MACUHO August 2012 Issue by Matthew Le Brasseur

From the desk of the MACUHO President,

Inside this issue:

Hello MACUHO! I hope you are having a fantastic transition from the summer months as we start to enter August, and we open our times of training, and openings. I wish you a nothing but successful and safe openings around the region. During the ACUHO-I Convention in Anaheim, CA, I got a chance to attend the Regional Presidents' meeting and had an opportunity to represent the Association alongside Joe Russo, our Vice President. Our Association is in great shape and have slowly established ourselves as one of the national leaders when it comes to all of our hard work with the area of technology, and strategic planning. Several other associations have taken a look our work and have turned to us for a standard of how others can learn and grow from their processes. During this important time, I am happy that our Association is celebrating a major milestone by turning 40. Starting in 1972, in American University, we have come a long way, and transitions through much change as well! But one thing has never changed, our strength in our membership. Every time I have had a chance to meet new people through my experiences, both young professionals and seasoned professionals, it is clear that our Association is filled with passion, friendships, and most of all love. With all these wonderful things in our Association, it is absolutely critical that we continue the next 40 years with the highest level of quality of service for our membership. Please think about joining our MACUHO â&#x20AC;&#x153;40 for 40â&#x20AC;? Campaign which is now available on our website at http:// www.macuho.org/?acuhoifoundation. This is our opportunity to raise funds for the ACUHO-I MACUHO Endowment that has been created to support programs such as the Lisa Pierce V.I.P. Program, the ACUHO-I Talking Stick, NHTI, and many other wonderful initiatives through ACUHO-I and MACUHO. I am putting a personal challenge out for MACUHO to raise $10,000 for the year. This is an unprecedented effort for our Association, as we normally try to raise $1,000 during our Annual Conference. Very rarely, we have

Linking counseling practices with Supervision

page 4

A Tale of two RELI Graduates

page 6

GPS: A Road Map to Mentoring

page 7

Summer Meeting Recap

page 8

Meaningful Findings

page 12

ACUHO-I Reflections

page 14

WV Campus Visitation Program

page 19

Fight or Flight?

page 20

Summer @ Shepherd University

page 23

Magazine Editor

Matthew Le Brasseur

Magazine Editor

Debbie Scheibler

MACUHO President

Shigeo Iwamiya

The MACUHO Magazine is created and developed by the MACUHO membership. All contributions are from MACUHO members or our sponsors.

an opportunity to achieve greatness, and our Association continues to strive for excellence. Leading up to the November 2012 conference in Baltimore, MD, I hope you join me in this campaign to secure our future of our association. And finally, for those of you that participated in the Philly Exchange, NJCORE, or even the MACUHO Webinar by Dr. Patrick Love, I thank you for your continued support and dedication to our association. I look forward to hearing about all of your amazing starts to your school years, and I look forward to seeing everyone in Baltimore in November. Happy August everyone!

Shigeo J. Iwamiya MACUHO President, 2011-2012 2

s housing professionals, we all come from

different academic backgrounds and disciplines and bring a variety of different experiences to the table. Some pursued degrees in higher education or student affairs, while others chose a different route. My background will be in counseling, as I am currently pursuing my Masters in Counseling in Educational Settings. As I pursue the program, I can’t help but relate the teachings back to my job as a Resident Director. After all, both counseling and residence life are helping professions. I have created ten tips for paraprofessionals and professionals alike, some more applicable to one or the other. For those who are just entering the world of residential supervision, I hope you find these particularly helpful.

Tip 1: Kill Em’ With Kindness! If you have ever confronted one of those crazy incidents, you know that residents will take their anger out on you. As a supervisor, you will probably not be dealing with this aggression at the scene, but it could very likely carry into your judicial hearing. It is important to maintain your composure and not meet the resident with the same intensity. Keep an

the floor. It will feel weird at first, but with practice, it will become second nature!

Tip 4: Why you shouldn’t ask Why Asking anyone why will automatically put them on the defensive because they feel like they have to explain themselves. Even if the student was in the wrong, you should be playing a non-judgmental role, so the why question doesn’t really fit. For example, in judicial meetings, you can gather the information you want by asking questions such as “Could you share your side of the story?” or “Could you share what some of your motives were for doing that?”, instead of “Why did you bring alcohol into your room?”

Tip 5: Everything Matters- Even the Furniture It’s true. The environment in your office can really set the tone for anyone who comes in to speak with you. I know that oftentimes staff will decorate the office. Try to arrange these decorations in a way that will not be distracting to students that may be in your office for a judicial hearing. If at all possible, try

forward from their present situation. For example, relate the actions of a student who was involved in an incident to their future career goals. This helps them take ownership of their past actions, in addition to their decision-making processes for the future.

Tip 8: Jump into Their Shoes A key element in understanding a student is trying your best to understand their worldview or the way that they perceive the events in their life. This goes along with your responsibility as a supervisor to be non-judgmental. If you can’t quite understand a piece of what a student is saying to you, ask questions. Try not to assume what the student means. It may not sound like soap being left in a shower is a big deal, but it means the world to that resident who comes to you upset about it.

