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Sexy News

What would you do for tuition and textbook money? Discuss at


Who’s your daddy?

Students use website to find ‘sugar daddies’ to pay their tuition


babies, as many do, but rather the sugar daddies. “I kind of feel like, I mean, it’s their choice for, say, young girls, for what they want to do. But at the same time, I think it’s almost kind of unfair, and I think for the sugar daddies it’s wrong for them to be doing that. I don’t think it’s necessarily the right thing to do.” On the other hand, Bertram de Souza wrote for out of Pennsylvania that he doesn’t see PA ND OR the relationship as any different A from other things you may see students doing at university. “They aren’t doing anything they YATEwouldn’t S normally be doing on campus,” he VI EW writes. “The difference is that the men who are ‘supporting’ them have FO R T the financial means to make their colB UG H TO N S lege experience a R Obreeze—instead T of a slog.” HUM





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cent expecting to finish with more than $40 000. Further, a report from the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives shows that average tuition fees have gone up 6.2 per cent each year since 1990 to a now average cost of $6186 per year to study at a Canadian university. This figure doesn’t include the cost of books, housing, or other needs, which can more than double that yearly expense. The morality behind sugar relationships is also something that comes to mind for many. “I don’t think I could ever bring myself to do that,” said fourth-year Education student Erin Campbell. “It would just seem really weird, creepy almost.” Another student, fourth-year Psychology major Linnea Saitel saw the issue as not with the sugar


recent release. With the cost of tuition continually rising, it might not be surprising that so many students are using such websites as to find their very own benefactor to help fund their schooling and curb the ever-looming student debt. “We’re all consenting adults,” said second-year student Julie Miller, who is not a user of the service. “We’re university students. We’re educated . . . If that’s how you want to pay for it, it’s better than student loans.” Many seem to feel the same way. A poll done for Bank of Montreal, according to the CBC, suggests that student debt is one of the biggest stressors for those who borrow, with 58 per cent of post-secondary students expecting to graduate with close to $20 000 in debt, and 21 per




Money, jewelry, clothes, cars, international holidays, and, most importantly, tuition and books. Many people would love to meet a fabulously wealthy benefactor who loved to give such gifts, all for the delight of their company. As it turns out, the number of university students looking for just this is increasing rapidly as more people start getting creative with how they find ways to pay rising tuition fees. is a website that connects “sugar babies” (typically young, attractive people looking for a financial leg up) with their “sugar daddies,” the ones who want to give it to them. According to a recent press release, the average college sugar baby is

receiving approximately $3000 each month in cash and gifts from their daddies, and UVic has been catching onto this trend, as home of the eighth fastest-growing membership among universities in the country. So who are these sugar daddies? According to an article in Monday Magazine, they can range from 21 to 84 years old, with the average age being 40 years old. The average income of the sugar daddy is $247 757, and net worth about $5.3 million. What they look for in a sugar relationship can vary greatly however, with some who just want companionship, others who are looking for a few added benefits, and some looking for love. Out of the website’s 2.7 million members worldwide, one million are students, according to the




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DALLAS ROAD WATERFRONT February 6, 2014 MARTLET • NEWS 3 Insertion: Feb. 6, 2014 Due: Jan. 31, 2014 – 4pm

CSEC: the organization most Canadians may not know about JEREMY VERNON


This government agency employs over 2000 people and has a budget of $422 million. It is housed in the most expensive building in Canadian government history—worth $1.1 billion. It has sweeping authority outside other government bodies, including the RCMP. Yet, most Canadians have never heard of it, its activity is more or less beyond public scrutiny, and, recent information reveals, it collects a gamut of information about Canadians, without their knowledge or consent. The Communications Security Establishment Canada (CSEC) is the true-north equivalent to the much maligned National Security Agency (NSA) of the United States— meaning, the primary body for surveilling telecommunications. It is not to be confused with Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS), which is the Canadian national intelligence agency (similar to the U.S. CIA).

CSEC is accountable to the Minister of Defence, Peter Mackay, and its activities are not widely known. It is expressly illegal for CSEC to collect information on Canadians, including so-called “metadata” collection—the sort of activity conducted by the NSA, as revealed by Edward Snowden. However, Canada is a member of the “Five Eyes” group of countries (including the U.S., U.K., Australia, and New Zealand) that have shared intelligence for decades. The nature of these countries’ information sharing is mostly secret, yet spokespeople for the relevant agencies say no laws are violated in letter or spirit, and agencies respect the privacy of citizens. However, former NSA systems administrator Edward Snowden’s leaks cast serious doubt over the veracity of such statements. Specifically, in documents released by Snowden, it was revealed that CSEC used airport Wi-Fi to track the activities of Canadian travelers. This appears to contradict CSEC’s statements and

Canadian law. Such metadata collection allows CSEC to track the activity of not only those who used airport Wi-Fi, but may also reveal the whereabouts of those they communicated with, how long they were in contact, and the services they used to communicate. This information collection was part of a trial run for software developed by CSEC for use by it and the NSA. The metadata may allow CSEC to construct detailed profiles of Canadians, including their browsing habits, friends, and contacts, as well as their physical movements—without a warrant and without disclosure to anyone but government. Whether or the extent to which CSEC strictly violates Canadian laws and the privacy of Canadians is unknown. Canadians, as citizens, know little about the activity of this agency, despite its resources and potentially low parliamentary oversight. Promise of improved security offered by CSEC may be unsubstantiated.

Sex workers in Victoria get by with little help from their friends

The PEERS Opportunity Centre resides at 744 Fairview Road in Victoria.

STUART ARMSTRONG A Google search for escort services in Victoria results in four agency pages and a number of independent operators who use titles such as “elite courtesan” and “independent licence escort.” What is not so obvious, however, is the difficulty in moving from the sex trade to mainstream employment, which has been made harder by the B.C. government’s funding changes to the Prostitution Empowerment Education and Resource Society (PEERS), which has changed from directly funded to semiannual one-time budgets. A 50 per cent cut in the organization’s monthly operational budget has forced PEERS to scale back operations, close its


walk-in office and shut down its sixmonth pre-employment program, ELEMENTS, which included counselling for drug addiction, personal planning and career, and interview advising five days a week, with one day of personal one-on-one counselling, coaching, and support work. According to a phone interview with PEERS Executive Director Marion Little, the program funding changes were made in 2012, moving the organization into a subcontract through three other provincial agencies. PEERS now reports to the Employment Program of B.C. (EPBC) under the Ministry of Social Development and Social Innovation, which has made funding structure changes and cuts (from a monthly

