Motley Issue 5 2013 by Motley Magazine

Howard Marks

Interview p.12/13 with ‘Mr. Nice’ ahead of his return to UCC in February.

Community

In anticipation of the fourth season.

Street Style Fashion Shoot Pages 35-42.

What’s in a flag?

Alan Conway considers the recent upheavals in Belfast.

uccmotley.ie

current affairs entertainments features fashion

‘Do you hear the people sing?’ After an eight year process and $1 million, The Great Book of Ireland has recently made its home in UCC. Being a ‘fan’ and ‘supporter’ of the arts in my own way, I was intrigued; a vellum manuscript showcasing the creative talents 121 artists, 9 composers and 143 poets. It’s an extraordinary creation. As always, the question has been raised: ‘could the money have been better spent?’ What about the students who are struggling to pay for food each day? $1 million could have done a lot for them and their families. Are their voices not being heard? This is not the beginnings of some fanciful rhetoric about ‘taking to the streets to let our voices be heard’; there is a reason why I mention it here. A criticism I received in December regarding UCC’s student media was some of the student voices aren’t being heard enough – or, to quote exactly what was lyrically voiced, ‘do you hear your readers sing?’; the voices of struggling students, the voices who have strongly set opinions, the voices of those who disagree with articles which we have published. From my experience in the past three years with Motley, these voices ‘aren’t being heard enough’ because there is reluctance amongst a large number of students to actually contact us and express their opinion (which is often commented on by writers when they first touch base with us). We’re a student magazine, put together by students for students. Despite what a few may have incorrectly concluded, we do not have any hidden agendas to ignore any voice, student or otherwise. These are the facts. Put simply, we cannot publish what is not written and sent to us, and I’m not going to pretend that this is otherwise. As I have expressed in the past, UCC’s media cannot grow without the help of its students and its university. Motley doesn’t need $1 million to bring you the writings of UCC’s creative students. What is continually needed, however, is not money, but support – support for the media outlets which cater for the writing and journalistic needs and abilities of students in a university which so strongly supports culture and creativity. The purchase of Leabhar Mór na hÉireann served as another reminder that UCC’s own student media lack facilities and resources to bring you the best we possibly can each month. Up until very recently, we did not even have an office; we now share a (tiny) workspace with UCC Express – a desk, two chairs, and a computer which needs to be fixed. It’s not ideal, but it’s a start. Nevertheless, we will continue to work as hard as we can; our website, uccmotley.ie, will continue to be regularly updated with content; we will continue our giveaways on our social media pages for our readers who have lent their support to us by reading our articles each month; and we will continue to listen out for the voices within UCC’s student populace who have hesitated in putting pen to paper. As always, I encourage you to get in touch: write an article, let us know what you thought of the issue – you can even just say ‘hello’ and arrange to meet. Mine’s a tea. —John Murphy

The Team

Editor — editor@motley.ie John Murphy Current Affairs — currentaffairs@motley.ie Alan Conway (Editor) Orla Hubbard (Deputy Editor) Cathal Larkin (Deputy Editor) Entertainments — entertainments@motley.ie Emma Mc Carthy (Editor) Eimear Hurley (Deputy Editor) Tamara Malone (Deputy Editor) Features — features@motley.ie Mae McSweeney (Editor) Senita Appiakorang (Deputy Editor) Peter Neville (Deputy Editor) Fashion — fashion@motley.ie Aisling Fitzpatrick (Editor) Emma Oliver (Deputy Editor) Designer — design@motley.ie Richard Sheehy

The Writers Daniel Boland Dean Browne Nicole Clinton Mary Collins Sarah Commane Eoghan DaltonLeah Driscoll Colm Pádraig Duffy Sarah England Gavin Fitzgerald Martha Hegarty

Daniel Lennon Shell Leonard Gavin Lynch-Frahill Eoghan Lyng Gary McKeating Dean Murray Laura O’ Donovan Terry O’Sullivan Tommy Tobin Barry Williams Abigail Daisy Woods WenQing Yin

PR/Marketing — pr@motley.ie Louise Maher Photographer Egle Laukyte Advertising — comms@uccsu.ie James O’Doherty

Response from Barry Williams on a December article.

32:

15:

Gavin Lynch-Frahill on the ‘SUSI disaster’.

Gary McKeating considers The Impossible.

What’s cooking in Shell’s Kitchen this month?

22-26: 46-47: The A to Z of award season fashion. 3

Special features on Travelling!

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current affairs

What’s in a Flag? Alan Conway considers the recent upheavals in Belfast that threatened to spill over on to our own front porch. The ‘protests’ that have erupted in Belfast, and across the six counties in recent weeks, as well as the suggestion that the protest may be brought to Dublin, are mired in misunderstanding and misinformation. Up until recently the Union Flag has flown every day of the year above Belfast City Hall. This is despite it not being the norm for government buildings, be they in Belfast or London, and entirely a result of a Unionist majority membership of the Council. It can be imagined that during the good days of the 60s or 70s this was a way of reminding elements of the population of ‘who ran the show’; things have changed greatly across this island since then, and few places more so than Belfast.

continue to be plagued by politicians who simply use them as a pawn in their own political maneuvers. All the while, issues that created the tension to allow an explosion of political activism in the 70s are failing to be progressed, and in some cases, actually regressing (see a mutual respect of culture and housing as two main issues). The contrast between mainstream Nationalism and its constant condemnation of fringe elements, with the silence of Unionist leaders, particularly in relation to the recent attacks on the North Strand, cannot be understated. Elements within both communities seek a regression – however, it is only the political elite of one that is facilitating it.

The motion received cross party support, from Sinn Féin and the SDLP to Alliance Party (who only in recent years have taken the East Belfast Westminster seat from the DUP). The idea behind the motion? Simply to reflect what the latest census data tells us is the case in Belfast. The flag is still to be flown on the designated days of the year it flies in all government buildings across Britain and the North, and there has been little talk of raising the Tricolour next to it.

Finally, there was the suggestion that these protests could come south to the doors of the Dublin parliament itself. Given the debacle that was Willie Frazer’s ‘Love Ulster Parade’, it was clear from the first iteration that there would be issues with such a parade going ahead. Now it appears it has been postponed, and is unlikely to take place in the future. All sides have a role to play in bringing about a peaceful resolution to the challenges currently faced in the north of this island, but it would be far more constructive if we can convince our own Tánaiste, Éamon Gilmore, to visit and engage with the effected communities during his visit north this month, than bring rioters back onto the streets of Dublin. Edwina Currie quote courtesy of An Phoblacht.

The response to the motion, however, is the most interesting facet of this tale. Firstly, we have seen masked gangs take to the street in the most carefully orchestrated shows of strength seen in the city for quite some time. It has become clearly apparent that the protestors are not a ‘spontaneous uprising’ of British patriots, as some would have us believe. Statements from the PSNI themselves have made it quite clear that the organisation of these ‘protests’ is in the hands of members of the Ulster Volunteer Force. Up to 70 members of the PSNI have been injured as a result in recent weeks, including in attempts upon the lives of the very officers seeking to restore order. What respect can such individuals have for a flag, when they have so little for officers of a force primarily made up of individuals loyal to it? The point is further illustrated in the response to the protests from England itself; when former Conservative MP and Minister Edwina Currie states,

Images: AnSionnachFionn.Wordpress.com, IrishTimes.com (Cathal McNaughton/Reuters), BBC.co.uk.

‘You’ve got hoodies in Belfast wrapping themselves in the Union flag, hiding their faces with masks and you just think “Ugh! Do I want to be associated with that? Is that my Britain?” No, it isn’t. I think they’re mad’, then perhaps it is time to consider just how exactly best to express your allegiance. Further, the human cost of this reactionary riot has been sad and heartfelt. Small, local business struggling to trade, and in one instance a man attempting to visit his ill wife in hospital being greeted with cackles of ‘Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio’ by these ‘political protestors’. The response to these protests within mainstream Unionism has been the same as it always is. Key leadership figures have paid lip service to calling for an end to protests, but have they put in the time and hours in the communities to facilitate such a cessation? The answer has broadly been no. Until such a leadership is offered, working class Unionists will

Another Perspective Barry Williams responds to Luke Field’s article, ‘Pillar of Defence, Foundations of Sand’, which appeared in the December issue of Motley.

Imagine this scenario: loyalist terrorist gangs in Northern Ireland are firing missiles across the border at the most northerly counties of the Republic. On an almost daily basis, life is being disrupted in towns such as Dundalk, Monaghan, Cavan and Letterkenny.

no action or retaliating at the risk of causing deaths and injuries to civilians. Civilian casualties – whilst tragic and regrettable – are very hard to avoid in any war. Throughout the wars of the 20th century, civilians accounted for around 90% of the dead and/or injured. In the NATO assault on Yugoslavia in 1999, 80% of deaths and injuries were civilian. Yet, under the far more onerous conditions of Gaza where civilians live in dense and narrow streets, just over half the casualties were civilians. This is far from being evidence of the disproportionate response or ‘genocide’ mentioned in the article; rather it shows just how careful the Israelis were in trying to avoid civilian casualties.

The missiles do regularly cause injuries and damage to infrastructure but few deaths. Nevertheless, children spend days in shelters rather than in school. People often can’t go to work. As the months go by, the missiles are reaching further and further into ROI territory. Drogheda is now within range as is Donegal town and even Sligo. What would you expect the government in Dublin to do? Perhaps you’d like to see, as a start, a protest to the Stormont Assembly. Failing that, perhaps a strongly worded statement should be sent to the UK government in London. What if there was no actual functioning Stormont Assembly or indeed no government in London – or at least not one whose writ ran in Northern Ireland? What if the only people with any appreciable power in Northern Ireland were the gangs firing the missiles? What if their explicitly expressed belief was that the people of the ROI were the sons of apes and pigs? What if their openly and repeatedly stated aim was to wipe the Republic of Ireland off the map? What if they didn’t even operate under one central authority meaning that each group was pretty much a law unto itself? What would you then expect the Dublin government to do? Would there be any other option apart from a military response?

Perhaps these deaths do polarise Palestinian opinion further but an army is allowed to take action to defend its population. Indeed, it has a duty to do so. Israel evacuated Gaza in 2005 but the end result has been a territory controlled by militants whose expressed aim is the destruction of the State of Israel. Like many others, Mr Field seems to make the error of assuming that those suffering the greater number of casualties must be ‘The Good Guys’. The Israelis have built defence systems to protect all their citizens (Jewish and non-Jewish) from missile attacks. Gazan militants care nothing for their fellow Gazans and only want to attack Israel. As demonstrated by the recent lull, there would be peace along the Israel-Gaza frontier if there were no missiles being fired from Gaza. This article opened with a highly implausible scenario on the island of Ireland being compared to the Israel-Gaza situation. It’s not analogous for the reasons explained above. However, there are other reasons why it’s far from plausible. I personally couldn’t imagine the authorities in the Republic continuing to supply water and electricity whilst sending convoys of aid north even as the conflict was in progress. Indeed, I couldn’t imagine any war where one of the combatants supplied the other with water, electricity and aid. But that’s what the Israelis did even while hundreds of Gazan missiles were raining down on their country. Gaza is wholly dependent on Israel for these facilities; Egypt whose power grid is plagued by blackouts is in no position to assist. Does sound like genocide to you? No, me neither.

It is, of course, a completely fanciful scenario – one which no government on this island has ever had to face. And yet, that’s what the Israelis face with the militants in Gaza. Contrary to what Mr Field states in the December issue, the trigger for the recent upsurge in violence wasn’t the looming Israeli elections. Rather it was the dramatic increase in missiles fired at Israel from Gaza between November 10th and 11th when some 125-150 missiles were launched. A number of people were injured and many buildings damaged. An added difficulty is that, unlike Northern Ireland, Gaza is very densely populated. The militants don’t operate in open countryside: their rocket-launchers are positioned in residential areas precisely because the Israelis are then presented with the dilemma of taking

Images: NPR.org, sofrep.com.

So, for all you haughty anti-corporate types: wha ning, I need to lie down. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to make mys bovine-themed caffeinated energy drink. (Other

Motley Wants You

out our we

Motley is looking for contributors in each of the four sections of the magazine. Get in touch with:

Current Affairs - currentaffairs@motley.ie Entertainments - entertainments@motley.ie Features - features@motley.ie Fashion - fashion@motley.ie 6

at do you think of that, eh? Science! Isn’t it great? To be honest, these pictures have my head spinself a toasted ham, cheese and relish sandwich, which may or may not be enjoyed with a certain caffeinated energy drinks are available, always read the label, terms and conditions apply). Images: RedBull.com

SUSI I Love You, SUSI I do, When I’m Alone, My Tummy Grumbles for You!

Motley wants you!

Gavin Lynch-Frahill explores the effects of the ongoing SUSI disaster.

Motley is looking for contributors in each of the four sections of the magazine! What began with much pomp and gusto as the solution to backlogs of applicants for student maintenance grants, in a way that could only happen to the South Dublin Minister for Education Ruairí Quinn, has exploded in his face. The Student Universal Support Ireland project has been on a downward spiral ever since its inception. From debacle to disaster it has now yet again reached a previously unattainable low by a government department (possibly with the exemption of Health and Finance!). SUSI, as it is called, has left thousands of students without confirmation on the future of their education. Ironically I write this on the day that my own grant was approved; I have been seen as one of the lucky few who have been granted my full grant. The majority of applications have been backlogged by endless bureaucracy and mind numbing strings of emails from which there is no escape but to approach the banks for a loan.

All in all, this year has been a disaster for students who have time and time again been hit by the government and there is still no response from us. The masses still see us as the party animals of the tiger years with designer clothes and the best of technology on the piss every night of the week. To these people I ask: can you see the student who can’t afford to go out during the week? If they could, maybe their opinion of us would change.

Current Affairs – currentaffairs@motley.ie

Anyone for a tin of baked beans and a glass of water? No? Well that is what a good portion of our classmates have been living on. Think of them next time you see the Student Hardship piggy bank.

Entertainments – entertainments@motley.ie

Cork Independent recently ran a piece on a student who had their grant cut by half as a result of the changes to the Student Finance in the Budget. It appears that SUSI have actually done a good job for the government, by delaying all of these grant applications they are all now subject to the changes under the December Budget and will save the Government Budget. This has saved the Government €4.8 million, as 6,400 students are now in a higher bracket for the grant. This is a staggering figure as that amount of students has just had €755 wiped from their accounts per year.

Features – features@motley.ie Fashion – fashion@motley.ie

What is even more disturbing is the engagement of TDs in the system. There are many cases that will not go on record, but it is widely known that a phonecall to a local TD can greatly speed up the process. Had the Fine Gael/Labour coalition not gone into Government with the promise to reduce this kind of thing and concentrate on running the country?

We’re also taking submissions for uccmotley.ie – check ebsite after the launch for more details! What SUSI is also lacking is accountability. Who has been reprimanded for this? Surely there is someone to blame. The Government don’t seem too forthcoming to pin it on anyone. Hang on a second… Am I getting Anglo-Irish déjà vu?

Images: SUSI via FeckTV.com, csengecooks.blogspot.ie

Had this been the Department of Social Protection and the applications had been delayed approximately 4 months, there would have been uproar. Families would have been starving. Repossessions would have occurred and heads would have rolled, if not that of Minister Joan Burton herself. Why then is a maintenance payment to students not treated in the same seriousness? Maybe because the government believe students have parents and they should look after them. Well in that case they are right, they do have parents. They are the same parents that Michael Noonan has just shafted in the budget and, being barely able to afford their own mortgages, how can they afford the exuberant rent rates of College Road?

Image: gustotheatre.com

Where are our national representatives gone – the Union of Students in Ireland (USI), who quite recently we ratified affiliation to in a referendum? our own Students’ Union came to the rescue of the starving students by putting together care packages and providing support from the student hardship fund. Even College Dinners, run in UCC, has been a major assistance to students including myself who had found it hard to cope. Maybe it is time for some of these people to go on to a national level…

Losing My Religion Colm Padraig Duffy deplores a situation where the west overlooks incredulous human rights violations to secure interests of their own.

