Motley Issue 6 2013 by Motley Magazine

2013 Oscars and Brit Awards Special Interview with Jerry Buttimer TD

Fashion Shoot at the Hayfield Manor

SU Elections - Behind the Scenes and The Art of Pandering

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current affairs entertainments features fashion

‘Let me entertain you...’ I’m an avid film fan. I couldn’t go a fortnight without watching one – be it a re-watch of a DVD or going to the cinema for a new release, my eccentric side would probably go to the extreme if I didn’t have films (or musicals, for that matter). I have countless films, old and new, from several genres and for every mood, that I can revisit. I could easily list over 30 films on a given day for my ‘top ten’ (and they can differ a lot from day to day), but Woody Allen’s Love and Death is one that will always make the list. ‘All there is in life is wheat…’ Unsurprisingly, for the past few years in the run-up to the Oscars I have watched the nominated films and chosen my favourites. Of course, the Academy and I have some differing opinions on nominees and winners. It seems that they’re not always right. The Oscar buzz has returned this year for the 85th Academy Awards, and in this issue of Motley we have an ‘Awards Special’ in our Entertainments section. And it’s not just films which are praised during awards season – to acknowledge this we’ve given a nod to the 2013 Brit Awards. Take a break from the work. Watch a film, listen to your favourite album, read a book, turn on the TV for a while – whatever you choose, just relax and enjoy it. Let us know what you thought of our penultimate issue of the year! —John Murphy

The Team Editor — editor@motley.ie John Murphy Current Affairs — currentaffairs@motley.ie Alan Conway (Editor) Orla Hubbard (Deputy Editor) Entertainments — entertainments@motley.ie Emma Mc Carthy (Editor) Eimear Hurley (Deputy Editor) Tamara Malone (Deputy Editor) Features — features@motley.ie Mae McSweeney (Editor) Senita Appiakorang (Deputy Editor) Peter Neville (Deputy Editor) Fashion — fashion@motley.ie Aisling Fitzpatrick (Editor) Emma Oliver (Deputy Editor) Designer — design@motley.ie Richard Sheehy

The Writers Leah Aftab Nicole Clinton Sarah Commane Shannon Corcoran Eoghan Dalton Colm Pádraig Duffy Martha Hegarty Hannah Higgins Gearoid Holland Dave Horgan Eoghan Lyng

Joe Langford Shell Leonard Gavin Lynch-Frahill Gary McKeating Laura O’Donovan Terry O’Sullivan R. Sole Tommy Tobin Bryan Wall Laura Marie Whelton Abigail Daisy Woods

Web Editor - web@motley.ie Kieran Murphy PR/Marketing — pr@motley.ie Louise Maher Photographer Egle Laukyte Advertising — comms@uccsu.ie James O’Doherty

18:

Review of the Oscar-nominated Les MisĂŠrables.

10-11: IMF vs IMF

22:

Glorious bastards.

12: A closer look at the US Foreign Policy and the use of torture as depicted in Zero Dark Thirty.

23: Is Beyonce Carter Knowles working for Lucifer?

42: Charting Vanity Fairâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual Hollywood Covers. 3

currentaffairs@motley.ie

current affairs

Man of the People: Interview with Jerry Buttimer TD Orla Hubbard sits down with Fine Gael TD for Cork South-Central, Jerry Buttimer, to discuss local government reforms, abortion legislation, the SUSI meltdown, and the future of the coalition. As former Seanad spokesperson on Community, Rural and Gaeltacht Affairs, what do you think needs to be done to combat the issue of rural isolation, and the mental health issues that go with it? This is an issue which has gained traction in recent weeks given the proposal of Kerry County Council regarding drink driving. As a politician who has bachelor uncles living in rural parts of north and west Cork who are vulnerable people, I maintain that you can’t allow a situation to develop where you promote drink driving. We have a zero tolerance approach to drink driving. We need to look at how we can develop community in terms of people coming together, socialising, and calling on neighbours, because we’ve always had isolation, be it in urban or rural life, and I think what we have to try and achieve is that people feel included, and feel vital to the community. We must look at how we can challenge people to become involved in activities that don’t centre around the pub, so that people don’t have to use alcohol as a means of congregation. That requires working in partnership with community associations in rural Ireland, and I think we can achieve that.

As Chairman of the Committee on Health and Children, you oversaw the recent submissions on the forthcoming abortion legislation. What can we expect to see in the legislation? As Chairman of the Committee it wouldn’t be appropriate to give a personal viewpoint on it, but the Government is clear in that we are going to legislate and regulate within the parameters of Article 40.3.3. The Constitution is also quite clear in that it gives equal right to the life of the mother and the unborn and I think it’s very important that we have a debate that’s calm – that’s respectful, irrespective of one’s viewpoint. Some people will be very much pro-choice, other people will be very much against abortion coming in, and I think terms like ‘pro-life’ are not helpful because I think everyone is pro-life; I don’t know anybody who’s against life in any shape or form. The Supreme Court decision and the European Court decision require that clarity be brought, and it requires a legislative and a regulatory approach. What Government will do won’t go far enough for some people, and it will go too far for others, but I think that we must reflect upon the Heads of the Bill when it comes out in the spring and see what that contains, so there’s a significant amount of time to go yet in the debate before the legislation is brought to its final position. The Minister is quite clear that he can only act within Article 40.3.3 of the Constitution. The Government won’t replicate what happened in America or England. They are going to stay within Article 40.3.3.

Has the Government considered holding a referendum to remove Article 40.3.3, considering the confusion it has caused? No. The Taoiseach has made it clear that there won’t be another referendum. Now, there may be in time, perhaps, but at the moment the Taoiseach has made it clear that there’s not. The country has voted on it already and they’ve made the decision that it’s going to stay there.

One of the main issues facing students this year has been the hardship caused by the failure of the SUSI grant system. What is being done to make sure that this will not happen again next year? Well, first of all, the Minister had franchised out the administration of the system to Dublin VEC. It’s a bit like the medical card – when you move it out to a centralised system there are teething difficulties. It’s important that we make it easier for people to apply. Like when we’re booking a train ticket online, that there’s a process you go through, and at the end of the process you’ve a checklist of what you need, and it flags that ‘I need to return document X.’ I think we need to look at how we can make that process easier, more simplistic, more student-friendly, while at the same time recognising that there is an obligation too on the student to have all the necessary documentation. To me, it’s about the student requiring money, requiring the assistance, and making it easier for them. The process must also be shortened, more accessible and more flexible, and I will make suggestions to the Minister on that. And I think Dublin VEC, in its infancy, in its first year, needs to reflect on what went wrong and to rectify it.

Was the system rushed in too quickly before the proper resources had been allocated? I think you can argue that point. I’m more familiar with the medical card and the problems when we streamlined it into one centre in Finglas. I think we can learn from that; it obviously needs more personnel at certain times of the year when there’s a bigger volume of applications, and that needs to be looked at. So the process must be made simpler, more straightforward, more streamlined, and, again, it may mean being flexible with how we allocate resourcing in terms of staff to different parts of the year. So I would be very much open to that.

Can you consider yourself a national legislator, when so much of your time has to be allocated to pandering to local issues in the community, which should not really be within your remit? First of all, I think the abolition of the dual mandate was the correct decision in that a national parliamentarian should not necessarily have to sit on a local authority council. This morning I’ve had four people in the office, and every single person that came in, bar one, was a local or an individual concern – be it housing, be it traffic, etc. – as opposed to a global concern. So there’s a balance that needs to be struck between being a national parliamentarian and allowing yourself as an individual politician to be able to concentrate and read briefing papers and policy papers on a variety of matters. And sometimes you can’t do that because the volume of interest at local level is on the local matter. In saying that, the issue of community and the issue of a person’s individual needs are very important because, for them, to make that step to come in the door to your office, in lots of cases, is a huge, huge, journey – one that they wouldn’t necessarily make only for the fact that they had to. So I think there must be a real analysis of how we can make politics more accountable and more transparent, whilst at the same time, in some cases, changing how people interact with their member of the Dáil or the Seanad. But if you become just a pure national parliamentarian you lose contact with your constituents, and that leads to different ramifications. It is a question that the Constitutional Convention will be discussing in a couple of weeks’ time.

And will the Putting People First reforms have a tangible impact on this issue? I think they will; I think they’ll create a bigger emphasis on local democracy. I don’t necessarily think that abolition or merger is reform. I think we need to look at reform in terms of community employment, and, for example, the promotion and marketing of Cork as a tourism hub. Personally, I think this requires one Super-council between Cork City and Cork County which promotes Cork as the counterbalance to Dublin and Belfast. We need to keep people focused on the importance of what Cork has to offer, be it in terms of shopping, food, culture, music, and I think the best forum and the best vehicle through which to

do that is through the medium of a Super-authority – a merger of Cork City and County Councils – and I think that that would give the region a strength: it would give it a democratic mandate, it would allow it to be empowered, and it could then go on without having any fear of division between City and County, and speak with different agencies and try and attract investment, to promote the region as a ‘come-to’ place.

As the Government nears its second anniversary, what are the biggest challenges facing the coalition up to 2016? The biggest challenge that we face is the creation and retention of jobs. Unemployment is way too high, but if you look at where we’ve come from as a government, I think there’s been an incremental improvement. We must make it easy to employ people; make it worth having a job as opposed to not being employed. I think if we can do that then we’ll get our country back. The second issue we’d look at would be engineering abroad the perception and the reality that Ireland is open for business with a very educated workforce, and with a lot of positives in terms of the employment conditions and our corporate tax rate. It is about telling people abroad that we are a good place to invest, that we have managed our finances and that we are prepared to make hard decisions to allow for our country to grow and for people to be employed. The third point we have to tackle is in the context of our public finances. We have to demonstrate that we have the ability manage them, and not to allow our borrowings to go berserk like they did in the past… This won’t be easy in the context of a new Croke Park deal because people have expectations and they have rights and entitlements, but I think we must demonstrate that we can change work practices and work models, while at the same time preserving the integrity of the public service.

Images: rettsyndrome.ie, jerrybuttimer.ie, flickr.com, corkpolitics.ie, g-force.ie

De Bhíos an Lá i bPort Láirge

Eoghan Lyng comments on the plans to amalgamate the city and county councils of Waterford. Having lived there for seventeen years, I saw its primal enterprises (Waterford Crystal and Talk Talk) fall flat on their faces, and I saw the place turn from a bright region of prospectus to retaining more unemployed people than anywhere else in the country. But, despite its massive flaws, it was quite cool to grow up in Ireland’s oldest city – this is an attribute that neither Dublin nor Cork can boast about. The place has stood since 917 AD since its foundation by the Vikings. Though its title as a city may be a rudimentary one, it is a title that Waterford natives feel proud of – and rightfully so. It is preposterous that an area should be stripped of its title because of government policies. In terms of historical areas, it is arduous and arbitrary to remove its title because of political and economic matters. If it is not necessary that Limerick and Galway are demoted from their status as cities, then why is it mandatory for another place to lose its title? Is Waterford considered less important than these two cities? Waterford may not be as popular an area for tourists, but it’s still as statutory a city as those mentioned. And for what? Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan claimed in the Irish Examiner that this move will save the city anything from five to nine million a year. But is money everything? Is pride not more important? The line ‘tír gan teanga, í tír gan anam’ is a rudimentary cliché, but a similar opinion can be appropriated to this argument. Is a monetary decision as important as an obligatory title? That is a question that has been surprisingly been of little interest to the Irish media. True, there were a few written reports about this decision when it was initially announced back in October, but it has not had the interest that many stories that are less radical have garnered.

It looks like radical plans are set for the city and county councils of Waterford, Galway and Limerick. The Department of Environment and Local Government have legislated a new policy to amalgamate the city and county of the aforementioned areas. For Galway and Limerick, this legislation has not been met with the media frenzy that other legislations have encountered. The most glaring comment stated from any Galway person was a quote from former mayor, Cllr. Michael Crowe, in which he has stated that the idea would be detrimental to the eponymous city. There has been little comment from the authorities of Limerick also, despite the fact that the merger of the two councils is likely to upset Limerick’s vicinity. Tipperary, similarly, will undergo a merger of the North and South county councils, despite the separate identities that are felt by the people. Cork, unsurprisingly, has managed to escape its county and city councils joining into a local authority. Despite this supposed escape, their boundaries are to be broadened within time. Despite the fact that there shall be a personal set back (council members will now be forced to work with colleagues to whom they have neither experience nor commodities with), Limerick, Galway and Cork will retain their titles as cities.

The lack of interest in this matter makes the situation even more difficult to swallow. Are the people of Waterford facing an irreversible situation? Is this upset a silly matter at the end of the day? Maybe it is. But a city is a city no matter how small it is. If a status can be taken for the preservation of pieces of paper, it questions the morals of the people of today.

This is not the case for Waterford. As of 2014, Waterford will become legislated under its county council and it looks like it will be deprived of its city status. You would have had to be living under a rock, or have been away from Facebook for ages, to understand how controversial this concept has been. The county itself has been divided in two: there are those who respect the economic benefits of only having one council, and there are others who feel that their claim as city folk is being taken away from them by politicians. It may not be as jarring as the divisive Treaty from 1922, but it is still a bitter kick in the teeth for the people of Waterford.

Images: Waterfordpictures.com.

If you were to look at this allegorically, it would be the equivalent of a person losing the house that they reside in because of some mishaps that their landlord was responsible for. Why should the tenants suffer the consequences because of their landlord’s incompetencies?

A Challenging Time for the Irish Defence Forces Gavin Lynch-Frahill analyses the recent restructuring of the Irish Defence Forces.

Throughout our history, Ireland has held many armed struggles to try to achieve her independence. From this, Ireland had a military tradition that has spanned the centuries, supplying exiled soldiers to foreign armies on the continent and across the Atlantic in America. It is therefore an anomaly that such a traditionally warlike people as the Irish have a small Defence Forces. Our newly adopted peaceful nature has been demonstrated and still is being shown around the world in our many missions, where we send peace keepers with the United Nations and European Union to contain some of the worst conflicts in the world. But what can be said of the Defence Forces today? Many have argued that there is no need for an Army, Naval Service, or Air Corps. The Icelandic model of no standing army has been chosen by all making the argument for sustaining a country without an army. It is fair to say that, for Ireland, that it is not an achievable option. Given our history, where the gun has always found a place in our politics, a standing army is needed for the scourge of dissidents. Without threat of a better equipped military force in the country such groups could train at will, and unless the Gardaí were armed they would be unopposed. Terrorism is not the only issue for retention of the Defence Forces; aid to the civil power is a task that is required on a frequent and infrequent basis. Every day, the Army conducts cash in transit escorts due to their high risk of being targeted by criminal gangs. In times of national disaster such as flooding and severe weather, the Army provides manpower to keep the country running. In the last big freeze we had the Army use their all-terrain vehicles to allow nurses and doctors carry out rounds of their patients living in rural areas. The Air Corps carry out ministerial transport where they bring our politicians to other countries to represent us. Although there has been controversy over the extent of expenses and fair usage of this service by the Government, the service is also used to ferry sick individuals to the United States and Great Britain for medical treatment. In response to the general reduction of paramilitary threat in Ireland as a result of the peace process, the Army has also been reduced in size. It has been cut from three brigades to two where the 2nd Eastern Brigade and 4th Western Brigade were merged into the Northern Brigade. A vast amount of army barracks have also been shut, most of the border camps have been shut down and the main barracks have had units disbanded. The closest to home was the 3rd Infantry Battalion, based in Collins Barracks Cork, which was disbanded after a long and distinguished history. The Defence Forces appear to have made a shift of focus to the sea where the Naval Service has been undergoing an increase in recruitment – where they had three recruit classes engaged in training at once, a number unheard of from the early 1980s – and two new ships have

been ordered and are undergoing construction in Appledore Shipyards in Devon. Why should we invest in our Navy while downsizing our Army? The answer is simple: Ireland’s seas are rich in minerals and resources, as recent oil finds off the Cork coast have shown. Ireland is also laying claim to the Atlantic Shelf which lies outside our 200 mile economic zone. To claim this we need to be able to patrol it and expanding our Navy allows this. Also, the Naval Service has aided the Irish Coastguard in search and rescue operations. To expand this, the new vessels being purchased will be fitted with un-manned submersibles and a capability for Direct Positioning (the ability to keep a ship stationary in an exact position, this is near impossible for a normal ship). It begs the question: will Ireland, an island nation, give priority to its Naval Development or will this be curtailed in line with Defence Forces and other governmental department reductions? A suggestion has been given that Ireland’s Defence Forces should be downgraded to a Gendarmerie quasi-military police force. With the dayto-day jobs the Defence Forces carry out, there is much similarity to this role, but arguments against it are rife. The ‘Blue Flu’ unofficial Garda strike during the early 2000s showed that an impartial force is required for the government as a result of domestic unrest. The prison officers’ strike and the Dublin Corporation Workers and Bus Éireann strikes in the last century are perfect examples of how the Defence Forces were called upon to fill in civil roles to keep the country functioning by the Government. In a military sense, Ireland compared to a global stage is nothing but practical. We would not even be considered to be a military nation. Our Navy is classed as a constabulary navy one step above the ‘token’ navies of dictators who purchase antiquated warships, and a couple of leagues below the global fleet projection status of the United States or task deployment status of the United Kingdom. Our army is at best a modern 1980s era army with poor logistical combat projection for campaigns, but with good modern equipment for the job it is required to do. The only combat aircraft our Air Corps possess is the Pilatus PC-9, a turbo prop trainer which can be fitted with machine guns and rockets – at best a late World War II fighter/ground attack aircraft. Yet the military has evolved to fill its role appropriately and allow the smooth running of the state. To even compare our armed forces to the armed forces of any other global power is beyond sanity and should only lie in the imaginations of small boys. We have a Defence Force that carries out an important role, and the recent developments to focus on securing our resources at sea has been a step in the right direction for the naysayers who question value for money.

