Mississippi Christian Living: November 2023

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NOVEMBER 2023

Ben & Cammie Derrick Their ‘obedience whirlwind’

● How to raise a godly blended family ● Fall fashion for unexpected events

contents

NOVEMBER 2023 VOLUME 18, NUMBER 6

PUBLISHER

MS Christian Living, Inc. EDITOR

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com ART/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Sandra Goff SALES

STEGALL IMAGERY

Teresa Howell

As Ben Derrick navigates a major career change, he and Cammie have had to trust God — and protect their marriage — at new levels. See page 16.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Even in leadership roles, “we are to look to God for direction as eagerly as a working dog in her environment,” columnist Chris Bates says. See page 8.

Chris Bates, Samuel Bolen, Shay Greenwood, Courtney Ingle, Tameka Johnson, Kenya Kimball Rafferty, Dr. Teena Welborn COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

columns

Stegall Imagery DISTRIBUTION ASSISTANTS

8 Outside In Working dog leadership

Rachel and Nettie Schulte, Jerri and Sammy Strickland, Rachel and Bob Whatley

11 Modern Motherhood How to raise a godly blended family

12 Health & Wellness A combat strategy for diabetes

14 This Is My Story Hope Blooms after a stroke

27 Community Outreach

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed.

All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2023 by MS Christian Living, Inc.

28 Living My Call How adopting a teenager changed my life

33 Faith, Fashion & Fitness Fall fashion for unexpected life events

cover story

in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 34 Quips & Quotes 34 Advertiser Index

16 Ben & Cammie Derrick Their ‘obedience whirlwind’

feature story 24 Service and sacrifice 2 Mississippi authors share their stories

Coming next month MCL’s Christian Leaders of the Year

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Mischelle Vining’s Hope Blooms flower farm has thrived in the unlikely soil of a stroke, a frightening diagnosis, and a pandemic. See page 14.

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39 years,

EDITOR’S LETTER

On climbing trees and learning to rest

M

y first memory of a tree involves climbing one. A plum tree grew in our backyard in Dardanelle, Arkansas, and while the fruit didn’t thrill me, the tree did. I was happier

Climbing the plum tree in our backyard in Dardanelle, Arkansas.

pulling myself up into those branches than I was trying to make friends in my kindergarten class.

I grew faster than the tree did. By the time we were preparing to move to Russellville, the bigger town across the river, I was in second grade, and “climbing” the plum tree accomplished little.

Our Russellville home, the one I grew up in, was bordered by pines — not exactly climbing trees — but I took opportunities where I could: family hikes on Mt. Petit Jean, high-school field trips to Lost Valley State Park. If I saw a tree or a person-sized rock that looked climbable, I was on it.

We moved a couple of times after I graduated high school. Our yard in the Phoenix suburbs consisted of pebbles, and the lemon tree in the back was productive but would barely hold a cat. I contented myself with “climbing” (hiking) to the top of Mt. Humphreys near my first college campus in Flagstaff.

When we moved to Mississippi, our home boasted a bodock tree out front. The bodock provided a challenge, finally, for my gangly 19-year-old limbs: I could climb up to a short height, and then all the handholds disappeared. Then it was all about how much nerve you had, either to scoot out onto a certain branch, or to step delicately onto another, at an incline, with nothing to grip onto but air if you fell.

Turns out, I didn’t have that much nerve.

I kept climbing in Oxford, sometimes onto the roof of the campus library (OK, all I had to do was step through a window), but mostly metaphorically: I climbed onto the literary magazine staff, into the honors college, into the provost’s office (we attended the same church). All the branches were reachable.

Then, in a British literature class, my hand-holds vanished. Religious debates with classmates left me angry and defensive. By the next semester, I had

6 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

spiritual vertigo — yet I insisted on continuing to climb. I even chipped away at the very branch that held me, as C.S. Lewis would say, by arguing with God. I didn’t climb many literal trees that year, though it would’ve done me some good. Instead I sat under the shade of trees and cried while listening to music. I parked my car under the live oak in front of my rental and wept while the Christian duo in the CD player sang, “Can anything satisfy/ When nothing has satisfied?” I sat on a bridge in the woods behind Faulkner’s house and listened to Bono belt out somebody else’s conversion story in “Beautiful Day.” I didn’t climb any trees in those woods. I don’t know if I even looked up.

Eventually, that miserable year became my conversion story. I quit trying to climb my way to intellectual certainty once I realized I’d never get there and didn’t need to.

Some trees are clearly intended for climbers. Others, well … A few weeks ago, Stephen and I were relaxing on a patio in Jackson, and I felt an almost unavoidable desire, at a genetic level, to climb the magnolia next to us. But that tree, a queen even among the pines and live oaks, was not for climbing.

Instead — much like the trees in Eden, or the tree on which God’s Son died, or the Tree of Life in new Jerusalem — she offered shelter and shade to whosoever.

So I didn’t climb. I rested.