As the world enters another year that will be dominated by economic, political and environmental challenges, we must also remember the peoples that suffer needlessly at the hands of those whom many would view as the economic savior for many countries, including our own. The Rhodium Group estimates that Chinese global investment will total more than €1.6 trillion by 2020 and everyone is eager to get a slice of the pie. China’s human rights violations have been over looked and forgotten by many in the face of economic opportunity. Our own government has led trade missions, secured lucrative trade deals, and welcomed our new Chinese friends to Ireland with open arms during 2012. However, Tibet, a remote Buddhist territory known as the ‘roof of the world’, has seen unprecedented protests in the last 12 months. Since 2011, over 70 Tibetans, mostly monks and nuns, have set themselves on fire in a desperate act to highlight the oppression of the Tibetan people. Until the 1950s, Tibet largely governed itself. It was during the 1950s that China invaded Tibet and assumed control, forcing the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan spiritual leader, into exile in India. Since then China has attempted to crush Tibetan freedoms and culture. The Tibetans are treated as second-class citizens in their own state and discriminated against regarding employment and education. Over the last 60 years the Chinese government has destroyed over 6,000 Buddhist monasteries and shrines, any reference to the Dalai Lama are banned and any uprising or demonstration is met with extreme violence by the 300,000 Chinese soldiers stationed in Tibet. The prisons of Tibet are filled with political prisoners who have used peaceful means to advocate for a free Tibet. The Tibetan people are arrested and tortured for crimes such as waving a Tibetan flag, distributing leaflets, or simply interned without any provocation at all. These prisoners are then tortured in the most brutal of fashions. They are deprived of food, drink and, sleep. Many Tibetans suffer electric shock tortures and beatings; a report issued by the United Nations (UN) claimed that ‘torture in Tibet is widespread and routine’. Among the cases reported is that of a seventeen-year-old girl who was tortured and sentenced to three years in prison for distributing flyers calling for Tibet’s freedom and the return of the Dalai Lama. Others have been sentenced to up to seven years in prison for writing essays, making films or distributing photos of events in Tibet outside of China. The Chinese Government has stopped at nothing to ensure the subjugation of the Tibetan people – even if this meant the abduction and possible killing of children. The Panchen Lama is second in importance only to the Dalai Lama himself. Gendun Choekyi Nyima has been recognized by the Dalai Lama as the 11th Panchen Lama. However in 1995, at the age of six, the Panchen Lama was kidnapped by the Chinese regime. This made him the youngest political prisoner ever. As if this wasn’t outrageous enough, the Chinese Communist leaders then replaced the Panchen Lama with their own hand chosen candidate. This doppelganger has assumed

the position of Panchen Lama since then, and the whereabouts of the true Panchen Lama are still not known to this day. As the plight of the Tibetan people rumbles on without intervention from the international community, the people of Tibet have become increasingly desperate. November saw a group of three Tibetan monks set themselves on fire the night before the Chinese Communist Party congress. According to the activist group Free Tibet, the monks called for the freedom of their country and the return of the Dalia Lama. The youngest of these monks was just fifteen years old. The UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Navi Pillay, said she was disturbed by ‘continuing allegations of violence against Tibetans seeking to exercise their fundamental human rights of freedom of expression, association and religion,’ and pointed to ‘reports of detentions and disappearances, of excessive use of force against peaceful demonstrators, and curbs on the cultural rights of Tibetans.’ ‘I call on the Government to respect the rights to peaceful assembly and expression, and to release all individuals detained for merely exercising these universal rights.’ Beijing denounced the statement, saying it would not tolerate interference in its internal affairs. Qiangba Puncog, legislature chairman of the Tibet Autonomous Region, in a statement regarding the most recent self-immolations, denounced the Dalai Lama, who has been working been working toward greater autonomy for the Tibetan people through peaceful means throughout his exile. ‘They are political victims,’ he said, ‘The Dalai Lama group is using these people. They have no concern for the advancements we made in living standards, improving facilities and making more and more people content and happy.’ Though China may emphasise the development of Tibet economically, the six million people living in Tibet are far from happy. Brutalized, tortured, and murdered, the people of Tibet are still crying out for an international intervention that will ease their suffering. Unfortunately the world is not listening right now. The increasing needs of the global economy have ensured that Chinese human rights violations will not attract the attention of the international community. As we embark on a new year that holds many challenges for all of us, let us not forget the plight of those who suffer in silence merely because our political leaders are too greedy or lack the courage to face down those who treat freedom as a luxury and are more than willing to annihilate the culture and religion of a peaceful people. Images: tibet.no

Taming the Black Dog Orla Hubbard The New Year kicked off with First Fortnight, an arts festival aimed at challenging mental health prejudice and discrimination in Ireland. Last year, mental health in Ireland received unprecedented media coverage following a spate of tragic and high profile suicides, amid strenuous calls for reform. One in four of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. That’s enough of us to fill Croke Park fourteen times over, and it’s six times the number of students who enrolled in all of our Universities and ITs combined in 2012. It is estimated that for every person who takes his or her own life, 20 may attempt to kill themselves. Our Irish mentality, bogged down by tradition and fear, leads us to assume that these 20 people are courting attention, or are simply selfish, while allowing a degree of sympathy for those who actually die by suicide. But their stories are just as tragic, and they are in need of as much help, as that one person who succeeded. As a notionally progressive society it is our duty to change the way we view and interact with people who have mental health issues, from a very personal level up to the highest echelons of government. Stigma has its roots in fear and misunderstanding, and can often be extremely subtle, or even unconscious. This means that many of us fail to grasp just how entrenched our stigma has become. A survey last year found that 62 per cent of people said they would discriminate against hiring someone with a history of mental illness, and 42 per cent felt that undergoing treatment for a mental health problem was a sign of personal failure. As shocking and antiquated as these figures may be, we must accept that this is the reality in Ireland as we enter 2013. More than any other single factor, our attitude towards our mental health is what is dragging us back towards the middle ages. One of the most worrying effects of our imposed stigma is that it actively discourages people in need of mental health supports from seeking them out. St Patrick’s University Hospital has found that stigma and prejudice lead to one in five people delaying seeking treatment for a full year. This delay is particularly critical in a country where our mental health services are stretched to breaking point, and successive administrations refuse to recognise it as an area in need of urgent investment and support. This was compounded over Christmas when it emerged that €35m which had been earmarked for community based mental health services and suicide prevention was used to cover overruns in other areas of the HSE. The government is dipping its hand in the pot at a time when children are still held in adult psychiatric institutions, and In 2012, 270 children and adolescents were waiting for more than a year for an appointment with the HSE.

Organisations such as See Change and Amnesty International have run high profile campaigns over the last two years to try and address some of these issues, but with mixed results. Generally, they have seen an increased awareness of mental health problems and the services available, but have also recorded a greater reluctance to disclose mental health issues in personal and professional relationships. Amnesty International has gone a step further, and is lobbying the government to reform the Mental Health Act 2001 in a number of ways. One of the most fundamental reforms to mental health law in Ireland is coming with the drafting of a new legal capacity bill. Legal capacity is your ability to make decisions about your own life such as how to spend your money or whether you want to receive medical treatment. Your authority to make these decisions can be removed and given to a family member, or, in some cases, the State, if it is decided that you don’t have the mental ability to conduct your own affairs. Taking away a person’s right to make decisions about their own lives is obviously a very delicate and detailed process, and requires the strongest legal safeguards. As it stands, Ireland has one of the most outdated capacity laws in Europe, dating back to 1871. Hopefully a thorough consultation process will modernise the law on mental capacity to guarantee that vulnerable people do not slip through the net, while ensuring that we never remove such a basic human right unless it is absolutely necessary. If we want to see any of this change, we need to make mental health awareness a core part of the school curriculum, and to build people’s confidence in our mental health services. Most universities run very active and engaging campaigns to encourage students to look after their mental health and to talk to their peers if they’re under pressure. However the reality is that for a lot of people mental health problems develop before they come to university, if they choose to attend university at all. In those situations there are very few supports available. We need to show that we are serious about addressing and treating mental health problems in a modern and effective way if we can ever hope to break prejudices from the grassroots up. Currently, just three of Ireland’s 61 in-patient mental health facilities are fully compliant with the (lax) requirements of mental health legislation. This needs to change. If the HSE don’t see mental health as a serious priority, and something we need to invest in, then they can’t honestly expect the wider community to see it any differently. Images: time-to-change.org.uk, amnesty.ie.

Return to Strike? In the face of CIE workers’ decision to withdraw their threat of strike action, Alan Conway discusses the likelihood of strike in the near future, and why it is an action worthy of our support.

It first appeared when I set out to write this piece that the unionised workers of CIE would be engaging in widespread strike, a threat that has since been withdrawn. However, I think the merits still stand, as a whole, given that it is quite likely we will see large scale strike action in some sector in the coming years, if not months.

that is likely to enter employment on lesser terms, with a lesser wage, and with greater education-related debt – fully in the knowledge that it was previous union administrators that facilitated the arrangements that see them on better terms – large-scale industrial action is not just likely, it will fast become an inevitability.

What first struck me was the effect it would have on me. Journeys to and from both college and work would become much less comfortable, and much longer in duration as I traversed the city by foot. In this regard, it is quite understandable that people would be angered by strike action that inconveniences them greatly. In the following paragraphs I hope to make the argument as to why that argument is justified, and why far from being the direction of our ire, strikers are entirely deserving of our unfettered sympathy and support.

During a discussion with a colleague in recent weeks, they suggested to me that the reason strikes have been avoided thus far is not because the union leadership are not up for a fight, but it is because they realise that during the time of ‘social partnership’, in holding up their end of the accord they have taken all the fight out of their members; that they are willing to lead, but that members may not be willing to follow. As a new generation enters the workforce in the coming years, a generation that has never seen the benefits of ‘social partnership’, and now finds itself a second-class employee, there can be little doubt that an appetite will exist.

From a starting point, there’s a great Australian video on YouTube called, ‘What Have The Unions Ever Done For Us?’, a parody of the famous Life of Brian scene on the Romans. In summary: a minimum wage, the weekend, holiday pay, sick pay & health and safety laws, amongst many others. Did the unions sell us out during the boom? ‘Yes’ is probably a fair answer, as senior union bosses are probably as likely still to smoke their cigar as any captain of industry. However, a union is not its management; it is at its most important an amalgamation of the interests of its general workers.

It could be nurses, teachers, CIE workers or any other. We could scorn them and say the unions had their day in the sun, but at its core, when strikes do come, it’s not going to be about the finer details of pensions of holiday time – it will be an older and simpler traditional union request of a fair wage for an honest days work. I don’t believe anyone can begrudge a generation, coming of age, of that.

Let’s look at the details of the scheme proposed to be put in place in Bus Éireann that led to the initial call to strike. There were a number of ‘cost saving measures’, and when considered as a whole there may have even been individual details that appeared somewhat acceptable, if not entirely reasonable. Perhaps losing a few days holidays a year isn’t the worst during a recessionary time in which we all have to ‘feel the pain’, as the mantra goes. But upon investigation what becomes apparent is that the programme being offered has one agenda: the cuts that take money out of peoples pockets are being made at the lower end, and management are being broadly protected at a cost to the average worker in the organisation. This programme serves as an adequate example of the agenda being pursued across the public sector. We are far more likely to cut the paltry pay of nursing students than to engage in a reform of consultancy rates at the other end of the spectrum.

Images: IrishTimes.com, CitizensFreePressIreland.com.

At the current juncture, this strike has been averted. Rather surprisingly, there has been very little in the way of large-scale industrial action since the beginning of this recession. That this is sustainable is so in a manner akin to how Ireland’s debt is sustainable. That is, it is entirely not. With the expiration of the Croke Park Agreement, protections will be removed from much of the workforce – this is an irrelevancy to many, as the Agreement will have served its purpose in protecting those in the upper-echelons and giving them time to retire, payments intact. That these members are to be augmented with an emerging generation

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entertainments

Mister Nice

Richard Sheehy talks with Howard Marks

Howard Marks is a Welsh author and former international drug smuggler. Through his work he was connected to the IRA, the CIA and the Mafia as well as being recruited as an M16 agent due to his connections in the drug trade. He rose to fame as Britain’s most wanted man in the 80s and earned the nickname ‘Mr Nice’ after using the passport of convicted murderer Donald Nice. When an amplifier containing a consignment of drugs was left behind in a New York airport, Marks was implicated and this lead to him being sentenced to 25 years in prison. Marks was released on parole after seven years due to good behaviour. Since then he has released numerous books including bestselling autobiography Mr Nice which was recently made into a major motion picture starring Rhys Ifans and Chloe Sevigny. In the UK, Marks has been one of the faces of the cannabis legalisation movement and in ’97 he ran for UK Parliament on that single issue which lead to the formation of the Legalise Cannabis Alliance in the UK. Currently he’s preparing to tour a new show titled ‘Scholar, Smuggler, Prisoner, Scribe’ with sketches about each aspect of his life. ‘Scholar’ - You attended Oxford University in the late 60s, where you made many friends who later helped you in many capacities with smuggling. Was there a big drug culture present in Oxford that sucked you in or were you one of the early trendsetters? I suppose I was one of the early trendsetters but I wasn’t the first; there was quite a culture going on there. In those days, dope smoking was always a privilege of middle-class academics rather than working class people. So there was a bit of a culture going but I embraced it, very enthusiastically.

When you returned to Oxford in ’69 you would have been attending the same time as former US President Bill Clinton, who now supports drug decriminalisation. Did you know him back then or have any run-ins? No, we did live in the same place but at different times, literally the same room but I’ve no recollection of actually meeting anyone who didn’t inhale.

Are government agencies involved in the drug trade? Yeah they are involved; they either have to stamp it out or be part of it – and generally they settle for being part of it.

You were caught importing cannabis in 1980, but you managed to escape prison after you used the defence of being an undercover M16 agent. Did you go into that case confident or were you surprised at the outcome? I was very surprised at the outcome, that was my defence but I was absolutely astonished when it worked.

As a wanted man on the run you probably got to see quite a lot of the world, did you have any favourite places or particular havens? Three spring to mind – Taiwan, Pakistan and Jamaica!

‘Smuggler’ – what initially attracted you to smuggling? All smuggling was done for money, dealing beforehand was done to pay for my habit. And then it was a transition from dealing to smuggling? Yes, the bigger the dealer you become the greater the likelihood of meeting a smuggler, because smugglers need dealers.

You smuggled through Ireland with Jim McCann from the IRA at a time when they were publicly against the drug trade. Was Jim McCann an isolated figure, or do you believe there was more drug involvement from the group? Well Jim McCann is the only person, I think, in the history of time whom the IRA have felt the need to say ‘no, he’s not one of us’. They haven’t said that about anyone else, ever. So whether he was a member of the IRA or not, is debatable. The IRA say no, and I’m not going to argue with them.

‘Prisoner’ - You served 7 years at Terre Haute Penitentiary, one of America’s toughest prisons. What was your approach to surviving that environment? To help other people as much as possible and to keep myself physically fit. Those were the two main things: I was a jailhouse lawyer and I taught the English grammar. I overturned one conviction completely and reduced the sentence of a number of others.

Youre upcoming show in Cork is in connection with UCC Drug Awareness and Reform Society. Do you believe that society needs to be more open about drugs? I would be in favour of being more open about anything really, I’m a strong proponent of legalisation, I can’t see any argument against it really.

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“It [violence] has increased significantly and will only continue to increase until legalised. It’s a consequence of prohibition rather than a consequence of drugs “ Many people are calling for legalisation centered on human rights and health issues. Which do you feel is a more prominent reason? I would think the health reason, just about any drug would be safer in society if legalised and controlled. So just on a harm reduction level, I happen to agree with the human rights issue as well but I feel health is the prominent issue.

If cannabis was legalised do you believe there would be an increase in consumption? I think there would be a slight increase in consumption, but I don’t think everyone would be walking around smoking dope. There would be an increase in consumption as those people who would have been fearful of breaking the law will try it, but there wouldn’t be a massive increase.

One aspect of today’s drug war is the violence associated with drug gangs and cartels. Has violence increased since you were involved or was it always there and you chose to avoid it? It has increased significantly and I think it will only continue to increase until legalised. It’s a consequence of prohibition rather than a consequence of drugs. What for you is the biggest argument against Prohibition? There are no controls in the black market. Therefore there’s no control over what impurities might be in the substance or the strength of the substance. There’s just no control over it really.

‘Scribe’ - You’ve a bestselling book Mr Nice, which has now been made into a motion picture with Rhys Ifans. How much input did you have into the movie and were you happy with your portrayal? I didn’t have any creative input into the movie at all, absolutely none! They just took what they wanted from the book, but I was very, very happy with Rhys’ portrayal of me. We’ve known each other for so long he couldn’t get it wrong really.

So did you handpick Rhys for the role? That’s right, I don’t think anyone else could have done it.

You’ve recently released a fiction novel called Sympathy for the Devil. Can you tell readers what that’s about? It’s a regular ‘whodunnit’. It takes place in South Wales, it involves drugs but it’s not heavily concerned with drugs, and it’s loosely inspired by the disappearance of Richie Edwards of the Manic Street Preachers. It’s a chess game between the author and the reader, if the reader gets it before the end the author has lost.

And finally, a topic which has sparked much heated discussion online, if you had to have a fight to the death, would you rather fight a giant horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses? 100 duck sized horses, as at least I’d kill a few of them.

Howard brings his new show ‘Scholar, Smuggler, Prisoner, Scribe’ to UCC Boole 4 Lecture Hall on Thursday 7th February. For further details please see UCC Drug Awareness and Reform’s facebook page or follow our QR Code to the event page.

Howard’s Favourites Film: Mean Streets, the first Martin Scorsese film. TV show: Any rugby match. Album: Blonde on Blonde, by Bob Dylan. Artist: Probably Elvis. Rhys Ifans as Howard in Mr. Nice

Images: Random House, Contender Entertainment

music

Hudson Taylor

Leah Driscoll reviews one of YouTube’s successes.

Fresh off the release of their new EP Cinematic Lifestyle, Hudson Taylor were raring to give it their all on stage and give it their all is exactly what they did. Twenty year old Harry and eighteen year old Alfie make up the handsome, guitar strumming duo who have gained a loyal following through YouTube in recent years. This was made clear by the size of the crowd who showed up to their pre-Christmas gig to bask in the folk pop music of these undeniably talented siblings. Cyprus Avenue provided a perfectly intimate venue for an electric crowd who were with Hudson Taylor every step of the way. The brothers travelled through their wide variety of sounds, initially drawing the crowd in with the upbeat ‘Drop of Smoke’ and ‘Hideaway’. As they silenced the crowd, they bravely performed songs such as ‘Butterflies’ without a microphone. Admittedly, this was not entirely successful in a crowd consisting mostly of hypedup students, but it did display the strength and natural talent of Harry and Alfie’s voices as well as their enthusiasm to experiment with their performances.

The performance was as polished and rousing as groups who have toured all of their lives. Their inexperience was made clear in only one way; their sheer surprise and ecstasy at the energy of the crowd, something which can only be found among young and vibrant acts like themselves. It was clear that the appreciation was mutual as the brothers described the gig as ‘the best gig we have ever played.’ Not only was this gig proof of the talent of this duo, it has also shown the power of YouTube to promote home grown talent. As Hudson Taylor begin touring the UK in February, it can be guaranteed that these brothers are stepping out of our computer screens and on to the big time.