Images: Wikipedia user KGG1951, Military.ie.

Will America Ever Decide to Effect Real Gun Control? Joe Langford discusses the historical and contemporary context of the Second Amendment.

He may have been looking for something that will define his legacy, but Barack Obama may just have bitten off more than he can chew. In proposing a wide-ranging plan for executive and legislative action to curb gun violence, Obama set up a fierce clash with the powerful US gun lobby and its supporters in Congress who will resist what they see as an encroachment on constitutionally protected gun rights. But the real issue here has been lost in the ‘fog’ of hyperbole and predictable rhetoric on all sides of the argument. The ‘elephant in the room’ that needs to be defined first is this: the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, considering the ‘right to keep and bear arms’, is one which is long overdue a complete re-evaluation.

The concept of ‘bearing arms’ is one that is now completely divorced from the reality of that which it was designed to be representative. The weapons in use now are a far cry from muskets of 220 years ago, which could never have caused the street violence too often prevalent in American cities and public buildings. The semi-automatic weaponry which is accompanied by comprehensive training and strict regulation in armies around the world, and is now freely available at gun shows throughout the US, would never have entered the wildest dreams of the authors of the Bill of Rights. The Founders’ reference to militias in the Second Amendment reflects the importance they attached to an armed citizenry as a protection against tyrannical government. The right to keep and own firearms was never proposed for the protection of the individual, in a strict interpretation of the context of its original conception, as ratified in 1791. This right should not therefore be considered as an absolute one. An individual’s right to own and bear arms must be balanced by the greater social needs of a society and its citizens’ right to safety.

The Second Amendment to the US Constitution is open to wide interpretation because of its wording and its inherent meaning, having been designed to facilitate another era and environment which no longer exist. The framers of the Bill of Rights envisioned the Second Amendment during a time when the United States was a fledgling nation, uncertain of its future. The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution declares that ‘A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.’

The reliance on a legal phrase constructed 220 years ago to govern something so crucial as the right to ownership of a potentially murderous weapon is a clause of the US Constitution that evidently requires re-evaluation. The US Supreme Court Justices’ recent rulings on the subject, although perfectly legal, constitutional and enforceable, were split decisions and symbolic of wider opinion in America today. If the Second Amendment is to be read literally, it embodies only a collective right as the right to keep guns is indelibly linked to the old militias – institutions that no longer exist. This outdated and outmoded Amendment is of another era, too wide open to interpretation and too serious an issue in today’s increasingly violent society for a complete re-evaluation not to be considered. The Bill of Rights is not so sacred that it cannot be altered, along with the changing needs of American society. Images: cbsnews.com, salon.com, bradwarthen.com.

This short assertion is written in such a fashion as to leave it open to much misinterpretation. The authors could not have imagined the level of carnage that has developed in today’s American society, where gun violence is propagating more gun ownership and encouraging a vicious cycle of paranoia among its people. The recent Supreme Court judgments of District of Columbia v Heller (2008) and McDonald v City of Chicago (2010) have attempted to clearly interpret the Second Amendment. The Supreme Court ruled that the Second Amendment was valid in federal enclaves in 2008, and extended this validity to states in 2010. Both judgments were of a slim majority (5-4), and delineated along the expected lines of gun rights / gun control among the judiciary. This Second Amendment must be considered outmoded, outdated and no longer fit for the purpose it was intended. Therefore it should be repealed and a more suitable and contemporary clause created in its place. The deaths of 20 young children in the Newtown School Massacre in Connecticut has coincided with the new mandate which President Obama received in last November’s election. There has never been a better time to seek to legislate for genuinely effective gun control measures and to engage in battle with the strongly influential pro-gun ownership lobby and its flagship bearer, the National Rifle Association (NRA), for the hearts and minds of American society.

Enough Bullshit Colm Pádraig Duffy enters the fray and discusses the Palestinian Conflict which has generated heated debate within the magazine’s pages in recent issues. Over 150 rockets were launched at Israel in November of last year. The Israeli government has reported that many of these hit civilian areas, some of which caused casualties and damage to infrastructure. These rocket attacks are wrong and unlawful, they help no one, and should stop. But what drives these small groups of armed Palestinians in Gaza to such an act of desperation? Well, unfortunately, that list is long and goes back as far as 1948 with the systematic expulsion of the Palestinian people from their lands. The conflict has gone on ever since, with a heavy handed Israeli government determined to expel the remaining Palestinians. The majority of the Palestinians now live in either the city of Gaza or on the West Bank. Israel has maintained a blockade of Gaza since 2007 which severely restricts the movement of goods into the area. This has made life impossible for the 1.6 million Palestinians living in Gaza city. Furthermore, in the West Bank, there are over 500 military check points that ensure there is no easy access for Palestinians to schools, hospitals, work places, and so on. The construction of a 700km wall by the Israeli government has meant that the Palestinian people are shut into their prison and are able to come and go only at the whim of their Israeli masters. It is disturbing that any government, past or present, would attempt to concentrate human beings in one area while using an armed force to take away their rights and freedoms. Israeli settlements, which are in violation of International Law, are being constructed in and around Palestinian areas adding further fuel to the fire. The settlements are gradually eroding the little territory the Palestinian people have left. In 2010, 1,100 Palestinians were displaced after the demolition of 620 Palestinian homes. The Palestinian homes were demolished in order to build Zionist settler homes in their place. These aggressive Zionist settlers are then moved into, or next to, Palestinian areas. Many of the settlers harass and intimidate local Palestinian families. In some cases they have even shot at their Palestinian neighbours from their homes. One Palestinian college student recalls: ‘I tried to study at night for my Biology exam, but I was forced to stop, as every time I turned the light on I was shot at’. The Zionist settlers are encouraged to move to Palestinian-occupied territories with government-funded loans and cheap housing. If the settlements are occupied for a period of 10 years or more, then the settlers do not have to pay back the loans at all. The engine that drives the persecution of the Palestinians is, without a shadow of a doubt, the Israeli government. Only 10% of the West Bank is populated by Zionist settlers,

yet they enjoy superior privileges to the native Palestinian people. Palestinians are treated as third class citizens in their own country. The bottom line is that the Israeli government wants the Palestinians out. Any Palestinian family that wants a normal life – a future for their children, to have peace, security and freedom… well, they better move, because they won’t find it there. On top of this, Palestinians are often arbitrarily arrested, tortured, detained without trial and unable to express themselves freely. Palestinian activists in the West Bank who mounted protests against the wall and the presence of illegal

Israeli settlements continue to face arrest and trial before Israeli military courts. Operation ‘Cast Lead’ took place in 2008/2009. During this operation, Israel invaded Gaza with the stated goal of stopping incoming rocket fire from Gaza. In 2009, a United Nations report, called the Goldstone Report was published, condemning the use of rocket fire by the Palestinians. It also heavily criticised the tactics and disproportionate use of force by the Israelis. Among the authors of the report was Colonel Desmond Travers, a former officer in the Irish Armed Forces and member of the Board of Directors of the Institute for International Criminal Investigations. I had the pleasure of attending a lecture by Colonel Travers last year when he spoke at UCC. Colonel Travers left no doubt in my mind that the Israeli actions were indeed human rights violations and that the intentional targeting of civilians by the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) was a form of punishment for rocket attacks. The report itself highlights many violations by the IDF, including the use of white phosphorous, a horrific and deadly killer, in built up civilian areas. The use of white phosphorous in civilian areas is in violation of International Law. Moreove,r the use of white phosphorous in the targeting of two hospitals and a UN aid convey is simply sickening. The report also found that the IDF were guilty of using Palestinians as human shields in the conflict. There were many cases of human shields being used by the IDF, but a particularly highly documented case was that of two IDF soldiers who were found guilty of reckless endangerment after using an 11 year-old boy as a human shield in an offensive.

Operation Cast Lead lasted 22 days, and during this time over 1,400 Palestinians and 13 IDF (the majority of IDF were hit by friendly fire) were killed. To be absolutely clear on this point: the vast majority of the Palestinian dead were civilians, and many of them children. The Goldstone Report states, in no uncertain terms, that the assault on Gaza by the IDF was designed to ‘humiliate and terrorize a civilian population, radically diminish its local economic capacity both to work and to provide for itself, and to force upon it an ever increasing sense of dependency and vulnerability’. If this article seems one sided, it is because it is one sided – because this conflict is one sided. An occupation by a hostile force is always one sided. When you have a civilian population which is constantly subjected to the violations and humiliations of an occupying military force, there are going to be frustrated groups who are going to take action. I do not support these groups, but I can understand what has caused them. I also understand that they account for a very small percentage of the Palestinian population and I know that they are a convenient excuse for the Israeli government to cull the population of Gaza whenever it pleases. Simply put, the actions taken against the Palestinian people by the Israeli government have ensured the creation of these militant groups. I have sympathy for the loss of innocent life on both sides of this conflict, but there is one aggressor here, and they have been the agitator of this conflict since 1948. In November of last year, the UN General Assembly overwhelmingly voted to recognize Palestine as a State. The Israeli government’s response to this was to seize US $120 million in Palestinian tax revenue. Furthermore, the day after the recognition of Palestinian statehood, the Israeli government approved and began the construction of 3,000 Israeli homes in the Palestinian occupied West Bank. Such is the measure of the Israeli governments resolve. How does one broker a lasting peace when simple recognition by the rest of the world results in such aggressive action? Finally, this article was written in response to a previous article, ‘Another Perspective’ by Mr Barry Williams, which was printed in January’s issue of Motley. I had intended on picking that article apart, but, to be perfectly honest, the article is so inaccurate that there was little point. I have decided to lay out the true facts of the situation as per reputable sources. Mr Williams is entitled to his opinion, but he is not entitled to write dangerously inaccurate material that belittles the plight of thousands of innocent Palestinian civilians who are struggling for survival.

The Real IMF Gearoid Holland

It’s that quarter of the year again: the IMF have us Irish under investigation. Despite Ruairi Quinn giving the Leaving Cert students of 2012 bonus points for Honours Maths, the IMF is still a little sceptical of our ability to add up figures, so they’re here to check our tots. The IMF has a negative perception, particularly in the Irish media. However, there seems to be a bit of confusion and misinformation about the IMF, so here’s a quick guide as to who they are and what they do.

IMF International Monetary Fund Global economic organisation. Highly secretive about its methods. Does a lot of travelling. Takes on the ludicrous task of reasoning with overpaid civil servants on how cutbacks should be imposed, knowing full well that civil servants will assume that anybody at the meeting (i.e. themselves) should be exempted from the pain.

Publicly disseminates information regarding the appropriateness of individual countries’ economic and financial policies. Waits for 40 years before disclosing in the small print of one of their reports (so small that only the Irish Examiner spotted it) that:

Saves national economies from corrupt governments, and from themselves

(i) they got their facts wrong and austerity doesn’t actually work.

Works to foster global growth and economic stability. Provides policy advice and financing to members in economic difficulties and also works with developing nations to help them achieve macroeconomic stability and reduce poverty.

(ii) they completely underestimated the impact that austerity would have on Ireland’s economy.

Seeks to increase employment by lending money to countries in difficult financial circumstances. Monitors measures taken by governments to improve their economies – they call this ‘surveillance’. Staff use pressure tactics and threats of cutting off the target’s allowance. The objective is to deceive their targets into thinking they are cooperating with them without detecting any kind of illegal spread betting on the international financial markets, until the negotiations are complete Apply a one-solution-fits-all approach to every economy they visit, showing little interest in understanding the nuances of the cultural end environmental factors surrounding them.

Front-line staff are skilled in talking economic technicalities and playing hardball. They don’t understand reason, or eat Riesen either. I’m taking the fifth on this one… Negotiate and enforce bilateral economic treaties. Bypass proper lending arrangements such as feasible payback schedules (which is partly why the problem with the Irish banks ballooned so quickly 2-3 years ago). Staff offer countries a deal they couldn’t refuse. Often accused of hijacking economies and damaging them with very severe policies (though not technically crashing them) Attend parties at embassies and consulates where pyramids of Ferrero Rocher are served.

Animal affinity = puck goat.

IMF Impossible Missions Force International espionage agency that is completely fictional… or, at least, that’s what they want you to believe. Highly secretive about its methods.

Never admits wrong-doing. All their office stationery has the tendency to self-destruct after five seconds anyway – less paperwork means less office administration costs.

Does a lot of travelling. Takes on impossible’ missions – which is not the same as futile. Saves the world from the evil plans of corrupt governments, and terrorists bent on world domination. Saves the day. Sometimes s**t gets blown up. Still less destructive to the economy though! Seeks to increase freedom. May inadvertently create employment by creating lots of collateral damage, whereby the purchase of replacement items stimulates the economy. Engages in covert surveillance techniques to determine the diabolical plans of the bad guy Agents use confidence tricks, infiltration, and high technology devices on their targets.

The use of IMF post-its as ‘Kick Me’ prank notes has been banned following an… unfortunate incident on April Fools’ Day a few years ago. Agents display skill in social engineering and misdirection, improvisational acting, hand-to-hand combat, sleight of hand, and fluency in multiple languages. Undertakes missions aimed at undermining communist governments, dictatorships, and other opponents of democracy. Bypass extradition treaties and the sovereignty of foreign soil. Team members are offered a mission should they ‘choose to accept it’.

The objective is to deceive their targets into cooperating with them without detecting any kind of deception until the ‘impossible mission’ is carried out. Adapt to their surroundings.

Often accused of hijacking vehicles without a valid driving licence and crashing them in such circumstances that insurance companies won’t pay out. Attend parties at embassies and consulates where pyramids of Ferrero Rocher are served.

Animal affinity = chameleon Disavows all knowledge that it even exists, never mind that it was ever there.

So which one do YOU trust to get you out of a tight spot?

Images: DC Entertainment, PublicIntelligence.net.

