EDITOR'S NOTES
Because I said so! Published by GO Creative, LLC 263 29th Avenue SW Albany, OR 97322 Editor-in-Chief Managing Director Angela Hibbard angela@mommag.com Mid-Valley & Lane County Business Development Manager Linda Blair linda@mommag.com 541-231-7250 Salem Advertising Representative Kim Leighty kim.leighty@mommag.com 503-510-9036 Tri-Cities Business Development Manager Kim Harvey kim@mommag.com 509-460-6526 Designer Sean Carver We love hearing from you. Email info@mommag.com with feedback, story ideas or nominations. MOM MagazineTM is produced by GO Creative, LLC. © 2018 All rights reserved. Any reproduction, in whole or part, without written permission of the publisher, is prohibited. Information in the magazine is provided for general information purposes only with the understanding that none of the content constitutes professional advice. Opinions expressed by the writers or advertisers are not necessarily the opinions of the magazine or the publisher. Inclusion in the magazine does not constitute endorsement of information, products or services.
Don’t do for others what they can do for themselves. If you’ve spent time around self-help circles, you’ve probably come across the phrase “Don’t do for others what they can do for themselves.” Like so many things in life, I have a new appreciation for this sentiment now that I am a mom— especially as my kids grow older and gain more independence.
in order to let them do for themselves I have to accept that it will never be done my way and will likely take twice as long. But if I take a deep breath and summon extra powers of patience, they can do for themselves.
By definition, the mother-child relationship is one of dependency. Your newborn baby literally can’t live without your total devotion and care. Then moment by moment, year by year, the relationship slowly, but steadily, shifts. While our kids need us for so much, ultimately our job is to allow them to grow to the point where they don’t need us at all (sniff, sniff) and are ready to launch into adulthood on their own. For a control freak like me with codependent tendencies, that can be a challenging transition. So I try to remind myself, “Don’t do for others (my kids) what they can do for themselves.” Sometimes it’s small things like my current crusade not to answer questions they can answer themselves. “Mom, what time is it?” asks my son endlessly while standing in the kitchen surrounded by no less than three time-telling devices: microwave, oven, coffee pot—okay, the time on the coffee pot never seems to be right, but you get my drift. Other transitions feel more significant like potty training, tying shoelaces, doing their own laundry, packing their lunches or even (gulp) learning to drive. Whatever the task,
Back to school is a great time to reevaluate what new responsibilities your child can take on. Remember that our success as moms ultimately involves us working ourselves out of a job—except for the unconditional love part; that stuff’s forever. Why? Because I said so!
Angela Hibbard MOM Magazine Editor-in-Chief
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