Misc.11.14.24

The Miscellany News

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November 14, 2024

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 162 | Issue 9

RunVassar hosts 5K for MECA Wildfires burn in New York Julian Balsley Reporter

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n Saturday, Nov. 9, 105 Vassar students and faculty participated in a charity 5K run for aid to Palestine and Lebanon, organized by RunVassar, a student running club. To participate, runners were required to donate a minimum of $5 to the Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA), a non-

profit humanitarian aid organization supporting children and families in Palestine, Lebanon and Iraq. According to RunVassar President Pooja Huded ’25, the event raised a total of $667.55 as of Nov. 12.

RunVassar was founded by Huded in the 2021/22 school year, during her freshman year at Vassar. The Nov. 9 run was the club’s third annual aid event. In 2022, See RunVassar on page 3

Image courtesy of Leo Kogan ’28.

Sydney Mize

Guest Reporter

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rom Nov. 9 to Nov. 10, the New York State Department of Health issued an air quality alert for the Hudson Valley as several wildfires burned across the Northeast.

These included a brush fire in Arlington, the Jennings Creek fire along the New YorkNew Jersey border and a brush fire in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park.

Students commented on the air quality on campus, which faced degradation due to the smoke from nearby wildfires. Denise Duran ’28 said, when she made her way outdoors on Sunday, Nov. 10, “Why does it smell like a barbecue?” She had thought the smoky air outside was fog but, once she realized what it was, she reported the smell was very bothersome. Another student, Heewon Ham ’28, specified that in the town of Dover, 40 minutes from Vassar College, the air quality was much better. Ham said, “Coming up from Dover, I couldn’t smell anything. When I came to campus, I was wondering why it was so empty. I stepped out of the car and was hit by the smog.”

The wildfires are much more prevalent due to a fierce drought that has forced the state of New York to implement new forest fire policies to help keep communities safe.

The drought has drastically increased the wildfire risk in the Hudson Valley this year.

According to CBS News, 6.4 percent of New York is currently experiencing a mod-

Sustainability efforts evolve Rugby Lora Janczewski Guest Columnist

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am certain that at some point this week, on your way out of the Deece, you noticed large black bins adjourned in cartoons of Vassar’s unofficial mascot—the wompwomp—asking you to donate your Halloween costumes instead of discarding them. If you are an upperclassman who is not living in one of the nine traditional dormitories, you may have been greeted by mysterious new composting bins in front of your door with directions on how to effectively compost and…another womp-womp (sticker) inside! Maybe as you scrolled through Instagram, you paused to watch a reel by EcoVC featuring womp-womps guiding you to the sustainability-free library followed by another video featuring Chappell Roan’s hit song, “Hot To Go” and a returning initiative on Vassar: Green 2 Go. Other than featuring Vassar’s beloved womp-womps, these sightings all share something in common: the start of restructuring sustainability at Vassar.

In May 2024, Vassar College welcomed a new director of the Office of Sustainability, Kenneth Foster. When Foster stepped up to this new responsibility, it quickly became clear that changes to sustainability approaches on campus were inevitable.

Foster began his environmental career

Inside this issue

at Cornell University where he discovered his passion for sustainability and conservation. Spurred by the lack of initiatives dedicated to preserving the environment and natural ecosystems, he shifted his academic focus to environmental science, where a degree specializing in natural resources would allow him to tackle environmental issues.

However, in a surprising turn of events, Foster traveled abroad to China. Immersed in the culture, Foster studied Chinese, lived in China and Taiwan for many years and received a Doctorate of Philosophy in political science instead. After his studies, Foster moved to Vancouver to continue his research and teach Chinese politics at the University of British Columbia, an experience which confirmed his preference for working with undergraduates rather than in research and publishing.

With a desire to educate, Foster made an effort to teach at a liberal arts college— not Vassar yet! For the past 17 years, Foster had been teaching political science courses at Concordia College, and yet again, Foster drifted to environmentalism. Among many others, Foster taught courses on current international environmental concerns: climate change, environmental policy and sustainable development. At Concordia, Foster also co-produced the first See Sustainability on page 5

goes

Maryam Bacchus Managing Editor

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erate drought due to the lack of precipitation in the area. Additionally, CBS claims that while a drought is expected roughly every five to ten years in this specific area, the Lower Hudson Valley has been victim to them for the past two years as well.

Vassar College is taking action to ensure students’ safety by following the recommendations of the NY State Department of Environmental Conservation, including the administration of a burn ban to help reduce the risk of an accidental wildfire.

Campus Response Center Lieutenant Salvatore Incorvaia reminded students via a Nov. 4 email of campus policies regarding open fires on school grounds. Additionally, the contained fire pits run by Campus Activities are prohibited from being used to reduce the risk on campus even further. Incorvaia wrote in the fire safety email, “With current weather conditions, any stray spark can start a blaze.” The communication noted that, “With the volume of dry leaves and evergreen needles on the ground, caution should be used with any type of open-flame, sparks, or combustion devices.”

If the conditions worsen and the state fire watch turns into a warning, a restriction of water use will have to be put in place, according to CBS News. CBS also recommends being mindful of water use and recycling water when possible.

Dr. Kenneth Foster, Director of Sustainability for Vassar College, is pointing See Fire on page 3

or the first time in almost 20 years, Vassar men’s rugby saw an undefeated regular season. Across their 10 games, the team earned nine wins—three being shutouts— before a defeat by Hofstra University in an action-packed semifinal game of the TriState Conference Championship. Though I am a relative novice when it comes to all things sports, I found myself invested in the team’s season after attending their second game—a shutout against crosstown rivals Marist College. Most recently, I attended their 10th game at home against Hofstra University where both teams fought hard, yet the visiting team ultimately prevailed.

Inspired by the home team’s grit and humble attitude following the semifinal game, I sat down with captains Matheo Dwyer ’25 and Jack Gibberd ’25 to recap their experiences and this season’s highlights.

The two began by describing their familial ties to rugby. For Gibberd, his maternal uncle attended Vassar and was captain in 1989, so he was aware of the sport and signed up to play during his first-year orientation week after looking for a change of pace from baseball, which he played all his life. Dwyer—whose father is an alumnus of the college and was good friends with Gibberd’s uncle—joined the team during the

undefeated spring semester of his first year after persistent recruitment from especially-social members of the team. Both explained that the social life of the team has been one of the consistent forces behind their dedication to the sport, and ultimately, the team’s culture has contributed to their combined success.

The captains agreed that, behind the scenes, social life is especially relevant to build the trusting relationships necessary when playing a high-impact sport. “You go out on a field with your teammates trusting that they’re going to do everything that they can to keep you obviously from getting hurt, and it builds a really, really strong sense of community when you’re putting complete faith in everybody in your team,” Gibberd commented.

Last fall, the team won the Tri-State Conference Championship. Given their previous success, this year’s squad was eager to put in the necessary work to maintain their record and still improve.

A highlight and defining moment for Gibberd was Vassar’s game against Wesleyan University, which was one of the team’s only losses last fall. Going into this season, the team was motivated by the loss. In practices leading up to the game, they sought to push themselves in order to make it both fun and memorable. Sure enough, Vassar’s team emerged victorious and even had a See Rugby on page 14

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Veterans’ Voices

In honor of Veterans’ Day, Vassar’s veterans share stories of service and civilian life

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November 14, 2024

THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS

Charlotte Robertson Maryam Bacchus Allen Hale Jesse Koblin Nicolas Villamil Jacques Abou-Rizk CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Allison Lowe NEWS EDITORS Sarah McNeil Makenna Monaghan Emma Adams ARTS EDITOR Yaksha Gummadapu FEATURES EDITORS Caris Lee Luke Jenkins ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Soren Fischer OPINIONS EDITORS Lev Winickoff Oliver Stewart HUMOR EDITORS Nicholas Tillinghast Josie Wenner ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR Henry France SPORTS EDITOR Molly Delahunty DESIGN EDITORS Ellie Kogan Amelia Gracie ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITORS Lucas Seguinot Anabel Lee COPY EDITOR Willa Jewitt ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS Ailynn O’Neill Tori Kim GRAPHICS EDITOR Felix Mundy-Mancino GAMES EDITOR Olivia Khan SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS Richard Lu Fallon Dern LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Kai Chang WEBMASTER Jordan Alch REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS Julian Balsley Emma Brown Wren Buehler Ben Kaplan Anna Kozloski Casey McMenamin Madeleine Nicks CARTOONISTS Andrew Chu Ian Watanabe COPY STAFF Sadie Bakken-Durchslag Darja Coutts Grace Finke Paige Hahn Quinn Kou Angela Moon Tess Novack Edward Welch Morgan

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

NEWS

November 14, 2024

Hudson

Valley

Continued from Fire on page 1 to some larger changes in the world that are having a direct effect on the current drought in the Hudson Valley. “Although we can’t blame climate change for any specific drought, the science of climate change has shown persuasively that a warming climate is destabilizing weather patterns, leading to more common and more extreme periods of drought and flooding,” he explained.

He pointed to examples of other environmental safety concerns in the past few years, citing climate change as causing these phenomena to be more and more likely to occur and increasingly strong. Foster wrote, “For example, attribution analysis showed that climate change made the 2021 Pacific Northwest heat wave, a one in 1000-year event, both more likely and hotter than it would have been if carbon dioxide levels had remained what they were a century ago.”

He stated that there are some ways we can fight climate change, which directly causes situations like the wildfire risk we see now.

“The remedy is to support strong action by governments, business firms and others to curtail carbon emissions.”

Incorvaia pointed out some sources that could be beneficial for students to watch for updates, “This is one of the longest fall dry spells we’ve had in many years, coupled with windy conditions and leaf debris, it creates an increased opportunity for accidental fires. You can find the daily fire danger level

put

under

on the New York State DEC Fire Danger Rating Map.” Some students may be wondering how the air quality may affect their health in the near future. Margot Schinella, Director of Health Services at Vassar, explains, “Shortterm health effects can include eye irritation, coughing, wheezing, difficulty breathing, and chest tightness.” She also expressed that students with underlying health conditions may experience more difficulties with the current conditions, “Individuals with underlying respiratory conditions such as asthma may be especially sensitive to changes in air quality and should consider limiting their outdoor exposure on poor air quality days. Poor air quality can worsen symptoms of asthma and other respiratory conditions.”

Schinella advises that staying informed regarding the air quality outdoors is the most important, writing, “There are many apps and tools that can be used for this purpose. For example, AirNow.gov by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the U.S Forest Service provides air quality data and wildfire information based on your zip code. She says, “These helpful tools can assist students in making informed decisions about their participation in outdoor activities.”

Schinella also speaks to the importance of keeping yourself safe indoors if you are a member of one of the more vulnerable groups, “If you are sensitive to poor air

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quality, consider reducing your outdoor exposure, closing windows and using air purifiers in indoor spaces when possible. If air purifiers are not able to be used, consider wearing a mask when indoors.” Sometimes, there is no opportunity to avoid going outdoors. Schinella recommends in these circumstances, “If you are sensitive and must go outdoors, consider wearing a high quality mask such as a KN95. It is also helpful to shower after being outdoors in order to remove any particulates that could be harm-

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ful to your respiratory system.” She also reminded pet owners that their animals could be vulnerable to breathing difficulties, explaining, “Our pets can be sensitive too, so be sure to monitor this and limit their outdoor activity as well!”