Hudson Taylor introduced the crowd to some of their new music, including the particularly impressive ‘Weapons’. From this taste of their new music it is clear that their sound is maturing. We saw a more vulnerable side to them, one that had not been shown to us before. As the gig drew to a close, there was no need to leave before the encore, as Hudson Taylor were as ready as we were to give more. Due to overwhelming demand from the crowd, the duo topped off an enchanting gig with an impromptu performance of their quirky mash up ‘Lose Yourself/Walking on a Flume’. The gig finished on a high and confirmed what most people who turned out that night were already aware of; Hudson Taylor know what they’re doing on stage.

Rating: Hudson Taylor can be found on their YouTube channel, HudsonTaylorMusic. Their EP, Cinematic Lifestyle, is available to download on iTunes. Details of their tour are updated on their Facebook page regularly. Images: dublinconcerts.ie,

Living with the Villagers Eimear Hurley reviews {Awayland}.

Perhaps for the first time ever, I hesitated a little when the iTunes window asked me: ‘are you sure you want to buy and download [insert album title here]?’ Because this was no ordinary album. This was the follow-up to Becoming a Jackal, the record that swooped into my life during the dreaded Leaving Cert and took me somewhere far more inspirational than Honours English ever could. The term is thrown around a lot these days, but I mean it: Villagers’ first album changed my life. I shook myself out of my momentary apprehensiveness and downloaded the album. I don’t really know what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn’t anticipating this. The opening track, ‘My Lighthouse’ is a familiar, slow, guitar-based number, which sounds a bit like one of the songs from Becoming a Jackal was reinvented by Conor J O’Brien while on seaside holiday. Then the opening lyrics of ‘Earthly Pleasure’: ‘Naked on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth / When he suddenly acquired an overwhelming sense of doubt’ make you sit up and listen, ready to be taken away on the musical journey that is {Awayland}. Becoming a Jackal was a phenomenal achievement, earning an Ivor Novello award for its title track, a Mercury nomination, and spurring Conor J. and Co. to go on a worldwide tour. This time around, then, the pressure was on for Villagers to top their Mercury-nominated debut. This album proves that they’ve become more of a unit. The first record was written and recorded by the multitalented O’Brien, but his collaboration with his bandmates on this record gives it its variety and power. Full of exciting new sounds but framed with familiar harmonies, are {Awayland} will prove a treat for Villagers fans old and new.

Becoming a Jackal was an exciting debut, despite being filled with largely same-y instrumentation. The list of instruments used on this album includes synths, brass and strings, and plenty of electronic additions to the usual Villagers guitar, bass, keys and drums set-up. Tracks like ‘In a Newfound Land You Are Free’ that remind us why Conor J O’Brien and co made it in the first place, while the electronica-infused ‘The Waves’ and the funk-influenced ‘Passing a Message’ will show first-time listeners that there’s more to Villagers than the angel-faced O’Brien and his little guitar. Conor J O’Brien’s lyrics are varied in theme and characteristically vivid, but the gorgeous, instrumental title track speaks as movingly as O’Brien’s thoughtful lyrics. Despite all his depth and originality, however, by the album’s final track, ‘Rhythm Composer’, O’Brien is singing cheese like ‘honey, the rhythm composes you.’ He owns it, though, as only he could. A sense of childlike wonder pervades {Awayland}. The child on cover, his back to us, looking inward from the shore onto a strange, distorted landscape, and O’Brien’s cynical lyrics “We’ve got to get the kids before they grow/God forbid they retain their sense of wonder” hint at Villagers’ wish to return to childhood. Musically, {Awayland} attempts this. Endlessly diverse and absorbing, it is a daring album, the likes of which don’t come along very often. Rating: Villagers will play The Savoy, Cork on the 19th of March.

Image: Domino.

The Impossible

film

Gary McKeating looks at Bayona’s recent film success. The Impossible is an intense and emotionally charged story that Juan Antonio Bayona masterfully paints across the cinematic screen. Bayona’s look at the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami that claimed the lives of an estimated 230,000 people manages to depict both the emotional and physical damage caused by the disaster. The film is based on the true story of what Maria, Henry and their three young children, Lucas, Thomas and Simon. went through on that fateful day. Their story happens during the Christmas period and Bayona uses this to emphasize the blissful emotion that the family found themselves in right before disaster struck. This works extremely well for when the tsunami strikes; it tugs immediately and heavily at the viewer’s emotions. The tsunami itself is an extremely graphic and well shot scene that brings about many a grimace. The scene is both terrific and horrendous; it brings a feeling of unease and a want to look away but the action and plight of the characters draw you even more into their world on that fateful day. Most of the film observes the outcome of the lives of Maria and her son Lucas. Maria is played by Naomi Watts and the actress steals the show. Watts’s portrayal of Maria’s struggle to get her eldest son to safety

throughout the horrific ordeal is her finest showing to date and has earned the British-Australian actress a thoroughly deserved Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. Ewan McGregor plays Henry, her husband, and Tom Holland stars as the eldest son, Lucas. Both these actors deliver fine performances but are overshadowed by both Naomi Watts and the direction of Juan Antonio Bayona. Bayona’s performance behind the camera is immense as he deftly draws the emotions out of the audience with every passing frame. The direction of the movie in the end is its saving grace from a weak script. The story of the tsunami is an amazing tale of a natural disaster causing immeasurable destruction, but, unfortunately, the story of the family does not tell that whole tale. This is the film’s main fault and its lack of local interaction is massively blatant at times. The attention on the tsunami should possibly have covered the local Thai people and the plight they endured, but it instead focuses mainly on the westerners who were there when the tsunami hit. Even when McGregor is searching for his wife and eldest son he is accompanied by all westerners and driven by a Thai man. The films lack of acknowledging the Thai people and what they went through takes away from an otherwise thoroughly enjoyable and emotionally draining experience. Rating:

Welcome to the 85th Annual Hosting Controversy! Nicole Clinton examines Hollywood’s quest to find the perfect host. While ‘January through February’ is the most depressing period of the year for us mere mortals, the Hollywood calendar is pretty much built around their most glamorous and exciting season: Award Season. And though it’s supposed to be about recognising the greatest films and performances of the year, this intention is often overshadowed by the fashion, the politics and the entertainment factor of the ceremonies. With the hosts of the shows getting more press than the actual winners, mostly for the wrong reasons, one wonders what they really have to do to please the audience. This year the Academy Awards’ producers have selected Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane to host the show. Their choice was obviously swayed by the success of last summers Ted but his humour is hardly the sort associated with a prestigious show like the Academy Awards. This is evidence that they are chasing high television ratings and the ever-valuable younger audience. This desire has become a key factor in choosing a host. Even James Franco himself stated that the selection of himself and Anne Hathaway to host the 2011 show was ‘an obvious ploy by the Academy to attract younger viewers’. That brings us to the most controversial hosting saga of the last decade. They were young, good-looking

and talented. They exuded charisma in the pre-show interviews and they starred in genuinely entertaining promos. But after huge anticipation that Franco and Hathaway would bring the Oscars into a new era with their youth, critics slammed their performance. They claimed that Franco looked ‘stoned’ and ‘disinterested’, failing to recognise that that is just how the California native speaks. In fact, they generally ignored Hathaway’s embarrassing OTT performance and blamed everything on him. However, now he just makes a joke out of it all explaining that his regular ‘heroin dealer was out of town at the time and he got some bad stuff that weekend’. Anytime a host is accused of doing a bad job, everyone calls out for Billy Crystal to return as he had hosted the show eight times in an era when everybody watched it. After the publicity saga when Eddie Murphy was going to host the 2012 show imploded in a sort of sex scandal (Google ‘Brett Ratner and Olivia Munn’), Crystal was invited back. Hailed as the ‘return of the prodigal son’, the veteran stayed true to form and entertained but the whole thing was forgotten after a week. But at least it stopped the world from crying ‘Billy would have done it better’ after every hosting controversy. The Oscars’ producers’ obsession with attracting the casual cinemagoers will soon begin to alienate true movie fans who love the show for what it is. The average person does not want to devote five hours of their last

Sunday in February to watching it, but the film fan will nevertheless. The integrity of the show is at risk and we don’t need another MTV Movie Awards. The ratings drop has no relation to the host but rather to a modern life where you can watch everything on the internet. The question we really need to ask is: what do they actually want? The host swinging from the ceiling naked? Well, if the Academy does decide to go with that option, let’s all hope they call back James Franco or Hugh Jackman.

Images: Aceshowbiz

A Future Cult Classic: Repo! The Genetic Opera

Mary Collins visits the future… and it isn’t pretty. Imagine a post-apocalyptic society, a world torn and broken by a mysterious epidemic that stole the lives of millions in one of the most painful ways imaginable: organ failure. Out of the ashes of the horrific tragedy, a multibillion biotech company emerges as the saviour of mankind; GeneCo. They offer ‘organ financing’; you can have a fully functional organ of your choice, and they even break it down to monthly payments so even the most destitute have hope. They also developed a new, more effective painkiller, Zydrate, to help with the pain. Surgery becomes a fashion statement and it seems like God himself put them here to help – until GeneCo’s founder, Rotti Largo, lobbies a bill through congress legalizing organ repossession for those who can’t keep up with the repayments. This gives rise to the most terrifying of creatures: Repomen – people whose job it is to hunt down people behind in their repayments and take back GeneCo’s property using whatever force is necessary. And so we enter the bleak world that is the setting for Repo! The Genetic Opera. Based on a play by Darren Smith and Terrence Zdunich, it follows the story of Shiloh Wallace, a young woman hidden away by her father, Dr Nathan Wallace, after supposedly inheriting her deceased mother’s rare blood disease, and the revelation of her family’s intricate past with the corporate monster GeneCo, particularly its founder, Rottissimo ‘Rotti’ Largo. He has his own problems. Having just been diagnosed with a terminal disease, he has to deal with three greedy, damaged children (Luigi, Pavi and Amber Sweet) all vying to find out who will the CEO of GeneCo when he dies.

The premise is delightfully chilling, if a little too close to home. That with a few missed payments one could lose everything is a horrible idea that some have already had to face in this world. The idea that with one missed payment one could lose their life is unimaginable. (The original play came about when the writer’s friend was going bankrupt and was facing foreclosure, which inspired the idea that if one’s possessions could be repossessed, what about one’s body parts?) It is a harsh world to live in, bearing in mind that it is set in the 21st century. The storyline has more twists and turns than an old country road, but it manages to stay riveting throughout. An interesting concept, comic style panels were used during the movie to ‘fill in the gaps’ of the characters histories, which worked beautifully. It was informative (and at times shocking) but it stopped the movie becoming bogged down in details of events long finished, and it kept the movie feeling fast paced. A rock opera, it has an unusual vibe to it. In a world where musicals abound, it isn’t something that I had come across before, but it has a certain charm. There are some stellar musical performances in the movie. Alexa Vega, of Spy Kids fame, is wonderfully haunting as Shiloh, the somewhat heroine of the

piece, and Sarah Brightman as the tragic Blind Mag is enchanting as always. Paul Sorvino, as Rotti Largo, has a voice that reverberated with authority and quakes in your chest. Paris Hilton as Amber Sweet, although her voice leaves a lot to be desired, actually works wonders. She is obviously aware that she is basically playing a parody of her public persona: a doped up spoilt heiress, with more money than sense, and so much plastic surgery that her face barely remains attached. Anthony Head of Buffy the Vampire fame is utterly convincing as Nathan Wallace, the doctor between the normal life he desperately wants to return to and his forced atonement for mistakes pinned on him by others. My favourite character has to be Graverobber, portrayed by Terrence Zdunich, one of the original writers. He makes his living stealing Zydrate from the skulls of freshly buried corpses and supplying the city’s drug dens with the latest narcotic fix, including Amber Sweet herself. The dulcet tones of the narrator of the story help set the atmosphere for the entire experience. The songs themselves tend to be more catchy than soul stirring, and some toe the line of becoming almost repetitive. The most heartfelt song has to be ‘Legal Assassin’, in which Nathan laments the loss of his wife Marni and the life he once lead, saying that his daughter is all he has left in this life now. You can hear the pain in his voice at the loss he has had to deal with, and the lie his life has become. The catchiest song,’ Zydrate Anatomy’ is my favourite though, and that’s the one that will bounce around your head long after the movie is over. Sung by Graverobber, Amber Sweet and Shiloh with a rousing chorus of Zydrate addicts around, it teaches us about Zydrate, what it’s for and how it’s used. The special effects are somewhat lacklustre but as the movie is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, the same man who brought us Saw, this was to be expected. Infuriating as it is to an anatomist or anyone who knows that is NOT what the human body looks like on the inside, it actually works out better for the story. The horror isn’t supposed to come from the gore, it’s supposed to come from the idea of living in a world where even your body isn’t your own, when everyone and everything is for sale and society’s morals are governed by the person with the deepest pockets. Overall, Repo! The Genetic Opera is what it set out to be: a gory parody of a world torn apart by an obsession with image set to a rocking soundtrack. Although it is very much an acquired taste, the story is captivating, and the music is well done. Destined for cult royalty? I think so.

Images: Lionsgate

The Redemption of Bobcat Sarah England looks at the resurgence of an 80s favourite His portrayal of Zed McGlunk, the bizarrely-voiced punk-turnedcop of the Police Academy movies entertained many a child of the 80s, but with the appeal of these films waning in the 90s, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait seemed destined to become something of a pop culture footnote. However, a mid-life induced concern with his legacy has seen him go behind the camera to write and direct a number of astute pitch-black comedies, such as World’s Greatest Dad and, most recently, God Bless America. These films mark something of an artistic about-turn for Goldthwait, allowing him to transcend his early career choices.

He dipped his toe into writing and directing with Shakes the Clown in the early 90s, which was poorly received at the time but allegedly dubbed ‘the Citizen Kane of Alcoholic Clown Movies’ by none other than Martin Scorsese. However, Goldthwait’s directing career can be said to have begun in earnest with Sleeping Dogs Lie in 2006. The premise sounds like the basis for dated Farrelly Brothers type grossout comedy – a woman performs oral sex on a dog. However, like any good comedian, it’s all in how he tells them. This is ‘a heart-warming dog-blowjob movie’, according to the director himself (and might I add that the ‘action’ takes place off-scene). The film is about the fallout following the woman’s admission of this incident to her fiancé – so the real issue at hand is actually the notion of honesty in relationships. As a director, Goldthwait is more interested in character-based films rather than joke driven ones. In an interview with Amber Wilkinson of Eye for Film, Goldthwait explains: ‘To me, the movie is about a woman being happy… I think she’s sabotaging herself from being happy. I think, if she hadn’t had this thing in the past, she would have used something else to mess her life up’. Having been well received, Sleeping Dogs Lie allowed Goldthwait to move onto bigger pastures with World’s Greatest Dad, starring Robin Williams. Again, the director defies the audiences expectations – on seeing a Robin Williams film with this title, you’d probably think it’s some schmaltzy comedy of the likes of Father’s Day – a film where maybe ‘a giant dog leaves muddy prints through the house, or something, all over his blueprints he’s designed,’ as Goldthwait himself joked. World’s Greatest Dad is, instead, a moving portrayal of failure and our culture’s skewed notions of success. Here, Williams is a high school English teacher and failed writer – a sad sack polar opposite of his Dead Poet’s Society character. When his obnoxious, hate-filled son accidentally asphyxiates himself whilst ‘jerking off ’, Williams’ character writes a fake suicide note in order to somewhat restore his son’s dignity – and the note ends up moving and inspiring his students and colleagues. So, he inadvertently realises his writing ambitions, and the obnoxious son becomes a martyr. With turns both moving and funny World’s Greatest Dad fulfils what Goldthwait wants as his legacy: make ’em laugh, but also make ’em think.

As he gets older, the material gets darker – his latest, God Bless America, is a sort of modern day Bonnie and Clyde or Falling Down, concerning a middle-aged man, Frank, who despairs of modern culture and goes on a killing rampage with a teenage girl, Roxy. God Bless America was inspired by, of all things, My Super Sweet 16: ‘I thought: these children should die. It horrified me’. We’ve all been there folks, amirite? Novelty ringtones also served as fodder: ‘there was the commercial for a ringtone that sounds like a farting elephant. I looked at my wife and said, “Okay, we’re going to have to get some guns.” It really hurt my feelings.’ Like a true artist, Goldthwait shines a light on the state we’re in – a world where ‘a lack of shame can make you a celebrity now.’ His move into ‘seriously funny’ film-making is not to be read as some sort of artistic atonement for past ills. Reaching middle age has seen Bobcat Goldthwait assess what he will ultimately leave behind: ‘I would love someday if I was lucky enough to keep making movies and people say, “He was in Police Academy? What were those movies?” I know that if I drop dead, my obituary photo is going to be me in a police uniform. But I’d be really happy if I was also known as someone who made movies.’ He needn’t protest so much. Whilst his depiction of Zed lives on thanks to the wonders of YouTube (look up ‘The Best of Zed’ for a truly ear-splitting 1 minute 44 seconds), with his new body of work as a writer and director, his legacy as a taboo-busting auteur is assured.

