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Opening Hearts and Hands to Those in Need
Ron Rice Suffering in silence is the plight of many people in our congregations, families, and communities. Many with mental difficulties suffer in silence. Sister Vacek properly identifies problems associated with ministering to those with mental illness and calls us to action as Christian ministers. Her article deals with defining the problem, identifying causes, and suggesting positive action. I applaud her work. I would like to lift up a few of her thoughts and add some observations I have had during my ministry. “We may not know how to offer help,” she writes. Not only do we not know how to offer help, we do not know how to help. We do not understand people with mental problems. Some people think that telling a person what they should do will help them. Some believe that their problems are a result of sin. Still others believe that mental illness will go away if the person just tries harder or just takes the right pill. We do not like being around people with mental difficulties because we do not understand them and we do not know what to say or what to do. Being around a depressed person is in itself depressing. Sister Vacek suggests that understanding mental illness through the stigma theory will help. She writes, “Stigma surfaces in human relationships when attributes of an individual vary from what social norms tell us one ‘should’ be.” This is a good beginning. Stigma or prejudice hinders relationships and separates us from others. If we look deeper we find that many people who allow stigma and prejudice to pattern their relationships often feel inadequate themselves and believe that they are bad people. Instead of dealing with their own issues, they condemn others in order to protect their own needs. In her article Sister Vacek also suggests three ways a Christian community can help. “First, congregations can form themselves as places of deep Christian hospitality.” Providing a safe environment where we can trust others enough to be open is a great direction. “Second, congregations and individual Christians can accompany those who suffer.” Part of this direction, we are told, is to listen to others. Often we approach others with the solution to their issues; however, it is much better to listen to them rather than to try to solve their problem. Listening is not easy. We are often thinking of what to say to others rather than listening to what they are saying. We should be teaching our people how to listen. That skill will not only help with ministering to those who are mentally ill, but it will help in all our relationships. And third, “congregations can acknowledge the presence of social stigma and work to combat it” by learning about mental illness—its causes and treatments. These are all great suggestions. There is no surprise as Sister Vacek reports that “Goffman’s third proposed source of stigma includes stigmatization caused by religion.” Many times I have encountered “church people” who were causing mental difficulties in others. The term ecclesiogenic—problems caused by the church—is very appropriate. Philip Yancey, in his book What Is So Amazing About Grace? recounts the story of a prostitute seeking help in her recovery. In the past, she had sold not only her own body but that of her two-year-old daughter to those interested in kinky sex. When she was asked if she ever