Must-reads in this issue: ● Our cover story on Ben and Cammie Derrick’s “obedience whirlwind” after Ben stepped away from pastoring to enter the mental health field (page 16)

● Mischelle Vining’s story of how her flower garden gave her hope after a stroke (page14) ● Kenya Rafferty’s story about adopting a 19-year-old (page 28) Y

Katie Eubanks Ginn katie@mschristianliving.com

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 7

OUTSIDE IN by CHRIS BATES

Working dog leadership

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here are few things as intense and impressive as a working dog in the outdoors. On one

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opening day, my black Labrador retriever turned to me with that intense gaze to see which direction I would send her for the first retrieve of the morning. In a split second, her look conveyed anticipation and determination, yet it also yearned for direction, guidance and permission. That moment reminded me that a key part of my opportunity as a person is to provide direction, guidance and approval to those around me.

You will not hear me claim to have lived without significant mistakes or major challenges as a business leader. We as Christians are promised a happy destiny but not an easy journey. Our work lives hit roadblocks and trials, whether by a downturned economy or any multitude of reasons. We face challenges motivating employees, tough ethical monetary decisions, and cutthroat competitors.

Sometimes it looks like hard choices, desires to take shortcuts, and feelings of burnout. In my career, I have been consistently inundated with difficulties.

Admittedly, I have chosen wrong at times amidst many successes.

How do we live out Christian principles within our careers? Our greatest challenges are also our greatest opportunities, if we choose for them to be so. Admiration from those around us is most honestly earned through transparency and example. Therein lies the opportunity to be God-directed and reflective.

It is easier to simply bark orders. I worked for those types of managers early on, and I did not admire them, nor was I internally motivated. But if guidance and direction are the goals, should we not first live daily as God would have us, and in turn lead others by example and help them down their own paths? This is the tougher way to work and live in our highly secular work world.

In “The Case for Christianity,” C.S. Lewis said, “This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people.” God grants opportunities to each of us every day to be

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Columnist Chris Bates with his recently deceased “super amazing fur lady,” Julep.

a vessel for His message. The problem is that too often we miss them. While I believe the best of us are partners to our family members and colleagues, we are also called to something more.

The role of a workplace leader is not to be oppressive. Rather it lies in the opportunities that the role often gives us.

We are to look to God for direction as eagerly as a working dog in her environment. Luke 12:48 tells us, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” We are responsible, then, to live by both example and transparency, and to work as God designed spiritual leaders. Y

Chris Bates is CEO and co-founder of AgoraEversole a full-service marketing agency in Jackson, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraEversole.com. He and his wife, Stacy, and their children live in Madison.

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MODERN MOTHERHOOD by DR. TEENA WELBORN

A TALE OF THE CHRIST

How to raise a godly blended family

B

lended families are common today. Whether we have adopted

children or have married someone with children, blended families should always focus on a consistent path to follow God’s plan.

These children come from different backgrounds and need stable godly standards for their success as well as the sanity of the family’s daily routines.

Children should know God and His purpose for them. That means they should “daily” witness a godly example through us as parents, step-parents or adoptive parents.

The world wants to tell us that what happens behind closed doors is our business, but I am not a believer in that worldly/secular view. Children are leaving the church at alarming rates because they are seeing two different Christian examples.

They “see and hear” at church, and they “see and hear” at home. It’s confusing, so they leave the church because they don’t know the truth.

Research tells us that 8 out of 10 youth from evangelical Christian homes walk away from their faith by the age of 23 (Brown, 2006). That’s shocking! There are tons of scriptures that support parents so we know what is right and godly. These are some of my favorites: ◼ “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”

– Ephesians 5:4 ◼ “Now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” – Colossians 3:8 ◼ “Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.”

– Proverbs 4:24

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In a study by Lifeway, here are some characteristics of children that parents listed as indicators that they were parenting well: ◼ Has good values ◼ Finds success in life ◼ Graduates from college ◼ Lives independently ◼ Has faith in God Only 9 percent of parents listed faith in God as being important. In my opinion, the list could have been:

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◼ Loves God ◼ Feels the love of God ◼ Follows God’s plan for them ◼ Knows their godly purpose This can happen when the children witness the love of God and obedience to our Heavenly Father “inside the home.”

If the parents are living worldly and secular lifestyles, it is confusing for our future generation.

Remember, 100 percent of our happiness comes from God. Let us continue to pray for our children, our family unit, and that we as parents are acting in a way that is a witness to our children. Let’s be a godly Christian couple inside our home, especially with adopted and stepchildren who might have come from different or unstable backgrounds. Y

Dr. Teena Welborn is a retired educator and author of “Raising Whosoevers to Be the Heart of Our Schools.” Dr. Welborn and her husband of 37 years, Cliff, live in Florence, Mississippi, where they raised their three boys. They are members of First Baptist Florence. She can be contacted at tlmwelborn13@gmail.com. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 11

HEALTH & WELLNESS by TAMEKA JOHNSON, RDN

A combat strategy for diabetes

D

id you know diabetes is one of the fastestgrowing chronic illnesses in the world? Did you

production is ineffective, inadequate or impaired. Diabetes is classified into five types, all requiring different levels of treatment. know more than 35 million Americans have been Second, we defend ourselves from the onset of diabetes by diagnosed with it? This means 1 in every 10 people you encounter modifying our modifiable risk factors: have had to learn how to wisely manage their glucose or blood To reduce the risk of developing diabetes, recommendations sugar daily. You probably know include managing weight within loved ones whose lives have been healthy ranges for your individual changed by diabetes. So how is it needs, completing at least 150 Did you know diabetes is one of the fastestthat we have not learned to slow minutes of exercise each week, and growing chronic illnesses in the world? Did you consuming balanced nutrients to diabetes’ grip on our society? know more than 35 million Americans have If we were going to plan a include heart-healthy fats, lean strategy to defeat an opponent, we and plant-based proteins, and yes, been diagnosed with it? This means 1 in every would take certain steps. Let’s take 10 people you encounter have had to learn how well planned, nutrient-rich that approach to create a strategic carbohydrates. Because to wisely manage their glucose or blood sugar plan to decrease diabetes in the carbohydrates are converted to daily. So how is it that we have not learned to United States. glucose the quickest, it is slow diabetes’ grip on our society?