Zero Sense, and a Darker Agenda

Bryan Wall critiques the glorification of US Foreign Policy and the use of torture as it is portrayed in the latest Hollywood blockbuster, Zero Dark Thirty.

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few months, it would have been impossible not to hear about the recently released movie Zero Dark Thirty, which puts onto celluloid the decade long hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Taking as its starting point the attacks on the Twin Towers, the movie charts the mission from the perspective of one female CIA agent up until Bin Laden’s assassination at the hands of a SEAL team. This depiction of the hunt for Bin Laden has been much lauded and has thus far been nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Picture, and four Golden Globes. The director, Kathryn Bigelow, has specifically attracted much of the praise, with her portrayal of strong women in the film earning her the title of a feminist hero in some quarters. Despite this praise, however, it has also been much criticised for its rather graphic portrayal of torture in order to mine information about the whereabouts of Bin Laden – torture which, by the way, was in no way responsible for acquiring the information which lead to Bin Laden’s capture. Human Rights Watch and even US Senators have issued statements deploring the portrayal of torture in Zero Dark Thirty as an effective tool – something which even the former head of the CIA, Leon Panetta, has said to not be the case. But this criticism misses another point raised in the feature film that is commonplace in much of Hollywood’s output when it comes to the Middle East: that Arabs are deceitful, not simply less than human, but unhuman, and therefore unworthy of not being tortured and killed, and certainly unworthy of our pity. This is demonstrated to us quite clearly within the first five minutes when an Arab prisoner is being tortured relentlessly. His interrogator refers to him as ‘a disgrace to humanity’, which sets the tone for much of the rest of the viewing. This should not come as a surprise to anybody who is remotely aware of the history of the Middle East and how it has been treated in Western popular culture for decades, and even centuries. It is a geographical area to be controlled and ruled by us, the West, as the indigenous inhabitants ‘cannot represent themselves; they must be represented’ – this being Marx writing in 1852 about Napoleon’s attempt to conquer Egypt 54 years previously. Zero Dark Thirty is simply a microcosm of US foreign policy towards the Middle East in which the lives of the natives are of no consequence or concern. They are merely bugs to be crushed under the boot of imperialist interests and power – aptly enough, the term given to victims of US drone strikes is ‘bug splats’. We can see this in Zero Dark Thirty when we see concern for the interrogators

and their wellbeing, whilst nothing of the sort is shown for the prisoners. We see the psychological toll of the war on the perpetrators, but not on anybody else as, being Arabs, they are not worthy of our pity or empathy. This is shown as evidence of our reluctance to engage in activities in the Middle East which would be seen as inhumane if carried out in the West: that we only undertake such a course of action when we have no other choice – and reluctantly at that. After all, what’s another dead or tortured Arab between Western, civilised friends? This ‘Hollywoodising’ of US foreign policy has an effect on the public’s perception of what it is acceptable to do under the guise of security. Amy Zegart, a Fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution, has noted as much. It would appear that under the Obama administration, the public has become more likely to agree with torturing suspected terrorists, including using waterboarding, and with assassinating suspected terrorists. Zegart, who had a poll carried out of 1,000 Americans in August of last year, even discovered that 25% of people would use a nuclear bomb to stop a terrorist threat. Where the true power of the ‘Hollywoodising’ effect is clearly shown is when the policy opinions of those who watch spy-themed shows compared to those who don’t are examined. What Zegart discovered was that ‘Americans who say they frequently watch spy-themed television shows or movies are significantly more likely than infrequent watchers to approve of assassinating terrorists, torturing terrorists, and using every torture technique pollsters asked about except threatening terrorist detainees with dogs’. One can be sceptical of such correlations, but as the US Navy have stated before, Top Gun was one of its best recruitment tools, with recruitment rising by over 500% after the movie’s release. The relationship between Hollywood and the US military is further solidified by the fact that Bigelow and her producer and screenwriter, Mark Boal, were both given access to documents and records pertaining to the hunt for Bin Laden, and the subsequent raid on his compound, that even members of Congress do not have access to, and they were also personally briefed by high-ranking members of the CIA. What makes the project of Bigelow and Boal so insidious is that they proclaim their work to be neutral – that, in particular, there is no stance taken either way regarding the presentation of torture in Zero Dark Thirty. This is, quite simply, an oxymoron. By characterising torture as neutral, it is apparently left up to the viewer to decide for themselves whether or not it is immoral – even though it is made quite clear in Zero Dark Thirty, fictitiously so, that it is an effective tool in the arsenal of the War on Terror, thus invalidating any claims of neutrality that the filmmakers have made. What Zero Dark Thirty truly portrays is acquiescence to the whims and needs of power, and all under the guise of supposed neutrality and entertainment. Images: winnipegfreepress.com, wikipedia.org, colincarman.com

film

Daniel Day-Lincoln

entertainments

Terry O’Sullivan takes a look at the career of one of the best actors of the generation. It is Oscar season again and, as ever, the Irish are clinging to some claim concerning the event. Unlike most years, though, it is not some outside chance at one of the minor Oscars that rarely make the broadcast the next day. No, this year we are backing an odds-on favourite: Daniel Day-Lewis is on track to win his third Oscar for Lincoln and we couldn’t be prouder. How did the son of an English Poet Laureate become Ireland’s most successful and acclaimed actor? Born on 29th of April to the Anglo-Irish poet Cecil Day-Lewis and actress Jill Balcon in London, he grew up in the rough and tumble of South London with his older sister Tamasin (later to become a noted documentary film-maker). After leaving school he originally was interested in becoming a carpenter but was not accepted into any apprenticeships. He fell back on acting and his training in presentational acting began at the renowned Bristol Old Vic Theatre though he would become more renowned for his adoption of method acting. Under the tutelage of such people as Pete Postlethwaite, Day-Lewis was able to obtain some choice roles in films such as the Oscar nominated Gandhi, A Room with a View and My Beautiful Laundrette. He first got acclaim in a leading role though for The Unbearable Lightness of Being in which he played a doctor involved in a bohemian love triangle during the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia. To prepare for the role he learned Czech for 8 months and started to refuse to break character during the shoot – possibly the beginning of his famously eccentric method acting style.

his critical success being linked to his method preparation revealed itself in both these Jim Sheridan films. For the former he learned to box with former World Champion Barry McGuigan and in the latter he had crew members throw cold water over him and shout abuse at him while confined to cell. He earned his second nomination for an Oscar starring in In the Name of the Father. After a frantic ’90s, Day-Lewis went off the grid and avoided the lime light of Hollywood. Rumour was that he went on to become an apprentice shoe maker in Italy during this time. However he refuses to speak of this time in his life as he is known as an intensely private man. He came roaring back with his Oscar nominated performance as mob boss Bill ‘The Butcher’ Cutting in Gangs of New York. This led to possibly his most acclaimed role as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood. Day-Lewis won over 30 awards for playing the maniacal oil tycoon in late 19th century California. I guess this brings us up until the present where Wicklow’s own son (he splits his time between his home there and New York) will be up against tough competition in this year’s 85th Academy Awards. He plays the eponymous Lincoln which required Day-Lewis to fashion himself into the sickly and frail frame of the 16th President of the United States. In this performance, he treads the line of a man who tries to maintain complete control of himself while circumstance seems to take all control of his environment out of his hands. He also convincingly manages to make the character a man for every situation, while in the background we see his home life slowly fall apart. All in all, it is a masterful performance from a true artisan in his craft. Here’s to another Oscar for our man Daniel!

The role that brought him to mainstream attention, though, was as the cerebral palsy-afflicted writer Christy Brown in My Left Foot. This involved an extreme dedication to his craft as he insisted that the crew push him around the set in a wheel chair so that he could feel what it was like to be disabled in such a way. Apparently he was so deep into the role he suffered broken ribs and other physical traumas stemming from his reluctance to ‘leave’ Christy behind after the camera had stopped rolling. He was attracted to the role after a particularly long dry spell in acting in which he had to take a job as a caretaker of an apartment block. This bought DayLewis back to Ireland, the country from which his father was from, and his association with since then has not stopped as he now has dual Irish and English citizenship. All his hard work paid off though, as he won the Academy Award for Best Actor while Brenda Fricker won the Best Supporting Actress gong for the same film which rounded off a successful night for the Irish.

Images: 20th Century Fox, Miramax Films.

The Last of the Mohicans was an easier experience but altogether as rigorous. He learned how to hunt and skin animals as well as going through extensive weight training. It again proved to be worth all the effort as it made Day-Lewis a bona fide box office sensation. During the ’90s he again took the time to go back to his Irish roots by taking roles in The Boxer and In the Name of the Father. Again, the common theme of

AWARDS SPECIAL

Who will Win?

Emma Mc Carthy gives her predictions for this year’s Oscars.

The Oscars. That time of year where the best of the best are honoured. Well, sometimes. Not all great actors are rewarded for their roles. Gary Oldman? No Oscar. Johnny Depp? No Oscar. Brad Pitt? Leonardo DiCaprio? Peter O’Toole (nominated eight times)? Angela Lansbury? Glenn Close? None of them have Oscars. In the last few years, people have stopped taking note of the Oscars, saying that the awards aren’t real and that they only take note of the biggest films, not the best. Sure, there are a few occasions when the Oscars notice the little guy; in 2007 Once won the accolade for best song while it was up against Disney powerhouse Alan Menken for his work on Enchanted. Most years, though, you can pretty much figure out well beforehand who will walk away with the award. With this in mind, it’s time to tell our predictions for this year’s awards.

Best Film Best Supporting Actor

I’m expecting a win for Les Misérables. Lincoln might steal it, but I hope it doesn’t. I would like to see the film follow in the show’s footsteps.

Please be Christoph Waltz, please be Christoph Waltz! That’s all I’m going to say. Haven’t seen him in Django Unchained? Watch it!

Best Actor I would love to see Hugh Jackman walk away with the award for his turn as Jean Valjean in this year’s Les Misérables in which he sang his way through twenty years as a man on the run but, alas, I think it’s safe to say the award will be safely planted into the hands of Daniel Day-Lewis for his performance in Lincoln. It’s not the wrong choice; Day-Lewis completely embodied the character but I just wish that both men had been nominated in different years or that the Oscars did what the Golden Globes do and have two categories – one for drama and one for a comedy or musical.

Best Supporting Actress Anne Hathaway. Boy, that was easy.

Best Animated Feature Brave will take the statue. I doubt there’s really much of an argument on that.

Best Directing Best Actress This is a bit of a harder one to call. My money would be on Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook, but would I think my money safe? Not at all. True, she won for best actress at the Golden Globes but that isn’t always an indication of who will in the Oscar. Is it that Lawrence is too young or is it that she seems a bit too goofy? I don’t know. Maybe Jessica Chastain will sweep it away from her for her performance in Zero Dark Thirty because, hey, Osama Bin Laden is dead and don’t you forget it, Americans! Patriotism rocks! It’s a hard one to call because the voters may surprise us and give it to Quvenzhané Wallis. No, I haven’t heard of her either. My predictions lie firmly between Lawrence and Chastain, with a hope for Lawrence but an expectation for Chastain.

Another tough call. If I had to choose, it will probably be between Life of Pi’s Ang Lee and Lincoln’s Steven Spielberg. I feel Tom Hooper should have been nominated, but he wasn’t, so there you go. I would not be at all surprised if Michael Heneke stole it for Amour though.

Best Song Adele for ‘Skyfall’. Who doesn’t want to give Adele awards lately? With her big return to performing at the Oscars, they’re going to want to milk her being there for everything it’s worth. Her big, Shirley Bassett-sounding Bond theme will more than likely step all over the competition which is, once again, a shame for Les Misérables and ‘Suddenly’. Although the song is clearly fodder for the Oscars, it’s a good song and, in any other year, should have won. I don’t want to miss an Adele acceptance speech though. The woman always brightens up the boring speeches.

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Overlooked Talent Best Film I’m just going to say it: The Dark Knight Rises. People love it or hate it, but I loved it and I would have liked to see that trilogy go out with the reward it deserves.

Best Actor John Hawkes played a sexually ambitious polio sufferer in The Sessions. Read that again and explain to me how someone pulls off ‘sexually ambitious polio sufferer’ and doesn’t even get nominated?

Best Actress Marion Cotillard got rave reviews and a lot of buzz surrounding her performance in Rust and Bone as a whale trainer who suffers a terrible accident and ends up in a wheelchair and severely depressed. Cotillard is not only a good actress, she’s a charming actress even when her character isn’t all that charming, so her snub for Naomi Watts in Asian People Don’t Matter – oh sorry, I heard they changed the title to The Impossible – is baffling.

Best Supporting Actor LEONARDO DICAPRIO, I HOPE YOU KNOW EVERYONE ELSE TREASURES YOU AS MUCH AS THE ACADEMY SHOULD. WE LOVE YOU.

Best Supporting Actress Kerry Washington. Yeah, I’m giving Django a lot of love, but, seriously, the woman spent the bulk of the film being tortured and humiliated and she pulled it off like a pro. How no one was talking about her performance is a mystery and a travesty. She got Leonardo DiCaprio’s blood smeared all over her face without expecting it and kept on going. She’s a trooper.

Best Direction Would it be wrong to say I wanted Ben Affleck nominated and to have him win? Argo was a great film and Affleck’s talent really lies behind the camera more than in front of it. That’s not to say he’s not a good actor. I honestly think the hate he’s been receiving in the past few years has been unwarranted (ditto with Anne Hathaway). Everyone makes bad films but with Argo and The Town, Affleck’s proven to be a lot better than people gave him credit for. Also, Christopher Nolan never getting a nomination for the Batman films is a joke. Sure, superhero movies don’t get the recognition, but Nolan did wonderfully in directing that film so, really, the fact that the movie is about a billionaire dressing up as a bat shouldn’t influence the nominations. Yes, that was the story, but it was how Nolan told that story which should matter, and he told it brilliantly.

The Oscars go live in the US on February 24th. Be ready to laugh as I’ve probably gotten it all wrong. Enter our Oscars competition at http://tiny.cc/motleyoscars and check out our Facebook and Twitter pages for some Oscar-themed posts!

Images: Universal Pictures, 20th Century Fox, The Weinstein Company, Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures Classics, Warner Bros.

It’s not all about the Oscars! Eimear Hurley is more interested in the music awards of the month. The Academy Awards may be taking the movie world by storm, but the 20th of February will be one of the biggest nights of the music industry’s year – the Brit Awards. There is a sense of controversy about this year’s ceremony as James Corden will return to present the show, despite having infamously cut Adele’s acceptance speech short last year. The statuettes have been designed by Damien Hirst, the artist famed for using preserved cow and shark carcasses in his work, but, thankfully, no animals were harmed in the production of the trophies. The ceremony is being shaken up a bit this year, too, with the omission of the Outstanding Contribution to Music award, and the introduction of two new categories: Special Recognition and Global Success. The Special Recognition prize this year goes to War Child UK, a charity that helps children affected by armed conflict, with which many artists are involved, including Coldplay and The Killers. Meanwhile, the Global Success Award will go to the British artist who has made the biggest name for themselves internationally. 2012 was Adele’s year, and this time around all eyes will be on Emeli Sandé, who has been nominated for three Brits. She will also be performing live at the ceremony, along with Robbie Williams, Mumford &Sons, Muse, Ben Howard, One Direction, and Justin Timberlake.

British Male Solo Artist Nominees: Ben Howard, Calvin Harris, Olly Murs, Richard Hawley, Plan B. Plan B and Olly Murs are two of the bigger names nominated in this category, but Richard Hawley and Ben Howard are more deserving candidates. Howard, Murs, and Plan B have all received nominations for best album, too, for which Hawley’s Standing at the Sky’s Edge was surely worth a nomination. Hopefully, Britpop veteran Hawley will win out over the young pups in this category, at least.