Tip 9: Keep Your Cool There will be times when you are going to want to get mad, or sad, or flustered. Try your best

So,

How Does That Make You Feel? Linking Counseling Practices with Residential Supervision By: Stephen Fleming, Rowan University

even tone and ask questions. If you notice unusual behavior such as a lack of eye contact or uneasiness, ask how they’re feeling in that moment, which opens up a whole other set of information for you to work with.

to arrange your furniture so you have no physical boundary between you and who you’re talking to. This promotes much more open communication. Also, try to place a clock in view behind the person who you’re speaking with so you can keep track of time without having to look at your watch.

not too. Since you are the supervisor, there are a lot of people looking at you in times of crisis or stress. So, for example, if one of your RAs can’t find the master key to the building, don’t yell at them right away. That doesn’t help the situation or the people involved. It will simply add more stress.

Tip 6: Mediations are a Group Effort

There’s no bigger turn off during a meeting than making it seem that the person you’re meeting with is wasting your time. Whether you just want the meeting to be over or you’re really looking forward to your lunch, make sure you give that person your undivided attention. During one-on-one meetings with Resident Assistants (RAs) or judicial meetings, turn off your computer monitor and silence your office phone. Maintain your eye contact and whatever you do, do not look at your watch! This conveys one of two things to the other person; either they feel rushed because you seem to be concerned with time or they become offended and shut down for the remainder of the meeting.

Whether you are working with freshmen or upperclassmen, I can almost guarantee that a group mediation with three or more people will come up at some point during the year. If you find yourself facilitating or co-facilitating one of these, remember that group mediations should be a group effort. Start by asking each person to explain how they have been affected by the problem at hand. Then, try to link what one person says with another person. Ultimately, if you can imagine a web of lines between the students, you want to create multiple lines of communication between each student. This allows you to put the mediation on cruise control as the students begin to interact with each other on their own. In the end, the solution should be agreed upon by each student involved.

Tip 3: It’s All About Posture

Tip 7: Take a Holistic Approach

Just as your focus on the student conveys a sense of interest in what is being said, so does your posture. Try to sit up straight, turn towards the other person, and keep your arms uncrossed and your feet flat on

In your conversations with troubled students, try to help them see the larger picture. Help them reflect on their academics and where they want to go from here. Helping the student look at the “here and now” can help them understand how they can move

Tip 2: Stay Focused

Tip 10: Take Care of Yourself! Personal wellness is paramount to anything else. If you aren’t healthy, you can’t help others. So whatever it is that you enjoy doing or need to do, be sure to make time to get it in your schedule. This profession can throw a lot of curve balls at you very unexpectedly, but if you manage to keep yourself healthy, you will be able to handle those surprises.

A conversation opens up so many opportunities for development and as housing professionals; we have quite a few of them. Whether your conversations are with a staff member, a student, or a supervisor; think of these tips and try to incorporate them into your daily practice. Counseling does wonders, and the great thing about it is that you’re usually doing it without even knowing you are! Young, M.E. (2009). Learning the art of helping: Building blocks and techniques. (4th ed). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.

A Tale of Two RELI 2012 Graduates As two third-year, entry-level professionals set new goals in their professional growth, they sought admission into the 2012 MACUHO Regional Entry Level Institute. Twenty-eight diligent professionals were chosen to comprise this year’s class. Cohort members from NECUHO and MACUHO regions traveled to Towson University in Maryland for a 50-hour intensive training on various dimensions of leadership within Student Affairs, specifically Housing and Residence Life. While participating in sessions addressing diversity, leading change, accountability and crisis management, two participants from two different residence life structures realized they learned much more than what was on the agenda. Jessica Fred, Residence Life Coordinator from Rutgers University Before attending the MACUHO Regional Entry-Level Institute (RELI), a superior of mine pulled me aside to congratulate me on being accepted into the institute as well as to warn me that I probably would not get anything out of it as I was just about to finish my third professional year in the field and supervising staff. This made me nervous as I was looking for professional development that would take me to the next level of my career in student affairs. After this 50-hour institute, I can honestly say that while I know that my superior meant well, this person was mistaken. I’ve gained a wealth of knowledge on how to be a better professional now and how to get to the next step, whatever that may be. The content at RELI hit on so many aspects of Housing and Residence Life including managing multiple priorities and how to manage above and below you. What I gained was so much greater than just the elements above. I left RELI so inspired and ready to start my journey to the next phase of my career. My