February 6, 2014


budget of $32 000 to $16 000) and changed the application process for PEERS clients. According to Little, the changes included adapting to semiannual budgets instead of monthly grants that PEERS could previously apply for as needed. Little says this new arrangement does not provide specialized or specific funding for PEERS. As the fee for services is only submitted once a year, it creates cash flow problems. She says the funding is not given upfront at the start of the year, causing several PEERS services to be cut. Also, EPBC requires the personal information of program users. This has caused some hesitancy among PEERS clients, who previously could rely on anonymity. Now, however, multiple government

agencies may have access to sensitive personal information about clients. After all these changes, there has been a dramatic drop in services for sex workers trying to get out of the life. In August, PEERS was handling 45 clients through its various programs, and as of mid-January interview, only four had been placed in similar programs run by the provincial government. One was referred to a similar program in August, and three had since been placed in other programs (the other 41 have not been placed, according to Little). PEERS limited its service times to a few hours twice a week, Mondays and Wednesdays; however, its day and night outreach programs will continue due to separate funding from the

Vancouver Island Health Authority, B.C. Gaming Commission, United Way and private donors. PEERS will continue to conduct nightly needle exchanges and provide condoms, food, coffee, and a safe place to report assaults. Daytime services of transport to appointments with government officials, court appearances, doctor appointments, hospital, and detox visits will continue. This reduction in services has raised concern with the Victoria Police Department’s Special Victims Unit and AIDS Vancouver Island. At this time, there is little indication that the provincial government will change its stance on funding or administrative changes.

Morgan Purvis is Victoria’s new Youth Poet Laureate.


Victoria’s new Youth Poet Laureate looks to propel youth arts POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATE ADAM HAYMAN “I really believe there are so many young people in this town that are revolutionizing spoken word.” That’s a quote from Victoria’s new Youth Poet Laureate (YPL), Morgan Purvis. Purvis, a business student at Camosun, has worn the title of Youth Poet Laureate since Jan. 13 and is already planning events, and stirring up the pot. Under the mentorship of prominent Victoria-based poet Jeremy Loveday and former YPL Aysia Law, Purvis said that she is already, “feeling a little bit more confident. A little bit more ready to take risks poetically.” “I said ‘vagina’ in city hall, which was pretty cool,” said Purvis. “It was my first time reading in city hall. I was gonna do this very, sort of, stiff collar piece I wrote about the City of Victoria and sustainable development, and then [Jeremy Loveday] said, ‘Just do your usual stuff. Be a youth, do something cool,’ and so I did a poem about feminism and said vagina, and it was awesome.” Purvis wasn’t quite sure what to

expect when she was given the title, especially considering this is only the program’s second year. “I was a little bit cynical,” said Purvis. “I thought it was just gonna be a bunch of grownups patting my head, saying ‘Cute 20-year-old girl, who cares?’ and Aysia said, ‘I thought so too, but they’ll take you really seriously.’” So far, Purvis has fit into the role comfortably and has many projects on the horizon. Purvis will perform at the Victoria Spoken Word Festival on its opening night, March 8. The Canadian Spoken Word Festival will also come to Victoria this year in October. “There will be Poets from all across the country,” said Purvis, “and the plan, as it stands at the moment, is to have a day of youth programming at that national festival. So as we have the eyes of the country, we’re going to talk about the importance of youth programming and youth poetry in the country and feature some of the best youth poets across the country with the national media looking on them.” The youth poetry scene in Victoria is a main component of what makes this position so important. As Purvis said, “Poetry in

this town for youth has exploded.” To sum up her position in her own words, Purvis said that being YPL is about “being a voice of youth poetry and an advocate for youth and youth arts.” In an artistic town such as Victoria, it’s an important job. The position of YPL is funded by Reliance Properties. “It’s fantastic to have the private funding,” said Purvis, “and pretty sad and tragic that the city won’t come up with the money to pay for it.” Another one of Purvis’ initiatives is to convince the city to support the program in the years to follow. Last year, on March 18, Purvis got the chance of a lifetime to help produce a live reading with a spoken word idol of hers, Buddy Wakefield. Wakefield is a Seattle-based, twotime Individual World Slam Poetry Champion (2005, 2006), who, after a Facebook message from Purvis, was convinced to come to Victoria and perform. As the YPL, Purvis is excited to announce she will once again produce Wakefield’s show when he comes to the Alex Goolden Hall this May 16.




February 6, 2014




Sagacity: Victoria’s local alternative lifestyle society JANINE CROCKETT Sagacity is Victoria’s longest running alternative lifestyle society, founded in 2000. In the time since then, alternative, kink, fetish, and BDSM lifestyles have become a little more mainstream due to a greater presence in the media—television, movies, and books. Sam Quinn, Sagacity’s founder and president, says the society’s mandate is primarily “to provide education and a place for people who are interested or involved in alternative lifestyles, kink, fetish, or BDSM.” “When we originally started, we were the only guys around,” Quinn goes on to say, “in Victoria for sure, anyway. It made a good jumping-off point for wanting to learn more or getting involved. Of course, you have to remember, when we started this back then, there wasn’t a lot of information available on the Internet. Now you can google and you can find everything.” “It was very difficult to find anything, any kind of information. It was very, very in the closet. It wasn’t out there. You didn’t talk about it. So we started

Sagacity, and over the years it’s grown and grown, and now there are lots of organizations here in Victoria and on the Island and in the mainland and everywhere,“ says Quinn. Now there are groups like Fetlife, which Quinn describes as a Facebook for alternative people. Quinn says, “It’s free, you get a login, and they have groups and information. It’s huge, it’s mammoth. Anything you could possibly think of and probably things you couldn’t even think of, it’s all there.” Although alternative lifestyle organizations have grown in number, and education on the subject is widely available, some presumptions still survive. One such is that kink, BDSM, and other lifestyles all involve sex. Sagacity events as a rule are strictly role-playing with no sex or penetration of any kind allowed. Another is that people get hurt participating in these activities. If they play by the rules, though, they won’t get hurt. Quinn says, “For people in BDSM, there are some really key words that are incredibly important. First and foremost, that is respect, consensuality, negotiation,

and honesty.” Acting out a scenario or scene, as Quinn puts it, involves a series of negotiations in regards to what a person can do or can’t do, while also setting up guidelines and discussing limits. Participants also use a safe word to stop the scenario immediately if they wish to do so. Quinn says, “A single person, particularly a girl or woman, going to a BDSM event is probably safer than going to any single bar or any club that I can think of, because of the level of respect that kink people exhibit.” Quinn is unsure of the official number of participants in the society, but believes over the years thousands of members have passed through Sagacity. “People come and people go, and because of the nature of what we do, we don’t require that folks have to sign anything official or provide their real names or anything like that—because a lot of people are not comfortable with that, even though kink is becoming more mainstream for sure and there is more acceptance of it at some level,” says Quinn. Participants are able to use a scene

