Page 1

PORTSMOUTH’S NEWEST

FREE LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

ISSUE 1

A chat with TV Comedian

Mark Watson Catch up with

Orlando Bloom and his role in the ‘Three Musketeers’

Frequent freshmen ! s a p x u a f

FUNKY FOOD FETISHES For those Halloween tricksters

HANGOVER CURES

Getting you back on top for the next fresher party

I’M

H ow t o r han dle younce long dis t a p! hook-u

NEWS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | HUMOUR

FR

…checks in with Mayhem!

PI C

K

M

E

EE

U

P

Video DJ…

OCT 2011 | MAYHEM!


A WORD FROM THE TOP!

Founder Daniel Tidbury Project Manager Felicity Patrick Editor Mia Habens Graphic Design Tidbury Design Staff Writers Mia Habens Edward Couzens-Lake Contributing Writers Felicity Patrick Sam Stockley Joshua Moore Jennifer Le Roux Special Features Felicity Patrick Nightlife Paparazzi Mick Wythe Liam Deluchi Fashion Photography Tidbury Photography Promotions Felicity Patrick Daniel Tidbury Jennifer Le Roux Sales/Marketing Simone Sarsfield Jennifer Le Roux Distributed by: The Mayhem! Ambassadors Director Daniel Tidbury Publisher Tidbury Media 023 9229 4408 hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk The Clock Tower, 44 Castle Rd, PO5 3DE www.mayhemmagazine.co.uk Mayhem! is a free light entertainment magazine dedicated to relieving Portsmouths 18–30yr-olds of the pressures of everyday life. Among course-work, crowded classrooms, boring professors, a-hole bosses and messy roommates, Mayhem! offers a welcome distraction for those just trying to get away from it all. Keep up to date with the lastest trends, fashions and interviews with our monthly instalment available to pick up from the countless distribution point scattered across the city! at the beginning of each month. © Copyright 2011. All rights reserved, Tidbury Media

EDITORS

LETTER

OMG… I can’t believe it’s really here – the very first edition of Mayhem! We’ll be throwing this little beauty together every month for anyone in search of a bit of frisky-fun or light relief from the stress of uni deadlines or a-hole bosses... As issue one hit the stands in October, we’re setting the spooky scene with a Halloween special! For tips on how to throw the perfect Halloween bash and what to wear, check out from page 65. Then, Mayhem! is here to help you get over the post-Halloween hangover with a few of our own remedies on page 74. We’ve also got some fantastic interviews, dating tips, funky fashion, money-off vouchers and much, much more! You could even be in with a chance to win a meal for two at Jamie’s Italian! Enjoy!

Mia Habens @MAYHEMMAG

Mia Habens | Editor THE MAYHEM MAGAZINE OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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WRITERS • RESEARCHERS • PHOTOGRAPHERS • DESIGNERS • DISTRIBUTORS

NEEDS

YOU WE’RE LOOKING FOR CONTRIBUTORS! GET IN TOUCH NOW! If you think you’ve got what it takes to be part of the team behind the Portsmouth’s NEWEST lifestyle magazine…

hello@mayhemmagazine.co.uk

6

MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011


WHAT’S INSIDE!

PORTSMOUTH’S NEWEST

 FREE LIFESTYLE MAGAZINEISSUE1

      

     

   



     

How to r handle you ce long dis tanp! hook-u

For those Halloween tricksters

Getting you back on top for the next fresher party

I’M

Frequent freshmen faux-pas!

  

PI

FR

CK

M

E

EE

U

P

 

   NEWS | SPORTS | MUSIC | FILM | BEAUTY | FASHION | HUMOUR

OCT 2011!   

08 A chat with Portsmouth alumni Frazer Irving. 12 How to handle your long distance relationship. 14 Common mistakes freshman make. 16 We catch up with TV comedian Mark Watson. 18 Shoe-string dating! 21 Say ‘ahh’... A guide to staying on top when you’re feeling like crap.

25 Get these gadgets in your life. 26 Roommates from hell, and how to avoid them. 28 Bewitched – For the girls! 32 ‘The Don’ investigates‌ Fashion! 41 How to make people like you! 42 Mayhem! Talks to Orlando Bloom about his up coming movie.

60 UNCOVERING THOSE HALLOWEEN SUPERSTITIONS 62 TOP 10 HARBINGERS OF HALLOWEEN HORROR 64 PIMPED PUMPKINS 65 HOW TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A SLAG THIS HALLOWEEN 66 OUR TOP TIPS ON HOW TO THROW A HALLOWEEN PARTY

PA

70 FUNKY FOOD FETISHES

46 We get the low down on Hevyfest from Zebrahead. 50 Beat Ä Maxx tells us what it’s like to be jet setting Video DJ.

46 E G

72 Hangover cures for those rough mornings‌ or afternoons! 74 6 Must-try sports this autumn.

KEN OUR DRUN Y R O F T EM! LOOK OU UR MAYH O H T I W S 54-59 MATES ON PAGE . .. S T N E MOM OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

INTERVIEWED BY FELICITY PATRICK

PORTSMOUTH UNI’S ALUMNI SUCCESS STORIES!


PORTSMOUTH UNI’S ALUMNI SUCCESS STORIES!

Mayhem! caught up with Frazer Irving, a British comic book artist known for the 2000 AD series Necronauts. He’s also a former Portsmouth University Student! We hear what he’s been up to since his Pompey days. Did the University and City meet your expectations? My expectations were unreasonable. I expected fields of poppies, rainbow clouds and hundreds of cool musicians with which I could form an ensemble to revolutionise the music industry. This is what happens when one reads biographies of people like David Bowie.

What have you been up to since your days at Portsmouth University?

What did you study at Portsmouth University? It was the BA Illustration.

What did you get in your degree? A “Desmond”. If no-one understands what that is, then clearly I’m terribly old fashioned and out of touch with modern society.

Why did you choose Portsmouth? It was close enough to London (home) that I could trek back if I needed to, and it was by the sea. Plus the write-up in the UCAS booklet said good things about it.

Ageing, eating, walking, sleeping, nookie, drawing, singing, jumping etc. I started off on the dole, then I went into the wonderful world of temping, then back to the dole, then I started drawing comics for money and have been doing that constantly since then.

Did you always want to be an illustrator? What else had you considered?

We hear that you What was it like sold sex toys before working with making it big time. DC Comics? Did you ever intend DC are cool, they pay for this to be a me promptly and they full-time business? seem to like my work I worked as an office boy for a company that sold them, so fortunately the chance of this becoming a full time career was very slim. Unlike many of the sex toys we had to flog to old men in Tyne and Wear.

Can you tell us more about 2000AD? It’s a British anthology comic that is only five years younger than I am! It represents the British comic talent to the world and is where I got my first proper professional break.

How did you get your work into 2000AD? Persistence and luck.

enough to keep hiring me. The editors are polite and professional and they throw wicked parties.

What are you currently working on? Current paid gig is XOMBI, which is a DC comic about some dude who is immortal… it has nuns with guns, golems, flying skull fortresses and stuff and is loved by the critics.

Where are you living now? One of the many sprawling suburbs of Londinium, to the north of Portsmouth where the mighty metal carriages thunder through the tiny cobbled streets.

When I was but a small child I thought I would be an actor, but after several traumatising experiences treading the boards I realised this was not my path. Art was indeed my very close second choice, and luckily I ended up in the field I liked the most, that being comics. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

9


PORTSMOUTH UNI’S ALUMNI SUCCESS STORIES!

What can we expect to see from you in the future? Well, once I am Emperor Irving you will have the joy of seeing me on all currency. In the short term I will be completing Gutsville for Image comics later this year after a horrendous three year gap. More secret work from DC early next year plus my super secret digital comics project sometime next year as well.

Have you got any words of wisdom for the current students of Portsmouth University? Don’t fry pistachio nuts.

Finally have you got any advice for those wanting to follow in your footsteps and make it as an illustrator? Persistence is the key, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. Poverty, depression and endless hours alone with the ear shattering silence of a cold and lonely room are but a few of the beasts one must vanquish in order to enter the hallowed halls of the Artist’s club. It’s not for the weak willed or easily distracted. On the plus side, every day I go to work in my pants, and I never have to wear a tie or even deal with actual people if I don’t want to.

for more info or to follow Frazers progress Checkout: www.frazerirving.com/ 2009/07/madness.html

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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WHATEVER IT TAKES!

WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

HOW TO SURVIVE

A LONG DISTANCE

RELATIONSHIP 8IFOUIFMPWFPGZPVSMJGF JTPVUPGUPXOBOEZPV¤SF OPUTVSFXIFUIFSUPUBLF UIFSJTLXJUIBMPDBMIPUUZ  .BZIFNJTIFSFXJUITPNF IBOEZUJQTPOIPXUPLFFQ ZPVSNJUTGSPNXBOEFSJOH I SPY If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then what the hell does it do to your libido? Thankfully, the age of technology helps us cut a few corners in this regard. While nothing equates to the physical touch of your lover, a private online peep-show using your webcam or skype can be enough to get you by till your next rendezvous. Just be sure no one is hijacking your feed and emailing it to everyone you know... unless you’re into that kind of thing!

MOVIE TIME Let’s face it... you’ve got undeniable needs. As long as your lover is miles away, you’re not getting the attention that those needs require. At least not from your lover! A few carefully selected websites later and you could have your own personal adult-movie collection. Better yet, next time you’re together, make a home movie for future screening. Nothing’s quite as entertaining as watching yourself on TV... naked!

