RECLAMING YOUR TRUE SELF By Angela Dunning
W
e tend to view authenticity as some big, complex, and permanent state, something to be worked towards and attained eventually at some point. Yet, in my experience, authenticity is experienced in moments. Enormous moments nonetheless, particularly if you've spent your life hiding and running from your feelings and body sensations, stuffing your emotions away, denying them, and appeasing others. These old, old habits die very hard indeed, yet, they CAN start to die off. It is the gradual and steady accumulation of such important moments that, over time, lead to a much more solid sense of self and a return to our True Self. They are therefore vital in terms of our healing and personal growth and for building ego strength. These moments also return lost energy to us, usually in the form of suppressed anger and agency to act and protect ourselves. I want to really emphasize that to actually experience a moment of authenticity can feel nothing short of a personal revolution, and therefore, they must be honored as such. As you can now see just how far you've come and how gradually your patterns of defense, pretence, and denial have begun to unravel and transmute into something quite different. In fact, something quite strong, powerful, and beautiful.
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Such moments happen when what you are feeling, both emotionally and physically, is allowed simply to arise. There's no masking through your behavior and words, nor is there any tensing in your body. In fact, the opposite occurs: your body softens, your tears flow unencumbered, your manage to say what you do/don't need at that moment, and you give yourself permission and space to let this experience unfold in its own way and time. Within these complex moments, where a lot is going on simultaneously in the body and the brain, there is also a very brief window of opportunity. This is the moment where we can make a choice: We can choose to speak up. We can choose to let our emotions flow. We can choose to stay with ourselves this time and not neglect ourselves in favor of either saving face or making the other person/people feel more comfortable. As Brené Brown reminds us: Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice, to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.