British Breakthrough Act Nominees: Alt J, Ben Howard, Jake Bugg, Jessie Ware, Rita Ora. The variety within this category shows that there is a lot to be expected from British music in 2013. Rita Ora is likely to pick up the prize, as her single ‘How We Do (Party)’ has earned her lots of airplay. Ben Howard and Jake Bugg are ones to watch, too, and their original takes on folk and indie respectively might end up giving a certain Mr Sheeran a run for his money over the coming months.

British Female Solo Artist Ware, Paloma Faith.

Nominees: Amy Winehouse, Bat for Lashes, Emeli Sandé, Jessie

Emeli Sandé is the bookies’ fancy for Best Female, and of the nominees she is the obvious choice. Amy Winehouse had been nominated for the award three times previously, winning it in 2007, and she has received a nomination for the posthumously released album Lioness: Hidden Treasures. While Winehouse’s contribution to the music industry is undeniable, Emeli Sandé or Paloma Faith have had more of an influence in the last year. Cheryl Cole, whose second album was released last June, is notably absent from this category, and so Winehouse’s nomination is a good sign of the Brit voters.

British Group Nominees: Alt-J, Mumford and Sons, Muse, One Direction, The xx. The group category is, sadly, dominated by men this year (with the exception of The xx’s Romy Madley Croft). Little Mix and Stooshe enjoyed some success this year, but not on the same scale as One Direction. This is Muse’s fourth time being nominated in this category so it would be nice to see them pick up the Brit instead of Mumford & Sons, who probably have enough variations on the same banjo riff to keep them on the singles charts for another year or two.

British Live Act Nominees: The Rolling Stones, Coldplay, Mumford & Sons, Muse, The Vaccines. This should be simple. The Rolling Stones have never won a Brit award, for God’s sake, and are clearly the best live act because they’ve been performing for longer than most of the other nominees have been alive.

International Group Global Success Nominees: Adele, Mumford & Sons, One Direction.

Nominees: Alabama Shakes, The Script, FUN., The Killers, The Black Keys.

Given the fact that Adele has had a huge fanbase in the US and the world over for the past three years at least, she probably deserves to be the first to win this award. She has, after all, won eight Grammies and a Golden Globe. And having been told to shut up at last year’s ceremony, the good people at the Brits might see giving her this special new prize as an attempt to get back into her good books.

Maroon 5 are, surprisingly, not nominees this year, but we can’t sympathise too much in Ireland because The Script are doing us proud, as they are the only band not from America nominated in this category. The Dublin boys are in with a fighting chance, having sold out their UK arena tour and had their single ‘Hall of Fame’ in the UK Top Ten for two consecutive months. The superbly funky Alabama Shakes could stand between the Script and the Brit, though, in which case we can all just indignantly insist that Danny and the lads wouldn’t have wanted a silly British figurine anyway.

International Male Solo Artist International Female Solo Artist

Nominees: Bruce Springsteen, Frank Ocean, Gotye, Jack White, Michael Bublé.

Nominees: Alicia Keys, Cat Power, Lana del Rey, Rihanna, Taylor Swift.

It will be a crime if Jack White doesn’t win Best International Male, but music award ceremonies can often end up crime scenes. Gotye surely doesn’t deserve to win Best International male on account of that one song; neither does Michael Bublé because he hasn’t released any music apart from Christmas songs in 2012. That leaves The Boss and Frank Ocean, neither of whom produced as impressive an album as White’s Blunderbuss.

Cat Power is a refreshing choice for this category, with her first album of original material in six years earning her a second Brit nomination. Rihanna is no stranger to old Blighty, having performed twice on last year’s X Factor as well as touring her new album there. Lana del Rey might provide some stiff competition, though, as her dreamy style and moany vocals brought something new to listeners on this side of the Atlantic that might have reminded them of their shoegazing days.

The Brit Awards will be broadcast live on ITV1 at 8pm on the 20th of February. Images: Brits.co.uk, Capitol Records, Third Man Records, Polydor, eonline.com.

REVIEWS More or Less Miserable

Martha Hegarty reviews the Oscar favourite.

Even if you haven’t been one of the 51 million people (like, everyone in Ireland and then some) who hotfooted it to a theatre over the past 28 years, you’ll be familiar with the musical which spans the trials, tribulations and brief triumphs of its varied characters against the backdrop of young revolutionaries raging against the machine. Those unfamiliar with even that much detail will have encountered Les Misérables in their cultural consciousness through the infamous poster of a young Cosette against the French colours: hair blowing in the wind like the oncoming change. When Tom Hooper decided to take the reins of the film adaptation in 2011, it was impossible not to connect the cash cow that is the ensemble cast of this movie musical as well as popularity of Susan Boyle’s ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ to this film’s formation. On paper, it seemed a little predictable. So what’s different about it? Well, it’s not quite ‘Just Another Teen Musical’. After the adrenaline rush of the opening’s ‘Look Down’, Les Mis swoops through two decades of vibrant characters that are made all the more colourful through the use of live singing over dubbed recording as well as some proficient acting. Hugh Jackman, while at times bringing Jean Valjean into Bang rather than Whisper territory, does a grand job, as well as the stage actress Samantha Barks as Eponine. It’s sort of incredible that, given its effectiveness, live singing hasn’t been done before; although it’s a risk, it loosens the boundaries you sense in a movie musical as well as heightening the character’s presences in general. Despite this highly effective framework, some elements fall flat. Helena Bonham-Carter might be a little too Mrs Lovett for some people’s tastes while Cosette sadly remains two-dimensional as the plot’s most fragile character without her vocalisation of lifelong pain and confusion when she confronts Valjean’s secrecy. Perhaps the film’s biggest failing is Javert. He and his counterpart, Valjean, are the musical’s opposing forces, the magnets around which the plot orbits. A lot like Harry and Voldemort, neither can live while the other survives, and this almost fateful bond is a fascinating one which not only lends symmetry to the plot but gives it a familiar emotional centre in the midst of an array of other characters. The fact the former of these magnets is a monotonous, passionless hat mannequin renders the central pursuit a slightly hollow and puzzling affair; for a musical that’s essentially about asserting identity, Javert is never fleshed out to his true potential. Instead of being a flawed but sympathetic character, he remains a flat cardboard cutout in the form of droning Gladiator Russell Crowe, void of the passion and principles you can understand as the character’s motivation.

The Thénardiers, though far more stylised than their stage correspondents thanks to a few pounds of white powder and frayed costume velvet, manage to supply some much-needed comic relief while evoking a sense of the lost grandeur and cunning desperation required to survive. ‘Master of the House’ is brought to life both by the slapstick elegance of the ridiculously spindly Sacha Baron Cohen and by the swooping, diving camerawork which jeers and veers along with the stumbles and stamps of its subjects. It’s not often that you actually notice a film’s camerawork – often it’s an invisible but necessary ingredient like lighting in a play or a background soundtrack. Maybe it’s because I’m a Les Mis outsider or maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for velvet, but the brilliantly

choreographed con which translates the Thénardiers’ clockwork routine into a real life dance made this number my favourite. As for ‘I Dreamed A Dream’, Anne Hathaway knocks it out of the park – the 80s-feel-cruise-ship-clichéd-singer park, specifically. So much has been said about this song in general so I’m just gonna keep this short and sweet, unlike Fantine’s hair (pow!). Anne Hathaway takes it away from the film’s scale – in every sense of the word – and into the corner of the frame in which she delivers what feels more like a spontaneous soliloquy in which she realises every line as it comes, rather than a famous number which verges on cliché. With nothing more than naked shoulders and a bruised face that’s as worn and telling as a Lucien Freud painting, you see every flicker and every subtle grimace before being swept away with the onslaught of tears that are timed to a T. ‘The world was a song’, but the present day is one that’s filled with as much poignancy and weathered integrity as Hathaway’s performance. It’s a performance which meshes the acting skills typical to a movie actor with the vocal dexterity of a West End one – sadly a balance which is only totally attained once. Ultimately it’s an adaptation that positions story over score and scale over sincerity. Although it’s entertaining with indisputable energy and the striking innovation of live singing, it will always be trumped by its stage origins. It’s mostly the legacy the title Les Misérables already holds which will prevent this film from falling into the pit of other movie-musical ephemera.

Images: Universal Pictures, Vogue.

Rating

The Importance of Being Earnest Tamara Malone reviews the Oscar Wilde play. We all know of the wit of Oscar Wilde, the man who famously stated, ‘The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.’ The searing wit of the legendary writer is at its most apparent in The Importance of Being Earnest, a comedic landmark in the parody of Victorian ideals and society. The play unfolds as the narrative of two central male characters, Algernon Moncrieff and Jack Worthing, both pretending to be the same invented man – Ernest – in order to persuade the women they love , both of whom are fanatically interested in marrying ‘some one whose name was Ernest’, to marry them. Though Wilde is infamous for his promotion of Aestheticism, the movement which proclaimed that art should be valued for beauty as opposed to any critique of social issues, it is apparent from the synopsis alone that Wilde is commenting rather successfully on the superficiality of such a society. The women desire men who have quite apparent faults, as well as quite glaring dishonesty, and judge on the name of a man alone his superior character – specifically, his ‘earnest’-ness. Such superficiality can be seen in this production of the play, in particular in a focus on flowers: two or three very large and prominent flower designs decorate the wall at the back of the stage – the only decoration to do so – and at the encore, pink rose petals fall from the ceiling. The costume design is charming and flawless, and set design is minimal but utilised in an impressive way. Several chairs are the main focus, and are either pushed forward for characters to sit on, or pulled back when characters stand or leave, by servants Merriman and the witty Lane – both played by Richard Stemp – to clearly demonstrate which of the characters is holding the dominant position at that particular moment. This is palpable to the audience when Merriman labours to push chairs forward, only to drag them back when discovering the character (in a chilling voice) would rather stand, or wouldn’t stay long. The acting throughout was impressive. The obvious star of the show is Harry Livingstone, playing Algernon, the trope, witty and sarcastic Wildean male. With a wicked whimsicality, Livingstone nailed the part. Paul Sandys’ portrayal of Jack is interesting as it takes Jack down a notch or two, presenting him as slightly whiny and somewhat socially awkward. Carmen Rodriguez gives a fantastic performance as the austere Lady Bracknell, and Helen Keeley, in her first professional role, does a superb job as her daughter Gwendolen. Felicity Houlbrooke as Cecily plays the woman coming-of-age in an energetic and

lively fashion. When one reads the text, the women seem very similar to one another, but it must be remarked that costume design here is to be lauded for differentiating and individualising them. The actor for Miss Prism, Fair City’s Laoisha O’Callaghan, surprised by giving the character an Irish accent – fascinating in what this says about Irish and British class relations at the time (the character in question being a governess). It must be said, however, that out of an exquisite cast, O’Callaghan may be the weak link due to what seemed hyperbolic over-acting. Peter Cadden as Rev. Canon Chasuble gave a top-notch performance and Richard Stemp, in playing two characters, put on a good showing. London Classic Theatre has numerous other performances lined up in their Ireland and UK Tour, all of which can be found on their website. If in the vicinity during one of these shows, this writer ‘earnestly’ implores potential spectators to attend – as one of the defining comedies of the fin de siècle and heralding in the new age of Edwardian writers, this is a show not to be missed. Rating: Images: London Classic Theatre.

A Skull in Connemara – Get Ready Tommy Tobin reviews the Irish play. The transformation is aided by Owen McCarthaigh’s dark, gloomy set-design that captures a wind-swept, rugged small village atmosphere where the whispering winds is heavy with the cold breeze and the heated whispers surrounding the mysterious death of Dowd’s wife more than seven years prior.

Brace yourself and don’t sit up front – you’re in for a ride. Decadent Theatre’s production of A Skull in Connemara is a smashing dark romp set in a small community in Connemara. This dark comedy is entertaining, hilarious in parts, and could certainly be part of an enjoyable evening – especially with the Everyman Theatre’s student pricing. Even if you don’t get some of the play’s references to the thrills of the bumpy slide at Galway’s Leisureland, the play would make for memorable date night to be sure. Our story follows Mick Dowd (John Olohan), who is tasked with the unenviable job of exhuming bodies from the local cemetery to make new for the field’s newly deceased residents. What follows is a tale of loss, mistrust, rumour, and intrigue paired with lovely examples of slagging, banter and false praise as Dowd must dig up his late wife’s grave. Having died under murky circumstances, Dowd must enlist a Garda, Thomas Hanlon, to watch him dig up his wife’s remains. Accompanying him in the task is young Mairtin, Thomas’ younger brother. This ne’er-do-well excels at making big trouble in this small town. All the while, Maryjohnny Rafferty, played by famed Irishlanguage actress Bríd Ní Neachtain, makes frequent visits to Dowd’s residents for a nip of poitín. The banter between the play’s elder characters is exquisite, with Olohan and Ni Neachtain putting in great performances as they bring the town’s intrigue to light. Listening to them talk is like being transported to another world.

The play is enjoyable, but it is not without flaws – though laughout-loud funny in many parts, it seems a bit disjointed. The first act follows a narrative structure, setting up a mystery, while the second sets about quickly – too quickly – to unravel it. At one point, drunken madness ensues on stage with mallets. For your own good, don’t sit too close to the stage as pieces from the stage fly about during the performance. The characters seemed too far removed here – too far in to the madness – and the scene dragged on a bit. To close, we have a less than convincing ambiguous ending – challenging the audience to think, but not too much. Overall, A Skull in Connemara is worth the price of admission for a classy evening or a date night at the theatre, especially with the Everyman Palace Theatre’s student pricing. Rating When: Tuesday 19th to Saturday 23rd March, 8pm. Where: Everyman Palace Theatre, Cork City. Tickets: €20; €18 concession; €15 on opening night; €9 student rate (Tuesday and Wednesday). ge: Decadent Theatre.

scenes are not for the faint of heart and Washington is excellent in the moment as he calmly flies upside down, before turning and gliding to a crash landing. Whitaker’s actions manage to save most of the passengers and only six do indeed die, which leads to the media hailing him as a hero. After the crash, Whip attempts to quit drinking and empties his grandfather’s house where he flees to hide from the media. He attempts an AA meeting with a lady he met at the hospital but ultimately decides it is not for him. Whip is informed that blood tests taken after the crash show he was flying drunk, and, with a possible court case, that could send him to jail for life.

Flight

Gary McKeating takes a look at Denzel Washington’s new endeavour.

Whip’s journey after the crash is one filled with anguish and suffering as he desperately tries to avoid jail but inevitably succumbs to his addiction to alcohol. Whip’s effort to form a relationship with the lady from the hospital and his attempts to see his ex-wife and child are all ruined by his alcohol addiction. It is a harrowing experience to watch and Washington portrays the pain and suffering of addiction in the most mesmerising of ways.

Denzel Washington’s performance as Whip Whitaker is one of the finest of his career. In Robert Zemeckis’ Flight he portrays a man whose life and soul is torn apart by his addiction to alcohol and drugs. Washington is phenomenal in the lead role and delivers a tortured performance that could possibly land him his second Best Actor award at this year’s Academy Awards. The film shows Whip to be a high-end functioning addict who has established a tolerance for his addictions which allows him to continue to work as a pilot. In the opening scene, Whip takes alcohol and lines of cocaine before reporting to work. What follows is one of the most terrifying flight scenes I’ve ever seen as Zemeckis manages to capture the truly horrific nature of a plane crash and the carnage that comes with it. Zemeckis’ vision of the plane crash is something to behold. The director builds the tension to the crash in masterful form as Whip navigates them safely through a take-off filled with horrendous turbulence. The tension is there: it’s simmering and the audience knows the crash is coming but Zemeckis plays with them before delivering a cabin filled with terror and nauseating sequences while Whip attempts to save them from an uncontrollable nosedive by inverting the plane. The

Flight’s success is based very much on the portrayal of the struggle of addiction and Washington’s brilliant performance carries the movie right through to the credits, but the soundtrack by Alan Silvestri is dark and gritty and helps the film expand its topics and scenes; the scene where John Goodman arrives to see Whip after the crash while The Rolling Stones’ ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ is playing in the background is perfectly fitting. Flight is nearly perfect and the cast are magnificent throughout. Washington steals the show with his compelling performance as a man battling addiction and Zemeckis delivers a story filled with the dark side of life that is very much worth watching.

