Hassan Khan - The Transcriptions

 because it gave you recipes of drugs and it gave you recipes of bombs so whatever came out of the hippie movement that was one thing that was really valuable I believe and although I never did it I always had the desire and the fantasy of creating a bomb in which I put into AUC and blow it to bits that was a fantasy too but not just a fantasy nothing beyond a fantasy really but that says something I guess and if I did not blow it to bits fine but at least in a way I slaughter it now for myself as a memory and I can deal with this institution and I will deal with this institution on completely different terms anyway going to a party once in Maadi Sari was bartending and there was a house I saw Allison there who used to be the girlfriend of a friend of mine two years ago that was not the point but in that party there was a fight between me and Sari and Abe against this huge line and my glasses were off because we had already had physical contact my glasses fell and Abe retrieved them they were not on and I could not see them clearly but I saw this fuzzy line of conservative platform butts coming towards me and I was completely enraged and willing to gouge out people’s eyes and stab people I was just full of adrenaline and full of violence and so full of power of hate and it did not happen it was stopped there was a conflict and then we were separated and then it was stopped and it was muddy the whole scene was muddy because of the all alcohol spilt all over the place I’m not sure anybody really knew what the fuck we were fighting about but it did not matter it was typical we were just like bla and they just were very offended by our bla because our bla was erotic too and they were threatened by that I think in a way I remember it clearly and I think Abe broke it up he just just ran into them with his weight and that broke up the whole thing and Sari was was a vicious bastard too because I think in this fight in the pre-fight when we had like that brief moment of physical contact he punched a guy with his ring in his eyes and really fucked him up the guy was bleeding from his eyes and that’s pretty harsh but that was good in a way too and someone took a picture of me in Omar’s house Omar Bug in his house typing something on the computer and maybe I still have that picture and that was the picture that Amin the fucking bastard wrote behind I don’t know how or when and I discovered he wrote when he attacked me viciously and that was the moment I discovered what betrayal was he wrote fucking junkie which was not true and it does not matter if it was true or not but was not true technically it was not true and that was his own fear coming out the thing is with a situation where a small group of people are forced into one social system what happens is a lot of strong connections exist but also a lot of fears and lots of hatreds come up and they are all everything becomes super-important and that is also a lie because what was happening was all these super-important things which is also true as much as it is a lie that were happening were in the end little storms in little small coffee cups compared to what was going on outside that and that was part of it part of maintaining the fact that you are isolated from the outside was to self-indulge and to indulge and to feel that this is who I am and blablabla and so to make a big fuss out of every little piece of shit so unfolding the time all gone in a way all gone completely and once again in Sinai smoking opium I think was postgraduation time and I think this happened after I left AUC completely but interesting because so different to all my previous experiences with drugs because sitting on a roof again a roof always associated with that letting go into the void but sitting on a roof and smoking that joint with a couple of people and not a joint an opium pipe I don’t remember if it was a pipe and we smoked it or maybe what we did we laced a cigarette with it and then smoked it and then smoked the pipe and then very relaxed falling back in slow motion and looking at the stars and going into the deepest sleep possible but also having my eyes wide open at the same time and that was a moment of deepest deepest relaxation really amazing really absolutely amazing and I compared it to my