Jessica Fred, Rutgers University & Tara Carter, Morgan State Universality

confidence in the quality of my work has increased since this institute. I realized the things that I was right on target with and learned how to make myself better in other aspects. Even if I had known everything that was taught at RELI, which I did not, the networking that occurred is priceless. I left with new colleagues and friends who I know I will see and work with again someday. I left with the contact information of many possible mentors that I can turn to over the years as I grow in my career. Tara Carter, Resident Director from American Campus Communities at Morgan State University. To truly understand the impact the MACUHO Regional Entry Level Institute had on me, one would need to understand that I was in a full state of “Residence Life Burn-out”. I was extremely exhausted and if I heard another RA’s voice, I would scream. As an off-campus Resident Director, I sought admission into RELI for the purpose of developing my professional skills beyond the “on the job” training that I was receiving. RELI rejuvenated my passion for student success, helped me realize that good was my worst enemy, and fine-tuned my professional skills. My amazing faculty mentor encouraged me to do a lot of self reflection prior to the institute. I reflected on my professional growth, work/life balance, and my career aspirations. These areas of focus assisted me in really sifting the information given throughout RELI. Attending RELI gave me the opportunity to gather valuable information from entry-level colleagues and experienced faculty. I am the only student affairs professional at my student housing

complex. This made me feel extremely vulnerable during my residence life burn-out. There is no one that I work with who can understand the crazy residence life I live. RELI gave me the opportunity to professionally develop, but most of all, to realize I was not alone. I gained a network of 28 peers and 10 mentors that I feel extremely comfortable turning to about anything. After all, helpers need help too and campus politics encourage us to turn to others aside from our campus peers for our “Ijust-need-to-vent” moments. I left RELI with a renewed passion for Residence Life. I have a focused career plan, a list of learning objectives for myself, and colleagues who understand my world. I took away many points that will be used in my professional life immediately. Some of those are (1) when a time of a crisis ends, take time for myself, (2) do not blame “Past-Tara” for the professional growing pains, and (3) I was encouraged that job-hunting takes time so start searching early. Another lesson I am taking with me is that even though I function alone in my off-campus position, I have a supportive network from RELI to share my professional journey with me. Closing Thoughts: The Regional Entry Level Institute offers its participants information beyond the basics of dealing with students. The faculty truly cares about the success of Student Affairs’ future leaders. We would recommend this institute to anyone with a true passion for student affairs. We also have started encouraging current colleagues that are eligible to apply next year. RELI is an amazing, nonstop 50 hours that really can make a difference in your thinking and motivation level. Every entry-level professional should apply for this amazing opportunity.

eflect back to the moment you realized you

wanted to pursue a career in student affairs. Who were the people that supported and motivated you through the process? What did they do to inspire you and why were they so integral in your decision to embark on a path through this unique field?

Mentoring got us to where we are today. It was former supervisors, administrators, and peers who showed us what this field has to offer. A mentor is like a GPS, he or she provides direction and support, while the mentee (the driver) is responsible for getting themselves from point A to point B. Occasionally, the mentee may steer the car off course, but the advisor is there to “recalculate” them back on track, as well as provide tough love. A mentor-mentee relationship is a partnership and while a mentee should always feel comfortable utilizing mentors, they should not constantly rely on it or abuse it. If you want a good sense of direction, sometimes it’s important to put down the GPS.

It is the responsibility of the mentor to set the framework of the mentor-mentee relationship. From the beginning, your actions will set the tone for what is to come. One of the most vital steps is setting expectations. We recommend setting the tone and effectively communicating your expectations during your first meeting with your mentee. You are there to guide them, provide constructive feedback, and support them as they make tough decisions.

Here are some expectations you can have for your mentees: The mentee has control over how the relationship develops and how involved you become in their process. It is expected that they will be open and honest about their expectations for you. The mentee is in the driver’s seat and is responsible for any successes or bumps in the road that they may encounter. As mentors, we will not write resumes or cover letters and cannot be the voice in their heads during an interview.

be prepared to make a few edits and hear some constructive criticism until they are confident they are ready for the job search. If the mentee is not satisfied with the relationship, they should feel comfortable addressing their concerns with you. As the mentor, you should also feel comfortable and able to communicate your concerns with your mentee.

Things that you can do to prepare your mentees: 

Review resumes and cover letters



Facilitate mock interviews



Shadow for a day in the office



Review job descriptions and relate it to work or leadership experience



Develop skills to make them more marketable



Share your knowledge, your experiences, and the current trends in the field



Encourage them to join professional associations and become actively engaged



Connect them with additional resources (e.g. career center, colleagues with similar experience, etc.)



Bring them to a job placement conference



Provide direction for graduate school

We know we would not be where we are today without the guidance of our mentors. As mentors, we have the opportunity to shape the future of our student leaders and also grow as professionals. One of the most valuable aspects of mentoring is its cyclical nature. At any given point in your professional career, you may be a mentee or a mentor, or both. Sharing what you have learned and gained from a mentor can be invaluable to your next mentee.

Throughout our experience, mentoring has kept us rejuvenated and current and has by far been one of the most rewarding student interactions. Please feel free to contact Colleen at cfreund@drew.edu or Anne at agreenip@ramapo.edu should you have any questions or comments regarding our article.