name, which is a pseudonym for use at kink events; for example, Quinn’s scene name is Ladyfish. Some participants still shy away from revealing their real identities, because of fear that it could affect their jobs or upset their family, including children. However, Quinn says, “It’s my belief that everybody is kinky. Whether you acknowledge it or not, that doesn’t change that you are. And a lot of times you don’t acknowledge it, because you don’t understand it. You have a different idea of what that means than what the reality of it is. If you think about it, any kind of roleplaying is considered kinky.” Quinn uses the comparison of roleplaying games as children, such as playing house. She says, “Who made that rule that said ‘Okay, well I’m sorry, but you can’t play dress-up anymore and you can’t play house anymore and you can’t play school anymore.’ That’s silly. As we get older, it is still fun to role play, particularly when you get to that place where you know that’s all it is.” Quinn suggests “vanilla people”— as those in the kink community call

those uninitiated into the world of kink—who wish to learn more or become participants should read material they can find through Google and also highly recommends using Fetlife. Once on Fetlife, it is possible to search an area for groups that match a person’s interests and find out about these groups’ events. At events, Quinn says, “There’s not expectations, there’s never expectations whatsoever. If you go to a party, if you go anywhere, there’s never ever anybody who says ‘You’re here, you have to play.’ You only play if you want to.” Sagacity does four to six specialized events through the year. The next one, Domlander, is March 29, from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., at the Victoria Events Centre. Quinn says, “It’s our fetish fashion competition. This is our 12th year, and it’s really well-known in the kink community for sure, and a lot of other people come too. It’s a fun show; it’s a take-off of the movie Zoolander. We have judges; it’s a competition. We have amazing prizes and it’s just a lot of fun. It’s a live show. It’s a sellout every year.”

2014 UVIC Graduate Students’ Society Executive Board Election

Graduate students!

If you want to advocate, organize and improve life for graduate students both on and off campus, consider running for election to the GSS Executive Board. Any currently registered graduate student at UVIC is eligible to run for election.

What positions can I run for?

Chair, Director of Communications, Director of Services, Director of Student Affairs, Director of Finance

What’s in it for me?

In addition to feeling good for helping graduate students, Executive Board members are paid a small monthly stipend and receive a wee discount on food at the Grad House. They also gain experience sitting on senior university committees. 6 NEWS • MARTLET

February 6, 2014

Where can I get a nomination package and more information on running?

Nominations open February 12, 2014. Nomination packages, rules & information are available at the GSS office or on the GSS website, http:// Deadline for submitting nomination packages: February 25, 2014 at midnight.

When & where can I vote?

Voting is via webvote from 9 am March 5 to 4:30 pm on March 7, 2014. Vote at

More info:

Contact the GSS Electoral Officer, Gordon Black

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Garry Oak Restoration Project (GORP) at Playfair Park in Saanich


Garry Oak Restoration Project strives to preserve Garry oak ecosystems JACOB MENTZ Chances are, most people know what a Garry oak is. They’ve walked under them in parks and on shaded streets. What some might not know is the important role they play in the local ecosystem. When Victoria’s early governor, James Douglas, arrived in Victoria, he declared it to be “a perfect Eden” as compared to the rest of the dreary Pacific Northwest. In contrast to the towering, dense evergreen forests this region is known for, Victoria was host to open meadows filled with wildflowers. The reason for the dissimilarity was Victoria’s native Garry oak forests. Widely spaced, sprawling Garry oak trees allow a greater biodiversity than is found in the dark, thick forests of the mainland. These ecosystems host numerous species, some of them very rare, that are found nowhere else in the world. Many of the creatures that inhabit Garry oaks rely on them for survival and have a hard time existing in other ecosystems.

Unfortunately, undisturbed Garry oak forests are quite rare in Victoria today. Victims of development and fragmentation, Garry oak ecosystems are predominantly found only in small patches scattered throughout the capital region. However, there are groups like the Garry Oak Restoration Project (GORP) working to ensure that Victoria does not lose what is remaining. An initiative of the Saanich municipal government, GORP strives to care for and restore the endangered Garry oak forests that remain. Since 1999, they have actively promoted community involvement on the issue of Garry oak preservation. They work to encourage the recovery of Garry oaks, through hands-on initiatives, such as the removal of invasive species. The changes they have wrought are seen around Mount Douglas (P’KOLS), Chatterton Hill, Feltham Park, and other regions throughout Saanich. Visitors to these and GORP’s other sites will notice a great number of native plants, and maybe even some native animals enjoying the

results of GORP’s hard work. Although there have been many achievements, GORP and its volunteers are not about to rest on their laurels. Education is central to their restoration efforts. For this reason, they will hold “restoration walks” in Playfair Park. Located a little west of UVic, Playfair Park is one of Victoria’s most intact tracts of Garry oak forest. Two restoration walks, scheduled for Feb. 13, will educate participants on Garry oak ecosystems and the work being done to protect them. UVic’s own Dr. Val Schaefer, the administrator of the Restoration of Natural Systems Program in the School of Environmental Studies, will lead the walks. The focus of the walks is on urban forests and the crucial role trees play in sustainable development. The walks offer opportunity to explore a piece of Victoria’s natural history in the company of one of the foremost experts on urban ecology and to learn more about what can be done to preserve an important part of our local ecosystems.

February 6, 2014



Government of Canada launches innovative Holocaust remembrance and education program PETER BOLDT Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC), in congruence with the National Film board of Canada (NFB), has initiated a new education program to provide Canadian educators with resources for teaching the events of the Holocaust. International Holocaust Remembrance day took place on Jan. 27, the anniversary of the liberation of the AuschwitzBirkenau concentration camp. To commemorate the event, both the CIC and the NFB held a virtual classroom that provided Canadian educators the opportunity to learn

and interact. The virtual classroom facilitated educational tools to teach Canadian students about Holocaust remembrance. On Feb. 4, another virtual classroom on the subject was broadcast in French. Participants in the Jan. 27 virtual classroom included 30 educators from across the country, as well as instructors from the University of Manitoba, Lakehead University, and the University of Ottawa. The virtual classrooms help educators discover innovative new approaches to teaching the events of the Holocaust and provide insight on lessons such as human rights,

humanitarian intervention, citizenship ,and genocide. Amanda Lannan,from CIC said, “The Government of Canada is committed to teaching future generations the lessons of the Holocaust and to preventing future acts of genocide. Canada is proud to support Holocaust education in schools, to work to ensure that the memory of the Holocaust is never lost.” The virtual classroom was specifically designed for educators of secondary students Grades 9–12 and for college instructors that teach material relevant to the events of the Holocaust. The events facilitated

experts, such as winner of the CIC Award for Excellence in Holocaust Education Scott Masters, to answer questions raised by participating educators. The NFB also provided films and other educational meterials for participants to engage with. Following the event, Gerry Chidiac, a B.C. high school instructor from Prince George, said, “This has been amazing! I got to interact with others across the country who are teaching the same topic as I am. It was enlightening and very enriching. I am so grateful and look forward to further interactions with this amazing group of educators!”

