Unwind From Stress

Stress often arises from stories we create in our minds. Try this simple inquiry practice to shift your perspective.

BY NATE KLEMP AND ERIC LANGSHUR

Beneath every stressful emotion sits a thought—a thought that may or may not actually be true. Once you question the validity of the thought, the accompanying stress in the mind and body starts to fall away. That’s the basic insight of the practice of inquiry. The simple act of questioning the thoughts that shape our reality (especially when they create stress, anger, or frustration) opens the door to living a life with more compassion, ease, and openness to new possibilities.

You can integrate this practice into everyday life— standing in line at the grocery store, waiting for your plane to take off, or waiting for a doctor’s appointment—with the simple steps of Notice, Shift, and Rewire. Like letting the air out of a tire, inquiry is an inner technology for gradually deflating the beliefs and stories that create stress in our lives.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nate Klemp is a founding partner at Mindful and coauthor of The 80/80 Marriage and of Start Here, a New York Times bestselling guide to mindfulness in the real world.

NOTICE when you feel upset or irritated. Use these emotions as your reminder to take a step back and shift out of your ordinary habits.

SHIFT your perspective.

Once you notice that you’re caught in a stressful emotion, shift by asking a reframing question like, "How does this situation support my learning and growth?" "How would my rebellious adolescent self view this situation?" or "How would my best self respond to this?" This question might open new possibilities. It might even lead you to feel excited, instead of overwhelmed, by the challenge.

REWIRE. Take just 15 seconds to savor this alternative perspective. Remember that this simple practice is activating new neural pathways in the brain. See if you can stay with the experience to strengthen this new habit.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Eric Langshur is an author, public speaker, entrepreneur and investor. He is co-author of The New York Times bestseller Start Here: Master the Lifelong Habit of Wellbeing