First, we identify the opponent: important to pay attention to Diabetes is a condition in portion sizes, cooking methods, which blood glucose (blood sugar) and type of foods consumed. is too high due to insulin not functioning properly. Insulin is Third, we create a combat strategy on how to manage diabetes produced in the pancreas and helps unlock cells to allow glucose if it develops: to be used for energy or stored as needed. With diabetes, insulin Treatment plans should be individualized. Your medical provider creates a plan based on your circumstances. Ineffective insulin production could become effective again with improved diet and exercise + adequate amounts of physical activity. Inadequate insulin production can be enhanced with oral medication that improves effectiveness by assisting the insulin that is still produced, in addition to diet, exercise and physical activity. Impaired insulin production requires injectable insulin.

This helps manage blood glucose levels and should also be conjoined with recommended diet, exercise and physical activity to prevent further complications related to poorly managed diabetes.

The best strategy to combat diabetes is to stay alert while working on prevention and remember to encourage at-risk individuals to practice healthy habits consistently. Here are some

other steps we can take: ● Prepare meals in advance. ● Find the right portion size based on your metabolic needs.

● Consume healthier foods, the more colorful the better. ● Get screened for diabetes regularly. The older we get, the more frequently we should get screened. Y

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THIS IS MY STORY by COURTNEY INGLE

Hope Blooms after a stroke Mischelle Vining — a physical therapist and gardener with an infectious faith, a genuine love for people, and a smile that lights up a room — has cultivated a life of serving others. When a stroke threatened her livelihood and revealed a bleak diagnosis, Mischelle put all faith in God. Years later, she is pouring hope into others through her flower business, Hope Blooms. She recently shared her story with MCL Contributing Writer Courtney Ingle.

Courtney Ingle: Did you always dream of opening a flower business?

Mischelle Vining: No, but I always had a flower garden, everywhere I lived. My mother taught me and my six sisters all about gardening. But in 2012, I had a stroke, and it changed everything.

CI: Were there any warning signs before your stroke?

MV: I have a brain stem angioma that, at the time, I didn’t know I had. It started bleeding, which is what caused the stroke.

But I didn’t know I had had a stroke until I saw my doctor. I had been dealing with fatigue, loss of balance, and coordination issues … I’d fall. I knew from being a physical therapist that something was going on.

“I always had a flower garden, everywhere I lived,” said Mischelle, pictured here working on flower arrangements.

one bed to keep myself busy … and then it grew. (It) kept growing, and I had so many flowers that I just started giving them away, and I started selling some from my flower cart and front porch.

CI: Did growing these flowers give you hope again?

CI: How has Hope Blooms continued to bring you hope?

MV: Last year, my mother passed.

Gardening (has) helped me grieve.

People don’t realize how connecting with nature, with what God created, can be so healing. I’ve been able to grow flowers, and I’ve wanted to call her and tell her about it — but I know she’d be proud. Especially of my roses, since she always had a hard time growing roses. But Hope Blooms has been a blessing. Y

CI: But you still have this angioma?

MV: Yes, and it isn’t operable. If it bleeds, it can cause another stroke, or I could go to bed tonight and not wake up. (But) I don’t live in fear. I know God has me.

CI: Have you recovered from the stroke?

MV: I still have most of the symptoms, but the worst after the stroke was fatigue. I had no motivation to work in my garden. I’d walk outside and see everything dying and just not care. I didn’t have joy in it anymore.

I was just so tired and so frustrated.

CI: How did you get that motivation back?

MV: During COVID, people were gardening and planting things, and we had this open field that my husband said we’d never put anything in. So I asked him for

and special requests as well. We now have a subscription service, a flower club … people buy a subscription to it in the fall and have fresh flowers from April to August.

God was so good at that time (during COVID). For once, I had purpose again.

(And) I had peace.

MV: Hope Blooms comes from two things: My daughter’s middle name is Hope, but I also started to feel hope again as I worked with these flowers. The flowers remind me of new life, of God’s beautiful creation.

Follow Hope Blooms on Instagram @HopeBlooms_Floral, or on Facebook at Hope Blooms.

CI: So when the world shut down in 2020, Hope Blooms was opening up?

MV: Yes, I was growing and picking flowers, drying flowers for gifts, setting some out for folks to come and (pick up). It was a great way to freshen up your home, mood, and week.

And from there, I’ve had some events

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Courtney and her husband, Jeremy, live in Brandon and are members at Park Place Baptist Church in Pearl.

They have a daughter, Taylor, and a son, Jacob. Courtney is a full-time homemaker and can be reached at courtneyingle89@gmail.com.

If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death … – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION … but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9 Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE? For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

✝ THE RESULTS Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17 If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans!

Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith.

