At the Intersection of Race and Gender: Being a Latina in Seminary

At the Intersection of Race and Gender:

BEING A LATINA IN SEMINARY

by Nayalisa Cuevas

Nayalisa Cuevas is a Puerto Rican who was born and raised in the city of Chicago. She just completed her MDiv at TEDS and has recently moved to Kansas City to be an Associate Pastor at Christ Community for their two-year Pastoral Residency Program. Her goal in life is to faithfully minister, love, and serve people wherever God leads her. It was a Monday night. As normal, I was going about my Monday duties, which entailed: class, work, dinner at a friend’s house, and a night class. This night class, Latin American Preaching, was the first time the school had ever offered it. I was learning so much, but this Monday night was different. A guest lecturer, Dr. Carroll, came and spoke about the day to day lived experiences that Latin@s 1 face. From issues like immigration to the temptation of assimilation, Dr. Carroll made sure his audience felt the pain, sweat, and tears many Latin@s face here in America. As I sat there listening, my heart was beating faster than normal and tears were flooding my eyes like a waterfall. I was embarrassed and overcome by shame. Why? Because as he began to explain the struggles of my people, my seven-year journey of theological education flashed before my eyes. There was one episode that kept playing on repeat like watching a rerun of How I Met Your Mother. The episode was titled Assimilation and I was the main character. It all began to make sense. As Dr. Carroll described the ones who assimilated, I knew I could check every box. After the lecture was over, I went up to Dr. Carroll carrying all my shame. The tears that were welling up in my eyes began to stream down my face. All I could say was, “How do you go back? What happens if you assimilated? Please, how do you go back?” He

looked at me with compassion, grabbed my arm, rubbed my skin, and said, “You are not white, no eres blanca, and that’s okay.” As I write about being a Latina in seminary, I start with this story because it captures my journey. My experience as a Latina in seminary is just that, my experience. I do not pretend to capture all the experiences of Latinas, yet the reality is that I am part of a system that wants nothing to do with people like me, which means that our stories need to be told. Stories that not only need to be told but listened to. Perhaps, if we actually sat down and listened to each other’s stories we wouldn’t be so afraid or intimidated by “the other.” Being a Latina in seminary is a different lived reality than being White, Black, Asian, or Native American.

Since the experiences of Latinas in seminary are uniquely different than other ethnic groups, the pressure to assimilate is dominant. The lack of representation of Latinas in seminary is staggering. The Association of Theological Schools captures data each school year on the demographics of students who are enrolling and graduating. Some of the categories include: ethnic background, age, gender, marital status, and financial status. For the 27,922 students enrolled in MDiv programs across the USA, the program I was enrolled in, for the Fall 2015 school year only 373 were Latinas. 2 That is only 1.33%. Latinas are the second lowest people group represented, with Native American women being the lowest. White women comprised of 4,115, being the highest, with African American women coming behind them at 2,140, and Asian women coming in at 463. 3 At Trinity, there were only 4 Latinas enrolled in the graduate side at the master’s level, and only 2, one of them was me, enrolled in the MDiv program. The point in showing these statistics is to show how underrepresented Latinas are in theological education and the need for Latinas to be represented. Understanding this truth highlights the reality that what Latinas experience in seminary is vastly different than what whites, as well as other minority groups, experience. Our stories need to be given the proper space to be told because they 1 I will use this term to refer to both Latinos and Latinas. 2 This information can be found here: https://www. ats.edu/uploads/resources/ institutional-data/annual-da ta-tables/2015-2016-annu al-data-tables.pdf 3 Ibid. There is not one monolithic way of pursuing justice. Therefore, there should be freedom to explore what resistance and pursuit of justice looks like for Latin@s.

usually are stories of deep pain.

I wish I could have known what I know now. At my undergrad, I was the only Latina on my floor out of 60 girls. Many times, I was the only Latina in my classes. My white male professors made fun of those who believed in the out workings of the Holy Spirit. They said that my people did not really understand the Scriptures the way they did. I was told that I was from the “out of the hood program.” So, I assimilated. I couldn’t bear the weight of being different. As I entered Trinity, I was convinced I was white. When I came in 2014, I was the only Latina enrolled in the graduate side. So, not only had I never seen people who look like me make it in theological education, I actually had no peer who was in this with me that looked like me. It’s hard being in a place where not only are you questioned because of your gender but also because of your ethnicity. I barely talked in classes because I felt the pressure that when and if I opened my mouth I was doing so on behalf of Latin America. So, being Latina in seminary is being constantly reminded that you really don’t belong, not even with the minorities. Our society, and sadly our churches, are so polarized that as a result the conversation of racial reconciliation is just as polarized. As a Latina, I feel like there’s no space for us. Latin@s are different from other minority groups, which means that there should be space for other modes of expression. There are issues Latin@s face that are uniquely different than other minority groups. The way we go about dealing with those issues should look different. There is not one monolithic way of pursuing justice. Therefore, there should be freedom to explore what resistance and pursuit of justice looks like for Latin@s. Being a Latina in seminary for me is being reminded that for the whites, I am not white enough, and for the Puerto Ricans, I am not Puerto Rican enough. Being Latina in seminary is constantly being on guard and figuring out how to survive. Being Latina in seminary is being reminded that your people really don’t matter. In their book, Latina Evangélicas, Loida Martell-Otero, Zaida Maldonado Pérez, and Elizabeth Conde-Frazier write about what it means to be a Latina evangélica, which is different than the way the majority culture defines the word “evangelical.” 4 They talk about the absence of Latinas and their theology. MartellOtero states, “Our absence is not due to the fact that we have nothing to contribute, but rather has occurred because our traditions have too easily been dismissed.” 5 Our seminaries need to do the work of not only accepting Latin@s into their programs, but hiring them into key leadership roles where power is shared.

Latin@s have their own unique traditions that need to be voiced and welcomed at the table because silence is telling. Our seminaries need to do the work of not only accepting Latin@s into their programs, but hiring them into key leadership roles where power is shared. Being a Latina in seminary should mean being accepted as we are. Being Latina in seminary should mean that we do belong because God’s kingdom is not homogenous. Being Latina in seminary should mean that we are treated equally like our white brothers and sisters. Being Latina in seminary should mean that we are not silenced because of our difference, but welcomed because of it. Being Latina in seminary should mean that required reading for our classes should include POC. Being Latina in seminary should mean that I learn from professors who look like me. Being Latina in seminary does mean that, “without justice there can be no salvation.” 6 4 However, I do recognize that this word is loaded and what people mean by it varies.

5 Loida I. Martell-Otero, Zaida Maldonado Pérez, and Elizabeth Conde-Frazier. Latina Evangélicas: A Theological Survey from the Margins. (Eugene, OR: Cascade Books, 2013), 3.

6 Ibid., 35