Images: setholenick.com, Magnolia Pictures, Warner Bros

tv It’s Almost October 19th! Emma Mc Carthy recounts some of Community’s best moments in anticipation for the fourth season. Any Community fan will understand why February 7th is now known as October 19th and seethe a little inside. We eagerly waited all summer for the return of the much underrated comedy and what do NBC do? Stall it for four months! It’s just another in a long line of mistakes that the network has made in regards to one of its best shows. Lack of proper advertising, shutting down the show mid-season during its third run, only starting back up again after a massive fan protest and firing show runner Dan Harmon are just a few of the many faux pas that NBC have made. Now with the departure of Chevy Chase and head writer Megan Ganz (the brain behind such episodes as the Law and Order salute ‘Basic Lupine Urology’ and ‘Cooperative Calligraphy,’ it’s hard to see what can save Community.’ With thirteen episodes of the fourth season still to come, I’ve decided to look to the past and pick out a few gems which remind us that even though we got very little of Community, there’s still a lot of quality in the small quantity. Paintball It’s hard to forget the first time you saw Modern Warfare and realised that Community was a little different from other shows. The thought of ‘Priority Registration’ turning the entire school into a warzone with apocalyptic intensity made the half hour feel like a full blown action movie. There were sneak attacks, romance, a dig at Glee and Ken Jeong walking in slow motion into a study room with a paintball machine gun and Chinese opera in the background. The episode was as close to perfection as sitcoms could get. The way these comedy actors could pull off the seriousness while remaining hilarious was as commendable as the writing of the episode itself. It was only expected that the next season would have a sequel with Greendale facing off against their rival, City College, in a bid to save their school, first in a Sergio Leone style western and then in a Star Wars homage. As Leonard put it: ‘I’ve been a few real wars, but this one is actually the most terrifying.’ The Zombie Outbreak Community’s second season Halloween episode is right up there with paintballing, in my opinion. After Dean Pelton gets the party food from an army surplus store, some of the guests start acting a little… strange. When they start infecting the other guests by biting them, people start to panic. The story is well thought out and fits well within the show’s timeframe. The conclusion of the piece isn’t really that satisfying, but it’s made up for with the amount of jokes that don’t even surround the zombies. The insane cat, the ABBA soundtrack, and Troy being the first black guy to make it to the end are all reasons that the episode gets on the list. The fact that the show can be a comedy within a dire situation and have the comedy not be solely about the overall theme is a nuance that Community has really perfected.

The Clip Show Whenever an episode of The Simpsons or something comes on and I see that they cobbled together a clip show, I usually change the channel. It’s lazy writing and doesn’t need attention since they’re old jokes. Community’s clip shows are the complete opposite. Starting in the second season with ‘Paradigms of Human Memory’ and showing up again in ‘Curriculum Unavailable’, the show has the characters reminiscing about events the audience have never seen. The function of the episode gives everyone involved more work to do, even the audience because we get fractured memories. We have to put together what might have happened overall ourselves. What were the study group doing on a raft on St. Patrick’s Day? Why were Mexican drug-lords going to kill Pierce? ‘Curriculum’ doesn’t give us questions - rather, it shows us how the characters work when the audience isn’t there. It’s incredible that the show can start off, seeming to give us a cop-out and then give one of the most detailed, thought out and in-joke crammed pieces of television ever made. 8-BIT In its third season, Community features an episode that was almost completely in video game form. The episode was like watching an 80s Mario game and throughout the episode, all I thought was ‘I would love to play that game’. The actual episode isn’t the reason this makes the list, even though it was a great episode with Breaking Bad star Giancarlo Esposito, but rather, what the episode created. Some wonderful souls on Reddit started creating the game. It’s there, you can play it. You can pick a character and go through what the show did. It’s not perfect yet, but they update the game regularly. It shows that the fans make Community as well as the cast and crew. Here’s hoping the journey isn’t over yet and we have more time. Or should I say, space?

Images: NBC

books Michael Scott Daniel Boland speaks with author Michael Scott following the success of his books. Michael Scott is an established Irish writer best known for The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel series. The books centre around a set of twins prophesied to save the world and the events they experience along the way. There is a great deal of mythology woven into the texts, providing a well-researched and thrilling reading experience. Michael never saw himself as a writer growing up. He explains: ‘I wanted to be a librarian; my mother wanted me to be an accountant. I ended up as a bookseller.’ He wrote his first book in 1982 and it was published a year later. When asked why he became a writer his answer was something any avid reader has experienced at one point or another: ‘I became a writer because I was a reader and if you are a reader then, sooner or later, you will want to tell your own stories rather than read someone else’s work.’ As a self-confessed ‘voracious reader’ Michael finds it hard to pinpoint one particular book that has inspired him most in life. Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain was mentioned as one but Michael was quick to point out it has to be ‘the original version.’ In relation to mythology he names Joseph Campbell, the great American mythologist, as ‘an enormous influence’ on his writing. Michael explains that there were a number of steps when considering himself a successful writer. ‘When I finally gave up the day job to write full time was a huge step’ he states. It was when The Alchemyst, the first of the Flamel books, went onto The New York Times’ bestsellers list that he was able to acknowledge that he was a successful writer. Michael always wanted to write a series of books which incorporated world mythology in some shape or form. While researching, he discovered that many mythology stories are very similar or identical in parts of the world. It was at this point Michael ‘knew that the basis of the story would be in myth and legend.’ The series truly came together for the

author when he was in Paris and he visited Nicholas Flamel’s house in the Rue de Montmorency; at this point Michael realised that there lay the hero of his series. Writing a novel isn’t always easy. Michael describes it as a discipline and how easy it is to become distracted. He acknowledges that he certainly wrote a lot more before he had access to the internet, but researching was a lot harder. Another problem for Michael and many writers is becoming overly critical with just a section of your work and rewriting it endlessly instead of pressing on. Don’t let that put you off because Michael also gives some excellent advice for pursuing a career in writing. He advises to ‘write a little every day – even if you throw it away the following day.’ It is important to know where your piece is going, and as such Michael suggests writing the ending first so you have a conclusion to the piece and know what you are working towards. With his The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel series finished, I asked Michael what he was currently writing, to which he secretively replied: ‘the next series is The Earthlords, a mythic fantasy series.’

Image: dillonscott.com, Doubleday Children’s.

A Glance at Frank O’Hara Dean Browne takes a glimpse at the poet. There is a certain casual, improvised quality in the poems of Frank O’Hara. He writes about the New York experience, wishing to chronicle the events of his life there without imposing on them an established form. He makes no attempt to contain the city, but instead the form is dictated by the emotional demands of the moment, making possible a broader access of compositional freedom. Any attempt to associate himself with those poets who practiced the hermetically tight and traditional forms might have meant a courting of mediocrity to O’Hara, who was far more interested in the experimental character of the work of Rimbaud, Beckett and the surrealists. O’Hara is routinely considered to be of the New York School of poetry and painting with which he was closely associated, and indeed the path his own work was to take would place him comfortably among this set. His work was strongly influenced by the visual arts, especially the Abstract Expressionism of such painters as Jackson Pollock, and the fact that O’Hara was himself curator of art at the Museum of Modern Art, New York, attests to his daily closeness to the singular methods of these painters. It was in the world of art that he earned his living organising major exhibitions and promoting the work of Pollock and other artists.

the poem was written, and for whom, we can assume, the poet had some affection. It strikes me as a reader that there is an almost banal exactness about the content of this poem that contrasts sharply with the loosely rendered form (like most of his work, it is written in free verse). O’Hara might have baulked at literary devices such as ‘assonance, rhythm, all that stuff ’, but his attention to detail is generous. There is a step-by-step up-closeness to the piece, and we are granted the poet’s thought-process and all the natural divagations of his consciousness, which might reflect also the arbitrariness of events in the context of this singer’s death. There are some interesting effects in this poem; for example, it is as though the art of poetry is being, as it were, elevated to an everyday thing, and without fuss. There is nothing strange for the poet in evoking the shade of the French symbolist Paul Verlaine while munching a hamburger. There is nothing strange for him in juxtaposing the two. The ‘culturedness’ about him has been brought into congruence with the simpler pleasures of his environment, and the casualness of his execution is a refreshment.

The fact that all this informed his poetry is evident. In his poem ‘Why I am not a Painter’ (‘I am not a painter, I am a poet. / Why? I think I would rather be / a painter, but I am not…’), we observe not only the admiration he had for the artists by whom he was surrounded, but also the reinforcement of poetry for him as something vital and firmly lodged in his centre of identity. ‘I am a poet’, he says: the inescapability of this is patent, and there is a pleasure to be derived from it, if also some reflection on the possibilities of an unattainable elsewhere. In 1959, O’Hara wrote a mock manifesto called ‘Personism’, the name he gave to an ideal to be striven for in the writing of poetry. The approach – which he amusingly confesses ‘may be the death of literature as we know it’ – requires that we dispense with the ‘elaborately sounded structures’ to achieve the ease of conversational tones, which in turn ‘puts the poem squarely between the poet and the person’, so that ‘the poem is at last between two persons instead of two pages’. In light of this we can learn a great deal about what O’Hara wanted to achieve in his poems, which were composed briskly and in a more colloquial diction – believing as he did that poetry ought to have the intimate, casual quality of conversation. It is tempting to say that O’Hara is here doffing his hat to Frost, and then tapping it and peering inside in the vein of Beckett’s famous duo.

In closing, we see that the writing of Frank O’Hara might be characterised by qualities of immediacy, spontaneity and improvisation. The work is highly improvised vers libre for the most part, and despite the indelible association of his work with New York City, O’Hara’s first principle of speaking directly and intimately to the reader must ensure the broader reach of his poetry, as in the words of James Joyce: ‘in the particular is contained the universal’.

In the poem ‘A Step Away from Them’ from his 1964 collection ‘Lunch Poems’ (so called because of their composition on his lunch, strolling Times Square) we observe the ‘I do this, I do that’ philosophy which informs the poems of this volume. Here we are confronted with a very recognisable New York, ‘where skirts are flipping / above heels and blow up over / grates’. We see too his characteristic use of enjambment, the run-on lines providing him with a sense of momentum, and the pressure to maintain this momentum spurring him on to details otherwise unnoticed. There is an element of the surreal in his description of the labourers ‘[feeding] their dirty / glistening torsos sandwiches / and Coca-Cola, with yellow helmets / on,’ as though in fact the Coca-Cola bottles were wearing these yellow helmets. Of these comes the weak acknowledgement, ‘They protect them from falling / bricks, I guess,’ which speaks of a concession to practicality at the cost of an indistinguishable sameness about the workers (or the bottles), no individuality, no distinctive feature, they are safe.

Images: chicagopoetrycorner.com, markdoty.org

Moreover, the climax of this poem is unmistakably a meditation on mortality (‘First / Bunny died, then John Latouche, / then Jackson Pollock…’), and this elegiac note is pitched higher still in another poem from the same collection, ‘The Day Lady Died’. The word play of the title is an allusion to Billie Holiday and her song ‘Lady Day’, on whose death

Marching To The Beat of Their Own Drum Terry O’Sullivan tackles the interesting group known as Beat writers.

‘A man cannot impart the true feeling of things to others unless he himself has experienced what he is trying to tell of ’ ― Jack Kerouac.

Amongst other things the Beats popularised ‘new’ religions and helped to develop the idea that rock ’n’ roll music was a legitimate art form. Kerouac’s The Dharma Bums helped to inform many Western readers of Buddhism while Ginsberg recited a Krishna chant on a song by The Clash. During the earliest stages of the popularization of rock ’n’ roll, many of these writers would be in African-American clubs. This was somewhat taboo as racial segregation was still strong in 1940-1950s America. The fact that racism didn’t seem to enter into the descriptions rendered by the Beats about these institutions and the people who frequented them helped to break down some of the barriers that let middle class, white America participate in the Civil Rights Movement that followed.

That quote is essentially the mantra that formed Beat. The counter culture movement can be said to have formed in the 1940s when a group of writers met in the confines of Columbia University, New York. Among them were William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac. The group coalesced around a brilliant student named Lucian Carr who introduced all the major players in the Beat Generation to each other. A disparate group it was too: Kerouac the merchant sailor, Ginsberg the young Jewish student from a troubled background, and Burroughs the transient opiate-addicted academic. Lucian Carr helped to inspire some of their most praised work too, but, sadly, it was not for the right reasons. One night Carr stabbed a mutual friend (some say in self-defence) and disposed of the body in the lake. His next actions implicated Burroughs and Kerouac who nearly went to prison too. Out of this though Kerouac wrote The Vanity of Duluoz and co-wrote with Burroughs And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks.

The biggest insight into the influence of this period in literature is the sheer number of popular artists who take direct influence from their work: The Beatles added the letter ‘a’ into their name as an allusion to the Beats, and Steely Dan took their name from a Burroughs novel. Apart from the aforementioned collaboration with The Clash, Ginsberg also went on tour with Bob Dylan at the height of his fame. Burroughs collaborated with Kurt Cobain while also appearing in Gus Van Sant’s Drugstore Cowboy. I guess the best way to conclude is as I started: with a quote.

One of the defining characteristics of the movement was its unflinching look at the underbelly of society. All of the major works of the Beats deal with the unsavoury sides of society – Howl, The Naked Lunch and On the Road included. This life on the edge took its toll; Kerouac died of alcoholism and Burroughs had to spend a few years on the run relating to a series of crimes including the accidental manslaughter of his second wife. These works helped to break the taboo around subjects such as drugs, sex, crime, vagrancy and homosexuality, and the obscenity trial brought against Ginsberg’s Howl in 1957 helped to bring an end to literary censorship (as well as establish Ginsberg as the hip new poet).

‘I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked…’ ― Howl by Allen Ginsberg.

Friends For Life

Images: Huffington Post.

Tamara Malone takes a look at some notable literary friendships. The concept of the literary friendship is one that excites many readers. Think of the exchange of ideas, identities, cultures! For example, while in school J.R.R. Tolkien was member of a society of youths entitled TCBS – the ‘Tea Club and Barrovian Society’, an allusion to a love of drinking tea in Barrow’s Stores and the school library. The society of youngsters served to provide an open discussion wherein Tolkien made the decision to write poetry, though sadly only he and one other of the group survived the First World War. Here are some further examples of friendships forged through a love of writing, and a love of creating the worlds of our dreams.

Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg The fathers of the Beat generation of writers (who included William S. Burroughs) met in the throes of youth, while Ginsberg was in his freshman year at university. Unlike other friendships mentioned here, these two remained compadres until Kerouac’s death in 1969. Kerouac’s On the Road, topical at the moment due to its own filmic adaptation, chronicles the adventures of this group of friends, with Ginsberg named ‘Carlo Marx’ in the novel because of his Communist associations, a source of strain in the relationship.

Ezra Pound and T.S. Eliot

J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

Pound named himself the ‘midwife’ of Eliot’s epic poem, ‘The Waste Land’, so great was his involvement, particularly in the editing of the more anti-Semitic passages. The two Modernist poets of 1920s London were at the centre of a circle of writers including Hilda Doolittle and D.H. Lawrence. Later, both men became associated with fascist ideologies in the lead up to World War II, Pound being charged with treason and sent to a mental institution.

Both fantasy-fiction writers lauded for the stunning insight and imagination which went into creating their respective invented worlds and both medievalists of the Oxbridge class, Tolkien and Lewis were also both members of ‘Inklings’, the informal Oxfordian group of writers which largely focused on the writing of fantasy (Tolkiens’ son Christopher also became a member of this group). Tolkien converted the atheist Lewis to Christianity and Lewis encouraged Tolkien to expand his literary themes. However, disagreement ensued, primarily over the quality of Lewis’ Narnia series – despite the fact that Lewis was a champion of The Lord of the Rings.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway On the occasion of their first meeting, Fitzgerald inquired as to whether Hemingway had ever slept with his wife, and the latter thought him ‘excessively flattering’. At this time Fitzgerald had achieved fame with the publication of The Great Gatsby, the film adaptation of which is soon to be released, and Hemingway was relatively unknown. The former devoted himself to the progression of Hemingways’ career, acting as an editor for him during the late 1920s. The friendship between the two disintegrated during the late ’30s due to jealousy, as Hemingway had become one of the most famous writers of the time and Fitzgerald had declined in popularity by his death in 1940.

Author Richard Lingeman wrote that literary friendships are plagued by ‘the demons of jealousy, envy, competitiveness’, and this does indeed seem to be a recurring trend. What can we take from the examples shown above? Don’t let envy get in the way, don’t hate Communists, and maybe keep your opinion to yourself.

Images: Scribner, HarperCollins.

Features

Emigrant Song

Mae McSweeney talks Generation Emigration and Summer Bay fantasies – but maybe all we need is a fecking holiday.

I don’t know how many of you have been in the bathrooms on the second floor of the student centre lately, but if you have, maybe you’ll be familiar with this poster. It’s an A3 piece of paper, an advertisement from USIT, the travel company. The exact wording escapes me, but beside images of bikini-clad youths, merrily squinting into the glaring sun on a sandy beach, it reads something like; ‘Australia can wait! Work in the U.S. while you can!’ As I scooted down the spiral staircase to the ground floor, no doubt jangling a loose selection of small change in my pocket in gleeful anticipation of the jelly snake I was to purchase in An Siopa, I contemplated the message of the USIT advert. Sure, it’s an exciting promise of sunny shores and better-looking people, and why not go to America, if you can, and if you want to? But I think my problem lies in the implicit assumption that we’re all going to Australia anyway, and that we may as well take a detour through the States on the way. As if Australia isn’t just an option, it’s the only option. The ad skips the part where it has to win over a student audience to the idea of shrimps on a barbie, and Christmas Dinner on the beach, because it knows we’ve already accepted that much.

According to a 2012 report from the Central Statistics Office, 46,500 Irish people left the state between April 2011 and 2012. This represented a rise of 16% on the previous 12 months, and a 260% increase on the 2007 figures, when only 12,900 Irish people emigrated. To put this into context, more people left Ireland than sat the Leaving Cert last year. Emigration may have always been a part of the Irish experience, but that doesn’t mean everyone wants to up and leave. There’s a sense among many young people I know that, when they talk about the move to Oz, they’re comforting themselves with the thought of year-round sunshine and a ‘better lifestyle’, when really the thought of leaving home, possibly forever, and purely due to economic hardship is a lot to deal with. A video appeared on my Facebook news feed recently: it was widely shared and as I write this, having over 250,000 views on YouTube. Entitled ‘Just Saying’, it’s a short film in which a young man walks the streets of Dublin directing a poignant monologue to the camera, littered with genuine colloquialisms and insights on the current Irish experience. It has managed to capture, better than any articles I’ve read or TV broadcast I’ve seen, the sense of how it feels to be young, restless and Irish in an economy that stifles and short-changes its youth. I could fill the rest of the page with choice quotes from this video, but instead I’d just recommend you watch it if you haven’t already done so.