In addition, the CIC and NFB have partnered with the Azrieli Foundation, an organization dedicated to the publication of memoirs and documentaries of Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Canada. Participants in the virtual classroom will have access to the memoirs as well. The CIC and NFB hope to continue the virtual classroom project and will send out a survey to the participating educators. The virtual classroom has also covered topics such as education in the Canadian experience of residential schools and issues of environmental and climate change with David Suzuki.

CFUV is an award-winning campus/community radio station based at the University of Victoria. For more information about CFUV, including volunteer info, our program schedule, complete charts and much more, visit us at

CFUV TOP TEN — Week Of February 4, 2014 1.

SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS Give The People What They Want (Daptone)


GROSSBUSTER + Dubble Mint (Self-Released)



THE PACK A.D. * Do Not Engage (Nettwerk)


STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS Wig Out At Jag Bags (Matador)

NEIL YOUNG * Live At The Cellar Door (Reprise)


CHEAP TIME Exit Smiles (In The Red)


DOG DAY * Fade Out (Fun Dog)



THE BAND * Live At The Academy Of Music 1971: The Rock Of Ages Concerts (Capitol)

BETRAYERS * Let The Good Times Die (Perfect Master)


MIKE DOWNES * All My Faults (Self-Released)

*Canadian artist

+Local artist

LISTEN: 101.9FM in Victoria | | Telus Optik 7033 ONLINE: Twitter @CFUV | |


February 6, 2014

Sexy Opinions

If you really want me, and you think I’m sexy, like me on Facebook and let me know—



Sex is great—communicate By many accounts, romantic overtures were once a little simpler. Romance and sexuality required only a slightly veiled indication of interest to make intentions clear. Of course, the complexity beneath the surface has likely changed little over history. It’s just that, in modern society, the average person is more equipped—and permitted—to match language to their tangled inner lives. One can lead a complicated love life more openly than was acceptable in the past. We are gradually moving away from a cultural model designed around one dominant gender, sexual orientation, and format for sexual appetites. This goes beyond simple categories such as “straight,” “gay,” and “bi.” Such attributes are a question of degree, not category—they are the barest account of any individual’s sexual identity, providing little insight into their specific tastes. In reality, there are as many sexual and romantic preferences as there are body shapes and personalities—more, in fact, since some fetishes and fantasies can only be fulfilled within the realm of imagination. As society becomes less restrictive, we can more readily express the full spectrum of our feelings toward one another. The attitude in more progressive circles is that increasing people’s freedom can’t be a bad thing—provided that the resulting behaviour does not cause harm by infringing upon others’ freedom. However, change brings a new set of challenges. What were formerly considered “forbidden desires,” must be communicated clearly. A maze of cues and signals must be navigated to find others with common desires. These cues are highly diverse, and still subdividing. They range from the widely recognized and broad (such as winking), to the culturally specific, to the private cues of couples or groups. They can include facial expressions, gestures, and body language, whether consciously planned or involuntary. Perhaps the most complex yet unambiguous messages are broadcast via fashion and other forms of artistic self-expression. A person’s choices about their physical appearance are generally the first things that others notice. Sometimes they remain the only reliable metric by which others can get a read on them. There is no inherent danger in two consenting adults expressing their desires. However, the subtlety and complexity of modern sexuality is characterized as a problem by many ideologues. Supporters of social progress have been criticized for generating unnecessary confusion over “what it means” to be a man or woman. The erosion of culturally ingrained values is often invoked as an argument against changing sexual mores or our perception of them. Russia is a prime example of this mentality. The Russian legal system’s holdout against the growing trend of acceptance in the developed world is attracting some dirty looks, now that all eyes are on Sochi. However, even in North America, there is often intense pressure to represent oneself as “normal.” Nuance and deviation may be more tolerated, but are often a source of anxiety—any cues and signals that could possibly suggest anything abnormal or forbidden are avoided. Evolving a more complex set of tools for connecting with others has provided profound benefits, despite the conflict with established norms. Sophisticated communication allows for deeper connections, and can allow you to learn about a person whose surface you may not even have scratched otherwise. Everyone should have the freedom to inquire about shared experiences and compatible sexual desires in others. Denying our culture’s ongoing march toward complexity is pointless—the most that the reluctant and fearful people of the world can hope for is to delay. The underlying narrative of our culture is telling us that people who feel something for each other should be able to explore that feeling, without having arbitrary barriers placed in their way. Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our editorial meetings, held weekly in the Martlet office (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members. Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: The Martlet has an open letter policy and will endeavour to publish letters received from the university and local community. Letters must be submitted by email, include your real name and affiliation to UVic and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited.


One nightstand

Rethinking the onenight stand EMMA SHAW One-night stands are among the most taboo of weekend activities. It is difficult to go through university life without this topic being presented in some form. It is a slang term that refers to sex that was the first and last of its kind. Though one-night stands fit nicely into the world of modern love, our approach to them does not. So often we feel the need to lie, justify, exaggerate or conceal our experiences because of the strict categories we are often pressured to put them in. The one-night stand conversation typically has two camps: supporters and condemners. We all know someone who thinks one-night stands are an empowering and enjoyable experience, and we all know someone who thinks they are empty and shameful. The latter opinion has been popular in the past, considering that cultural stigma surrounding casual sex has long pinned the one-night stand as

public enemy number one. However, as cultural norms surrounding dating evolve, so does the meaning of this controversial rendezvous. So, who is right? Do one-night stands deserve a walk of shame the next morning or a walk of fame? I firmly believe that the answer is neither. I have noticed a pattern in previous discussions on the topic. Often, when a person is asked if they have ever personally engaged in a one-night stand, their description is based on a highly personal and unique understanding of the term. The following are examples I have heard that might sound familiar to you, as well: “Yes, but we were friends for three years before that night,” “Yes, but I had a huge crush on him after that and texted him every weekend,” “Yes, but we spent the whole day together the next day and now I’m thinking of asking her out,” “Yes, but we had a magical connection for that night.” All of these constitute a onenight stand in some respects and a

meaningful relationship in others. Clearly, labelling the topic is nonsensical, given the richness of this grey area. When we take into account the variety of interpretations of this act, the word begins to lose its meaning. If a person feels a connection toward a one-night stand for a long period of time, it becomes a lasting experience. Two people can have sex that’s a one-night stand for one, and not so much for the other. Though this is a seemingly fixed action with black and white opinions surrounding it, a onenight stand may be a relative term. Instead of forcing ourselves into the “lover” and “hater” category of the great one-night stand debate, we should simply embrace its place in the “it’s complicated”-section of our sexuality that is already home to so many aspects of our personal lives. Whether you’ve had one, haven’t had one, would like one, or would like to forget about one, the choice is yours: the one-night stand is in the eye of the beholder.