If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 15

COVER STORY by KATIE EUBANKS GINN

STEGALL IMAGERY

As Ben has made a major career transition over the past two years, he and Cammie have navigated “choppy waters” together as they pursue obedience.

Ben & Cammie Derrick’s ‘obedience whirlwind’

From pastoring to counseling — and protecting their marriage

T

hirteen years ago, metro Jackson native Ben Derrick had a calling to the ministry, a seminary degree, and years of useful experience — but he couldn’t get a church to hire him.

In fact, the only job Ben could get was at a telecommunications company, first in retail and later in a warehouse.

Because of that, “I was convinced (that I

had) messed up being a man of God so horrifically that God had cast me aside,” Ben says.

Over a year later, thanks to a friend who took a chance on him, Ben finally started working at what is now Vertical Church in Gluckstadt. His family settled in at Vertical, and the community there helped him climb out of depression. Eventually he became lead pastor. Life was great.

Then in 2021, God called Ben to take his vocation outside the church building — the

16 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

place where he’d desperately wanted to work a decade earlier — and enter the mental health field, to help men and marriages in crisis.

After a lot of prayer and conversation, Ben and Cammie decided to step into what Ben calls “the holy wild.” Their own marriage has been tested. Their own mental health has taken hits, as have their finances and friendships. But they believe obeying God is worth it.

‘I think you’re making a mistake’ At 17, Ben was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, underwent 44 rounds of radiation (“Imagine being put in your own microwave 44 times,” he says), and lost nearly 50 pounds.

After that, “I had my parents in the palm of my hand,” Ben recalls. They even let him go on a cruise out of New Orleans with friends. That’s where he met Cammie.

“I was sitting at the entryway of the boat,” he says. “And Cammie and her crew (happened) to be on that same boat. And man, I knew. I can still see her in that sundress .... I was like, this is going to be a great week.”

Cammie remembers Ben as wordy, talkative, and intelligent.

“I went to high school with a lot of athletes – and he was an athlete too, but I was just very impressed by how smart he was,” she recalls.

Cammie, who’d attended a private Christian high school in Baton Rouge, was already planning to attend Mississippi College, located right in Ben’s backyard in Clinton. “I didn’t want to go to a big university,” she says.

Ben did want a big university. He intended to have a good time at Mississippi State, far from parental supervision.

However, “I knew my life would be some version of vocational ministry.”

Ben initially planned to attend Mississippi State but switched to Mississippi College. While he was deciding, Cammie cut off communication. “I don’t need to be the reason you switch,” she said.

One Sunday at church, the service ended and “a man named Tom Prather came barreling out of the choir (loft) in his robe and told me very directly, ‘I think you’re making a mistake with where you’re going to college,’” Ben recalls. And he knew Mr. Prather might be right.

‘I think God’s done with me’ Ben and Cammie had kept in touch, but while he pondered where to get his degree,

she cut off communication. “She (said), ‘I do not need to be the reason that you shift colleges.’ That showed a lot of strength,” he says.

Ben eventually chose Mississippi College, where he majored in Christian studies and philosophy and Cammie majored in interior design. After marrying, graduating, and moving to Texas so Ben could attend seminary, the Derricks moved to rural Scott County, Mississippi. David

Ben and Cammie got married in November of their senior year of college. “This woman has endured at least three versions of me since this day,” Ben recently wrote on Instagram. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 17

PHOTOS BY STEGALL IMAGERY

Cooke, Ben’s former student pastor, had started a new Christian camp called Timber Creek and invited them to help get the camp up and running. They lived on site. “(Our first son) was less than a year old, and we were living in a cabin while our house was being built, and I vividly remember giving Owen baths in an Igloo cooler, because there were only showers in the cabin,” Ben says. “It was just a really beautiful time.”

“Our second son (Shepard) was born while we were there,” Cammie says. “(He and Owen’s) very early years were at camp, which was just so much fun for little boys, and our good friends were there.”

Eventually, the pace of camp life — and the massive exposure to germs from campers — meant that Ben stayed sick a lot. “I had a couple of brushes with death that were actually more serious than the cancer,” he says. The Derricks left Timber Creek after nearly nine years.

Ben was ready to enter church work then, but “I just didn’t have the resume,” he says. “When people hear ‘Christian camp,’ they think you’re (just) a camp counselor.”

Thus began Ben’s 13 months of selfdoubt and depression. But those months were also tough on Cammie. “We moved to Madison and started from scratch, and I didn’t know anybody,” she says.

Thankfully, “That’s when I got into the fitness scene. That has through the years became like my therapy,” she says. Cammie still teaches group exercise classes at the Madison Healthplex Performance Center and was group fitness director there for a time.

Also, while she adjusted to life in the metro, the boys were still little. “(I was) kind of distracted with them and couldn’t have a pity party.”

Finally, Ben called a man named Philip Thurman, whom Ben and Cammie had met when Philip worked at First Baptist Jackson. Now Philip had planted a church in Gluckstadt.

“I called (Philip) and said, ‘Man, I’m just spiritually broke. I think God’s done with

Cammie teaches exercise classes at the Madison Healthplex Performance Center. “(Working out) has through the years became like my therapy,” she says.

me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life anymore. Churches won’t hire me,’” Ben recalls. “And (he) was just crazy enough to (hire me).”

18 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Ben started interning at Lifebridge (later renamed Vertical Church) for 10 hours a week.