Rating

Features

Fire in the Belly!

Want to take part in something cool this Thursday, from the comfort of your own back garden, and possibly as part of your pre-drinking ritual? Mae McSweeney urges you to read on. If you happen to be out and about in Cork this Thursday the 21st of February, expect to witness a very special spectacle indeed. You should see the skies gradually fill with glowing spheres of light, bobSometimes it can be hard to motivate ourselves to get involved in bing softly above the spires and towers of our city, before slowly floatbig group projects like this – it’s easy to say, ‘Aww, but it’s probably ing off into the distance. going to rain’, or ‘I’ll feel really stupid if no one else does it in the end’. But in this case, you have a lot more to gain than you have This is the brain child of locals Dan Coughlan and Shane O’Donovan. to lose! In the worst case scenario, the weather is bad – you’ve Through Facebook, they have organised a public event, ‘Fire in the spent €1.50 on a sky lantern. That’s less than a standard city bus Belly’, and aim to get as many people as possible to click ‘attending’. fare. Best case scenario – countless celestial orbs dancing above According to Dan, there is no deep, meaningful reason behind the Cork on an otherwise boring night in February! I’m not a betting project – ‘We just thought it would be an amazing thing to see, and to woman, but I call those good odds. be a part of; everybody sending happy vibes into the sky at the same time’. At a time when even bright young things like us student-folk are So, in short: weighed down by financial and societal worries, Fire in the Belly is an innovative, grass-roots attempt to help Corkonians blow off a little • When? - This Thursday, February 21, at 9 pm – neatly steam, and maybe watch some of their worries literally float away in coinciding with your pre-drinking schedule. the night. It shouldn’t break the bank either: sky lanterns are relatively inexpensive. They are available for €1.50 from Oriental Treasures on Oliver Plunkett Street, found between Istanbul and Daly’s Opticians. The directions are simple: to participate, you must buy one of these lanterns, or any kind of sky lantern you like. Stand outside in your garden, on the street, on a rooftop alone or with friends – whatever you like! At exactly 9 pm, light your sky lantern and release it into the air. Weather permitting, you should be able to watch as it climbs higher and higher into the sky, and if enough people join in, you should see it joined by dozens (or even hundreds!) of sister sky lanterns, all merrily bobbing about in the atmosphere like a party of papery, fiery jellyfish. Wouldn’t that be lovely!

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Where? – Anywhere in Cork city!

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What? – A paper sky lantern costing €1.50.

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Who? – You and all your friends.

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How? – Search ‘Fire in the Belly’ on Facebook, click ‘attending’ on the event page.

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Why? – Why not?

Looking forward to seeing your lanterns on the night!

One Out Of Four Ain’t Bad!

Hannah Higgins tires to get to grips with that mysterious and elusive date, February 29th. ‘30 days has September, April, June and November. All the rest has 31, except for February alone which has 28 days clear and 29 in each Leap Year.’ For the 0.068% of you born on February 29th, you should probably already know that your birthday doesn’t exist this year. Or the year after. Or the year after that. For you 0.068% (often referred to as Leapers), this is your badge of honour. Indeed, you Leapers can be heard boasting of your youthfulness, having only had five ‘real’ birthdays, and are therefore only 5 years old. It’s almost as trivial as saying your dog is 37 in dog years. I’m just not buying into that kind of spurious logic. It can be said that your birthday is like that distant relative who goes off the radar, only to return with much fanfare for certain functions and dos, only to routinely disappear again. Why is your birthday the screwball uncle of your personal calendar? Let’s look at the science bit: it takes the Earth 365.245 days (that’s 365 days, 5 hours, 49 minutes, and 16 seconds) to circle around the Sun. Annoyingly, this solar year doesn’t quite match up with our Gregorian calendar year. Though the difference is only a couple of hours, were we to forgo this extra day every four years, things would get very messy altogether. So much so that in just 100 years the calendar year would be off by about 24 days! To make things even more complicated, the surplus hours left over from four standard years don’t quite add up to a full 24-hour day. This is compensated for by omitting three Leap Days every 400 years. But fear not, Leapers – this won’t happen again until 2100. Of course, one cannot write an article about Leap Years without making reference to that bizarre Irish tradition associated with it: women proposing to men on a Leap Day. This tradition used to extend for an entire Leap Year, but I assume that men found 12 entire months of living in constant

fear of commitment a wee bit traumatising. As a new twist on an old classic, I think we should shift this day to April 1st. That way, if you get shot down, you can always fall back on the old, ‘Gotcha! You should have seen your face…’ routine. However, should your beloved indeed reject you, remember to take comfort in the knowledge that this tradition takes your feelings into great consideration. He can’t just walk away. Oh no. According to tradition, and as confirmed by my thorough research (i.e. a speedy Google search), the rejecter must first buy the rejectee 12 pairs of gloves, so you may hide your bare ring finger in style! Talk about a silver lining, eh ladies? If you find yourself looking for valid reasons to avoid that looming assignment, why not see what we’re missing this year and check out some Leap Day related TV and films? If you can stomach the typical Hollywood’s interpretation of Irish culture, then give the ingeniously titled Leap Year a try, and prepare to be subjected to 100 minutes of startled cries of ‘Be-gorrah!’ and depictions of village idiots drunkenly driving clapped-out vans down Connemara by-roads. Or if, like me, you are a fan of Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy, check out his ‘Bonus Day’ theory. I can’t help but be sceptical of Leap Year traditions and nuances. It is really nothing more than a solution to a mathematical problem, and, try as I might, it’s just too difficult to romanticise. Perhaps instead, they could give us an extra hour in bed a few nights of the year. As a part-time student/semi-professional napper, I would certainly appreciate that. Images: relativityonline.com, Wikimedia Commons.

Illegitimately Legit Mae McSweeney takes a look at some of the most glorious bastards of all time. show, Perón’s impoverished background allowed her to credibly show solidarity with the Socialist policies of her husband, and her rhetoric-laden broadcasts were a vital part of his successful 1964 Presidential campaign.

Leonardo da Vinci If certain family value groups got wind of this, we could expect to see a retrospective campaign against one of the main characters of Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles. In all seriousness, he definitely was a bastard: born out of wedlock to a middleclass gentleman and local peasant girl, this quintessential Renaissance man was denied entrance to university, and did not have the privilege of the Humanist education which was afforded to his peers. Yet, by the virtue of his phenomenal genius, and frankly ridiculous array of talents (painting, sculpting, architecture, music, mathematics, engineering, anatomy, cartography, botany and writer all came naturally to Leo), he was rightly thought of as one of the most creative and brilliant men of a particularly creative and brilliant era.

The legacy of ‘Evita’ is a controversial topic for many people outside of Latin America. One can argue that she flaunted her beauty to get what she wanted, using powerful men to grow her prestige and popularity. There is evidence of her corruption, and her reputedly cosy dealings with Nazi war criminals in the 1950s. Yet, Evita has been credited with advancing the cause of female suffrage in Argentina, which lends her a bit of feminist clout to her gold-digger reputation. In her lifetime, she was thought of as a saint; through her charitable foundations, she reached out to the lepers and the syphilitic, kissing and touching them. It is said that throughout Latin America, she is the only woman to have aroused such emotions of devotion and faith as the Virgin of Guadalupe. In many homes, a portrait of Evita, her blonde hair around her benevolent face like a halo, is displayed beside a picture of the Virgin Mary. Not bad for an illegitimate house cook from Las Pampas.

Best buddies with the Pope and Florentine man-about-town Lorenzo di Medici, da Vinci retired with a comfortable pension of 10,000 scudi – I’ve tried in vain to find an approximate value for this is in Euro, but the Wikipedia article gave off the vibe that this was a fairly cushy sum. This generous pocket money was provided by the King of France, who carried him back from Italy like a war trophy, and reportedly cradled his head as he died. Endearing? Creepy? Whatever your verdict, it’s clear that this was one popular dude.

Steve Jobs Adopted at birth by Paul and Clara Jobs, Steve Job’s biological parents were two university students. The pair had no choice at the time but to put the infant up for adoption, because his father’s Arabic family did not approve of his Catholic mother. Interestingly, they did marry later that year, and had a second child, the novelist Mona Simpson (no relation to Homer Simpson’s mom).

Even now, over 500 years on, the world still has a massive man-crush on Leonardo da Vinci. In fact, that other great Leonardo d’something, Leo DiCaprio, can attribute his namesake to way back before he was even born, when his mam was inspired by some paintings in an Italian museum.

To be fair, Jobs didn’t have to contend with the same social, religious and economic barriers which were imposed on Perón and da Vinci. Growing up in 1960s San Francisco and attending Liberal Arts college in Portland, Oregon meant that Jobs was exposed to a fortunately forgiving environment, which ultimately fostered his outside-the-box approach to design and innovation. I’m not a massive Apple-geek myself, and there’s been a fair amount of backlash against Jobs since his death last year, but he did invent the iPhone. Cut him some slack!

Eva Perón The only eligible bastardette on this list, Maria Eva Duarte de Perón served as the First Lady of Socialist Argentina from 1946 until her death in 1952. Born of an adulterous relationship between a wealthy rancher and a local peasant woman, Eva bitterly recalled the humiliation of her father’s funeral when she and her family were quickly escorted out of the church after paying their respects. As an adult, Perón destroyed her original birth certificate, which exposed her illegitimacy by listing her name as ‘Eva Maria Ibarguren’, her mother’s surname. She then forged a new document under her father’s surname (Duarte), and using this certificate to marry President Juan Perón.

So that concludes my ode to all those who struggled with discrimination, simply because Dad didn’t put a ring on it. Next time you find yourself using the term ‘bastard’ in a derogatory sense – hold up. Being a bastard never really was a great personal failing in an individual, so use your imagination. Below is one of my favourite cinematic insults, which I hope will inspire you in all your bad-mouthing cussery.

After Duarte abandoned his illegitimate offspring, the family were forced to take up work as cooks in the mansions of local ranchers. At the age of 15, she ran away to Buenos Aires, the ‘Paris of South America’, to pursue a career as an actress, where her beauty and charm won her many admirers. Prior to meeting Colonel Juan Perón in 1944, Eva had little interest in politics. At 48, he was literally twice her age, and set about educating her, creating a ‘second I’. As host of a popular radio

‘How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!’ – Alex, A Clockwork Orange. Images: madame.lefigaro.fr, Ecopedia.

‘Who Runs This Mother?’ Senita Appiakorang investigates the question on everyone’s mind: is Beyonce Carter Knowles working for Lucifer? Or does she just really like triangles? Read on, if you dare… Having just recovered from a global scorning following her lip -synced rendition of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’, Mrs Carter (nèe Beyonce Knowles) has once again fallen from grace as bloggers and journalists accuse her of playing devil’s advocate – quite literally. During her performance at the Superbowl, enthusiastic fans witnessed her display the triangular hand gesture, synonymous with the Illuminati clan, and this sent Twitter into frenzy, with worried Tweeters discussing her brazen representation of the sect. Lest you seem to have fallen into the crevice of ignorant bliss concerning all matters Illuminati-related, allow me to brief you through their beliefs and behavioural patterns.

Exhibit C: The frequent use of the triangular symbol adopted by Jay-Z stands for his record label, Roc-A-Fella. Coincidentally, one can interpret the triangular hand gesture as standing for the ‘all seeing eye’; the Illuminati’s supposedly omniscient presence. Since their marriage, Beyonce has started to display this symbol in concerts, and when out with Jay-Z. She has furthermore increased her use of Illuminati iconography in her third, and possibly most successful solo album, I Am… Sasha Fierce. The title alone has fallen subject to many debates of how heavily steeped she is in this alter ego, Sasha Fierce – an audacious, domineering and enchanting persona she acquires in performance mode, before returning to her true humble and wholesome self again, Beyonce. Is Sasha Fierce an Illuminati demon possessing the mortal body of our lovely Bey, adorning her body with symbols of triangles and images Baphomet, the goat-demon typically portrayed in a Satanic pentagram? Some have decoded the name of the power couple’s first-born as a tribute to the Satanic force which has driven their success: world, let me introduce you to Blue Ivy – Born Living Under Evil, Illuminati’s Very Youngest. SEE?!

The Illuminati are a group of people claiming to have acquired an exclusive knowledge, or ‘enlightenment’ about to the future of the world. Initiated in 1776 as a secret sect by the Jesuit-taught Adam Weishaupt, and a handful of highly commendable comrades in Bavaria, they believed themselves to be ‘perfectibilists and exemplary in their field’, and felt the world should follow suit. Operating as secret Satanic-like force, ready to eliminate the weakest links in society to create a ‘New Order’ of society, they worked hard to maintain anonymity, and prevail in maintaining stature, prosperity, education and that je-ne –sais-quoi that separated them from the lay man, who gazed into his empty can of Bav for the answers to life’s mysteries. In any case, the internet is awash with rumours of popular and well-regarded figures using the Illuminati as a vessel for their evil intent, including music industry moguls Jay-Z , Beyonce, Kanye West, Lady Gaga and many more high profile celebrities. So, basically, we are all in jeopardy of mind infiltration, succumbing to the powers of Satan, leading to our eventual demise! Let’s assess Beyonce’s history of dodgy dealings with the Devil for just a second.

I’ll leave it to you to decide if this is all mere circumstance and coincidence, or if Beyonce really is a Satan-loving harlot hell-bent on world domination and destruction. Either way, I think we can all agree that girl is fabulous. See you in The O2 in May! Images: Columbia, gawkerassets.com, NBC. Exhibit A: Observe: Beyonce at the prime of her wholesome Destiny’s Child days – a time of female independence, sass and self-discovery. Faithful to the name with which she and her girlfriends were ordained, their image was fun, sassy and sexy, yet innocent and pure. Exhibit B: The newly solo Beyonce had undergone some kind of voodoo-like reincarnation, amalgamating her old lady-like self with another entity. This new Bey is feisty, ‘crazy’, very sexy and a bit intimidating. Recognise that at this point she is speculated to be dating Jay-Z, who features in her first single, ‘Crazy in Love’, and he is believed to be ring-leader of this modern celebrity Illuminati - a mere coincidence, or a milestone on her journey to the sacrifice of her soul? Is Jay-Z really just a successful and charming suitor, or is he acting as interlocutor between Knowles and the Dark Lord, etc.?