February 6, 2014


The importance of being Miley

Is Miley Cyrus’s image overhaul merely gratuitous attention grabbing? Or is she pushing the boundaries of sexual expression (inadvertently or intentionally)? INA PACE Hypocritically, I guess, I have become indifferent to Miley Cyrus’s behaviour as I type this. But now I’ve committed myself to fuelling her publicity once again. Cyrus has made her point, and, frankly, I’m bored with it. But the discussion surrounding the principles of fame and artistry still intrigue me. Destiny Hope Cyrus, otherwise known as Miley “Smiley” Cyrus, is merely one amongst many artists who use “sex” to sell. Cyrus is intentionally pushing the boundaries of sexual expression, but she is being far from original. To name but a few, Rihanna has given a “fan” a lap-dance on stage, Madonna has deliberately given fans a nipple slip at the age of 50-something (she also made out with Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards (VMAs) back in 2003), and this past Halloween, Lady Gaga decided she would finally strip naked at G-A-Y nightclub in London (albeit briefly, with her back to the audience, as she walked offstage with no mainstream media around her). I personally regard these acts as plain unnecessary. Thus, I am part of a chain that admits distaste by confessing an honest opinion. This creates gossip, which ironically creates publicity, and fuels the fame of the artist. I couldn’t give a shit about what happens to the artist, or of how bigger deal people make of things; I care more about professing an opinion the once and leaving it at that. Although I’m largely indifferent, my distaste for Cyrus comes about not from her sexual artistry but from aspects of her persona, which made me perceive her artistry in a distasteful light. My prejudice stems from an interview on Friday Night with Johnathon Ross in 2009 (up till then, I actually liked what I’d seen of her); she came across as highly arrogant, controlling, and, frankly, sounded like she needed a good slap for being so irritating. My other problem with Cyrus was when she rebuffed Irish singer Sinead O’Connor’s concern about letting the music industry exploit Cyrus for her sex appeal, rather than her talent. Cyrus poked fun at O’Connor’s former mental illness. If one assumes that Twitter is a more reliable source than say, The Daily Mail, (tweets are usually direct quotes from the celebrities) then I feel confident assuming Cyrus to be self-centred and insensitive. I also saw a video interview in which Cyrus narrow-mindedly assumes people stop having sex at the age of 40, which came across as naive. As a result, I looked upon her oversuggestive acts as vulgar and immature for the sake of it, contrasting with other artists’ sexual acts. Rihanna and Lady Gaga (not so much Madonna) at least look like they are being artistic with their provocativeness by not sexualising themselves as if intoxicated. At the VMAs, Lady Gaga wore nothing but a thong and bra; no one cared because she didn’t act crass. People didn’t react strongly because they expect that attire from her; they were not prepared for Cyrus’s so-called extremity. Although Cyrus’s principles are similar to the aforementioned artists,



her controversial performance with married singer Robin Thicke set a new standard. Breaking boundaries and setting standards seems to be a blatant requirement of those seeking headlines and, albeit temporary, superstardom. Talking points are created, nothing more. People will ultimately get bored when they think no decent music is accompanying it, or that the boundaries have been pushed so much to the extreme that there are none left to break. However, this is unless you are a marketing genius able to reinvent yourself. Admittedly, that’s what Cyrus has demonstrated a talent for. My theory as to why Cyrus’s celebrity has risen so much is that she has released “shocking” acts back-toback: her VMA performance was closely succeeded by her “Wrecking Ball” video, in which she appears naked and suggestively licks a sledgehammer. There is also the poor excuse that people cannot shake off Cyrus’s child-star image, whereas we have not known any significant difference in the behaviour of the other aforementioned artists. Robin Thicke’s mother, Gloria Loring, said of Cyrus’s VMA

February 6, 2014

performance: ”[Cyrus is] misbegotten in this attempt of hers. And I think it was not beneficial . . . I didn’t get what her point was. It was so over-the-top as to almost be a parody of itself.” I have to agree with Loring. Cyrus’s performance at the VMAs, her “Wrecking Ball” video, and her photoshoot by Terry Richardson last year appear to parody sexual provocativeness in today’s media. Does this make Cyrus a worthy role model? Well, I’m not sure actually. On one hand, she is relishing the freedom of expression; on the other hand, she is promoting a culture in which girls parody the prim and proper. I’m not sure this is a good idea for those kids largely exposed to the media, particularly those who potentially won’t know much different. Cyrus’s iconic tongue is, in fact, her personal way of dealing with the awkwardness of photo shoots and being herself. Her nudity and other rude gestures, however, are mere recipes for an evolving society more at liberty with sexual expression and extravagance, of which Cyrus is one of many pioneers. Although Cyrus’s provocativeness is not new, her vulgarity or parodying of provocativeness (since

that haircut) has made her a celebrity in her own right, fighting off the image of being Billy Rae Cyrus’s daughter or “that girl from Hannah Montana.” Cyrus openly refused to apologise for her VMA performance, labelling it a “strategic hot mess.” I agree with her. Rather than being gratuitous, she’s strategic in her attention-grabbing. It’s kept fans and haters gossiping for months, and has boosted her record and ticket sales. Clearly people still want to hear about this. Her raunchy performance became the most tweeted-about event in history. Though it may not look it, the performance was carefully choreographed by Diane Martel, who also worked on the video for Robin Thicke’s notorious “Blurred Lines.” Cyrus confessed to Ellen Degeneres that the performance was meant to be a laugh and that Thicke was fully aware of what was coming and “[. . .] loving it!” in rehearsal. At the time, Martel told Grazia magazine, “Kids do this thing— if you haven’t noticed . . . kind of like making fun of trying to be pretty and prim on the photographs. That’s the culture [Miley’s] part of: she’s 20 years old.”

Hannah Montana grew up, or, as Cyrus herself bluntly put it, Montana was “murdered.” Cyrus no longer wants to be perceived as a child; she is giving her Montana fans a simple reality check, that people change over time and ought to be free to express themselves in any way they wish. In this case, are we to accept the overstepping of old-fashioned decency as a society, with our sneaky glimpses of nipples, crotches, and “duck-faces?” At this rate, perhaps full-frontal nudity in mainstream media will be common whether we care or not. We can choose to change the channel, have a look out of curiosity, and then choose whether or not to gossip or voice an opinion. Either way, society will probably remain unchanged. Most of us question change before acknowledging it. Believe it or not, I’m not a hater of Cyrus. I may not find her tasteful, but I admire her for having the balls to sell herself so well. First and foremost, however, I will support an artist for their talents, no matter what their media personality or image is. Write some better tunes, Miley, and I’ll give you a listen—maybe even a download!

