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“And He found you lost, and guided you” Quran 93:7
SALAH/PRAYER: THE GREATEST INVITATION
March 2012 mbmuslima.com
RABI `AL-THANI 1433
MBMUSLIMA
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The global contemporary magazine for Muslim women (and men too) who choose to define themselves through the Creator, not the creation Working to keep the guidelines of Islam embedded in every single page, between every single letter, inshaAllah
FOUNDER Sister Yasmin Essa
WELCOME TO THE SALAH (PRAYER) ISSUE!
ASSISTANT EDITOR Sister Nur Soliman LAYOUT & DESIGN Sister Yasmin Essa COVER IMAGE AdamBomb_23 | flickr.com VISUAL ARTS INTERN Bint Muhammad PUBLISHING INTERN Sister Aisha B. Ali EDITING INTERN Sister Sarah Mostafa FASHION INTERN Sister Shahirah Elaiza RELATIONSHIP SPECIALIST Sister Tayyaba Syed MARRIAGE SPECIALIST Sister Fatima A. Khan
2012 EDITORIAL CALENDAR January: I Love Islam February: 40 Under 40 March: Salah/Prayer April: Jihad May: Happiness June: Marriage & Love July: Ramadan Prep August: Ramadan/Eid September: Time Management October: Holistic Health & Healing November: The Youth December: Faith, Skepticism & Rejuvenation
HALAL CULINARY SPECIALIST Sister Yvonne Maffei BROTHER’S AMBASSADOR Brother Kyle Smith PARENTING COLUMNIST Sister Ameera Rahim KID’S SECTION CONTRIBUTOR Sister Meriam Essa FREESTYLE COLUMNIST Sister Jennifer Fawzy FRENCH COLUMNIST Sister Khadijah Egkf CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Brother Gareth Bryant
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Copyright Modest Beautiful Muslima© Magazine 2009-2012 All rights reserved. Do not reproduce or redistribute anything unless otherwise agreement with MBMuslima exists mbmuslima.com
Arabic Caligraphy by Bint Muhammad, MBM’s Visual Arts Intern
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MBMUSLIMA READER CONNECTION WE ASKED: What do you do to keep yourself focused in salah? “Good question. With three kids always running around, I find it hard to stay focused sometimes. I don't have any suggestions but I look forward to hearing what other people have to say.” - Devin Perry “I try to clear up my mind before starting it.” -Piedad Muslimah Dawah “The Messenger of God said: When you stand up to pray, perform your prayer as if it were your last...' (Ahmad)” -Nicole Bond “I also imagine Mecca right before me, and remember Allah is always watching me ♥ ..I have children too, It is NOT easy, but inshaAllah they learn to respect you.” -Nicole Bond “I try to concentrate on the surahs (chapters) I am reciting while in salah (prayer) so I don't think of anything else while I'm praying.” -Rauny Salma
“Thank you so much for the invaluable reminder. I'd like to add as well that I've realized lately that I'm too stressed. I study and work at the same time, so whenever I'm studying I want to finish quickly to work and whenever I'm working I try to finish quickly to study, so I end up mentally too tired and unfocused. It caught my attention that the only time I feel a bit better is when I'm driving. You can't study when you are driving, you can't work when you are driving, you just drive. I have a principle that there's nothing that deserves driving too fast for, because certainly the life of those on the streets are more worthy. i.e. I would never kill a person to arrive early to work. Then it occurred to me that Allah is also more important than working and studying. So when I'm praying, I shouldn't hurry up for ANYTHING in the world. And, just like driving, there's nothing to do while you are praying, so I should just - PRAY, and thereby, give my mind a break; give it some time to relax with its creator. “So I'm doing my best nowadays to focus in prayers not only because I should do so to get enough thawab, but also because this is the only true relaxation I can get to my mind and soul.” - Yomn Sharaf El Din
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CONTENTS 4
3 MBMuslima Reader Connection 4 Favorite Quotes of the Month
MARCH 2012 MBMuslima’s Favorite Quotes of the Month
6 From the Founder PREVIEW: “Don't let the most significant invitation you will ever receive pass you up. Don't let the most important event of your life end in a way other than His salvation.”
