Capricorn (12/22-1/19)- Avoid yellow socks unless the moon is full. Aquarius (1/20-2/18)- Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera! Pisces (2/19-3/20)- Brushing your teeth four times a day isn’t going to get the taste of green bean and strawberry jello gulash out of your mouth. Aries (3/21-4/19)- Sometimes we really wonder about you. Taurus (4/20-5/20)- Fashion faux pas or not, sneakers look excellent on you. Go buy three more pair. Gemini (5/21-6/21)- It is the dawn of a new species - the gentle, mop-haired, hippo - and you’ll be the first to make the discovery. Cancer (6/22-7/22)- First, I just have to tell you how fab you look in that color of lipstick. It really makes your eyes pop. Secondly....well, actually that was all I had to say. Leo (7/23-8/22)- You will eat the best hot chocolate lava cake you’ve ever tasted this month, so savor it because you’ll never get it again. Never EVER again. Ever. Virgo (8/23-9/22)- Your plans just aren’t going to work out for you. Sorry. You might as well whip out the ice cream and chick lit right now and skip the disappointment. Libra (9/23-10/22)- If you sing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” on a road trip, you will get punched in the nose. Scorpio (10/23-11/21)- That hobby you wanted to pick up? Three words of advice: WASTE OF TIME. Sagittarius (11/22-12/21)- You get a big cosmic thumbs up this month. Congrats, yo.
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