The Lens: Valentine’s Day


Lost in the music and you LIV PERRY

It’s no Earth-shattering discovery that when two things come together and they work, the results can be awesome. Whether it’s the composition of sounds in your new favorite song or chemistry between two people, union has the potential to be great: that song you can’t stop listening to, for instance. Music can be enjoyed for what it is and doesn’t necessarily need to be probed for meaning. Different people like different music, and who am I to say how you experience it? For myself though, with most songs I’ve been in love with, there comes a point in the music when all the dynamics come together in such a way that it almost reaches a spiritual level. Everything else on my mind fades away, and the only thing I’m feeling is the sound. Whether it’s the 3.31-minute mark in Pretty Lights’ “Done Wrong” or the harmony at the end of “Brad’s Song” by Current Swell. Either way, I just eargasmed. What we feel like listening to also changes with our mood. I’ll love electronic music until the day I die, but I don’t want to hear it all day, every day. Variety is the spice of life, right? We’ve all had to retire songs we loved because the magic just wasn’t there anymore, kind of like relationships.


Bottom line: when the song is right and you’re feeling it, music can reach a whole other level of awesome. The same could be said about sex. If you and the person you’re getting into it with are on the same page, it’s probably going to rock. But if something just isn’t feeling right, or you’re

freaking out about the food baby you left Floyd’s Diner with, you’re gonna have a bad time! It’s not easy to reach the level of focus (or distraction) required to get off. As lost in the music as I get, the other kind of peak, unfortunately, doesn’t come as easy. Literally.

Can music be used to enhance our sexual experiences? I don’t think there’s a universal answer for that. However, it’s an awesome addition to hooking up. I thought Flume’s music video for “You and Me” was kind of gross, until I found myself living it while it played in the background.

Epic? Yes, but do you ever actually remember what song you banged to after the fact? It’s a good thing. How can you be lost in sex if you’re singing along to “Fuck You All the Time (Shlomo Remix)” in your head?

February 6, 2014



Who has time for love? Lust is much less commitment GARRETT E. S. THERRIEN When we say love, what are we talking about? Porn is easy to find. Music videos are more and more explicit. The ‘hookup’ has become accepted and normal. As I write this, #16 on the Billboard charts is a song called “Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé. “Drunk in love / we be all night / Last thing I remember is our / Beautiful bodies grinding off in that club / Drunk in love,” it says, which doesn’t sound like the love I know. It sounds like lust—the consuming desire for something. But if

love doesn’t mean wanting the other person, as our culture so often implies, what does it mean? Pope Francis, who is rapidly becoming famed for acts of charity, says “in love, it is more important to give than to receive. The one who loves, gives . . . Gives things, gives life, gives oneself . . . to others.” Youth culture has become alienated from the idea of love as giving. We seek momentary pleasures in porn, in hooking up. We treat each other as things that give pleasure, not people with

hopes and fears. Our love is the onenight stand, the instant love of every Valentine’s Day, a day when the unsellable commodity—love—is advertised as being for sale. “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”—and can buy her affection. And don’t forget the roses—one dozen red—for $70. And what is love without chocolate and a cheesy heart-shaped card? What most people think of as love is retail love—it is the salesperson’s love that sells diamonds, music videos, cards, and flowers. Love doesn’t exist one day and die

another. It grows slowly, nurtured by small gestures of caring and small acts of kindness, and dies in the absence of these gestures. It is part of being human, and part of our society’s sickness that we have lost sight of it. The prescription is radical—to admit that love takes effort and time. Time spent together, without distractions—including Facebook, Twitter, and our cellphones—to talk about our hopes, fears, and problems with each other faceto-face. Time spent to show compassion to people and have that compassion

shown to us in turn. Time spent where all that matters is the other is the essence of love. But who has time to unplug and share that time? Time away from your devices means you’ve fallen out of the social media loop. You’re no longer cool, you’re no longer trendy. We no longer love, because we fear the loss of being trendy. We would rather be superficially connected to a thousand than deeply connected to a few. This Valentine’s Day, pause and consider: am I buying love to make up for a lack of time?

Come on baby, light my fire Why Tinder is a tease BETH PARKER



February 6, 2014

My friend tapped the screen of his iPhone and selected his new favourite app, Tinder. It was as if we had already headed out to the bar, and he was greedily eyeing his “prospects” for the night. Now, I am not necessarily against dating sites, knowing quite a few couples who have met in this way; however, Tinder is shameless in the way it presents the concept of dating—to the point that it simply treats dating, or hooking up, as a game. Tinder is a relatively new dating app, based solely on profile pictures and minimal personal information; if two people “like” each other on the app, then they can chat or send messages. But if one person doesn’t like the other person’s appearance, tough luck. As a tool used for hooking up, Tinder is great. It does exactly what it needs to do, without all the needless profile nonsense. But as a dating tool, it’s less effective and does not cultivate the same results as other dating sites, or as—imagine this—dating in real life, face-to-face. Tinder’s simplicity suits the current generation’s fast-paced dating needs, as a quick way to assess a selection of available romantic interests. However, these are not a realistic basis for a

relationship. It’s the difference between actively dating by getting to know someone (after initial attraction), and dating based on looks and physical attraction alone. Now, we are also overwhelmed with the perception of having more choices romantically. Flicking through dozens of faces a day makes it seem like choosing a partner is at our liberty. But just because you may like someone’s headshot, doesn’t mean you’re going to want to hook up with them, let alone date them. Tinder makes us lose focus on what we really want, or who we really like and why. The idea of using technology as a tool to meet someone is questionable, in terms of finding someone you’re compatible with—sexually or otherwise. It’s like speed dating without the banter or pheromones. Until you see them in person and, essentially, smell them, it’s hard to know if they fit the bill. The app is also about convenience, and, more specifically, laziness. The number of times I’ve heard people say that they chose not to create an OKCupid account because it required too much effort speaks for itself. Tinder is the fast food of dating sites. Even worse, Tinder fools many of us into thinking we only want to hook up, because the technology is there, and

it’s trendy, and it’s begging us to play along. My friend surely does not take the chat aspect of the app seriously—he uses it merely to type snide remarks to the best-looking ladies, without shame. He does not use it to strike up intelligent conversation or begin a relationship. Though, perhaps, hooking up is merely what he was looking for in the first place. By the end of the night, drunk, he was yelling, “Where’s my Tinder?” meaning “where is my phone?” Or rather, “why didn’t I find a babe to bring home?” More and more, modern society is moving toward surface-level interaction—from Facebook statuses to Twitter feeds that relay news in 140 characters or less, it seems that, based on the way we interact with technology, we prefer to obtain knowledge through snippets of information rather than heavy amounts of research. It’s only natural that we’d want to begin to form our relationships in this same way, and we already have—by quickly scanning profile photos on Tinder. Problems essentially arise when we build expectations around the app—real life interactions are different than Tinder makes them seem. They are unfiltered, unrehearsed, and awkward. They are not sexy snapshots.