The recent rainfall on Nov. 11 has helped to alleviate some of the more severe air quality issues; however, the lower Hudson Valley continues to experience moderate drought conditions, with wildfire risk continuing to be a concern.

Image courtesy of Berk Meral ’28.

RunVassar 5K raises money for aid to Palestine and Lebanon Continued from RunVassar on page 1 following the Supreme Court’s Dobbs v.

Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, which overturned Roe v. Wade and abolished the constitutional right to abortion, RunVassar hosted an event in collaboration with Vassar Voices for Planned Parenthood. Huded explained, “We wanted to raise money for women and people who need access to reproductive healthcare, to have access to that. So all that money went to Planned Parenthood.” In 2023, the club collaborated with Vassar Haiti Project to help plant trees in Haiti.

Of this year’s event, Huded said, “I don’t think any of it was planned but it was like people just felt like they wanted to raise money for this, and then we were like, ‘How can we do that through our club?’”

RunVassar Vice President Halle Snell ’25 added, “The orgs we picked kind of reflect what’s going on in the world. Like, we always want to make sure that we’re being conscious about what the biggest need is at the moment… And this year, it was very clear.”

Snell continued, “This just felt really important because of how many people have been killed, how many people have been displaced, how many needs there are in the region, like, there are people without food, people without water; water and food aren’t even being allowed in.” On Oct. 7, 2023, when militants from the Palestinian political organization Hamas killed roughly 1,200 Israelis and took another 250 hostage, Israel responded by beginning a significant siege on the Gaza Strip. As of Nov. 9, the official death toll of Palestinians killed by Israel is over 43,500; according to the medical journal The Lancet, a conservative estimate that includes indirect deaths brings the death toll to over 186,000.

The United Nations Human Rights Office reported on Nov. 8, 2024, “Of those fatalities, it has so far found close to 70 percent to be children and women, indicating a

systematic violation of the fundamental principles of international humanitarian law, including distinction and proportionality.” In March 2024, Francesca Albanese, a United Nations special rapporteur on human rights in the Palestinian Territories, said, “There are reasonable grounds to believe that the threshold indicating the commission of the crime of genocide…has been met.” ProPublica reported in September 2024 that the U.S. Agency for International Development concluded that Israel has deliberately blocked humanitarian aid from entering the Gaza Strip, including by killing aid workers and bombing ambulances and hospitals. As of Nov. 9, famine is likely imminent in parts of northern Gaza.

“It’s really easy to feel helpless in these situations. And I think I’ve felt a lot, like, ‘Oh, how am I supposed to help? This feels like such a big issue that’s so far away,’” Snell described. “But I think when our annual 5K came around, it was kind of unanimous, where we were like, ‘Yeah, this seems like a really big humanitarian issue that we can help raise money for.’”

RunVassar settled on MECA after asking Vassar Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) for recommendations. “They do a lot more research than me about what organizations are reputable, and they’ve done fundraisers in the past,” said Snell. She added that MECA had been suggested by SJP due to the large impact they are making on the ground in Gaza and Lebanon.

Huded and Snell were nervous about announcing the event due to potential pushback. Snell explained, “We were a little bit worried about whether we’d even be able to do it because, it’s really flabbergasting to me, but raising humanitarian aid for Palestine can be controversial. I personally think that’s pretty ridiculous because they’re human beings who need help.”

She continued, “Unfortunately, supporting Palestine has been misconstrued into, like, being antisemitic or being anti-hu-

man rights. But that’s really not the case.

Like, if you’re for human rights, you have to be for human rights for everyone, and that includes Israeli people. And we know that stopping this war is gonna mean peace for everybody and safety for everybody, so that’s why we’re raising the money.”

After the run, Huded expressed satisfaction with how it turned out. “I think it went really well,” she said. RunVassar reported 105 people participated, most of whom were students. Participants began in a large pack just outside the archway of Blodgett Hall and made their way across the finish line alone or in twos and threes. There were no announced winners; instead, after finishing the route, participants conversed in groups while eating granola bars and Dunkin’ Munchkins in Blodgett Hall’s courtyard.

Vassar students who participated in the 5K expressed that it felt like a win-win: a

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

chance to go on a run and a chance to give money to a cause they supported. Avery Owen-Lara ’28 commented, “The first thing I saw was 5K and, like, I’ve really been wanting to run, but now it is for a great cause. So, double success with that.”

Jude Landesman ’26 felt similarly: “I believe in a free Palestine,” he told The Miscellany News. “[I] also love running.” Niko Gerrard ’28 stated, “I’ve been to some other events where the entry fee is donating to families in Palestine and I really appreciate when places do that.”

Despite raising over $650, Huded and Snell made clear they felt this was a small contribution to a much larger issue. “So many people feel so powerless watching things happen,” Huded noted. “And, like, this was our small way that we could help.”

Snell added, “It’s obviously, it’s not gonna stop the war, but it’s at least gonna bring help to people who need it.”

Image courtesy of Leo Kogan ’28.

ARTS

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November 14, 2024

‘English Teacher:’ This year’s most underappreciated sitcom Madeleine Nicks Columnist

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have to admit that once the weather starts to get a little colder, I tend to retreat back into the shows that are familiar and comfortable for me. It is easy to slip back into the world of “Gilmore Girls” or “Parks and Recreation”–shows that have always been there for me. This option seems even more appealing because of the distinct lack of great new TV recently. Netflix turns out a tired original every couple of months, but the true Emmy contenders are in their off-season. That was, until “English Teacher” entered the conversation.

I have been a longtime fan and admirer of all of FX Network’s content. They are the driving force behind the shows that have elevated Hulu above many other streaming platforms. This partnership has gifted the world “The Bear,” “Fosse Verdon,” “Pose” and most of the “American Horror Stories” family. “English Teacher” is their newest endeavor, an eight-episode series centered around a high school in Austin, Texas. While it was received with critical acclaim and an impressive 98 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, it has flown under the radar for the most part.

I was shocked that I learned of it a month after its release, and I was even more so when I learned that so many people had begun watching because of Brian Jordan Alvarez’s TikTok marketing strategy (look it up, you’ll see what I mean).

The show is written and created by Alvarez, who also leads the cast as Evan Marquez, a determined, sarcastic and authentic English teacher. Alvarez is an actor and comedian who has had cameo roles and guest appearances in several beloved shows but gained more fame from his social media presence than anything else. “English Teacher” is his first significant credit, which only makes its nuance and hilarity that much more impressive.

The characters Alvarez has assembled

around him each satisfy a trope that a viewer would expect to see in a school-based sitcom, but they expertly avoid falling too far into stereotypes. Evan’s sidekick is Gwen Sanders, played by Stephanie Koeing.

While Evan leads with his heart and chaotically attempts to rectify situations he feels are wrong, Gwen leads with a biting sass and blind loyalty to Evan. Evan truly wants to make a difference in his students’ lives and gain a personal sense of purpose, while Gwen just wants her unemployed boyfriend to finish the pool he is hand-digging. She is the kind of teacher who is immune to embarrassment because of her confidence and self-determination. She is not afraid to get on the same level as her Gen Z students and will drag Evan right down with her. That being said, her ridiculousness is never phony or overdone, as she is consistently one of the most well-written characters, and Koeing delivers an expertly crafted performance.

Evan’s other counterpart is his ex-boyfriend Malcolm, an ex-teacher played by Jordan Firstman. Their relationship is convoluted but loving, and the way sexuality plays into the role of an educator is an unapologetically genuine part of Evan’s storyline and their overall development as a couple.

Evan and Gwen represent a liberal agenda when it comes to school-based conflicts, and they meet their match with the parents of the school and their more conservative-leaning bro-ish colleagues Markie, played by Sean Patton, and Rich, played by Carmen Christopher. The line in the sand between the teachers is eternally being drawn and scuffed out, but the rocky camaraderie between the group remains at the core of the school’s dynamic. Their principal, unlike many other school sitcoms, is not the enemy. Enrico Colantoni plays the exhausted and perpetually fed-up principal Grant Moretti, who could be written off as the middleman between the PTA and the faculty but instead delivers some of the most laugh-out-loud moments of the entire

show, grounding Evan’s righteous plans back into the red tape-riddled reality of education.

Aside from the truly stellar cast, what sets “English Teacher” apart is the writing.

The show does not have the star power or a pre-established fan base to fall back on, but the episode concepts and writing hold it up nonetheless. Each episode focuses on an issue relevant to today’s world without making the tone feel like a political diatribe. They grapple with dialogue around gun safety, drag performances, LGBTQ+ relationships and grade inflation all within the climate of the suburban South. Alvarez is commenting on the areas in which Millenials and Gen Z are digging in their heels or turning a blind eye and examining how these two generations interact, clash and come together. There is still lethargy amid these calls to action, but no student or teacher is written without purpose or as filler. Each episode is only 22 to 25 minutes

long and every second is attention-grabbing. The cast delivers one-liners subtly and quickly; there is no space given to needless explanation or lead-up. The show’s humor is in its speed and intelligence. The second you start watching, it feels as if you are playing catch-up, and maintaining your focus throughout each episode is imperative to be able to absorb the totality of its hilarity and brilliance.

“English Teacher” is an unbelievably refreshing portrayal of current events interwoven with personality. Through only its first short season, Alvarez is laying the impressive groundwork to create the world of Morrison-Hensley High School, fitted with its own language of disorder, banter and significance, while still building out a cast of individually spectacular, flawed, human characters. This show is created through the power of originality and creativity, and it is sure to have a long life of revitalizing and changing the discourse around sitcoms.

Image courtesy of Kacie Burns ’28.

Everybody wants more of ‘Nobody Wants This’ Alyvia Drapeau Guest Columnist

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risten Bell and Adam Brody take the spotlight in the latest hit romantic comedy series, “Nobody Wants This” as a couple whose newly-formed relationship is challenged by their very different careers and disapproving families. The 10-episode first season dropped on Netflix on Sept. 26, and it immediately became a viral, binge-worthy sensation. The chemistry between these beloved actors has captivated the attention and hearts of viewers.

Joanne (Bell) and Noah (Brody) are an unlikely match, as they have wildly different lifestyles. Joanne and her sister Morgan (Justine Lupe) have made a career as vulnerable podcasters, sharing their crazy relationship stories as they navigate the complicated world of dating. Their show is titled “Nobody Wants This,” giving listeners the hint that their dating tales are not ones to aspire to and take as advice. Meanwhile, Noah has a promising career as a rabbi, which holds him to extremely high standards as a leader for his temple. After ending a longterm relationship with a woman whose life was deeply intertwined with his family and friends, he meets Joanne at a dinner party hosted by a mutual friend. Sparks fly as the two instantly hit it off, with flirtatious banter that makes them both eager to see each other again. Joanne and Noah recon-

nect soon after their first meeting and go on a chaotic date, but the connection is as clear as ever despite the madness. Romance is budding and the date concludes with the perfect first kiss.

Although everything seems perfect when it is just the two of them alone, the relationship is challenged by the complicated family dynamics that both Noah and Joanne deal with. Joanne’s parents are divorced but on good terms, although her mother struggles with the fact that her father has come out as gay and moved on with a man. The two parents have chaotic personalities that create an awkward environment for Joanne and Morgan whenever the family reunites.