“Over the next 10 years, I think I held pretty much every job (on staff),” he says, laughing. When Philip Thurman left to plant another church, Ben became lead pastor.

The Hangar takes flight While working at Vertical, Ben grew more and more frustrated with a trend he saw in American churches.

“Men are voting with their feet (by not attending). The ones that are there look like they’re on anesthesia, gripping a cup of coffee until they would crush it,” he says. “I have been in that place ... And it wasn’t a service that solved that. It wasn’t a sermon ... It was relational connection.”

Ben had found that relational connection at Vertical Church, but “even a lot of men in the buckle of the Bible Belt don’t see church as a valuable resource for life change,” he says.

So Ben, his friend Steven Sahler, and a few others banded together to start a different kind of men’s group, inviting men from Vertical Church and Coyote Fitness, where Ben and Steven worked out. “(It) was really an effort to try to engage men and help those men engage their own stories,” Ben says.

Because the group initially met at the Madison airport, they called it The Hangar.

It started as a monthly gathering where a man would share his story — which could include his Christian testimony or any number of things — and the group would eat together. From there, smaller groups started meeting in men’s driveways.

“We began to have a group of 20 men on

The obedience whirlwind In 2021, Ben grew restless. He loved Vertical Church — it was a second home for him and his family — but The Hangar had stirred something up in him. “(Cammie) encouraged me to pace that

PHOTOS BY STEGALL IMAGERY

our driveway for seven years,” Ben says.

“Every Tuesday,” Cammie adds.

Before long, the Hangar groups were making an impact.

“It was nothing for my family to arrive (home) and you’ve got a grown man in his 40s, tears and snot in our driveway, because he’s been seen for the first time, and admitted something that perhaps first happened 20 years ago,” Ben says.

Hangar groups are operated from a Christian worldview but are open to men of all backgrounds. The men share openly about their lives, receive encouragement from other men, and ultimately deepen their relationships with themselves, others, and Christ. “(The life change happens with) meeting people in their desperation,” Ben says. “As I look at the life of Jesus, that’s exactly what He was doing.”

out,” he says, to figure out what that restlessness meant.

Through prayer and conversation with Cammie and other believers, including fellow Hangar men — plus a lot of trial and error — Ben eventually determined God was calling him to a career in mental health. But he wasn’t sure what that looked like.

He also had to figure out how and when to step away from Vertical.

“He committed (to) wait until the right person was found (to replace him as pastor) — not knowing how long that would take,” Cammie says.

Waiting was the least he could do, Ben says. “That community had done so much for us.”

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in you to do a particular work (Philippians 2:13). And then Ephesians says that’s a work that God has planned from a long time ago (Ephesians 2:10). So that’s been a process of obedience and discovery for us.”

In January 2023, Ben stepped down from Vertical. They had found a new lead pastor.

The Derricks enjoying a snow at Timber Creek Camp with baby Owen. “(Our two sons’) very early years were at camp, which was just so much fun for little boys,” Cammie says.

couple clients at his own practice, Hangar Cognitive Solutions.

“All of this was happening in what I call an obedience whirlwind,” Ben says.

STEGALL IMAGERY

While Ben continued serving as lead pastor, and Vertical sought a new one, he spent evenings and weekends getting training and certifications via the American Association of Christian Counselors and the Institute of Trauma Professionals.

During that time, he got a call from a friend, Maj. Drew Cleek of the Green Berets, who is stationed at the unit in Jackson. Maj. Cleek asked Ben if he would “show up” for the Green Berets inside of 20th Group, 2nd Battalion (2/20th), as he’d done for Hangar men — but as a paid, trained cognitive coach.

Ben said yes.

From there, he received a similar request from the State Auditor’s office to meet with men in their C-suite. (Both State Auditor Shad White and his chief of staff are military.)

And finally, Ben sees individual and

‘You’re doing great. Keep going.’

Ben and Cammie are not risk takers.

“We’ve always liked to have a plan,” Cammie says. Contrary to their nature, Ben says, the last two years have felt like a “Ready, fire, aim” strategy.

Also, “leaving Vertical was incredibly emotional – maybe more so for me,” Cammie says. The Derricks decided to stop attending Vertical Church for a time in order to give the congregation space to make a clean transition between pastors.

“It’s been very, very hard,” she says.

In the midst of navigating Ben’s career switch and the uncertainty that comes with it; visiting different churches; and raising two teen boys, “we have had to be intentional about looking for the good,” Cammie says.

Ben agrees: “We remain solidly married and faithful to one another, but there have been more tears shed in our living room in the past 24 months than our whole marriage combined.”

One challenge is that only Ben can see the “wins” from his new job in person, he says. “I can look in a man’s eyes and know, that man was suicidal three sessions ago.

Now he’s making plans for (the future).”

Meanwhile, Cammie is “holding down the fort, making sure that the practical things are taken care of. (Her role) is of primary importance,” Ben says — and not just to support his career. For instance, Cammie is more than willing to say things like, “Hey, your 16-year-old son needs you today.”

“That sort of statement is very welcome inside of our marriage,” Ben says.

When asked how she and Ben try to encourage each other in their daily lives, Cammie says: “We’ve kind of let some of that go over the last year or so, and just here recently we’ve (said) OK, we’ve got to prioritize our marriage again. “(For instance) today after this interview we’re going to have lunch together, just the two of us.”

