THE SA S S FACTORY
advice from a business coach
Dear Charrise... Have a co-worker who’s driving you batty? A boss who just won’t listen to reason? Or maybe you’re wondering if this is your time to breakout and show the business world what you’re really made of – but you don’t know exactly how to go about it. Sounds like you need some sound business advice! Send your questions to Charrise, our SASSY business coach, and have them answered here. It’s time to get a fresh perspective!
I just made the difficult decision to resign a board position with an organization in whose mission I strongly believe because the organizational leadership is not carrying out the mission. My question is; how can one make this type of decision without feeling guilty or feeling like they are letting others down? Charrise Says Where is your guilt coming from? Did you do everything you could do to make it work? Board service is a wonderful way to give back to your community. Depending upon the board, serving can involve a significant time commitment. It’s vital that you feel like you’re making a difference in exchange for the time and energy you’re giving. You get to choose how you spend your time, and it’s useful to make that decision based upon the impact you’re creating through your service. Volunteer work is meant to be gratifying and, if it causes you stress, you’ve clearly got to take a serious look at it. The way to leave with integrity, without ‘letting others down’, is to do so with honor. Did you have a clear and direct conversation with the leaders about your concerns? Whether you stay on the board or not, it’s important to communicate your views so that both you and the organizational leadership each understand your unique perspectives. If the mission is something you embrace, how can you be a cause for furthering that mission, on or off the board? Sharing not only your concerns, but also some of your ideas for better ways of operating might make a significant difference. If your intention is to resign from the board in any case, having such a conversation will not cost you anything but a little more of your time.
I work in a small office with several women who have a great sense of style, but I am not very fashion-savvy. I am wondering how I can infuse a bit more style into my boring wardrobe but not break the bank at the same time. Charrise Says Is that really true, that you’ve not very ‘fashion-savvy’? If it were true, would you be able to notice that the others have a great sense of style? My guess is that you’re intimidated by the other women in your office and you simply choose not to compete. Ask yourself what the real deal is with this situation. If you’re feeling ‘less than’, there’s some inner work to do to navigate those emotions. 10 JANUARY 2013 | SASSY
You show the world who you are through your actions, and choosing how to dress is a reflection of your own personal sense of style. If you truly want to upgrade your outward image, I’d recommend you do it for the right reasons. Does the way you dress represent your authentic self? Once you’ve reconciled these core questions, if you’re still interested in improving your wardrobe, there are a few ways to do it on a budget. First, do your research. Go to Pinterest, or other websites where you can browse various looks and make some notes about what you like and don’t like. (If you use Pinterest, you can even create your own style board!) This research effort will cost you nothing but time, and it will result in the clarity you need to make smart and savvy style purchases. When you’re ready to make some purchases, consider shopping at the many local resale shops. There is a big market for gently used designer clothing, and you can buy really great clothing and accessories for a fraction of the cost of buying new. If you’re serious about this upgrade, you’ll need to be patient and spend some time acquiring the few key foundation pieces that will shift your relationship to style.
Lately I’ve been feeling very private and ‘not chatty’ at the office. Some people I work with are what I would call ‘over-sharers’, and I don’t feel like disclosing personal details of my life with people who I am not close to outside of work. Is there any way I can respectfully decline commentary on things like my love life or whether or not I find the mailman to be a ‘hottie’? Charrise Says Of course there is a way to respectfully decline your commentary: you could just smile and move on. It sounds, though, like there might be some trust issues with your co-workers. Some people create a very distinct boundary between work and personal lives, and that is generally a by-product of lack of trust. If you felt as though the people you work with would treat your sharing with respect, you might feel more comfortable sharing. It seems the office environment is often the perfect breeding ground for gossipmongering. It’s difficult to trust that your feelings and secrets will be safe, when you hear others making fun of people, or hear stories told again and again at the expense of someone else. It doesn’t feel safe to share details about yourself under these conditions.