I’m not saying emigration is a complete tragedy. Some people I know are having the time of their lives on sunny foreign shores and, shockingly, they claim not to miss the over-priced pints, the permanent coating of clouds on the Irish skyline, or RTÉ Radio One’s daily instalments of Joe Duffy and his choir of screaming banshees discussing the Household Charge – although, they do miss Penneys like crazy. Moving away to a warmer, cheaper country, where all your friends now live, and actually getting a job – great! What sucks though is that it isn’t a choice. Maybe it comes down to your definition of happiness and the role free will has to play in that. So, rather than working in America because you have to, why not go this summer because you want to? J1s, inter-railing, au-pairing, teaching abroad with a TEFL degree, volunteering – the options for student travel are numerous, and it may not cost as much as you think. Now is the time to start planning and saving for the summer months, and in this month’s Features section, I hope you can find some helpful advice and inspiration to help you have the trip of a lifetime. Who knows – maybe you’ll discover some amazing town or city where you could happily see yourself working and living, but at least you’ll know before you leave for good, and at least you’ll be going because you want to. Or maybe you’ll remember that you sizzle like a rasher in temperatures rising above 20 degrees centigrade, that speaking foreign languages is hard and that only the Irish diet can offer you the bland palette of flavours you naturally crave – maybe it’s not so bad here after all. Whatever happens, have safe and happy travels, and don’t forget your toothbrush! Images: anamericaninireland.com, ratemyarea.com, TV Week.

However, I feel this quote really articulates the dilemma of emigration for this generation: ‘I’m just saying, you might get sick of it all. But you might miss it too. There’s ten good reasons to go, but a thousand tiny ones not to – and I don’t know which is which anymore.’ Does that feel familiar? It’s impossible to know until it’s too late which set of reasons means more to you, but the sense of duty we may feel to stay and contribute to an economy whose life-blood is slowly haemorrhaging, tends to wane when opportunities are so few and the perks are so meagre.

by Ciara Kenny

Travel Advice

Mae McSweeney has a few words of wisdom before you pack your suitcase

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Check that your passport is in date: Standard Irish passports take 2 to 4 weeks to process, and possibly even more during the peak season (April to August). I’m currently in the middle of applying for mine, and believe me, it takes more time that you’d think! Consult the DFA website for information on how to get yours renewed.

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Boosters and Shots: For many exotic locations, you’ll probably need to get some vaccinations. This especially applies to people who want to do some volunteering abroad. Vaccines can be expensive, so do some research and factor the cost into your budget.

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Read the fine print: When you book online, it’s easy to miss the hidden costs and sneaky charges for flights, hotel bookings, and transport arrangements. Don’t get caught out – read over everything 3 times before you book it!

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Sun cream: Never underestimate the potential horrors of sun burn. Apart from making you look like a half chewed stick of Hubba Bubba, serious damage can be accrued simply by being lazy or stingy with your sun screen.

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Languages: It’s always good to learn a few phrases, even if you’re confident that English is widely spoken where you’re going. At the very least it shows respect, and it could potentially help you out of a dangerous or awkward situation. Phrase books make for good in-flight reading.

Destination Unknown: Paris vs Crete

Abigail Daisy Woods pits two holiday heavyweights against each other, in a mighty fight for your hard-earned drinking money. Here we are at the beginning of a new year, and a new college semester. This is the time of year when we start to make fantastic summer plans so we have something to look forward to when we are in the library studying for those crippling exams. I was lucky enough to get off of this island twice in 2012; the first was a short break to Paris, and the second was a week long holiday to Piskopiano on the island of Crete. I really enjoyed both holidays, and as an impoverished student I tried to seek out the best value for available, as I’m sure many of you will be doing this coming summer.

Paris Overall, it worked out at €100 for the flights, €150 for the hotel, and €300 spending money for three nights. Paris is an expensive city and I was struggling with my spending money, but the great thing about Paris is that you can do some of most amazing things for free. If you’re under 25 and you are a European citizen, entry to museums is free: this includes Versailles, The Louvre and The Museum of Modern Art. In my short trip I managed to spend a day at the Louvre, and I loved it. I had the experience of pushing my way through a vicious crowd of art-loving tourists to see the A4 sized Mona Lisa behind a panel of bullet proof glass, before being pushed away again by the afore-mentioned vicious crowd of art-loving tourists. Other highlights included The Winged Victory and the Venus de Milo (I had been looking forward to seeing it ever since it was featured in that episode of The Simpsons).

age no matter where you go! The soundtrack of the clubs is a little bit bizarre, but if you’re into half hour sets of Black Eyed Peas circa 2003, you’ll be right at home. The best night I had there though had to be the night we went to Malia. Yes, that is the same Malia as seen in The Inbetweeners Movie, and the town truly lived up to it’s on-screen impression. A taxi from Piskopiano to Malia costs less than €5 per person in a group of four, and when you actually get to the Malia strip you can buy three quadruple vodkas and a shot for a fiver (i.e., no need to pre-drink). Fantastic nightlife aside, the food is also amazing. Most of the traditional Cretan restaurants make their own wine and sell local dishes for as little as €4. But I must warn you, do not go to Crete if you don’t like cats, because they are everywhere. In the restaurants, the waterparks, and sometimes even the pubs, but I like cats, so it didn’t really bother me.

Verdict If you’re looking for excellent value for money, a good mixture of fun activities, culture and fantastic weather to boot, I would definitely recommend Piskopiano. I think everyone should go to Paris at least once in their lives; it’s one of those places that has so many things to do – you’ll never end up having the same trip twice! If you’re looking for a short weekend break, and even if you’re interrailing, Paris is a great destination.

The sights are free too; such as the Eiffel Tower. I went to see it at night, and every twenty minutes it lights up like a big, beautiful, sparkly, metal Christmas tree. The Arc de Triomphe and the Champs-Elysees are great sights to see too. You can visit some of the most amazing flagship stores on the planet and drool over all of the fancy things they sell there. The highlight of my Paris trip was, of course, finally getting to go to Disneyland for the first (and hopefully not last) time in my life. It costs €50 for a student multi-park pass, and another €15 for Minnie Mouse ears (not compulsory). February is a great time to visit Disneyland because most of the kids are back in school and the lines aren’t as big.

Wherever you decide to go this summer I’m sure it will be great – happy planning!

Crete I stayed in Piskopiano, a little traditional village that is just a five minute walk from the considerably wilder resort of Hersonisoss. The holiday cost about €450 and I brought €300 spending money with me (same as Paris), which was plenty. It’s expensive to get over there, but once you do, its dirt cheap. In terms of culture, there’s a history museum in Heraklion and a museum of agricultural life in Piskopiano. But, to be brutally honest, this was a drinking holiday. Piskopiano and Hersonisoss are largely Irish holiday-maker destinations, and even the hotel I stayed in was Irish owned. In Hersonisoss every hour is happy hour and if you’re Irish you’re sure to be given some kind of free bever-

Images: Wikimedia.org, bookableholidays.org.

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So… Oslo? Scandinavia may not be as scandalously expensive as you think, according to Peter Neville. It is a well-known fact that Norway is expensive, and that you would have to be a millionaire to even consider a long term vacation there. However, for students, Oslo (the capital city, located on its own fjord) is reasonably inexpensive. In Stansted airport, I had estimated that for four days living in Oslo, I would need a minimum of €350 – quite a bit, I know – but by the end I was incredibly happy to discover that I had overestimated by almost 50 per cent. Costs aside, what exactly is there to do in Oslo? There is something to suit all interests, but the winter seasons (which are heavy with snow) are the high points. For those adventurous and a little bit insane, there are world-famous skiing and snowboarding resorts. For those who find it difficult enough to stay balanced on non-slippery surfaces, there are very interesting indoor activities. If you are in the mood for shopping, then the Oslo City shopping centre is a fantastic option – located directly beside the central station. Inside there are supermarkets, food stalls, and the biggest retailer of spirits in the city. However, if you’re planning a session, I’d recommend purchasing your alcohol in the airport duty free on arrival – you will save a huge amount of money versus pub and off license prices. In the city, you’ll find quite a few quirky shops which celebrate the unique aspects of Norwegian culture, so keep an eye out! Of course, there is more to do than shop! If you are a hungry-minded person who loves to learn, then you will be delighted to know that Oslo is rich in museums. These range from a gallery of Edvard Munch’s paintings, to a folk museum, to an intriguing experience which specialises in Viking long ships. My personal pick is the Fram Museum, located on the other side of the Oslo Fjord. Don’t worry – there are regular bus and boat services to get you there, the journey takes less than twenty minutes and, most importantly, they’re included in the price of a travel card. For those who aren’t history buffs, the Fram was the first ship to sail to both the Arctic and Antarctic, and became the first to make it to the South Pole – ahead of Robert Scott. The museum is a fascinating piece of engineering – triangular in shape, and built around the actual ship. It is a very interactive experience, and visitors are invited to board the ship and to examine her interior. Definitely worth a visit!

Public transport is something that Norwegians take seriously, and you will be delighted to know that buses run every couple of minutes to all parts of the city. Oslo also boasts an excellent metro system, and numerous tram services; I’d recommend getting the 24 hour pass which entitles you to unlimited access on all the lines. Getting to Oslo from the airports couldn’t be easier. If cheap flights are your thing, then you will probably arrive at either Torp or Rygge airport, the latter being closer to the city. Outside the main concourse, there are buses which go to and from the city very regularly. However, I would recommend you to take the train, because not only is it the same price, but the views are second to none. Student rates start at €15 each way, so don’t forget your student card! Foodies will be spoiled for choice – the city offers everything from Asian to American to traditional Scandinavian for you to sample. For veggies and vegans, there are several very nice restaurants located around the National Theatre. Of course, the experience of eating out is a costly one – if you are content with a budget trip, then be prepared to spend your lunch money in supermarkets. Overall, Oslo is a great city that is not overwhelmingly big (halfway in size between Cork and Dublin) but still offers a lot. It is very tourist friendly, with plenty of multi-lingual signage, and citizens who can converse in several European languages. If you’re going in summer, expect a little sunshine with highs of around 25 degrees Celsius. And if you are going in winter, then don’t forget the thermals! Remember, you can fly there from both Dublin and London, and with the student prices, you’d be mad not too.

Images: tech4globe.com, bigearth.com, elblogdenoruega.com

Holiday at Home Lost your passport? Afraid of flying? Or just plain broke? Fear not, Eoghan Dalton travels the glens and valleys of this little isle to reveal some hidden gems.

tion for Southern students, but now that the whole ‘unpleasantness’ has subsided (ignoring recent disagreements of course), it’s a fine time to begin stockpiling the petrol for the long drive north. Assuming there’s any amateur historians reading this (considering this is Cork, I’d expect there’s a few of ye) then a trip to the relatively unknown village of Crookedwood, Co. Westmeath might pique your interest. The folksy name is appropriate; the ‘Children of Lir’ tale originates from here. There are numerous historical fortifications in the region, along with a well-regarded restaurant for your nibbling needs. After everyone has finished admiring the post card-like views of Crookedwood’s lake from this restaurant, Mullingar is merely eight kilometres away with plenty of shops for your inner materialist, and public houses in which to slake your thirst.

If you’re like me, you’ll find yourself every summer wondering what crazy and generation-defining escapades lie ahead; in reality though, the best we can manage is too many nights out in the decaying hometown, a couple of nights in a big city and a solitary trip to the beach. This is generally bookended by countless discussions in a local car-park about what fun and, vitally, affordable activities ‘the lads’ (that’s us) could take part in. Folks our age have generally tend to struggle on the money front, and this recession business has made matters that bit more awkward. No doubt there are those among you reading this and thinking about how they’re able to go and personally fund your foreign holidays each year; and for this I applaud you, primarily for your restraint and foresight. If anyone wants to contact me to explain how they attained this maturity, please do, as I need to know which coat tails to latch onto once college ends. As for my fellow bottom feeders out there, read on for some ideas about how to get a change of scenery this summer – even if it means never leaving this verdant (i.e., soggy) land.

My final suggestion might sound as if it’ll cost a bomb, but it may it may actually be priced reasonable when compared to most other pursuits, if not cheaper. I’m talking about the Gyreum Ecolodge in Castlebaldwin, County Sligo; this stunning temple resembles a gigantic yurt and is powered solely by wind and solar energy. There’s a varied range of creative events throughout the year held here and the Gyreum has a moonlit hot tub too. The beds are hostel-standard and while the outdoor eco-friendly toilets may bring to mind Electric Picnic’s ‘Comfy Crappers’, at €25 a night it should be easily worth it for the potentially, eh, earthy experience.

A decent place to start is the Comeragh Mountains in County Waterford. Located outside Dungarvan, the area makes for a lovely scenic distraction with a surprising amount on offer in the surrounding settlements. Besides the genuine beauty of the Comeraghs, there’s an old ‘magic’ road for those who feel like disobeying gravity. This road can be found on the way up to Mahon Falls, which make for a nice payoff at the drives end. The road’s silliness is best experienced by car; larger vehicles won’t roll uphill on the path, stupid, its science! After seeing the waterfall and avoiding the plentiful goat turds this region has to offer, the strand in Clonea may prove welcoming. With a caravan park there too, there’s no harm in staying for the night. If everyone in the group feels like satisfying their inner legend, then Dungarvan is about five kilometres away.

See? A summer at home doesn’t have to be all carparks and day-time television. So pester that one friend of yours who has a car, gather up as many bored cohorts as can fit in the back of a battered Toyota, and set off on the road-trip of a lifetime! Don’t forget the sun-cream… or your anorak! Images: DiscoverIreland.com, Millstreet.ie.

For those who like getting in touch with their masochistic side, then a hardy walk up to Coumshingaun Lake is recommended for the morning after; clocking in at between two and five hours (a lot weighs on which route is taken), a superb corrie lake with surrounding cliff sides awaits those who make the ascent. Nothing better cure for a hangover than being awestruck by the sumptuous gorgeousness of nature (a bottle of Coke is also good). The towns of Carrick-on-Suir and Clonmel are both within driving distance too, with much to offer; the former has Ireland’s only Tudor house and a noteworthy Heritage Centre, whereas the latter is Ireland’s largest town that isn’t a port (fun fact!). For a relatively not-talked-about part of the country, the area stretching from Dungarvan to the Comeraghs and Clonmel has a lot to recommend it. Now you could write off my next suggestion as being very out of the way; which is completely true. Still though, Armagh is worth the spin; Slieve Gullion national park puts nearly every other park in the country in their place. Elsewhere in the county, there is a strong musical tradition, especially with Tommy Makem (he was fairly friendly with the Clancy Brothers) hailing from there. ‘Norn Iron’ has never really been a very popular destina-

Agony Rant: What Your Dad Calls ‘Clubbing’ Dean Murray is crying at the discothèque.

A student will inevitably find themselves in a nightclub many times during their collegiate days. It is as certain as the sun rising, or the behemoth guarding the entrance to a pub calmly telling you, ‘no, not tonight, you’re too drunk’ (despite the fact that you’re actually sober this time). Indeed it seems many people intentionally set out for these loud and expensive hell-pits. It should be apparent by this stage that I am not a fan of nightclubs, yet every Thursday I convince myself, like the gambling addict putting his hopes on the longshot, that this time it will come good. Guess what? I’m always disappointed.

I must say, this is a redeeming feature of nightclubs for me; watching some random guy on the dance floor get rejected by everyone nearly makes up for the twenty euro I spent on a glass of water. The next time you find yourself in a nightclub, I recommend the following activity: find a spot where you can oversee the dance floor, then pick a member of LAD brigade. Start taking bets on what happens next. Hilarity ensues.

You’re probably thinking that ‘he goes out for the shift and leaves alone with nothing to keep him company but a Big Mac’, and this is all just sour grapes. Incorrect. I’m actually extremely happily girlfriended (I have a girlfriend, therefore I’m girlfriended). I have zero interest in these orange half-dressed harlots. However, I appear to be alone in this respect. These harlots are prey for a certain creature: ‘the Lad’, or ‘LAD’. Thursdays are when the LADs emerge. They strut their way up to the club in slow motion, empty the contents of their wallets to the lady at the door. They are often easy to spot (‘Conspicuous LAD’) dressed as if they’re football team sponsored by River Island, with the sole intention of getting a score – on a sacred pilgrimage in search of that most laddish Holy Grail (‘King Arthur’s Roundtable LAD’), the ‘ride.’

Maybe I’m being too harsh on the nightclub, and perhaps my contempt for the more enthusiastic patrons leaves me biased; the nightclub didn’t choose the LADS, they choose the nightclub. If I was to really get down to the bones of why I don’t enjoy nightclubs, it would have to be one major reason. You see, I suffer from an affliction. I can’t dance. There, I said it. Irish men have two moves: gyrating their torsos like boxers before a bout, or jumping up and down with their hands above their head. It’s the height of irony that the lyrics to the songs played in nightclubs mention the word ‘DANCE!’ at least 120 times a minute. I can’t be the only one who curses themselves for spending all that money, just for some dickless asshole to waltz over and cover me in my own pint. In fact, that should be the first commandment for going out: ‘Thou shalt not be a drunk dickless asshole’. Amen.

At the end of the night you’ll find them sitting in McDonalds, staring at each other with a level of contempt reserved solely for rapists and paedophiles. Silently they chew their food, in bitter disbelief that they have failed their mission. You would think that grinding upon everything that has a bit of an arse would return some dividends. Trying to strike up a conversation with a girl who is not on the dance floor is clearly a ridiculous idea.

