MQ Issue 4 April 2019

MQ

Spring 2019 Issue 4

Working in the Happiest Place on Earth

Students recount their experiences in Disney’s College Program

Fry Wars

Craving french fries in Oxford?

We’ve reviewed the best of the best at Uptown restaurants

Unintentional Athlete

How one track star went from being adamant she wouldn’t run in college to falling in love with her sport again

The Power of Quiet Why we should all make an effort to shut out the noise in our lives every so often

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The Miami Quarterly

CONTENTS 5 6 8 11 17 20 22 26 28

FEATURE People of MQ Wonders of Western Campus: The Hidden Oasis of the Belk Greenhouse Working in the Happiest Place on Earth How I Figured Out What I Needed

SCENE Fry Wars From the Staff Photo Story: Couples

SPORTS Unintentional Athlete The Horse Bug

OPINION

30 32 34

The Vicious Cycle of Stress and Mental Illness The Power of Quiet Miami WiFi Presents Problems

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28 8

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THE BOX Editor-in-Chief Kelly McKewin Business Manager Hannah Meyer Art Director Brittany Meister Photo Editor Lydia Hanicak Managing Editor Rachel Berry Feature Editor Rachel Berry Scene Editor Leanne Stahulak Opinion Editor Ben Deeter Sports Editor Massillon Myers Writers Zoey Becker Sam Cioffi Emily Dattilo Mady Neal Zachary Strauss Designers Brea Frey Hanna Polisini Mia Raleigh Photographers Sarah Brossart Laura Dudones Jugal Jain Emma Roane Faculty Advisor Patricia Gallagher Newberry

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hello again readers, The “Letter from the Editor” in MQ’s final issue of the year tends to be a nostalgic reflection on endings, new beginnings, and the great unknown that comes with graduation and finishing out the last few weeks of senior year. This is typically because the editor of MQ is a senior, and they’re not only saying good-bye to the magazine and the school year on a whole, but to their entire Miami experience.

I’m only a junior. This means two things—first, that I have no sappy goodbyes to give, and second, that you’re all still stuck with me next year. Thus, I hope you enjoy my lame attempts at humor in these letters, because it’s not going anywhere. You get FOUR MORE issues of this. I can tell you’re all so excited.

You are super excited, right?

On a more serious note, I am thrilled to get the chance to run this magazine again next year. It’s not very often that you get the opportunity to repeat an entire experience, and for something like this, which began as a huge learning curve but has since turned into something I completely love doing, I’m even more grateful for that chance.

Back in October, right before the first issue of MQ released, I experienced one of the worst days I’ve ever had. The magazine was supposed to be dropped off one afternoon, but there was some kind of miscommunication between me, the printer, and the delivery driver, and instead of having the magazines nicely stacked by our office in Armstrong, they were left on the road in the Bishop Woods near Upham.

Seventeen boxes, all about 50 pounds (which I could barely lift), and I had to somehow find a way to get them over to Armstrong, inside and up the stairs on my own.

I had a complete and utter meltdown upon realizing this. Like, this was a sitting-on-the-sidewalk, sobbinguncontrollably-in-public absolute breakdown.

Some people stopped to ask me if I was okay. More people gave me weird looks and then avoided walking

anywhere near me. I don’t know quite how long this went on, but it was long enough that I definitely looked crazy.

At some point, I got started, dragging and pushing and kicking the boxes little by little until I had them all inside. It took me a few hours and I missed a class to do it, and by the end of it, I was so exhausted, I never wanted to look at a magazine again. At one point, I was ready to quit journalism, drop out of Miami, walk into a cornfield, and never return (I was being ever-so-slightly over-dramatic that day).

Looking back, there were a lot of ways I could have made that situation easier on myself—I could have carried the magazines inside in smaller stacks, or just done the logical thing and asked someone for help. But at the time, it seemed like the most insurmountable task that I had to figure out all on my own. It was my (and MQ’s) rock bottom, lowest of the low points this year. After that day, I kept telling myself that it could only get better.

In just about every way, I was right about that. I am so proud of every issue our staff has put together this year, and each one feels even better than the last. I’m hoping to take that mentality into next year, too.

MQ is on an upward trend, and I’m going to take the fact that I’m lucky enough to hold this position for two years and use it to make sure we ride this momentum forward into creating the best magazine we possibly can next year.

I guess I was wrong about this letter not being nostalgic or sappy—I was doing my best to avoid that, but I guess we ended up here anyway. In any case, thank you to everyone who has picked up an issue this year. Your readership and feedback are incredibly important, and it’s why we do this in the first place.

I look forward to sharing more stories with you all next year.

Best,

Kelly McKewin

People Of MQ:

a First-Year in Her Forever Home story: Mady Neal photography: Sarah Brossart

Cristina Sepulveda, an international student from Mexico, was no stranger to Miami when she set foot on campus for her first-year move-in day. She’d visited several times before for her older brother’s move-in days and family weekends, but this time was different. This time, she couldn’t wait to make her home on campus.

“I liked Miami in the first place because I came to [campus] during my brother’s freshman move-in day, and I loved everything about it, which was what made me first realize I wanted to come here too,” Sepulveda says.

Though figuring out what she wanted to do with her life was more complex than she ever expected, she felt Miami would be the place where she would discover her passion. Sepulveda contemplated various majors and eventually chose marketing after she took a psychology class in high school. She believes marketing is a practical way she can apply her love for psychology.

“Marketing is all about behavior — what people like, what people see. It’s kind of like the more people side of psychology,” Sepulveda says.

Interacting with people and finding a community has been incredibly important for Sepulveda, because she had a hard time adjusting to college life early on.

“I didn’t know how to get involved, and my dorm floor isn’t close together,” Sepulveda says. “None of them really talk, and me and my roommate don’t get along super well, so I had to go out of my way to find people.”

When she spent her first break at home this year, all Sepulveda could think about was returning to Miami and how much she wanted to come back. Her fellow Redhawks noticed this change in her as well.

“It’s been so great so see Cristina coming out of her shell,” her friend Dania Puente says “She seems to be getting so much more confident and outgoing. You can tell she really thinks of Miami as home.”

looks to her future with optimism and excitement, and is making ambitious plans, starting with getting involved academically by joining a business fraternity.

The most important thing has been balancing all aspects of her life. Sepulveda says that even her study habits make her feel a part of Miami. In high school, she described herself as less social. She studied a lot in the privacy of her own room, but at Miami, she has noticed that even study time is a great way to meet new friends.

To incoming students, Sepulveda offered advice that reflected her own experiences:

Another close friend of Sepulveda’s, who met her through fellow international students, agrees with that sentiment.

“Talk to everyone and give everything a chance. Really try getting involved, that’s the biggest part of it,” Sepulveda says.

“She is the kind of friend that will go out of her way just to help you,” Paula Concha-Fernandez, first-year, says.

Now that she feels at home, being on her own doesn’t seem nearly as daunting, and Sepulveda says she is ready for what comes next.

Though she has a good friend group, that doesn’t mean that there are no challenges to being a first-year international student in college.

Sepulveda describes herself as someone who often overthinks things and worries too much about stress. Nevertheless, she

“I’ve always been more independent, but I thought it was so good for me to have even more of that independence,” Sepulveda says.

That independence is only her starting point.

Feature | 5

Wonders of Western Campus story: Kelly McKewin photography: Jugal Jain

I

could lose a whole third grade class under there,” John Keegan, Belk Greenhouse manager and botany instructor, jokes as he pushes some leaves aside.

He is referring to a large philodendron selloum tree in the back corner of the greenhouse, one that has grown so large, its roots have busted out of its pot.

The black plastic is split down the middle, and the tangle of roots emerging from it look like an army of snakes, spilling over the sides.

This tree is just one of hundreds of plants that are inside the Belk Greenhouse, which is located on Miami’s Western Campus inside of Boyd Hall. While many of the plants in the greenhouse are native to Ohio, there are just as many that come from places around the world, particularly from tropical environments. The eight rooms in the greenhouse hold cacti, ferns, orchids and other flowers, along with seedlings or cuttings of other plants being used for research.

6 | Feature

Keegan has been running the greenhouse for over 40 years now, and also teaches classes at Miami, such as horticulture and landscaping. He originally became interested in working with plants as a child when he’d help out in his father’s garden, and says its still the plants today that make him excited about coming to work.

“Plants are amazing. They’re beautiful. They’re just incredible with how they will come back every year,” Keegan says. “I also really enjoy teaching and working with students. That still has not gotten old.”

Keeping the greenhouse running day-to-day involves a lot more than just watering plants. Keegan, along with the students who work in the greenhouse, spend their days watering, fertilizing, and checking the plants for pests. They also repot plants, prune dead leaves, start seedlings for the garden behind the greenhouse, and check on the plants being used for professor’s research.

There are also no days off—someone comes in to check on the plants every day.

“We never close, so consequently, someone is in here on Christmas Day. Someone is here on New Years, the fourth of July. Any holiday, somebody has to be in here to at least check the watering,” Keegan says.

Though spring and summer are the busiest seasons for the greenhouse, as the blooming plants need daily care, students are working in it year round, often preparing seedlings or plant cuttings for the spring during the off months. For Theodore Cunningham, a senior biology major, the greenhouse is a nice reprieve from Ohio’s chilly temperatures.

“The best thing is in the winter when it’s glum and dreary, you get to walk into the greenhouse and it’s full of color and it’s warm,” Cunningham says.

For Brennan Henry, a senior botany major, working

The Hidden Oasis of the Belk Greenhouse

in the greenhouse has given him a practical way to apply the things he’s learned about in class, which has given me a better appreciation for his major.

“Working there has allowed me to put into practice a lot of the things I’ve learned in my bio classes. I think it’s pretty astounding in a lot of the plant bio classes how little you’ll see an actual plant and work with it and touch it or interact with it. We usually just read about them or see pictures,” Henry says.

There are some challenges in keeping the greenhouse running. Keegan refuses not use harsh chemicals or pesticides inside it. However, this means that the greenhouse staff needs to stay extra vigilant to notice when pests get in, and work to naturally fight them off. However, this extra attention is worth it to Keegan; refusing to use pesticides promotes better plant health and also ensures that Belk is always safe for the public to visit.

Biology classes will often visit the greenhouse through “Plants are just so interesting in so many ways. It’s the semester, and Keegan says there are a fair number like, ‘Oh these have such interesting leaves or these of art and photography students who visit as well, to have such interesting growth habits, this one has take photographs of the plants. Beyond this, however, such beautiful flowers. This one attracts bees and the greenhouse’s location on Western Campus makes butterflies when you put it outside,’” Keegan says. it an out-of-the-way locale for many students. As a “It’s unfortunate it’s not easy to get over here for a result, most of the people who work in Belk feel it’s a lot of people, but we like seeing people. There are so hidden treasure of Miami. many hidden gems on campus that we don’t know about. Sometimes it’s a question of taking the time to “I think it’s one of Miami’s hidden gems. It’s just a nice see those kinds of things” place to go to walk through,” Henry says. “You can always go there. It’s never crowded, it’s easy to walk Belk Greenhouse is open every weekday to the public around, and it’s always open during normal building from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. The entrance is inside of Boyd hours. I just wish more people knew about it, because Hall. it’s really not that far. I mean, it’s closer than Peabody is.”

Keegan agrees that it’s worth it for people to seek out the greenhouse, even if it may be a bit off their usual path, as they might discover a new kind of plant they enjoy.

Feature | 7

Working at the happiest

place on earth story: Leanne Stuahulak

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t’s everything you ever dreamed it would be: the crowds surging under the archways, spilling out onto a bright and clean cul-de-sac sprinkled with old-timey buildings. Brightly painted walls and curling architecture soar over your head, iron street lamps line the boulevard and wink at you in the sunlight. The sweltering Florida heat envelopes you from all sides — in addition to the sweaty guests pushing and shoving their way past — but it doesn’t matter. You’ve arrived. Main Street USA is laid out before you in all of its glory, and ahead, you can finally see it: the castle. Its spires pierce the clouds, towering over the center of the park and shining like a pearly beacon against the glittering blue sky.

Everyone around you is caught up in the same thrall, the same disbelief that you’re finally here: the Happiest Place on Earth. AKA: Disney World. and for Miami senior Beth Pfohl, that tenet proved to be unfailing.

They say it’s the place where dreams come true “It was always my dream to work at Disney,” Pfohl says.

“It was always a thing I knew was going to happen.”

Phofl was able to realize her dream by applying for the Disney College Program, a semester-long paid internship program where college students from around the country can live and work in Orlando. They go through a rigorous application process, including an online application, web-based personality test and eventually a phone interview. If applicants get to the phone interview stage, then they are in serious consideration for the program and spend the interview discussing potential roles.

“They ask you about the top three roles you want, and you 8 | Feature

have to rank all of their roles by high, medium, low and no interest,” Pfohl says. “Unless you put no interest at all, you can still be considered for that role. They talk about why you really want this, and you can kind of tell after the interview what role you got based on questions they ask you.”

As a double major in theater and strategic communications, one of Pfohl’s top choices was a character performer. Unfortunately, that’s one of the most competitive roles in the Disney College Program, and instead she was then assigned to another division “I scrubbed toilets, I pulled trash, I cleaned up lots of Code V (vomit) and dealt with a lot of lost children,” Pfohl says. She worked for seven months as a custodian.

“I also got to make magic every day — that was my favorite thing in my job.”

Custodians are responsible for not only cleaning up around the park but also providing customer assistance and specialized experiences to guests. Pfohl interacted with several patrons in between her custodial duties, and some of those interactions included “magical moments.”

to be a better person and have better relations with the people you forget to think about that make your life function on a daily basis.”

Even when guests were unbelievably rude to her, or treated her with disdain, Pfohl never forgot Disney’s underlying principle.

“You have to put on a smile and genuinely wish them to have a magical day, because the guest is always right, you never know what’s going in someone’s life, and you really want them to have an amazing time.”

While Pfohl’s experience was a positive one and helped her grow into the person she is today, not everyone who participates in the Disney College Program is left with such a warm, fuzzy feeling.

“I felt, in a sense, broken, after leaving Disney,” Sierra Whittemore says. “I left the end of my program not feeling confident in myself, so coming back [home] was very difficult because I had lost so much confidence. It’s taken me awhile, but I’m back to myself.”

“You want to make magic for the kids that want to be there, who look really invested,” Pfohl says. One such magical moment was an autograph book she’d carry around with her. “Whenever I saw a little girl dressed up as a princess, I would approach her and be like, ‘Oh my gosh, Princess Belle, I didn’t know you’d be in the kingdom today! May I have your autograph?’”

Whittemore, a junior in business management and leadership at Miami, didn’t actually know about the Disney College Program until late her senior year of high school. Unlike Pfohl, who knew the DCP would be a part of her college career, Whittemore decided on a whim to take a semester off and learn from “one of the most recognized businesses on the globe.”

Moments like these reminded Pfohl of the magic that inspired her to work for Disney in the first place, but the job didn’t come without harsh reminders of the real world.

Her experience started off just fine; she was assigned to merchandise, which wasn’t her top choice, but it still kept her busy. She worked in Emporium, the largest store on Disney World’s property. The store extends down almost the entirety of Main Street in the Magic Kingdom.

“I’m so glad that I had this job that was difficult and sweaty and dirty, but ultimately really rewarding,” Pfohl says, “because I learned a lot about myself; I learned how

“I really enjoyed the hectic, fast-paced lifestyle there. You didn’t have a dull moment. I loved the chaos, the parade

rush, the firework rush. Everyone was in that chaos together, everyone was working hard, and they (the other cast members) would step up and fill in right where you were lacking,” Whittemore says.

you’re at a register,” Whittemore says.

she sees at the Peter Pan ride.

But that doesn’t mean that Disney is completely ruined “My favorite is 100% the children who come in and are so for Whittemore. “I do not think that the magic is gone excited to ride the ride and see Peter Pan. [They] hug my — I had some of my roommates say the magic is gone. legs, and you get to see the happiness on their faces, and it Whittemore said that about two months in is about when That magic is still there. It’s still enjoyable, but I need makes all the bad stuff go away. Seeing their magic makes she started to really bond with her fellow cast members. some more time to heal before I truly go back. Then I’ll the whole thing seem more magical,” Russo says.

At the end of her first two months, Disney unexpectedly be able to appreciate it more, but I think I still have a very transferred Whittemore out of Magic Kingdom and over positive mindset on Disney as a whole.”

For some people, that magic never goes away. After to Disney Springs. spending seven months in Orlando, followed by four Pfohl and Whittemore both spoke about their months in Luxembourg and now a semester in Oxford, “I didn’t know it was coming, and I wasn’t super happy experiences after coming back from their semester in Pfohl is preparing for her second program at Disney about it. The first location was wonderful, but the Orlando. Elissa Russo, on the other hand, has only been following graduation. second location .... not as much,” Whittemore says. She working for the program for a little over two months. But had a hard time bonding with her new cast members at that doesn’t mean she’s a stranger to the park.

“I’m kind of at this crossroads in my life; I wanted to travel Disney Springs, especially after they’d already cemented more and not sit down at a 9-5 job. I decided my dream their friendships and cliques after working together for “I’ve probably been to Disney 25-30 times in my life,” of performing with Disney was one I wasn’t ready to give two months.

Russo said. “Disney’s been a big part of my life since I’ve up,” Pfohl says. been a kid. My family’s a big Disney family. I’ve known “[It didn’t help that they] didn’t really embrace the Disney since I was a kid that I wanted to live down here. It’s been She reapplied for the program as soon as she got back mindset as much. It wasn’t as positive, wasn’t as magical,” a dream of mine.” from Luxembourg in December and received a position Whittemore says. as a character attendant. Being her second choice, Pfohl Russo is currently working at Disney in the attractions was ecstatic about the opportunity. But she decided Whittemore admitted that her DCP experience was department, as a cast member at the Peter Pan ride. While to give her dream one last shot, and so she went to an shaped by a very unusual set of circumstances, and that she really wanted to be a character attendant or work at audition in Columbus in early this January. she likely is the exception and not the rule. the Bippity Boppity Boutique, Russo has definitely gained something by working in attractions.

A couple of weeks ago, she learned that she got the part.

“My entire situation was very strange; the fact that I was She will be working as a character performer this summer. transferred played a huge role in that, so I feel like that “This is the first time I’ve worked a full-time job, so it’s wasn’t the case for everyone,” Whittemore says. “Some definitely made me feel more independent as an adult, “I’m so, so excited to go back down. I get to literally live people absolutely love the program. Some people more professional and ready to take on more advances in my dream in the place where dreams come true,” Pfohl absolutely hate it; you’re either one way or another. It’s my professional future,” Russo said. says. interesting how it can grasp some people, but it’s not for everyone.”

As a math major, Russo aims to work in the analytics Despite being rejected the first time around, Pfohl gave department at Disney someday, tracking how many the audition another shot, to prove to herself and others Overall, Whittemore felt like she never truly had a chance guests enter the parts per day and what areas promote the that she was capable of realizing to grow from the experience. most satisfaction. her dream.

“The biggest thing I missed was challenging myself.

Projects, assignments, I missed that. I missed the chance to improve. You don’t really get that when every day

But Russo is gaining more from the Disney College Program than just professional experience in her field of study. She also loves the excitement produced by the kids

“You learn from every failure just as much if not more than from every success. I’m not that person who says, ‘Yeah I can’t do it.’ I’m that person who says, ‘Watch me.’”

Feature | 9

How I Figured Out

Things Get Bad — October 2016

about to honk when he texted me to follow him.

I had spent nine tumultuous months with my high school boyfriend, Josh*, and I was fed up. I won’t go into detail about the toxic and emotionally scarring relationship we had, because that’s not the part that matters. What matters is the trauma of the breakup and the aftermath, which is what led me to where I am now. There’s no question that if I had never heard from him after Oct. 9, my life would be completely different.

I drove uneasily behind him, my hands clutching the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I followed his Honda down familiar streets that quickly told me we were going on the highway towards D.C. I could see the Mormon temple up ahead—it looks like Cinderella’s castle during the Christmas season, and the lit-up landmark reminded me of when Josh had taken me there for Valentine’s Day. It was the worst Valentine’s Day of my life. Women aren’t even allowed in the Mormon temple, and Maryland gets cold in February.

But I did hear from him after that day. I heard from him just a few hours later, actually.

I was at Party City, where I worked, for the seasonal mandatory meeting where we all uncomfortably stand around the stock room and silently judge each other’s street clothes. My phone was blowing up with texts, and my eyes were still puffy from crying by the time I got to my car.

He wanted to meet up. Well, okay, I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to meet him one last time, just to say goodbye before he goes back to Penn State for college. If my mom hadn’t been travelling for work that weekend, I wouldn’t have been allowed to meet up with my recent and very clearly unstable ex-boyfriend. But she was gone, so I sped off towards his house.

When I arrived in his trim neighborhood, he was in his car, pulled up to the curb, blinkers on. I was 10 | Feature

I was about to call him, tell him that I refused to go to the temple, when he pulled off into what looked like a hotel parking lot.

The air was still when I parked behind him and opened my window. I waited in my car as he prepared to leave the front seat of his. I looked around for anything familiar to tell me where I was.

I never knew a lot of the random places Josh took me—sometimes they were his “thinking places” and sometimes they held childhood memories. I saw a park bench leading up to a dirt path, overlooking the busy city highway. My heart stopped. I hoped we weren’t where I thought we were.

A note slipped into my lap through the window. By the time I looked up, Josh was walking away, towards the dirt path. I ripped open the envelope, expecting it to be a sappy break up letter. Of course, I was right.

I still have the note buried somewhere in my dresser.

He titled it “Everything I Can’t Say in Person,” and scribbled incredibly sappy ramblings about how I was the love of his life and I changed him forever and we were going to get married.

The end of the note said, “if you still want to end things, honk once and drive away. If you decide not to, you know where I am.”

I looked up. I honked twice. I knew where we were now.

I jumped out of the car and made a bee line for the dirt path. I couldn’t believe he had done this. I couldn’t believe he had taken me here.

On New Year’s Day, 2015, one of my classmates jumped off a bridge overlooking a busy highway.

Orange solo cups were stuck in the gate over the highway, outlined in the shape of the bow tie that Noah always wore. I had never driven past it as I hadn’t fully gotten over my fear of highways yet. But it was unmistakable—Josh had taken me to Noah’s memorial site, the place where he took his own life.

Noah had already been on my mind. It was the start of our senior year, and sometimes I felt like everyone was walking around missing him, like he was a ghost haunting our hallways, our grade forever burdened with the feeling that we’re missing one face in our senior class picture. I wasn’t close friends with Noah,

What I Needed story: Zoey Becker

*pseudonyms have been used in some cases

but I had always admired him from afar, in awe of his confidence and incredible singing voice. Have you ever missed someone that you never really knew?

I’ve felt that way for four years now. Going to his memorial site, to that bridge, was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

“This note is ridiculous Josh. ‘Honk once and leave’?

You took me to Noah’s bridge, of course I’m not going to leave you here.”

“I’m not suicidal,” he said. I didn’t believe it.

I spent half an hour convincing him to go back to our cars, and another half hour letting him kiss me in my backseat. It’s the last time I’ll ever have to kiss him, I thought. Luckily, I was right about that, but I couldn’t shake him off that easy. It would require more than some backseat fondling to get him off my hands. I agreed to meeting up during winter break as I smoothed down my hair. I agreed to being open to dating again in the future as I got back in my driver’s seat. I agreed to being friends with benefits as I opened the door for him to leave.

I went home that night feeling shaken, but relieved.

My toxic boyfriend was gone! Now I could focus on spending time with my friends, applying to colleges, working at Party City and keeping up with my Editor-in-Chief duties for the school newspaper.

I felt free. I felt like the shackles I had worn for nine months had been lifted. I could freely text my guy

friends without worrying about a jealous boyfriend logging into my messaging apps to check on me or go to parties without having to constantly check my phone and tell Josh how many drinks I had and who I was talking to. I fell asleep hopeful, looking forward to the future with excitement, rather than the anxiety I would be used to over the coming weeks.

Even Worse — October 2016 It had been about a month since I met Josh at the bridge, and all my hopeful dreams of mental peace were long since dashed. We had been fine as “friends” for a week or so, and I had done a good job of avoiding his overly sexual Snapchats. I naively thought that if I played along, he would eventually go away. I would reply to his Snapchats every few hours and give polite responses to his endless thanking me for our time spent together. But they just kept coming, over and over, messages discussing lewd sex acts in between obsessive “romantic” sentiments.

mind. I was feeling pretty good when I went to my college counselor appointment one Monday evening.

Amy, my college counselor, was kind of off the wall, but she filled me with confidence that I would be accepted to all 14 colleges I applied to. I was feeling good when I finally got back to my car and checked my phone.

My stomach dropped the second I saw my home screen, filled with notifications. Fucking Facebook.

I forgot to block him on Facebook.

10/13/16 7:27 PM Josh: Zoey I just want you to know I know more than you think Zoey: Know what Josh: Unblock me :)

Finally, I had enough. I told him that I really needed space and couldn’t be his person to lean on anymore.

I wanted to take a break from communicating altogether, and I blocked him on Snapchat, Instagram, phone calls and text messages. Even as I was doing it, I felt a pit in my stomach telling me that I shouldn’t.

Zoey: Why Josh: Can we talk?

Zoey: Sure Josh: Unblock !

I shook off the bad feeling and continued on with my week—I purposely stayed busy with my classes and college applications, trying to push Josh out of my Feature | 11

Zoey: On text?

Josh: Of course silly Zoey: Can’t I just call you Josh: Nah You can later Zoey: Why not now I’m scared why should I unblock you

naked pictures he had of me in an album on his phone, including many that I didn’t even know that he took. I screamed and begged and cried and cursed but he just laughed and hung up the phone. The power dynamic had switched, and suddenly I was powerless. I sobbed into my steering wheel, facing the first of many anxiety attacks that I would have over the coming months.

“Mary?”

My voice was shaky as I called my best friend.

Josh: I promise I won’t do anything I just need to talk Zoey: Why should I want to talk to you and what do you know Josh: You should unblock me

“Can you please pick me up? I’m at my college counselor’s downtown and Josh just called me and he has all these pictures of me and oh, Mary, I don’t know what to do.” I cried and cried, knowing my voice was unintelligible, but Mary had been friends with me for our entire lives. She could understand me.

Zoey: Fine My hands were shaking as I unblocked him. I felt trapped and small. I couldn’t help the tears from escaping my eyes and streaming down my face.

I never wanted to have to unblock him, but I had never felt so helpless.

He called me a slut, said now he finally had proof that I had been cheating on him our whole relationship.

His voice was so cold. I’ll never forget the voice that spoke to me on the phone that day. It certainly wasn’t the quiet, nervous boy who had asked me to go to the zoo one December day. No, this was a calculated manipulator, a man who was suddenly emboldened by the demons that had chased him all his life. He had finally found a way to numb the pain of constant anxiety—by projecting it onto me, the girl who broke his heart.

She arrived ten minutes later, opened the passenger door of her red Acura and drove me home.

My dad was furious, demanding to talk to Josh’s mother. My mom was angry too, mumbling that she’d always hated him. My sister hugged me, and Mary stroked my hair.

That night, something important had changed. Josh went from being a love-struck ex to a crazy and angry one. I knew that this was dangerous. I knew by now that he wouldn’t back off.

“At least he’s not here,” my mom said.

“He is so lucky that he’s not here,” my dad replied.

“It’s going to be okay,” Mary said.

“He’s super ugly,” my sister said.

I had never cheated on Josh, but that didn’t matter to him. He warned me to look out for pictures of myself on the Internet. I was reminded of the hundreds of

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Coming Undone — November 2016

It had been a month since I had set all of these events in motion. A month since I ended what I thought was an average high school relationship. A month of psychological trauma, unblocking and blocking, threats and voicemails from strange numbers, photoshopped pictures advertising my fake Internet porn, and warning my boss and co-workers of a dangerous man who could recognize my car.

It turns out that it didn’t matter that Josh was away at college. He would come back home often, and I would walk to my car at lunch only to find him parked right next to me. One morning I had friends move my car two different times, yet by the time lunch rolled around, his CRV was still right next to my Rav 4. It wasn’t too rare for me and my sister to be driving home from school and notice that familiar CRV right behind me, way too close, tailing me all the way through my dead-end neighborhood.

My mom stopped letting me drive to school, then stopped letting me drive to work as well. Everything was a risk, and Mary became my chauffeur.

I was getting strange voicemails from old friends who had since sided with Josh and warned me that my house would get egged. People, sometimes even Josh himself, would often send me links to long posts on his Instagram, Facebook and Reddit detailing the months of abuse that he claimed I put him through.

Sometimes, my friends would go after him. My friend Olivia told him that the domestic abuse awareness post he had put up on Instagram was out of line.

The caption mentioned that I had physically abused him, slapped him in front of his friends, hit him and punched him multiple times and that he still had the bruises to show for it—all outrageous lies. He then posted her texts on his Instagram and told the world I had been lying to my friends as well. He painted me as an abusive liar who could not be trusted.

What was I supposed to do? It was an outright lie. I had never punched anyone—I don’t have a violent bone in my body. Seriously, my parents call me a

delicate flower. I literally could not get in a fight if I tried. Yet, here were all these rumors being spread about me, leading people to believe I was an abusive monster. And I could do nothing to disprove them.

It was a feeling of helplessness that I had never felt before. I felt like all the control I had ever had in my life was ripped away from me. I could not control what happened to me next. I just had to sit there and wait.

I became depressed. I didn’t want to go to class. I sat on my kitchen floor at night and cried and cried. I cried in the shower, in the car, anytime I could. I felt like a shell of a girl. I lost all motivation, all my cares in the world. I was useless, unable to change my fate or anyone else’s.

My family and friends tried so hard to help me. My friend Cassidy, who I had only known for a few months, cried with me and keyed his car the next time it appeared in the senior parking lot. My dad met up with him at a coffee shop after Josh’s insistent begging but left when it became apparent that Josh was attempting to spread lies about me to my own father. My mom kept telling me to block him, and I did, but he always found a way to message me again.

I couldn’t take the stress anymore. All day I would panic and think of worst-case scenarios—what if he came in here right now and shot me dead? I was completely losing my mind.

It was November now, and I was sitting in my digital art class, fiddling with a project on Photoshop and joking around with my two freshman friends. I was feeling okay that day. My project was coming along well, the new edition of the newspaper had been sent to press the night before, and I had finished all of my college applications. My Photoshop project consumed me, and I took great pride in editing it just right. However, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing in my lap.

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I took a deep breath before I checked my messages, because I knew who it was. This time, he had messaged me multiple times, threatening his own life.

why, maybe because I was too sad and scared or maybe because my parents awarded me a day to work on college stuff or something. No matter the reason, I was still stressing out, and I couldn’t figure out why. It’s a feeling that I’m so used to now: waking up sometimes and feeling anxious all day, with no idea why.

some of his most concerning posts from social media.

There were over 20 pictures printed out. We were ready.

Josh: “I did coke last night, too. And I’m gonna do it again.”

With no school to distract me, I was losing my mind.

I had to do something. I couldn’t sit there and deal with the sense of dread anymore.

I still felt hopeful as we walked down the long hallway towards his office. Even when his former counselor told us that the one of the assistant principals might be more helpful, I was still hopeful.

Josh: “I am going to kill myself, and it will be your fault.”

By the time the bell at school rang for lunch, I had a plan.

He sent me a picture of him smoking a cigarette, saying that because of me he was now addicted to cigs.

Josh: “My blood is completely on your hands, and you’re not invited to my funeral.”

Josh: “You did this to me.”

The texts kept flooding in. They wouldn’t stop, no matter how tightly I gripped my phone.

“Are you okay?” Leah asked me.

“I’m fine. It’s just Josh.” I mumbled. I could tell she was about to ask more, and I didn’t want her to, so I wheeled my rolling chair back and left the room.

My hands shook as I stepped into the familiar green and white hallways of my high school. I wasn’t that worried about his safety—maybe that’s surprising, but at this point, I had lost most of the love and all of the respect that I had ever had for him. I knew that he wasn’t going to kill himself… but what if he does and everyone blames it on you and you have to live with the guilt and shame forever?

“I was at the end of my rope. I was completely undone, nothing like the girl I had been nine months earlier. I didn’t care about Josh, about my newspaper, about my friends or my future.”

That’s the thought that kept me up most nights.

I rolled up to school and walked in with no backpack, Ugg slippers and messy hair. I wasn’t here to learn today. I was here to finally do something.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, too busy crying and getting rides to school and work and home and school again. I didn’t go to school the next day. I don’t remember

My friend Haley still followed Josh’s private Instagram account. She had spent her lunch period in the photo room, printing out screenshots of all the life-threatening texts that Josh had sent me and

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We walked into the counseling office, and after some deliberation with the secretary, we were pointed towards Josh’s former counselor.

By the time the assistant principal told us that the security office might be more helpful, I was done being hopeful. I didn’t care what happened, I just wanted to stop repeating the same story over and over.

I think I cried in the security office. I can’t remember.

I must have been crying when, after what felt like forever, our school police officer called Penn State’s campus security to get a welfare check on a student.

I hadn’t heard from Josh all day, but that wasn’t that unusual. Still, there were a thousand different things that the officers could discover once they busted into his room, and I allowed my mind to go down every possible path as a security guard handed me a box of tissues.

One of the security guards in the room told me that sometimes, high school boys go off to college and can’t let go of the past. I guess that’s true, but it still came off as an uncomfortable dad trying to help his daughter with boy talk.

I left feeling dejected. They said they would call us out of fifth period to tell us when Penn State calls them back, so I hid out in the news room until Haley and I stopped by the office together after sixth period.

Penn State officers had busted into Josh’s dorm room, only to find out that he was fine. The security guards refused to tell me anything else.

That was it. I drove back home feeling numb, turning over everything in my head. I knew there was only one rational way to end the torture, but I simply had no time to compile all of the evidence that would be necessary to file for a restraining order. There was nothing I could do. Josh was fine.

He texted me later that night, saying that I ruined his life by calling the police and that I would regret it. He even told me that I would burn in hell, but I didn’t care anymore. I was at the end of my rope. I was completely undone, nothing like the girl I had been nine months earlier. I didn’t care about Josh, about my newspaper, about my friends or my future. I was out of fucks to give, about anything and everything. I worked at Party City and ignored my teachers during classes and didn’t do my homework and went to sleep at 2 a.m. every night. Josh had drained me of my life, and every time he sent another message it was as if I could physically see my video game character losing energy.

Picking Up the Pieces — December 2016

By December, I had quit my job and was starting to hear back from colleges. I wanted to go to Boston.

Josh’s presence in my life had faded—I still got a text or found out that he had posted about me every once in a while, but he was nowhere near as prominent as he used to be. At least, I thought he wasn’t.

I went to the winter formal by myself, holding up my fat pug for photos, and had a good time with my friends. It was our last all-school, cheesy dance in the gym. We basked in our senior glory all night. I was sporting a huge hickey on my neck from the night before, when my friend’s friend picked me up from the football game and I let him kiss me while I sipped vodka from a water bottle.

My friends and I had a nice dinner at our favorite diner at 1 a.m., and then we met up with Danny*.

Danny had been my date to homecoming sophomore

year. Josh had always hated him. Now that we were over, I could finally see Danny again, after I had been banned from hanging out with him for most of my junior year. I reveled in my freedom.

Cassidy and Haley were snuggled in the backseat when I rolled up to the park Danny asked us to pick him up from. Skateboard in hand, he jumped into my car and gave me that dopey smile that I loved.

I looked in the backseat, at my friends all cozy with my car blanket wrapped around them. I looked at Danny, leaning against his headrest and laughing at something I said. I felt a warm buzz all around me. I felt… happy. For the first time in a while. It surprised me that it took me a little while to register the feeling.

Fuck Josh.

“Let’s do it.”

Everyone jumped out of the car at the same time.

Danny lifted the jar high into the air.

“Stop!” Cassidy yelled. “Zoey’s gotta do it.”

She was right. The already-like-a-movie moment would be more powerful that way. And, it was. I still remember the glass splayed all over the pavement, orange and pink folded up notes already being lifted by the wind.

It was a perfect sight, and a perfect moment.

“What’s this?” he asked.

*** It’s been three years since my senior year. A lot of shitty things have happened to me since then, some even worse than everything that happened since Josh.

But I don’t think anything I’ve experienced in life has changed me as much as that breakup two years ago did. So Josh, if you’re reading this, thank you for showing me that very fine line between “love” and “crazy”.

I sighed. “Something stupid that Josh gave me.”

Also, fuck you.

We talked about the dance, about college, our futures. It was 3 a.m. now, and we were the only people in the world. Danny fiddled around my car, something that I also do whenever I’m in anyone else’s car. He opened the glove box, revealing a glass mason jar filled with notes.

Danny looked at me, still holding the jar. Silence filled the car for a beat and I realized that we hadn’t talked about him all night.

“Fuck Josh. Let’s smash it.”

“Are you serious?” Haley said, popping up from the backseat.

“I mean… why not? C’mon Zoey, fuck this guy. You don’t need this shit in your car.”

I looked at Danny, at Haley, at Cassidy, at the glass jar, at the night outside, at the bug stuck to my windshield.

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Fry Wars story: Sam Cioffi

French fries have always been one of my favorite foods. Just think about them for a second. They come in all shapes and sizes, with many different types of toppings and seasonings.

SoHi Doughby’s

But, do you know where to find the best in Oxford?

Sure, you could go to McDonald’s or Wendy’s, but maybe you’re not in the mood for the typical fast food fry.

Skipper’s

Well, you’re in luck! My roommate and I went to four places Uptown that serve various kinds of fries, and we gave a few a try.

Below I’ll give my thoughts on the overall experience, as well as the fries themselves. I’ll be taking into account taste and whether or not you get the most bang for your buck.

Let’s dive right in.

The First Stop: SoHi My roommate and I made this stop at 2:30 p.m. on a Saturday. This was only my second time being in SoHi, and my first time actually ordering something.

When we walked in, there was only a total of eight people scattered throughout the restaurant. The loud, rock music was immediately one of the first things that I noticed, as it seemed to drown out what little voices could be heard.

I went up to the counter and asked the server if I could get just an order of fries. She asked me what size, and I ordered a large, figuring that I might as well go all in for this journey. The cost of my order without tax was $2.99, with the total price coming to $3.18.

My roommate and I went to find a place to sit down and waited to hear Order #104 be announced.

It took less than five minutes for our fries to be brought out to the counter.

The fries arrived in a black, plastic basket. We were surprised by the large number of fries that came in the order. The amount was perfect for two people.

They were thin-cut and didn’t have much crunch, which is something I personally like when it comes to french fries.

The seasoning appeared to be the most interesting part. There was a little crumb on top of the fries that looked to be a combination of parmesan, salt and

pepper.

The first thing that we noticed upon tasting SoHi’s fries was a slight kick of spiciness, which we both assumed was because of the pepper. The combination of the pepper, salt and parmesan gave the fries a bit of a cheesy taste. The seasoning kept getting stuck to our fingers, making napkins a real necessity.

But, we were not complaining.

Overall, my roommate and I really enjoyed these fries. The fact that they were also served hot added to the whole experience. However, I think they would probably still be good even if they weren’t freshly hot; the seasoning is just that good. I would give these fries a solid 10/10. There was absolutely nothing I would change.

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Second Stop: Doughby’s I wasn’t even aware that this restaurant had anything other than calzones until I was doing research for my french fry hunt. My friends and I have ordered from Doughby’s on multiple occasions, but we’ve only ordered what they’re known for, which are calzones.

In terms of french fries, Doughby’s offers fries in either a box, or as a side. They offer regular fries, cheese fries and two other variations of cheese fries, which are Nacho-Yo-Fries and Bacon O’Fries.

Since I just ordered the “regular” fries at SoHi, I decided to order Doughby’s box of regular french fries. This order cost me $5.49.

there was only one other person placing an order after me.

Loud, heavy metal music blared throughout the restaurant. On one wall, there was a long chalkboard that was covered in random phone numbers and doodles. Under the counter, there was a larger chalkboard with a picture of the Doughby’s logo and writing that said “Thank you for choosing Doughby’s”.

After about 20 minutes, the man who took my order brought my box of fries to the table.

After placing my order at the counter, my roommate and I decided to take a seat at one of the tables and observe the restaurant.

We immediately opened the box, peeled back the foil and found it filled all the way to the top with french fries. They even placed a few packets of ketchup on the outside of the foil.

We chose to go into Doughby’s at around 3:30 p.m. on a Saturday, right after eating at SoHi. Business seemed slow for the restaurant around this time as

I reached for a fry, and then realized that the reason the fries took so long in the first place is that they were being freshly cooked in the oven.

Even before taking a bite, I could tell that these fries were going to be very different from the fries at SoHi. They were much thicker and had only a dusting of salt and pepper.

My roommate and I took a bite and discovered that these fries tasted exactly like what we expected them to. Just a typical french fry.

However, they tasted extremely fresh (because they were), which added to the overall fry-eating experience.

I would give these fries a 7/10. We got just what we ordered, a box of regular french fries. While I liked the seasoning on the SoHi fries much better, I did like how fresh these fries were, as well as the number of fries that come in a box (which is more than enough to feed two people). If you’re looking for a regular, fresh fry, I would recommend Doughby’s.

Third Stop: Skipper’s I’ve probably walked by this restaurant about 50 times, but I’ve never walked in. The only thing I’ve ever associated Skipper’s with are the large beer towers that seem to sit at all the tables every time the weather is nice.

On the Sunday we returned from spring break, my roommate, her boyfriend and I all walked uptown to Skipper’s.

When we walked up, I wasn’t surprised to find no one sitting outside the restaurant. It was one of those spring days that felt more like winter than spring.

The inside of Skipper’s looked nothing like I imagined. I had always pictured a run-down bar-like interior, with limited tables and a sticky floor from possibly spilt beer.

However, this was not the case when I walked in.

While there was a bar located in the back, it was a rather small bar, much smaller than I had anticipated.

There were quite a few tables, given the fact that the restaurant isn’t that large. To the left when I first walked in there was a long counter, which the food was being prepared behind.

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The walls were decked out with sports memorabilia and there were four televisions spread throughout, with two playing basketball, one playing golf and the fourth playing hockey.

I made my roommate’s boyfriend order before me so that I could see how and where it needed to be done (I’m not going to lie, ordering in new places sometimes intimidates me).

After ordering his cheeseburger, my roommate and her boyfriend grabbed a table. I slid down to the end of the counter and decided to order a basket of regular criss cut fries, which I had heard that Skipper’s was known for. My total was $5.31 after tax, with the price of the fries being $4.99.

It only took about five minutes for my order number to be announced.

I walked up to the counter, retrieved my fries and immediately noticed the goldish tint they had.

They arrived in a small, black basket, which was lined with white parchment paper. While the basket wasn’t large, it was stacked relatively high with the large,

waffle cut fries.

One of the things that was different about these fries was the crunch after I took the first bite. These were by far the crunchiest fries that I’d had throughout my entire fry journey.

The fries were extremely warm, tasting like they had just been freshly cooked up. The seasoning was minimal on these fries, with salt being the only thing that could be tasted.

I finished up the basket on my own, even eating the smaller crumbs of fries that remained at the point.

With the basket empty, I could see what made the fries taste so good; it was an excessive amount of grease.

Looking back on Skipper’s fries, I would give them an 8/10. The crunch was unexpectedly different from the fries at both SoHi and Doughby’s. The grease, although there was a lot of it, added to the taste, which would make these fries the perfect late-night food. I would only take points off for the minimal amount of seasoning. However, if that’s something you’re into, then Skipper’s waffle fries do the job.

Fourth Stop: Mac & Joe’s For my fourth and final fry, I decided to try something a little bit different. While searching for restaurants with fries, Mac & Joe’s was one of the options that had popped up. I had only ever heard good things about this restaurant, especially the mac bites.

During my search, I took a look at some of the other things that Mac & Joe’s offered. I immediately came across something that I had never heard of before.

Zucchini fries.

Now, I know these technically aren’t “normal” fries, but I figured that they were unique enough to only Mac & Joe’s that they were worthy of comparison.

So, on a Tuesday evening, I grabbed my boyfriend and we headed to the restaurant.

Finding this place was quite interesting. Before we left, I made sure to ask my roommate where it was located. She told me that it was located down an alley and that it was on the same side of the street as Skipper’s, but other than that, my boyfriend and I were on our own.

Mac n’ Joes

Once uptown, we wandered down one of the alleys near The Den. I was completely thrown off when Mac & Joe’s was nowhere to be found.

After walking down the street a little ways, we discovered that the restaurant was down an alley near Oxford Memorial Park.

This place looked nothing like I expected it to. It was set up in an interesting way, with a pair of main stairs on the inside connecting an upstairs and a downstairs.

We were placed in a booth downstairs, where it was relatively quiet for dinnertime. There were four other tables that were filled, mostly by what looked to be families.

Knowing that I wanted to order the zucchini fries, I looked for something on the menu that would come with these fries. I came across the Sampler Basket, which continued mini corn dogs, mac bites and zucchini fries (which cost $9.49).

us. My sampler basket came in the form of a green basket lined with parchment paper. There were more of the zucchini fries in the basket than mac bites and mini corn dogs.

I was immediately surprised by the amount of grease that came on these fries. Even though it was essentially a fried vegetable, these were probably the greasiest fries yet.

There wasn’t much of a seasoning on these fries, except for maybe a bit of salt.

Overall, they tasted like what I expected. It was a fried zucchini. However, the simplicity of the fries was enjoyable. In the basket, there was a small container of what looked and tasted like a spicy mayo. The fries paired well with this sauce.

I would give these fries a 7.5/10 as I definitely got what I ordered. The zucchini was a nice change from the normal fry, but I think I still prefer fries made from potatoes. If you really want something different, go try Mac & Joe’s zucchini fries.

In about 10 minutes, our food was brought out to

Conclusions If I had to pick my favorite fry from the bunch, I would go with the SoHi fries. The seasoning was like nothing I had ever had before, with the parmesan, salt and pepper combination being unique to this restaurant.

The price was also pretty good, considering the number of fries that came in the large order. These were the cheapest fries, but the order was still large enough for two people to share almost equally.

So, next time you’re in the mood for fries, consider going to any one of these four places. While I had my favorite fry, all of these restaurants still had excellent food.

But, don’t just take my word for it. Go out and give them all a try for yourself!

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FROM THE

EDITORS:

“If you could time travel to any year in the past or future, where would you go and why?”

Kelly McKewin Editor-in-Chief I would probably hate it once I got there because of the noise and the crowds, but I would want to see New York City in the 1920’s.

I’ve read so many books with that setting I feel nostalgic for it, even though I’ve never been to NYC or lived in the 1920’s (obviously).

Zachary Strauss

Brittany Meister

Ben Deeter

Art Director

Opinion Editor

I’d love to travel back in time to the 60’s so I could experience the amazingly fun fashion and music scene for myself.

I would travel backward in time to see the Battle of Gaugamela on October 1st, 331 BCE. This was the final battle between the main Achaemenid Persian army and the army of Alexander III of Macedon, in which the army of the great King of Kings Darius III was utterly destroyed.

I want to go back and see the original Broadway cast of my favorite musical, “My Fair Lady,” perform the show in its first run. I had the chance to see the revival this year, but Julie Andrews and the original cast album holds a special place in my heart.

If I could travel to any year in the past or future I would go to Egypt around 2500 B.C. to see the Great Pyramids of Giza being built because I think it would be amazing to see how such large and breathtaking monuments were constructed.

Emma Roane Photographer

Staff Writer

I would travel back in time to the 1970s to hear Fleetwood Mac perform songs from “Rumors,” one of my all-time favorite albums, because I think it’d be incredible to hear the entire band sing together live.

I would travel back in time to the Mesozoic Era to see dinosaurs in the flesh; it would be fascinating to see if/ how they would be different from the way they’re depicted today.

Lydia Hanicak Photography Director

Emily Dattilo Staff Writer

AUDREY & DYLAN

THE

MEET CUTE

“We met freshman year at a club sailing party that was baby themed. I was wearing a giraffe onesie and made fun of him for being allergic to milk when we all went to get pizza afterwards. We realized that we lived in the same dorm and that we already shared a lot of mutual friends. If you ask him, we officially started dating IN Brick, but I say we decided right outside of Brick to start dating.”

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BHAVYA AND DURGA

“My first year off-campus, I tagged along to a pregame that my friend was invited to. My boyfriend, Durga, was one of the roommates hosting! Their house happened to be pretty close to uptown and soon became the go-to spot after classes and on the weekends. Only ten days into the semester, Durga and I couldn’t deny that there were sparks between us! After 2 years of not knowing the other even existed, we were now in the same friend group, partners on the same dance team, going on vacation, and even moving in together. A year and a half ago, we would never have imagined that in such little time, we’d know we want a lifetime.”

SARAH & TYLER “We are Tyler Shadrick and Sarah Gasdick! We met while Tyler was doing a philanthropy event for AEPi and playing piano. I walked up to him and requested a song and the rest was history, our first date was the week after and we have been dating ever since!”

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LINDSEY & FITZPATRICK “In my free time, I love to volunteer at the nursing home, Knolls, in Oxford. I was there one day and noticed a boy I’d never seen reading out the Bingo numbers. After the game was finished, I walked up to see if he called G3 to start a conversation with this mystery boy. Turned out to be Fitzpatrick Joseph Roddy and the rest is history...”

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SARAH & KEVIN

“We met sophomore year in accounting class and sat by each other because we had mutual friends in the class. Apparently, he had a crush on me and referred to me as “Accounting Girl” to all his friends.

When I found out about his crush, I asked him to my date party and since then, he’s been my date to everything for the past 2.5 years.”

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UNINTENTIONAL ATHLETE

story: Rachel Berry photography: Emma Roane

W

hen she finished sixth place in the four by four race at the state competition her senior year of high school, Faith Baxter had no doubt in her mind that it was her last race. She had run well, made it to state for the first time in her high school career and placed at the state tournament. That is where she would end her running career, as she went off to college, focused on her schoolwork and getting into medical school.

She had already decided to come to Miami, but Peterson was trying to convince her to run track. In early August 2018, she officially committed to join the team.

Baxter doesn’t regret that decision at all.

Instead of getting in the way of her schoolwork, like she initially feared, track offers her an escape.

Baxter has older athletes to look up to who motivate her to do better.

This was helpful in her first race of the year, which was an indoor meet at Bowling Green State University. There were only three or four other teams there, and Baxter was running the 300 meter dash, a heat she didn’t previously know existed. Only one other person was running against her, and it was her own teammate.

That is, until Miami University’s track and field team reached out to her on Instagram.

“Every time I’m on the track and every time I’m at practice, I feel relieved of my stresses, and I just feel “It was our first indoor meet our first college meet, so better,” Baxter says. “When I’m done with practice, everything was scary to us,” she says.

After the meet, all of Miami’s four by four girls it just makes you feel mentally better, and that’s what requested to follow Baxter. you need is something to keep that balance.”

Looking back, Baxter doesn’t know why she was so nervous. She ran the next weekend at the University Then, a few days later, she got a DM on Instagram As a chemistry major, Baxter spends a lot of time of Kentucky with even more fans watching and 40 from the coach, Russell Peterson. Peterson said he doing schoolwork and has had to learn to work people running the 400 meter dash with her, yet she was at the Ohio state meet, and he was so impressed ahead and prioritize. Especially when she has to write was so much more confident than she was during with Baxter’s performance that he knew he wanted a report, she spends every spare moment working on that smaller first race. her on his team. homework because she is gone every weekend for meets.

These two races were indoor, something she had It’s not common practice for coaches to DM players, never run before coming to Miami but learned to Baxter said. She had been getting letters in the mail She spends two to three hours a day practicing, love since being here. She still looked forward to the all year from other schools, many of which she had completing a combination of running and strength beginning of outdoor season, though, in early April. never heard of, who wanted to get her on their training. Between this and the meets every weekend, team. Miami was the first division one program that Baxter spends most of her time with her teammates.

Starting as a high school athlete adamant she reached out to her. wouldn’t run in college, Baxter overcame nerves to “I’ve never had closer friends before,” Baxter says. discover a world she loves.

“I didn’t really think much of them,” Baxter says “They’re all very supportive, and we all motivate each about the letters from colleges. “Actually, when I got other.”

“I don’t regret [joining the team] at all because that’s them in the school year I threw them away because I where the bulk of my friends are, and I just really didn’t know I was going to run.”

Being on the four by four relay has given Baxter enjoy doing it,” she says. mentors. The other girls are juniors and seniors, so Sports | 27

“The Horse Bug” Equestrian Team Rekindles Student’s Love of Horses story: Rachel Berry photography: Laura Dudones When senior Sarah Kingsbury decided to join the club equestrian team at Miami University her freshman year, it had been six years since she had taken riding lessons.

Kingsbury began riding lessons when she was 8 years old but stopped as she grew older due to scheduling conflicts with other sports. After she was accepted to Miami, she decided to attend the equestrian Miami Bound program, a time where first-year students can move in a few days early and dedicate a few days toward a certain topic and meet others with that shared interest before school starts.

This experience rekindled her love for horses and made her decide to join the equestrian team.

“If you have the horse bug, it’s terminal,” Kingsbury says.

She never saw herself riding in college because she had taken a break for so long. A lot of the other girls at the Miami Bound program rode every day and even owned their own horses. Kingsbury, in contrast, had never shown horses before.

“I was so nervous before I started again because everyone is so good,” Kingsbury says.

However, Kingsbury learned there are divisions for riders of all skill levels and was told sometimes the team has a high need to recruit beginners to fill the lower levels. This solidified her decision to join the team.

The equestrian team is split into four skill levels: first

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level, upper, lower and intro. This year, the team has about 120 girls, which Kingsbury says is an all-time high.

Kingsbury is in a number of other organizations but said being a part of the equestrian team is by far her favorite thing she’s done at Miami.

The larger team is broken down even further by each girls’ discipline: either dressage, western or hunt seat, which includes the jumping that people typically associate with horse shows.

“It’s like the answer to a prayer that I didn’t even ask for, I didn’t even know I could ask for really,” she says.

Kingsbury rides dressage, which involves going through a set of patterns called tests.

“It’s like a dance, and you and your horse are like partners,” Kingsbury says.

Higher-level dressage riders stay with the same horse for a number of years, so they form a relationship and know how that horse operates. Miami’s team doesn’t travel with horses, so when they go to shows, they use the other team’s horses. They are not given much time with the new horse before they are expected to ride it in front of the judges.

“It’s very hard to figure out in 10 minutes what is this horse like [and] how do I make him listen to me,” Kingsbury said. “In [Miami’s] program, we have about 58 horses, so you ride a lot of different types of horses, and so you can say ‘Okay this is like soand-so who I rode earlier this week,’ so it gives you a good skill set.”

The team has shows two or three weekends each semester. When they do have a show, they’re gone for about 12 hours a day, as they have to arrive at the barn early to feed the horses, wash them, braid their manes and set up the ring.

Although she had never shown horses before coming to Miami, Kingsbury wasn’t totally disconnected with the equestrian world. She has volunteered at a therapeutic center for the past six summers. This center provides riding lessons for children and adults with disabilities ranging from down syndrome and autism to extreme motor disabilities where they cannot hold the reins or sit up on the horse without help.

Kingsbury loves the ability to be around horses and also help people at the same time.

“It gives people a sense of authority,” she says.

“It gives them a sense [that] even if I can’t control anything else, I’m controlling a thousand pound animal, and that’s pretty cool.”

Once she graduates, Kingsbury will attend graduate school at the University of Iowa. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to take riding lessons there, but she does know she wants to stay involved with horses in some capacity, whether that means eventually owning one or continuing to volunteer in the summertime. “[Horseback riding has] just made my college experience unforgettable,” Kingsbury says.

THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF STRESS & MENTAL ILLNESS story: Zachary Strauss Stress almost always comes along when you leave for college. It is seemingly always there, creeping along and watching you. It comes closer when mistakes are made or there are setbacks in progress and it pulls you down even more. One way someone might attempt to deal with stress is to put themselves in scenarios where they are better prepared for what they are dealing with; so, for example, in college, studying might put you in a better position and lead to less overall stress.

Yet, this act of strategic preparation is not always so easy. Stress is not the only thing which haunts the dark alleys of the human mind. There is another watcher, one of many types that acts under a broad name: mental illness. For me, these manifest in clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder.

For most of my stress, there is a very simple line of logic. The mental illnesses which I (and many other people) deal with are inflamed by stress, yet they are also the main causer of stress. A combination of mental illnesses and stress leads to not studying, not studying leads to poor performance, and poor performance leads to stress. You can repeat this as many times as you see fit. My base mental illnesses do not help the stress, they only exacerbate it. It is difficult to put yourself in a position of strength through preparation when it is hard to begin much of anything, especially when considering academia. We 30 | Opinion

can be conscious of the problem, even be conscious of how to remedy it, yet when action is needed, there is a distinct lethargy toward movement.

Why is this? Some might say that this is due to laziness, that a person does not wish to work toward something, regardless of how positive the outcome.

There is, however, an issue with this claim. The issue is that laziness is not a direct result of will or a lack of willpower. One could decide to not do anything, sure, but many people do not choose to be lazy.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression can cause “feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism…decreased energy or fatigue…[and] difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.” In turn, pessimism might lead to feelings of “Why should I do this?,” decreased energy to “I cannot do this,” and difficulty concentrating to “I can’t focus enough to do this.” All of these symptoms might lead to being “lazy” in some people’s eyes, yet none of them would be the direct result of a conscious effort to be lazy.

Furthermore, many college students must maintain a job while continuing to be a full-time student and have a social life. There are only so many hours in the day, and sometimes one of these three things must be neglected. However, when one of these is neglected, the outcome is often more stress. Neglecting classes

means poorer performance; neglecting your social life means loneliness; neglecting working means no money for food. These, too, all lead to further stress, and as we have talked about, stress aggravates mental illness.

Miami does have resources to help with some of these issues. For example, there is the Student Counseling Service, although it does not always have the people to help. It is very difficult to get in for consistent treatment, as they simply do not have enough therapists and counselors. There is also the Student Disability Service, which helps many people on campus with all sorts of issues. People can get help for depression there, too; however, to enroll the services you need to have proof from your doctor.

This may not seem like much, but for someone with depression, it very well can feel like a lot of work.

So much work, in fact, that many may not be able to do it.

There seems to be no perfect answer for people.

University is by its nature stressful, and with so many people stricken with mental illness, it seems as though many are just barely holding on or keeping their heads above the Aegean. Some people simply drown. As a community, it is the duty of everyone to be understanding of the circumstances we all find ourselves in, and maybe we can throw each a life vest.

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Maybe you’re shocked no one has written about your (fill in the blank).

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Maybe you just want to get published.

Whatever your maybe, let the team of MQ know!

We love hearing all the different stories tucked around Miami’s campus.

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story: Kelly McKewin

THE POWER OF QUIET

G

rowing up, I was often labeled the “quiet kid” or described as “extremely shy” by my teachers when my parents went to parent-teacher conferences each fall. At a very young age, this was a strange source of pride for me—every grown up I knew always seemed to love quiet kids, so of course I wanted to be quiet. Quiet kids never got in trouble at school, because we didn’t yell in the hallways or talk during silent reading time or get into arguments with the teacher. In many ways, being quiet seemed like a fast track to academic success back in elementary school.

That feeling didn’t last very long. By third or fourth grade, the “You’re so quiet!” comments I often heard had gone from being neutral, if not slightly positive statements, to things that were tacked on to the end of other compliments, as if it were a negative aspect of my personality.

“She completely understands the material, but she’s so shy she never raises her hand,” teachers would tell my parents.

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“You’re really fun to play four square with at recess, but you’re always too quiet,” other kids would sometimes tell me on the playground.

I started to get the feeling that being quiet wasn’t something I was supposed to be proud of. Sure, it was appreciated when our class was taking a test or my grandma had me go to church with her, but the rest of the time, people seemed to like people who talked. The kids in the lunchroom who talked the most had the most friends. Teachers seemed to favor students who were smart and actively participated in class. Even watching family members strike up conversations with strangers at grocery stores or while traveling made me realize talkative people have an easier time making friends.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with social anxiety.

In many ways, finding that out made me feel even more like there was something wrong with my quietness, at least initially. It was as if someone told me I was so quiet, I wasn’t even functioning the same

way normal human beings were supposed to—you’re not supposed to feel utterly terrified while ordering food at restaurants or before an ordinary, normal phone call to your best friend of 10 years? That was news to me. But at the same time, even before I started therapy, I had a suspicion that even if I could completely magic away the social anxiety, I would probably still be a quiet person.

It’s been a few years now and I realize more and more as time passes that that suspicion was spot on. I have a slightly better handle on my anxiety now than I did at the start of college, but I am just as quiet as I have always been. And I truly don’t have a problem with that. I enjoy being quiet, and not just for the reasons I enjoyed it as a kid—people don’t praise me for this personality trait anymore, but it feels authentic to who I am and I like going through life as silently as possible because it makes sense to me. I process things better when I can think them through without talking and I have found in so many scenarios that listening, more so than talking, is a very valuable skill to have.

Silence is good for us. It forces us to slow our thoughts down, to be present where we are.

As I’ve accepted this part of my personality, it’s also made me realize that being quiet is an underrated trait in general, particularly in the fast-paced life of college. Heck, even as a usually quiet person, I don’t often enough fully appreciate the power of silence in my own life.

Think about it for a second—when was the last time you sat in complete silence? Not semi-silence or a kind-of quiet, where it’s noiseless in your bedroom, but you’re also sort of eavesdropping on your roommate in the kitchen or listening to a rowdy crowd of people walk outside your apartment or hearing the muffled theme song from “The Office” coming from the dorm room next door.

Furthermore, when did you last seek out absolute quiet? We—and I’m incredibly guilty of this, too— spend all day inundating ourselves with noise. We wear headphones on the way to class, listening to music or podcasts. We turn on Netflix to have “background noise” while we study or hang out with friends. We go to Pulley or Starbucks to do homework instead of the library, just to hear the bustle of people around us. Not to mention the

digital noise we’re constantly surrounded by—most of us probably keep our phones on silent most of the time, but every slight buzz or vibration is a reminder that there’s a text or tweet or post ready to break the silence in our heads.

It’s not entirely our fault that we’re like this. College means we’re all busy, and being busy usually correlates with being noisy, or at least surrounded by noise. But while there’s no way to completely shut the rest of the world up all the time, we should all make more of an effort to seek out quiet in the few moments when we can.

Silence is good for us. It forces us to slow our thoughts down, to be present where we are. When there’s no outside noise or outside distractions, you have to focus on yourself. You end up paying more attention to the way you’re feeling in a particular moment. You also have the opportunity to think through an entire problem or issue that’s on your mind: so often, the internal monologue in my head will go “I’m stressed!” but then get distracted by a song lyric or conversation because I can really give myself the opportunity to think about why I’m stressed or how I can relieve it.

Silence, by nature, encourages quiet contemplation

about such things.

It can be scary to practice this kind of thing at first.

Being alone with your thoughts can feel vulnerable, and often uncomfortable, because we’re not used to thinking about the things that are bothering us in such depth. Even for an introvert by nature like me, it’s not easy to put away my phone and shut off the outside world for a few minutes, because my mind is so used to the noise I’m always surrounded by.

But every time I manage to do it, I always end up happy I did so. I sometimes figure out the answer to a problem that’s been bothering me, end up feeling more in tune with my surroundings or simply come away feeling a little more calm in the middle of a busy week. No matter the case, my exercises in quiet always work to my benefit.

Challenge yourself the next time you have a few minutes alone to find a place where it’s absolutely silent, and resist the temptation to break that silence when it starts to feel awkward. There’s a quiet kind of power in being quiet, if you just take the time to listen for it.

Think about it for a second—when was the last time you sat in complete silence?

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MIAMI WI-FI PRESENTS PROBLEMS

story: Emily Dattilo Sophomore Hannah Montgomery sits at Garden Dining Hall accompanied by a plate brimming with barbeque chicken, green beans and tater tots.

She chats with her friends about the recent college admissions scandal involving Lori Loughlin, or as “Full House” fans know her, Aunt Becky.

Then, the conversation turns to Uncle Jesse and John Stamos, so Montgomery taps a few words onto her iPhone screen and waits.

And waits some more.

She’s just trying to determine how old Stamos is, but the Wi-Fi isn’t working. Eventually, the page loads and addresses her question (Stamos is 55 years old).

But these technology problems aren’t limited to Montgomery alone. Sophomore Zach Osha refers to the Miami University Wi-Fi as “hot garbage.”

He signed up his phone and laptop for the “MUGAMING” network to avoid the perpetual problems on the main networks, “MU GUEST” and “MU WIRELESS.” It costs $48,000 a year to attend Miami for nonOhio residents. And according to the Miami website, “MU-WIRELESS delivers the highest speed and greatest capacity and is encrypted to protect your 34 | Opinion

communication.” But with 17,000 students, along with professors and other faculty, hopping on and off the network all day long, that doesn’t always happen.

Students complete homework all day long, so Wi-Fi connecting and staying connected is critical. Every time it disconnects, Google Docs takes a moment or two to reload, and sometimes, work might disappear in the process.

At Miami, everything academic-related runs on a strict time clock. Assignments are due at specific times on Canvas. Quizzes are due at particular times, both in and out of class.

And in typical college fashion, lots of students find themselves turning in assignments at last minute and running the risk that faulty Wi-Fi will result in a late assignment.

Sophomore Anna Krisko says that working in Farmer can prove to be really frustrating.

“In the basement, my phone literally has no signal, so I’ll put it on Wi-Fi, but every time I lock my phone, I have to re-connect,” she says.

In between those homework assignments and essays, social media use runs rampant. Checking Snapchat or scrolling through Instagram typically provides

a short, attainable study break. Except when those study breaks become unattainable.

Unfortunately, on the “MU-GUEST” network, Snapchat doesn’t load, and Instagram doesn’t refresh.

For most, it saves time and irritation to turn off WiFi and use data.

This might seem counterintuitive, considering WiFi is free and data costs money. But usually, the frustration of waiting for those four bars to appear in the top left corner supersedes the data cost.

Miami’s website suggests resetting network settings to “forget all wireless networks” if Wi-Fi connection problems arise, and IT services provides a 24/7 online chat option for technology problems and solutions.

Back at Garden, Montgomery remembers that John Stamos recently got married to a woman much younger than himself, but she can’t recall her exact age. Laughing, she figures it’s probably going to take another five minutes to find the answer.

Curiosity gets the best of her, so she types in her Google search and waits for the page to load.

And then waits some more.

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