Parent Perspective: Positive Behaviour One of the most frustrating things I found in being a parent was noticing how often our primary communication with the children was to point out the things they did wrong. As a father of two boys (one with ASD and one without) it was disheartening for all of us to spend so much time finding fault and correcting mistakes. It could sometimes cloud our relationship and it felt like I was being more of a jail guard than a parent. Our involvement with the Qi Creative team changed all that when they introduced us to their philosophy of positive behaviour reinforcement. We worked with the team extensively and they gave us direction to first to establish the behaviours and actions we wanted our boys to take. We had spent so much time on identifying the things we didn’t want; it wasn’t obvious to the boys what we did want. So, with the guidance of Jon Rivero, our family embarked on a twopart exercise. The first thing was to identify the 5 key rules we wanted the kids to follow – things like choosing a good attitude and listening the first time. We posted these five rules all over the house to remind us all of what they were, and then secondly we spent the next few months as parents actively looking to find times when the kids were following those rules. We stopped looking to correct bad behaviour, and started instead to look for, and to reward positive behaviours and following the clearly defined rules. The results were amazing! We saw each boy gradually start to follow the rules, and they were delighted with the positive reinforcement they received from us. The mood of our entire household changed, and our relationship improved because they were seeing us as a source of positive reinforcement. The good behaviours drove out the bad behaviour simply by force of repetition and reinforcement. This lesson was pivotal for us and I would recommend it for any family, and for any relationship. The keys are being clear about expectations, and then relentlessly recognizing and rewarding success.
GUY KERR