12 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

CENSORE

D

DANCE, TIME WELL DANCE, DANCE! SPENT During that long-awaited quality time together, you can’t waste precious moments doing things like eating or talking. Tell your house-mates to jog-on and turn your place into a fantasy lounge, fully equipped with candles, massage oils, Michael Bublé albums on loop and a never ending stash of condoms equivalent in size to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It doesn’t matter if you can only last about three minutes... just make like a BB-gun and reload and fire again... and again.

No, not like that! If you’re lamenting a long-distance lover, then get down to the nearest strip club and spend the money you would be wasting on dinners and movies on strippers instead! Not only are strip clubs a great place to ease your sexual tensions, they’re the therapists’ couch of the 21st Century. This goes for the girls as well as the guys, although it’s more for giggles than for frustration regulation in your case. Better yet...when your beau is back in town, why not go together?

GO CLUBBING Again, not like that! What better way to quell the urge to cheat than by surrounding yourself with losers who enjoy the art of say train-spotting, or Lego construction? While you might feel as socially inadequate as the kid forced to sit by himself at lunch in junior school, you’ll never have to worry about your wandering loins if you’re hanging out with the chess club!


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COMMON

UNIVERSITY

MISTAKES EVERY FRESHER MAKES

WALKING HOME FROM A CLUB:

GETTING POST-CLUB CALLING GRUB: YOUR PARENTS I love scoring some DAILY: late-night Kentucky

STUDYING TOO MUCH:

fried crap as much as the next person, but it adds up... and not just in regards to the student loan. If you like being able to see your feet (or other important anatomical parts you might be using at uni), trust me and go easy on the fast food. Not only will too much post-club grub make you irrevocably unattractive to the opposite sex, but nothing churns a hangover belly quite like the stale aftertaste of kebab.

University is all about limiting and controlling stressful situations. Overrevising only sets you up for massive disappointment when you forget everything thanks to last minute panic attacks. So take a study break, crack open a cider and watch the constant repeats of ‘Top Gear’ on Dave instead. Worst case scenario, you’ll fail and just add more years to your fun-lovin’ university experience.

Boo hoo, you big baby. Suck it up and stop crying to mummy about the 2:2 you got on your last assignment. And, while you’re at it, stop harassing daddy everyday for yet another donation to your nightly drinking fund. It’s time to get real and become a proper university student... get used to getting drunk on booze of questionable origins pronto and revise for exams hungover five minutes before they start.

14 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

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This can go either one of two ways. Scenario 1: You’re walking home alone. A massive failure for several obvious reasons, most notably your obvious lack of pulling power and the propensity to get completely lost in your drunken state. Scenario 2: You’re walking home with someone... most likely a clingy minger that won’t leave you alone despite constant hints, or the crazy homeless guy who insists on sharing his life story with you. Friends don’t let friends walk home from clubs. Take a taxi....

ADOPTING COOL-ON CAMPUS LINGO: You’ll notice that certain words and phrases are used over and over again like an unstoppable game of Chinese whispers. Some particularly pressing examples to be avoided if you don’t want to sound like a carbon copy of every other student: ‘Messy’ (as in ‘let’s get messy’ and ‘last night was messy’) and ‘times’ (as in ‘bad times’ and ‘good times’). And, for the love of all things holy, please never use the horrific combination: ‘messy times’. There is no forgiving that.

WRITTEN BY SAM STOCKLEY

FRESHMEN FAUX-PAS


INTERVIEW BY FELICITY PATRICK

MORE THAN JUST A FUNNY GUY!

16 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011


MORE THAN JUST A FUNNY GUY!

A u t h or , T V ce le brit y, sp o rt s pun dit, broa dcas t er an d award -win ning com e di an ; Mark Wat so n foun d tim e to catch up wit h ma yh em! mag a zin e . We de lv e de ep in to t h e w o r ld of Wat son to g e t t h e scoop on w hat ’s u p n e x t for CH EC KOUT t his charit a M ING b le MARKS UPCO EP KE D AN S cider-drin k TE DA ing AN EYE OUT BOOK: B r FOR HI S NEW it so li a n! ATSON WW.MARKW

W N.COM TH ECOM EDIA

Q. What’s an interesting fact that people might noT know about you? I ran a half-marathon, I don’t eat cheese, and I have a piece of writing buried in a time capsule at Shakespeare’s Globe, from when I was 11. Q. How did you get into stand-up comedy? I entered open mic competitions and then did hundreds of gigs in pubs and clubs. There’s not really another way into it. Q. Were you always that funny guy at school? No, that was Paul Purgas. I don’t know where he is now. He once made a teacher jump out of the window. I was more the quietly satirical guy at school. Q. Tell us a bit more about your new book, Eleven. It’s about a late night radio DJ and his struggle to come to terms with a tragic event in his past. He sets off a chain of eleven events, hence the title.

Q. How did you come up with the storyline? I was always interested in writing something about a late night radio show – it’s a strange world, full of extreme characters deprived of sleep – and the chain-of-events narrative came separately. I find six-degress-of-separation storylines quite appealing. And they’re pretty easy to come up with. Q. Now, this 24 hour performance, how on earth do you last the whole show? Do you have 24 hours worth of jokes? No. It’s really more to do with a big collective effort at improvisation and adventure. Very little of the shows have been actual jokes, in the past. It’s pretty hard to describe what DOES go on, really. It’s a ‘you had to be there’ type of situation. Q. How do you deal with going to the bathroom? I just hang on for 24 hours.

Q. Is it true that you’ve even done a 36hour show? Yes indeed (in 2006). 36 hours was pushing it a bit, I won’t lie to you. By the end the audience were more like war veterans than comedy-goers. They were just grateful they still had a roof over their heads. Q. We’ve seen you on Mock the Week, have you got any funny stories from behind the scenes? Not much goes on behind the scenes because they shut you in a dressing room for about seven hours to think of topical jokes. Hugh Dennis has got an incredible impression of a dinosaur which he sometimes brings out, though. That makes the time go faster.

Q. What has been your favourite show to be on and why? I enjoyed ‘Would I Lie To You’ and ‘Have I Got News For You,’ although my favourite of all was ‘We Need Answers’ as that was our own format and I was working with mates the whole time. Also, I got to do the FA Cup draw this year; that was a bit of a one-off personal highlight.

Q. Where did you get the idea for Crap at the Environment from? From my general sense of guilt and alarm at the state of the planet and my personal failure to ever do anything or even really think about it. Q. What’s your most embarrasing moment during your stand-up career? I once got a nosebleed moments before going on stage (in Halifax, just as Russell Howard was bringing me on) and had to go in front of the crowd with blood all over my T-shirt. I tried to make a joke of it but I created the initial impression of someone who probably shouldn’t be allowed out on his own. Q. Have you got any words of wisdom for our readers who might be interested in novel writing or stand-up? Although it’s not very exciting ‘wisdom’, there really is no substitute for hard work. Even if you have freakish success in the short term, you can only sustain it by sheer bloody-mindedness and industry. Stop reading this right now and get writing. Q. Finally, what else can our readers expect from you coming up? I did a pilot of an improvisation show for Dave, which you might have seen. I’m touring for the rest of the year, and I have a new book out next year. I will also pop up in various other places. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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CHEAP ROMANCE! WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

C www .vouc hecko herc odes ut .co.u k DINNER With the economy up a certain creek without a paddle, you can’t take your date to the posh sushi restaurant as planned. Fear not! There are more deals around than you can shake a stick at, so it’s worth doing some research before the big night. We like www.vouchercodes.co.uk, or you can look on the restaurant’s website for special offers. Don’t worry about looking cheap… everyone else will be doing it. Or you could try and be super smooth by excusing yourself to the restroom and taking care of the bill on the way back.

PARTY You can still show your date a good time, even if cash is tight. The party is the most important aspect of any student’s life, so keep your ears open for any house parties coming up – they’re usually fun and free, with the added benefits of beds if you get really lucky!

DATING ON A SHOE-STRING Saying the economic climate is poor is the understatement of the century. But in these trying times, students don’t need to put their love-lives on the back-burner. We’ve got some helpful tips for dating on a budget – and they’re pretty good even if you’re not!

It’s also worth finding out when all your local pubs and bars have their happy hour – then you can just rock up like you never even knew!

ROMANCE You thought that you were so cool when you used to take girls to a fancy dinner and romantic movie. What you failed to realise is that you were just being clichéd and down-right dull. There’s an inherent romanticism to cheap dating – when used properly of course! Start off with a walk along the beach or local park, then go for a picnic dinner and watch the sunset. Remember to bring blankets for stargazing and possible snogging! It may all make you feel like a kid, but once things progress, you’ll see that thoughtful and simple usually leads to naked and sweaty. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

19


SAY AHHH! The University will have a list of GP’s in the Portsmouth area who will accept students. It’s a lot easier to make an appointment to see a doctor once you’re registered than doing so when you need one – stress you won’t need in addition to whatever fatal illness (a.k.a man flu) you’re suffering from.

TIP

ONE OF TH E FIRST D TH ING S YOU’LL NEE TO DO WH EN YOU ARRIVE ON CAM PUS IS REGISTER WITH A LOCAL GP.

a f ew t ips May hem! of f ers t he mos t of reg arding t hree in t s ’ you’re common ‘compla t er in t he n lik ely to encou s… coming mon t h

INSOMNIA

COLDS Got one? Ahh, bless. If you do go to the Doc, don’t expect antibiotics – they’re not prescribed for colds. He or she will probably recommend that you keep warm, chill out a bit, keep hydrated (water is best) and take a mild soluble painkiller to relieve the symptoms – pop into your nearest chemist and ask the pharmacist for some advice. Or take the holistic approach and try not to get one in the first place – vitamin C supplements are available at all good chemists; likewise you can ask about a zinc supplement or echinacea. 20 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

If you have any concerns at all about your health, always seek your GP’s advice first before commencing any treatment or taking medications. They know best – and it’s (still!) free.