“I think the fact that it is so

available is really challenging to our society. It’s challenging to our depth of sexuality. I think it has a major impact on men and women of all ages, especially young people, with how they think about sex and sexuality . . . Really, a lot of it is unrealistic expectations, unrealistic ideas about sex and sexuality.

JOSEF MÉTHOT Fourth year Medieval Studies

I have mixed emotions about it, because I study gender issues. Some erotica can be really positive for women and some of it can exacerbate existing gender equality [issues], issues of race, that kind of thing. On the whole, on a personal level, I enjoy it.

ALANNAH JAMES Fifth year Political Science

“I think it’s a way of expressing

freely, as well as having an outlet for people . . . You got to think about what’s going to happen if you take it away, and what are the effects of that. Even from a feminist perspective, limiting what is okay into these boxes and then anyone who doesn’t identify with that . . . What’s the alternative?

KEVIN MCLEOD Second year Humanities


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What is love?

If you don’t k now what love i s, th i s ma n a i m s to cha ng e that. On e hope l e ss roma ntic at a ti m e.

“I have three very quick questions—no right or wrong,” he starts off. “Okay,” I say, feeling a little blindsided. This is not how most of my interviews start out. The Harbour Towers Hotel Lobby, in downtown Victoria, B.C., was quiet, as expected on a Monday morning. The overstuffed chair felt familiar as I set up my voice recorder and opened my laptop to my questions list. I’d asked to meet with Mr. Greene so I could write a story about the incarceration of some Russian teens who read aloud his story the “The Blue Door” on the steps of the St. Petersburg Children’s Library in Russia. Time permitting, I was also hoping to ask Mr. Greene about his books, for a culture story. That all changed when Mr. Greene stepped out from the elevator. I saw a certain look in his eye. He grabbed a pen and paper from the front desk. “What are you taking at UVic?” he asked. “Creative writing,” I said, getting up from my chair. “Perfect. Then we are going to start off this interview a little differently.” He asked the receptionist if we could interview in the empty bar. It was closed, at that hour, and dead silent. Uprooted from my established interview location, I was already feeling a little thrown. His purple golf shirt, worn over a grey cotton long-sleeved tee, looked royal against his ebony skin. My unkempt beard was not helping sell me as a professional. I sit on the edge of my barstool. Aren’t I supposed to be asking the questions? The empty bar lets in the morning light, and I’m anxious. Robert Joseph Greene, Canada’s only renowned male romance writer, sits in front of me. He’s just told me that 90 per cent of people have no idea what love is, and that this morning he’s going to explain to me, exactly, just what love is. He looks at me with a confident smile and says, “This is the greatest gift I can give to you.“

Meet Mr. Greene Robert Joseph Greene has been writing gay romance fiction for a number of years and has seven published books. One of the books he is most recognized for is Gay Icon Classics of The World (2011). The book presents love stories from various cultures that read like the classic fables on which they are based. His story “The Soiled Loin Cloth” is a tale of two African boys that express feelings for one another and are run out of town. Greene wrote the story after meeting a girl from the Ivory Coast. “I told her I was gay, and she never knew gay people,” says Greene. He continues, “And we talked about it, and then she said, ‘I remember my Grandmother told me about two boys in her village that got ran out of the village for kissing,’ and that’s how I wrote ‘The Soiled Loin Cloth.’ I take a little bit of something and I extrapolate the story.” “The Blue Door” is a short romance Greene wrote about a Russian prince and his male archery instructor. Greene had learned from some Russian exchange students that in Russia, the colour blue is associated with being gay. When he asked them why, they said there wasn’t a reason. So Greene created a story to explain the phenomenon. “The Blue Door” has since been translated into Russian and, in January 2012, was read on the steps of a library in St. Petersburg, by the same group of students Greene met years before. This all happened in the

midst of Russia passing its gay propaganda laws, leading to death threats directed at Greene from Russian civilians, and also greater popularity for his stories. His collection of short stories in Crossovers: Straight Men— Gay Encounters takes on an even more forward-thinking approach. The stories feature straight men experimenting with their sexuality. The book promotes a healthy and progressive idea that men do not need to look at their sexuality as black and white—an idea that has not made it into the mainstream yet. The differences between Greene’s romance novels and a basic Harlequin novel are apparent. As Greene puts it, “Harlequin will play to their audience. There will always be this ‘knight in shining armor,’ and this ‘happily ever after.’” With real romance novels, Greene states that, “there is a realism, and an idealism that someone holds true to their true self, and I think that’s what’s more important.” This sense of realism comes through in Greene’s writing. His stories don’t always end with the hero riding off into the sunset, and they aren’t about a prince and a princess. They don’t allow themselves to be constricted by time, place, ethicity, or sexual orientation. It’s for these reasons I really feel that, more than anyone else I’ve ever met, this man knows what real love is all about.

The test His three questions were going to teach me what love really was. My computer had my unused question list on its screen. Greene had told me there were no right or wrong answers. I tried to clear my mind. “What is the opposite of love?” asks Greene. “Hate,” I say, with very little conviction. I hate to spoil it, but this seems to be the wrong answer. Greene doesn’t say anything, but instead proceeds with his questions. “What is the greatest test of love?” he continues. “Commitment.” This answer I am quite proud of. The third question can now be approached with much more confidence. “What is love?” Greene asks finally. “Love is,” I pause, and the confidence fades, “an undying passion and joy,” my train of thought wavers in my inexperience, “you get from spending time with someone.” Greene continues without acknowledging my corny, unconfident answer. I’ve always been corny. I’ve always been a romantic. I sometimes feel that in order for me to be romantic, corniness is a necessity. I had my first “girlfriend” in Grade 1. It was a drawnout affair, of course. We “dated” for two days. Having matured quite a bit since then, I’ve now been in a relationship for over a year. Loving her has always been easy, but I have never considered long-term relationships to be effortless. After being told that 90 per cent of people have no idea what love is, and stumbling through Greene’s questions, I begin to get worried—what if I really don’t have any idea what love is all about? “Let’s list some emotions,” says Greene. Happiness, excitement, jealousy, anger . . . I’m good at this task. “Hate?” asks Greene. “Yeah,” I say. “How about love?”