We will give the mentee all the tools they need for success. It is important that the mentee comes prepared with questions or other items that need to be reviewed, but also that they understand your busy schedule and respect your time. The mentee must always have an open mind, be willing to learn thier faults, and learn how to market their strengths. We want our mentees to be the best they can be, so they should

(G)uiding (P)rospective (S)tudent Affairs Professionals GPS: A Road Map to Mentoring Colleen Freund, Drew University, & Anne Greenip, Ramapo College of New Jersey

that evolved from the Table 2 study. Themes were cross-referenced in Portrait Comparison various sections of the Focus Groups research survey and themes were crossCharacteristic referenced between the research survey and the focus group data. Race Participants indicated Sexual (closed-ended Orientation questions) and Gender discussed (open-ended Age Range questions in the Geographic research survey and the Region focus groups) similar Degree Obtained ideas, thoughts, and feelings about their professional Student Affairs development Roles experience. CrossYears in Student referenced themes Affairs were categorized as (a) Years in Current self-direction, (b) Role supervisor/institutional Supervisor support, (c) future need, and (d) meaning of professional development. Table 1 provides a visual of the cross-referenced data and triangulation of data for the research study.

The following article is based on data from a dissertation study conducted at the Center for Education at Widener University. MACUHO, along with ACPA, allowed the researcher to access the study population through the organization’s e-mail list. The author is indebted to MACUHO for their assistance. Individuals who wish to access the complete dissertation study may contact the author at jds0128@me.com. Background and Methodology The purpose of this study was to investigate entry-level student affairs practitioners’ perceptions of professional development and their involvement in individualized professional development opportunities within the student affairs field. The literature review explored the founding of student affairs, a historical review of student affairs, development of professional competency standards, professional development within student affairs, and professional development programs for entrylevel staff. The researcher utilized a mixed-methods approach to the research study using a research survey as well as asynchronous focus groups. The data were analyzed to discover the thoughts and feelings of entry-level staff on their professional development experience. Quantitative analysis was limited in this research study so as to focus on the qualitative nature of holistic inquiry and inductive analysis of the data. The data provided a story of how entry-level student affairs practitioners’ perceived and were involved in professional development.

Population Portrait Table 2 illustrates a comparison of the participant characteristics of the research survey and the focus groups. The portrait analysis provided ten

The research study revealed data triangulation in a number of categories and themes

Table 1 Triangulation of Data Points

Data Between Research Survey and Research Survey

Focus Groups

Caucasian Heterosexual

Female 25 – 30 Mostly East Coast Master’s Degree

Female 25 – 30 From across the USA Master’s Degree

Mostly Residential

Variety of Roles

Three

Less than two

Less than one

Mostly Director Level

characteristics of the participants of the research study. Of the ten characteristics, participants of both the research survey and the focus groups shared seven of the same characteristics. While the focus group had a wider representation in student affairs roles and in geographic locations, the participant characteristics demonstrated a consistent population for this study. This similarity in samples between the research survey and the focus groups supports the validity of the research study. Meaningful Findings

Data Theme

Self-Direction Support Future Needs Meaning of

Closed-Ended Questions

Open-Ended Questions

Association Questions

Focus Groups

✓ ✓ ✓ ✗

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

✗ ✗ ✓ ✗

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

Note. The check mark (✓) indicates the theme was included in the designated data; the x-mark (✗) indicates the theme was not included in the designated data.

“I think professional development needs to be a priority of the profession, not just individuals, meaning institutions need to provide the support needed to ensure that there are professional development opportunities” (Focus group participant FG13). The researcher begins with this quote because it summarizes one of the most meaningful findings of this research study: entry-level student affairs professionals, while satisfied with their overall professional development and access to professional development, individually lack general knowledge on how to create effective professional development plans. Entry-level

Meaningful Findings: Results of a Dissertation Study on Entry-Level St

practitioners felt positive about their overall professional development activities, but lack knowledge, knowhow, and structure in how to formulate these professional development activities into a comprehensive professional development plan for growth and development. Additionally, while participants of the study were able to identify aspirant roles, they were unaware of how to achieve the appropriate competency development to rise to these roles effectively. In discussing professional development plans (Table 3), participants were asking for (a) more information and guidance on how to create effective plans, (b) the need for encouragement in creating a plan, and (c) the pros and cons of a formal plan over an informal plan. Participants saw professional development planning as being “other directed” instead of being “self-directed,” even though the participants see the importance of being selfdirected day-to-day in professional development activities. There was a demonstrated disconnect between professional development activities and a comprehensive plan for future growth and aspirant roles. Participants showed a lack of knowledge on how to create a plan and expressed a desire to see other practitioners’ professional development plans (PDP). A small number of participants indicated that participating in the research study had motivated them to pursue a PDP. Participants who examined the concept of a formal versus an informal PDP were split between feeling it was important to have a formal, goal-directed plan and the need to allow for an informal process. Conclusion on Research Findings This research study provided new literature on the need for competency development on how to effectively plan for professional development and aspirant roles. The study provided concrete information that can assist the student affairs field in (a) creating opportunities to educate entry-level professionals on the importance of professional development, (b) effective professional development planning, and (c) intentional planning to achieve professional goals and aspirant roles. This study forms a foundation on the needs of entry-level practitioners yearning for clearer direction in creating professional development planning. With this data, the student affairs field through graduate preparation programs, national professional organizations, and direct supervisory