HEADACHE Stress headaches are very common. They usually start at the back of the head and neck and work their insidious way around. Nasty! Again, a mild soluble painkiller will usually do the trick. But make sure that you drink plenty of water daily, as dehydration can cause particularly nasty headaches. The recommended ‘dose’ of water is eight glasses a day, but steadily sip your way through them rather than gulping down three or four at once.

Make sure your caffeine intake isn’t too high! Loads of drinks are loaded with the stuff, including energy drinks and coffee – so, if you’re a slave to Red Bull, bear in mind it may keep you awake all night. Have a routine and don’t work right up to the time that you hit the hay. Give yourself at least an hour between switching the PC off and crashing out. The best drink late at night is probably a hot chocolate – if your Nan treated you to this when you were little it was probably because she didn’t want to hear another squeak from you until the next morning!

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

STAY AWAY FROM ME!


SERIOUSLY FUNNY!

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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POCKET CINEMA

#JHTDSFFOBDUJPOXIFSFWFSZPVSPBN

REVIEW

We all know the problem with little gadgets is that their screens are teeny. In, fact trying to enjoy your favourite blockbuster on an iPod is not exactly hassle free. So thank goodness for this life changing Pocket Cinema. This utterly astounding device projects up to 50� wide images and movies from your gadgets (iPods, iPhones, digital cameras, PSPs, memory cards, mobile phones and more), onto walls, screens and even naked bodies! It’s even got a built in stereo speaker and remote control, what more could you ask for! Visit: www.maplin.co.uk. RRP £149.99

TIP! ONLY PUNCH EXPIRED CARDS!

PICKMASTER PLECTRUM PUNCH

'SFFHVJUBSQMFDUSVNTGPSMJGF Pickmaster is a must for any guitarists or guitar heroes out there. The Pickmaster allows you to make plectrums out of any thin plastic that you no longer use. This could be anything from an old store card to an expired credit card. Angle it right and you can even make your name appear on the plectrum itself. Brilliant! Visit www.prezzybox.com. RRP ÂŁ19.95

22 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

J e t Le v : Fly er t

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ECCO GPS KEYCHAIN

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Okay so you’re in a new city, drunk and can’t remember your way home. Don’t despair because the ECCO GPS Keychain will show you the way! No more asking strangers directions, only to forget what they’ve said, simply ‘lock’ in your starting location, go do your thing, then follow the ECCO’s idiot-proof LCD display home. It even estimates the distance to your destination. Visit: www.cutebitz.com. RRP ÂŁ69.95

WRITTEN BY FELICITY PATRICK

GET THESE IN YOUR LIFE!


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MY SCRATCH MAP

'BODZZPVSTFMGBTBCJUPGBHMPCFUSPUUFS There’s no need to waste time sticking pins in a map, instead get yourself a Scratch Map. Brilliant in it’s simplicity, this wall map is covered in gold foil that can be scratched off to reveal the countries you’ve visited. Suitable for well-travelled individuals only! Happy travels! Visit www.iwantoneofthose.com RRP £14.99

VERTICAL VINYL

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You can believe your eyes; this vertical vinyl wall mounted turntable really does play records vertically. Awesome, we know! Simply mount it on your wall and listen through the built-in speaker. Then be prepared to gasp as your records go around and around.

This battery-operated space saver is an excellent way to rock-out or wind down to your fave grooves! Visit: www.getinthemix.co.uk. RRP ÂŁ79.99

Just clip on the lightweight camera before you head out and you’ll be able to take up to 40 photos to document your adventures. The camera has an auto interval mode that can be set to snap pictures at one, five or 15 minute intervals. All that’s left for you to do is hook up the camera to your PC or Mac and check out the mischief. Visit: www.geniegadgets.com. RRP £38.99

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

25


WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

LIVING WITH THE DEVIL

ROOMMATES

FROM

HELL ik e e s ar e l t a m m o Ro t es… chocola a bo x o f , e lov ely m os t a r l l s iona y but occa it h s t u ck w y ou g e t . e e cr e am f f o c e h t ou nat ely, y Un fort u k c y an d s u can ’t t r te chocola a ll t h e e t om m a o f f a ro

NOISY NIGEL We all love to party, but when you’ve got a class at 9am and your inconsiderate roommate is up till four in the morning listening to trance music and bouncing round his room like some demented duracel bunny, something must be done. The trouble is, when you ask him to shut the hell up he just tells you to buy some earplugs…what an a-hole! Noisy Nigel’s are definitely one to look out for when you’re thinking about which mates you want to share with! 26 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

an d t h e n c h u ck t h em … you’re s t uck wit h t h em . T h e m os t y ou c a n do is prepa r e y ou r s e lf , so t he t e am h e r e a M ay h e m ! have co t mpile d a lis t o f in cohabit a con s ider at e n t s f or y ou t o loo k ou t f or .

MESSY MAGGIE At university, cleanliness is probably not the first thing on your mind… and living in your scabby uni-pad is all part of the experience. But there’s a big difference between building a wall of beer cans in your living room and clogging up the toilet with something resembling king kong’s finger and just leaving it there. This is the same kind of chick that won’t shave her legs for weeks and then leave a hairy tide mark in the bath… which you won’t notice till you’re relaxing in the tub… eww!

SCROUNGER STAN Let’s face it, we’re all skint pretty much all the time, but we deal with it, right? So when you’ve spent your last morsel of student loan on a bottle of vodka, the last thing you want is to come home to Scrounger Stan smashed on your cash. You could try labelling your goodies, but he will always find a way of worming in there when you’re out. You could try food colouring though… no one wants to steal green milk!

YEAH BABY BARBARA Ok, we get it… she loves sex. But does she have to announce it for the rest of the block to hear? I mean seriously, the last thing you want to think about is your roomie getting all hot and bothered between the sheets, but with the audio going on here, it’s hard to chase the images away! The worst thing is that the dirty old man next door has started smiling at you funny every morning… run away!


'PSUIFHJSMT

£ 12 . 9

9

BELLAPIERRE COSMETICS, SHIMMER POWDER IN APT. Get gorgeous pumpkin coloured eyes with this beautiful sparkly orange eye shadow. www.bellapierre.co.uk

ARDELL DARK ANGEL FRIGHT NIGHT LASHES Go long…these lashes will scare any spook. www.eyebeauty.co.uk

£7. 50

REVLON SUPERLUSTROUS LIPSTICK IN FIRE & ICE

£7.49

A must have for this witching hour! This shade is very flattering and pampers lips with silk-drenched mega moisturisers and vitamins.

7:L>I8 www.boots.com

Ladies, it’s time to make Halloween beautiful with these vampish tricks and treats for you hair and beauty regime. £15.00

LUSH, DAY OF THE DEAD CALAVERA BATH BALLISTIC

LANCOME CRAYON KHOL IN BLOOD BLACK CHERRY A fangtastic eye pencil from Lancome. This deep red shade is a fantastic alternative to black. It has a soft blendable texture, which makes it so easy to use. www.lancome.co.uk

28 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

£2.95

This is part of the Day of the Dead range at Lush. Calavera means skull in Spanish, so why not have a spooky soak with this bath ballistic. It’s made from lime and marigold and releases skin-softening oils. www.lush.co.uk

WRITTEN BY FELICITY PATRICK

TRICK OR TREAT!


TRICK OR TREAT!

£ 12 . 5

N SE BASTIAIO NAL S S E F P RO WE B R FORM M IC O FIBE R r any

ELEMIS DEVILS MINT SCRUB

0

This product could rejuvenate even the deathliest soul, with it’s uba refreshing minty body scrub. Not only does it scrub away any impurities, it leaves your skin smelling delicious.

perfect fo Th is product is le tes re -mou ldab ea cr It ! le ha irsty rough th s er fib eb w ky texture w ith sil . es fine killer styl k the ha ir to rede www. sebastian

profes sional.c

www.elemis.com

o.u

£24.00

=:9 ILAMASQUA LIQUID METAL IN SUPERIOR AND PRECIOUS INK IN ABYSS This inky blue eye cream is perfect for creating that smokey effect. Finish your look with thick vampish eyeliner. www.illamasqua.com

£16.50

£3.50

EYEKO VAMPIRA NAIL POLISH We love this nail vanish that’s dripping with blood red glitter! www.powderrooms.com

DUWOP TWILIGHT LIP VENOM IN BLUSH

£17.00

For sexy shimmery lips this Halloween, this is a must have! A shimmering crimson lip stain suspended in a venom-laced lip conditioner with an intensely potent bite. Its exhilarating formula plumps and hydrates with argan oil, avocado oil, olive oil and vitamin E

£14 .50

www.simplebeauty.co.uk

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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This month we caught up with local ladies Ruby and Antonia who kindly modelled these vintage styles available for purchase at ‘Anything Goes’ on Elm Grove.

30 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/RUBY SARSFIELD, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’


STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/ANTONIA RYAN, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/ANTONIA RYAN, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’

32 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011


STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/RUBY SARSFIELD, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

33


STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/RUBY SARSFIELD, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’

34 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011


STYLES AVAILABLE AT ‘ANYTHING GOES’. PHOTOS/DANIEL TIDBURY, MAKE-UP/TORI HARRIS, STYLING/NATASHA GIBSON, MODEL/ANTONIA RYAN, HAIR/AMANDA STROTHER & STEVEN JENNER, SHOOT ASSISTANT/MICK WYTHE

HOT VINTAGE STYLES FROM ‘ANYTHING GOES’

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

35


MAKE THE COVER!

