RECLAMING YOUR TRUE SELF
By Angela Dunning
The Powerof “Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ~Anna Taylor
T
he ability to say No and set boundaries is a fundamental life skill. Unfortunately, many children are never taught or modeled this by their parents and other adults in their early lives.
It is the primary and ultimate act of self-care, the way to protect our bodies, minds, and spirit from violation, intrusion, and manipulation by others. It is a way to stand up for ourselves and to set and proclaim the limits of our tolerance of others’ behaviors towards us. It is, of course, also how we respectfully relate to others as we,
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in turn, must respect the power of their No. There is a wonderful saying that was handed down to me during my professional training, which I think can also be applied to this topic. It is: “You only ever need to apologize once.” I think we only ever need to say No once. Yet, rarely is our first No heeded. Often we have to say it again and again until the other party gets and respects it. When power imbalances also exist in the relationships, this is very often the case, but it shouldn’t be. No matter to whom or why we are saying NO, that is our final, definitive answer.