On the other hand, Noah has overbearing, traditional Jewish parents who are desperate for him to get back together with his ex.

Although they ultimately end up liking Joanne, they still do not approve of the relationship, as she is not Jewish and therefore does not fit the mold for a rabbi’s wife.

Noah is not the only one who faces disapproval from his family. Morgan complains that her sister’s new, healthy relationship is getting in the way of her career; the job completely revolves around sharing dating horror stories. Even though her sister has finally had some dating success, Morgan sees that it is distracting her from the podcast. Joanne has such strong relationships with both Noah and Morgan that it is hard for her to distinguish what should be her

priority.

While the romance between Joanne and Noah unfolds, a bond between their respective siblings, Morgan and Sasha (Timothy Simons), begins to form as well. Deeming themselves the “loser siblings,” they cooperate as awkward dual third wheels as their siblings begin to date. When things get messy as Sasha’s wife and her best friend (Noah’s ex-girlfriend) try to create rumors that Joanne is simply a rebound for Noah and that he intends to get back together with his ex, the two band together to ensure that the truth is communicated between the couple.

Despite the criticism and attempted sabotage coming from both of their families and friends, Joanne and Noah blissfully continue their relationship, quickly falling in love.

However, things get complicated for the pair as Noah is up for a promotion as head rabbi, a position that is typically expected to go to someone who has a Jewish wife. Joanne considers converting to Judaism, but she struggles with what her motivation for it is.

She admits that her connection with Noah is so important to her that she wants to do it for him, instead of because of her interest in the religion itself. At this moment, we start to see a risk of the relationship falling apart, despite the wishes of hopeful viewers and the couple themselves.

Joanne’s dating history is not the only thing that “nobody wants.” Her relationship

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

with Noah is constantly challenged by controlling family members, jealous exes and disapproving friends. Yet the undeniable connection between the podcaster and the rabbi has every viewer of the show hoping that the romance lasts. All the cards stacked against them make us want to see the unlikely couple persevere more than ever. The exciting meet-cute, monumental first kiss and thrilling early stages of the relationship have audiences tuned in to see how the plot unravels, clinging to the hope that their bond is unbreakable.

This rom-com series connects generations, appealing to young viewers with modern humor and to older ones with the popular co-stars. Recently, it has seemed that the romantic comedy genre is being revived, with hit movies like “Anyone But You” and “No Hard Feelings.” “Nobody Wants This” is yet another example of the appeal of the genre to today’s film and television consumers. In a world where dating is complicated by social media and situationships, the show gives us hope that romance still exists. The season finishes with more questions than answers, the main one being: Can Joanne and Noah make it work?

The big cliffhanger at the end of the final episode leaves viewers anxious for a second season to come out. Joanne and Noah have become the newest adored TV couple that everybody is rooting for and eager to see more of.

November 14, 2024

FEATURES

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New Sustainability Director discusses campus efforts Continued from Sustainability on page 1 climate action plan for the college. Foster pushed his efforts to “help the college move forward towards sustainability.”

Quoting Foster, “This is the way life is: you change.” Undeniably, he lived up to his own words. After shifting his work at Concordia towards a more environmental lens, Foster decided to dedicate his career to becoming a sustainability professional, aiming to develop strategies that mitigate the effects of environmental change and promote sustainable practices for future generations—a fitting ode to his winding journey across conservation, Chinese, political science and teaching.

This is where Vassar enters the picture.

Back in the northeast, Foster stepped into the role of Director of Sustainability at Vassar.

“It’s a perfect position for me,” Foster stated. “I get to do high-level strategic planning, get to work with students and do everything in between.” This multifaceted approach to sustainability ultimately reflects the intricate nature of Foster’s approach to action. And although the Office of Sustainability is small in number, Foster and the team help the college with multitudes to address ecological issues that affect the campus and the surrounding community.

Other than being struck by Vassar’s long-standing dedication to environmental studies and the landscape of the campus itself, “I’ve been impressed at Vassar with the genuine enthusiasm and support that people have shown me as I’ve come into this position,” Foster tells me. Everyone he meets, albeit a professor, staff member or student, has been eager to hear that the college has a director of sustainability. More-

over, Foster loves the Vassar culture: the fact that every individual here is unapologetically themselves, unique and driven.

This amalgamation of different strengths and passions has the power to accomplish goals and make noticeable change, which Foster states is helpful for sustainability considering it is all uncharted territory.

Currently, Kenneth Foster works on bringing back practices abandoned during the pandemic. This includes properly segregating waste, preventing compost contamination, establishing a flourishing free library at Blodgett and starting up a variety of events and programs. But part of Foster’s desire is to listen to others, to understand what sustainability at Vassar really means and to formulate new ideas based on this intercommunication.

When I asked Foster what possible future projects the Office of Sustainability will be working on, he commented: “Let those be set by our collaborative process,” a fitting response for an interdisciplinary domain like sustainability, especially at Vassar.

Though future plans are still in development, a question remains constant: What do we need to do? Above all, Foster aims to reduce greenhouse gas emissions on campus. The sustainability committee is working on hiring a firm to run deep-analysis research on decarbonization and provide well-developed projects that will help reduce emissions until the campus reaches carbon neutrality. Additionally, the Office of Sustainability aims to build on what has been growing—literally—for the past century: the Arboretum. With the 100th anniversary of the Arboretum coming up, Foster asks the question: What do we need to do now in order to improve the next 100

Image courtesy of Aurelia Harrison ’28. years? This excites the possibility of developing restorative land management guidelines that would help us better coexist with the environment.

Ultimately, Foster strongly believes in collaboration, especially when it comes to working in a college. “Everything we do with sustainability at a college should be aimed at serving the students and building in student experiences.” By working with

the students and listening to their ideas, students will be more motivated to engage in Vassar’s sustainability efforts. Foster wants to encourage this as much as possible and hopes to make more connections with students and the student organizations. Foster leaves me with an important message: “No matter what field or career you go into, you can make a difference in environmental efforts.”

Sophie Lewis discusses TERFs in Philosophy Lecture Aurelia Harrison Guest Columnist

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ophie Lewis is one of those unique thinkers whose work seems to unilaterally enrage people—at least at first. Lewis, who currently holds a position as a visiting scholar at the University of Pennsylvania, and teaches online at the Brooklyn Institute for Social Research, describes herself on her website as a “writer, speaker, teacher, and recovering academic.” At this year’s first Philosopher’s Holiday Lecture, Lewis visited Vassar on November 6th to give a talk entitled “TERF Island Comes to America: Buried Histories of the Feminism of Cisness,” a dissection of trans-exclusionary radical feminism (TERF) ideology and whether or not we should consider bigoted feminism feminism at all. This lecture comes as a preview for Lewis’s upcoming book, “Enemy Feminisms: TERFS, Policewomen, and Girlbosses Against Liberation.”

Lewis began her lecture with a history lesson on the modern political origins of TERFs and transphobia within feminism.

She painted a sobering picture, one of violent exclusion and vitriol present in second-wave feminism towards transgender women. But she pushed back on the idea that second-wave feminism was intrinsically transphobic, telling stories of the divisive presence of Beth Elliot, a trans woman, at a West Coast Lesbian Conference and the solidarity many of the women showed her.

As she continued forward into the 21st century, she highlighted how TERFdom manifests today. From JK Rowling’s tweets to the ecofascism of The Deep Green Resistance, TERF ideology has taken many forms as it

seeps into the mainstream. She discussed the widespread nature of TERF ideology in British feminism, and its less prominent but growing manifestations in the US as the GOP sinks deeper and deeper into anti-LGBTQ+ politics.

Lewis then turns to the question at the core of this discourse: Do we exclude these movements from the category of feminism? Or, if we agree that they are feminists, is it prudent to abandon the label “feminist” altogether in search of something better? Lewis’s answer to both of these questions is no. She admits she is partial to the label of “feminism,” and resists the idea that we abandon it, especially regarding the second-wave TERFs. She argues that we should not cede the second-wave of feminism to the racist, sexist, transphobic and bigoted women that in part constituted it—not when there was so much important feminism being done by women of color and trans women in particular alongside them. She asks us to recognize that there are many forms of feminism; fascist feminism, while fascist, is still discussing the emancipation of women to an extent. She suggests we recognize these “enemy feminisms” as feminist: “We do not need to say that all of this is ‘not feminism’ in order to fight it,” said Lewis.

The Vassar student body was fortunate enough to have more than one opportunity to engage with Lewis’s work during her visit. Lewis has published two books previously, “Full Surrogacy Now: Feminism Against the Family” and “Abolish the Family: A Manifesto for Care and Liberation.” At the core of much of Lewis’s work is the idea of family abolition. The Context for her work

is crucial: When she discusses abolition, she does not mean a complete annihilation of all the connections we hold dear. Rather, she conceives of it as being a three-step process: to destroy what holds us back, preserve what is good and useful and create a new system that could benefit us all. She advocates for a communized style of living, one where we are collectively caring for each other, regardless of what bloodline we are born into.

Visiting Assistant Professor of Philosophy Rachel Silverbloom’s class PHIL 106: “The Feminist Ethics of Vulnerability and Care” had the opportunity to be in direct dialogue with Lewis. After the class read her book “Abolish the Family” over October Break, Lewis visited classes for a group discussion. I am fortunate enough to be enrolled in this class and found the conversation to be a particularly enriching one.

Her style of answering questions is distinct: She takes a long pause and delivers an explanation with a level of detail and context that marks her as a true expert in her field.

Her prose is rich with humor, accessible without sacrificing complexity—Professor Silverbloom is a particular fan of her description of the family as a “disciplinary, scarcity-based trauma machine.”

Additionally, the Philosophy department selected an essay by Lewis in preparation for the talk— “Mothering against motherhood: doula work, xenohospitality and the idea of the momrade”—for their biweekly reading group run by Assistant Professor of Philosophy Kathryn Pendoley and the Philosophy department interns Caris Lee ’25 and Harry Malone ’25. The discussion was wide-ranging, but what stayed with me was the idea of

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utopia. What is the place of utopian thinking, of a fantasized “better world” in political activism? I posed this question to Lewis in our class discussion. She disagrees with the use of the word “utopia” as a pejorative: For her, imagining a world better equipped to care for all its inhabitants requires that we not form these ideas as though we are starting from scratch. “Utopia is not an immature rejection of what is: it’s also holding on to what has been taken from us,” said Lewis. She argues that things do not have to be this way: We do not have to abide by the scarcity-producing social constructs we build our lives around.

After Lewis’s talk, I was invited to a Philosophy department dinner at Spettro, where I had the opportunity to get to know Lewis a little better. The way Lewis reflects on her own work is fascinating: When questioned, she openly admits she may have phrased something too strongly, or too generally. She is unafraid to assert something weighty, and she is equally unafraid to admit her own errors. She possesses a wealth of knowledge that is apparent even in informal conversations, as we discussed everything from the French language to “The Silence of the Lambs.” Delivering such a radical and well-articulated talk the day after the election was a feat of strength on her part—I do not know that I could have stayed as strong as she did. Lewis’s ideas of recreating our world to be better equipped to care, of holding complexity within ourselves and of being unafraid to fight the good fight feel especially important right now. We can stand to learn a lot from thinkers like Lewis, about ourselves, our world and each other.