Think you’ve got what it takes to make the cover of ur name an d Ge t in touch with yo uld be in with mug-shot an d you co our fashion a chan ce to mode l ue ! xt page s in th e ne iss Email: hello@mayhe

36 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

mmagazine.co.uk


ANYTHING

GOES Vintage Clothing

Anything Goes is the charity shop for Bivol Trust, which provides art, dressmaking and social groups for young people with learning disabilities in Portsmouth, Fareham and Gosport. Come to us for an excellent range of affordable vintage clothing! If you are looking for special outfits from the 1940’s or 1950’s or just funky dresses, tops, skirts, jeans, bags or accessories from the 1960’s, 70’s or 80’s, come and have a look! See also our special range of rare and sought after Edwardian and 1930’s dresses – ideal for weddings and a fraction of the usual cost! We also sell vinyls, vintage books and bric-a-brac. Visitors to our shop are amazed at our low prices and will come back time and again, so why not join them? You will come away with a bargain and you will be helping young disabled people too!!

97 Elm Grove, Southsea PO2 1LH

023 9275 0518 www.anything-goes-vintage-clothing.uk


. C B S R A E Y N O I L L I M ON E

Because it might as well have been. A quarter of a century ago to be exact – 1986. Part of the decade that good taste didn’t just forget, but gagged, blindfold and securely locked in a safe. A time when the Twitter bird had barely evolved into a Pterodactyl, a time when your mobile had two wheels, two pedals and was called a Raleigh Grifter... diff erent …was life so very e time? for st udents at th MAYHEM! at es ! The Don invest ig Loose shirts and tight fitting trousers were de rigueur at the time, for men and women. It was best to identify your chat up target early in the evening – styles were androgynous and you could never be sure if your target was the gender of your choosing.

LOVE YOUR HAIR MATE! Women liked the ‘big hair’ look, but then so did the men, many of whom badly mimicked the gloomy bouffant styling of Robert Smith, lead singer of The Cure. Your wardrobe, therefore, would be lots of baggy white shirts; tight black trousers/ leggings and a pair of pixie boots. Male and female, it didn’t matter – if you were one of those chaps who liked to dress in women’s clothing, you were made up – and it showed all over your face, especially the use of the blusher...

EM! H Y MA ACT: pes F sette ta k cas lly 30, 4 5 Bla n er u sua were minutes p , 0 0 6 6 C r e o he nc side - or C120. C90

38 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

FACT:

The first ca ll to be made from a mobile phone was in 1973.

WRITTEN BY THE DON!

THE DON INVESTIGATES!


THE DON INVESTIGATES!

WHAT A FEELING The only rebel to this look was Madonna. She championed the ‘street urchin’ look – short skirts worn over leggings; the bra worn as an outside item of clothing, untidy hair (still big – but just a mess!) and fishnet gloves. Is that your ‘look’ now? Whoa, easy – that’s how your Mum used to dress... and no smirking chaps, the big thing for you when you didn’t have your frilly, floppy white shirt on was a ripped sweatshirt. That was down to one of the biggest movies of the decade, Flashdance. This was another mix and match look. The women favoured them because they thought it would make them look like Jennifer Beals, the star of the film, while the men wore them because, well, they also thought it would make them look like Jennifer Beals. Jen now resides in the ‘Where Are They Now?’ file. Which is what wearing nothing but baggy sweatshirts does for you.

MR LOVER MAN Designer labels started to make themselves known at the time as well – male choice would be a pair of baggy Calvin’s, ‘just in case’ – though if you didn’t look like Nick Kamen, star of a famous jeans ad at the time, you might as well have worn them over your head, for all the good they would have done you.

DANGER – KLEIN FIELD Another staple part of the male wardrobe at the time was one, if not, several pairs of jeans. Today, the trend is loose fitting, baggy crotch and wide of leg. If you sport those, you’re cutting edge. You would have been more likely to have cut yourself on the jeans of 1986 vintage though. They would have been bleached, tight, and made by Wrangler. A nice side dish of white Reebok trainers and towelling socks would have accompanied them. With the baggy Calvin’s underneath. And yes, it was uncomfortable. But hey, they’re Calvin’s; I wear Calvin, therefore I am a love machine...

LOUD AND PROUD Colour-wise, neon was big. Huge infact, if it was worn, it was neon. Those over-sized, baggy sweatshirts? Yep, they came in neon. Fingerless gloves (and nails painted to match); coats; shoes; sunglasses; watches. Pinks, yellows, orange and lime green. All must have, must see and be seen. Pastels, of course, are the fashionable colours of 2011. So you’re wearing something that’s the same colour as your Mum and Dad’s bedroom wall – and you don’t really want to think what goes on in there, do you? Whoops, too late!

I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU Speaking of those lurid, radioactive sunglasses, we come to accessories. How can we go out today without them? Never mind ‘better dead than red’, today it’s ‘better dead than no cred’. You may as well go out naked as do without your Android phone*; laptop; iPhone; iPad, and organic Fairtrade ‘Free Tibet’ vegetarian iLiner.

C60 C90 C120? But, back in 1986, accessories were basic and just called ‘stuff’. If you wanted to listen to music, then you put a mix tape together and listened to it on your Walkman. For keeping in touch with friends and family, a BT phone box was your docking station of choice, pre-paid phone cards eventually removing the necessity of always needing an endless supply of 10p pieces. Though there was always the option of ringing Mum and Dad from a Uni payphone and reversing the charges-after all, who else could best advise you how to get that Capri-Sun stain out of your best pink baggy sweatshirt...? I’ve got all this way and haven’t mentioned leg warmers yet. I think it’s best if we leave it that way. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

39


VALENCOURT APPAREL

CLOTHING FOR MEN AND WOMEN

SUMMER 2011 LINE OUT NOW WWW.VALENCOURTAPPAREL.COM WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/VALENCOURTAPPAREL - WWW.TWITTER.COM/VALENCOURT - WWW.VALENCOURTAPPAREL.TUMBLR.COM


WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

DO YOU WANT TO BE MY... FRIEND!

HOW 2 MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

ay from home an d all If you ’re of f to uni aw be sure you make some your mates, you want to s Frien ds made in fresher’ new on es pret ty quick ly. ing liv es you ’ll en d up we ek are of ten the on of halls , so be care ful t ou with when you move e want s to be a Billy-no who you choose . No on ke sure you ’re accep te d mates, so how do you ma test, br ainies t an d most imme diately by the hot us? aw esome crew on camp

MONEY CAN’T BUY YOU LOVE Buying the first round is a great way of breaking the ice and showing people you’re friendly and kind. But these are student’s we’re talking about here and they will push their luck at every given opportunity. So don’t be a mug and end up buying the second or third round…these guys cotton on quick. And, if you haven’t established the fact that you’re the coolest cat on campus by the time your money runs out, they will leave you faster than you can say ‘who’s round is it now?’

VERBAL DIARRHOEA The oldest advice is usually the best and ‘think before you speak’ is one we should all take a mental note of. Asking a potential new pal if they’ve always had that mole on their face will not go down well. Nor will asking the hottie behind the counter in the Co-op what she recommends for the rash on your inside leg. Suss out what people like to talk about early and if you can’t join in, move onto the next unsuspecting BFFs.

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL It’s a pretty well established fact that mirroring the way a person moves will make them feel at their ease with you. Most of us do it subconsciously, but standing in the same posture or crossing your arms the same way when you talk to someone can draw them to you and increases your connexion. But, whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of blatantly copying everything a person does… that’s just annoying and a bit creepy!

LAST RESORT If all else fails then there is always the last resort. This usually consists of flashing your boobs for girls and doing something obscenely disgusting, outrageous and preferably dangerous for blokes. Just be sure that you don’t get caught by the police half way up a war memorial with a traffic cone completely naked… although that would make you a legend on campus! OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

41


WRITTEN BY SAM COTTEE/HOTFEATURES

HOT FEATURE!

BLOOM

BAD GUYS DEFINITELY HAVE THE FUN

We haven’t seen much of Orlando Bloom on the big screen lately but he will be back for some more swashbuckling action on Oct’ 21st in ‘The Three Musketeers’.

Aside from movies, Orlando was named the new face for the Orange Man fragrance by Hugo Boss earlier this year and says he’s been getting into fragrances since landing the job.

The ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and ‘Lord of the Rings’ star says he loved playing the Duke of Buckingham in ‘The Three Musketeers’ because he doesn’t often get the chance to play a baddie.

Orlando’s wife, Australian model Miranda Kerr, gave birth to the couple’s first child in January and the Hollywood actor says his son Flynn is “a big, beautiful boy.”

Plus fans will get to see a darker, more intense side of Orlando in ‘The Good Doctor’ which is about a doctor who begins tampering with his patient’s treatment because he is in love with her. 42 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

Here Orlando talks about his upcoming movies including ‘The Three Musketeers’ and says he has no regrets over not appearing in the fourth ‘Pirates’ instalment ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides’.


HOT FEATURE! You’ve been out of the limelight for a while but you’ve been working hard doing all these movies, is it nice to be out there talking about movies again? Definitely yeah. I love it. I love movies. I worked with Mark Ruffalo on ‘Sympathy For Delicious’, which is a film that he directed and co-wrote with one of his best friends, starring Laura Linney and Juliette Lewis. I play a sort of really, kind of whacked out, wild character called The Stain, and that was a lot of fun. And then I just worked on ‘The Three Musketeers’...

He doesn’t seem like the type of doctor you’re ever going to want to go and see? Yeah no, you wouldn’t want to go and see him. It’s interesting, it’s a real character-driven piece, it’s very much about the human condition and, you know, I think we all have aspects of a ‘Good Doctor’ in us I think in some way or another, control aspects and things like relationship stuff. He’s a guy that falls in love with a patient and he wants to keep her, he wants her there, it’s a control thing. It’s a bit like reverse Munchhausen actually.