7 From the Assistant Editor PREVIEW: “It sometimes feels like the age we are living in is the busiest, most distracting, distressing, and difficult time. We are constantly rushing to catch up on what we did not have time to do yesterday, just barely managing family and friends, work and studies, and everything in between.”
“Does the heart prostrate? It does, and to a greater degree than the body. The prostration of the heart is in its humility, such that a person could physically rise from prostration, yet his heart would still be performing sujood. It does so with the knowledge that it is Allah who guides, who raises people and lowers others, who shows mercy but also punishes, and who removes the afflictions and sadness of the heart. If your heart does not experience a certain type of brokenness, the humility that we speak of, then an important component of sujood is missing.” -Jinan Bastaki “Salah is something we squeeze into our day, when we find time—if that. Our ‘lives’ don’t revolve around salah. Salah revolves around our ‘lives.’ If we’re in class, salah is an afterthought. If we’re at the mall, the Macy’s sale is more urgent. Something is seriously wrong when we put aside the very purpose of our existence in order to watch a basketball game.” -Yasmin Mogahed “If Shaytan (Satan) rushes you in salah (prayer), remember that everything you want to catch and everything that you are afraid that you might miss is in the Hands of the One you are standing in front of.” - Maryam Rana
MHK Recipe Quinoa with Swiss Chard, Garlic & Tomatoes
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14 5
2 Moves for a
Imagine That!
Healthy Back 17
16 spirituality & everyday life 8 Bring Prayer to Life PREVIEW: “A big question is do we revolve our prayers around our schedules or our schedules around our prayers?”
9 Convert Corner with Brother Kyle PREVIEW: “Leading by example is much better dawah, and a much better representation of Islam than just preaching to others about how their lifestyle is wrong.”
9 Quran Challenge 10 My Cucoon Diaries PREVIEW: It’s been a time for me to dig deep within myself, to wrap myself in an anti-social cocoon, to find any and all problems that are within myself, in order to fix them with the help of Allah, of course.”
health & well-being 14 Fitness: 2 Moves for a Healthy Back March’s 2 fitness move of the month are perfect for the winter, as you can do them right at home. Guaranteed to strengthen your back muscles, keep you in shape, and eliminate back pain! Bye, bye back discomfort!
brother’s section 15 How to Give Advice: Sunnah Style PREVIEW: “We should always try to praise someone whenever we give them advice. We also need to make sure to be gentle with them, rather than being harsh.”
parenting & children 16 Imagine That
19 Reality Check
In her column, Modern Muslim Parenting, Sister Ameera shares some great tips, as always
food
relationship
12 Superfood: Kumquats
17 5 Minutes with Fatima A. Khan
This month’s superfood is the free radical scavenger!
12 Recipe: Quinoa with Swiss Chard, Garlic & Tomatoes Sister Yvonne Maffei of My Halal Kitchen never fails to impress us with her recipes
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As always, we are impressed by Fatima’s lovely, delicate & awesome advice
17 Marriage Tip of the Month
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FROM THE FOUNDER The Greatest of All Invitations Bismillah Al Rahman Al Raheem In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, Most Merciful. Assalamu alaykum wa RahmatUllahi wa Barkatu, May the peace and blessings of Allah SWT be unto you, Welcome to the Salah Issue of MBMuslima! We are so glad you found us. We pray that you leave this issue feeling appreciative, refreshed, inspired, creative, and faithful. Dearest MBMuslima Supporters, Our lives are nothing but a string of events. Each of these events come with their respective invitations. Some invitations call us to good. Some invitations call us to evil. Some invitations disguise themselves as neutral, but in reality are means to waste our time. Some invitations come straight from Allah subhana wa ta3la. Some of His invitations come from the Quran. Some of His invitations are sent to us personally, though the experiences He throws at us. Some of His invitations are sent through various vehicles, such as other people. Allah subhana wa ta3la invites us to many things. He invites us to hardship, so we can rise against all odds. When he does this, it is a gracious invitation to hardship, as His invitation is branded with the unshakeable promise that "ease follows hardship" (Quran 94: 5-6). He invites us to various worldly pleasures, but reminds us that they come with limits, guidelines, and remembrance that they are transient versions of the Real Thing. All of His
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invitations have one purpose, one invitation to the most important event: The Day of Judgment invites us to the Real Thing: Jannah (Heaven). So how do we accept Allah's Gracious invitation? While many things factor into play here, our master key to accepting his invitation is by observing our Salah and working towards a continuous goal of khushoo, which is loosely translated as concentration and humility in our prayers. Five times a day, Allah subhana wa ta3la is inviting us to come back to Him. He is inviting us to Jannah. Don't let the most significant invitation you will ever receive pass you up. Don't let the most important event of your life end in a way other than His salvation. Jazakum Allahu khairan. Sister Yasmin Essa, Founder, MBMuslima Magazine P.S. As always, your comments, criticism, and suggestions as an MBM reader are highly appreciated, encouraged, and valued. By the will of Allah SWT, let us all engage in a deep, collective search for truth, guided by the primary sources of Islam: the Qur’an and Sunnah. As always, JazakAllah khair for being an MBM reader—the magazine would be nothing without you.