Behind the Scenes: SU Elections Eoghan Dalton delves into the deep, dark underbelly of canvassing and discovers that things are surprisingly civil… The student elections are fast approaching, and with them will come the usual tell-tale signs of a college election: candidates conducting meet-and-greets outside lectures, canvassers with Disney smiles and a prize goat for every vote (this is how I imagine the Healy-Rae’s sustain their continued success). It’s that middle occurrence that may concern most people as they manage their business. Essentially a chugger (you know, those yellow-jacked Concern people on Paul Street) without the moral high ground, canvassers must still gain the attention of potential voters. Unfortunately, this being a student election, they need to attract that most apathetic voter: the student. However, they have ways to make you vote, these pesky canvassers. Well, they kind of do. David McCarthy is a veteran of two successful campaigns for Eoghan Healy, the former Communications and Commercial Officer and current Students’ Union President. He explained how there was little to no brash canvassing: ‘We’d make it our business not to piss people off. Rather we’d just try and make people aware of Eoghan Healy, and a small few would come over and ask us about his policies. Any people we talked to were given stickers with Eoghan’s name on it, which helped to promote him and also made sure we wouldn’t bother that person again since we could see the sticker’. A simple enough task then, although I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to the process. Surely there are more methods to acquire the students’ attention? ‘Videos are made, which show people saying who they’ll vote for, and some humour is usually included to make it a better watch. Profile photos on Facebook are changed to the campaign poster – it was all part of raising awareness of Eoghan and his campaign’, David continues, ‘We always tried to use houses that are geographically important, like the ones by Daybreak (on College Road). We’d hang banners outside those houses and we’d have reps posted outside Brookfield, the college gates and outside the library on the main campus.’

of their time to campaigning. Like, some people have to start at seven or eight in the morning, and it can get very boring very quickly unless you try to keep yourself active while representing the campaign. A good few of us used to do cart wheels, and even just knocked a football around; it helped keep us going and drew in attention, so it killed two birds that way’. Much of the campaigning appears to focus on gaining the eye of students and getting the candidate’s name to stick in their mind. When it comes to the actual policies being publicised, this was generally left to the candidates themselves to promote. As another anonymous canvasser explains, while the campaign reps do answer voters’ questions, ‘the candidate running generally goes to the busiest lectures and talks to the people attending them. I ran on Eoghan Healy’s (campaign) last year and he tended to try and get in one-on-ones with inquisitive students.’ Was this the most important thing in Healy’s victory? ‘Well, it’s hard to say. To be honest, only a small fraction of the students vote. So, really, I think it’s the person with the biggest campaign who is going to win, and last year that was the case. Eoghan is a very popular guy so he was able to count on a lot of help from his friends, which worked out’. This comes through when David confirms that his main reason for canvassing was to ‘help out a friend, as well as for the life experience involved’. This of course sounds similar to a popularity contest, which my interviewee was quick to correct; ‘In fairness to Eoghan, he was always very serious about the job and that came through whenever he spoke about it to voters and to us helping him. He wasn’t there for a session, if you know what I mean.’

Besides providing students with an idea of what routes to avoid during election season, I wondered that surely there must be more that can be done to draw in voters. This is where David revealed his hidden talent as a human megaphone: ‘I used to drive up along College Road in the daytime, shouting out Eoghan’s name. I’d try to include slogans and hopefully witty quotes too; it was a bit of fun and again helped to keep Eoghan’s name in peoples’ minds.’ So far it all seems restrained, with little extravagance. I recall hearing about a wealthy Welfare candidate holding an expensive bash to garner votes from a few years ago, and how this turns out to be false. As another former canvasser (who preferred to remain anonymous) disclosed, there is a limit on how much can be spent on a campaign. ’There’s a maximum budget of five hundred Euro, so it’s really a volunteer thing. Anyone who signs up to help out has to devote a lot

Despite it being an election, there is little of the mudslinging we see from the elders in Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil. In fact, it seems almost respectable. Guess we’ll just have to wait for the students to mature. Images: psdgraphics.com.

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The Art of Pandering It’s almost time for this year’s Students’ Union elections and the atmosphere is electric around campus – if you’re running, that is. Kieran Murphy gives potential SU candidates his top tips on reaching the silent majority. Very few people realise that the Students’ Union elections are even happening until some commerce students try dragging them to the Boole to vote, and, scarily enough, there are some people who don’t even know who the current SU Officers are. Last year, voter turnout stood at a miserable 23%, meaning that there are about 3776 hacks in UCC – that is, people who can’t say no to a flyer. Sure, democracy is great and all, but the easiest way to get your message across is to just pander – to the lowest common denominator, if needs be.

Free Stuff While it doesn’t really need to be said, I’m going to say it anyway: students love free stuff. They are also adept at finding innovative uses for typical giveaway paraphernalia - a copy of The Irish Times (used to clean up vomit), packets of Oxtail soup (used as a tequila chaser), and lockers full of lollipops (just because). The SU candidate who actually gives out some worthwhile stuff is destined to win. Take, for instance, custom printed condoms: your face, on a condom. It’s genius, and not as expensive as you’d think, with 500 condoms going for €500. Asides from campaign material, it could also be a wedding present to a very lucky couple. While the condoms will probably never be used as intended (the sight of your cheerily oblivious mug might kill the moment), you can be confident that your name will be associated with the hours of fun students will have, filling them with water, and dropping them from the windows of the O’Rahilly Building.

Be Good-Looking We’ll have to look at your face for a whole year – you could at least give us something nice to look at.

Be Honest Voters who were once fresh-faced and enthusiastic can end up feeling disillusioned with the political process. They are faced with candidates who are insincere, and are usually never seen again until it’s been revealed they’ve been putting their Nando’s habit on their expense report – so why not just be honest? There’s no need to pretend you’re not politically aligned – we all saw your profile photo with Enda Kenny. Are you a careerist and just want to advance your social ranking? No problem, that’s what the SU is there for, so help us help you, and just admit it. The 12,506 silent students on campus will appreciate you so much more for it.

Best of luck to this year’s candidates – and may the best condomwrapper mascot win! Images: Kieran Murphy, christogenea.org ,dvorak.org.

Cute Animals People adopt animals for many reasons, such as love and companionship, and as a way to chat up ladies in the park - their usage in SU elections should be no different. Election candidates in The Real World kiss babies to soften their image, but since UCC has yet to implement a Bring- Your-Child-To-Lectures-Day, you can always make do with a cute animal or two. Just imagine the queues to pet a giant St Bernard, or to wrestle a bear. For a particularly adventurous SU candidate, or anyone with something against PETA, asking a lecturer to make an announcement with a boa constrictor (à la Britney Spears at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards) is also an option.

Toilet Graffiti I’m not in a position to talk about state of the ladies’ toilets in UCC, but I can confirm that the mens’ are a disgrace. With lists of the top nightclubs for ‘dorty beours’, and everyone from Anto to Deco coming out as gay, I’m sure many of us have memorised the scrawling on the wall, while hiding from study in the cubicles. So why doesn’t an SU candidate take advantage of this prime advertising space and get their message out there? Possible slogans could include: ‘Finding it a bit tough? I’ll help you push it through’. As part of a sustained and cohesive cubicle campaign, the savvy candidate could opt for something along the lines of: ‘Vote Murphy #1’, ‘Vote Murphy #1, and I’ll get Andrex toilet paper in this stall’, and, finally, ‘Vote Murphy #1, and I’ll clean the graffiti off this toilet’. The possibilities are endless, but be warned: if you decide to put your poster up in toilet cubicles, willies will be most certainly be drawn near/on your face.

by Ciara Kenny

A Story to Tell By Laurie Laurelle – Till Dread Do Us Part Laura O’Donovan examines the world of dreadlocks with a fine tooth comb. I have never been good with hair. I just can’t seem to work it. Having gone fully grey at the age of 15, I have experimented with many different colours. However, I’ve never had the confidence to do anything drastic with the shape of my hair. I don’t believe that I have the patience to pull off funky cuts that involve a certain amount of work. I’m the kind of person to wake up twenty minutes before my lecture, dash into the shower, and arrive into class with wet hair. I know it’s not a great look, but sleep has always been extremely precious to me. Although I don’t put enormous effort into my own appearance, I love admiring other people’s features and imperfections. I am most definitely not subtle about it either. I seem to find beauty in everyone and am not afraid of telling them. This has often caused awkward moments amongst strangers and acquaintances. But I’ll never stop – it’s just the way I am. If I think something is beautiful, I can’t hold it in. I love looking at hair. I love that everyone’s hair is different. I love how a colour and cut can transform a face and I love how everybody’s hair has a particular texture, so when I was asked to write about dreadlocks, I wasn’t in any way intimidated. It’s been kind of exciting looking up different aspects of dreadlocks, because I’ve secretly wanted dreads for years. I laughed as I read the first line of the Wikipedia page ‘Dreadlocks are usually intentionally formed’, as I have a little dreadlock story of my own – and by little, I mean about three inches long! Last summer, my boyfriend and I saved up to go to Legoland, and stay in the resort hotel. I remember sulking in my chair watching the kids bounce around with their braids. I totally wanted one but was too embarrassed to actually admit it. Thankfully, Sean can read me like a computer textbook, and when I left the room for a few moments, he booked a session with the resident hair braider. Being the girl that I am, I kicked up a fuss and lovingly killed him. I chose my three colours and off she went! Oh man, did I love my braid. I was the only one over the age of 10 to sport one, but, in my eyes, I was the grooviest chick in Funky Town. I loved it so much that I kept it in for months. To be honest, towards the end I was terrified to see what was underneath it. When it comes to hair, avoidance is generally my go-to strategy. I finally plucked up the courage to unravel it last month down in my boyfriend’s family home. It isn’t every Sunday a family gets to gather around the table and carefully watch Laura’s matted hair emerge from a cocoon of threads, and I’m not exaggerating when I say it was matted. I had a full-on dread – a tiny one, but a dread none the less. As I had formed this dread by the ‘neglect method’, the resulting shape was rather off-putting, so I used a tiny comb, smothered in conditioner, and the hair was back to normal within the hour. It certainly didn’t put me

off dreadlocks or braids. All of the fears and assumptions I had were unjustified. It didn’t smell, my hair didn’t die, I didn’t have to cut it off, and there was no family of insects residing in it. I think my first braid/ dread was quite successful. I would definitely recommend those that are thinking of braids/ dreads to start off with just one. It is far less daunting to test the waters with one dread rather than a full head of dreads. I have been frequenting blogs and forums to educate myself, and found loads of helpful resources online. There are also many beautiful and interesting photos of people with dreads – so much so that I found it incredibly difficult to choose the most appropriate pictures for this article. Have a look online and see what kind of style you like the most. You might like the shape of one person’s dreads, and maybe the colour of somebody else’s. Beads and wools threaded through the dread can look incredibly funky. Have fun with them and experiment. I know that once summer hits and I have more time, I’m going to try out a few things with my hair. Try to remember that other people won’t always like what you do with it, but as long as you’re having fun and feel confident wearing your style, screw them, eh? Unfortunately, because I don’t have enough experience, I can’t tell you the best way to make dreadlocks, but I can provide you with tips to find out more about them. Definitely try going to some of the ethnic hairdressers around the city, or stop someone on the street who has cool braids or dreads and ask where they got them. They might have a friend that would do them cheaply for you. Make sure to check out sites about dreadlocks online. Of course, dreadlocks don’t always suit everyone, or turn out the way you want them, but if you don’t try them you’ll never know. I think people’s aversion to them is often ill-founded. Yes, they can be smelly if the person who has them doesn’t wash, but that’s the case with any hairstyle! Once you have dreadlocks, it doesn’t mean that you can forget about your hair. There is a lot of maintenance involved but if you’re dreadfully in love, you’ll enjoy it and your confidence will grow. And if it goes wrong, or you’re not as happy as you thought you’d be with the outcome, don’t panic! With patience and care, any dread can be brushed out, and the hair can be restored to a healthy condition – there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube to show you how.

So, for even the mildly dread-curious out there, I say go for it while you are young, daring, and probably not working 9 to 5 in an office, release your inner Rasta! Cool runnings, and peace. Images: Tumblr.

Why I Love Spring Eoghan Lyng professes his love for all things spring.

‘Spring’: such a fantastic little word. How delightfully easily it rolls off the tongue. Bliss! On its own terms as a noun, it is a cosy little innocuous example of the English language`s finer moments. As a season, it is even better, incorporating many of the fixations we sapiens find appealing. But if the common man were to name his favourite season, he would more than likely refer to the captivating astonishment of the wintery time of year, or he would make an objective appraisal of the summer months – he shouldn’t. Winter may have the added bonus in containing the twelve days of Christmas, but once Santa`s presents have been opened and discarded, one is faced with the dreary austerity of cold weather and dark nights. Summer may sound impressive with the promise of longer evenings and warm weather, but anyone living on the British Isles will know that this utopic description is a heap of mitigated crap. No, the common man has been duped by common conceptions of the solstice seasons. The season to end all seasons has to be spring. Spring is a time of poetry and plenty, a time for picking flowers and rolling under bushes with a fair maiden. It is a time for admiring both the splendour of the blooming lilies, and the voracious appetites of grazing sheep. A magnitude of possibilities awaits the hopeful Irish inhabitant, who has these three months to enjoy between the soggy, sour winter and the over-long, disappointing, uneventful summer. 1.

It is a time of re-appraisal. In the paralyzing chill of midwinter, or disabled by the powerful cosiness of central heating, one tends to let personal development stagnate a little – spring is a time to take a look at where you are, and where you’d like to be. You may realise that you’ve been putting some dreams or aspirations on the long finger: consider it a spring clean for one`s life (very saccharine, I know!). It features that one month that is shorter than every other month in the year - what a hoot! While other months trudge along, obstinately outstaying their welcome, February whooshes past in a fluttery kind of manner. Like a fluttery bird. Or another type of fluttery thing. You know, something with wings.

March 17th is the day to celebrate the second greatest Welsh man of all time (after Timothy Dalton, of course!). Much time is spent looking at parades, while the rest is spent in the pub. A gregarious event for every Irish man, woman and child (plus Irish horses, dogs, cats, iguanas, etc.).

The Six Nations are on! Eyes will be placed very squarely on the television box set while Ronan O’Gara and co. fight against five very worthy adversaries. It is a glorious occasion, fuelled with adventurism, athleticism, hedonism and homoeroticism. What`s not to like?

Easter will be in March this year. Those whose choca-holism was not sated over Christmas will find it hard to kick the habit when the Easter Bunny appears, like a back-street dealer, to push his sugary wares on the weaker-willed among us. Fact: the Easter Bunny is better than Santa Claus, because it is a bunny.

April is the time when the best weather of the year appears. It arrives at a time when the individual is saddened by the residual end of spring before they are enlightened with the everlasting pleasure of sunshine, without succumbing to the soul destroying wretchedness of the summer rain! A lovely, wee surprise.

Spring is a time of re-growth for certain flowers. What kinds they are, I wouldn`t know. Go ask a botanist if you’re into that kind of thing.

April is a great time of year to experience powerful poetic inspiration. It certainly worked for Wordsworth and Blake. I implore you to let out that inner artist. Go forth and create a work that generations of school children will curse you for and multitudes of critics will revere you for. All that is necessary to compose a masterpiece is the enriching manure of Mother Nature’s influence, and the requisite items of stationary.

10. Spring time is great to allow the rootier part of you to take charge. There are numerous adverts that encourage you to throw yourself onto the ground and plod in animal excrement. So what if your clothes get soiled? Persil fixes that. It has done so for generations. Persil say so in their ads. Advertisers would never tell a lie. Would they? Look, just stop being so boring, and do something non-conformist, like the ad told you to!

As you should now know, reader, February is host to Valentine`s Day. It is a great day for the solitary cynic, sniggering at those gormless couples who blow their hard-earned bucks on man-sized stuffed animals and tooth-decaying candy wrapped in gaudy pinks and lilacs. The happy couple raise their eyebrows and snort in derision at the lonely loser, who revels in his superior detachment from the ‘Hallmark Holiday’ – somebody needs a girlfriend, eh? It’s a great laugh for everyone involved. St. Valentine was a comedian – did you know?

There it is. Spring: the illegitimate child of Summer’s humidity and Winter’s chill. But typical of the resilient spirit of great bastards throughout history (see Mae’s article), spring rises as the greatest season of all!

Images: funnyjunk.com, Flickr.

‘Are Ya Well?’

Leap (or Lunge) Into the Spring of Things. In the Lenten spirit, Leah Aftab advocates a healthy dose of penance; Why not make a little room for extra chocolate this year?