Using your swashbuckling skills? The Duke of Buckingham is a bit more of a petulant child than a swash buckler but it was a lot of fun because it was a really different kind of a guy for me, but yeah I really loved it.

Are you the type of typical guy who puts of going to the doctor? Yeah, but I think that we’re all our own best healers actually. I think that if you eat right and get outdoors a bit, kick a ball around or whatever it is that gets your heart going, we can be our own best healers. Fresh food is better than not fresh food, if you know what I mean?

The costumes look amazing from some of the pictures that have been out for that. Are you planning on keeping those boots? Oh yeah. The boots are sticking, and the costumes. That’s definitely a fancy dress outfit one day down the line – probably for my son. It was great though it was a lot of fun. Does it feel like a big fancy dress when you’re doing a movie like that? Yeah you just embrace all of it. I love a frock, it really informs what you’re doing. Do you know what I mean? It’s very interesting, it’s funny. So yeah, it’s a lot of fun and that was a lot-a-lot of fun. Bad guys definitely have the fun and I want to do more of that you know – so yeah really good times. ‘The good doctor’ looks like it’s going to be quite a dark movie? It is yeah. A bit of a departure, fun for me to do something like that actually, to really step out of what I think people might imagine me to be and challenging so it is a really dark, little movie.

You’re living in la now so that is a great place to lead a healthy lifestyle? Yeah it is. It’s good. I kind of live in London as well though. Do you? Because we don’t see you much in london any more? No I know but then I actually like it that way. So you’re here but you’ve got your head down?

Yeah… I like to be at home and not be in the eye of it all. You can’t really avoid it in LA unfortunately. I try my best but it’s very difficult. But when I’m here, and I’m here more than you think actually, I tend to keep a very low profile. I just enjoy being home and with my mates and stuff.

We do see so many pictures of you from la getting into a car, going into the airport, coming out of the airport –what do you make of that all? I know that’s it, that’s the only place they get me because I can’t do anything about that. Like airports and cars – how many more pictures can you get of me getting out of a car? But I do my damnedest to avoid it actually because I think it, I don’t know, I think there’s more mystery to not knowing isn’t there? And then it’s special when you see a character when you see somebody. But it’s difficult. It is a challenge. Particularly now you’ve got a little one and he’s being photographed too? Yeah, yeah. I’m learning to just get on with it. What can you do? So we’ve been loving your adverts for the boss orange man, especially the adverts in the magazines are great. Your tattoo is fab? Thank you very much. No, it’s great. It’s a good fit actually. I didn’t really think of myself as a fragrance kind of guy but the Boss Orange Man, that fragrance, is really easy going, it’s a nice easy wear. I wasn’t really a fragrance guy but you can put it on in the morning and it’s great. And, you know, the whole concept of easy going, laid back, free minds, open souls, all that stuff, it really sort of fits with the way I like to live my life – not always, I do my best. Sometimes you’re not allowed to? No. Sometimes I’m challenged! No, I mean, like I said, I wasn’t a fragrance guy and I didn’t really get it but there’s a sort of extra little dimension when you wear a smell, it’s a scent , it’s one of the senses right? It really works for me, I like it a lot. TURN TO READ ON…

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

43


HOT FEATURE!

Nt D O21s E AS E R E L B RE CTO O

So you haven’t had a signature smell up until now? No nothing, nothing at all – just B.O.! [laughs] Is there a type of smell that you really like? Cut grass reminds me of when I was a kid, that smell of cut grass in the summer and stuff – I really like that smell. And now my baby’s head smells amazing, God he smells amazing and his breath, the whole thing, it’s just like – you could eat him! He looks gorgeous? He is, he’s a big, beautiful boy. He’s great. So the fourth ‘pirates’ movie – any regrets about not being in it? No, not at all. I feel great about it. I mean I worked really consistently for a long time and I went and did a play after I did ‘Pirates’ and took some time and went to Antarctica, you know, and I’ve produced a little movie and worked on a few little movies that I’ve really enjoyed and got creatively back to the source a bit. Actually I just did a really great piece 44 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

with Gustavo Dudamel and the LA Philharmonic. Do you know Gustavo Dudamel? He’s this phenomenal young conductor who is the musical director of the LA Philharmonic and we did Tchaikovsky, three pieces of Tchaikovsky, Tchaikovsky was inspired by The Bard and so we did ‘Hamlet’, which was Matthew Rees played Hamlet, a couple of soliloquies and then it went into like the 20 minute piece of music, then the ‘The Tempest’ Malcom McDowell did a piece from ‘The Tempest’, just a little piece and then the music was played and then we did ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and I did that with Anika Noni Rose and it was amazing because we were in the Disney Hall in LA, which is a beautiful space. And I was running all over the place and jumping up on balconies and doing all sorts of stuff and it was just fantastic, kind of really liberating. Really free and stuff. Because you did do two very big must have been good to take some time out. But once you’ve done that you can kind of pick and choose?

Yeah I mean it’s very competitive out there. There are a lot of talented young guys doing what they do and doing it really well. But I don’t really think of it like that. I just think of doing good stuff that speaks to me when I get the opportunity to do the stuff that I love. Keira knightley and sienna miller have both been on the west end stage recently. Would you be tempted to do come back and do something like that? Definitely yeah. Of course, yeah. I had a great time when I did ‘In Celebration’. I’d love to find a good something or other. I had a lot of fun doing Romeo I have to say, but yeah I’d love to.. Spend a bit more time in london –keep your head down? Yeah I didn’t keep my head down much when I was doing ‘In Celebration’ – that was quite challenging. But it was good. It was crazy for you then though wasn’t it? Yeah it was. It was good. It’s all been a fantastic ride.


IN SUPPORT OF COMMUNITY FUSION

           

28TH SEPTEMBER @ WEDGEWOOD ROOMS

5IFFDMFDUJDMJOFVQPGVOTJHOFEMPDBMCBOETBOE TJHOFEUPVSJOHCBOETXJMMUBOUBMJTFUIFNVTJDBMUBTUF CVETGPSFWFSZPOFGSPNDIJMMFEPVUBDPVTUJDQPQUP NFMPEJDSPDLBOEJOZPVSGBDFBMUFSOBUJWFQVOLSPDL

HEADLINE: IVYRISE

ANALOGUE MANILOW

A Portsmouth-born band with a stadium presence and melodic rock sound that cuts straight to your soul and gets your feet moving. Ivyrise signed with My Major Company in 2010 and recorded their album with Jason Perry (Kids in Glass Houses, McFly). Ivyrise were also recently featured in the September issue of Kerrang and will be commencing their album tour following Mayhem! Music in October.

A mysterious heavier side project and brainchild of a band who have already soared to success and earned a place on BBC Introducing, The B of the Bang.

FIERCE MONDAY (FORMERLY GOD SEND) A local alternative rock band with a vibrant sound and refreshing performance that represents the kind of raw talent we have here in Portsmouth. Lead singer, Fizz Reynolds, scooped the overall winner at the national grand final for Live & Unsigned when she was only 16.

A GENUINE FREAKSHOW Having returned from their recent debut at Reading and Leeds festival, AGF will be stunning us with their artful blend of musical influences. The most impressive mash up of instruments bringing violin, cello and trumpet to the standard rock four-piece of guitar, bass, drums and vocals.

SOUTHGATE AND LEIGH A quirky pop duo who have recently released their debut album ‘Where We Are’, which has received airplay on BBC Radio. Their debut single from the album Reena was also named Single of the Week in Cosmopolitain magazine.

Missed out? Don’t worry, we’ll be running more Mayhem! Music events in the future. Follow us on facebook & twitter for updates

Where did Ivyrise and A Genuine Freakshow play their first Portsmouth gigs? Which venue hosted Mumford & Sons and Eliza Doolittle just months before they broke? Which venue hosts the most local bands and new talent? Which venue attracts nationally known artists such as Sam Duckworth from Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly and James Walsh from Starsailor? Which is the only touring venue for Blues in the city, hosting stars like Oli Brown and James Hunter? Where do you go in Portsmouth for monthly Thursday night comedy, where you can see the likes of Jimmy Carr, Rufus Hound, Milton Jones and Lucy Porter before they become household names? Which venue offers great value hire deals to student and local bands? Which small venue hosts fringe theatre tours several times each year? Where do you go in Portsmouth to find nationally recognised tribute bands at low prices? Where will be your first choice for a great night out in a unique intimate atmosphere?

There’’s only one answer to all these questions and that’’s The Cellars at Eastney, the biggest small music venue in Portsmouth!


WRITTEN BY JENNIFER LE ROUX

GRILLED ZEBRA!

it h t up w re h g u a e fo ec g a z in n d G r e g , b a M ! a 2 011 . em May h ers , Mat t y y Fe s t ival ik e m em b gig at H ev p f e e ling l l r he s of t h ei u ldn ’ t y wit h lot Fin d o c e o . W pre s s n ew t t h e ir u t t o n s t o e a d p u t n e w b w Z e br a h pa ce s … o ou t h ou g h ou r t u s hr

Zebrahead are an American punk-rock band who have experienced over a decade of success and release a time-capsule of memories to those who have grown up head-banging to their rap-rocking, ska-jumping tunes since their formation in 1996. 46 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011


GRILLED ZEBRA!

seem to have shifted between a fusion of ska/punk to hip-hop, why was that? M: I don’t know, I guess we just write music that we like. Even though on the first few records we had a hip-hop type feel, there were still some reggae beats we would rap over and stuff, so it wasn’t like ‘I don’t feel like playing ska/punk anymore’.

attitude towards your music? M: You know at the end of Bill and Ted’s bogus journey and they play a song… G: [sings in the background] God gave Rock’n’Roll to you, gave rock n roll to you, gave rock n roll to everyone! M: The song that unites the world and brings world peace? That’s what Zebrahead is!