Enjoy the issue.
FROM THE ASSISTANT EDITOR 7
By Sister Nur Soliman, MBM’s Assistant Editor
“The Whole World Has Been Made a Place of Prayer for Us” In
Sahīh
Muslim,
Hudhayfah related that the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam said, “We have been distinguished with three blessings over the rest of humanity. We have been given ranks in prayer like the ranks that the angels have, the whole world has been made a place of prayer for us, and its soil has been made a purification for us when we do not find water” (522). What has always struck me about this hadith and has stayed with me for years is, that the whole world “has been made a place of prayer for us,” consecrated for worship. If you can find a clean, comfortable space and place in which you can perform your prayer, you have completed salaam. And most of us, alhamdulillah have safe, quiet, and holy places in our homes and our mosques or religious centers. But you may be surprised how many places you have prayed in. I have taken off my shoes and prayed in mosques such as the Grand Mosque in Kuwait City, and the smaller mosques around the streets of the city. I’ve prayed dhuhr, asr, or maghrib in historic Fatimid mosques in Cairo, in the famous Blue Mosque in Istanbul, and in the quiet prayer room of a small New Hampshire college campus. I’ve prayed on a carpet spread for two in a tiny student organization office in my campus and I’ve prayed in beautiful rooms dedicated for prayer. Most of us pray regularly at home, at the neighborhood masjid or local religious community center, at our university or school, or in our offices or workplaces. When you were travelling, perhaps you performed salaat while on a train or bus, on a boat or airplane, or maybe stopping by the road to pray in a clearing or a meadow, a stretch of desert, or the shores of a large river or the sea. Many of us have prayed in airport prayer-rooms, prayer-rooms in malls and department stores, hotels and conference centers, cricket or basketball fields. We pray in the homes of our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, our friends and neighbors. If you have a little carpet, or something clean to place your head on, be it a carpet, grass, sand, or anything else, you can perform salaat. What else can we learn from this hadith? At least five points in our day are punctuated by the obligatory
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salaat, or fardh. Then we have the dhuha prayer (after the sun has risen brightly, before noon), al-shaf’ wa al-watr, and all the other sunnah prayers in between. If Allah (SWT) in all His graciousness and infinite generosity has consecrated the whole world for prayer, then how can we repay His kindness except through prayer and thankfulness? In His wisdom, Allah (SWT) has made it easier for us to connect with Him, not only in our obligatory prayers, but every other time of day and night when we are awake. It sometimes feels like the age we are living in is the busiest, most distracting, distressing, and difficult time. We are constantly rushing to catch up on what we did not have time to do yesterday, just barely managing family and friends, work and studies, and everything in between. And in return, Allah subhana wa ta3la has given us time of respite and a time to regain a sense of strength and rejuvenation after communing with Him subhanahu. Prayer can sometimes be hard to fit in a tiring schedule every day, but once we realize how precious it is, we can’t be without it, and we realize that our whole day revolves around the next salaat, finding us eager to rush to complete wudhu and begin our prayer, our moment of thankfulness and worship and supplication for strength and support. Umm Habiba, the wife of the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: “If any Muslim servant (of Allah) prays for the sake of Allah twelve rak’ahs (of sunan, or no-obligatory prayers) every day, over and above the obligatory ones, Allah will build for him a house in Paradise, or a house will be built for him in paradise, and I have not abandoned to observe it thereinafter” (also reported by ‘Amr and Nu’man, Sahih Muslim Book 4, Hadith 1581). And for those of us who find that for the moment twelve is too great a number to add to our seventeen daily rak’ahs, then at least adding a singl e sunna pra yer to your day
can make all the difference. Continued on page 9
Spirituality / Life 8
By Tayyaba Syed, MBM Relationship Columnist
Image: Paul Prescott | Dreamstime.com
There is a plateau we all reach once we become regular at praying our 5 obligatory daily prayers. We are doing what is commanded of us as Muslims, and yet we feel like we are still not doing enough. It feels as if something may be missing. There are some simple ways to bring our prayers back to life. May Allah subhana wa ta3la give us the tawfeeq to become righteous believers and true worshippers of Him ameen. 1. Preparation When we are about to have a gathering, we make sure our homes are spotless and presentable. In the same way, when we pray salah, it is a private gathering between us and our Creator. We need to remember that we are standing in front of Allah subhana wa ta3la. It is a means for us to communicate with Him directly, so how should we make ourselves heard? The answer is simple: by purifying ourselves properly and making sure we present ourselves in a worthy manner. Our preparation for salah begins with wudu. If we concentrate while making wudu, it will help us focus more in our ibadah. Those places of our body that we clean in wudu will shine on the Day of Judgment insha mbmuslima.com
Allah. Wash those areas well and make sure we do not miss a spot! Wudu cleanses us of our sins throughout the day, and we would not want to stand in front of Allah subhana wa ta3la full of our wrong-doings. 2. Say what? How can we bring focus into our prayers when we do not even know what we are reciting during our salah? Go back and relearn the different components of prayer and why we do them. Learn the meaning behind our words. For example, when we go into sajood, we put ourselves into the lowest of positions and say “Glory be to The Most High.” That alone should keep us focused as to who we really are and what our purpose in this life is. 3. Timing is everything A big question is do we revolve our prayers around our schedules or our schedules around our prayers? Each day we should know where and when we will be praying each salah. We should know exactly when the next prayer will be coming in and try to pray each salah at its starting time. That will bring more barakah in our time throughout the day, instead of us trying to squeeze in prayer whenever it is convenient.
4. Extra credit There is a time in the day when Allah subhana wa ta3la approaches the lowest Heavens and asks which of His servants is calling Him. It is a time when a select few stand up in His remembrance, showing Him that He is dearer to them than their slumber. It is when there is no busyness or noise or worldly distractions. Peace and silence are abundant at this time, and Allah is listening. He is listening to those who wake up in the last third of the night from their sleep only to worship their Creator. This is the beauty and blessing of Tahajjud. It is a gift and privilege given by Allah subhana wa ta3la to those who truly work for it. Make the intention to wake up slightly earlier than Fajr and bask in Allah’s Mercy by praying Tahajjud. Start a phone tree and make a sincere effort to get noticed at a time when Allah subhana wa ta3la is so close to us. Make yourself recognizable as a servant who is ready to serve his Lord. Who best to show us how? Just follow the example of Allah’s beloved Messenger, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.
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Quran Challenge Take the time to learn, memorize, and internalize the tafsir of these 2 beautiful ayahs in March, bi’itnAllah.
(1) Certainly will the believers have succeeded: (2) They who are during their prayer humbly submissive Sahih International Translation, www.quran.com/23
Good resources Quran.com | IslamicNature.com | Tanzil.net |QuranExplorer.com
Convert Corner
By Brother Kyle Smith, MBM Columnist
Image: Bmkaysym | Dreamstime.com
Most converts have family members who are not Muslim. Since Muslims have several different stances on many issues, this sometimes causes tension within a convert’s family. For example, Muslims do not drink alcohol, while many non-Muslims see nothing wrong with drinking. Therefore, many converts are likely to have family members that have different views than their own on many issues. It is very important to realize that while you may have differing views from your family members, you should not tell them that the lifestyle they are living is wrong. Rather, you should lead by example. Instead of telling them, actually show them how Islam has made your life better.
Leading by example is much better dawah, and a much better representation of Islam than just preaching to others about how their lifestyle is wrong. Just think about how you appreciated it when people su ppo rt ed you r decision to convert to Islam. If they did support your decision to convert to Islam, it is clear that they did not say to you that you are living a wrong lifestyle. Therefore, you should treat others in the same way and with the same respect. In conclusion, if we want to prove that Islam is the truth, we should lead by example, through our actions rather than using lip service to tell others that their lifestyle is wrong.
Continuation of The Whole World Has Been Made a Place of Prayer for Us In his online magazine Prophetic Guidance, British Imam Ustadh Abu Essa Niamatulla wrote a beautiful article entitled “Keeping it Real in the Prayer.” In this article, Imam Niamatullah provides a truly eye-opening, one -of-a-kind comprehensive way to make each and every prayer new and special, meaningful and sincere in a way that shines with relevance and true power, every time you perform it. He includes things like varying the length of prayer, learning new ayat or suras to recite, or reading about the various dua’ included by the scholars for our ruku’, sujud, and other parts of the salaat. What was His reason for these tips? He mentions the late Shaykh al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy on him, who said that one of the greatest advantages of learning and using all the different sunnah wird/dua’/dhikr mentioned by the Prophet is that is leads to “hudhur alqalb, i.e. it makes your heart feel more alive and present in the moment.” Imam Niamatullah connects the vividness of the experience and the vibrant, energetic life of the prayer to the niyyah, saying that “this increased awareness and presence of the heart and thus the mind stems from changing our normative behaviors in any action, let along the prayer.” Putting our minds wholeheartedly into the salaat, and devoting our entire hearts to the prayer, make each salaat the greatest reward and comfort of the mu’min. Whenever you hear the call to prayer, or know the time of the new prayer, or even before you finally make it to bed, wherever you are and whatever time it is, if the place and time is right, perform the prayer. The world is our masjid and prayer rug, and you can lay out the rug wherever you wish, and make a sacred hallowed place all your own to be with Allah (SWT). May Allah (SWT) guide us all with His light and guidance and bring us to prayer and worship of Him, ameen.
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My Cocoon-Diaries Part I:
spirituality & everyday life 10
By Brother Gareth Bryant, MBM Columnist Author’s note: My Cocoon-Diaries are poems and/or general writings which contain self-reflections for me, how I’ve been living and how I should’ve not been living, over a significant portion of time that I’ve taken to limit my social-spheres and social-interactions. It’s been a time for me to dig deep within myself, to wrap myself in an anti-social cocoon, to find any and all problems that are within myself, in order to fix them with the help of Allah, of course. I know that a lot of people thought it strange of me to just take some steps back from my social-spheres and place limits on my general social-interaction. But, this has been a necessary move on my part, to figure out what exactly is wrong with me, as a Muslim, so that I can further tread the path of guidance, which is Islam, with as little personal obstacles in my path as humanly possible. This is my journey... ...Please, join me: I’ve decided that enough was enough. I’ve been tackling a lot of issues since the last failed marriage-attempt of mine had run its course. Honestly, there were so many things happening all at once. In fact during the time that the sister, (whom I was speaking with at the time) had called things off that I didn’t even take the time to absorb the fact that it was really over. I just accepted it as it was; another failed marriage-attempt. It was like I did not even care whether it had ended. Now, this may or may not have been a good thing for me, to not care, but that is the way it played out. I would say that the main reason why I chose to emotionally secure myself, via indifference, from this situation was because I was dealing with more pressing issues at the time. Like having to deal with some ignorant Muslims, who cared more about my dress, than the advice that I had given during a Khutbah1. That story, though, in and of itself, is for another post, for another day. Anyway, back to the present.... ...I was preoccupied with something else to truly encapsulate the fact that this sister was no longer willing to take things further. Honestly, based upon my track record, I was not even surprised that she opted out. I mean, marriage is the only thing that I have ever pursued in my entire life that I have been a constant and consistent failure at. No, I am not trying to acquire pity points here; I am being dead serious! From the time that I was 18 years old, failed attempt after failed attempt, after failed mbmuslima.com
attempt. But, when this particular sister (whom I felt really strongly about) called it quits, while here I was thinking that it might actually work, I suddenly came to a realization. That in light of everything else that had happened during that same weekend, plus the sister calling things off, I might have to accept that maybe the actual problem lies within me. Maybe I am the “bad-guy?” Maybe I am the arrogant, obnoxious jerk that some people have accused me of being lately? Upon that acceptance, it was then that I had decided to establish limitations on myself. I would have to be weary about which events I would go to, whom I would hang around with, and where I would generally hang out, etc. Now, whether this actually works, to help me improve, well I don’t really know, but hell...at least it’s worth a try! So, in short, those two particular incidents that I had mentioned earlier jump-started my self-reflection odyssey. To find out what is it about me that makes things fall apart in my life. What is it that has caused me to be “the man,” when it came to non-martial relationships, yet an utter failure, when it comes to pursuing a spouse? What is it about me that may cause some to always want to be around me and others to regret the day they ever met me? Yeah...I know, it is a lot to figure out, and I’ll probably never figure this out. Yet, I still must venture into this realm of self-evaluation and I have to do this on my own. I just hope that I truly do find a way to rise and improve, now. Before having to look back ten years from now and regret everything that I have ever done. Before viewing myself as a lifelong loser. My Yearning for Isolation: I wish I were still in the womb. I’d like to call it my birth-tomb. It is just like a Cocoon, in it I am wrapped inside. Divorced from the world, my perfect way to hide. Protected, unjudged, allowed to be free, and unplugged. No one’s here to disturb or mock me. I’m in a place no one can enter or see. My privacy is an actuality, not just a mere ideal. I want true peace of mind, something that’s real. In the outside world, I feel hated, unwanted and unloved. Gareth Bryant/2012
For more info. on Brother Gareth’s writing, visit: http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com
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food 13
By Sister Yvonne Maffei, MBM’s Halal Culinary Specialist
Ingredients - 1 cup quinoa - 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil - 1 cup stems, finely chopped (about 4-6 stalks) - 1 shallot, minced - 2 Roma tomatoes, diced - 3 cloves garlic, minced - 2 cups Swiss chard leaves, roughly chopped - freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Directions 1. Cook quinoa according to package instructions. Set aside on a serving platter. 2. In a large sauté pan over medium heat, warm the olive oil. 3. Sauté the Swiss chard stems and shallots until soft, about 3-4 minutes. Add the tomatoes and sauté until they have lost their firmness. 4. Add the garlic and Swiss chard leaves and continue to sauté until the leaves have softened. 5. Remove from heat and slide on top of the cooked quinoa and serve with freshly grated Parmesan cheese on top.
Yvonne Maffei is a food writer, recipe developer and the publisher of MyHalalKitchen.com, a halal food blog that offers recipes, tips and halal cooking techniques to readers.
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health & well-being
MBM FITNESS MOVES OF THE MONTH Check this out MBM Readers! Normally, we bring you one fitness move of the month, but this month we are bringing you two moves dedicated to your back health. Say bismillah and set your intention that inshaAllah after incorporating these moves regularly, your healthier, stronger and more flexible back will allow you to be in top shape for salah, as well as other forms of ibadah.
PSST‌ Listen up... Before all exercise moves, say bismillah and set your intention. Why are you investing your time to do this exercise? Is your ultimate goal to please Allah subhana wa ta3la?
Back Extension: 1. Start with your stomach on top of a stability ball and your knees on a fitness mat 2. With controlled motion, fall forward over the stability ball in a relaxed position 3. Using your back muscles, bring yourself up to the point where your back feels as though it is parallel with the ball 4. Your hands and arms should both be raised and extended straight out so they are also parallel with the ball 5. Hold this position for a count of 5. 6. Complete a set of 10 Bent-Over Raise: 1. Working with lighter weights, sit on a stability ball 2. Bend over in a way that your back becomes like a table or flat, even surface so that you can wrap your arms around the middle of your thighs 3. Hold the light hand weights and extend your arms straight up to your sides, so that they are almost parallel with the ground. Make sure to not lock your elbows. Make sure you do not hold the weights with a tight death grip 4. Bring your arms back down 5. Continue for 3 sets of 10 or 12, taking 1-2 minutes of rest between sets *An alternative to this move is to use no weight at all
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Image: Dreamstime.com
2 Exercises for a Healthy Back 14
brothers 15
How to Give Advice: Sunnah Style By Brother Kyle Smith, Brother’s Writer
It is very important that whenever we are advising others, we make sure to offer praise as well. Alhamdulilah, it is a great thing when brothers want to help others. Sometimes, however, we tend to h ave th e wrong appro ach . Occasionally, brothers may come off as being harsh. For example, brothers may tell another brother, “No! You are doing that all wrong. It has to be this way and that is the only way!”
Messenger of Allah Sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam said: “When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over my wrath.” (Qudsi, 001).
Now I am clearly exaggerating, but seriously, at times brothers do sound this way. This is not the right way to give someone advice.
So Allah’s subhana wa ta3la mercy supersedes his wrath, and the same can be said of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam. So why do we show harshness when giving advice to others, rather than actually showing mercy? Here is an example of how we can be merciful rather than harsh when giving advice.
The Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam was alway s nice whenever he gave others advice. Furthermore, in a hadith Qudsi, on the authority of Abu Hurairah, radiyAllahu 'anhu, who said the
Once, I heard a brother giving a khutbah say that he saw another brother drinking alcohol. So the khateeb told the brother “you are going to go to hell for drinking that.” Now I did not agree with
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what the khateeb said because only Allah Subhana wa ta3la can judge. Additionally, it was a harsh way to approach the other brother. So I decided to give the khateeb advice. When doing so I made sure to praise him. I started by saying “jazakAllah khair for giving that brother advice, because it is definitely not good that he was doing that.” However, in a gentle way I also added that I do not think that it is right to tell someone they are going to hell.” He agreed with me and said that he will not do that anymore, and that he was immature and hot blooded when he said that. He then thanked me for the advice. Alhamdulillah whatever good I have is from Allah Subhana wa ta3la. Therefore, we should always try to praise someone whenever we give them advice. We also need to make sure to be gentle with them, rather than being harsh.
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Imagine That! MODERN MUSLIM PARENTING WITH AMEERA RAHIM
I am always exploring volcanoes, rock climbing and catching fish. I run from dinosaurs, travel to the moon, swim the deep blue seas, and row my boat gently down the
stream. All from the comfort of my living room! Everyday my children and I go where our imaginations take us. My children love to act out their own stories
When children have positive ways of exploring their world, they learn several important skill and facts:
fun facts, games and stories to keep their imagination going.
1. They learn about their world around
One day we took our shovels and we went on a dinosaur hunt. That was after we pretended to be dinosaurs and running from the TRex's that stomped across the carpet!
2. They learn to solve problems
3. Critical thinking skills 4. Family bonding and togetherness 5. Life lessons
6. Independent Thinking
7. Social Skills 8. Healthy ways to explore the world
9. Fun way to spend free time 8. Healthy ways to explore the world Photographer: Ameera Rahim
of dragons and princesses with the superhero saving the day. We usually end our day telling our pretend story and there is always a request for more!
We use our pretend play -time to teach about life, if we go to the moon one day then we turn it into a fun lesson. We talk
about the moon and stars and at the end of the day we will read the book Goodnight Moon. It's a fun way to include
Even making playdough became a pretend play experience, as we pretended to cook our playdough and make pizzas. This has been the best way to teach our children. They have learned and gained so much from hands on experience and pretend play. It has really accounted for our children's love of learning and reading. We even make the books
Their eyes light up as they live their hearts dreams and exciting adventures in our home and when we venture outside also. It is important parents foster t h at s p e c i a l developmental characteristic, which is dramatic, pretend-play.
come to life and make it a real life experience! We will live the books in our living room! My son has been reading since he was two years old and part of that reason is because we love books and make them active and exciting! We have spent more time reading and then experiencing the books for ourselves as opposed to ju st w at ch i ng television shows all day. Life is full of many ways and places to really use that imagination. You are never too old to enjo y t h at , wh at happens is that we forget that we do enjoy it. You have that youthful spirit and energy that makes you feel half your age and in a special place. I must
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admit, pretend play makes you feel very youthful! I remember growin g up and climbing the trees, playing with my twin sister and we lived in our own world. Now as a mom of four, I enter the world of four different individuals on a daily basis and I learn something new about each through pretend play. As a mom I enjoy bouncing across the floor and pretending I just landed on the moon or putting up the tent and acting like the big bad wolf. My children and I have gotten closer, because we spend that special time together. We want our children to
grow up with wonderful memories of being with family and enjoying every moment. Children grow so fast and we often wonder: Where did the time go? Make the best of this young age, even at the age of 28 I feel good when I pretend play with my children. It brings back that special feeling that, we leave behind oftentimes as we get older. We often forget that joy and then in forgetting, we miss out on that wonderful part of childhood with our own children. Also when they are playing amongst themselves they spend time in each other’s
imaginative world, and they are entertained for hours. I find myself watching and smiling at them, children are amazing and have that innocence that makes them so special and unique. Parents, never underestimate the value of pretend play. It is not a waste of time, but time well spent. You can do so much with your children and foster that time, and add more educational experiences to it. Someone once said that what we do it is only limited by our imagination. That pretend play-time, inspires our children to be creative and use their
imaginations. We encourage parents to promote pretend play in their home. It can be easy as setting up a center in the home dedicated to pretend play such as puppets, dress up clothes, and big boxes! Their world is full of different ideas and letting them have an outlet to use their imagination is beneficial to their development. The skies are not the limit but only one of the stops that we can rest at…as Buzz Lightyear said best…we can go to infinity and beyond. What will you pretend to be today and where will you go? The possibilities are endless!
Ameera Rahim is a mom of four children. She resides in New York. She is part of the parenting team, along with her husband Ameer Idris and they are known as Habeebee Homeschooling. Often found blogging at habeebeehomeschooling.wordpress.com she provides support, advice, and resources for parents looking to provide a more hands on educational method to teaching. Ameera is also found on Facebook www.facebook.com/habeebeehomeschooling and has been homeschooling her children from the moment of conception. She shares her journey experiences and ideas with many readers. When she is not homeschooling she loves to bake bread traditionalmuslimah.blogspot.com
Five Minutes with Fatima A. Khan, relationship coach, MBM’s Marriage Columnist "You know it, and he knows it. "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace." And yet you can't stop worrying about your husband's dunya and akhirah, since he doesn't pray as often as he should. You are right to want the best for your spouse. Yet, you cannot help him if you are neglecting your own duties as a Muslimah. Recognize your powerful role as a wife, and lead by example. Establish regular prayer, make du'a for your husband to gain Allah's blessings in both worlds. Do not think of it as the least you can do, instead think of it as the most you can do, for it is your du'a that can change your destiny."
lifepepper.org
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Marriage Tip of the Month: How often do you and your spouse pray the last third of the night together? If it’s never, try it out. Maybe you can even go on a early morning Fajr sunrise date after.
Tightknot: A marriage blog for Muslim Women
tightknot.wordpress.com
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ISLAMIC TERMS EXPLAINED
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InshaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English, InshaAllah means „God willing‟. This is a very commonly used phrase, as Muslims believe God has power over everything. MashaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English , MashaAllah means 'Whatever Allah (God) wills'. Often, it is used as an expression of delight or achievement. JazakAllah khairan Simply translated from Arabic to English, jazakAllah khairun means „May Allah reward you for the good”. This is commonly used to thank someone or to acknowledge someone‟s effort. SubhanAllah In Arabic, SubhanAllah means „Glorious is Allah”. This is used when praising God. It is also commonly used as a exclamation like “Wow!”. Masjid The Masjid is simply the Arabic word for Mosque. Many Muslims refer to the Mosque as a Masjid. Masjids are primarily used for Salah (Prayer) Subhana wa’ta3la Arabic Praise used after the name of Allah meaning „glorious and exalted is He” Hijab Headscarf prescribed to Muslim women for modesty purposes Shahadah Declaration of Islamic faith. Assalamu Alaykum May peace be unto you.
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