FAMILY mommy & daddy
Feminine Fuel Why Women Need Each Other
W
hen I was in second grade, I met Kristen. I loved everything about her. She was a gymnast, and we would spend our days playing on the school field. She would do back handsprings, and I would skip along side her. We had our own special language; we liked the same sandwich, (peanut butter). She was my first girlfriend. Up until this point, I had spent a lot of time in the dirt with boys. Until one day, she just stopped. She became mean. I would try and talk to her, and she would ignore me. I couldn't understand how she could turn so quickly. I remember the feeling of my heart dropping to my stomach when she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore. She moved the next year. Thankfully within a year or so I met a new best friend whom I am still very close. What the experience with Kristen created in me is a fear of intimate relationships with women. I didn't allow a lot of women in my life despite many trying. I was fine with men. I understand men. Even being a woman, I sometimes don't understand women, I don't even get myself half the time. In high school and college I picked up a few girlfriends that I remain close with, but more guy friends by far.
By: Noelle Elliott
married too, and so the romantic portion of the relationship is spoken for. That doesn't work the same way when guys aren't married. Needless to say, this hasn't helped my ability to maintain friendships with men or women for that matter. It left me feeling lonely. Other than my husband, my closest male friendship is with my brother. Men are a solid yet a soft place to fall into when you need to talk. Throw in a handful of close guy friends and that was my social circle. (I'm still recovering from all of that ESPN exposure.) But about five years ago I felt like a crucial substance in my life was missing. I made it a goal to foster more female friendships. I joined a book club; I created a show that centered around women, called The Mamalogues. I accepted invitations to dinner or drinks with women. I went on a trip to Australia and met extraordinary women. I read books written by women, watched movies directed by women, went to symphonies conducted by women. I created space in my soul to allow women in. And something amazing happened.
Then almost everyone my age got married. I don't know many women who are okay with their husbands having friendships with other women. It's confusing; I mean "why would she want to be friends with a married man?" they ask themselves. Well, because I'm 18
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | MAY 2017
My feminine fuel was ignited. Feminine fuel is a fire that women keep lit deep within themselves. It's a light, that if you are open to it, will guide you when you are weak. Will warm you when you are