Nice! You recently started working with Jason from Green Day on your records, why him? G: He lives down the street from us? M: Yeah, we didn’t wanna go very far and he’s like a couple of blocks away. So he was kind of convenient, he does a good job, good musician, good friend – so it kind of worked out. And he’s always bought beer.

Is it true that each of the female artists covered on your Panty Raid album had a romantic link with Zebrahead? M: Absolutely. One hundred percent! Well, I don’t know if it’s what you really call romantic… if you call the back seat of the car or the backstage rooms romantic? Then yes! Britney was the worst – she was the dirtiest! G: Ah yeah man. M: She didn’t know where she was, it was kind of awkward, you know, with the five of us in there. G: Yeah, she was like ‘Yeah I love it!’ M: You know what they call that? It was a soup kitchen!

One of your biggest fans contacted us and wanted to ask you the following: “Who is the gayest member of Zebrahead?” M: That’s amazing! [laughs] I would say our drummer. G: He showers often, like two/three times a day. He’s not very fashionable though. M: But he takes bubble baths. No shit, on days we get hotels, he’ll get his own room so he can take bubble baths all day. And I’m not even sure he puts clothes on in his room!

G: I couldn’t imagine being in a band today without all the tools you have on the Internet. M: We had to stand outside the shows and sell CD’s, give out flyers ‘Hey sign my mailing list so I can go sing some bullshit!’ and it cost me a tonne of money! Now they got Twitter and all sorts. G: It’s real quick. M: It’s computers, they’re so big. G: Biiiiiiig. M: And we’re so small. G: Smaaaaaaall.

You’ve played Portsmouth a couple of times, when can we have you back? M: We’re coming back to the UK in November. G: Hopefully we are gonna open ON STA up for Metallica, but I don’t know GE HEV AT Y T T YFES if it’s going to happen. MA T M: He hasn’t returned my calls. I bought one of his guitars off ebay How do you think the and he still hasn’t called me. Did you internet is affecting the know that I was born in Portsmouth… way music is released now? Is it worth producing Virginia! That’s what I always tell and distributing full the crowds and stuff.

Is it similar to the UK version? M: Yeah kind of, it has the naval port and stuff and water! Big ships and drunk kids!

How much has the Internet played a role in Zebrahead’s success? M: We have a website? Yeah, I would say it plays a massive part. We went to Russia at the end of last year. Never been there, records never been out there. We didn’t know what the hell it was gonna be like and there was 800 people sold out in this tiny club and we’re like ‘Where the fuck did these people come from?’ We asked every kid, we were like ‘how did you find out about us?’ and they were like ‘the internet!’ and we were like ‘What do’ya know, it actually does something!’

albums anymore?

M: Well you can get everything on the Internet now. Maybe kids don’t want to buy a full CD with 14 songs, maybe they just wanna pick three, who knows? G: As a band, you’re not making money unless you’re on tours, so if you’ve got more EP’s then I guess you get to go on tour more often!

Speaking of albums, what should we expect from your new release ‘Get Nice’? M: Brand new songs. I don’t know, hopefully you’ll like it. Makes good coasters. Good for sexy time!

Is there anything else you want to say to our readers? M: Hopefully we’ll be coming to Portsmouth in November. We love Portsmouth, there’s a blood bond man! OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

49


s y a w l a e r a “ s t uden tps for a part y!” w ell u

WWW.BEATAMAXX.TV 50 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

INTERVIEW BY FELICITY PATRICK

IN A SPIN WITH BEAT ä MAXX!


IN A SPIN WITH BEAT ä MAXX!

Hot on the Uni scene and making advances in live video DJing we got personal with the turntable master ‘BEAT ä MAXX’...

For those unfamiliar with Technology has advanced the term Video DJ how would dramatically over the past you describe your work? 15 years. What impact do todays gadgets have on Well in it’s simplest form I mix and scratch music videos and video clips, what you do now compared but also included in the setup are live to back when you started? camera feeds, a second video mixer and some visual software. Video DJing is an emerging style of DJing and everyone doing it at the higher end seems to have a very different take on putting on a live show, I like to try and have my own unique style in what I’m doing.

Technology has had a huge impact in what I do, particularly in the last five years. Technology has had a huge impact recently on DJing too, not only in video but in every way. I like to keep ahead of technology and it’s a very important part of my whole video setup.

You have built a huge student following and played Universities across the country, how important to you is the student scene?

What is your favourite gadget at the moment?

Very important. Many of the student events are very big productions. You get to meet and work with some great people and students are always well up for a party!

What has been the standout University night for you and why? That’s very hard to answer because there have been quite few. It’s always a good night when you get a huge reaction to the tunes or random video clips that have been dropped in.

My favourite gadget at the moment is a new high-end fully remote control camera that I have just integrated into the full setup, hard to explain what it does but it looks great on the live shows!

What made you decide to mix your audio with moving image? I’ve always been a very technical DJ and started out as a turntablist. Sometimes when you do a clever mix or scratch not all the crowd get what your doing but if you add video it becomes a lot clearer and more entertaining.

So, what was your initial inspiration for developing the idea of put ting the two together? I wanted to do something more creative with my DJing and video seemed the perfect complement to my DJing style.

You use clips from TV decide what to use? I spend a lot of time watching different stuff but also keep my eye on current trends. Also, I like using stuff that provokes a reaction.

The orange beanie hat where did that come from? I was born with it!

Who would you really like to work with in the future? Yeah, DJ Jazzy Jeff. His sets are still amazing, and I’ve always found his DJing really inspiring. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

51


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IN A SPIN WITH BEAT ä MAXX!

“it’s the biggest buzz when you have a few thousand people going mad to what you’re doing” Some might think what you do is glamorous, traveling the world playing music - how far from the truth are they? Well it is great fun but also really hard work. Quite often you dont have time to enjoy the place you’re in because you’re off on your way to the next gig. I spend a lot of time re-editing and remixing and coming up with different ideas for the sets. But it’s the biggest buzz when you have a few thousand people going mad to what you’re doing.

For those following in your footsteps, what advice would you give them? Try and be original, keep practising and never stop trying to improve on what you’re doing.

Whats coming up in the next six months for you? Just finished doing a big uni summer-ball tour and you might have seen me at Bestival. Now I’m going to be working on a new video mix and some remixes that I’ll be putting up on my website (www.beatamaxx.tv). I’m also currently doing a massive uni freshers tour.

After 15 years having made it pret ty big so far, where are you headed? Well I’m always looking at moving what I do forward both with technology and musically so the set will continue to develop. I’m also intending on producing some tracks and more things are on the horizon. Watch this space! Keep up to date with BEAT ä MAXX at www.beatamaxx.tv Checkout our facebook page for clips of BEAT ä MAXX in action!

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

53


ORIGINS OF

COMMON (!,,/7%%.

SUPERSTITIONS EM! H Y MA ACT: een F , Hallow

n U SA ea so In the umber 1 s rous n o i s t h e l l i n g hu m w it h for se ngs cards ent i s t n e g re i l l io TRICK 2 5 m lly! r e v o a OR TREAT a n nu Well known as an American tradition, but its origins are buried deep within The tradition is still medieval Europe. maintained all over the world in varying guises – th In the 10 Century, in Ireland, for example, the Pagan practice of soul cakes are left outside ‘souling’ involved calling at properties for the newly properties – such as they deceased to feed upon, were – and asking for gifts prior to their journey to of food for which, in return, the afterlife, while in prayers and incantations Scotland, young children would be offered up for the were originally expected newly dead – of which to perform some sort th there would be a lot, 10 of entertainment in century Europe being exchange for their sweets. neither the safest or more hygienic of places. The These rituals were brought ritual was adapted by the to America by immigrants Christian religion by the and evolved into the 14th Century and was even modern version that mentioned by Chaucer! we see today. 60 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

CARVED PUMPKIN HEADS Legend tells of a lazy Irish farmer named Stingy Jack who one day tricked the Devil into climbing an apple tree, and then preventing him from coming down by placing crosses all around the trunk. Jack only agreed to let the Devil down from the tree if he agreed never to take Jack’s soul after his death. The Devil concedes and Jack lets him go. However, so lazy and corrupt was Jack’s life that, when he died he was barred from entering Heaven. Unable to enter Hell either, Jack laments as to how he is expected to spend eternity without light or purpose.

The Devil, remembering Jack’s trickery gives him a burning ember from deep within Hell, telling Jack it will never be extinguished so can always light his path. To contain the ember, Jack hollows out a turnip which was his favourite food. He now has a light, a Jack O’Lantern, to show him the way as he endlessly wanders the earth looking for a resting place he can never find. We now carve an effigy of the Devil’s head into Pumpkins (a hell of a lot easier to craft than a turnip!) into which we place a candle, to mimic Jack’s illuminated gift from the Devil.

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

BOOO!


BOOO!

APPLE BOBBING Again, it is likely that this Halloween tradition evolved in Ireland. Snatching a bite from one of the bobbing apples signified forthcoming good luck. If you were single, it denoted you would soon be married. Girls who put the apples under their pillows on that night will dream of their next lover (give it a try, ladies!). Apples are therefore considered as symbolic of fertility and sexuality (think Garden of Eden – ‘the forbidden fruit’) and used to be thrown at weddings for that purpose, instead of rice!

DRESSING UP AS GHOSTS Such was people’s fear of encountering wandering spirits on the night of Halloween, who might recognise them and torment them accordingly, they dressed up to disguise themselves on that night. Their costume included a ghostly mask which would not only hide their identity but mark them out as fellow spirits to the wandering lost souls. They would also place plates of food outside of their properties to appease the dead and thus prevent them entering their home, further guaranteeing their safety for another year. This is a variant of the Trick and Treat tradition.