“What’s really kept us steady are two (scriptures): Philippians 2 and Ephesians 2.

Those places talk about God putting a will

20 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Ben, Thank You for all you do for the Hangar Community.

They also try to thank each other for everyday tasks and sacrifices that are easy to take for granted. Seeing the good in each other helps balance out the frustrations, Cammie says.

Simple words of affirmation also make a big difference. “I’ve got a note (from Cammie) on the dash in my truck that says, ‘You’re doing great. Keep going,’” Ben says.

The Derricks have had to say no to social functions lately. They’ve even had to let certain relationships slide because their relationship with each other needs work and care.

“I probably have not been the best friend to people right now, or the best neighbor,” Cammie says. “But to keep myself sane, I’ve had to (stick to the basics).”

Another scripture that’s proved pivotal is Job 23:10, which says in part, “when (God) has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” The Derricks know they’re being tested. “(That) verse and many alongside it have been the mooring place for us … because the waters are choppy,” Ben says.

“Our marriage has provided that (safe harbor too), I think in ways that have even surprised us.” “(This rocky season has) made us really

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thankful for the marriage that we have, and the foundation that we built a long time ago, largely because we had other couples pouring into us,” Cammie says.

Neither she nor Ben has handled the past two years perfectly. But isn’t that the point of grace? As Ben says: “It’s a unique gift to be able to fail fantastically in front of someone and have them love you on the opposite side of that.” Y

How to help the 2/20th The Green Berets and other soldiers of the 2/20th whom Ben counsels are National Guard-attached, not active duty, meaning “they have limited access” to government resources and care, he says — adding that these men and women are in “acute levels of crisis and stress.”

During the global war on terror, the 2/20th deployed every three years. “(They’re) tired after 20 years of war.”

Also, “when you lose friends in Afghanistan and then the United States for its own reasons just shuts off the war, it leads these (soldiers) to a philosophical crisis,” Ben says.

One of Ben’s biggest priorities is raising money to give members of the 2/20th opportunities for “marriage counseling, testing for traumatic brain injury, which they all have … interruption for addiction issues, and to be seen and known and understood,” he says.

Sounds like a big ask. The 2/20th is comprised of 400 men and women in 48 states (some live right here in central Mississippi). But “when a soldier is (potentially) going to get foreclosed on (and) this fund reaches out with $1,400, that changes that man’s life.”

Thanks to his close contact with the 2/20th, Ben is able to direct donations where they’re most needed, he says.

“That’s the goal, to meet those (soldiers) where they are in a way that they don’t demand or even expect. And that leads to a lot of, as you might imagine, spiritual conversations.”

To donate to the 2/20th, email Ben at ben@hangarcognitive.com or visit SpecialForcesCharitableTrust.org.

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mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 23

FEATURE STORY by COURTNEY INGLE

Service and sacrifice fuel 2 Mississippi authors VETERANS DAY IS NOVEMBER 11. American servicemen and servicewomen are honored for their dedication to the country — a dedication that requires sacrifice of their time, safety, and sometimes even their lives. Two Mississippi authors have recently shared their stories of service and what it cost them.

Spiritual lessons of a Secret Service agent Tim Viertel of Madison was a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting U.S. presidents and their families. Viertel traveled into war-torn countries with President Jimmy Carter, commanded the caravan for First Lady Laura Bush, served as protection for President Bill Clinton and more.

During his time as an agent, Viertel was to remain on high alert, watching for the safest paths and always scanning for threats. In these seasons of being constantly on the lookout, Viertel said he learned some of his most valuable lessons about the Tim Viertel character of God. Those lessons, plus the desire to leave that knowledge to his grandchildren, inspired his book “Protected: Reflections of a Secret Service Agent.”

“I take my real life stories and incorporate them into my biblical teachings,” said Viertel. “So I’ve done that in this book; I tell the story with a biblical application.”

Viertel said the goal was never just to tell stories of his experiences, but to glorify God. “I wanted to let people know that this is for the glory of God, and I am a man of faith,” Viertel added.

“Protected” is a culmination of 50 different stories of Viertel’s time in the Secret Service. Reflecting on those stories has exposed spiritual lessons he learned that he might not have realized in the moment.

24 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

“The Lord was showing me things through some of these memories and happenings that I haven’t thought about for years,” said Viertel. “I was learning about patience, about serving others and loving others in moments that, at the time, I didn’t think about, like when I saw Mother Theresa for the first time.”

Viertel said the Holy Spirit was leading him along in the sharing of these stories, which gave an even greater meaning to the years he served as an agent.

A mother shares her story of losing her veteran son to suicide Veterans often commit to a life of service with an overwhelming desire to be part of something bigger than themselves. They know deployment, war, moving, and time away from family are part of the sacrifice, and they do it willingly.

But many of those veterans have witnessed things they can’t speak of; eventually, the burden on their mind and soul can become too much.

Susan Cleland lost her son, Michael Ryan Vinson, to veteran suicide. He was a dedicated serviceman with a heart of gold and a big love for Susan Cleland people. His friends called him Mike.

Cleland is the author of “Mission Vigilant: A Mother’s Crusade to Stem the Tide of Veteran Suicide.” Cleland’s journal-turned-memoir expresses the pain and anger she has felt since losing her son, the community of other mothers in her shoes, and her undying faith in God.

