T he
river flows again
By Jayita Bhattacharjee Grief by its very essence, goes through a pattern of contractions and expansions that repeats itself. It may overwhelm us, as to how and why we are going through a process of extremes. The two, by definition are opposites. We shrink and then expand. The shrinkage is essential for the expansion to set its foot. The shrinking, the contraction need not be controlled, neither does it need to be interfered with. Rather contraction paves the pathway for expansion. In such way, contraction is an essential part of expansion. Contraction of grief happens when all our focus, thoughts, energy and attention are pulled completely inwards. And we begin to live in our own created world. That is a world that arises from our thoughts, while we become oblivious of the world around us wanting to share our pain, so we do not have to suffer silently. We are not so much aware of the surroundings around us as we are too absorbed by grief, way too overwhelmed by it coming so hard, so intensely. As we become aware only of our thoughts, we cut the rest of the world out and through such a cutting, we exclude them all and all that we include is our own thoughts processes. We begin to contract and the emotional tightening begins to happen. All our energy and attention is conserved as we focus intently on grief. In those moments of contraction, it feels like being hit by the hardest pain ever and our very survival is in question. We may begin to feel unsafe, tumbling inside, unsteady with our every movement and so unheld in our rolling emotions. We feel unloved, fearful and vulnerable. Living becomes a daily struggle. We sense as if the emotional tightening will help to save us from whatever has struck along the path of life. Instead of forcing anything on us, if we allow the contraction to just be, in time we will see, that it will wane out, and the tightness will loosen and we will expand in the light of rising beneath the light of a new day. And how beautifully grief unfolds.