Roving reporter April.qxp_Layout 1 23/03/2018 19:26 Page 1
DARCY’S NEWS CAFÉ Brunch @ Darcy’s
KNOW WHEN TO UNFRIEND
Our roving reporter looks at social media etiquette and the pitfalls of public pronouncements
S Bath’s finest
independent
news café
Breakfast from 8am available all day Lunch from 12pm
01225 435 308 | 34 Gay Street, Bath BA1 2NT |
darcybath
vintage furniture contemporar y styling
15 WALCOT BUILDINGS. LONDON RD. BA1 6AD Free parking on London Rd, in Weymouth St & at Morrisons ver veliving.uk
07785 332536 16 TheBATHMagazine
|
april 2018
07712 467347 |
iSSUe 187
ocial media is a handy, if admittedly lazy, way of keeping in touch with people, of cultivating friendships without the hassle of having to comb your hair, or needing to offer your undivided attention over coffee, and look sympathetic over the airing of first world problems. No, thanks to Facebook, Twitter and, to a lesser extent, Instagram, you can slob out in front of a box set of The Walking Dead, wearing your pyjamas and digging into a family size pack of Doritos while giving the world the impression that you’ve just slipped on a slinky little designer number, some vertiginous high heels and are off to quaff cocktails and canapés at one of Bath’s smartest establishments while laughing your red lipsticked face off for all those society photos. Judging by my feeds online lots of you actually do that and, yes, I do suffer sometimes from what the millennials refer to as FOMO (fear of missing out). That’s when you are at home but feeling miffed that you haven’t been invited to the party that everyone else is clearly enjoying. In fact what we really crave is to be invited to everything, whether it’s a glittering (they’re always glittering) black tie awards ceremony or a drinks reception for the opening of a new opticians on the high street, then we can RSVP that we’re too busy, or double booked that night, and get back to the box set, sure in the knowledge that we could have been a contender in the sparkliest guest contest, but that we chose not to, thank you very much. On the whole I am fine with people creating these better, brighter versions of themselves online. If it makes them happy, then who am I to stop them presenting a carefully edited impression of their lives? But there does come a point when we have to unfollow or unfriend someone in our social media address book. What online faux pas brings you to hover over the delete button? Pet hates. I can cope with the whole ‘oh, look here’s another photo of an adorable kitten’ trend, but when your mate insists on referring to herself as ‘Mummy’ when addressing her dog, or calling her pet her ‘fur baby’ it may be time to unfriend. Redneck values. That cousin or old colleague, who might have been hilarious in person after a few drinks down the pub, telling a few offcolour jokes that made you snigger at the time, suddenly looks a bit suspect when his views are expressed in black and white. All those posts of bikini-clad models and those damning remarks about women drivers, or ‘the good lady wife’... Time to delete this dodgy geezer from your timeline. The sounding board. Is social media really an appropriate place to air your grievances against a fellow committee member on the school parents’ WhatsApp group? Or to launch a rant about flatmates who steal other people’s cheese from the communal fridge? Or, indeed, to conduct a highly charged – and accusatory – argument with your father? (I have actually seen this on social media, avidly reading every detail while at the same time condemning this as shocking behaviour). It can all go a bit Jeremy Kyle before the participants have realised that airing your dirty laundry in public might not be the solution to the problem. Maybe not delete as they’re probably vulnerable, but give them a wide swerve by not ‘liking’ or commenting on their behaviour. The exes and ohs. When you split up you agreed you’d stay friends, but then you start seeing them having fun on social media with their new squeeze. Ouch! Time to let them go. One of the other big problems of social media is the jolly Facebook prompt that reminds you of what you were doing together when you were all loved up this time last year, or even seven years ago. But unfriending someone won’t solve this painful reminder of the way things used to be. While we’re on the subject of pain, how many of us know how our Facebook accounts will fare after we’re dead... will we unwittingly haunt those left behind with memories of good times past? n