Life after Infidelity Ebook

after Infidelity

Introducti

Life after Infidelity is a simple tool to help those who may be struggling to figure out what’s next after a tough moment or experience. It’s never easy to move past heartbreak and betrayal especially in a marriage but this book will give you a guide to find your PATH again. There is life after betrayal, deceit, trials, and challenges. You just have to see it……

PATIENCE

Life after infidelity starts with patience. Understanding that while you are hurt and feel betrayed,life can not stop. If you have work and raising children in the midst of a transition, patience will be your best friend. Patience gives you the space to heal, to understand, to cry, to reflect, and any other emotions that may occur without a timeframe. Healing DOES NOT have an EXPIRATION DATE. We tend to rush everything in life thinking it will eliminate the pain, hurt, frustration and headache. When I was experiencing trials in my marriage, I still had to run my businesses, raise 2 amazing girls, be the supportive and present friend, daughter, mother, relative etc; all while crying inside and filled with anger in addition to self esteem lowering by the second. Heavenly Father revealed to me that healing takes time. And with everything that takes time, patience is required. Understanding that each day he allows us to see and have breathe is another day we get to work on our healing and understanding. Nothing in life happens by MISTAKE

it’s a small

life!

ACCEPTENCE

Next is Acceptence. This is probably the deepest and most intensive part about life after infidelity. It took me a long time to accept the situation for what it was verses blaming myself for what happened. When your spouse hurts you by cheating and lying, normally the first statement you think to yourself or even speak out loud is “Was it something I did or didn’t do?” It’s literally second nature to think if someone made a choice to hurt you, you are thinking to yourself what did i do to cause this to happen I’m here to tell you right now WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE‘S ACTIONS!!!!! Understanding one’s decision or choice is a mere reflection of them not you. So when your partner DECIDED to cheat, it had nothing to do with you. In all relationships, rather its friendships, partnerships, marriages whatever you will only get 80% of what you need out of the connection. Once this percentage is accepted and understood, a lot of betrayal and infidelity would not take place Unfortunately most people expect 100% from every connection and when they don’t receive it, they feel that’s a green light to find that missing 20% while trying to maintain that 80%. Reality is, they are jeopardizing losing that larger percentage for less. To expect 100% from someone shows how selfish and self centered one can be. To expect your partner to constantly pour from an empty cup to make sure your pitcher is full is unrealistic! Once individuals accept each other for what they are capable of giving and understand that it is literally impossible for your significant other to give you 100% within your relationship but it is always room for growth and improvement An open line of communication and truly understanding your partner’s needs and desires will allow balance and grace to be restored.

TRUST

Now there's Trust!!! Its one of the hardest steps to master after experiencing infidelity. For me especially!! Its not just trusting your spouse again but restoring trust in ANYONE again. When you go through a trial such as this, it is very hard to see the good in people anymore. When healing, the trust has to be restored with yourself FIRST!!! Knowing that you weren't at fault and trusting yourself to know that you are deserving of better is the first step. Then as you heal, you start to trust your spouse again. Even if you all decide to part ways, trusting them to heal and become a better person for the next relationship is key to your healing process as well. Then lastly, trusting that the next person wont hurt you like the last!! This part of the healing definitely will take time. To experience this part of trust, the healing from the past has to be fully resolved before even considering to trust the future. One thing I want to state or make very clear, HEALING TAKES TIME!!!! It's no need to rush or skip steps in the healing process because rather you decide to work it out or move on, you want to be a better person for them, but most importantly, you want to be a better for YOURSELF! So taking your time and necessary steps with your healing process is vital. You got this!!!

HAPPINESS

Lastly, we experience HAPPINESS! This one is my absolute favorite. Simply because true happiness starts from within! Knowing who you were created to be without any limits or boundaries in your greatness is such a liberating feeling. True happiness is simply loving yourself for who you are and grateful for the stage of life you are in with knowing the greatness that lies ahead. A lot of the time, we tend to look for happiness in our spouses, friends, family, or our children even. We were created as individuals by the Most High first and any titles or roles we obtain after are solely based by decisions and free will choices. Once we find our true happiness within ourselves we understand that life happens and people make decisions that best fits their needs and desires in that moment. For me, my happiness was and still is centered around my Heavenly Father's word! Truly understanding that he operates in love, peace, and joy helps me to find my own love, peace and joy plus internal happiness. If I don't inspire you or help with this book, one thing I want to make sure I leave with you all.......