It’s February: your motivation has lapsed, those new gym runners don’t have the same shine they did when you bought them, and sitting watching the new box-set of Love-Hate seems more appealing than exercising. Sound familiar? Just because the resolutions aren’t going to plan (or, in the case of others, haven’t started) doesn’t mean you should give up! Here are some simple tips to get you started on your road to that summer body you’ve been dreaming of. Before getting started into any type of exercise, remember to warm up: stretch your arms, legs and back (you’ll be less stiff in the morning if you do) and this will help you go for longer during your workout. Examples of cardio are walking, jogging, running, using the cross trainer, cycling and the rowing machine. Benefits of cardio include an improved heart rate, reducing recovery time between gym sessions and helping to lose weight. There are various settings on these machines and if you want to know which setting is best for what you want to achieve, simply ask a staff member what each setting involves. Start at a low level and work your way up to get your heart rate going, alternating between levels is great for your fitness. The best pace for cardio is one where you’re fully warmed up but still able to hold a simple conversation without being out of breath or struggling. If, however, like me, you find cardio tedious, try some weights. There’s more to the gym than just treadmills! There is no reason to be afraid of weights; many girls think that they will build masculine muscle if they start using them, but this is not the case. A woman’s body isn’t naturally able to build muscle the way a man can, so go for it! Always ask before using any machine, or lifting free weights; it may look easy but without the correct technique you become very susceptible to injury and pain. Remember to do short reps with a quick rest in between to get stronger, working your way up to heavier weights. Using weights helps to develop a more toned physique while increases your metabolism, resulting in fat being burnt quicker. Added benefits include stronger bones, reducing the risk of osteoporosis and increasing your stamina.

your lower back. Also, remember to exhale going upwards and inhale going downwards. Core strength improves balance, coordination and posture while adding definition to your abs and trimming your waistline. Finally, finish off by stretching again, letting your body recover, reducing stress and alleviating back pain. It’s the nicest part of the workout as you know you’re done and can feel your body relaxing. Always remember to refuel after exercising – if you don’t eat because you’re slashing your calorie intake (not good), it will backfire on you as you will be losing muscle, and you’ll only end up back at square one. I’m not saying you’ll end up looking like Adriana Lima from following the above advice, but it might give you the push you need to get off the couch and out of the vicious circle that is the lazy college life. Just don’t think of the gym as a ‘quick fix’ for a week of dining on kebabs and pizza, or drinking Dutch every night; exercise should be a vital part of your life, and you’ll get what you put in. It takes time for results to show, and establishing a good relationship with it now will carry you through life. Bring a friend for some motivation and just in case you’re still not convinced, the gym is something of a haven for the creeps and lurkers out there! Now, get off your butt and get started! Image: iamchamp.com.

Core exercises are essential in any fitness plan where you aim to get a toned, tight stomach. The most important thing when performing stomach exercises is not to put unnecessary pressure on

Kids say The Darndest Things: 40 Days and 40 Nights Abigail Daisy Woods and her siblings have pledged some novel Lenten vows over the years… Lent is a testing time for the best of us. Chocolate and sweets seem to be the most popular vice to give up for many of us sinners; people seem to suffer the post palpably painful withdrawals, refusing even to look at a packet of M&M’s (crispy, plain, or peanut – no exceptions) for six whole weeks, all in anticipation of the glorious chocolate dreamland that waits at the end of it. When I was younger, it was always something that I was aware of but I never actually partook in it. As an overweight and overindulgent little child, the thought of voluntarily restricting my own access to anything edible struck terror into my very soul. Chocolate and sweets were my Holy Grail, and parting with those would have been a difficult and frankly unnecessary endeavour, as I saw it. When I did try to give something up, it was usually something I despised anyway, or I would jump on the bandwagon by giving up whatever my buddies were giving up. I remember once trying to give up toffee and pizza because that’s what my best friend was giving up; needless to say, this was a short-lived affair which lasted perhaps a day or two. Being the older sibling of three clearly less indulgent children, I envy their endurance and stamina, and I’ve seen them last the full six weeks without even flinching. They do take their risks sometimes though, and those are the times that I find it hilarious to hear the things they’re giving up for lent. My youngest sister (and the future mob boss of the family) has interpreted Lent as a time when ‘you have to try and give up what you like so you can get chocolate, but you get chocolate anyway’, and she’s not really wrong. It is all a bit counter-productive, really. This year she’s decided to give up carrots, chips, and waking up early – nothing she particularly

Drink it up, Soak it in – Gulpd

enjoyed anyway. This child is known for having the most devious Lenten vows. One year she most philosophically gave up ‘giving up’, and another year she decided to be very generous and donate her Lenten vows to my other sister and brother, so they could give up something extra and ‘be holier’. One of the most effortless gestures of selflessness I have ever seen. Last year my brother gave up pasta, which proved to be very difficult for my mother as it’s the only thing he eats (well, that and ketchup). That particular challenge ended abruptly as six weeks of eating bowls of ketchup could hardly be good for anyone, let alone a seven year old boy. He has since decided to forgo Lent; when questioned about it he simply answered ‘I just don’t know, I’m only a boy’. This year is going to be the first year that I will actually go the full six weeks without chocolate and sweets – not because of some new found empathy with Christ’s ordeal in the desert, but because I’ve made a bet with my sister. I don’t know what the rest of you are giving up for Lent, but whatever you choose - be it takeaways, cigarettes, alcohol, essays or some other mental sort of thing – I encourage you all to stick with it. Lent doesn’t have to be a religious thing – you can just go all post-modern and ironic, if you are so inclined, and just use it as 40 days to push it to the limit. Whether you worship at the Altar of the Lord, or just want to shed the Lard, why not give Lent a go? A bit of penance never hurt anyone (except for that self-flagellating monk in The Da Vinci Code). Images: icanhazcheezburger.com.

Address: Tobin St, Cork City.

Tommy Tobin kicks back with a steaming cup of Joe in Cork’s premier hipster watering hole, Gulpd Café.

Hours: Mon–Thurs: 9.30am – 11.30pm | Fri – Sat: 9.30am – 12.30am | Sun: 2pm -11pm (times subject to change).

Hip and trendy, the Triskel Art Centre’s Gulpd Café is a little gem in Cork City. Nestled neatly in the discrete Tobin Street, next to SoHo and off the Grand Parade, Gulpd is a great place to eat, drink, and be merry. Gulpd compliments the various aspects of the Triskel Arts Centre; not only is it a great café by itself, it remains open during theatre performances and film screenings. The café’s smoking area outside the 18thcentury Christchurch building is quite large, with tables and a nice green space. Also, the Triskel’s record shop, Plugd, affords some quality music – playing excellent records from yesteryear, as well as newer grooves, and they host plenty of live performances. Visit the café’s Facebook page and find it littered with announcements about the music! As for the café’s chill vibe, the place feels intimate as you enter. Gulpd comes complete with contemporary art adorning the walls, handwritten menu boards, and a warm atmosphere. Alternating between a space for talking with a friend or a date, listening to some of the dulcet notes, or drinking a latte on takeaway, Gulpd has got you covered for many a situation. With a simple menu, Gulpd is a good bet for lunch. The food on offer consists of simple dishes—stews and sandwiches—paired with a selection of hot and cold beverages. After lunch, the food options decline precipitously, making dining here at lunch a much better choice than eating later. The fruit scone was enjoyable, and it certainly made the rainy

day more enjoyable – especially when paired with the delectable latte. Brewing Golden Bean coffee, Gulpd’s hot caffeinated drinks are on par with any in Cork City. Gulpd at the Triskel feels comfortable and approachable, yet artsy. The clientele are bohemian, but not intimidating or cliquey. This reviewer’s barista, James, did an admirable job of managing the tone of the place: manning the music, taking orders, and chatting customers. For those fortunate enough to find this hidden gem of Cork city, it’s certainly worth a visit (or two or three!). Good For: Lunch, dates, music, coffee. Rating:

At The Races

R. Sole manages to write an article about Cheltenham without including a single horseburger joke.

3. The Parade in the Paddock Horse racing, like alcohol, has mysteriously aligned itself with all significant holidays in the Irish religious calendar, such as Christmas, Easter and St Patrick’s Day. With the approach of the annual St Patrick’s week pilgrimage to Cheltenham, here’s a few tips on how you can have an enriching experience.

If you hear the clip-clop of hooves on asphalt behind you, do not open your mouth until after you have turned around. An ill-chosen remark about an ill-tempered breed of animal could easily land you in hospital, so it’s best to make absolutely sure that you’re not within stilettothrowing range before you say it. The fact is that:

1. Tipping

(a) the sound made by footwear/hooves

According to an old joke, you should never work as a waitress/barman at the Curragh because very few people tip well. The fact is, if anybody had a golden tip, they’d keep it to themselves.

(b) the shape of footwear/hooves producing that distinctive sound

Axiom One about sure-fire tips: betting odds are like the stock market; the easiest way to influence which numbers (bettings odds) fall and rise are to spread rumours. So by telling everybody to bet on Horse A, the odds on popular Horse A fall and the odds on less popular Horse B rise. Now, the tipster goes off and bets on Horse B, which now delivers a better payout than it would have before the rumour started. Economists and financiers call it legitimate speculation. The rest of society call it a dirty trick, if not downright criminal. It’ll be interesting to see which version the Supreme Court eventually adopts. Axiom Two is about sure-fire bets. In the spirit of Nostradamus Roulette, you will only hear about the successes, and only after they turn out to be true. You rarely hear about the thousands of inaccurate predictions/bets that the ‘expert’ made over the years, because that would dilute the legend… and we Irish love a good story. The one exception to this rule (i.e. somebody who does in fact have consistently reliable tips) is Mahon Tribunal attendee Bertie Ahern. Apparently he won a lot of money ‘on the horses’ but was so shy about his astute acumen that he didn’t tell anybody at all about his talents until he had no choice.

(c) the firmness of the hind quarters resulting from wearing that footwear (d) the shiny glossy manes of the contestant (and in some cases the results of rhinoplasty) are very similar among equine entrants in the main horse race, and among human entrants in the Ladies’ Day competition. It’s no accident that high heels have a particular effect on the hind quarters of women, nor is the design of the shoe itself an unusual coincidence. It is, however, baffling that intelligent and highly-cultured women, having liberated themselves from the label of inferiority, would actually compete for the honour of winning a title which is basically an appalling joke in really bad taste, and with the location specifically chosen to rub further salt in the wound. But at least the hind quarters of the contestant are NOT seen as a highly valuable source of information in speculating who the winner is likely to be. Women are not objects, they just compete for one.

2. Tote or Bookies? It’s a common misconception that the tote (on-track betting) offers better deals than the bookies. It’s also a common misconception that the opposite is true instead. The fact is it doesn’t really matter. In times of recession, the real key is haggling. If the odds are going to change in a couple of minutes anyway, the person taking your bets can hardly say his/her prices are non-negotiable! Secondly, everybody knows that cash is king and a nod is as good as a wink (except during an auction, in which case it can land you in very expensive trouble). Try offering him a cheque and then see if he’ll offer ‘better terms’ if you deal in cash.

4. The Lay of the Land Just like GAA, the ground conditions on the big day can favour or hinder a particular competitor. Some horses prefer soft ground to absorb the impact when jumping hurdles, others prefer it to be more firm as it provides more grip (and speed) on the flat. The condition of the ground is called the ‘going’. Frequently the ‘going’ is described as ‘good to soft’, so remember that when the going gets tough, bet on a different horse.

5. Bring Wellies Umbrellas and raincoats are optional, but the wellington boots are vital in protecting you from something other than the inclement elements. If you have to ask why, you might as well find out the hard way… but your friends will never travel with you again without an assortment of fans and air fresheners on standby.

Images: Hat Trick Productions, glamyou.co.uk.

Shell Leonard returns with yet another instalment of delicious, easy and (mostly) healthy recipes, suitable for even the biggest kitchen-phobes out there. The season of love is among us, and as we wade through soppy sentiment, rich food, and newsfeeds rife with protestations of love, take some time to think about the little things – like good food! With the sun making intermittent trysts, seasonal veg are in their glory. Here are some very simple, very tasty ways to show someone how much you love them – or just treat yourself!

Spicy

Parsnip Soup

Ingredients:

Seasoning:

* 1 onion, diced.

* 1 tsp of Garam Marsala/Indian spice mix.

* 3 cloves of garlic, diced.

* Salt and pepper.

* 2 inches of ginger, diced.

* An inch of chilli paste.

* 7 medium sized parsnips, chopped into chunks. * 200 ml double cream.

Method:

* 800ml hot vegetable stock.

Add some oil to a large pot. Fry off the onions, garlic, ginger and spice mix.

* 1 tbsp of olive oil.

Add the parsnips and fry for a minute. Add the stock and cream and bring to the boil. Season to your own taste. Turn the heat down and simmer for 30 minutes. If satisfied that the parsnips are cooked, blend using a hand blender and taste.

Fresh Breaded Fish: * Fillet of white fish (whiting, cod, or haddock, I would suggest to get it from a fishmonger). * Flour. * 2 eggs, beaten. * 300-500g of breadcrumbs. Method:

Serving suggestion:

Wash down the fish. Dry off with a kitchen towel.

Serve with mushy peas, chips, and a wedge of lemon.

Coat the fish with flour. Brush with an egg. Either place the fish in a bowl of breadcrumbs, or pat the breadcrumbs into the fish.

Bonus Tip – You can substitute the fish for cooked chicken if you like home-made KFC!

Fry in a deep fat fryer for 5-7minutes, or bake in the oven for 25mins, turning half way through.

Chocolate Truffles

Method:

Ingredients:

Place the chocolate in a large ceramic bowl. Boil the cream until very hot.

* 400g of milk chocolate, chopped into squares. * 142ml of double cream. * 1 tsp of vanilla extract. * Some loose cocoa powder. Additions: * Malteasers. * Crispy M&M’s.

Add the vanilla and pour over the chocolate. Leave to rest for 2 minutes. Stir the mixture until smooth. Leave to set for roughly 2 hours. When set, coat hands with cocoa and dig out a walnut sized bit of mixture and roll between your two hands until it makes a nice round ball.

If adding Malteasers, press into the mixture before rolling.

Bon Appètit! Images: Shell Leonard.

The Raven AN ENDING?

by Dave Horgan

Boring and predictable life mostly is, The same ups and downs, The same in and out, Sometimes one wonders if it’s worth it all. We have days we smile, with friends and family, We have times of anger, caused by a wished forgotten past. To end it all now, Or to live through it all, Making more mistakes, And losing old friends. I may try to live now, I’ll see how long I last, But no matter how close I come, I’ll never fear death.

I am 29, I am 19, I am 9. I am Before Time by Laura Marie Whelton. An appetite, fuelled by elusive things. The illusion of happiness, the pain it brings. The midnight dancing on a lacquered floor Last song beating, sweat like a tear. The torn postcard feelings, From a friend gone astray, ‘Never mind, We will meet another day.’ The Lapis- Lazuli of a stranger’s eyes, Beguiling, conniving, twisted inside. Continuous walkways burning with rage And tomorrow sweeps the ash of today. A lost weekend, a fucked-up night A losing of myself, to the pain inside. The fierceness of love, emblems of truth, Beats you, rapes you, corpsed and abused. Smiles as empty as a supermarket aisle, Embrace you with a dampened cardboard squeeze. All the more to convince, it’s never quite what it seems. Yet weakly I waver and stride alongside, Images of the future, emergence of time. Next wage, next time, next kiss, next hopeless movement of the human race.

Stranger than Fiction! •

The first novel sold through a vending machine - at the Paris Metro - was Murder on the Orient Express.

•

Ernest Vincent Wright’s 1939 novel Gadsby has 50,110 words, none of which contains the letter ‘e.’

•

Edgar Allan Poe introduced mystery fiction’s first fictional detective, Auguste C. Dupin, in his 1841 story, The Murders in the Rue Morgue.

fashion

Sequin and Silk Dress: River Island, â&#x201A;Ź87.

Suede Boots:

River Island, €80.

Black Denim Shorts: Topshop,

€33.

Jersey Printed T-shirt: Topshop,

€33.

Fur Gilet:

Stylist’s own.

Fedora:

Topshop,

€38.

Fedora:

Stylist’s own.

Topshop, €38.

Denim Smock Dress: Topshop, €58.