A story to tell from Laurie Laurelle: being a non-drinker in UCC Laura O’ Donovan is that rare mix of student and teetotaler. Here, she talks about her experiences as a non-drinker, and how it affects social situations. I can’t say that I’ve never had a thirst for drink. I remember begging my father for a sip of whatever he happened to be drinking at the time; of course, it never was just a sip, more of a gulp. I was a twelve-year old bottomless pit and gin was the ultimate drink for me. Much to my mother’s annoyance, I am most definitely a fad eater and drinker. My tastes change as frequently as the nightclubs of Cork rebrand themselves. By the age of seventeen, I wasn’t really excited about coming of age. I was still satisfied with my pineapple juice and Club Orange. Unfortunately my taste buds had become more sensitive over time, leaving me with the awkwardness of hating the taste of meat, dairy products and all alcoholic drinks. Since then, my friends have set out on a quest to find me a drink that I actually like. They’ve tried me on everything and I mean absolutely everything – the fancy stuff, the girly drinks, the Dutch Gold’s of this world- but to no avail. I’m embarrassed to say that I can’t even stomach non-alcoholic or chocolate beer. And man, do I love chocolate! There’s no point in writing this article telling you what it’s like for every nondrinker in UCC. Everyone has a different story and experience. Even if I interviewed them and asked them reams of intelligently worded questions, people always have a front. It takes your whole life to get to know yourself – how are we supposed to get to know the inner workings of someone else in the process? I have never encountered any problems with being a non-drinker. Generally it’s in foreign countries that I get the most attention but it’s always something lighthearted along the lines of ‘you’re Irish and you don’t drink?’ I have recently come to realise that I create my own problems surrounding drink. I blame the fact that I don’t drink for most of my insecurities. In my irrational mind, I am boring because I’m not mad into drink or partying. People don’t stop being my

friend because I don’t drink. We just drift because I distance myself from them because I’m scared that they think I am boring. I have been doing it for my entire college life. It’s so easy to think up ideas about what other people think of you. It is, however, incredibly difficult and courageous to be able to listen to what they actually have to say. I remember enthusiastically signing myself up to societies in my first week of college. I also remember being utterly disappointed when I realised that some of them were steered by mystery tours, nights out and just general drinking. I felt that I didn’t fit in, so I instantly withdrew. I had forgotten the whole idea about societies, which are there to fit the needs of every college student. If there was just one society, only a proportion of students would be happy. Not every society is for everyone. You have to search for the one that suits you best. Don’t be like me- don’t just try one out, denounce it as a failure and never try one again. Even if my thirst for drink never comes back, I think I’ve learnt enough in the past few years to keep me confident in my choice to not drink. The toughest thing along the way has been to master the ability to tell the shy, reserved part of me to take the backseat in social situations. At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of having enough confidence to do what you actually want to do. Our confidence levels are constantly fluctuating, so it’d be nice to give ourselves a little break sometimes and just enjoy ourselves with a drink in hand- whether it’s a beer or cup of tea, it doesn’t matter – it’s merely a difference of taste. Images: Young’s, lethalcomms.wordpress.com.

The Dark Side of the Net

Gavin Fitzgerald explores the strange new world of Bitcoins, and asks what implications they could have for the future of online trading. Why should you be wary?

What is it? Bitcoin is the world’s first decentralized currency, an open source, peerto-peer currency that does not exist in physical form. It’s owned and traded by means of an anonymous peer-to-peer (P2P) network, without any third-party intermediary like a payment processor, and without any government issuing or tracking the virtual currency. It has been recently calculated that Bitcoins have a market capital of over 100 million US dollars, and it is the most widely used alternative currency in the world.

Where did it come from? Bitcoin is the modern day manifestation of ‘e-cash’ which was first introduced in 1990 by David Chaum. It was launched in 2009 with Satoshi Nakamoto (believed to be a pseudonym) credited for its creation. The Bitcoin network came into existence on 3 January 2009 with the release of the first Bitcoin client, Bitcoin, and the issuance of the first Bitcoins. In 2011, Wikileaks, Freenet, Singularity Institute, Internet Archive, Free Software Foundation and others, began to accept donations in Bitcoin.

Why should you care? Apart from impressive statistics such as Bitcoin gaining 200,000% in worth between 1st June 2010 and 2011 (going from $.005USD to $10.50USD), there are the major advantages it offers over the conventional currency. No taxation: Third parties are unable to intercept transactions of Bitcoins, and therefore there exists no viable way of implementing any sort of taxation system on Bitcoins, unless of course you were to voluntarily send off a percentage of your transaction. No Tracking: Unless users voluntarily publicize their wallet addresses, no one can trace transactions back to them and no one, other than the wallet holders, will know how many Bitcoins they have. Even if the wallet address was publicized, a new wallet address can be easily generated. This greatly increases privacy in comparison with traditional currency systems, where third parties can potentially hack into personal financial data. Bitcoins cannot be stolen: Bitcoins’ ownership address can only be changed by the owner. No one can steal them unless they have physical access to a user’s computer, and they send the Bitcoins to their account. Unlike conventional currency systems, where only a few authentication details are required to gain access to finances, this system requires physical access, which makes it much harder to steal. No third-party seizure: Since there are multiple redundant copies of the transactions database, no one can seize Bitcoins. The most someone can do is force the user, by other means, to send the Bitcoins to someone else. This means that governments can’t freeze someone’s wealth, and thus users of Bitcoins will have complete freedom to do anything they want with their money. No transaction costs: Sending and receiving Bitcoins requires users to keep the Bitcoin client running and connected to other nodes (computers which are hooked up to a computer network). Essentially, by using Bitcoins, users will be contributing to the network, and thus sharing the burden of authorizing transactions. Sharing this work greatly reduces transaction costs, and thus makes transaction costs negligible.

Bitcoins are not widely accepted: Bitcoins are still only accepted by a very small group of online merchants. This makes it unfeasible to completely rely on Bitcoins as a currency. There is also a possibility that governments might force merchants to not use Bitcoins to ensure that users’ transactions can be tracked. Wallets can be lost: If a hard drive crashes, or a virus corrupts data, and the wallet file is corrupted, Bitcoins have essentially been ‘lost’. There is nothing that can be done to recover it. These coins will be forever orphaned in the system. This can bankrupt a wealthy Bitcoin investor within seconds, with no way form of recovery. The coins the investor owned will also be permanently orphaned. No buyer protection: When goods are bought using Bitcoins, and the seller doesn’t send the promised goods, nothing can be done to reverse the transaction. This problem can be solved using a third party ‘escrow’ service like ClearCoin, but then, escrow services would assume the role of banks, which force the status of Bitcoins to revert to that of traditional tender.

What is the talk on Bitcoins? Money laundering: As the popularity of Bitcoin increases, so does the list of merchants accepting them. For illegal traders and money launderers this is a blessing, and for the authorities trying to shut them down, it is a curse. Sites have already been set up to ‘launder’ Bitcoins, sending them from one address to another until they reach their destination, with the site taking its small commission. Because Bitcoin wallet addresses are so simple and quick to set up, the digital trail can become very confusing and near impossible for authorities to follow. This makes Bitcoins a very lucrative currency to conduct illegal business in. Drugs: One of the biggest problems drug dealers have is that of managing and laundering money. Seeing as Bitcoins skip all that hassle, it wouldn’t take too much imagination to see Bitcoins embraced by the drug world, and any other dodgy dealers. Many infamous criminals, like Al Capone, were eventually convicted over money-based crimes such as tax evasion rather than violent felonies, but if there was no physical money on their property they might never have been stopped as such. Should Bitcoins be utilised by the wrong sort of people, it could be dangerous. Silkroad, a Darknet site where one can buy anything from hash to heroin, trades exclusively in Bitcoins.

Opinion: While a part of me is thrilled at the idea of a virtual currency and the freedom it could allow a user, I can’t help but think that maybe this might just be another speculative bubble. Something like the ‘Tulip mania’ in Holland, Bitcoins might at the moment seem amazing, but could in the end lose a lot of people a lot of money. For those not familiar with the story of Tulip mania, back in the 17th century the Dutch were fascinated by a newly introduced flower from Turkey called the Tulip. The novelty of this plant was enough to drive the price of Tulip bulbs so high that, at one point in time, a person could trade a single tulip for an entire estate. Then almost overnight the price dropped – the price dropped so much that instead of trading a single tulip for an estate, you would trade it for an onion. A lot of people lost a lot of money. This so-called ‘boomerang’ effect, where some commodity goes from being of little value, to high value, and back again, has happened countless times throughout history, and it could happen with Bitcoins.

‘Are Ya Well?’ – Eat That Sat Fat

Daniel Lennon takes a look at the scientific evidence which runs counter to what we’ve all been told about fatty foods. High saturated fat consumption is an arteryclogging recipe for disaster. Eating all those animal fats is driving your blood cholesterol levels sky high, and putting you in prime position to develop heart disease. I know, you’ve heard it before; all this is old news. Isn’t it? But hold on. What if you were told this was not the case? That this information is a huge myth, that the science supporting this hypothesis is very weak and practically non-existent. An examination of the origins of this common dogma exposes the fatal flaws in its arguments, and further examination of the scientific and medical literature suggests that saturated fat is not to be avoided. In fact, it can be a vital component of a healthy diet. A trip back in time, to the forming of the notion that saturated fat consumption causes abnormal cholesterol levels and heart disease, is necessary to set the scene for the chaos that has followed since.

So what does the current scientific literature tell us? If we look for randomised controlled trials (the gold standard for clinical studies) that investigate this supposed association, they are relatively scarce in number – probably not even into double figures. Of these, only one seems to really validate the outdated saturated fat-heart disease hypothesis; the ‘Finnish Mental Hospital Trial’, conducted by a team of Finnish researchers in 1972. It came to the conclusion that replacing saturated fat with vegetable oil resulted in a reduction of the incidence of heart attack deaths by about half in men (although, interestingly, there was no difference in all-cause mortality). What does that tell us? Not a whole lot to be frank. First, the trial was a twelve year crossover study of two hospitals, meaning that after six years the patients in each ‘group’ changed to the opposite diet. A second problem is that confounding variables were not controlled for. For example, the amount of sugar, carbohydrate, and total fat intakes varied as much as 50%, 17%, and 26%, respectively, between diet periods. In addition, there were massive differences in the drug administration to patients at the two hospitals. Overall, the study has too many variables to be counted as evidence for the hypothesis. Other well-conducted trials include: ●

The Oslo Diet-Heart Study showed no statistical difference in cardiovascular disease and mortality rates between those on a reduced saturated fat diet and those on a typical diet.

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The Sydney Diet-Heart Study showed that more heart attack patients who were placed on a diet higher in polyunsaturated fat (e.g. vegetable oil), as opposed to saturated fat, had died after five years.

Well, it would have been, if it weren’t for the fact that the study originally looked at 22 different countries – not just seven. However, Keys decided to discard any of the data which didn’t fit his hypothesis. When the data from the 15 ‘missing’ countries is included, the association becomes very weak – so weak, in fact, as to suggest that it doesn’t exist at all.

●

The Minnesota Coronary Survey showed that there was no difference in cardiovascular disease or mortality rates between high saturated fat and high polyunsaturated fat groups. Total fat intake and monounsaturated fat intake were kept the same for both groups.

Even if we accept Keys’ Seven Countries Study as he reported it, there should be no immediate rush to vilify dietary fat, because what Keys presented was an observational, cross-country, epidemiological study showing a potential correlation between dietary fat intake and heart disease. An observational study allows you to use a correlation to form a hypothesis on which future experiments can be based. It does not show cause and effect. In other words, an observational study allows you to ask a question, but it never allows you to answer it – an observational study can never be used to prove something.

The message? The vilification of saturated fat, and dietary fat in general, is an outdated idea that has failed almost universally to stand up to scientific scrutiny. There are zero scientifically-sound studies that prove it to be true. In fact, consumption is slowly being encouraged by some groups, especially in replacing carbohydrates.

Between 1958 and 1964, American researcher Ancel Keys conducted a large-scale epidemiological study called the Seven Countries Study, which looked at the relationship between diet, lifestyle, and coronary heart disease (CHD) across seven different countries. All seven countries showed an increased CHD rate with corresponding fat intake increases. Pretty definitive, right?

So don’t be afraid to eat the fat on your steak, put some butter on your veggies, and use some coconut oil when you’re frying some eggs. Eat that sat fat!

Originally, in a 1957 report, the American Heart Association (AHA) concluded that ’there is not enough evidence available to permit a rigid stand on what the relationship is between nutrition, particularly the fat content of the diet, and atherosclerosis and coronary heart disease’. However, a report three years later was presented from a completely different viewpoint, stating that the population would reduce their risk of heart disease by both outright reducing the fat content of their diet and by replacing a proportion of it with polyunsaturated fat. What had changed over those three years to cause this change in stance? The AHA committee, which presented this revised view in 1960 – by which time there was still no compelling evidence – now had Ancel Keys sitting on it. Shortly after publication of the report, Keys’ reputation grew and soon his face was seen on the cover of Time Magazine. All this despite the fact that there was still no strong evidence suggesting his hypothesis to be valid, with plenty of researchers around the world not convinced by, and even opposed to, the notion.

Images: Time, badfats.eu.

Chinese New Year

WenQing Yin invites us to celebrate the most important of all Chinese festivals with her. Sure why not – any excuse for a party, I say!

The festival of the Chinese New Year has been celebrated for 3000 years, and in China alone it is now celebrated by over 1 billion people. The Chinese calendar is a combination of solar and lunar calendars, using the lunar calendar to calculate the time it takes the moon to travel around the earth, and the western, solar calendar to get the time it takes the earth to go around the sun. The Chinese calendar has a 12 year cycle, and each year is named after an animal. For example, 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, and 2013 is the Year of the Snake. Chinese New Year is a time to congratulate each other, and joyfully pass into another year, much like the annual Western festival. Common words at this time are GuoNian, which represents having made it through the old year, and BaiNian, which is a term of congratulations upon reaching the New Year. To prepare for the New Year, Chinese people traditionally clean their houses, repay any money they owe, get a haircut, and buy new clothes. They use the colour red in all their festive decorations, as red is considered an auspicious and sacred colour.

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are celebrated as a family affair, a time of reunion and thanksgiving. For the Chinese, New Year’s Eve dinner is more than just a meal. On this day, Chinese people the world over, no matter how far away they live from their native country, and no matter how busy they are at work, will be home for dinner; it is a symbolic tradition of togetherness. After the dinner, the whole family will sit together, chatting and watching TV. The special ‘Spring Festival’ party, which is broadcast annually on China Central Television Station (CCTV), is another tradition which families will engage in.

Firecrackers and Red Envelopes Legend has it that, long ago, a monster terrorized the people of China, but it was afraid of loud noises, bright lights and the colour red. Firecrackers are an important element of the festival, used to frighten away the monster for the whole year. People delight in buying different kinds of firecrackers, enjoying the display of colours and sparks. Giving the gift of a sum of money in a red envelope, inscribed with good luck characters, is common. People who receive such a gift are considered blessed. Young children often receive such envelopes from family members

Chinese New Year Couplet Chun Lian is a special type of Dui Lian, a couplet of Chinese poetry. Such couplets are displayed during the Chinese New Year, as part of its celebration. Chun Lian is written on vertical strips of red paper with ink, and in the best calligraphic style one can muster. As I said, the colour red signifies good luck, and can frighten away the monster that supposedly arrives at this time of year. Furthermore, a third horizontal piece may be posted across and on the top of the door. These couplets can be hung outside beside the main door, and inside important rooms such as the kitchen and the bedroom. They are normally hung for two months after Chinese New Year, although some people would leave them for a whole year for continued good luck.

The Lantern Festival The New Year celebrations end on the 15th day of the First Moon, with the Lantern Festival. It’s an occasion of releasing lanterns into the sky, and folk dances. As this day draws to a close, people carry lanterns into the streets to take part in a great parade under the light of the full moon. Tang Yuan is another kind of dumplings made of sweet rice rolled into balls, stuffed with either sweet or spicy fillings, and is particularly associated with this festival. It is one of my favorite foods of The Spring Festival, and it makes me feel the future will be just like that – sweet and satisfying.

Chinese Dumpling Chinese dumplings are one of the most important foods in the traditional New Year meal. The shape of Chinese dumplings is similar to ancient gold or silver ingots, so they symbolize wealth, and thereby represent a wish for fortune and luck in the coming year. Traditionally, members of a family get together to make dumplings on New Year’s Eve. They sometimes hide a coin in one of the dumplings, and the person who finds it will be the lucky one in the New Year! Chinese dumplings are not only eaten during the Spring Festival, but in other Chinese holidays or festivals as well; they are an important part of Chinese culture.

The 10th of February is the 2013 date for Chinese New Year! Hopefully, you may at some point find yourself in China at this time of year, and you may hear people greeting you with ‘Gung Hay Fat Choy!’, or ‘Happy New Year!’ Whether you call it 2013, or ‘The Year of The Snake’, I wish you all a prosperous and happy year. Images: asianfusion-mag.com, charmsaddict.com, wjcqxx.com.

Evolution, Not Resolution Martha Hegarty says put down the dumb-bells, and fetch your fags out of the bin – January isn’t a magical month of personal transformation.