VETERANS’ VOICES

Page 6

Dawn in Okinawa

Welcome to Veterans’ Voices!

Seth Jenkins

Each year, during the week of Veterans’ Day, The Miscellany News features pieces written by Vassar veterans. This tradition was started six years ago by veteran and former Humor Editor Francisco Andrade ’22.

Red Loud and bold Chaste and repelling You know it Dawn in Okinawa Air is still Truth reveals High and awakening Bright and comforting Unpleasant and heavy What kind of a day Dawn in Okinawa Near and together

Veteran students have long found a place on Vassar’s campus ever since 1946, when Vassar acquired a special charter to admit World War II veterans eligible for the then-new GI Bill. In 2012, Vassar became the first college partner with the Posse Veterans Foundation; since then, anywhere from six to 10 veterans matriculate with each incoming class.

We would like to extend thanks to Javier Kazmierczak ’25 for his help coordinating this Issue’s Veterans’ Voices.

D

amn, it has been 3 years already.

Time is flying by and I gotta say, Vassar, you have grown on me.

“You wanna go to school after you get out?”

“Maybe?”

That was my attitude in 2022 when I was being talked to by my Vet friends who had already attended or were in the process of it, and I just did not know how to respond.

Much like high school, leaving the military felt like I was once again leaving a familiar place with no direction or real control over what I did in the future. It was a little scary, but like I said, it grew on me. Do not get me wrong, speaking to people and community engagement is not hard. Hell, I call it my bread and butter. But actually caring about the events I am part of, the communities I have engaged with, the people that I have laughed with—it is different. It is new.

I will be the first to tell you that I do not like people. It is a fact and one that I have no guilt in admitting. But something about the students and Vets that I have gotten to know in this school has my heart in a vice every time I attend a new event.

I JUST HAVE SO MUCH FUN! Rugby has the toughest people on campus for sure. Monsters, Mongrels and Mutts are ready to throw down at a moment’s notice.

They are big and tough, but so much deeper, too. They have futures, aspirations and confidence that could only be built on a family of blood, sweat and tears. I have spoken to so many of them and they never cease to amaze me in their efforts to progress in Rugby as well as their own lives. Academic and Athletic pistons run a helluva engine for the drives they place on the field. Every game, playing or not, is the best! Screaming until there is no more air in my lungs, watching my teams scream when they score a try, hyping up the people in the stands; AHHHHHHHHHHHHH it is so much fun it gets my blood boiling just thinking about it!

While Rugby boils my blood, Boxing puts ice in my veins, in a good way. OH MAN, hearing those gloves hit the bag when I am walking in is INCREDIBLE. Seeing anyone on the Crew learn something new, or hearing that breath between strikes just makes me want to RIP THE BAG APART EVERY TIME! You have not LIVED until you have seen someone who could not throw a hook two weeks before, throwing them at a training pad like they have been doing it their whole lives. It is cold as hell when that *SMACK* rings through the room for everyone to smile and look back, egging on whoever is killing the buzzer at that time.

These people ARE the HYPE. UGHHHHH I might get my gloves on after this for a nice

Welcome Pulling you close Pushing you from dreams Dawn in Okinawa Chaos Can’t taste it in the air Numbness in your bones Dawn in Okinawa Time to rise forever Time to hold on Time to stay Time against Dawn in Okinawa

Emelyanov

Growing love Caleb “D” DiBartolo

November 14, 2024

shadow session outside, just to get out the excitement.

There is so much to do and there will never be enough time to do it all, but with everyone that I have met so far, I do not mind fantasizing about it.

I do not like people, but I like mine.

Vassar, you have given me direction. I was nervous and lost, but now the anxiety has lessened drastically. My hesitation to do anything is damn near gone. I have communities and friends that I see EVERY WEEK! That is so crazy to be able to say. This is not the “me” in my early 20s looking forward to the next time I went to a bar and drowned with the usual suspects. This is the “me” in my late 20s excited on Tuesday for Rugby Practice with the team, excited on Wednesday to read Russian poetry with fellow double majors and excited on Thursday to box with the crew and teach some newbies how to make the pads sing.

It is a growing love.

College, I mean.

It sneaks up on you.

It is not so bad, I guess. The curriculum is kind of hard sometimes and the material is hard to grasp all the time, but it is ok. I have my people. I might not like them, but I will love them until the day I graduate. Then I am dropping ‘em off at the curb. HAHA, could you imagine? Intentionally losing the most healthy and engaging communities I have ever had the opportunity to be part of?

AND THE FRIENDS I MADE TOO? That is genuinely insane. Besides, I doubt they would let me. They are kinda scary.

In the end, the point I want to get across is this: talk. Strike a conversation. Tell someone you like their style. Ask about your own interests and find some common ground.

Worst case, come to me. I always have time for one more “hello.”

School is school and eventually school ends, but the relationships you build are valuable. I do not mean “networking,” I mean that you have no idea how helpful it is to have a community that genuinely wants the best for you. It changes things, and it could change you if you let it.

My name is Caleb Micah DiBartolo. I am a Philosophy and Russian Studies Double Major. My Rugby team had a perfect season this year for the first time in almost 20 years, Vassar Boxing Club became an official Vassar club three weeks ago, after being in the works for years, I finished a Russian Study Abroad Program this past summer with some of the brightest students I could have ever met and I am my favorite Philosopher right behind Nietzsche and Plato.

Love when you can, but always be ready for a hook.

Thanks, everyone. Really. You have made me better.

I

still remember the look on his face. He had pain and anger in his eyes…so much anger.

It was to be expected, though. After all, I was taking his shared dream away and now I was telling him, “You can’t be here. Your dream is done. Go home.” I grabbed him from behind, pulled him from under the boat and threw him behind me. He tried to fight back, so I turned around to look at him; I shoved him while he grabbed my arms. He pushed at my face, and I think I went to punch him when he said, “No! FUCK YOU! Stop.”

I do not remember if I punched him; I may have punched him in the face. I just do not remember. I only remember how hard he fought. It was like he was a dying animal fighting for its last breath. I took it from him.

I remember the instructors howling like wolves and cheering us on. They loved every minute of it. Two men were fighting to see who could stay and who could not.

“Who will go to war and who will watch the gate?” “Who will become a part of history and who will be forgotten by it?” All the while, I felt nothing. When I took his last breath, and when I took his dream, I felt nothing; no sadness, no remorse, nothing. I turned around when the instructors pulled him aside and I got ready to eat. I was hungry and it was dinner time, or it may have been breakfast; we had been up for days so I do not know when exactly, but I think it was dusk.

The weird thing about feeling nothing is that he was my best friend. The only friend I had in my crew who had hung around until Thursday night. This might have been why I did not get rid of him sooner. I thought things would work out as long as he did not quit. To be fair, anyone could have done it, but maybe the Universe finds things to be more poetic if the pain comes from someone close. “If the instructors do not get rid of him, why should I? He must not be that bad.” This was the mentality I had at the time. I knew he was not cut out for the job and was not cutting it, plain and simple. He was a nice guy; maybe that is why he could not do it. He had a kind soul, and mentally, he was a fortress. We were friends, and I was his only friend. I am not being dramatic. I was his ONLY friend. He was bullied and harassed more than anyone I had ever seen. He dealt with more bullshit than I can put into words. His “teammates” were the worst to him, and he never once complained about any of them. I asked why he did not fight back, and he said, “Fuck ‘em. I’m not here for them.” He never brought it up, he just kept moving forward.

We were bunkmates. One morning we woke up and the name tape on his locker was replaced with the word “TURD.” These people despised him. I did not get it. I actu-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ally liked him as a person and did not understand why he was hated. I never have had an issue with telling someone I do not like them if I do not. I did not understand why people hated him; it still does not make sense. Sure, he was not the best student, but I believe anyone can improve so I did not hold that against him. I took some slack for being his “swim buddy,” but it was worth it.

“Nobody gets left behind.” As ironic as that may be, I believed it then and still believe it now. When I make friends, I look out for them and get attached.

I tried my best to make him better, to keep him squared away, but it was always something with him. He always found a way to fuck something up. It was so weird. Maybe the stress was getting to him and I did not see it. That being said, I remember people trying to sabotage him, too. That pissed me off. “Have the balls to get rid of him yourself.

Fight him if you want, but don’t be a bitch about it.” I said this when someone had hidden something of his before an inspection.

It infuriated me and still does.

It was Thursday of Hell Week when I turned on him. By this point, he was my best friend, and I had been telling him to stop holding back. We needed to win, and we needed to work harder. I hate losing, and I hate weakness or laziness more than anything. He would not listen, or maybe he could not. The instructors could not get him to quit and I had told him not to listen to them. They were harassing our boat crew like a nest of hornets. It was insane. “Just quit, you piece of shit” was probably the nicest thing he had heard all week. “Only we make us quit,” I said. I did not understand what that actually meant. After I threw him out from under the boat and then I had gotten back under it, I heard the instructors surrounding him like wasps. “Even he doesn’t want you here. It’s time to go. Your teammate is telling you that you cannot cut it. You will get him killed.”

I am not sure what made him quit then.

Whether it was that I had been the one to get rid of him, or that he realized his inability to learn and adapt would get me killed, or if he had finally had enough of being hated. I do not know for sure, but I think he realized his friends might die because of him. Like I said, he was a kind soul. He would not have thrown me out if I were in his shoes.

I saw him after we secured Hell Week.

I told him it was not personal and that he should come back better prepared to succeed. I said, “You would have made it through Hell Week. You wouldn’t have quit.” His response was powerful and sad.

“I didn’t come here to make it through Hell Week. I came here to be a SEAL.” This was the last time we spoke, and I never saw him again. That was 12 years ago.

VETERANS’ VOICES

November 14, 2024

Endlessly asleep [Name redacted], sharp and spry, Lost her dad, no goodbye.

One day present, full of jest, Next day gone—life’s cruelest test.

At eighteen, with a smirk so grim, She joined the Navy on a whim.

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Stages Javier Kazmierczak

A

Special Forces selection instructor evaluating the 12 of us candidates and taking notes declared, “You have five minutes to come up with a plan for the apparatus, or I’ll show you the most inefficient method of constructing it.” He referred to the challenge of turning a 20-foot wooden telephone pole, a collection of iron pipes, two worn and partially inflated jeep wheels and a few lashings into a rolling seesaw that we had to push through sandy roads in the North Carolina hills. After failing to meet the deadline, we were forced to construct the device using his cruel design. My team spent the next eight grueling hours dragging the two-thousandpound contraption while advancing one step at a time. This was the first time I had experienced breaking down a task into such tiny increments, but it provided a blueprint for

future success.

The Special Forces selection process tested the power of determination and the resilience of the human spirit. At times, I felt like giving up, but I found solace in reciting the lines from the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley. The words of the poem reminded me that I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul and that I have the power within me to overcome any challenge that I may face. This resolute conviction has given me the confidence to pursue challenges and goals beyond what I thought possible.

During special forces training on a scorching day in North Carolina, I talked with one of my teammates, a conversation that has stuck with me ever since. As we were taking a break, my teammate showed me his sleeve tattoo depicting Shakespeare’s “Seven Ages of Man.” The intricate artwork showcased the different stages of life, from infancy to old

age, and a corresponding quote from the famous monologue accompanied each image.