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10 HARBINGERS

WRITTEN BY EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

DON’T LOSE SLEEP!

DEATH …or “Deatthhhhhh” as he introduces himself. The last word you’ll ever hear, the last sight you’ll ever see. He reaps souls by the gazillion and that sythe, it ain’t for keeping the grass trimmed! Let his bony finger beckon you to follow him into oblivion – or a night out in Southampton, it’s all the same to him.

OF HALLOWEEN

HORRORS

OF ALL TOMB Becaus e w e all know th at this diabolical collection ar e fear in ducing , shivering me ti m bers , goos e pimpling harbinge rs of DOOOOOOMMMMM!

62 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

GHOSTFACE …from the “Scream” movies. The mask, beware of the mask!! Based on Munch’s painting of the same name, but a lot more scary. Did you know, incidentally, that the movie is based on real life events that occurred on England’s south coast exactly 100 years ago? Some people say...


DON’T LOSE SLEEP!

DEMONS …they seduce, they tempt, they target the weak – and BANG! Your head is revolving 360 degrees and you’re projectile vomiting and break dancing on the ceiling. Beware the innocent looking this Halloween...

SUCCUBUS …as best personified in the movie “Paranormal Activity”. Be careful what you end up filming on your Digicam – it might just kill you... infact, it probably will. If you go to sleep in your bed and wake up in the bathroom – it’s time to be just a little bit afraid… strong, invisible and ever so, ever so angry. No locked door will stop them.

…men beware! The Succubus is a female demon, one that manifests itself to you as a beautiful woman who demands instant sex with you. Does that sound good? Well, it’d be the ultimate one night stand. She’ll use you and your body and then depart, leaving you to wither and die, your life-force spent... and she didn’t even leave her number.

FREDDY KRUEGER

VAMPIRES

JEDWARD

…however bad your day has been, whatever terrors you’ve endured...you just can’t hit the hay and sleep them off. Because Freddie will be waiting, stalking your dreams and looking for a slice of some nocturnal action-and a slice of you...

…don’t be fooled by all the good PR they’ve had lately in the Twilight Saga. Vampires aren’t all in their late teens, beautiful and beguiling. They’re the undead, and that’s VERY undead. And guess what, the drinks are in you.

…evil twins of unknown origin who have used their devilish mind control tricks to convince millions of their merits as all round performers and entertainers. Whatever you do, don’t look into their eyes… their eyes, their eyes!

EVIL SPIRITS LORD VOLDEMORT …he’s dark. So very dark. And he hates everyoneexcept snakes, which he chats to on a daily basis. So if you see someone having a chat with an adder, it might be a good idea to run away and hide – except that it’s probably already too late.

INCUBUS Don’t worry ladies, there’s one for you as well. The male equivalent of Ms Succubus appears as a hunky man who’ll lavish treats on you; compose poems in your name; listen to you; laugh with you, and accompany you on long walks atop windy cliff tops. Then, when you give yourself to him, offer him your heart, your very being… he’ll leave you for DEAD. But perhaps you’ve met him already?

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

63


HOW TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A

SLAG THIS HALLOWEEN

’v e at… I e t he w wh o s t um n o loo k c u k yo bu t un d a Do y o o f e t u ’re c n d n e on ’ t o m t r ar p l e e n eve e x p e g oi n g d ong m a o c h , t -t e f or ct t wi yet rm , s h op t he loo ’. A n d b oy f o b a g t h at ‘s l a g k in g s d a e m r l e l e i s en d ca l t i i Y k n ou w by ea wee tra il H a llo ls , m p. s e ll l g e t , de vi s e s w r in g u h at s. an d ht y n you om bie n aug n ot So h ven z e w it h h in g ’ r e d n a e s r e r t e e ls e i a are vam p s im p ng t h . a fe ’s t s ay i t l o a e n h w t es t I ’m g if t you n i s h Now , t to h d cho el s a ba os Hal t his i lo w e you ’ r p e een ens e m bl e.

VIDEO TEST

If you’ve seen your outfit, or one like it, in an adult movie… step away. Policewoman, nurse, firewoman and doctor costumes are designed to play on men’s fantasies. So if you’re more interested in the real thing, I would steer clear of the porno and go for the personality. Try and go for something the guys will find funny instead!

TEXT TEST Put on your costume and take a picture. Now send the picture to your dad. If you would rather eat some body else’s vomit that have that picture come within 10 feet of your father then go back to the shop and go for the Thelma from Scooby-Doo costume instead.

HOLIDAY TEST

GRANDMA TEST

Have you ever heard the advice that if you wouldn’t wear it at home your shouldn’t wear it on holiday? Well, the same goes for Halloween. If you don’t usually like to attract the local flasher or make dirty old men touch themselves when you walk past, then you shouldn’t go out of your way to do it on Halloween. Yes, it’s nice to have men drooling over you, but you should make them do that with your elegance and class year round, not by getting your baps out once a year.

In these techno-loving days you know full well that pictures of you will be floating around in cyberspace for many years to come. That means that your kids and, potentially, your grandkids could see you looking like a skank because of the choices you make this Halloween. So ask yourself, am I being a true representation of the kind of woman I want my children to be? If you’re not sure, picture your nan in the same costume and ask again!

64 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

SMOKIN’!


WATCH YOUR FINGERS!

PIMPED PUMPKINS

ch eck out th es e superb ef fort s for som e in spir at ion this hall ow ee n. .. an d amaz e yo ur new room ie wit h your carving skil ls ! bu t of co urse it g oes wit hout sayi ng - carv e w it h care ! W e re spons ible won’ t be he ld for an y mis si ng digit s! T he se nd it to he n, tak e a pic llo@may hem an d mag azin e.co .uk for a chan ce to g et yours on th e w ebsite ! for ev eryone to se e. G ood lu ck !

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

65


HOW TO THROW A

HALLOWEEN

HOUSE PARTY Summer’s over, and that familiar back to uni feeling comes back around when the wind picks up, the leaves turn brown and September arrives. Once that’s passed, what’s next to look forward to? he f f in to t a g r u o e ry t u rn y de b au c h f o H ow t o n r e v t ca hout s pookies Amit y ville , wit of . t h is s i de m u r de r s l a u t c a t he

Christmas is too far away (and obvious), and Bonfire Night is neither here nor there, all chavs and funfairs. Halloween, however, is one of those rare nights that gets better with age. The original premise of knocking on random neighbor’s doors for free sweets seems unbeatable, but think back to circa 15 years old or so, it was all about throwing eggs at houses and using the fundamentals of November 5th to set off fireworks in the skatepark. Nostalgia out of the way then, the way to survive any recurring calendar holiday past the age of 18 is to add alcohol. Halloween embraces this concept more than any other holiday. Get in there early, embrace all the crap Tesco shovels by way of orange sweet pots and skeleton bunting by using Halloween to throw the biggest party of the year. 66 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

WRITTEN BY JOSHUA MOORE

SPOOKY!


SPOOKY!

TIMING Set the date early. By all means communicate on Facebook, but people increasingly ignore mass event invites , especially after the mayhem of Fresher’s. Chances are your invite will get lost in the ‘£1.50 drinks all night Fancy Dress Pub Quiz Beach Party’ event, so be creative. Don’t over egg it, no-one digs desperation, but think of an inventive yet subtle way of communicating this must attend event – a free bottle of absinthe for the best costume perhaps, house number, road and the date of party strategically placed on a couple of beer mats on the SU tables. Carrier pigeon, perhaps.

SET THE SCENE It’s going to be your house, or room in halls, let’s face it. Well don’t skimp on the décor – Carve the halloween hell out of at least half a dozen pumpkins, make funny little orange cupcakes that glow in the dark and contain questionable substances, dim the lights, or better still, replace all light bulbs with red light bulbs – the brothel look adds intrigue, and a sexy spookiness. Collate a few subs and a mixer, and put together a playlist that effortlessly mixes a bit of dirty electro punctuated by screams and hammer house of horror style door creaks.

GREASE THE WHEELS Little cakes and sugary treats only work for a certain chunk of our lives. We’re all adults here, let’s lay our cards on the table and divulge in the only reason we came to this bloody party in the first place. Don’t think you can woo potential guests with 12 supermarket own French bieres on a table crowded with paper plates, napkins and buffet food. We need potions – noxious, poisonous, lethal cocktails to make this a night so very difficult to remember. Absinthe is the most obvious choice of spirit first of all, due to its colour, its potency, and its notorious hallucinogenic qualities. How about a Black Magic cocktail made up of Vodka and Tia Maria, or a Zombie containing a lethal mix of dark rum, brandy and pineapple juice. A crate of Duvel beers is a must too – nasty little Belgian brews that will have you playing the part of lifeless corpse in no time.

LOOK THE PART It’s Halloween. The most important part of this ‘holiday’, if you can call it that, is the requirement for fancy dress. Girls generally take this as sluttier, the better, which we should embrace with open arms. Be courageous, be bold, be bright, be inappropriate and definitely dress in bad taste. Less Dracula and Frankenstein, more Alan Partridge rubber masks and Sean of the dead outfits.

BREAK THE RULES Essentially, it’s a drunken sweaty party in pretend scary lights with poor lighting. Just drink your way through it and dread the photo’s in a few days time. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

67


BLOOD HMNN, TASTY BLOOOOD!