Table 3 Creation of Professional Development Plans (PDP) Theme

Frequency

Need Information/Guidance on How

Encouragement to Create

Formal or Informal Structure

relationships can provide structured guidance to entry-level practitioners in developing a solid definition and meaning of professional development. While the three other meaningful findings are important results of this research study, the fact that recent studies also discovered these items in foundational ways refutes them as new research findings. Nevertheless, the researcher maintains that these findings continue to be crucial items to consider in developing effective professional development environments for entry-level student affairs practitioners. The ability of entry-level student affairs practitioners (a) to be effectively self-directed, (b) to be provided appropriate levels of direction in a supportive field, and (c) to be able to early on identify competency needs to achieve aspirant roles creates entry-level practitioners who are engaged in the student affairs field and mentored into talented mid-level and seasoned professionals. These three findings are important factors in maintaining and retaining talented young professionals.



Development of a Competency Resource Book (based on the published ACPA/NASPA Competencies, 2010)



Annual Conference Programs on Developing Professional Development Plans

Each of these recommendations could enhance the professional development environment in the student affairs field and could assist in retaining entry-level professionals in the field as well as assist the field in succession planning for senior level positions. Information and data for this article was from a dissertation study titled, Understanding Entry-Level Student Affairs Practitioners’ Perceptions of and Involvement in Professional Development in the Student Affairs Field, © 2012 John D. Stafford, Ed.D.

Implications for Future Practice and Contributions to the Field The researcher of this study made the following recommendations for future practice based on the data from the research study (the recommendations are explained more in-depth in the dissertation):



Creation of a National Database of Student Affairs Mentors



A National Resource Center for Entry-Level Practitioners



Adoption of a Professional Development Course by All Graduate Preparation Programs

tudent Affairs Practitioners and Professional Development By John D. Stafford, Ed.D.

Professionals and Para-professionals in the state of West Virginia are pushing beyond the borders of their own institutions to network, engage, and learn about best practices at their neighboring institutions. The West Virginia Campus Visitation program, initiated in Fall 2011, provides those in Housing and Residence Life a wonderful professional development opportunity to learn from those in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia! Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an RA at WVU or what the programming model is like at Marshall? Now you can experience and participate in these processes first hand. The campus visitation experience is designed to be open to the needs of the participants and institutions. That being said, it is our intention that participants will be exposed to some of the following opportunities: Explore the field of housing from within an institution outside your own employer. Meet and establish relationships with employees, creating a network of professionals and para-professionals through the state. Learn operating procedures and seek solutions to problems on your own campus. Engage in activities on your visiting campus to enhance both experiences. Connect with potential mentors from host institutions forming mutually beneficial relationships. Several professionals and student staff have already taken advantage of the opportunities within the state with much success. Josh Belice (pictured

Visitation program in fall 2011. "I thoroughly enjoyed having the opportunity to visit West Virginia University through the Campus Visitation Program. While there, I was able to learn about their programming model, security measures, retention efforts, etc. through direct, hands-on experience. I went on nightly rounds with the RAs and Josh Belice, Shepherd University, and Stephanie Hurley, Marshall University, are observed how all smiles after a great day filled with idea exchanges on Marshall’s Campus. they dealt with numerous situations. Although their program was similar to ours in many ways, it was also very different in certain areas. Because of these differences, we were able to learn from one other and share valuable tips and suggestions that would later help us succeed in this position. This experience helped me to gain a deeper understanding of the position, and also prompted me to consider higher education as a future career path. Through participating in the Campus Visitation Program, I was able to broaden my perspective on housing and residence life programs, gain networking

West Virginia Campus Visitation Program below), from Shepherd University had the opportunity to visit Marshall University in Fall 2011. Josh reflected on his experience, noting that, “Marshall had a fantastic itinerary for me. My day consisted of a one-on-one with Director John Yaun, a tour of campus with two graduate students, and the opportunity to meet with Victoria Lamont and Nate Hensley, Assistant General Managers of First Year Residence Halls. The coordinator, Stephanie, also had me attend the weekly Hall Director staff meeting and she spent time going over Marshall’s programming model. Overall, the experience was invaluable and worth the six hour treks across the State” Marshall University RA Erin Hensley also participated in the WV Campus

opportunities, and more importantly, learn how to push myself to be the best resident advisor that I can be." For those interested in participating in the program, applications can be found at http://simpleforms.scripts.wvu.edu/resed/MACUHO/. Once you have completed the application, West Virginia regional coordinators will work to set up an experience that is meaningful for you. Placements will be made and host institutions will reach out to their visitors to work out visit details. The experience is open to the needs and wants of the host institution and the participant! Individual experiences, including the dates of the visit, are open to the discretion of those participating in the placement. Your WV Regional Coordinators will be happy to assist in the details of creating this experience, but anything goes! Please note that the Campus Visitation program is available to all Housing and Residence life staff – this includes students! While the program was originally intended for visits within West Virginia, placements have been made between varieties of institutions both inside and outside the state and we are happy to assist you in whatever way possible! For more information please contact your WV Regional Coordinators: Stephanie Hurley Marshall University (304) 696-3193 Hurley16@marshall.edu

RAs from Marshall University and Shepherd University pose for a quick picture during an Oktoberfest Program on Shepherd’s campus.