Gold Bangle:

Black Mesh Dress:

Miss Daisy Blue,

€105.

Black & Gold Brocade Jacket: Mercury Goes Retrograde, €28.

3636

Beige Jersey Dress:

Paperdolls Boutique,

Brown Leather Bag:

Mercury Goes Retrograde, €25.

€95.95.

Denim and Jersey Jumper: River Island, €47. Black Denim Shorts:

Topshop, €33.

Suede Boots:

River Island,

Leather Clutch:

Fran and Jane, €59.

€80.

38 38

White Leather Trousers: River Island, €65. Black Jersey T-shirt:

Topshop,

€18.

Faux Fur Coat:

Topshop,

€45.

Black Leather Heels:

Shoot Credits: Photography and Direction: Egle Laukyte Sarganova (White Cat Studio Photography). Model: Jennifer Murphy. Fashion by Emma Oliver and Aisling Fitzpatrick. Fashion Assistant: Ruth Farmer. Hair by Origins Hair Design. Makeup by Laurence Keating. Shot on location with thanks to Hayfield Manor.

€65.

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Best Dressed Couples With Valentine’s Day just past us, Emma Oliver dissects the world’s most beautiful and badly dressed couples. 1. Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom I am not in the least bit ashamed to admit that I have a big fat girl crush on Miranda Kerr. Step aside Orlando, I want to be your wife’s, um, wife? Well, not really, but if I could marry her clothes I would. She always looks so effortlessly cool, whether she’s strutting down a Victoria Secret runway or strolling around the streets of New York with the adorable baby Flynn. Together, Orlando and Miranda are the ultimate power couple – never putting anything less than a fashionable foot forward while they make their mark on the world. Here’s hoping these two last.

4. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick Who would have ever thought a Kardashian would end up on this list? Well, it definitely helps when you have Scott Disick as your arm candy and baby daddy. Known for his outrageous behaviour and second-to-none ability to piss off Kourtney, this guy also oozes summer in the Hamptons style. He also owns a cane and pairs it with a smoking jacket and somehow pulls it off in a non-creepy Hugh Heffner way. As for Kourtney, well, there’s not a whole lot that can be said for her style credentials. She thought teaming up with Dorothy Perkins was a fashion-forward move. I mean, really? But despite that, this couple seem to make it work fashion wise and for that they’ve earned a spot on this list.

2. Kate Moss and Jamie Hince What would a best dressed couples list be without the Queen of Fashion and her King of Rock and Roll? In a wedding that had almost more hype than the royal wedding, this couple’s big day was one of the hottest tickets on the fashion calendar. Ever. Kate’s style has really varied throughout the years; from junkie to boho, she seems to have settled on rock and roll groupie which not only is apt but is a style that suits her to the ground. Jamie’s style is cool, but at times can be a little generic indie rock. That said, being married to Moss is always going to get him on this list.

5. Victoria and David Beckham This WAG was once scorned by fashion’s elite, but now she is not only celebrated but adored by many. Her collections go from strength to strength every season, and she is also the poster girl for every business-savvy yummy mummy out there. Always groomed and polished, this lady has finally made transition from Spice Girl to one of the most admired women in the world. I don’t think there needs to be too much of an explanation given as to why David Beckham paired with VB is on this list. Google his 2013 H&M campaign. Thank me later.

3. Olivia Palermo and Joshua Jackson I used to hate Olivia Palermo. If The City was anything to go by, Olivia and Whitney needed to step away from the spotlight. Far away. But little by little, this socialite wheedled her way back into the spotlight with a much more favourable outcome; the furs, the immaculate hair and that quintessential New York style that has captured all our hearts since Gossip Girl graced our screens back in 2007. Who knew walking a dog in heels could actually look not that ridiculous and even quite a fashionable affair? Throw a smoking hot model boyfriend into the mix and you’re on to a winning team.

Worst Dressed Couples 1. Kim Kardashian and Kayne West

half ’s help. For being a douche.

This couple is a fashion match made in hell. One doesn’t know how to dress for her figure and the other doesn’t know how to dress. Full stop. Every time these two step out together or separately, a little part inside of me dies. Kim is allegedly a size zero, which is hard to believe when her ass borderline needs its own post code. She is such a beautiful woman but gets it so, so wrong. I don’t particularly like Kayne – he would have ended up on this list with or without his disastrous other

4. Katie Price and, well, anyone. Luckily a photo says a thousand words. I have none.

2. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. I love these two. They are an insanely beautiful couple who both scrub up so well – separately. But something awful happens when these two beautiful people are out and about together; sweatpants happen and they are not a good look. Mila looks scruffy and Ashton just looks average. Maybe it’s to look inconspicuous and blend in with us non-celebs, but last time I checked not all of us ‘normal people’ feel it necessary to ‘casual it up’ on what feels like a never-ending daily basis for these two. For God’s sake – get yourselves back on the best dressed list, stat!

3. Britney Spear and Justin Timberlake Now, I know this dynamic duo are far from being still together, but their fashion choices as a couple will go down in history as being the most bizarre and hauntingly ugly of all time. Was it really necessary to wear head-totoe denim to a red carpet event? Head-to-toe as Justin wore a denim cowboy hat. I know – I can’t believe that exists either. Their outfits were so appalling that when you Google ‘Britney and Justin’, ‘Britney and Justin Denim’ is the second search item to come up. I kid you not. There may be a lot of bad couple outfits on this list, but this one hands-down takes first place. It may have been 2001, but that’s still not an excuse for this disaster.

5. David and Samantha Cameron This man is the Prime Minister of a country with just over 60 million citizens. Can someone please get him a stylist? The only thing worse than David’s office clothes are David’s out-of-office clothes. Do I really want to remind you all of the black-shoes-without-socks holiday snaps of the Camerons on Vay-Cay 2012? Oh, well, I just did. But poor David isn’t the only one to blame here. It takes two to make a badly dressed couple. While not all of Samantha’s outfit choices are mind numbingly boring, a good majority of them are. When pictured in 2012 with Carla Bruni and Michelle Obama, it was clear who won the most fashion forward first lady title. It was not Sam.

Images:JustJared.com, modelsblog.info, glam.co.uk, polyvore.com, splashnewsonline.com, ivillage.com, luvcelebs.co.uk, dailymail.co.uk.

Unfolding The Dream Factory As Vanity Fair’s 18th Annual Hollywood Issue hits the stands, Nicole Clinton charts the evolution of its covers’ stars, fashion and themes throughout the years. Vanity Fair magazine launched its annual ‘Hollywood Issue’ in April 1995 to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the motion picture. Editor Graydon Carter unintentionally began this tradition by writing in his editor’s letter that: ‘For Americans especially, the movies remain the one true indigenous entertainment art… It is something we have just always been good at’. Although the Hollywood Issue’s purpose is to focus on the most striking performances of the year and delve back into the town’s secret scandals, the fold-out covers continue to overshadow the content, based on the beauty, fashion and iconic imagery that they exude. The VF Hollywood Issue covers generally feature an eclectic mix of veteran movie royalty, modern superstars and the best of up-and-coming talent. But sometimes the magazine chooses to focus on only one of these three groups. However, one rule remains: only the most beautiful and/or talented make the cut. One glance of the past covers can reveal the era it was published in, with the chosen stars representing a specific period of time in the entertainment industry. The first ever special saw nineties darlings Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman and Sarah Jessica Parker lead the scantily clad line-up of females.1996, 2003 and 2007 featured all-male covers, with actors ranging from Tom Cruise to Jude Law and Samuel L. Jackson gracing the pages. But in fact, what is perhaps most interesting are the VF predictions, indicating who the magazine believed would become future stars. We can look back now and recognise both careers that were catapulted into the stratosphere of superstardom or those lost to the depths of the ocean. Every young actor dreams of landing the cover of the Hollywood issue, but, unfortunately, no-one remembers Alison Elliott (1997), Barry Pepper (1999) or Marley Shelton (2000). Although, what is more significant is that, including this year’s cover, the actors that the magazine have selected to adorn the front pages have collected 137 Oscar nominations and carried away 30 statuettes between them. The fashion and themes displayed by the beautiful people eternally trapped in the covers generally reflect the style of each particular era. Nineties minimalism influenced the 1995 cover which saw its cover stars dressed in monochrome lingerie and natural make-up. The 1999 cover reflects the nineties grunge look, with Reese Witherspoon and Kate Hudson among others featured in casual attire. After the tragedy of 9/11, the 2002 fold-out featured a paired-back, simple grey and black palette to reflect the sombre times. As we rolled past the millennium and the fashion industry became increasingly more interested in vintage styles, the concepts for the covers have become more glamorous. This trend culminated in 2011’s decadent, classic Hollywood bar scene featuring actresses such as Anne Hathaway, Mila Kunis and Jennifer Lawrence sandwiched between their male contemporaries James Franco, Jake Gyllenhaal and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

The opulent dark tones of this cover contrasted greatly with the shining white backdrop and crushed satin and feathers of last year’s image. Rooney Mara, Jessica Chastain and Mia Wasikowska appeared among others in the cool, Art Deco set inspired by the work of Syrie Maugham, the English decorator of the ’20s and ’30s. Jessica Diehl, VF’s fashion and style director, decided that the pastel satin dresses of the decorator’s era seemed perfect for 2012’s line-up of rising starlets. The iconic quality embodied in the annual special isn’t all down to the host of legends that grace it, however, as the photography is also key to adding that unique touch. The editors of the edition often sprawl the photographer’s name across the magazine as if he/she was another invisible star, adding their presence to the finished product. Famous Hollywood photographer Annie Leibovitz was responsible for all of the cover images from 1995 to 2010. Leibovitz is the eyes behind legions of glamorous and personal images of the stars, from Johnny Depp to Kate Moss. Norman Jean Roy took 2011’s sultry, old-Hollywood themed cover photo, and last year’s cover was shot by Mario Testino, also renowned for his intimate portraits of Hollywood personalities. A frequent collaborator of fashion bible, Vogue, Testino’s background in striking fashion imagery made him a worthy successor to Leibovitz throne. However, while photographers come and go, a glossy sophistication and other-worldly sense of beauty must be maintained year in, year out.

The most recent covers underline that VF’s main intention of the Hollywood Issue’s cover is to create imagery that presents modern stars as classic screen goddesses. The Hollywood Issue aims to present actresses that girls want to be, and dapper, handsome gentlemen that ladies want to be with. The allure of the movies is perfectly portrayed in the fashion and tones of the covers by the creation of a sense of unobtainable beauty. Saturated with style, the images succeed in inducing a dreamlike, magical quality in the eyes of the film or fashion conscious in a way that cannot be explained to a world obsessed with reality and information. The covers indicate that Hollywood is well aware of its allure and will continue to use its power over us mere mortals. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Images: Vanity Fair.

Making the Cut

Sarah Commane breaks down the designers dominating each major fashion week. Fashion Week is a special time of year – not least because it’s a month long, happens twice a year, and spans two continents. At the time of writing, the Autumn/Winter 2013 ready-to-wear collections had just begun in New York, and I imagine London will be in full swing by the time you read this, with Milan and Paris to follow. Now, you may ask why Fashion Week is so special, besides the aforementioned discrepancies in the whole concept. The fashion world loves a good brand and, frankly, Fashion Week is a brand, a great, seductive, confusing, beautiful brand. So what makes this brand so successful that we ignore the countless other fashion feeks around the world and flock to, or aspire to flock, to the big four? It’s all about the brand and the brand of the designer of your choice, who, depending on where they choose to show, will have an identity that conforms to some sort of theme that we associate with city they are showing in. New York is cool, London experimental, Paris chic and Milan luxurious. So what are the four brands that help to create and arguably adhere to this branding?

Miuccia Prada: While Paris has many great houses, Milan Fashion

Week, in my mind, is about the brand of the fashion house. Mrs Prada’s brand is genius: covetable, crafted and creative. She makes clothes for women who love luxury but still want a product that will push people’s perceptions of style. Like Milan Fashion Week, there is nothing bashful about a Prada design; it’s bold and confident, but always simply great. Her designs are made from the best material by arguably the best womenswear designer. A Prada collection often takes inspiration from art, culture or even something abstract like ‘beauty in the face of war’. This mix of the best materials and the design direction of Miuccia Prada create a monster global brand that perfectly and comfortably complements the brand identity of Milan Fashion Week.

Ann Demeulemeester: A member of the famed ‘Antwerp Six’ along

Alexander Wang: New York was made for Wang’s effortless, boy-

meets-girl look. He has built a brand that reportedly makes $60 million a year and essentially created the ‘model off-duty’ aesthetic, which is so integral to his brand identity. Erin Wasson, partner in crime and his stylist muse (she styled all his shows until relatively recently), is the embodiment of the model off-duty look. If you have some time check out some videos of the pair together; there is a notable one on Style.com in which they get a bit drunk and take you on a tour of the New York party scene to celebrate the duo’s collaboration on Wang’s second show. Now with Wang taking over from Nicolas Ghesquière at the helm of Balenciaga in Paris, all eyes are on the 26 year old, and I can’t wait to see what he does with such an established brand.

with Dries Van Noten and the seventh member, Martin Maison Margiela, she is the designer who, like Paris, has an identity and vision and sticks to it. Trends or celebrities do not bother her. Demeulemeester’s brand will not be seen on a red carpet or copied ad infinitum by the High Street. She makes clothes that she wants to wear – in fact, she only wears clothes she makes herself, admitting in an interview that she does own one pair of Levi jeans and only deigns to wear them while gardening. Her clothing is almost exclusively black and white and always distinctively conscribing to her brand. Paris Fashion Week and Demeulemeester’s brand go hand in hand, both offering the consumer piece of mind in knowing what you’re going to get.

Simone Rocha: One of my favourite emerging designers. London

really is a great home for her brand. She is experimental and tends to push the limits of taste just like the brand of LFW itself. Describing her aesthetic as ‘modern and strong yet romantic’, Simone has a great eye for fabric and texture and her brand includes stunning Perspex heeled brogues and simple shapes made interesting by exciting materials and texture. She was a recipient of the coveted NEWGEN sponsorship for Autumn/Winter 2013, joining alumni such as Alexander McQueen, Mary Katrantzou and Erdem Moralioğlu. Keep an eye on Rocha and her brand – she is one to watch.

Images: Alexander Wang.com, AnnDemeulemeester.be, telegraph.co.uk, simonerocha.com.

Motley is hiring for the 2013-14 academic year! Editor Documents required: •

CV.

•

Cover letter or personal statement.

•

Minimum of 3 samples of writing.

•

Written vision/plan for the magazine.

Editorial and/or writing experience required. Applications and questions about the role to editor@motley.ie. Deadline for applications is 15th March, 6pm. Interviews will be held during March.

Motley is hiring for the 2013-14 academic year! Designer

Editor

Documents required: Documents required: •

CV.

•

CV.

•

Cover letter orofpersonal • Minimum 3 samples ofstatement. writing.

•

• Written vision/plan for the magazine. Portfolio of work.

•

Cover letter or personal statement.

Editorial and/or writing experience required.

Written or mock-up vision/plan for the magazine (optional).

Applications and questions about the role to editor@motley.ie.

Experience with publishing software Deadline for applications is 15th March, (e.g. 6pm. InDesign) is essential. Interviews will be held during March. Applications and questions about the role to editor@motley.ie.

Deadline for applications is 22nd March, 6pm. Interviews will be held during April. Designer Documents required: • •

CV.

Cover letter or personal statement.

Please note that the remaining positions will be advertised online. • Portfolio of work. •

Written or mock-up vision/plan for the magazine (optional).

Application details for these positions will be announced during

Experience with publishing software (e.g. InDesign) is essential. March. Applications and questions about the role to editor@motley.ie. Deadline for applications is 22nd March, 6pm. Interviews will be held during April.

Please note that the remaining positions will be advertised online. Application details for these positions will be announced during March.