ENERGY

Whe ther you’re a ravenous vampire or a rampaging zom bie, drinking blood is all the rage . But going s an d around biting neck bere d slurping on dis m em you e body part s will se can u yo sect ione d be fore ur yo say ‘I vant to zuck ne ed u yo blad’. That ’s w hy . ks Blood En ergy Drin Gruesomely amusing, these highly caffeinated 100ml energy potions are packaged in resealable transfusionstyle bags. Choose from fruity Blood Energy or lime flavoured Zombie Blood. Fangbangers, Twilighters and Dawn of the Dead-heads will love ‘em. Mmm… thick, cloudy, nutrient-loaded sustenance!

DRINK IT LIKE THE UNDEAD! Slurp on one of these ultrarealistic sachets in public and you’re liable to get splatted with a cricket bat or chased out of town by an angry torch-wielding mob. Flippin’ humans, eh? Unfortunately Blood Energy Drinks won’t make you immortal or help you get off with Anna Paquin, but at least they’ll satisfy your insatiable blood lust. For now. Mwa-ha-ha!

£12 .79 (Was £15.99) with free delivery www.firebox.com/product/2769/Blood-Energy-Drinks

68 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

£12 .79


SERIOUSLY RIDICULOUS!

WHY PETS

H TE HALLOWEEN

O 0DUPCFSTUJU¤TUIBUUJNFPGZFBSBHBJ  XIFOXFEFHSBEFPVSTFMWFTXJUISJEJDVMPVT UIBU DPTUVNFTUPFTDBQFPVSSFBMJUJFT"TJG UPUIF XBTO¤UFOPVHIXF¤WFCSPVHIUPVSQFUTJO BEPSBCMF FRVBUJPO$IFDLPVUUIFTFIJMBSJPVT CVU BUF QFUTJODPTUVNFBOEZPV¤MMTFFXIZUIFZI JU )BMMPXFFOBMNPTUBTNVDIBTXFMPWF

OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

69


FOOD Y K N U F FETISHES

WRITTEN BY FELICITY PATRICK

HMMMNNN!

ÂŁ7.95

Here at Mayhem! we consider ourselves to be quite the gourmets of the snack world. This is, of course, purely based on the amount we consume on a weekly basis!

PNCJOBUJPOT D Z [ B S D F PN 8F¤WFGPVOET TUIJTNPOUI JF I D O V N T PV T BOENPOTUFS IPTFUBTUFCVE U MF L JD U Z MM B UPSPZ £2.97

CHOCOLATE PIZZA

1FQQFSPOJBOE TQJDFECFFG 1BI With its smooth Belgian milk chocolate crust and a variety of toppings, these pizzas kick even the tastiest savoury pizza to the kerb. Gourmetchocolatepizza.co.uk

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BACON CHOCOLATE

With the texture of that wonderful melty bit in the middle of a toasted marshmallow, it’s incredibly moreish.

This unusual chocolate bar contains chunks of applewood smoked bacon mixed with alder wood smoked salt and deep milk or dark chocolate. Put off yet, well don’t be.

With so many uses, such as spreading it on toast, plopping a dollop in your coffee or hot chocolate, creating sauces or shoving it in cookies and cakes, it’s melt in the mouth yumminess! Americansoda.co.uk

Surprisingly it somehow works. Rather than the train wreck you’re expecting, it’s a real explosion of flavours. Firebox.com

GIANT GUMMY WORM 5IF8PSME¤T-BSHFTU(VNNZ8PSN

Weighing in at 3lbs and measuring whopping 26 inches, that’s 128 times bigger than it’s smaller brother. It features a ribbed body and has a 5inch girth. Cripes! Handmade in the USA (where else?), this multicoloured chewy worm isn’t for the light-hearted; it packs a massive 4,000 calories! Firebox.com £26.49 70 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

ÂŁ26.49


WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS

UURRGHHH!

THE BEST

HANGOVER

CURES KNOWN TO MAN

you go out some Like a good student, tely hammered, ple com get and nights ke up the wa you to the point that ll sma a h wit ng rni next mo in your head. earthquake going off g you drank last cancel out everythin gone out on a Alternatively, we’ve , so here are a too hts few heavy nig hangover cures few tried and tested h the day. oug thr get to help you

JOHNNY B GOOD

ALKA-HOLIC

Your head is pounding like a bass speaker at an illegal rave and and you’re about three minutes away from pulling a Van Gogh on yourself to make it stop. The cause of this pulsating pain is an expansion of the blood vessels in the brain due to excessive alcohol intake. Taking B vitamins helps to counter the constant throbs by metabolising the alcohol, dilating the blood vessels and restoring energy to the body. Just be sure not to wash down the vitamins with last night’s left over punch.

Aside from your splitting headache, last night’s binge drink-a-thon has left your stomach a little queasy too – understatement of the century. When you consume large amounts of alcohol it irritates the stomach lining, increases stomach acid production and results in nausea. Two tablets of Alka-Seltzer work to neutralise stomach acid and replenish bicarbonates. In other words, it makes you not want to blow chunks everywhere or pebble-dash the toilet bowl… it’s only you that will have to clean it up!

72 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

BACON MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER It should come as no surprise that the greatest gift to drunken-kind can play a pivotal part in curing the hangover. When you binge drink you lose a ton of neurotransmitters, making your head feel like it’s full of lead. Chowing down on come succulent, greasy bacon provides your body with the amino acids to help clear your head and restore energy so you can get back to the bar asap. After all, what’s the deterrent to binge drinking if you now know the cure!


? u v a j de Th is P le n o t i c a se eh as you d r m r i n k r b een esp ate bro s! N o ugh o b o n s i bl y, k t to y dy o n wa nts ow yo u by thi u r li s at the m its a mag azi e nd nd ne lo of t h e ok ou . nig t fo ht! r

DRINK RESPONSIBLY


WRITTEN BY MIA HABENS & EDWARD COUZENS-LAKE

GET OFF YOUR COUCH AND LIVE A BIT!

If you have been putting off (and putting off) trying a new sport or any type of physical exercise for that matter, until after the New Year, take time to consider exactly what Britain is like in January. Icy winds, frost, blizzards and below zero temperatures are sure to derail all of your best intentions and, before you know it, it’ll be spring and that will be that for another year.

SPORTS

TO TRY THIS

AUTUMN 74 MAYHEM! | OCTOBER 2011

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GET OFF YOUR COUCH AND LIVE A BIT!

MOUNTAIN BIKING If you already have a bike then great! If not, you can usually get a half-decent one for around £150, both in store and online. A more common problem is finding a good spot to ride it. Luckily, there are lots of bike sites available online to help solve that problem, with details of routes through local beauty spots such as Queen Elizabeth Country Park, Eartham Wood, Duncton Down, and Bignor Hill (north of Chichester).

MOUNTAIN BOARDING This sport was developed by those perpetual adrenaline junkies, snowboarders, who were looking for some sommer fun. It’s best described as a hybrid between skateboarding and snowboarding. Your feet are strapped to the board, much like snowboarding, but if you fall there is no soft landing, like skateboarding… exhilarating! Basic boards start from around £80, but to have a go, just head down to Haredown (just outside Chichester) to take part in some beginners classes.

SAND YACHTING If you like the seaside, but prefer not to get cold and wet – try sand yachting (aka land yachting or land sailing). There are a lot fewer things for you to have to fiddle with than in a real boat and a second-hand craft can be yours for as little as £200. But, beware, if you get a taste for it, a top-of-the-range model can easily cost 20 times that.

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CANOEING KITING One for adults and children alike – or just the child in you. This is a popular sport on most Portsmouth beaches and parks as soon as the autumnal breezes pick up. Portsmouth also has its own International Kite Festival on Southsea Common. Is this a sport? Well, the amount of kite kit available suggests so, and trying to wrestle with large pieces of wind-battered sail for hours will certainly give you a workout! There are some rules however – for example, did you know that you can’t fly a kite higher than 200ft at night unless it has lights?

Most have us have been canoeing at some stage in our lives, probably at some forced-fun school trip a hundred years ago. But it’s fantastic exercise and a great way to get back to nature and relax. You will need a licence to drop a boat in one of Britain’s many waterways, but this comes free when you become a member of Canoe England (membership £32.75 a year). They can also hook you up with a club in your area so you can get started. You can also get a used canoe for about £100 – a small price to pay for paddling down a willow-lined canal and taking in the autumn paradise.

FELL RUNNING If you’re a keen jogger, then why not take it to the next level this autumn? Fell running is basically off-road running, but hardcore fell runners take part in competitions where their navigational skills are also tested – a bit like high-speed orienteering! It’s also a great way to keep super-fit and take in the Hampshire countryside and make new mates. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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CHECK OUT ISSUE 2 – OUT IN NOVEMBER

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PICK UP MAYHEM! NEXTMONTH

FROM 100’s OF LOCATIONS US Salons Sellars Delaneys The Eastney Cellars The Italian Bar & Grill

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Hampshire Boulevard The Spar The Old Vic Wrap & Roll CafĂŠ Perisian

The Deco

Feed CafĂŠ

Moulin Rouge Hairdressers

Groundlings Theatre Company

Bar Risa/ Highlight

Nevaeh Hair

The Barn

The Honest Politican

PJ’s Guitar Centre

Cascades Shopping Centre

Tully & Co

Hi-lites Hair & Beauty Studio

Isambard Kingdom Brunel

The Belle Isle

Vintage Pig

Coffee Cake

The Kings Theatre

Blackwells Academic BookShop

Old Blacksmiths Recording Studios

Dress Code

Bombay Express

Aspex Gallery

PORTSM OUT

H’S NEW

       

   

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If you would like to be part of Mayhem! Magazine, and join our distribution list, just let us know, and we’ll tell everyone who you are in the next issue. OCTOBER 2011 | MAYHEM!

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Mayhem! Magazine - Issue 1 - October 2011  

Mayhem! Magazine is a FREE monthly lifestyle magazine that doesn't take itself too seriously! Jam packed with humorous features, articles an...

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