Eric O’Hara West Virginia University (304) 293-4901 EMOHara@mail.wvu.edu

served simply as avoidance strategies – they did not help me address the stress in my life in an effective way.

ll of us deal with varying levels of stress in our lives. And

especially in our field when working with students, this stress often bleeds into our personal lives. For those of us who “live in” as I and many of us in Residence Life and Housing do, this effect is even more powerful. There are various ways to cope with stress, and many of us are aware of them – they include “oldies-but-goodies” like getting outside for some air, enjoying some time in the sun, spending time with other people, and so on. Like many people, I am aware of these tips yet have often found myself not following them properly. Instead I tended to use less effective “fightor-flight” responses to stress: FLIGHT This is basically any strategy in which I would avoid the stressor(s) at hand, even if only temporarily. Here are some of the more frequent flight methods I’d use: TV. I’d say to myself, “Maybe an episode of 24 will relax me.” But no, it didn’t....I was distracted, yes, but nothing about my stress level was

So, I added FIGHT strategies by doing uplifting things such as: Spending time around nature and animals. One of my high school teachers once asked my class to share what comes to our minds when we’re stressed. Some said they thought of the beach, others said they recalled past camping trips, while others mentioned activities such as fishing. It was a revelation to my young mind when she pointed out that all of our escape fantasies shared a common denominator: nature. I recently recalled this moment of enlightenment and decided to incorporate it into my daily life. People laugh at me for this, but I was known to talk to trees as a child. So I decided to reclaim my affinity for trees and greenery by visiting parks and botanical gardens more often, and buying plants for my apartment. Oddly, I also wave at and say hello to dogs in the street as if they were people, which I enjoy doing as long as their owners don’t mind or think I’m crazy, and as long as I don’t let myself get too frustrated that I can’t have a dog of my own in my current living arrangement. Listening to soothing music. Having dabbled in playing the piano as a child, I find classical music primarily featuring the piano works best to calm me down during stressful times. Writing. I have always enjoyed writing, as well as the research and planning that goes into it. To that end, I’ve made a vow to keep writing, even if I have no specific writing project assigned to me – I can do it just for myself.

De-stressing Techniques: Fight or Flight? (Or Fright?) Becky Falto, Stevens Institute of Technology

really changed. And a small part of me was now worried that one of my pleasant co-workers might be a mole or go rogue and betray me and everyone in our department. Spending time with those close to me. “Wait,” you’re thinking, “isn’t that a recommended stress management technique?” You’re right, it is – but it depends on what you do during those encounters. I inevitably wound up venting about my stress, saying things like, “Can you believe what happened to me today? I was so annoyed!” Focusing on my stressors not only continued their negative effects on me, but it added to the stress levels of the people who kindly suffered through my stories! Mindless web surfing. I’d think, “Maybe I’ll just look at Facebook for a bit for fun...oh look, Amanda made a ham sandwich today...oh, and Jonathan posted saying he’s confused, I wonder about what? Why didn’t he specify? Let me message him....wow, look at Sara’s vacation photos, what lovely flowers she saw in that garden, I want to go to a place like that ......wait, two hours have passed since I logged in?!?! WHAT?!?” Spending time doing activities like this, with nothing tangible to show for it afterwards, often added to my stress while other important tasks were left undone. Heck, even people claiming to have lost time due to being abducted by aliens at least had a good story to tell! What did I have, stories of people’s lunches? Video games. My usual thought process went something like, “I’ll distract myself for a while before dinner.....YES! I made it to the next Angry Birds level! Hey, is it really 10:00pm? Where did the night go?” This is pretty similar to the mindless-web-surfing-and TV-effects mentioned above, but more confusing since I’d feel a strange sense of achievement at my apparent success, until I realized it was in an area with absolutely no viable use in real life. Definitely not a worthwhile reason to throw off my schedule! As you can see, these strategies offered little in terms of de-stressing myself; they only left me tired and with less time on my hands, and

