YOU HELD ME — WHILE MY BODY SWITCHED ITSELF OFF. How Perimenopause, ADHD and PMDD silenced my body — and how I found my way back By Stephanie Cowdell — In collaboration with Laura Seymour
A&E arranged a brain scan — “normal”. Yet nothing about how I felt was normal. In January 2023, I received my ADHD diagnosis. It explained the sensory overload, but not the hormonal crashes or two-week emotional spirals. Something deeper was still being missed.
I didn’t realise my body was shutting down — I just knew something was deeply wrong. At 41, everything felt different: exhaustion I couldn’t shake, emotional overwhelm, and days where my body felt wired yet drained. I kept going back to the GP, but visit after visit, nothing joined together. Deep down, I knew something bigger was happening.
By 2024, everything collapsed. I withdrew socially, stopped exercising and felt myself fading. GPs offered CBT but still didn’t check my hormones.
In early 2020, before lockdown, I took myself away for ten quiet days. No alcohol, early nights, proper rest. I returned feeling reset — but the calm didn’t last. By the end of the year, I met my partner, who unknowingly became the person who held me together through the hardest years of my life. He witnessed the inflammation, the mood swings, the shutdowns, and the days I barely recognised myself. He is now my fiancé — the one who held me up through it all, even on the days I didn’t want to leave the house because my skin felt inflamed and sunken. His patience never left me, even when he said it sometimes felt like he was on an emotional rollercoaster, too. We talked through everything, and he became my anchor. By 2022, my symptoms escalated dramatically. I experienced headaches, blurred vision, and days where I needed a magnified mirror just to see clearly because my perception felt “off”, as though the world wasn’t lining up properly. Thankfully, this improved later, but at the time, it was frightening. I also developed light sensitivity, tinnitus, bladder issues, water retention, overwhelming fatigue, appetite swings and inflammation across my face and skin. I felt cold constantly. Holidays were spent asleep. My confidence disappeared. I felt disconnected from my own body. One morning, I woke up unable to read my phone clearly.
By December 2024, I reached the Manchester Menopause Hive. I was so low — physically, mentally and emotionally — and it was the first time someone truly listened. During a one-hour Zoom consultation, everything was tailored to my symptoms, and I finally began a proper treatment plan with a three-month review. My symptoms slowly began to ease, and it was the first sense of hope I’d felt in years. In March 2025, blood tests showed my testosterone was low. I began therapy soon after. Yet by June and July, many symptoms returned — fatigue, inflammation and low mood. A deeper review in August showed I wasn’t absorbing my testosterone gel properly. At the same time, I logged symptoms I’d never understood — leading to a diagnosis I’d never heard of: PMDD. Suddenly, everything made sense. In September 2025, I began Slynd continuously to stabilise PMDD. My HRT was refined, my testosterone adjusted, and my deficiencies corrected. It wasn’t a magic wand, but I researched endlessly — especially around nutrition — and slowly learned how to support my body properly. Bit by bit, energy, stability and confidence returned. And the person who stood by me through every stage is still right beside me. I remain under the care of the Manchester Menopause Hive, with my next review and blood work due in December. They have supported me from day one — at a time when I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it through. If anyone reading this feels the same or needs support, please reach out — if I can help, I will.
My hormones collapsed, and it showed on my skin — redness, inflammation and breakouts in the March and April photos. Once my levels stabilised, everything improved. By late September my skin had calmed, and by October my natural fullness had returned — shown in the last picture. Didn’t want to leave the house, was so low.
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