Reaching higher ground Even when she was living on the street, this star student athlete never lost sight of her goals—or her sense of self-worth
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Melissa Berkay
By Sarah J. Stevenson, MFA ’04
In 2009, she was headed for a promising college athletic career on the East Coast. Her stellar high school swim performance in San Diego had earned her a scholarship to Rider University in New Jersey, an NCAA Division I school. But she soon was strug-
When Melissa Berkay’s hand touched solid ground after nearly
gling to stay afloat: when Berkay came out as queer, she was
13 hours in the open ocean last August, she set a world record
shocked by a hostile response from friends and family. A series
with her marathon swim across the Catalina Channel. What’s
of other troubling personal events followed until, ultimately, it
even more remarkable is that, just a few years earlier, the Mills
was unfeasible for her to continue at Rider.
junior was adrift—camped out behind a San Diego area thrift store, homeless and living in poverty. It was a difficult time, but the inner strength, resilience, and
“I left school because I had a breakdown and needed time to recover,” she says frankly. “I also needed time to transition into being comfortable with my identity.”
resourcefulness she relied on during those harrowing months
She and her new partner moved to upstate New York and
are the same traits that enabled her to complete a swim most
then to Michigan, where she juggled multiple jobs, including a
people would consider impossible.
sales position that didn’t meet her career goals or her ethical
She had a greater goal, too: she was swimming for a cause.
principles. It was not the life Berkay wanted to be living. So, two
Berkay, an athletic, sun-streaked blonde with a ready smile,
years after leaving for college, she set a new goal to return to
raised well over $4,000 from donors to benefit God’s Extended
San Diego with her partner and their dog, find new jobs, and
Hand Mission, Plymouth Congregational Church, and Rachel’s
reestablish their lives.
Women’s Center in San Diego, as well as Jazzie’s Place in San
But their return didn’t go as anticipated: Berkay’s parents
Francisco, the nation’s first emergency shelter for LGBTQ
were unable to provide housing. Most of her high school
adults. All four organizations help people who are suffering
friends had moved away, and those who remained were
poverty and homelessness.
uncomfortable with her same-sex relationship. The couple
Berkay herself once needed that kind of help. 8
M I L L S Q U A R T E R LY
couldn’t find an apartment or shelter that would accept their PHOTOS BY DOUG OAK LE Y