“I’ve always journaled, and I’ve always thought it was therapeutic,” said Cleland. “So when we lost (Michael), I kept journaling. I had good days and bad days, but I could tell things were happening in me.”

Cleland said she felt led to share her journal, and turned to her friend and local author Sheyre Green for help.

“I knew I had to share this journal,” said Cleland, “for anyone who has lost someone after they had given their life to service.”

Cleland said the stories in her book are not just her own, but testimonies of other mothers who have lost loved ones to suicide.

“So many of us are or were angry with God, but I try to remember and remind them that we were never promised an easy life,” said Cleland. “And I tell them, all of our stories are extremely hard, but we’re sharing to protect other families.”

Cleland added that her faith in God continued to grow as she journaled and attended therapy.

“We can’t do anything without God,” said Cleland. “And grief is a journey, it never ends … but I don’t know where I’d be without my faith in God, and some people don’t have that, and it’s so heartbreaking.” Y

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Tim Viertal’s “Protected: Reflections of a Secret Service Agent” can be purchased online on BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or locally at Brick City Drugs in Madison.

Susan Cleland’s “Mission Vigilant: A Mother’s Crusade to Stem the Tide of Veteran Suicide” can be purchased online on BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or locally at Lemuria Books in Jackson.

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COMMUNITY OUTREACH by SAMUEL BOLEN

Find your place of impact in Jackson

I

remember it like it was yesterday.

I was 22, fresh out of college, and eager to be involved in my community. There was just one problem:

I didn’t know where to start. I had a degree, a promise of a part-time job, and no idea how to put what little I had to good use.

I recalled the name of one local nonprofit, Stewpot. I couldn’t identify where it was located, the services provided, or the present needs. So I searched for “Stewpot” online, clicked “donation needs,” and read a request for deodorant for homeless participants.

That was all I needed to carve a pathway between my home and downtown Jackson.

Naively, I stopped by Walmart, bought two sticks of deodorant, and hoped these items would be a first step to discovering more about Stewpot. The deodorant delivery allowed me to meet with a staff member and tour the facility. But I also wanted to learn more about Jackson, its neighborhoods, its people, its needs, its leaders, and its opportunities. Most

importantly, I wanted to find my place of involvement and impact.

Now, over a decade later, I have the privilege to lead the Jackson Leadership Foundation, an organization dedicated to empowering ministries similar to Stewpot, developing new ministries, and connecting a growing network of volunteers and donors, people like me who love Mississippi, love Jackson, and want to make a difference.

Every day, our team works to provide programs and services in the city. Currently, we serve around 25 ministry leaders participating in our leadership training, shared staffing, back-office services, and our volunteer platform. We have mobilized many volunteers to meet needs such as mentoring, emergency housing, access to clean water, employment and more.

While the work is rewarding, the relationships are transformative. I’ve had the privilege of linking arms with everyone from the homeless in the street to the principal at the school to the pastor behind the pulpit. I have officiated weddings,

assisted in funerals, celebrated new jobs, mourned losses, and prayed feverishly for my friends in the city. I have found my place, and my place is Jackson, Mississippi.

I invite you to consider your place in our metro area. Maybe you’re like me: You want to make a difference but don’t know how or where to begin. Maybe you want to volunteer, or maybe you want to start a nonprofit. Let Jackson Leadership Foundation help you.

What is in your hands? Maybe it’s two sticks of deodorant and a lot of hope.

Those sound like perfect ingredients for you to find your place in this beautiful city.

To learn more about JLF or to volunteer, visit JacksonLeadershipFoundation.org or call 601-421-4445. Y Samuel is executive director of the Jackson Leadership Foundation. He and his wife, Hallie, live in Jackson with their three sons and are members of Redeemer Church.

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mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 27

LIVING MY CALL by KENYA KIMBALL RAFFERTY

How adopting a teenager changed my life In honor of National Adoption Month, Kenya Rafferty shares her story of fostering and adopting a teenager. The Rafferty family was licensed to foster children and youth through the Mississippi Department of Child Protection Services, resulting in Tabitha’s adoption.

Kenya Rafferty lives in Clinton with her husband, Andrew, and their three daughters, Rozzi Clare (1), Josie (4), and Tabitha (19). They became foster parents in 2017. They attend Pinelake Clinton, and both work in the Clinton Public School District.

28 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

SHELBY MULLINS PHOTOGRAPHY

I

t was a God thing. That’s all I can say about our experience adopting our teenage daughter. I never anticipated being a 31-year-old mother to a 19-year-old, but adoption has a funny way of changing lives for the better.

Five years ago, a tall 14-year-old girl stood in our driveway. We had been anticipating this moment since the first time we learned about her. God had closed many doors in preparing us to be her parents. We embraced for the first time and headed inside with her belongings. This was the first day we met our Tabitha.

Now it seems I have known her forever. We share the same brown hair and cheekbones. She imitates my mannerisms and, as she is only 12 years my junior, we are commonly mistaken for sisters.