I was struck by the thought and meaning behind the tattoo, and it got me thinking about the importance of education and personal growth. This conversation reminded me that we all have the power to shape our lives, and it is up to us to make the most of our time before becoming children again.

Every day, as I passed walls adorned with images of my fallen comrades, I felt a surge of pride and determination to reach my full potential and positively impact my community. As I plan, I am eager to tackle new challenges that will help me grow and better myself and, in turn, have a lasting impact on my community. I believe that my time at Vassar will be as meaningful and transformative as my experiences as a soldier, and I am eager to graduate and begin a new stage of my life.

Cryptologist, cracking codes, Hoping to lighten her heavy loads.

“Dad, you there?” she’d whisper tight, But death’s got a line that’s out of sight.

Turns out heaven’s a one-way street, No callbacks, no repeat.

She got out with medals, pride intact,

Image courtesy of Javier Kazmierczak ’25.

Headed to Vassar, life on track.

Graduating old but still on top,

Endlessly awake

Dragging the silence, never to drop.

P “Hey Dad, I’m almost done,” She’d mutter, squinting at the sun.

But the afterlife? Still out on break, And heaven’s HR? Not known for give-and-take.

Somewhere out there, with a ghostly cheer, He’d chuckle, “You made it, my dear.

Congrats on the gown, and the cap, to show

Wish I could come, but I’m laying low.”

icture this: A young woman fresh out of high school, with dreams as vast as the Pacific Ocean, finds herself in one of the most enchanting places on Earth—Florida. Wait—no. That was just a quick pit stop for “A School” before heading to the real paradise—Hawaii. But do not be fooled by the tropical breezes and sun-kissed beaches, for my mission was not lounging under palm trees but swan diving into an empty pool—the NIOC Hawaii Watchfloor.

After finishing A School, I packed my life into a seabag and jetted off to the Aloha State. My journey as a cryptologist was about to begin, and I was both thrilled and terrified. The first lesson I learned?

Sunscreen is your best friend. Seriously, the Hawaiian sun is not to be trifled with, much like the cryptographic codes that awaited me.

My daily grind was a mix of routine and surprises, sort of like a Hawaiian pupu platter where you never quite know what combination of tasks will be served up.

We decrypted codes, analyzed signals, and tracked patterns—think of it as a highstakes Sudoku game, but with global security implications. And there, amidst the beeps and boops of computers, I found my rhythm.

Being a female in a predominantly male field was its own kind of adventure. I quickly learned to find humor in the little things.

Like the time my male colleague insisted on calling every piece of equipment “she”; “She’s acting up today” or “She’s running

horribly.”...She is always the problem, huh? I guess that explains why you are 21 and on wife number three…I digress.

The beauty of Hawaii is unparalleled. On my off days, I would trade my headset for hiking shoes and lose myself in the trails of Oahu. There is something oddly cryptologic about nature- the way waves decode the shore or the subtle code-switching of the native birdsongs. It was a reminder that not all mysteries belong to machines and man-made ciphers.

But the island life was not without its hiccups. There was this one time I got caught in a torrential rainstorm on the North Shore. Within minutes, I was drenched and rocking the drowned-rat look, but I could not stop laughing. There is a certain freedom in not caring how ridiculous you look when you are having fun. I should also mention the Hawaiian traffic, which was its own puzzle. Google Maps seemed just as confused as I was. I frequently took scenic detours, also known as getting completely lost. By the end of each drive, I swear I was on a first-name basis with a few wild chickens and overly friendly geckos.

Finding my way through the rain-soaked maze of Hawaii’s roads was not the only adventure on the island. There was an entire spectrum of experiences that challenged me, inspired me, and, at times, left me questioning my choices. Many of which I will never share.

The cryptologic world had its quirks, too.

It is as if the codes themselves had a sense

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

of humor…cruel humor. On more than one occasion, after hours of intense focus, I would realize a simple error in pass-down work had tripped me up, like trying to unlock a door with the key upside down while those around you insist, “No no, do not try the other way—Chief said that is the right way and if you try hard enough, it will unlock it.” Brute force, if you will.

Despite everything, my journey in the Navy was nothing short of transformational. I learned to solve problems I never imagined I could, saw sunsets that seemed too perfect to be real and made friends who turned into family. As my tour came to a close in 2020, it was hard to say goodbye to the breathtaking place that had become my home away from home. Leaving was like turning the last page of a cherished novel—not wanting it to end, yet excited for the next story to begin.

So here I am, in my final year of college, looking back at my Navy experience with a sense of nostalgia and a touch of disbelief at how far I have come. I am thankful to the Navy for shaping me, challenging me, teaching me more profanities than Urban Dictionary could ever hope to and preparing me for whatever comes next. Thank you, Navy, for the discipline and direction.

Thank you, Vassar, for cultivating my academic curiosity and creativity. Here’s to the future—wherever it may lead—and to embracing each moment with the wisdom gained from these experiences. Fair Winds and Following Seas.

HUMOR

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November 14, 2024

Breaking News From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast

Hey man, bowling th is throwing 2nite. gonna b sick!! pull up or b square LOL Are

we Evan Seker

The Current American Philosopher

S

ocrates, the Ancient Greek philosopher, was a thinker in the true sense of the word: He thought a lot, yelled at people until they thought sort of like he did and then got himself killed when people got sick of his shtick. People like Donald Trump, however (according to my favorite source on these types of matters, Vassar’s one and only Fizz), are real actors: Having no troublesome thoughts to impede their mission, they relentlessly implement any idea that crosses their path, or at the very least, try to. Donald Trump’s last term had a lot of trying, but not very much succeeding: Here’s to hoping that occurs again.

My thoughts on the election can be summed up rather succinctly: What the flip? Unlike many, however, I did not do a flip, nor a somersault nor any complicated gymnastic maneuvers. Not only do I lack the flexibility, but my reaction to the news wasn’t as dramatic as one might expect.

On the morning of Nov. 6, 2024, I was thinking about two things: One was how I was going to balance my rigorous academic schedule with the incredible amount of extracurriculars I had decided to pile my-

for

real?

self with at 12:15 a.m. that morning. I was tired, shunning the consequences of my own actions. Then, I remembered the second thing: the election. I said, “God, I hope Trump doesn’t win,” and God said, “Shut up, check your phone.” Very rude, if I may add.

Then he hung up, reminding me why I became an atheist in the first place. Once I finished communing with the divine presence, I decided to check my phone, leading me to my next question: How could this have happened? I mean, there were many possible routes to this occurrence with which I was very familiar, but I was thinking this in the rhetorical, abjectly disgusted sense.

Do you think Donald Trump believes in God? More pressingly, does God believe in Donald Trump? I feel like he’d be hard not to believe in. He’s right there, in your news all the time. Maybe God only watches National Geographic, or, more likely, “The Prince of Egypt” on repeat. Alternatively, being God, he may have direct access to the thoughts of all people on Earth; can you really believe in something you know exists?

Probably not. What I can believe in, however, is the lack of education that got us to this point, which, despite its probable existence, isn’t quite confirmed; just like God, perhaps a solid 60 percent of American vot-

No,

ers really are jerks. And the eventual gutting of the Department of Education that might put about 150,000 staff out of jobs (hey, Vassar, got any open positions? This is your time to shine, baby) won’t make this situation any better—in fact, it can only get worse from here. The plan to Americanize history is reminiscent of several popular books of fiction involving pyramids, piles of books and helping people defeat themselves once and for all.

I mean, if I’m being real about this, what caused any of this? I don’t mean this election, and I don’t mean the last election, either (although that one went somewhat well). I mean, what gave the human species its dependency on the short-term and inability to remember the past?

Could it be the “darn phones”?

Could it be the ever-shortening sound bites of the media?

Could it be declining literacy and mathematical ability rates, as a result of the above and the COVID-19 pandemic? A lot of people overestimate how willing others are to put in the hard work to be “on track” when they’re knocked off.

I think it’s simply a decreased presence in the world. Maybe we’re all here, but not all of us are here. Most of us probably live in

seriously? fantasy worlds, some sort of twisted “Beren and Luthien,” where we live demented terrible lives in the hopes that one day, we too will stumble into Doriath, the Queen will take pity on us and the King will give us an impossible task that we will manage to fulfill anyways—nevermind how that’s not how the world works and that believing in stories just gets most of us killed. A lot of people are dumb and stubborn enough to believe in their own superiority anyways, that the things they call for just won’t happen for the people they care about, including themselves. And that’s a terrifying prospect to me.

I mean, it’s also not, because it’s reality, and being terrified of reality is kind of stupid.

But it’s quite unfortunate, really. My ideal future has most likely been incinerated.

P.S. My goat went missing! Please send any help you can. I don’t think he can make it far in this world without my help. He bleats too much—even in a trenchcoat, people will recognize him.

I bring this up for a very important reason: Did you know mountain goats can walk on really steep, almost insurmountable surfaces? I lost my goat, guys. I don’t think I’ll be able to scale this cliff.

Please, send aid. Send hope. In lieu of flowers, send more life.

In these Trying Times, remember: We are fucked Wren Buehler

Nothing To Be Done

W

e’ve all received some harrowing news these past few days. This is a difficult period. We’re all in a state of panic, except for those of us who voted for this, who are presumably having a party somewhere.

Many of us may feel compelled to look to the future with resolve, determined to never let something like this happen again. But don’t let current issues cloud your judgment. In these trying times, just remember that we are all fucked.

It’s understandable that you may want to find ways you can make change on a local level through methods like demonstrations and marches, or at least calling your representative. But despite it all, I urge you to remain calm and remember that the best thing you can do right now is cry. Just cry, for hours on end.

Alternatively, you may want to reach out to your community and support the most vulnerable among us. We get it. We’ve all been there. But when it seems like the world is hopeless, and all you can do is foment political action and participate in mutual aid, you have to pull yourself out of the pits of despair. And into bed, where you should spend the next four years slowly decomposing.

You may find yourself thinking that recent political developments are a result of a complex web of factors, that the most productive thing to do right now is to focus on the future of the movement rather than finding someone to blame. But once you’ve taken a moment to clear your head and

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. step back, I’m sure you’ll realize that, with enough finger-pointing, we can single out the group of progressives responsible for this and pillory them as badly, if not worse,

than the conservatives actively threatening our rights.

Yes, these are trying times indeed. But if each and every one of us remembers that

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

we are totally alone, incapable of changing things, and completely doomed forever, we can make it through the next four years intact.

November 14, 2024

HUMOR

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Noyes Circle to be replaced with swimming pool Josie Wenner Cool in the Pool

V

assar College has announced plans to replace Noyes Circle with a big swimming pool. Noyes Circle, otherwise known as the Nircle, is a beloved locale of both Noyes residents and frisbee players. However, Vassar is planning on digging up all the grass and dirt and putting in a giant swimming pool.

“We’ve got so much grass,” said President Bradley when asked to comment. “Like, SOOOO much. Have you ever looked around this place? Grass as far as the eye can see.

However, I think we only have one swimming pool, and it’s so far away. I’ve never even been.