Rest and relaxation. I am a firm believer in getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and also in taking my allotted vacations days. I am surprised by how many people don’t do either, and even proclaim this as a badge of pride and a testament to their strong fortitude. I think it will catch up to them at some point, but even if I’m wrong, I know myself and I do need that time to recharge. Overall, these “fight” techniques all help to uplift me and, to use an expression I recently heard, to “refill my well.” That’s why they’re more effective at fighting stress for me than the knee-jerk “flight” responses that only avoid the stress, with nothing more meaningful to help me out of the stress ditch. However, I’ve recently come to realize that, for me anyway, there is a third, additional type of response that helps me get to the root cause of my stress at the moment: FRIGHT. But I use that word loosely - let me explain. I don’t mean the kind of fright I’d get by subjecting myself to watching horror movies until I require a night-light to go to sleep. That would be counterintuitive. No, I define this strategy as fully facing and embracing what intimidates me or makes me anxious – instead of avoiding the stress or engaging in healing activities afterwards to recover from its effects, it involves facing fear head-on to take the power out of it before it spirals and grows. Case in point: a few years back, there were rumors going around my place of employment at the time regarding upcoming layoffs. After hearing this, I found myself very worried and scared that I might be one of the ones let go. I didn’t want any of us to have to go through that but being human, my main concern was for my own situation – you know how we tend to magnify our own problems! Endless anxieties would pop up in my head about it, at all times of day. I went on feeling stressed like this for a couple of weeks until one day I suddenly had an epiphany; I still remember that moment vividly. I was crossing a busy midtown Manhattan street when I suddenly thought, “So what if I get fired? Would it kill me?” And of course I realized the answer was no. It wouldn’t be great, but I’d survive; either another job would come along, or I might have to make some lifestyle changes such as living with family while I got back on my feet. But either way, my life would not be over - it would just be a temporary setback. Ironically, in the end, the layoffs never even occurred – so here I’d been stressing myself out for really no reason! After that, I realized that sometimes we truly are our own worst enemies.

Somehow, this way of thinking had never occurred to me before, but since that time I have used this “so what?” strategy to confront my fears often and I marvel at how basic it seems looking back. Why hadn’t I done this sooner? Sadly, I see many people who still do not employ this approach. If you can relate to this, I encourage you to face what frightens you. Thinking “so what?” in response to it isn’t a defeatist way of thinking and will not cause you to stop caring; rather, it helps you realize your fear is not stronger than you and also allows you to think through your options so you’re better prepared if your fear does become a reality. There’s another indirect, more subtle version of the “fright” approach that I’ve come to find helpful in managing my stress – trying new things. I mean more than just the often-heard recommendations of doing things differently each day, like working with your non-dominant hand or walking home a new way each day. Sure, those activities may be good for the brain, but for me this has never resulted in a significant stress-reduction or change in my outlook on life. I’m instead referring to getting out of my comfort zone - doing things I’m curious about but am nervous about trying, or that I already know I’m not likely to be good at. I’d heard the benefits of doing so countless times but had never really tried it. Let me give you some examples: I have never been artistic; I can still recall one of my elementary school teachers sighing in frustration when I showed her my progress (or lack of it) on the class’ assigned art project that everyone else seemed to be having no trouble with. “Here, give it to me,” she’d said with a tone of exasperation I couldn’t understand, then showed me how to glue cutouts to the poster board by putting the glue on the back of each cutout. I’d been putting the glue on the poster board and getting upset when I’d guessed incorrectly as to the size of the cutouts and how much of the area needed glue; my cutouts were swimming in a sea of excess glue all around them and my soggy board looked nothing like my classmates’ neat collages. It’s a silly example from a time long

since past, but is one of my clearest memories of the lack of artistic ability I have demonstrated throughout my life. Curiously, though, lately I have found myself being drawn to painting and admiring artists around me. I used to think, “gee, I wish I could do that,” but recently I decided, “so what if I’ve never seemed artistic? I’m going to try painting anyway!” First of all, there’s always a chance that my lack of ability in certain artistic areas may not be true in painting. But if it is, so what? I want to embrace doing things for the sole (or soul) enjoyment of the process. So, I recently ordered an inexpensive art kit (made for children, really...but that’s appropriate for my artistic age level) and am eager to get it and start using it. I feel that if I nurture my soul and follow my interests of the moment, I’ll be happier and in turn, in a much better place to handle the stresses of daily life. Plus, I’ve heard that embracing creativity in artistic outlets can help your brain devise new solutions to problems in life – so if that happens with my painting, that will further help me reduce my stress levels and would be the proverbial icing on the cake! There is another tried-and-true method of stress management out there that I encourage you to try – the art of finding balance. I seek as much balance as possible each day. Beyond making sure to get enough rest or avoid taking work home with me, I also try to find balance in the following ways: Stating my true opinion on a topic when necessary, especially when asked for it. Betraying your true self is one of the biggest stressors – and one which occurs all too often. I never realized how much energy is spent, and in turn how much stress is created, by internalizing our true thoughts and feelings by only saying and doing what seems to be “right” in the eyes of others. Instead, we need to balance the side of ourselves that we show others with who we truly are. So, I choose my battles, but if I believe strongly about something, such as a process that could be improved for example, I’ll share that feedback constructively with peers and supervisors. Being honest, even if it involves my own shortcomings. This basically means being authentic with others and ties in to the point above. In the past, I’d worry if I

