Planning Your Funeral By Pastor Mark Wiley As important as it is to have your legal affairs in order prior to your death, it is just as important that you have spelled out in some detail your desires for your funeral or memorial service. I tell people that there are three rules you should follow: Rule 1: Funerals are not for you. Whatever you tell people you want in your funeral/memorial service, they will try to arrange. They will feel honor bound. But there’s a catch; sometimes how you want things to be arranged and what the family needs to have arranged for their grieving may not be the same. Your family will be helped if you say, “This is what I prefer, but do what you think is best for you.” Rule 2: Usually, there is no mandated style of service—funeral or memorial, casket or cremation, open or closed casket. So do it the way you want. Make burial arrangements with a mortuary and provide contact information. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Where do you want your ashes scattered? Rule 3: Write down your desires and make sure everyone has a copy. Frankly, I have seen more than a few families torn apart because of differing opinions when wishes have not been clearly defined by the deceased. If you want to be cremated and your ashes scattered somewhere specific, let people know. If you have a burial spot picked out, tell folks. If you have already paid for the plot, keep the documentation where people can easily find it. Be aware of the costs. If you want to be buried, a casket runs from $3,000-$5,000. Cremation costs
are less. Burial plots are not free and neither are headstones. Newspapaers charge advertising rates for obituaries. The county will provide a set number of death certificates; you will have to pay if you need more. There are usually some costs associated with the church, temple, mosque or mortuary where the funeral or memorial service is held, as well. There are some other decisions you should make and convey to those who will be responsible for your funeral or memorial service. What kind of music do you want played? Background music is often played as people gather or at the reception. Congregational music is music everyone sings. Performance music is performed by a choir, organist, or soloist. List your favorite style of music. List any songs you want played or sung. Decide if you want a pianist or organist. Would you like a choir or soloist to sing? And what do you want them to sing? There can be scriptures, poems, and/or prayers read at the service. If you have any favorite Bible verses, be sure to write them down. Same goes for a prayer or poem. Decide who you would like to do the readings. Prepare a biography of significant events, memories, and history. The best stuff is the funny stuff. If you want someone to speak, you might want to give them fair warning.
Taken from, “Saving Your Funeral From Being Deadly: How to Plan a Good Funeral,” by Pastor Mark Wiley, senior minister, Mesa Verde UMC.
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