FUNNY SAYINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HUH? IN THE NIGHT I was sitting at a bar last night, drinking my goose and soda while Bret Michaels sang to me, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and I wondered what the hell is he talking about because roses have way more than just one thorn? The cliché sayings that sound beautiful screeched in a high pitch tone, out of longhaired rocker’s mouths don’t always make sense. Yet, we sing and say things like these all the time. We use weird sayings to make sense of situations when we don’t understand or can’t explain what the hell is going on in any other way. Old sayings have been around forever and still apply today because people are weird and do stupid shit. History repeats itself (and there is another one) but so do stupid people who do stupid things so these terms come in handy.
Here are some sayings and the immediate random thoughts that populate in the squishy, overthinking, ADD and OCD thing between my ears. Karma is a Bitch! So am I. But, if she is such a bitch – where has she been hiding her superpowers? I see assholes never having to dance with her. She is late. Someone call and get her ass to work. Her smart phone must be broken.
Dumber than a bag of hammers Whoever coined this phrase was probably dumb too. How dumb is a bag of hammers? How the hell would I know? Have you ever talked to a hammer? Me neither but I still use this term. *This is a good place to point out that some of these old sayings have had variations attached to them like: Dumber than a box of hair. Dumber than a doorknob. Dumber than paint. Dumber than a bag of rocks. Dumb as a stump. ….I guess you can fill in the blanks with whatever utility tool, coloring utensil or hairy word you are currently fond of referencing to express whatever point you were trying to make.
It will happen when you least expect it If I am not expecting “it”, how will I know what “it” is if I want “it” to happen? How does this make sense? So, should I want something and then pretend I don’t want “it” and then that magical “’it” will happen? That is the new plan. Hope I am a good liar to myself so I won’t expect “it”.
It is not you, it is me
It is definitely you, not me. I do know that you don’t want to be with me because I don’t want to be with you. That must be it!
It will come back to haunt you. Like the burrito I ate last night?
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