It took three years for Tabitha’s adoption from foster care to be finalized. Through court closures, missing death certificates, and a The Rafferty family, from left: Tabitha, Josie, Kenya, and Andrew pandemic, we grew as a family. We worked on communication, emotional regulation, and developing bonds. Tabitha bonded most holding Rozzi Clare. strongly with our first biological daughter, born three months after At school she became enraptured with competition theater and Tabitha’s arrival. She graciously stepped into her new role of “Sissy” expanded her comfort zones. She began to thrive. We were and found a new definition of unconditional love. constantly challenged with the need to nurture her while also guiding her through the challenges of high school. I was compelled to learn to soften and listen more (skills I’m still practicing).

CONSIDERING ADOPTING A FOSTER YOUTH? Unlike most of her peers, who were naturally pushing away from their families, Tabitha clung to the safety of hers. It was You may benefit from the following: Financial support important that we all spent time together, bonding before she left Medicaid for college. We were making up for a lot of time in a short Individual & family counseling window. She grew tremendously during these years.

Crisis intervention & stabilization Tabitha’s most drastic growth happened after the adoption was Mental health support finalized in November 2021. Suddenly there was a settling. I also Respite care noticed in my own heart a deeper, more intense love. When Tabitha knew that this love was forever, there seemed to be less fear of making mistakes. She began showing up as a typical VISIT OUR teenager (eye rolling, door slamming, driving, etc). She began HEART GALLERY FOR MORE INFO ABOUT desiring to be away from home with her friends, knowing she ADOPTING FOSTER YOUTH could always come back.

Today, Tabitha is the oldest of our three girls. She’s a MDCPS.MS.GOV sophomore theater major at Mississippi State. In the day-to-day of parenting, it can be hard to remember how much she’s grown and how much I’ve grown as her mother — but we don’t even like to think of where she could be if God hadn’t placed her with us. Her courage to overcome the past and her desire to be loved inspire us to be better parents. She deserves our best. And unconditionally, that’s what she will always get. Y

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 29

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mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 31

BUSINESSES OF FAITH

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32 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

FAITH, FASHION & FITNESS by SHAY GREENWOOD

Fall fashion for unexpected life events

I

love this season! I get excited to wear big sweaters, fun shoes, and jeans. In cooler weather, I love adding layers —

but I want to feel cute and comfy at the same time. This is especially true when the unexpected happens.

In one week, three weeks ago, my family walked through unexpected times: the untimely death of my husband’s brother; a refrigerator leak (more like running faucet); our son breaking his arm in a football game; and our four adult kids, a son-in-law and a girlfriend coming into town for their uncle’s funeral.

Our house sounded like a jet taking off with all the fans and the dehumidifier blowing to dry the water out of the wood floors and walls — that sound is still ringing in my ears. We are now living in a hotel until the insurance claim settles and they reconstruct our floors.

I’ve spent intentional time focusing on the blessings despite the chaos. One of those blessings is that God has given us beautiful things to look at, and of course for me that includes fall fashion.

The transition into sweaters, fun tennis shoes, jeans, and a crisp white shirt have created a fun thing to look at as I pass the mirror in the hotel lobby bathroom.

Although I realize these treasures don’t mean much in the bigger scheme of things, I can’t help the way I was raised by a mom and grandmother who faced hard circumstances. When I look my best, I feel my best, and then I can do my best — no matter that I feel displaced and like everything is outside my control.

It feels good to spend a little extra time on myself. I have even been super pleasant to the adjuster when he tells me that our claim is still in review. I’m representing Jesus through it all! If that’s what this is about, then sign me up!

Is your wardrobe ready for fall? Don’t forget to shop your closet first. Here are some fun things to look for — we can wear them all fall and winter long: ● Fun sneakers. Sneakers are in with every outfit — dressed up or down. ● Big white shirt. I love the freshness of a white blouse, T-shirt or sweater. ● Big sweater. The bigger and fluffier, the better. ● Jeans. Distressed or not, skinny or flared, wear what looks great on you!

Are you going through a hard time right now? My DMs are always open if you need an encouraging word! I’m here for you.

Y

“When I look my best, I feel my best,” columnist Shay Greenwood says. Spending a few extra minutes on yourself can help you have a better attitude in trying times.

Shay is a style coach with a mission to help women look and feel their best! Follow her on Facebook and Instagram @shaygreenwood.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2023 33

QUIPS & QUOTES

{

CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!

}

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Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble. ~ PSALM 107:1-2, ESV

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ PHILIPPIANS 4:4-7, ESV

~ COLOSSIANS 2:6-7, NKJV

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18, ESV

Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies. ~ PSALM 103:1-4, KJV

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. ~ JAMES 1:17, ESV

O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. ~ PSALM 95:1, KJV

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. ~ HEBREWS 13:15, KJV

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. ~ PSALM 118:24, ESV

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The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. ~ PSALM 28:7, KJV

Mascagni Wealth Management ............36 Midsouth Association of Independent Schools....................................21 Millsaps College..................................................26 Miskelly Furniture ..................................................7 Mission Vigilant ...................................................25

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ~ COLOSSIANS 3:15-16, ESV

Mississippi Boychoir .......................................29 Mississippi Department of Child Protective Services .........................28 The Orchard...........................................................29 Ordinary Miracles...............................................22 Palmer Home for Children..........................23 Pine Grove Treatment Center .....................5 Soccer Shots............................................................8 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company .....................................25 Sunnybrook............................................................32

For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised: He also is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the people are idols: But the LORD made the heavens.

34 NOVEMBER 2023 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

~ 1 CHRONICLES 16:25-26, KJV

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