I keep meaning to get over there, but it’s just such a far walk. You’ll note how I said I think we have one swimming pool. We could have 50 for all I know. But no one’s ever going to use them because they’re so far away. Anyway, a centralized swimming pool is what this school needs. It’ll boost morale.”

The proposed pool will be at its deepest at 15 feet. There will be a deep end and a shallow end, with a gradual slope toward the deep end.

There will be two docks in the middle of the pool for students to swim to and jump off of.

Students must pass a swim test to be allowed in the deep end, and swim classes will now be offered for half a unit. There will be a designated boat lane for students to canoe across, as many people have expressed disappointment that they won’t be able to take shortcuts across the Nircle anymore. Pool noodles and inner tubes will be available to check out with your 999 number.

While a pool may sound fun, some students are concerned. “It’s not that I don’t like swimming,” said Olivia Blank ’27. “I mean, they called me Fish Blank in high school. But I LOVE the Nircle, and I’d be sad to see it go.”

Blank, a Noyes resident, is also worried about the increased foot traffic (or flipper traffic) that the pool will bring to her dorm.

“I’m on board if it has water slides,” said Zach Flisakowski ’27. “If it doesn’t have water slides, I’m going to get real weepy.” Don’t worry—we’ve been assured there will be water slides, and they’ll be great. We’ve heard talks of loop-de-loops, jumps and a slide where you go through the giant gaping maw of Matthew Vassar on your way into the water.

Some students have been worried about the new pool being monopolized by athletes, but their anxieties have been soothed. “It’s not for the swim team,” a representative for the college said. “They’re actually not going to be

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. allowed to swim in it. They have so much. Do they need anything else? The whole ocean and all the lakes and rivers of the world are theirs. Just let us have this one thing. Just this.

Please.”

All in all, it seems like the new pool may be

a positive thing. “This is something good for the school,” said Dean of Student Living and Wellness Luis Inoa. “It’ll provide a beautiful view for Noyes residents, offer a sight of a large body of water that’s not covered with algae and will create jobs for both students and

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

members of the Poughkeepsie community.

We’re going to need a lot of lifeguards.”

Many students will surely miss the Nircle but they will have to learn to frolic elsewhere.

Our future has been read, and the cards say pircle.

HUMOR

Page 10

November 14, 2024

Conscientious students adopt smoke-on-sight policy Oliver Stewart Asthmatic

S

ince July 2015, Vassar College has officially been a smoke-free campus, meaning that “consumption, inhaling, exhaling, or burning any type of matter or substance that contains tobacco or plant product intended for inhalation” is prohibited on the grounds of the College. Like any prohibition not backed by a dedicated enforcement infrastructure, the policy largely relies on an honor system; as the original announcement from 2015 states, “the success of this policy depends upon the thoughtfulness, respect, and cooperation of everyone,” and “all faculty members, staff members, and students share the responsibility of following and enforcing the policy.”

Some students, however, have taken their commitment to the smoke-free policy even further. The Miscellany News has learned of a secretive group, known only as Cigarette Inhalers for the Good of Society (CIGS), who have adopted what they call a smoke-on-sight policy. Concerned about the presence of tobacco and marijuana products on campus, these diligent students have dedicated themselves to rooting out any such products they can and immediately smoking them to make sure no other students are harmed.

Numerous college administrators have lauded these students for their efforts at ridding the campus of tobacco and marijuana, as have local health officials. In a recently released statement, the Dutchess County Board of Health thanked the group profusely for their work.

“We are immensely grateful for the work that CIGS does to eliminate harmful substances from the Poughkeepsie area,” the Board wrote. “These products could be really dangerous if they were to fall into the wrong

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. hands, and all of us sleep easier at night knowing that these dedicated students will not stop until they have found and smoked all the cigarettes, vapes, joints, bongs, spliffs, gronks, jumjums, squeepies, prangles and e-cigarettes in Dutchess County.”

Students, too, are thankful for the hard work that their community-minded peers do each and every day. Several shared anecdotes with The Miscellany News of CIGS going above and beyond to protect their community from the harmful effects of smoking products.

“I saw one of them with a vape pen, and he kept taking puffs until the cartridge was exhausted to make sure that nobody else could use it,” one student said. “That’s real dedication.”

“Once, this girl on my hall freshman year had marijuana in her room, and CIGS was kind enough to come and smoke it to protect her from the harms associated with drug usage,” another told The Miscellany News.

“Thank goodness. Who knows what might have happened otherwise?”

Despite all this, members of CIGS still feel

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

that their work is not yet done. Next, they plan to conscientiously visit local smoke shops undercover to purchase and consume all their inventory and ensure that the rest of the community is protected.

These good Samaritans ask for no payment and no thanks; the knowledge that they are doing good for their community is reward enough for them. Still, the next time you see a group of students working tirelessly to free the campus of tobacco and marijuana, tip your cap, and remember: They’re doing it for you.

HOROSCOPES

HUMOR

November 14, 2024

Page 11

Emma daRosa

Lowercase is Intentional

Did you ever do a Jump Rope for Heart competition as a kid? The stars think that ARIES would be good for you this week. Just find March 21 | a friend and have them count how many April 19 jumps you can do. Maybe also donate money to heart stuff and learn how to Double Dutch. You would really like it, just, you know, watch your ankles.

You should be wary of bridges this week.

Don’t worry, you’re not going to fall off TAURUS April 20 | one or anything. Just something hinky could be going on. Maybe you’ll run into a May 20 professor in tight athletic gear on a bridge.

It would be really awkward and you wouldn’t know if you should say hi or not.

Nobody wants that.

Opening a pomegranate would be the best way for you to relax this week.

They’re in season, so just locate one and GEMINI buckle in. Gently caress the seeds away May 21 | from the skin; let the seeds plop all over June 20 the place. You’re gonna stain your clothes, so you might as well do it naked. Yeah, seed a pomegranate naked this week, it couldn’t hurt.

CANCER

June 21 | July 22

LEO

July 23 | Aug. 22

VIRGO

Aug. 23 | Sept. 22

Do you ever just talk so much that even you wonder when you’re going to stop talking? Probably everyone else thinks that about you too. Everyone actually probably hates you and wants you to shut up.

Or maybe you just need to eat a sandwich.

Not ham though, turkey. Ham would be really awful for you right now.

Feeling like the grass is always greener on the other side? Well, what they won’t tell you is that that grass is actually spray painted, like in that episode of “Glee” with Finn and the grass spray painting guy. I guess sometimes the other side is just a facade. Maybe you should get your own sexy grass spray painting guy and stop worrying about everyone else.

Getting in arguments with strangers on Threads might feel really good in the moment, but maybe that’s not a good form of self-care. Because then you would be spending time on Threads. Maybe you should try writing letters to people you hate and burning them. It would be good to practice your handwriting and to avoid being on Threads.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

LIBRA

Sept. 23 | Oct. 22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 | Nov. 21

Setting boundaries is critical in maintaining your close relationships. You need to stop letting people take gum from you every time you pull a piece out. It’s not fair that nobody seems to want gum, until you want gum and then they steal YOUR gum.

Next time somebody asks, the best course of action would be loud barking until they get the hint. You deserve all your gum.

Getting all your homework done feels SO good, but you know what feels even better? Playing “The Sims 4” for two hours in the library. You should definitely play “The Sims 4” for two hours in the library this week. Everyone will think that you’re working, but you’re actually just playing “The Sims 4” for two hours in the library.

Sagittarius season is nearly here. You should make a really big deal out of your birthday this year. This week is the time to start planting seeds. Also, no matter SAGITTARIUS what people do to celebrate you, you can Nov. 22 | pout about it a little bit. You deserve to Dec. 21 be a drama queen. Also, ask someone to make you an ice cream cake, that would be yum.

The weather plays such fun games this time of year. Maybe it’s fall, maybe it’s not—who knows?! You should play some fun games of your own. Gaslight all your CAPRICORN friends into believing that you’re related Dec. 22 | to Jennifer Aniston, tell the local priest Jan. 19 that the Virgin Mary came to you in an apparition, whatever!

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20 | Feb. 18

PISCES

Feb. 19 | March 20

Struggling to keep your room clean?

We’ve all been there. One good option is just putting all the crap on the floor into the Jewett elevator and running away.

Surely, someone on all those nine floors will want the things you can’t be bothered to put away. Just make sure nobody sees you. It’ll feel so good.

Sometimes, we accidentally hurt people close to us. The important thing is that we apologize and make amends.

You should make an effort to apologize to someone this week in a way that they’ll never forget. Consider flashing an apology in Morse code through their window or singing them a song at five in the morning like the a cappella groups do for their Valentine grams.

OPINIONS

Page 12

November 14, 2024

Media narratives have blindsided and exhausted us Ian Watanabe Guest Columnist

I

t is a bad time to be a Democrat. Donald Trump won both the Electoral College and the popular vote in a crushing victory many were not expecting. On social media and among the people I have talked to, there is a palpable sense not just of defeat, but of grief and exhaustion. This article is not an autopsy of the Harris-Walz campaign.

I want to instead examine the unintended consequences that the media coverage of this election have wrought on Democrat voters.

To start, I will have to go back to the summer, days after the infamous Biden-Trump debate. President Joe Biden’s verbal gaffes were on full display, and Democrats had lost hope that the current ticket could win. The weeks leading up to Biden’s dropout were much of the same, with the incumbent’s low polling numbers and Trump’s famous assassination survival making it seem like a Republican victory was inevitable.

And then, hope emerged. Biden dropped out of the race and Vice President Kamala Harris ascended into the public eye. Not only was she 20 years younger, but she had messaging that made Democrats feel confident. Her campaign tried to appeal strongly to the middle class and to Republicans dissatisfied with Trump. The goal to grow her base in such a short amount of time made the Harris campaign feel dynamic. Meanwhile, Trump’s own blunders were covered extensively, particularly in the debate

where he claimed that Haitian immigrants were eating people’s dogs and that babies were being executed post-birth. Simply put, Democrats went from feeling defeated to feeling like they had a chance. The polls promised a tight, 50/50 race, while the media and Harris campaign released messaging that made Democrats feel confident.

However, Harris’ popularity did not translate into success. On election night, Trump won the popular vote and made gains with every demographic, proving that the party failed to bring in swing voters. The Harris campaign was popular with existing Democrats because those voters thought that they were gaining with swing voters.

There are many conflicting opinions about what Harris should have done differently, but the point is, the perceived popularity of the Harris campaign made Democrats ill-prepared for defeat. Democrats did not examine how Trump’s rhetoric was quickly growing his voter base. Polarization and dissatisfaction made many people willing to overlook—or even be attracted to—Trump’s criminality, outrageousness and bigotry.

This rude awakening has come all at once, and hit Democrat voters hard.

Let me be clear, a Trump victory in any scenario would be a blow to morale, particularly for women, racial minorities and others who have their civil liberties threatened by policy agendas. Even without the letdown that was set up by Harris’ optimism, this event would still be distressing for many. What is unique about this scenario is just how blindsided many of us were.

On Nov. 6, The New York Times Opinion section published titles like: “Stop Pretending that Trump is Not Who We Are” and “It’s Time to Admit that America Has Changed.”

They interpret Donald Trump’s popular victory as proof that America has authoritarian strains which have gone largely unnoticed by liberal media spaces until now.