New Year’s Eve: a milestone which occurs every 365 days, letting us know that another digit has permanently changed in the third segment of the date written down at the top of our copybook pages. Essentially it’s just a mark on a clock that we chose, as significant as when someone realised, ‘look, the sun is in the same place it was 365 days ago, let’s have a drink to celebrate.’ If it were socially acceptable, we might celebrate the beginning of every hour. But whether you use the 10 second countdown as an excuse to hone in on your romantic target of choice, to party-boy with the masses or even just to earn a raw oesophagus, there’s one thing that slurred shout of ‘Happy New Year!’ always seems to evoke: the desire and motivation for change. Happy Christmas: fair enough. Happy Birthday: grand, cheers. But to wish a whole year of happiness… unrealistically hopeful! I don’t know about you, but for me it’s rare to even have a few consecutive hours of ohwhat-a-beautiful-morning levels of optimism. Even then, these moods usually announce themselves on the most unexpected days, which is why quixotically hopeful thinking can only cascade downhill. Now don’t think me a wintry Grinch – consider it. Has nobody ever had a visit from Aunty Climax on the hyped-up holidays, that hussy? We created her with our fervent proclamations such as ‘Christmas is the most wonderful day of the year’ and ‘I cannot wait to turn twenty-one’, as well the most unfeasible: ‘Happy New Year, 2Kwhatever to be the BEST YET.’ Then there’s the resolution. Just to add to the high expectations, we like to make ourselves impossible promises. One starts a diet, another vows to get to the gym more often, another gives up smoking; I might as well promise to abandon yawning and grow double my height. It’s not that I’m cynical about making changes in your lives, it’s more that I think the dependence on a universal date to make that internal change is both detached and stupid – why not kick your habit in November? Whose last resolution even lasted the year? Who can even remember what it was? I thought so.

Instead 2012 had, in general, the same amount of highs and lows as the year before. Give or take the few extra laughs and tears, it grew into a memorable year because I aimed to make it so through multiple, decisive actions throughout the twelve months, rather than trying to abide by the self-imposed tenet of ‘yeah I’ll be more like this so’, made in haste in on a January morning. My New Year’s countdown wasn’t in the pub I had been dancing in, or the house I had been drinking in, or the ocean I had been skinny-dipping in; it was on a pavement. You can’t get less romantic than that. My interpretation of the countdown was a bit less playful than the classic big band ballroom affair: it was a blaring, recognisable Morse Code foghorn that we shouted three times over in order to keep a victim of alcohol poisoning from passing out before the ambulance arrived. Call me a black humorist for casually slotting in this grim event amid a sea of quirky similes, but much like a cat that’s greedily swollen with milk, I think too much of a good thing can often leave us bored and unsatisfied. It’s far more realistic and effective to construct resolutions over time, gradually building up a black and white set of ideals through experience rather than solely living on whims and impulses controlled by the blowing of the wind, or in this case, day 365. What’s more, the latter’s probable failure can cause a lead balloon to fill your insides, just as the sight of a jar of marshmallow fluff lights up the eyes of a fat American child. Often what we’re looking for is just instant gratification, but the truth is there can’t always be fireworks. So maybe if you’re resolute on making a resolution, make it so impossible that people will laugh at the absurdity of it. Only then will it noticeably benefit anyone. It’ll also add the extra few chuckles to their New Year, making it a happier one, and therefore making your wishes come true-ish (unless, like me, your wish for 2013 is to live every day as a pterodactyl).

For example, I rang in 2012 under the impression that plus-ones don’t defecate on your bathroom floor in the early hours of New Years morning. So if you think your hazy expectations for the future are anything to seriously go by, you might as well scratch that assumption off now – much in the same way that the perpetrator’s name was scratched off any future house party invitations. Furthermore, if I designated that one dramatic event of January 1st 2012 as the embodiment of the tone of the entire year to come, 2012 would’ve been bleak – bleak and horribly faecal.

Images: weheartit.com, jmhammett.wordpress.com.

Bellies full of mice pies? Struggling to fit into your gym shorts? Tired of people asking if you got a few new chins for Christmas? Fear not, Shell Leonard is here to help you shed those winter pounds with some healthy and hearty meals. I’m guessing we indulged enough the holidays, and now we’re feeling at least some desire to ‘eat healthy in the New Year’? Yeah! I hope this instalment will help you get on your way with some thinspirational recipes, which are low in fat, but high in deliciousness. There can be gain without pain, after all! ]

Minestrone Soup. Ingredients

Seasoning

* 2 onions, diced. * 2 cloves of garlic, sliced. * 2 stalks of celery, diced. * 1 whole carrot, diced. * 1 litre of hot vegetable stock. * 3 x 400g tins of good quality chopped tomatoes (Tesco brand are good too, but not the Everyday Value range!).

* Chilli paste. * Salt. * Pepper. * Thyme. * Sage. * Oregano. * Basil.

Chicken Satay Ingredients

* 200g of chicken, diced. * Stir-fry veg (I use broccoli, peppers, onion and carrot) * Chilli paste. * 30g low fat smooth peanut butter. * 300ml hot chicken stock. * Noodles of your choices. (I use egg) Process Add chicken to a hot wok and brown. Add the vegetables and fry until almost cooked. Add the stock to the pan. Bring to the boil and add the chilli. Add the peanut butter and allow it to thicken.

Serving Suggestion * Two handfuls of small pasta pieces (I use Tesco Goodness Animal Pasta for Kids - it’s healthy and cute!).

Add noodles and a splash of soy sauce.

Low Fat Tortilla Chips

Process

Ingredients

Add some oil to the base of a large pot and when hot, add the onions and garlic. When they have browned a little, add the carrots and celery and fry a little.

* Tortilla wraps. * 2 tbsp of oil. * Cajun/paprika/chilli seasoning. * A pinch of salt.

Add the hot stock and bring to the boil. Add the tins of tomatoes and boil for 15 minutes. Turn the heat down considerably and allow to simmer for 30 minutes or until the carrots are cooked.

Process

Add seasoning; I use a teaspoon of chilli paste, salt, pepper, basil, thyme, sage and oregano.

Section a wrap into eight. Mix oil, seasoning and salt.

The key to this soup is to keep tasting it to get that authentic Italian taste. Don’t stop trying to find the balance. If too tart, add more salt. If too tomato-y, add some garlic/chilli.

Brush oil onto both sides of the wrap and place in the oven for a minute. Images: Shell Leonard

Add the cooked pasta and serve!

Review: Café Eco at Webworkhouse

Tommy Tobin spends an all-nighter in Cork’s premier essay freak-out location.

Address: 8 Winthrop Street, Cork City. Hours: 24 Hours. Contact: facebook.com/cafeceo ; 021 427 3090.

Many of us have been there: big project due and the library is closed. Working at home is fraught with danger: what if you fall asleep? Will I wake the flatmates? Do I have enough coffee? Never fear, Café Eco at the Webworkhouse is there for you.

Café Eco’s coffee offerings are good, with some claiming that their mochas are the best in town. Can’t say I believe these folks, but your options are quite limited at 3 AM. As for the nibbles, Café Eco’s products are tasty. Muffins and scones taste as they should and are appetizing and worth the investment.

Café Eco on Winthrop Street in Cork City is an unassuming little Internet cafe, with utilitarian tables, wood panelling, and large windows. These windows allow for some great people-watching at all hours as Corkonians work, revel, sleep, and then repeat. Oh, did I mention that this café was open 24 hours?

In terms of atmosphere, Café Eco at the front is a quaint Internet café, while the Webworkhouse at the back offers two stories of internet gaming, computer repair, and workstations. While you get some free Wi-Fi with a purchase at Café Eco, longer stays may require some investment at a work terminal.

Café Eco is a great place to study; it’s a place where you could take a book, take a paper, and take your time. With a night’s supply of coffee, tea, or your caffeine carrier of choice, this café can help you get that paper done – and if you run out coffee money, there’s an ATM across the street. Add to the people-watching the possibility of some celebrity-spotting; after a screening at the Cork Film Festival, several actors chose Café Eco to pop in and have a cup and a chat.

Be warned: this Café may be located bang smack in the middle of Cork City Centre, but it is surprisingly hard to find. Find it sandwiched between the McDonald’s and O’ Brien’s on Winthrop Street. I’ve ventured down there several times and have often overlooked the Café due to its recessed entrance. This can actually be advantageous, as late-night revellers will often walk straight past the large café windows, making the café a hidden gem of Cork City.

The offerings at Café Eco are very decent, tasting all the better as the night goes on and drowsiness is fought off.

All in all, Café Eco at the Webworkhouse is a great place to get some work done, link up with friends, or just generally chill out. Definitely check out their Facebook page for a link to a spiffy YouTube video with glorious production quality as it pits “The Barista” against “The New Girl.” Most definitely worth the watch.

During the day, Butlers or Ó Conaill’s Chocolatiers offer divine hot chocolates, but Café Eco’s version is alright, especially when the others are closed. The hot chocolate here comes in the version of a chocolate stick you melt into your drink. Verdict: OK.

Good For: Snack, late-night. Rating:

Feeding the Five Thousand Biting off more than you can chew has serious repercussions for the environment, straining our resources, and depriving the less fortunate of nutrition they need. Tommy Tobin tells us how a group of Irish students are determined to make a change, and shows us how we can do the same. I waste food. Odds are very good that you waste food too. Sure, I don’t intentionally buy food only to throw it away – it just happens that way. All told, Irish households waste over €700 worth of food annually, with many tossing much more. All this waste means wasted money as well as wasted resources. As food poverty grips 10% of the Irish population, this wasted food could be going to meet Ireland’s growing need. Officials estimate that we throw out 30% of the food we buy every year here in Ireland. In the EU as a whole, that figure rises to 50%. When we waste food, we waste all the resources that went into producing that food. Generating greenhouse gas emissions, wasting water, and depleting finite natural resources, food waste just doesn’t make ecological sense. What can we do about it? The EU has issued a call that member states should halve their levels of edible food waste by 2020. How can Ireland meet this ambitious goal, and how can we help? We could be savvier shoppers, smarter savers, and resourceful recipe gurus. The EPA-funded STOP Food Waste Programme has guides to help us be all three on their useful website. Simple tips include tracking the amount of food one wastes, planning meals ahead of time before shopping, bettering your understanding of expiration dates, and checking your personal food supplies before you shop. But let’s face it: we’re students. What can we, as students, do about the food waste problem? The answer is, quite a lot. Trinity College’s Aoibheann O’Brien and some fellow students set up Food Glorious Food in 2012. This social venture aims to connect food businesses with local charities to save good food from going to waste and feed those in need. Now Aoibheann sits on the Bia Foodbank, an initiative set to match surplus food with scarcity via a new app. Fortunately, Aoibheann and her organization are not alone in this fight against food waste. On November 24th 2012, Aoibheann and representatives from four Irish food waste groups coordinated to put on ‘Feeding the 5,000 Dublin’ in Wolfe Tone Park, aiming to feed 5,000 people with food that would have otherwise gone to waste. This perfectly edible food was wonky, misshapen, and otherwise unloved but was now about to find a use. Over a ton of unused produce went into cooking a veg curry and fresh apple juice for thousands of Irish consumers that November day. With over 300 kilos of rice, 150 kgs of carrots, and 100 kilos of tomatoes, the food waste champions organizing the event and the many volunteers assembled accomplished their goal of feeding 5,000 folks with excess food. Not only did its organizers attempt to show the potential of what could be done with unused food, Feeding The 5,000 Dublin aimed to raise awareness of the food waste issue. To raise the profile of the problem, the event featured meal planner Sian Brelin, renowned vegetarian chef Tony Keogh, and dietary counsellor Maggie Lynch, as well as international food waste expert Tristram Stuart. Stuart’s book Waste: Uncovering the Global Food Scandal is

one of the most comprehensive works to date on food waste and what can be done about it. He was also the originator of the Feeding the 5,000 concept and has hosted similar events around Europe. Assembled that November day were food waste champions and volunteers from around Ireland. Several students from UCC travelled up to volunteer at the event. A student from Queen’s University Belfast came down to volunteer for the day and serve curry. In fact, several folks travelled from London simply to volunteer and help out with the day’s activities! The event did not happen by itself: it took the dedicated work of a collection of food waste champions. In addition to Aoibheann’s Food Glorious Food, the event was hosted by a coalition of public and nonprofit groups. VOICE: Concern for the Irish Environment and its Director Mindy O’Brien used the event to launch its food waste initiative and advance the potential adoption of new regulations on putting waste to good use. The EPA-funded Stop Food Waste Programme looked to the event as a showcase about how reducing food waste also reduces the costs associated with its disposal. Finally, the incipient Bia Foodbank organization hoped to focus attention on their need for a premises to sort and distribute food to those in need. Events like Feeding the 5,000 Dublin demonstrate the potential of creating opportunity with food waste. As students and as consumers, we can choose to waste less and save more.

For tips on how you can help reduce food waste, visit stopfoodwaste.ie.

Images: VoiceIreland.org.

The Raven SMOKE ON FROSTED GLASS

By Peter Neville

Cigarettes and silhouettes Under a makeshift roof They stand, watching and waiting For the crowds to go past and then

Social Media

Delve into the moral debate once more.

The reapers calling at your doorstep

By Eoghan Lyng

In a single moment of time Waiting to puff you out He keeps on trying.

Princess, forgive the actions of these men,

Frosted glass on the window

They cannot see the malaise of their sin.

The door between hurt and shame

Hither thy senses for further intrusions,

Locked away, kept hidden They are here to blame

Our moves are seldom but always seen. Man is not the controller,

Any reason for life

He has become part of the machine.

Of recognition of hope.

His mind the witness to a greater scheme,

A candle burns away slowly Undo the shackles, cut the rope.

The motivations of such; absurd. Alas, the players set their parts, Playing a book of faces.

Stranger than Fiction! ● Bilbo Baggins was born on the 22nd September 1290. ● Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham after his editor dared him to write a book using fewer than 50 different words. ● The Three Musketeers’ names are Porthos, Athos, and Aramis (D’Artagnan joins them later).

fashion

Sarah Commane, 3rd year Arts student and blogger

(mythirdcousin.blogspot.com and theurgetocreate.com). Leather jacket:

TK Maxx

Blazer:

Penneys

T-shirt:

Thrifted

Shorts:

DIY

Shoes:

River Island

Bag:

Stradivarius

“My style resolution for 2013 is to stop impulse buying”

Laurence Keating, 3rd Year Arts student and freelance make- up artist. Coat:

DKNY

T-shirt:

American Apparel

Trousers:

H&M

Boots:

ASOS

“I would describe my style as clean and not too serious!” Check out Laurence’ makeup trend report on our website, uccmotley.ie.

Sunglasses: Betsey Johnson Jewellery:

Henry Holland, Topshop and River Island

Niamh Buckley, 4th year Law and French student.

Jacket: Leggings:

Topshop

Shirt:

Urban Outfitters

Shoes:

Converse

Hat:

Urban Outfitters

Bag:

Penneys

Topshop

Maura Reidy, 4th Year Arts student. Coat: Topshop Top: Scarf:

Urban Outfitters

Passigatti

Trousers:

Thrifted

Shoes:

Thrifted

Elliot Mc Carthy, 3rd Year Ecology student.

Coat:

William Hunt, Savile Row

Jeans:

Armani

T-shirt:

All Saints

Watch:

Armani

Mark Waldon-Hyden, 1st Year Finance Student and Drummer (Sound of Impact). Shirt:

Topman

Trousers: Vintage

Boots:

Topman

Glasses:

Specsavers

A girl’s guide to being a boy

Emma Oliver offers some tips on the androgynous style.

With the London menswear collections just over and Milan’s just beginning, January really is the month where the men take centre stage. So what’s a girl to do? The trend for dressing androgynously is far from being new and can be hard to pull off so here are a few tips on how to ‘do boy’ like a girl.

Two-piece suit

Oversize spectacles

Fun two-piece suits were everywhere this year and should now be a staple of every fashionable woman’s wardrobe. They are a great way to give a nod to the boyish craze without looking like an actual boy. For the best tailoring at a high street price, look no further than Zara – they always have great jackets and have thrown themselves head first into this trend. Try and steer away from dull one-colour suits unless you want to look like you’re heading straight to the office. And are a man.

Even though this season’s Made in Chelsea was particularly cringey (well, they all were really), I was hooked on Proudlock’s glasses. That boy has a spectacular eye for finding the most unusual styles, all while managing to completely pull them off. Head to Ray Ban’s Unisex range for some classic styles, or better yet Specsavers have great value. Here’s a bit of advice though, go to the men’s section in Specsavers. You’ll get just as good a selection as the women’s if not better and for half the price too!

Decent hat I wish I owned a great hat. But, unfortunately, Mother Nature gave me a fat head that no amount of time on the treadmill will shrink. Sigh. But you can own a great hat. Bowlers work really well with this boyish look without looking like you’ve tried too hard. I didn’t give many options because as great as a hat may look online – until you try it on you will never know if it will really suit (or fit, in my case). Happy hat hunting!

Clean-cut shirt Nothing says you’ve made it as a man more than wearing a shirt on a daily basis. Unless, of course, you’re not a man. And are a woman. Nevertheless, purchasing a good shirt (and I mean one from good, tailored and heavy quality variety) is essential to perfecting this look. Any white- or pale-coloured cotton shirt that has even the hint of transparency should be binned. Now. Unless you are wearing a chiffon shirt, in which case please carry on! Don’t be afraid to spend a little more on this part of the look. I promise, a good shirt will last ages and you can almost hear it whisper ‘I’m a strong woman who needs no man… just his clothes’, or something to that effect.

Watches that mean business

Brogues

While I was searching for ‘watches that mean business’, I got helplessly distracted by a watch that could only amount to one kind of business – funny business. While it may or may not be a great watch, River Island Men’s moustache style is perfectly kitsch and on trend. Daniel Wellington’s watch is a great girl/boy watch, especially for those of you dipping your toes into this androgynous style. Even if you discover this trend isn’t for you, at least you still have a great watch. Zadig et Voltaire is an amazing French brand that is ideal for shopping this trend. Nothing is too girly and everything has a rock chick edge. Oversized watches are perfect and look great on our dainty little wrists.

