is for those who divorce. But loving families do something that safeguards their trust and friendship, even though they make mistakes: They treat each other with generosity and graciousness. Be generous in what you offer to your loved ones. Offer them “gifts” that make them feel safe and special in your presence, even if offering their preferred forms of communication, affection, or attention feels awkward for you. And be gracious when responding to the “gifts” your loved ones offer to you, even if the
offering is not exactly what you wished for. If we are to stay the course and remain stressresilient at work and at home, we must find ways to keep our marriage and family relationships healthy; doing so is the ultimate act of heroism.✦ Wayne and Mary Sotile serve as keynote speakers and as consultants to hospitals and medical practices.The Sotiles can be reached at: 1396 Old Mill Circle, Winston-Salem, NC 27103; Phone: 336-765-3032; E-mail: wsotile@attglobal.net.
Hennepin County Medical Center (HCMC) is one of the major teaching hospitals in Minnesota. Continuing Medical Education (CME), formerly known as the Office of Academic Affairs, was established at HCMC in 1983. The mission of HCMC's CME Program is: "to provide organized, planned education activities to help physicians improve delivery of medical care." FALL CONFERENCES:
September 15-16 Advanced Life Support in Obstetrics Location: HCMC, Minneapolis October 5-6 Annual Forensic Science Seminar Location: HCMC, Minneapolis October 6 Electrocardiography for Primary Care Physicians Location: Earle Brown Heritage Center, Brooklyn Center November 2-4 Annual Orthopaedic and Trauma Seminar Location: Minneapolis Convention Center November 3 A Global Affair: Caring for Immigrants and Refugees Location: HCMC, Minneapolis
Will be held in conjunction with the HCMC/MMRF (Minneapolis Medical Research Foundation) fundraising gala: A GLOBAL AFFAIR: CARING FOR A CHANGING WORLD on November 4, 2000 at the Minneapolis Marriott Hotel
November 10 Annual Minneapolis/St. Paul Diabetes Forum Location: Radisson Conference Center, Plymouth December 8 Ninth Annual Family Practice Update Location: Sheraton Inn Airport, Bloomington We would like to hear your comments and suggestions for future CME activities! For More Information
Be Generous and Be Gracious. There are no perfect people. There are no perfect marriages or families. Along the journey that is a lifetime marriage, we make many mistakes; we encounter many disappointments; and we regularly fail to please those we most love. This is just as true for thriving medical couples as it
MetroDoctors
Hennepin County Medical Center Continuing Medical Education 701 Park Avenue, Mail Code 861-B Minneapolis, Minnesota 55415-1829 email robin.hoppenrath@co.hennepin.mn.us
The Journal of the Hennepin and Ramsey Medical Societies
612-347-2075 Fax: 612-904-4210 Toll Free: 888-263-4262
2000 CME @ HCMC
Remember: It’s never too early nor too late to make your marriage better. When the American Medical Association asked us to revise our book, The Medical Marriage: Sustaining Healthy Relationships for Physicians and Their Families, we did so with glee. Not only were we excited about the compliment of the AMA’s endorsement; we were also anxious to add to our original manuscript a chapter on marriage in the second half. Responses to our “Dancing in the Empty Nest” chapter have, indeed, proven the point that it’s never to late to rejuvenate your marriage. Once the kids are grown, medical couples face new opportunities and challenges. The second half of marriage is a time to look back with pride on what you have done and what you have endured; to forgive each other for mistakes you’ve made; to find new ways to spend time together; to dis-inhibit your sexual relationship; to renew your friendship; to establish new levels of nurturing companionship with your grown children; and to notice and express appreciation anew for all that your partner does and has done for you and your family. But you don’t have to wait until retirement to enjoy variations of these relationship-boosters. Even during the busy, child-rearing, careerbuilding days of your journey, be sure to regularly carve-out islands of time to attend to each other. The emphasis here is on “regularly.” For example, we often advise busy medical families that, in terms of constructing a healthy marriage and family life, it is far better to take 20, two-day “vacations” each year than it is to take two, 10-day vacations. For a family to stay healthy, they must regularly take “recess” together. You need to frequently show each other your playful, joyful sides. Counterbalance your tendencies to work, worry, or teach your children with many, brief periods in which you simply be present, be playful, and be attentive. Remember: We fall in love with people who make us laugh; we stay in love with people who make us feel safe enough to come out and play.
September/October 2000
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