I would argue that the Harris campaign

There are many conflicting opinions about what Harris should have done differently, but the point is, the perceived popularity of the Harris campaign made Democrats ill-prepared for defeat. Democrats did not examine how Trump’s rhetoric was quickly growing his voter base. itself tried to avert its voters’ eyes from how normalized Trump had become. For instance, the “Republicans are Weird” message gained traction because it told Democrats that they were the ones acting logically while the Republicans embraced strange demagoguery over pragmatism. Subsequently, Democrats were able to take the

moral and intellectual high ground, while remaining blind to how many people were actually drawn by that demagoguery. We hear about polarization’s effect on MAGA Republicans and how information bubbles keep them hostile to outside media sources and susceptible to conspiratorial thinking.

But polarization is a two-way street. This election may prove to be an instance where information bubbles kept Democrats from seeing the scale of movement that was building on the other side of the fence.

Trump’s victory has challenged many of my peers’ faith and understanding of this country. The media has encouraged hopelessness, then hope, and then out of that hope, shock. I fear that this constant swinging of the pendulum propagates exhaustion and a disillusionment from politics, at a time when we will need action and vigilance. Moving forward, we should not be so beholden to the media messages that surround us. We should look beyond their convenient narratives, and come to our own conclusions about what’s happening around us. Independent research and thinking will lead us to become more informed, and through that act, maybe we will stop feeling so helpless. The reason we may feel this exhaustion is because the media cycle tells us when to feel joy and when to feel despair. I cannot definitively say what will happen in the future, or what should be done. But I will say that if we do not change how we interact with media narratives, we will not only have an incomplete picture but also lose our sense of control.

Political echo chambers are dangerous to democracy Catherine McCarthy Guest Columnist

I

n the first few hours after the 2024 presidential election was called in favor of Donald Trump, millions of devastated Americans were asking themselves and each other the same question: How did this happen? Although the literal answer is there in the votes, that is not what we are actually asking. Approaching the election, so many were filled with hope that even a slim majority of the American people had been put off enough by Trump’s bigotry, criminal charges or just plain incoherence.

The danger that would result from Trump returning to office seemed like a no-brainer, a prospect only those with a serious gap in their morals would be in favor of. Yet he received over 74 million votes, more than he did in 2020.

Many of those who voted for Kamala Harris this year simply cannot conceptual-

This phenomenon presents a threat to an effective democracy because it has resulted in huge numbers of Americans casting their votes based on biased information and, in some cases, misinformation. ize a mindset in which voting for Trump is the sensible choice. Therefore, we are left asking: Are there really that many Americans with such low standards? This very disconnect is the root of one of the biggest

threats to American democracy today: Politics in this country is more polarized than it has ever been. In many cases, Americans who disagree politically are unable to have a coherent conversation about their views because the two sides of the spectrum have grown so divided that there is almost no overlap between them. Because of this polarization, the two candidates on the ballot basically represented two extremes, causing supporters of each to feel that the election of the other would be a step in the complete wrong direction. A presidential race this important should not have come down to the margins. Furthermore, the importance of this race is a problem in itself. The United States has become so divided that it almost feels wrong to call us united at all.

This degree of polarization should be a cause for concern. It is unacceptable that so many of us must simply avoid speaking about politics with family members whose beliefs are so cemented in their minds that productive debate is impossible. This is not normal.

The root of this problem lies in the growing presence of political echo chambers, which have been heavily bolstered by the internet and targeted algorithms.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines echo chamber as “a situation in which people only hear opinions of one type.” In terms of American politics, this has manifested itself in the form of discursive spaces online and in the media, which are so heavily occupied by people who have the same viewpoint that the possibility for productive debate is effectively eliminated. Therefore, people who fall into these spaces will only have their pre-existing ideologies strengthened.

Such echo chambers exist among both liberals and conservatives. As a result, people who are only exposed to information

within a heavily conservative echo chamber will exist in a completely different political reality than someone in a more liberal space. Ideas or theories that are integral to the latter point of view are completely incoherent to the former and vice versa. As more people get sucked into these political pigeonholes, spaces of common ground between Republicans and Democrats have grown smaller and smaller. This even applies to mainstream news outlets like Fox or CNN, which have grown increasingly biased in recent years. Even Americans who receive most of their news from those national networks may find themselves in an echo chamber-esque space. When one gets further towards either side of the political spectrum and what they see remains unchallenged, their reality becomes more and more removed from actual reality. This phenomenon presents a threat to an effective democracy because it has resulted in huge numbers of Americans casting their votes based on biased information and, in some cases, misinformation. Although this issue is not new, it has been worsened by online platforms that show content similar to what a person has previously interacted with, speeding up the process of becoming surrounded by one single ideology.

The Harris campaign’s attempts to sway independent or undecided voters arguably points to the fact that the majority of Americans were already steadfast in their choice of candidate long before election day. It seems a fair assumption to say both campaigns saw it would essentially be pointless to try and sway voters whose views already lay too far in either direction because they are far more likely to be those who source their political knowledge from biased sources. And when enough biased sources are parroting the same story, a person who is not exposed to any other point

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

of view is very likely to fall into the kind of echo chamber described above. This is worrying. I am not trying to say that Harris’ decision to target campaigns at undecided voters and swing states in this past election were necessarily wrong because given the polarization of American politics at this point, it was basically the only option.

This election should not have come down to the undecided. That is not fair for either candidate, as both were left grasping for just enough votes to outnumber the other, and it is certainly not a successful exercise of democracy. It is unreasonable to ask any presidential candidate to compete against another when there are competing narratives circulating both which are so full of falsehoods. It seems almost laughable to ask a country that is so divided to come together to vote for one leader and be satisfied with the outcome.

We must encourage stronger media literacy among Americans. Rather than ignoring the echo chambers that encircle so many voters and focusing on those who are not completely stuck, we must work towards dismantling them completely.

Especially in a world where the internet exposes us to directly targeted content, we must take special care to ensure that the political information we are consuming is as objective as possible. This is the only way to ensure that the democratic election process will proceed fairly and to create an American political climate that is not so polarized.

Being human is about connection. Connection is essential for a successful democracy. If we keep allowing ourselves and each other to descend into these rabbit holes of false reality, that connection will fail. With the election of Trump for a second term as president, we have failed.

We cannot fail again.

SPORTS

November 14, 2024

Brewers

Ballin’:

Raphan

protects

Page 13

Gordon

Field

Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing.

If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.

Brewers Ballin’ Name: Jacob Raphan Year: Sophomore Team: Men’s soccer Stats: On Sunday, Nov. 10 the Vassar men’s soccer team won the Liberty League Championship, defeating St. Lawrence in the Liberty League final. The game was settled in a penalty shootout due to Raphan’s airtight work in between the posts during the 110 minutes of regulation and extra-time play before penalty shootout. Jacob Raphan tallied a career-high 10 saves in his fifth shutout on the year. The pinnacle of Raphan’s heroic performance came on the Saints’ third shot of the penalty shootout when the sophomore keeper dove left, reaching up his right arm to prevent a consequential shot. Raphan’s week was highlighted by earning Liberty League defensive player of the week for his shutout performance.

Statement: “This season has been a true culmination of the unwavering belief this group has along with the hard work we have put in since August 17th. I have a lot of gratitude towards this group and look forward to competing in the NCAA’s.”

Image courtesy of Jacob Raphan ’27.

Student

gives

Willem Doherty Guest Columnist

H

alfway through the NFL season, it is hard to be wrong if you are in sports media. The battle lines are drawn, playoff spots are already clinched and breakout stars/ unmitigated failures are pretty much set in stone. But, bravely, I am going to try and be wrong anyway. Here are five NFL takes you can taunt me with when the season ends.

1. The Chiefs are not what they seem.

NFL analysts are quick to point out that the Chiefs are winning a lot of close games, as if this is new or unknown information.

But, strangely, these same analysts also seem to forget their own reporting when they absolutely glaze the Chiefs at every conceivable media opportunity. Make no mistake: The Chiefs are a good team. But you should never, and I mean never, be one blocked field goal away from losing to Bo Nix and Sean Payton. The Chiefs are absolutely mortal, and we will see that bear out in the second half of the season with tough games against the Bills, Texans and Steelers. Hell, throw the Chargers in there, with their defensive renaissance the last few weeks. Clearly, the Chiefs have sold their soul to get where they are, but even

five

should-be-obvious

the devil can only do so much for a team that, since week one, has been punching above their weight with an under-producing offense and an elite defense that can only do so much. Expect the Chiefs to be at least a three or four loss team heading into the playoffs. They are good, but they are not perfect.

2. The Bengals are bad.

Joe Burrow remembered how to play football this season, after a stumbling start and a disappointing 2023 campaign. But that is not enough to save a team that is constantly coming up short. The Bengals defense is plain bad, posting a 31st-ranked red zone defense, a 26th-ranked scoring defense and middling to bad in every single other statistic. On the other side of the ball, a poor offensive line limits the play of an otherwise dominant offense. It is a shame that it went this way, especially because Ja’Marr Chase is about to take up even more cap space that is going to further cripple the Bengals’ front office. But, as it stands now, the Bengals only have a 41 percent chance of making the playoffs. With two tough games against division rivals Steelers, it is likely that even one additional loss outside those divisional games will sink playoff plans in Cincinnati. And remember: This

is a team that lost to the Patriots. How good can they really be?

3. Something is cooking in Pittsburgh.

When Justin Fields was benched for quarterback Russell Wilson in week six, there were naturally questions about fixing what is not broken, especially when the Steelers had posted a 4-2 record to that point. But, three weeks later, it is clear why Mike Tomlin is well compensated: The Steelers have since thoroughly boomed their opponents, including a venerable Commanders team who is almost certain to make a playoff run. Russell Wilson has added something to the Pittsburgh offense that has not been present since the Big Ben days: an element of healthy risk-taking.

To Pittsburgh fans, the willingness to take deep shots and make plays through the air has to be relieving after two years of Kenny Pickett. Pittsburgh is an unorthodox team, and their defense is certainly still better than their offense. But the Steelers are a team to look out for as we head into the postseason.

4. Offensive Lines are important after all.

Would you buy a Bugatti and then park it unlocked in the THs? Hell no—a bear is gonna break into it! And yet, despite decades of

NFL

takes

coaching wisdom to the contrary, teams are doing just that—or at least the NFL equivalent.

Eager to try out their franchise guys, head coaches are putting young stars into the line of fire—forgetting, apparently, why their teams were drafting high in the first place. Caleb Williams was sacked nine times on Sunday.

Nine times! How is a signal-caller supposed to learn and grow in conditions like these? If you are an NFL team, and you have a promising guy waiting in the wings, please, I beg you: let Tyson Bageant take the hit instead.

5. Don’t worry too much about the Texans.

Yes, the Texans are 6-4 right now, and they did lose to the Jets, which should not happen on the worst of days. Quarterback C.J. Stroud has taken a step back, even accounting for Houston’s wide receiver woes. But those calling the Texans pretenders might soon be shouting that the sky is falling. The Texans have had tough opponents thus far, and the rest of their season—barring games against the Chiefs and Ravens—seems pretty easy. We could see the Texans shake out with a perfectly respectable 12-5 record and a punched ticket to a home-hosted wildcard game. With wide receiver Nico Collins back, the Texans are perfectly valid contenders—as long as they improve down the stretch, especially under center.

