I quit my job today. The money from my Nigerian Prince arrives tomorrow. I'm so excited . A nice young couple went out to dinner in a Chinese restaurant that they had heard good things about. They were seated and ordered their drinks. As they contemplated what to order the waiter suggested the house special, assuring them it would be quite delicious. Feeling a bit adventuresome they decided to try the house special. Shortly thereafter the staff brought out bowls of rice and mixed vegetables. So far, so good, the pair thought. Moments later a large covered pot was placed on the table, and the staff cheerily said “enjoy your meal” and glided away. As the husband was about to lift the lid and ladle out some of the contents…the lid lifted an inch or so on its own and a pair of beady little eyes stared out from within, looked around a bit, and dropped back down. The lid clinked. The couple stared at each other and asked themselves did we just see that? Almost immediately the lid raised up again and the beady little eyes once more scanned the room and dropped back down with a clank. Now, the young couple were quite disturbed and called for the waiter. They asked him “just what have you served us?” “Oh, very delicious meal sir, ……………. Peeking Duck”
Solutions page 14
QUICK CROSSWORD
REG’S BENCH A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' For those of you who are placing Christmas lights / decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my gin out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
WORD SEARCH
Across 1 Enfold, surround (7) 5 Begin (5) 8 Long-necked wading bird (5) 9 Underground stem (7) 10 Respire (7) 11 Made an effort (5) 12 Spasmodic muscle contraction (6) 14 Whips (6) 18 High-IQ organisation (5) 20 Expose (7) 22 Go over again (7) 23 Be (5) 24 Row of shrubs (5) 25 Beg, entreat (7) Down 1 Put on display (7) 2 Stanza (5) 3 Madman (7) 4 Separated (6) 5 Rapid (5) 6 Do away with (7) 7 Trample (5)
13 Lit (7) 15 Bowmen (7) 16 Withdraw from a contest (7) 17 Excellent (6)
18 Area of swampy ground (5) 19 Astound (5) 21 Put into words (5)
CRYPTIC CROSSWORD Across 1 Wandering mine, danger if exploded (10) 7 Better off potted (2,6) 8 Garden building half finished (4) 9 Neat work by hairdresser? (4) 10 Wild parsley for team members (7) 12 Bedfordshire town in which fictional aviator has to paddle (11) 14 Seriousness that makes things fall (7) 16 When food won't go down quickly? (4) 19 Beloved but expensive (4) 20 Feelings time soon alters (8) 21 Lasting well in its present form (10) Down 1 Artist in a film one tried to see (5) 2 Loving a party call (7) 3 Noble expected to embrace king (4) 4 Not pitying crooked hustlers (8) 5 A street in New York that's unpleasant (5) 6 Late transport (6) 11 Moves about restlessly,
making bets (8) 12 Breakfast's beginning with terribly early cereal (6) 13 Ordering caviare demonstrates greed (7) 15 A writer of sciencefiction never needs to take part (5) 17 Principle unaffected by revolution (5) 18 No American displays common sense (4)
SODUKU Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9, with no number repeated. 18
MOLONG EXPRESS, Thursday 6 July 2023
MOLONG EXPRESS, Thursday 11 November 2021
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