De-stressing Cont’d

it out; as dishes were dirtied, she’d wash them – all while joking and chatting with her guests along the way. To some, these continual efforts could sound stressful, and there is something to be said for letting go and enjoying the moment. But you need to take into account not only the present moment, but anticipate your future needs and then balance both – she later said she knew she would feel down once the party was over, and it would be worse if she had mounds of cleaning to do. By knowing herself, she devised a way to balance her enjoyment of the party and be a good host with efforts to minimize the stress she would feel after. This taught me that it really pays to figure out your unique stress triggers and plan for them to avoid the snowball effect that can occur when they are allowed to build over time. To this day I think of her when I get tempted to let the laundry slide again!

mentioned not having gotten to a certain project, or not knowing how to complete a certain task. But I simply can’t dance around an issue; I find honesty works best. I’ll say, “I’m having a hard time grasping this program, would there be any way to get additional training on it?” or “I haven’t been able to get to project Z due to working on project X and Y still – could I have more time?” That kind of honesty is liberating, and I find supervisors especially appreciate it as well, as opposed to strategies others might try by saying they did start a project when they really haven’t, then missing a deadline. Sure, we all want to look good in the eyes of our employers, but to do so I find you need to balance your successes with honesty about areas where you could use some help or guidance.

Thinking of not only my stress, but the stress of those around me. That may sound counterintuitive – you may think, “why would anyone want to add stress to their life?” but in reality, thinking of and helping others often causes you to realize that you’re not alone in coping with the daily stresses of life. It helps you see the world in a more balanced way – that we’re all facing similar struggles and feelings. For example, I often feel a bit depressed when I return to work after a nice vacation away. It has very little to do with my job – I like it and the staff. But I can’t help but miss the change of pace and scenery I’d enjoyed on vacation; my day-to-day life and to-do lists pale in comparison! So, I once joked with friends that it would be nice to come back to work to find flowers and a sign saying “Welcome Back” on my desk. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they liked my idea, so I decided I’ll try it on my next returning-from-vacation coworker. This will be a great way to brighten not only their day, but also my own – a win-win stress-reduction technique!

Regularly working on tasks that I dislike so they don’t build up. The perfect example of this in my own life is laundry. Too often, I’d let it build up since I knew I have enough of everything to last a month or two – but once that time passed and I had to do the laundry, I’d be stressed and upset by the very “do-it-later” system that I’d thought was such a good idea! And, ironically, after taking hours and hours to catch up on it, I’d postpone it for just as long the next time, not wanting to face it after the ordeal I’d just gone through. “I hate this!” I’d think to myself resentfully as I balled my millionth pair of socks and folded the endless stack of clothes. It’s a silly (and a bit embarrassing) example to share but it applies to almost everything – keep up with things on an ongoing basis, especially whatever you find most unpleasant, and you won’t be as overwhelmed and stressed by them later on. And in the event that something happens where you truly can’t keep up with that task (let’s say you get the flu), you’ll be all right for a while since you’d been making steady progress until that point.

Overall, the main point I’m trying to make is that stress management is an important, necessary part of life since we will always face stress. De-stressing can be done in a variety of ways – some more effective than others. You owe it to yourself to investigate what works best for you, and I hope these examples and suggestions help you along the way!

To some, this approach seems very basic; some of you may even be reading that last tip thinking, “who doesn’t do that?” But I have to say, there are so many often-overlooked ways of applying that approach and I encourage you to define what version of this tactic would best suit your needs and temperament. I first noticed this principle at a young age when I went to a birthday party of a fellow student in my junior high school. The party was attended by many children and parents, and I saw that the mother of the birthday girl managed to interact with everyone and make them comfortable while consistently neatening up and organizing at the same time. As garbage built up, she took

Do you have an interesting story for the MACUHO Magazine? Would you like to see your company’s information in the MACUHO Magazine? Have you always thought about writing but never knew what to do? Are you a photographer or graphic designer and want to showcase your work for all of MACUHO? For more information contact us at magazine@macuho.org

Summer at Shepherd University Lacey Carnahan Oklahoma State University When I arrived for my summer internship at Shepherd University in West Virginia, I was not really sure what to expect. What is residence life like at a small university? How is the campus culture different? What will the staff think of me? Coming from a larger university in a different region (Oklahoma State), I was extremely excited for my new “adventure” out east. However, I was still hesitant about what the experience would bring.

My nerves were quickly eased as I made my way to work on the first day. I stayed in one of the newer apartments on campus and even the walk to work was beautiful. Shepherd has an incredibly nice campus. Not only were the people in Res Life friendly and welcoming, but they were inclusive and helped cue me in on the “ins and outs” of life in West Virginia. For example, I had never heard of such a thing

called a “Stinkbug.” However, I was quickly informed not only what they looked like but that if and when I saw one, I should resist my natural urge to squish it. Apparently, crushing a Stinkbug would serve no other purpose than to fill my apartment with a strong, unpleasant stench.

The residence life staff as well as the summer conference assistants immediately adopted me into their family. Every day I would learn new things, not only about the culture here but about how residence life at Shepherd operates on a daily basis and the conferences that use Shepherd’s Halls over the summer. It was a great experience, and I am so thankful for the opportunity. I will have much to bring back with me to Oklahoma including valuable learning experiences as well as great friendships from the awesome residence life staff at Shepherd

University!