Image courtesy of Karen Mogami ’24.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Page 14

SPORTS

November 14, 2024

Vassar men’s rugby completes undefeated regular season Continued from Rubgy on page 1 barbecue with the opposing team following the game.

Gibberd emphasized that given the high-impact nature of the sport, it may seem like the players hate each other on the field, but their differences are immediately put aside outside of the game. Dwyer agreed, explaining that oftentimes during a scrum, opposing teams will compliment each other and even commiserate during the game. A scrum is a physical battle for the ball; players from both teams interlock and push against each other for possession of the ball. “As a scrum half—the guy who puts the ball in the scrum—I get to watch the chatter between both teams as they kind of give that big hug to each other before they go in. And it’s like, ‘Man, you just killed me 20 seconds ago, man, that really hurt. My leg hurts.’ ‘Dude, I’m so sorry, man.’ And there’s just a lot of laughter,” Dwyer recalled.

Increased sideline support for the team distinguished this season from previous

years, as fellow athletes, friends and friends of friends make their way to the rugby field on Vassar’s Farm and Ecological Preserve.

Two games in particular where fan support was especially notable were the games against SUNY New Paltz and SUNY Maritime College. Regarding the former, Dwyer reflected that the team’s performance was not the best, but due to the exhilarating back and forth nature of the game, onlookers especially enjoyed it. “Our coaches actually put it well, they said, ‘It’s a great day to be a fan but a bad day to be a coach,’” Dwyer noted.

Concerning the Maritime game, Gibberd recounted that he was able to complete a breakaway try where he ran the length of the field to score—a rare accomplishment in his position. Additionally, TJ Usher ’27 had a field-length chase that ended in a last minute tackle to which the crowd erupted in applause. “It’s really fun to get people out and watching the games. I feel like this season, part of the reason why we did so well

is because we had—from either the women’s team or our friends—other players coming to support us. And it meant a lot ‘cause it’s tough to play a game like that,” Gibberd said.

“The farm is kind of tucked away. And so it’s nice to have just some people hyping you up or some sort of recognition for everything you’re putting in the game,” Dwyer added.

In the semifinals, Vassar took on Hofstra University, who they were victorious over last fall in the finals. The game was exhilarating with fans screaming on either side.

Reflecting on the game, Gibberd commented, “I think what was good about that game was, even though it wasn’t going your way, nobody gave up during that game. They realize it’s like, you know, like it doesn’t matter if we’re losing, we’re not going to quit. We’re going to play till the end and, you know, show heart and show respect for the…jersey that we’re wearing.”

Dwyer went on to commend Usher and

Benjamin Remy ’25 for their efforts this season. “They’re grabbing ankles and just fearlessly making bone crunching tackles.” He continued, “They have historically always been the last line of defense that are out there fearlessly just bringing them down and helping.” Of the forwards on the team, Dwyer lauded the fearlessness of Luca Frears ’27 as well, citing his hard work as a rookie underclassman.

Maintaining the humility upheld by all of the players, Dwyer concluded by encouraging students to engage with any sport during their time in college. “It’s a shame to never try a sport at least once in your college career. So I would say if you’re somebody at Vassar who hasn’t tried a sport yet, give at least a sport a try once. And I’d love if it were to be rugby,” he said. Reflecting on the overall season, especially the attitude of the team, Dwyer commented, “There’s a saying that rugby is a hooligan’s game played by gentlemen, and I think that does reflect it pretty well.”

Images courtesy of Nina Fishman ’25.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

SPORTS

November 14, 2024

Brewers Henry France, Casey McMenamin Sports Editor, Columnist

I

n Poughkeepsie, the trees shed their leaves and the weather turns cold, but not before the Brewers capture their fair share of fall sports titles. Vassar sports have been on a well-earned tear this fall. Fall athletes arrived on campus weeks before the start of classes, and months later, they are reaping the benefits of this hard work.

The Vassar Athletics department fields eight teams whose primary championship season is the fall, and of the eight, three earned championships in their respective conferences. The women’s cross country team and men’s soccer team won the Liberty League Championship, and the women’s rugby team won the Tri-State Conference Championship. Despite not winning their conference championship, the women’s soccer team, men’s cross country team and men’s rugby team are all succeeding this fall. The women’s soccer team exited the Liberty League Championship in the semifinals after a strong season, earning the squad an 11-3-5 record. On Nov. 11, the squad received a well-earned at-large bid to the NCAA National Championship tournament. The appearance will be the second in program history and the first under fourth-year head coach Keith Simons. The men’s cross country team raced to a second place finish out of eight scoring teams at the ECAC Championship. Levi Lilienthal ’25 led the way for Vassar with a third place finish out of 55 total finishers with a time of 27:29 on the 8k course. The men’s rugby team fell to Hofstra University in the semifinals of the Tri-State Conference Championship 19-67. The team will regroup in the spring. All in all, Vassar continues to show out this fall with teams still competing for national glory.

Men’s Soccer: Liberty League Champions On Sunday, Nov. 10 the Vassar men’s soccer team defeated the St. Lawrence Saints in penalty kicks. The contest remained knotted 0-0 for 110 minutes thanks to incredible goalkeeping from both sides. Vas-

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fall

sar goalie Jacob Raphan ’27 totalled 10 saves and a shutout, and St. Lawrence senior goalie George Charlambous added 11 saves and a shutout, keeping the Saints in the contest as Vassar pummeled the opposition throughout the match. The Vassar offense was knocking on the door for the entire game, finishing the contest with a 34-19 advantage in overall shots and a 14-10 edge in shots on goal. Despite the attacking advantage, the final whistle blew, and the match remained even. Twenty minutes of golden-goal extra time went by without a goal.

The teams stood side-by-side at center field as they watched their months of hard work culminate in 10 decisive penalty shots.

From Vassar, Duncan Keker ’25, Jared Fiske ’26, Arden Tobolski ’28 and Otis Wildman ’26 converted their shots before a critical save from Raphan and a St. Lawrence miss sent Gordon Field into celebration. Supporters stormed the field, and the team exhaled a sigh of relief. Almost two hours of offensive bombardment finally gave way, and the Vassar Brewers claimed the Liberty League Championship. Keker earned the tournament’s Most Valuable Player award, netting a goal in the semifinals and scoring a critical penalty in the finals. The team earned an automatic bid to the NCAA National Championship tournament where they will travel to Middlebury, VT to take on Rowan University in the first round of the tournament. The game will be played at 1:30 p.m. on Nov. 16 and can be viewed on NCAA.com.

record, but Schoenegge’s time was also the fastest time in Liberty League Championship 6K history. The Brewers’ success continued after Schoenegge crossed the finish line with Adelaide Nyhan ’27 finishing fifth and Anna Kaigle ’25 finishing seventh. Schoenegge, Nyhan and Kaigle were recognized with All Liberty League First Team honors. Coming off an injury, Norah Reade ’27 quickly bounced back and ran a 22:33.8, which was good for eighth and garnered her All Liberty League Second Team.

Rounding out the Brewers’ strong day on the campus of St. Lawrence University were the performances of Cayley Swain ’27, Noni Pattington ’25 and Acadia Helfand ’27.

Finishing 15th, 20th and 21st respectively, Swain, Pattington and Helfand added crucial depth to the Brewers’ squad, helping the Brewers to an average time of 22:14.

All three Brewers were recognized with All Liberty League Honorable Mentions. In total, the Brewers led the Liberty League with an impressive seven all-league selections.

After their success at the Liberty League Championship, the Brewers kept their momentum on their way to another team victory on Nov. 9 at the ECAC championship in Milton, NY. Sweeping first through seventh, the Brewers coasted to a perfect 15 points. Leading the way was Lizzie Lowe ’28, crossing the finish line with a season best 24:22.8. The Brewers hope to keep this momentum as they head into the NCAA Mideast Regional Championship next Saturday in New London, CT.

Women’s Cross Country: Liberty League Champions The women’s cross country team had a dominant fall campaign, capturing their second Liberty League team title in many years and finishing with 36 points at the Liberty League Championship race. Leading the way this season was the 2023-24 Vassar Athletics Betty Richey Performer of the Year winner Haley Schoenegge ’27. The superstar sophomore took home gold at the Liberty League title race on Saturday, Nov. 2, setting a Ronald C. Hoffman Cross Country Course record. Not only was it a course

Women’s Rugby: Tri-State Conference Tournament Champions Last fall, the Vassar women’s rugby team fell short in a painful loss to Columbia University in the Tri-State Tournament Championship game. But this year, the Brewers made no mistake, claiming the tournament title with a 37-7 win over Fairfield University. Jude Robinson ’26 (4), Sophia Bailey ’26 (2) and Emma Niehaus ’27 (1) all contributed with critical tries to give Vassar the win. The game was tight at the half as the squad led just 15-7, but as the whistle blew to begin the ladder portion of

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

seasons the game, Bailey wasted no time, putting Vassar up even more with both of her tries coming in a critical moment. With this victory, the Brewers extended their undefeated season, tallying 11 victories without a loss since their fall campaign began. Next, the women’s rugby team will travel to Virginia to compete in the National Collegiate Rugby South Regional Championship.

Conclusion With Thanksgiving rapidly approaching and the fall sports season coming to an end, the Brewers are making the most of their time left. After capturing their third Liberty League Championship in program history, the men’s soccer team is looking to keep their form as they gear up for the NCAA tournament. Leading his side to a second NCAA tournament appearance in just three years, head coach Jonathan Hood, PhD is leaning on the experience of the upperclassmen leaders to keep the Brewers in the moment and playing as a unit. The women’s soccer team will join the boys in burg in the women’s national tournament. The women’s soccer team will travel to Newport News, VA to take on St. Mary’s (MD) in the first round of the tournament. The game will be played at 3:30 p.m. on Nov. 16 and can be viewed on NCAA.com. The women’s cross country team is also hoping to make a splash in the NCAA Championship following their Liberty League win. The team travels to New London, CT on Nov. 16 with championships in sight. Finally, the women’s rugby team will pursue a national championship in Virginia in the National Collegiate Rugby South Regional Championship after falling short last season in the title game to Wisconsin Eau-Claire. As the winter seasons begin, the Brewers’ fall athletes have unfinished work. Long bus rides and early, cold evenings underscore national tournament games that could be the teams’ last on the road to national championship. Good luck to the Vassar men’s and women’s soccer teams, women’s rugby team and men’s and women’s cross country teams in the remainder of your fall season!

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GAMES

November 14, 2024

The Miscellany Crossword Category Match

By Felix Mundy-Mancino In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You do not know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category: 1: Toyota Car Models COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

WORD BANK ARTS GRIEF GOD PLUM GREEN OPINIONS HUMOR TOMATO WHITE FEATURES ONION MUSTARD PEACOCK NEWS LUCK PICKLE

Dots and Boxes

By Felix Mundy-Mancino Dots and Boxes is a two-player game played on a grid of dots. Players take turns drawing a line between two adjacent dots, either horizontally or vertically. The objective is to complete boxes by drawing the fourth side of a 1x1 box. When a player completes a box, they mark it with their initial and take another turn. The game continues until all boxes are filled, and the player with the most completed boxes wins. So grab a friend and compete to fill up the grid.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE