Mazing magazine is vision put into practice. It’s a talented group of writers, artists, and idea-makers who want to inspire our generation to pursue creativity in spite of every obstacle, so that’s exactly what we’re doing. Through late-night brainstorm sessions and draft after draft, Mazing is the embodiment of its mission: celebrating young adulthood in all its unsteadiness. Finding inspiration amidst the chaos. Within these pages, we hope you find the motivation you’re looking for, to reach, to create, to hang, to roam, and maybe even survive. And we hope what you find here makes your life outside the page so much more.
HERE’S TO THE TRULY MAZING CONTRIBUTORS
www.mazingmag.com | @mazingmag
ESTY BAIN DESIGNER + WRITER
NATHAN FAN WRITER
JANELLE LYNNAE WRITER
SARAH SUTHERLAND WRITER
ISABEL MATA ILLUSTRATOR
ILIANA FELIX WRITER
KATIE SWALM WRITER
ILANA BAER POET
MYCAH BURNS PHOTOGRAPHER
LIZ WILSON WRITER + TYPOGRAPHER
MIKEY DIGGS WRITER + PHOTOGRAPHER
BETSY FREEMAN WRITER + ILLUSTRATOR
ANTHONY GUERRA ILLUSTRATOR
HANNAH GRONOWSKI WRITER
ANTONIO PEQUEÃ‘O IV WRITER
TIFFANY LAMBERT PHOTOGRAPHER
DAVIS JON ES WRITER
KO DY COWELL WRITER
NATASHA ‘POSHY’ SCHUYLER DESIGNER
RACHEL GILWIT WRITER
ALEA PEISTER WRITER + POET
SABRINA BELKNAP WRITER
MARISA CHOW ARTIST
JUAN RODRIGUEZ PHOTOGRAPHER
DAPHNE VAN DER OORD PHOTOGRAPHER
ANDREW OLSON WRITER
ALEXA HIGHSMITH WRITER
FAITH HANNA WRITER
VANESSA DELNAVAZ WRITER
MILLS BROWN ARTIST
HANNAH SHERMAN POET
MAGGIE SWOFFORD WRITER + POET
Section Editor | Craft + Hang
Section Editor | Impact + Roam
COVER IMAGE | Tiffany Lambert EDITORIAL SUPPORT | Ryan Shope & Max Dunn CR EATIVE SUPPORT | Liz Wilson MORAL SUPPORT | You Know Who You Are
If I were to imagine what it’s like to be a winter hiker in say, Colorado (no idea what that feels like), I would think standing at the base of a fourteener would inspire this cocktail of emotions: exhilarating possibility, weariness from how early I’ve already woken up, anticipated weariness for how much longer I have to go, and this pang of regret for not being warm and cozy at home—a pang I eventually stomp on with my hiking boot when I take my first step. KATHRYN SCHUYLER | EDITORIAL & CREATIVE DIRECTOR I have been thinking about the way winter seems to enunciate the dichotomy of outside and inside. Inside, there’s the feeling of being warm and safe and at home, surrounded with the comfort of belonging. Outside, the exaggerated sense of loneliness, like the little matchstick girl looking in at those people—the ones warm at home— from the grim and frosty streets.
But, like most dichotomies, this one is false. We could be in a familiar relative’s home and still feel utterly isolated. And still thrive on commiserating about said relatives over text with our friends. We could be hiking alone in the quiet snow and swell with purpose (but please don’t hike alone, it’s dangerous). And still, it could be lonely at the top, thinking of the long journey back down.
Obviously I’m really trying to pump this mountain metaphor for all it’s worth, given the ahem, strong visual direction of this issue. But what we see through this issue is the layeredness of that hike, the complexity of going and wanting to go, but also wanting to stay, and
In this issue, you’ll find our contributors wrestling with journeying and belonging. In our relationships, in our sense of home, even in our next party menu, Mazing Issue 5 is about carving a place for ourselves.
As young adults, we rarely know where we’re going or what we’re going to find when we get there, or let’s be honest, any signage indicating that we’ve arrived anywhere. But wherever you are at this moment, I’d like to invite you stay a while. Let me assure you—you may be at the crest, or at the summit, or at the trailhead—but wherever it is, I can definitively say that you are there now, and you will not be there forever. So take a moment. Feel the frost on your eyelashes or the warmth of the fire. The possibilities of singleness. The awkward sidestep in your career. The joy of having friends, even if they’re far away. Take it all in, and keep going.
Happy Trails, Kathryn
trying to belong in the meantime.
TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
Gratitude Mikey Diggs
• • • 18
Small Yeses Turn Into Big Yeses Hannah Gronowski
• • • 36
Navigating the Nuance of Political Correctness Kody Cowell
• • • 48
Dream Big & Never Compromise on Your Goals Sara Freitag
• • • 64
Part A/Part B, A Poem Hannah Sherman
• • • 83
In Pursuit of Beauty Faith Hanna
• • • 40
Good With Compass, A Poem Ilana Baer
• • • 67
Libraries of Life Vanessa Delnavaz
• • • 68
10 Great Reads for Expanding Your Creativity Katherine Kwong
• • • 84
Dominic Balli: An Artist Defining Culture Iliana Felix
• • • 88
A Brief Guide to Finding New Experiences Antonio Pequeño IV
• • • 90
You Can Choose Your Family Betsy Freeman
• • • 10
Hosting How-To’s: A Wintery Gathering Rachel Gilwit
• • • 23
The Art of the Millennial Break-Up Sarah Sutherland
• • • 28
Going Anyways, A Poem Maggie Swofford
• • • 32
You Shall Love Nathan Fan
• • • 52
Longing, A Poem Alea Peister
• • • 57
Friendships Across Relationship Status Davis Jones
• • • 78
During Our Snowy Walk, A Poem Maggie Swofford
• • • 94
Millennials and The Real Job Kathryn Schuyler
• • • 15
Playing Office on Instagram: New Ways We Talk About Work and “Adulting” Andrew Olson
• • • 33
Use Your Voice Liz Wilson
• • • 72
Workoholism Katie Swalm
• • • 80
Not So New Year New You Janelle Lynnae
• • • 44
Food Prep An Action Plan Katherine Kwong
• • • 61
You Never Know Dad Advice for 20-Somethings Maggie Swofford
• • • 74
How to Royally Live Your Cheap A$$ Life Betsy Freeman
• • • 93
Chinese American in China Marisa Chow
• • • 14
Finding Hope in the Home of the Present Alea Peister
• • • 20
Minimalist Travel Digital Nomad Packing List Esty Bain
• • • 31
Home, You’re a Warm Hug from an Old Friend Sabrina Belknap
• • • 58
Listening, A Poem Ilana Baer
• • • 60
In the Bleak Midwinter Alexa Highsmith
• • • 95
PHOTO BY MYCAH BURNS
YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FA M I LY WORDS BY BETSY FREEMAN PHOTOGRAPHY BY MYCAH BURNS
My siblings are my best friends. Please get the image of Little
the life you want to live.
Women out of your mind. We are a chaotic mess of different— ages (16 year spread), occupations, locations, interests,
We all have messy family histories. The hurt we experience
personalities etc. etc. It hasn’t been convenient to best friend
growing up plays a pivotal role in defining each of us and
each other, but we’ve made it happen. My eldest sister kicked it
how we see the world. As millenials, our favorite pastime is
off - As a young newly wed she invited two elementary school
blaming all our issues and struggles on our upbringing. It’s easy
kids (my brother and I) to come stay with her and her husband
and natural to want to run from the messiness and start fresh
in Santa Barbara for a week. She took off work and put on the
with new friends, and the idea of giving a fresh start to your
most fun kids camp you could imagine. The long days ended in
family is often overlooked. However, you’ve changed, and quite
4 salt-water soaked humans (my brother, myself, my sister and
possibly so has your family.
her husband who I’ve stolen as my brother whether he likes it or not) passed out on a futon having just had the best day of our lives. Camp Santa Barbara turned into an annual tradition, and believe it or not, a version of it continues to this day. From the earliest time I can remember, my sister told me I was one of her best friends and I couldn’t believe it. I’m ridiculously proud to call her mine. She showed me how to show up for someone and make them feel like a million bucks throughout all the ups and downs. She taught me how to make a good friend, but also the importance of making your family your friends.
“The fact that you are stuck with your family can be the worst or the best and it’s mostly up to you.” Making your family the most amazing friends of your life means you need to treat them that way, and disentangle them from the sentiments of “family obligation.” The fact that you are stuck with your family can be the worst or the best and it’s mostly up to you. Sometimes that means giving them a fresh start, taking stock and changing your own tendencies towards them, and perhaps most importantly, inviting your family into
“Back up and quit taking advantage of the obligated loyalty.” Building strong relationships with family starts by being open-minded and curious. Give your sister a chance to tell you about how she’s going to make that move to New York happen, and ask your mom about what she’s excited about this week. Maybe you are always getting hung up on your differences and annoyances, so find something new—be curious about your family members passion or pick up some hot topics that you talk about with your other friends (um relationships, cough). Everyone has an interesting story if you are willing to listen. A new fresh way of communicating is tough mostly because we have unhealthy yet comfortable patterns that we’ve built over time. Particularly with parents, you know you can be nasty and sling some highly-charged criticism, but at the end of the day you’ll probably still get an invite to Thanksgiving. Listen, this pattern is not doing your relationship any favors. Back up and quit taking advantage of the obligated loyalty. Watch your reactions and your words and show each of your family members the respect and value you so badly wish everyone would give to you. As soon as you start mixing up the pattern, they will too.
I want to put in this cute little disclaimer paragraph before I
on these people no matter where life leads gives me confidence
get too far along. I get it, some family members aren’t in a life
to go after my riskier dreams, never settle, and love others
zone to be someone you can get close to. There are realities of
with my whole heart. I can live wholeheartedly because I know
mental illness and deep rooted malicious behaviors that always
that even if my heart gets broken, my family will be there to
leave you hurt after any interaction.
help me pick up the pieces and put them back together just like they’ve done before. These people have been my blanket
Ultimately, I still think there’s something to be said for giving
of unconditional love in a world that will always tell me I’m
these family members a chance with an added step of setting
not good enough. At the end of the day, you can choose your
appropriate boundaries. Maybe you can’t spend much time
friends and you can choose your family to be your friends.
with a certain person, but you can be kind, curious, and encouraging when you do see them in passing or around the
“I don’t want more friends,” said no one. Ever.
holidays and such. You never know what could happen when you start to break up a pattern and start a new chapter.
“These people have been my blanket of unconditional love in a world that will always tell me I’m not good enough.” A crucial part of breaking up the pattern and friend-crushing your family members is honestly clocking in sloppy fun times. Like any good friend, you bond over the mems. Invite them into your life and step into theirs. Have you ever gone to a concert with your brother? Bet you’ve never thought to invite your dad to that new cocktail bar you’ve been wanting to try. Not only invite them into your life, but prioritize showing up for theirs. Express you care with your money and your vacation days by showing up in their lives and choosing to have a great time. Be there cheering at their bike race/performance/birthday, meet him/her at their favorite spot, order dessert and a full bottle of wine. We all know how to make a new friend in a new city/job/house and have fun. Use those skills and get to work. The relationships I’ve built with my family are some of the most valuable things I have to my name. The fact I can count
The relationships I’ve built with my family are some of the most valuable things I have to my name.
CARTOON BY MARISSA CHOW
W H AT ’ S H A P P E N I N G W I T H T H E I N S TA G R A M P E O P L E : MILLENNIALS AND
WORDS BY KATHRYN SCHUYLER // T YPOGRAPHY BY POSHY SCHUYLER
OR DOES IT JUST Is it just my Instagram feed, or do the majority of millennials
really pay their bills from travelling around pushing products
According to a study conducted by the U.S. Small Business
and writing semi-intuitive motivational captions? Alright,
Administration, “In 2014, less than 2 percent of Millennials
that’s a bit of artistic exaggeration, but the rise of the social
reported self-employment, compared with 7.6 percent for
influencer as a career choice says something about the
Generation X (born 1963 to 1981) and 8.3 percent for Baby
millennial life strategy. According to Google Trends, the
Boomers (born 1944 to 1962).” So turns out, the hoards of
number of United States Google searches for “How to become
self-employed millennials out being the captains of their fates
an influencer” more than tripled in popularity in November
are actually an illusion; there are significantly fewer millennials
2018 as compared to the same time in 2017.
who’ve made the big bucks being self-employed than have our parents, despite the perception that Baby Boomers are wound
Likewise, the search terms “How to work for yourself ” and
up in their long-time careers and pensions.
“How to travel for work” have risen steadily in relative interest since the start of Google’s trend data in 2004—a 161% and
Don’t take it too hard though—research from the Kauffman
387% increase respectively over those fourteen years. This
Foundation shows that a lot of factors are working against
could mean one of two things: one, that more people believe
millennial entrepreneurs, like precipitous effects of the Great
Google searches are a viable first step in making drastic career
Recession, and the fact that we just have less life and work
decisions (sounds about right). Or two, that as a culture, our
experience to bring to the table. We sure are a spunky bunch
priorities are actually changing.
The appearance on social media and otherwise is that more
and more millennials are pushing the envelope on not only unorthodox living situations (#vanlife), but also taking some serious liberties with bringing home the bacon. As someone who rocks the 9-5 desk job at an established company, I have definitely stood in a small circle of young adults and bonded over the special fact that we all have “real jobs,” i.e., no, we can’t make it to mid-afternoon coffee and jogging tomorrow, but feel free to chat us on our work email around that time. The question is—Google search data and Instagram observations aside—are millennials actually ditching the “real job” for more glamorous alternatives, or does it just feel that way?
If less than two percent of millennials would actually identify as self-employed, where are all these freelance travel bloggers coming from? That got me thinking about the people in my life that I actually know (myself included)—people with side hustles. According to a recent study conducted by CareerBuilder, 39% of workers aged 18-24 have a second job, as well as 44% of workers aged 25-34. Financial reasons aside (I know, I know, the Great Recession), millennials are more inclined to seek work for personal fulfillment than our predecessors, according to the Kauffman Foundation. That CareerBuilder survey also noted that 30% of millennials making over $75K per year still work a second job, just for kicks. The New York Daily News has gone so far
as to dub this job strategy the “portfolio career,” in which one experiments with their skill sets across a series of part-time jobs, either to figure out what they’re best at, or just for the joy of variety. Does the IG bio, “lifestyle blogger - health coach actress” ring any bells?
WORKIN G REMOTE While fulfillment is a big factor for millennial careers, I would be remiss not to include our generational affinity for freedom and flexibility. Turns out, you can make it to mid-afternoon coffee and jogging, or travel on weekdays, with a little thing called remote employment. A survey from FlexJobs in 2015 showed that 85% of millennials want telecommuting opportunities, and boy are we pushing for them. Big companies like Dell and Deloitte have been tracking the influence of remote working opportunities on their bottom line, and the number of the U.S. workforce that works remotely more than half the time has more than doubled since 2005, according to FlexJobs. So what that means for our Instagram people: yes, you can still grab that overhead shot of a morning croissant in Paris, but you might have to wake up at 3 am to tune in for a conference call. As they say, do it for the ‘gram. Despite all the glamorous poolside posting, maybe millennials aren’t actually living our best lives all that unconventionally. What we are doing is toying with the systems in place—moving our offices online, trying to turn dream jobs into real jobs while still working a couple of real jobs, and yes, posting about our adventures incessantly. Our priorities are shaping and expanding the priorities of our companies, from less stuffy workplace culture to more vacation hours. And we definitely are fueling our dreams with Google searches, because you never know if searching “How to make money online” won’t work if you don’t try it.
G R AT I T U D E
G R AT I T U D E WORDS BY MIKEY DIGGS // PHOTOGRAPHY BY JUAN RODRIGUEZ
The human spirit is perpetually thirsty for progress. All of our
that we can really ask for that makes everything feel like a gift.
desires to move upwards and outwards into new ventures, roles,
A wise person once told me: “Depression (in the non-medical
responsibilities, and tax brackets can culminate in great things,
sense) means you’re living in the past. Anxiety means you’re
but somehow also have the propensity to land us in a negative
living in the future. Contentment means you’re living in the
mental state. How do we cope with the incessant stress of
present.” It is that same contentment in this piece of wisdom
always wanting more, or better, or different things, no matter
that reminds us to be grateful with what we have, and how
how high we climb, or how much we accomplish?
that spirit and posture of gratefulness is something that we inherently share with the world around us.
As we continue down the path of life, it becomes increasingly clear that if we are to live with any degree of happiness, we
Real, concrete progress is made when we step forward from
must learn how to quell the least productive of these desires
solid ground. Being content with where one is in life and living
with a posture of gratitude.
with a spirit of gratitude grounds us, and allows us to act in a way in which our inner thoughts and feelings coincide more
And no, I’m not talking about thanking your barista for your
naturally with our actions. Thus, the desire for progress is best
20oz half-caf Chai tea latte with almond milk and a ¼ pump
harmonized with a spirit of gratitude. Though desperation
of hazelnut as you hurriedly rush out the door on your way to
and trial are excellent motivators, our best work and clearest
a half-caffeinated episode of road rage. I’m talking about real
thinking come forth from a relaxed, peaceful state.
gratitude: a state of thankfulness that makes you smile as you realize that you own a good pair of shoes to wear to work.
At risk of sounding stereotypically western: I strongly advocate for an attitude of gratitude. Not in your ideal apartment or
Gratitude is a choice, a discipline, and a mindset. It’s
home? Try being thankful for having a roof over your head that
something that we have to practice every day if we want to
doesn’t leak. Not driving your ideal car? Try being thankful
make it stronger, more accessible, and more prominent in how
for having a car that grants you the necessary autonomy for
we see and approach the world.
upward mobility in the United States. Not working your ideal job? Try being thankful for the ability to pay your bills on time.
Gratitude has the ability to shape the world around us. Think about the people you’ve met in life that seem to be so at peace
Once you reduce your blessings to things you experience on
with themselves that you can feel their peace when you’re
a daily basis, you’ll see how blissfully easy it is to be grateful
around them. All of those people are at peace with the world
for what’s in your life at this very moment. This gratitude will
in part because they are grateful and content with what life has
spill into your daily life, and grant others around you that live
given them up to this point.
anxiously the permission to understand that life is still good, even if they didn’t get the job, or the hot date, or the good
Some of these people have next to nothing. Some of these
Black Friday deal on a new TV.
people work undesirable jobs. Some of these people are so engulfed in doing what they love that nothing else really
Grant yourself the permission to move forward. Exercise
matters to them. The one thing they all have in common is that
contentment and gratitude with what you have right now, so
they are all grateful for the one life they have been given, and
that you have a platform of mental and emotional peace to
where this life has them in this present moment.
start from, no matter where it is you’re going.
You see, it’s the understanding that the present moment is all
OF THE PRESENT
WORDS BY ALEA PEISTER // PHOTOGRAPHY BY MYCAH BURNS
amount of money. A year and a half ago I graduated from college, and ever since then this room has been a refuge to me. My grandma’s love is often expressed in the gifting of practical necessities to others. Thus, my home in this room is a gift she has given — not something I have earned, not something I own or fully command, but something I inhabit. However, it is a gift I have habitually regarded with dissatisfied frustration. Why can’t I afford to rent my own place? Why is this room so small, so stuffy sometimes, so much like a dorm room? It makes me feel as if I have not, in fact, moved on from my student days, as if I’m still essentially a teenager.
“But I begin to wonder whether, in regarding my situation this way, I place unnecessary emphasis on permanence as a marker of home and, by extension, adulthood.” I have spent a lot of time and energy in the last year and a half in the attempt to keep my heart distanced from this little home. If I snuggle in and get comfortable, will I be stuck here? If I learn to love this place, won’t I lose my motivation to move on? What if making a home for myself here means I’ll never I often feel like my adult life has not started yet. As if I, though a twenty-four-year-old college graduate, am still six years old and playing house with my anxious pretensions to maturity, stability, and community. I long to find my place in the world, to establish a home of my own that is warm, welcoming, consistent — and mine. Yet these days, I lack the resources to do so. Right now, for instance, I am seated on the floor in a room I rent from my grandma. I live here for a shockingly small
reach my full potential? But I begin to wonder whether, in regarding my situation this way, I place unnecessary emphasis on permanence as a marker of home and, by extension, adulthood. It is true that my money is frustratingly tight all the time and that my circumstances are correspondingly limited. It is tempting to dwell on these frustrations, and in so doing see the present as unworthy of my hopes and dreams. Such unease provides a sort of comfort, a protection from the reality of the place I inhabit. If this place is not worthy of me, then I don’t
THESE LITTLE MOMENTS A R E I M P O R TA N T. T H E Y A R E THE WHOLE WORLD... have to get too close to it. It isn’t really my home — that’s
trails, my grandma’s kitchen — are all homes to me. They keep
coming for me somewhere in the rose-colored, daydreamy
me where I am.
future. And I must recognize that, once I leave to “start my life,” there This comforting distance is deceptive and dangerous. For what
is no guarantee I’ll ever revisit this time, this place, and what
are we, if not embodied creatures bound to the times and
they are to me right now. This home is precious just as it is,
places we inhabit? What happens to our souls when we ignore
precisely because it is fleeting.
or distance ourselves from the heart of the home we inhabit now, today, in this moment? Regardless of the difficulties I face in the confusing, muddled world of post-grad life, I have still found the gift of rich
“Whether I like it or not, home is wiser than I and beckons me into its waiting arms.”
community with local friends. I live in a lovely place. I have good work to do. And even if my bedroom is not the home
I have been making new efforts to simply see. To sit with the
I always dreamed of having when I became an adult, it is an
shaft of light across a wall that caught my heart off guard at
extravagant gift, an incarnate reminder of my grandma’s love
5pm, the little bird that sang on a gate while I sipped coffee
for me, a wellspring of generous grace.
alone, the way the sunset filled the sky when I walked to dinner with friends.
What, then, does it take to find home everywhere, even when we live in places we have not chosen, may not like, and perhaps
These little moments are important. They are the whole world,
intend to leave behind?
because they are our world — whether we’re traversing Alaskan mountains or sitting on a bench in the concrete jungles of
“Home, then, is whatever anchors me in intimacy with the present.” Maybe home needs practice more than creation or ownership. And maybe this practice is simply that of noticing: the choice to exist attentively in whatever place is currently mine to love and know. Home, then, is whatever anchors me in intimacy with the present. Thus, the people and places I know and love — my church, bedroom, favorite coffee shops, friends, family, familiar walking
Orange County. Late evening light is golden in both places. Geese will cross the autumn sky whether I am here or there. Who am I, then, to declare this place and time unworthy? Whether I like it or not, home is wiser than I and beckons me into its waiting arms. All I must do to be received is open my eyes and see.
HOSTING HOW-TO’S: A W I N T E R Y G AT H E R I N G TIPS, BOOZE & RECIPES FOR ELEVATED CL ASS & A SUBTLE HUMBLE BRAG WORDS BY RACHEL GILWIT // PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIKEY DIGGS
PRO TIPS PREP AHEAD OF TIME Prepping ahead of time is the #1 way to ensure you have a good time at your own party. Plan & prepare the food, drinks,
KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS Look—everyone has their strongsuits. Embrace yours, and for whatever your weakness is, make it the potluck item. Mine is desserts.
and worst case scenarious so you don’t have to miss out on the mingling. Keep your stress level low by allowing people to
USE YOUR DRINKS WISELY
serve themselves, and under no circumstances should you sweat
Have the guests make their own signature drink with printed
about the dirty dishes until afterwards.
instructions of which cocktails you have provided the ingredients for so that you do not have to play bartender the
BA LA N C E FRESH WITH PANTRY ITE MS Round out your farmer’s market finds with simple items like go-to crackers or pretzels.
whole night. Or if new people arrive, making them a drink or serving them wine could be a great way to ask a few questions and get to know them.
BALSAMIC PROSCIUTTO FLATBREAD
DÉCOR - Wood cutting boards - Herbs such as fresh-cut thyme or evergreen cuttings - Tie in colors that are already within your home and your table - Get fancy AF by including card labels for all your food iteams
PREPWORK SB P MA DO
Store bought: cheese, meats, tapenade, hummus Pantry: roasted chickpeas, nuts, crackers, popcorn kernels Make Ahead: carmelized onions, roasted butternut squash, meatballs Day Of: cut fruit, cut vegetables, slice bread, roast brussels w/bacon, balsamic reduction, popcorn
SB BUTTERNUT SQUASH FLATBREAD
MA BACON-WRAPPED BRUSSEL SPROUTS
FLATBREADS Cooking Prep/Cook Time: 20 minutes/10 minutes Makes: 8 flat breads Toppings pictured: pear, prosciutto, balsamic glaze and gruyere, bacon, squash, sage I N G RE D I E N TS 1 ½ cup all-purpose flour 1 ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda ¾ tsp Salt ¾ cup Greek yogurt Vegetable oil I N S T RU C T I O N S
1. Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add yogurt and mix until the flour is mixed in (will be in lumps). 2. Pour mixture onto a cutting board dusted with flour. Knead the dough until it is smooth; add more flour so that it does not stick to the board. Divide dough into 8 pieces and roll into balls. 3. With a rolling pin (I used a swell bottle because I didn’t have one), roll out each ball into ¼ inch thick pieces. 4. Heat a pan with a 1/2 tsp vegetable oil. Cook the dough in the pan, flip over after 3 minutes or so until the bottom is golden brown. Cast iron skillets are fantastic heat conductors but a regular pan will do. Toppings:
SPICED POPCORN DO I NGRE D I E NTS Popcorn kernels Butter Cayenne Pepper Garlic Powder Salt Cumin I NSTRUCTI O NS 1. Heat a large pot with 1 T vegetable oil
1. Coat sliced butternut squash with olive oil, place on a sheet pan and roast at 425 degrees for 35-45 minutes until golden brown and soft. Sprinkle cheese over bread and place in oven until melted (about 5 minutes). Fry sage leaves in olive oil until crispy. Top bread with squash, bacon bits, and sliced sage leaves. 2. Pour 1 cup of balsamic vinegar into a saucepan; bring to a boil and reduce to simmer for 10-15 minutes. Spread bread with goat cheese. Add very thinly sliced pear (figs would be great also!) and sliced prosciutto. Drizzle with balsamic reduction.
2. Pour enough kernels to coat the bottom of the pot in an even layer (this ensures it will fit when popped and that there will not be uncooked kernels). Cover with a lid and monitor cooking on medium heat. Listen for popping sounds slowing down before uncovering and pouring into large mixing bowl. 3. In the same pot, melt butter. Pour over the popped corn. 4. Sprinkle desired seasoning. Featured picture was sprinkled with cayenne pepper, garlic powder, salt and cumin to taste (about ½ tsp each).
BACON-WRAPPED BRUSSEL SPROUTS DO I N GR E DI E N TS 1 pound bacon
BLACK RUSSIAN OR WHITE RUSSIAN I NGRE D I E NTS
20 Brussel sprouts
1 oz coffee liquor 2 oz vodka
I N ST RU CT I O N S 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 2. Cut bacon slices in half. Cut Brussels in half-length wise. 3. Wrap each Brussel in half piece of bacon. Lay on ungreased baking sheet.
Splash heavy cream (hold back if black) I NSTRUCTI O NS Add all ingredients a glass filled with ice, top with cream and stir.
Optional: brush each piece with maple syrup. 4. Bake for 45 minutes or until bacon is crispy. Serve with toothpicks.
MEATBALLS IN SPICY TOMATO SAUCE MA SPIKED CIDER
I NGRE D I E NTS Meatballs:
IN GR E D I E N TS
1 pound ground meat (beef or turkey)
1 star anise
3 whole cloves
½ cup seasoned bread crumbs
1 cinnamon stick
¼ cup grated parmesan cheese
4 ½ cups apple cider
1 T chopped fresh parsley (if dried use ½ T)
1 T orange juice, bourbon
1 T chopped fresh basil leaves (if dried use ½ T) ½ tsp of each: garlic powder, onion powder, crushed red pepper flakes
IN S T RU C T I ON S
1. Bring all ingredients to a boil in a pot,
1 T crushed red pepper flakes
simmer for 5-10 minutes. Remove from heat
12 oz jar marinara sauce
and strain into a pitcher. 2. In a mug or glass, add 2 oz bourbon and 1
I NSTRUCTI O NS
cup of the cider mix
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
3. Garnish with orange slice and stick of
2. In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients together until combined.
3. Roll into balls (about the size of a ping pong ball) and place on a non-greased baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes. 4. In a sauce pan, heat up the jarred sauce with the red pepper flakes. Add meatballs to sauce when out of the oven and simmer on low heat for 30 minutes. Serve in pot on very low or place in crock pot on warm while guests serve themselves. Serve with sliced baguette.
THE GIFT OF THE
WORDS BY SARAH SUTHERL AND
“People say you always bring your past into your relationship. You also bring your past into every break-up as well.”
ARTWORK BY MILLS BROWN
conversation. It just, stopped. The normal I grew accustomed to was suddenly very different. Date nights were no longer occupied. I couldn’t text a joke or snap a picture of something that reminded me of him.
On a Friday, we cuddled while watching CollegeHumor
People say you always bring your past into your relationship.
videos and less than a week later he told me it was over at the
You also bring your past into every break-up as well. I felt
beach. There wasn’t a big fight, any mistakes, and barely any
abandoned, every experience compounding into the thought
that I’m not worthy enough to stay and fight for. Within a day, all this self-love I had for myself began to chip away. Especially since this was not my choice.
“The hardest part about a breakup isn’t to let go of the relationship, it’s to not let go of yourself.”
Comedian and The Daily Show’s host Trevor Noah wrote in his memoir Born a Crime, “Being chosen is the greatest gift
When my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I was surprised by
one can give to another human being.” In the beginning, it
the level of support I received, and also how unhelpful it was.
wasn’t easy to assimilate and make space for someone in my
Confused, I turned to every source I knew of to understand
life. I still felt the pull of single tendencies, to only think of
what happened; friends, family, my faith, and of course, the
myself and not worry about how my actions affected someone
Internet. “Exercise more, get a haircut, go on a solo trip, enjoy
else. I started to feel anxious. But, there was a moment where
singleness, date a bunch;” “You deserve better;” “Give it time.”
I quieted the insecurities and fears in my head and decided to trust the words he told me. He said he wanted to commit to
It grew into a cacophony of voices that neither provided
me. He chose me, and instead of running away, I decided to
comfort nor helped me accept the breakup. And I realized later
choose him as well.
why. All the advice had one central message: Focus on loving yourself.
“Freedom isn’t being flexible and ready to seize any unpredictable moment. It’s being able to share your authentic self.”
There was a slight problem. I already do. When we met, I was mentally and physically the healthiest I had ever been. I cut my long hair above my shoulders. I took a solo trip for two weeks across the country. I got a tonsillectomy,
In casual dating, I’d grown accustomed to the game of “getting-
was exercising a ton, and eating super healthy. I quit a job I
to-know”. I’d repeat the same few stories, explaining interests
was unhappy in and found a new one that was more fulfilling.
and hobbies, strengths and weaknesses. But in a relationship, I
I no longer felt afraid. I felt confident, strong, and capable.
found I didn’t have to explain myself every time. After a certain point, he just knew. We still learned new things about each
My relationship continued my personal growth and taught
other everyday, but we didn’t have to start from ground zero. I
me how much love I had and was willing to give. My ex
got to share new stories that I’ve always wanted to share.
completely changed my life. Normally that means the relationship was unhealthy or fundamentally flawed due to
It redefined freedom. Freedom isn’t being flexible and ready to
dependency. That’s not true. He made me learn more of who I
seize any unpredictable moment. It’s being able to share your
was and who I wanted to become.
authentic self. In this relationship, I found acceptance. I felt loved for my wit, admired for my intelligence, and valued for
The hardest part about a breakup isn’t to let go of the
my compassionate heart. I felt seen.
relationship, it’s to not let go of yourself. I knew who I was
separate from a relationship, and I now knew who I was
Pain is undesirable, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. This
in a relationship. I didn’t know who I was with a broken
pain tells me the relationship was meaningful. It tells me it was
relationship. And getting to know that person was not fun.
good. It tells me that I truly was ready for one. And it tells me that I really did love him.
“Pain is undesirable, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable.” I found myself suffocating under doubt, uncertainty, and a lot of pain. I wondered if I made a mistake in choosing him. I tried analyzing if I projected too much of what I wanted him to be. All the reasons he stated for leaving chipped away this confident, self-assured person I fought so hard to build. I began to feel ashamed for standing up for myself, to be the light I knew I was. It felt like I wasn’t just betraying my feelings for my ex, but that I was betraying myself. I felt that something was wrong with me. That it was my fault I couldn’t get over this and take care of myself. But then I wondered where this pressure to be okay was coming from.
That’s the risk of love. The people you love the most also have the greatest capacity to hurt you the most. The truth is every breakup is different because every person and every relationship is different. At the end of the day, the only opinion and voice that matters is yours. Although I fundamentally disagree with his choice, I do accept it. I will always think fondly on us because he taught me more about myself than I could on my own. A relationship is a gift, and a breakup is technically a return. But a breakup can also be a gift, just a repurposed one.
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