The right shoes are essential to this look. You might wonder why I’ve put a pair of simple back heels into this category. Boys don’t wear heels, silly! Of course I know that, but here is the science bit. Tailored jacket + tailored trousers + brogues = man in a trouser suit. Tailored jacket + tailored trousers + badass heels = sexy powerful lady who will leave the boys with whiplash when she walks past. For a more college appropriate look, however, brogues will be acceptable. More than acceptable actually; they are pretty great flat shoes that look fashion forward with compromising comfort. Most importantly, none of these practical shoes scream ‘I-bought-these-in-Clarks’.

And there you have it: a full low down on how to dress like a boy if you are a girl. Next month how to dress like a girl if you are a boy – just kidding. Wait…

Images: ASOS, Specsavers, Topshop.com, Topman.com, River Island, Net-A-Porter, Zara.com

fashion@motley.ie

facebook.com/MotleyMagazine

Cork Designers Sarah Commane interviews Sarah Corcoran from Poison Moon, Julie O’Connell from Mayo Clothing and Eileen Healy from Oh! Designs and asks them about their respective endeavours. Poison Moon Clothing, Mayo Clothing and Oh! Designs are three brands that offer their customers an alternative to mass produced high street clothing and accessories. Their brands offer quality products that provide the satisfaction of knowing you made a purchase that has integrity, whilst also supporting local business. Each brand offers affordable prices and products that are one of a kind.

Where does Poison Moon source/buy your clothing from? All of us running Poison Moon are very much into fashion, so when we first started we sourced the majority of our stock from our own wardrobes and customised a bit, adding a new twist to previously loved clothes . More recently we’ve moved into purchasing stock in charity shops and a few online distributors. While we enjoy troving the charity shops and have our eyes constantly peeled for interesting finds or hidden gems, we appreciate that not everyone might have the time or patience to do so!

Sarah Corcoran (Poison Moon) Where did the urge to create Poison Moon come from? I think the urge to create Poison Moon came from us wanting to create a place where we’d actually shop ourselves. We felt that in Cork there are a lot of great vintage shops and vintage inspired clothing, but we thought there was a market for something with a more modern aesthetic. We thought a cheaper alternative was needed for purchasing ontrend clothes in the recession, as high-street stores are expensive and vintage can sometimes be over-priced. Charity shopping has increased in popularity greatly but not everyone has the confidence to buy items second-hand and know that they will look fashionable. We do the looking for people and try to buy creatively and find unexpected things to style in a new way. Basically we wanted to create a balance between the two: second-hand clothes that avoided the cliché vintage label to give something modern and affordable.

What would be Poison Moon’s price range? We aimed to make the clothes quite affordable, we feel that value is a defining factor for Poison Moon and want to emphasize the fact that you don’t have to pay a lot to have a cool or interesting look. Naturally we charge more for authentic vintage items but it is still cheaper compared to other outlets. Poison Moon came from our experience of overpriced high street companies and shops and we’d like to keep our prices in line with how much we feel we’d pay ourselves. Most of our stock is between €4-€25, with coats being more expensive and accessories cheaper.

What’s next for Poison Moon? Poison Moon has been a bit quiet the past few weeks but will be starting up again this New Year with more sales and some great new stock. The first photo-shoot we did featuring our clothing was successful, so hopefully there will be more on the horizon!

Can you tell us a bit about Poison Moon’s background?

You can find Poison Moon at twitter.com/PoisonMoonCork and on facebook.

Poison Moon started in October when three of us decided to put our creative energies and eye for fashion into selling unique items of clothing. We decided to create an online page to promote the clothes and Poison Moon’s aesthetic.

Julie O’Connell (Mayo Clothing)

Where did the urge to create Mayo Clothing come from?

How would you describe Poison Moon’s style/aesthetic?

I always wanted to create my own brand – a street style fusion of casual meets couture.

The clothes we stock are more or less based on the kind of styles we wear ourselves, mostly focusing on street style and anything unusual or eclectic. We wanted to include modern pre-owned finds as well as vintage pieces to show how they could be worn together. We created a Facebook page to advertise stock but also to show how individual items could be styled. We all have different styles and aim to find clothing which will work with varied looks, not just our own. For me, the name ‘Poison Moon’ evokes a kind of dark and interesting image which I think we try to reflect in the choice of clothing. Poison Moon tries to choose unique items and create looks with a bit of an edge, but not in a way that appears overly-quirky or tries too hard. We aim to choose clothes which are sophisticated but not boring. The emphasis on vintage can sometimes be on recreating the look of a particular decade, where we like the idea of mixing and matching items to create a fresh and personal look.

Can you tell us a bit about your design background? I have a BA honours degree in Fashion Design from Limerick School of Art and Design. I’m a Fashion Designer and owner of clothing brand Mayo. I have completed fashion internships with Krizia Robustella (March 2011 – August 2011) Barcelona Area, Spain, Fashion Designer at DR Noki NHS (January 2011 – March 2011) London, United Kingdom and Aptform (Michael Gkinis) (March 2009 – July 2009) Tokyo, Japan.

Who is your customer? How would you describe Mayo Clothing’s aesthetic?

Everyone! My customers range from someone looking for a funky headpiece to something more traditional. I’ve had customers who are celebrating their 18th birthday right up to mothers of the bride.

Exploring the cultural beauty of street fashion in its raw state.

You make lots of different products, customised vintage clothing, once-off pieces, plastic accessories and band t-shirt designs. Can you talk a bit about these products?

Oh! Designs was part of CFW last year. Will you be showing a collection next year?

I love new projects; Breda Casey (Miss Daisy Blue) gave me the opportunity to customize damaged early 80s and 90s pieces. I am really enjoying creating these as it is a new challenge and quite different to my previous collections. My own collections are once-off pieces. I love creating the prints and designing new wearable and cute silhouettes. I also only make one of each as I hate mass-produced clothing. I’m a fan of all things plastic! I think plastic accessories make a basic outfit fun and quirky. I love music, and I think band t-shirts instantly make a person youthful and fun. It is also a great challenge to convey the band’s style and concept in one simple Image.

Last year I showed my collection ‘Bride the Obscure’ and I’ve started my collection for next year already. There will a lot of textures and something a bit out there again. CFW gives you the opportunity to create something that perhaps the average customer may not wear.

Where do you see Oh! Designs going in the future? It’s only a couple of months old, so at the moment I’m just trying to get the name out there. I would love to have a shop and, at the moment, I have my stuff in Paper Dolls and The Dress Bar. I would love to have my own shop and have a strong physical presence.

Do you have any advice for aspiring designers? Keep your own style and create your own trends.

Who or what inspires you? Everything from film to nature – and in particular vintage bows or buttons; I often build pieces around a particular vintage item. I’m also inspired by my customers and what they want. I often make bespoke pieces and listen to what my customers want, but also push them in a direction that I think will serve the piece and suit the customer’s style. Often customers have an idea of what they want but they haven’t thought of the practicalities such as what their hairstyle will be on the day or how the hat will fit the entire look they want to achieve. I often advise on colour or try to suggest a hat shape that will suit the particular customer.

What’s next for you and for Mayo Clothing? My aim is to spread Mayo worldwide. I am going to keep creating new collections and partake in any projects or shows available Mayo Clothing can be found at mayoclothing.com and facebook.com/mayoclothing.

Eileen Healy (Oh! Designs) Where did the urge to create Oh! Designs come from? What is Oh! Designs’ price range?

I’ve always loved clothes; I make my own clothes and even made clothes for my dolls when I was younger. I actually studied Science but then decided to formally study fashion. I completed a Diploma in Fashion Design at Mallow College and then did a short course in Millinery [Eileen is a milliner and Oh! Designs specialises in bespoke headpieces]. The name came from my maiden name, ‘O’Herlihy.’ I designed my own wedding invitations and used the name Oh Designs and I decided to use it for the brand.

It varies on materials such as vintage pieces, which can be expensive. Everything I make is one of a kind. Birthday and Hen pieces are around €30 and then the main pieces can be anything from €40 all the way up to €120 depending on the materials. Often the price is dependent on the customer and what they want and how much detail is involved.

You can find Oh! Designs at facebook.com/fascinationbyohdesigns and twitter.com/Oh1Designs. Images: Poison Moon, Mayo Clothing and Oh! Designs.

Easy as ABC

Nicole Clinton sets down the A to Z of Awards Season Fashion

Hollywood is gearing up for its most glamorous time of year, when awards shows from the Golden Globes to the Screen Actors Guild Awards to the Academy Awards will see stars vying for the ultimate fashion prize.

is for Footwear. With E!’s Live on the Red Carpet ‘Stiletto Cam’ taking its place on the red carpet recently, it’s now more important than ever to select the right shoes for under the dress. While the dress may be floor length, it doesn’t mean that the star can neglect their poor feet. Jewel toned sandals or stiletto’s that match the dress prove to be the best options for fashion glory. Red-soled Louboutin’s and Manolo Blahnik’s are, of course, favourites of Hollywood’s leading ladies, but the odds are on Giuseppe Zanotti and Charlotte Olympia to steal the limelight this year. Helena Bonham Carter’s choice to wear two odd shoes at the 2011 Golden Globes still made the more headlines than any matching pair of stilettos!

A is for Arm-Candy. While this isn’t necessarily a direct fashion

matter, a celebrity’s choice of partner is always exciting during awards season. We may be growing tired of the predictability of Brad and Angie and Javier and Penelope, but every year brings a new ‘rumoured’ celebrity couple. The world awaits with baited breath to see if the lovebirds will walk the carpet together and confirm our suspicions. And of course, George Clooney continues to keep us on our toes by bringing a new girl each year (time is running out Stacey Keibler!). The date must also be a fashion-conscious decision: their attire can’t clash with your own, they must adhere to the dress code and it would be an added bonus if their contribution made you a front runner for ‘Best Dressed Couple’. After all, you wouldn’t want your own effort to be brought down by your other half ’s negligence!

G is for Gucci. This fashion giant is never absent from a red carpet

event. Cameron Diaz and Keira Knightley frequently turn to Frida Giannini when making important sartorial choices. As always we can expect brand spokespeople James Franco and Blake Lively to appear decked out in custom made Gucci designs too.

B is for Black. Not an Awards Show goes by without a series of black

gowns invading the carpet. While fashion critics attack this choice as playing it too safe, black is always an undeniably classic look, perfectly offsets elaborate jewellery and never clashes with the carpet. It’s also a favourite of Angelina Jolie, who wore it to both the Academy Awards and the Screen Actors Guild Awards last year.

is for hair. A beautiful dress can be enhanced or destroyed by the hairstyle that’s put with it. Red carpet hair must not only suit the star but it must also support the dress and the look that they want to achieve. A thrown-together ponytail does nothing for a Chanel gown, and if you want to achieve an effortless look, it’s unfortunately going to take a lot of effort!

C is for Cameras. One thing you’re guaranteed to find at any red

carpet event is a legion of photographers waiting to take picture after picture of the biggest stars in attendance for newspapers, magazines and footage for television programmes. Therefore, when choosing the right colour to wear on the night, it’s crucial that the stars check if the colour comes out on film the way it looks in reality; for the 2011 Oscars, Natalie Portman’s Rodarte dress seemed to be a different shade of purple in every different photo, and last year, Emma Stone’s Giambattista Valli gown was apparently fuchsia but appeared as bright red!

I is for In Shape. The gruelling work-out routines that the stars go

and jewels! The stars borrow hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of jewellery each year, with brands such as Cartier and Lorraine Schwartz dishing out designer jewels for the night. Last year, rising actress Jessica Chastain had her dress hand-embroidered with $2million worth of Harry Winston jewels.

through to get ready for award season is often scarier than running through a graveyard in the dark on Halloween after hearing there’s a crazed murderer on the loose. While extremes are not to be endorsed, the way they look underneath is significant in how the overall look appears. There’s nothing worse than a dress that’s too tight (again, *cough*, Mariah Carey, *cough*).

J is for Jewellery. Nothing adds glitz to an ensemble like diamonds

is for Disaster. A fashion disaster that leads you to garner the ‘Worst Dressed’ title is one award that it’s not an honour just to be nominated for. From Bjork’s Swan dress to Meryl Streep’s repeat offending to Tilda Swinton’s ‘acquired taste’, we can always count on someone’s fashion choice to attract our attention for the wrong reason!.

K is for Keeping up with the Trends. Nobody wants to be accused of being out of date on the red carpet, and stylists have an undeniably tough job on their hands creating a piece of fashion history. Look out for Kate Young and Petra Flannery’s styling work – it’s going to dictate trends for the next year.

is for Elegant. Even though Kelly Osborne and Kimora Lee Simons’ painful overuse of the word drove me crazy at last year’s Awards red carpets, I have to admit elegance is what every star should aim to achieve at these black-tie events. The red carpet should be about class, not about ass and stars who don’t recognise this (*cough*, Mariah Carey, *cough*) are just making themselves look stupid and making a mock

is for Long. The perfect awards show dress is always LONG even if only on one side. Mini-skirts are simply a no-go area – unless attending an MTV or People’s Choice Awards, this look is completely out of place! It won’t be classed as original or different but as bad taste.

out of the prestigious event.

M is for Make-Up. Like hair, the make-up look can make or break

a star’s appearance. Too little and you look like you haven’t made an effort, too much and you look over done. The most popular is the smoky – and although traditionally these looks were mutually exclusive, Lanvin has recently been influencing people to try both. Fortunately, Hollywood royalty are not fond of the fake-tan look (unlike most Irish girls who go to their debs looking like an Oompa Loompa), so those who are naturally golden skinned dress in accordance with that and those that are pale flaunt it in the same fashion.

N is for NEVER wear the same thing twice and NEVER wear the

U is for Umbrella. You’re more likely to need this item at Lon-

same thing as someone else! Thankfully, not many celebrities have the nerve to try this (with the exception of actor Daniel Day Lewis who supposedly wore the same Paul Smith Suit to the BAFTAS and the Oscars in 2008). Recession or no recession, the stars don’t even have to buy the dress/tux so the least they can do is keep us entertained by borrowing a different one for each show.

don’s BAFTA’s than LA’s Academy Awards, but it’s important to have one just in case the rain rears its ugly head! The star rarely holds their own umbrella so this is where the trusty PA, bodyguard or, in some cases, fame-hogging toyboy steps in to do the honour of protecting the valuable outfit from the weather. The umbrella must always be plain black so as not to clash with anything.

V is for Valentino. This veteran designer has designed countless

is for Originality. Nothing is more boring for a fashion lover than seeing a celebrity with an eye-wateringly predictable sense of style. Angie’s notorious love of black has in some ways made her a forgettable presence on the red carpet. Going for colours or looks that are not your typical style but still suit your shape can make you stand out from the crowd and reach your fashion peak. Steer clear of anything that’s very similar to a dress that someone else has worn before also, as this may draw some unwanted comparisons and ‘Who wore it better?!’

P is for Posing. The models on the runway are trained to make a

dress look good. Very few dresses look good in every pose, so it is essential that the star poses for the camera in a way that makes their gown and their body look flawless and shows off the designs best assets. Just take a look at Lea Michele, posing extraordinaire.

Q is for Queen of the Carpet (Best Dressed). This honour often

takes from the winners of the actual awards and it gives it’s proud honouree serious fashion credentials. Luckily, it’s impossible to choose just one Queen but to get a mention one needs to have the whole package: dress, hair, make-up, jewellery, shoes. For the lucky star, lucrative fashion endorsements are sure to follow.

is for Red Carpet. It’s important to remember that the carpet will be seen in every photo of the dress so stars should try not to clash with it by wearing highlighter yellow!

S is for Skin. This one is all about a happy medium. Too much skin

is trashy, but a little adds a hint of sexiness to the ensemble. Usually, stars are safe with either: A) a slit up the side if the leg, B) a low neck, or C) a low back. But even two out of three are is much. Anne Hathaway’s fish scale backless Armani gown is the perfect example of the right amount of skin

T is for Tuxedo. We must not forget that the men have to look their

best on the red carpet also. The perfect tux must reflect their personal style (Johnny Depp adds chains and hats to his suit), fit well and be appropriate for the event. While black with a white shirt is the most popular choice, midnight blue or brown suits or a red or black shirt can also be acceptable. Some guys like Brad Pitt go for the bow-tie while others, such as Tom Cruise stick with an ordinary tie.

remarkable gowns for the biggest stars over the years. Red is often his colour of choice and has been worn by the likes of Anne Hathaway to the 2011 Oscars and Nicole Kidman.

W is for ‘Who are you wearing?’ This iconic question is uttered

by every entertainment presenter who interviews any star, male or female, on the red-carpet. It serves two purposes: 1) to inform the fashion hungry audience of what designer made the beautiful (or hideous!) creation, and 2) it allows the star to endorse the designer who kindly leant them the dress to raise their own profile. Embarrassing situations often arise when the star forgets or cannot pronounce the designers name and leads the viewer to believe that they are either stupid or already intoxicated.

X is for X Factor. The star that truly stands out from all the others has that special something. They have to express the attitude and the aura that makes us believe that they are a real superstar. This charisma, much to the dismay of many wannabes, cannot be bought or created- they just either have it or they don’t.

Y is for Yoga. Stars like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Aniston use this relaxing exercise to stay in shape for red-carpet events.

is for Zac Posen. Dressing everyone from Naomi Watts to Gwyneth Paltrow and Tina Fey, Posen has created some of the most directional and modern looks during recent awards seasons, dressing everyone from Naomi Watts to Gwyneth Paltrow and Tina Fey.

Featuring

Michael Clifford Irish Examiner columnist

Joe Duffy

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Available In UCC At the Student Centre and Vistors’ Centre Online @ UCCJournalismSociety.Org Opening Address To Be Given by The Irish Examiner For Further Updates and Information Follow @UCCJournoConf

John Waters Irish Times Tim columnist

Conor Ryan Irish Examiner Investigative Correspondent

Charlie Bird Journalist and former RTE chief news correspondent

Mary Fitzgerald Foreign Correspondent for the Irish Times

Br Brendan O'Neill In Association With Editor of Spiked and the Telegraph contributor