February 6, 2014

“Yeah,” I say, blindly stumbling into his trap. Greene grins. Many of us who have been in or are in relationships are aware that you can feel excitement while in love, and you can feel jealousy while in love. You can be happy, angry, hateful, and then back to happy in the span of an evening while in love. “If love is a culmination of all these emotions, then is love an emotion?” continues Greene. My face flushes into a foolish “a-ha moment” look, and Greene smiles back at me. This is why Greene is a romance writer, I guess. He wants to teach others about love. “The opposite of love, then, is indifference,” Greene goes on. Not hate as had I originally thought. Emotions are based on inputs. If you see a masked man produce a gun in front of you (a visual input), you’re scared. If you want to be happy, then you could, for example, ride a bike (physical input). People mistakenly think that they want love, but as Greene points out, love is not necessarily an emotion. People make the mistake of thinking that if they receive input like a great date, hot sex, or attention from a crush, then that input will satisfy their need for love. However, as Greene points out, love is not an emotion. If people think it works on input alone (sexual reference not intended), it will ultimately make the relationship unstable. “The number one question I ask people,” says Greene, “is why do you love that person? Number one answer? ‘I love them because they make me feel good’ . . . So then I ask them, ‘The minute they stop making you feel good, do you stop loving them?’”

Questioning love But what about those wondering, “Is this love?” To this, Greene answers, “That question will always be there, because we are humans and we have choice. We have choice to remain or choice to go, and the problem is that a collective few said ‘Okay, choice is not fair. So we have to put laws around choice, we have to make it marriage, and we have to make it to— protect.’ Well, what are you protecting? You know? Protecting means that you have people on one side that want something out of this, it’s not the people on this side that give something out of it. If I’m in a relationship with someone and they want to leave, I’m like, ‘I will not hold you back.’ ‘Cause who wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? You can’t force someone to love you.” “What happens is, in your situation, you’re like, ‘Is this love?’” Greene continues. “There’s a human insecurity back here,” he says, motioning to back of his brain, “that measures, and you have to condition yourself not to measure, you know? ‘She didn’t make me breakfast this morning,’ or, ‘She didn’t give me a kiss goodbye,’ or something. There is no measurement here. There’s just flow, and you just go with the flow, wherever it is. It might be she’s sick in bed with the flu, and you’re taking care of her for a weekend, even though you had concert tickets to whatever, but you know this is more important, you know? It’s keeping that flow in energy. “ “You could go through the whole list,” said Green, “’I love her cause she has big tits,’ ‘I love him cause he has a big dick,’ ‘I love him because he gave me children, this house.’ These are ‘I want’ statements, and what we know about that is that



that’s going to make love unstable.” It’s hard not to want love when you’re a romantic at heart. It’s equally hard to force love when you aren’t. With half of marriages ending in divorce, and the fact that everybody and their grandmother knows that’s the case, it surprises me that everyone assumes they need to fit into traditional roles of husband and wife. I think sexuality should be questioned and no one should be judged on not knowing what he or she wants. The sooner we all understand love, and ourselves, the better. So then, what exactly is love?


LOVE IS… “The last question is what actually is love?” Greene carries on. “It’s not a very very difficult question.” He stops and grabs a pen and a blank sheet in front of him and writes, Love is what you are willing to do for someone else. “That’s all it is,” he says, “’cause that’s all you can control.” What you are willing to do for someone else. It was the climax of the interview; I took a moment to digest it. Greene dropped the pen on the table and sat back in his barstool observing my reaction. I thought back to my own relationship. I would do anything for her. I sat on that bar stool in that empty bar by the harbour, and I knew that for a fact. With as much restraint as I can muster, I embarrassingly gush to Canada’s only renowned male romance writer about my own relationship. I tell him of my previous doubts about what love was, and I also tell him of the things I’ve done for her and how much I enjoyed doing them. I tell him with confidence that I now know it is love. “The expressive state of love is a very nice one,” says Greene, “because it allows you to be you.” “My first love really taught me a lot about love,” confessed Greene. “I was young. Mr. Partier and stuff like that. And the first thing you realize when you’re in love is, ‘I’m so lonely!’” Greene went on to explain how everything he was doing before, like the partying, seemed so hollow after he fell in love. “He used to write me poetry and leave it on my voice mail for me before I got home from work, just really cute little romantic things like that. It really grows in you; ‘cause I was working and he lived in Long Beach, California, which was an hour and a half away, so we could only see each other on weekends. I would make this little storyline called ‘George’ which was [about] a monkey. I remember once we had this huge fight on Sunday night. We were swearing at each other, then I was driving home all mad, and I just remember on Monday I was still doing the storyboard for George. This is where you realize you’re in love.” I’m sure there are some who will read this and doubt this man’s theories on love. And I hope there are some that will feel as inspired as I did. I have been interviewing people for the better part of a year. I thought I had an understanding of how people worked, but true knowledge is knowing that you know nothing, right? I think Socrates said that. Regardless, I didn’t walk into the interview expecting a love lesson. What I think it really boils down to is that everyone needs to understand themselves better and know their personal preferences in terms of relationships, before assuming they should just fit into the ideas that society has concerning love. But, as Robert Joseph Greene says, “What do I know? I’m just a lowly romance writer.”

We asked Martlet staff what they associate with love






Sexy Culture

Introvert dating activity: Want to hang out and read the Martlet?

Popped culture


How to seduce an introvert MIA STEINBERG When I took the Myers-Briggs test in 2011, things suddenly began to make a lot of sense. It revealed that I rated fairly strongly on the side of introversion, which was a bit of a shock. I, like so many, incorrectly assumed that introversion was synonymous with shyness; since I’m writing an article for the Martlet’s sex issue a second year in a row, that’s pretty clearly not the case. Introversion and extroversion measure the amount of energy one loses or gains, respectively, from socializing with other people. Extroverts are the social butterflies; they’re the ones who thrive in customer service or sales jobs where they get to interact with people. Introverts, on the other hand, relish their solitude; they may have many acquaintances, but very few close friends, and it’s extraordinarily rare that they’ll find someone that they want to keep around them for extended periods of time. Needless to say, when you’re a strong introvert, dating can be a bit of a minefield; we truly do operate by a different set of rules, and they may

seem antithetical to the entire process of dating. After many years of painful, awkward trial and error, I’ve gotten a lot better at vocalizing what I need from a potential paramour, and I’d like to share those tips now. Introverts want love too; they just may want it from an initial distance.

THE INITIAL APPROACH An introvert can be tougher to spot in the wild than you may think; people are often shocked to find out that I’m one. But one place you may end up finding introverts in abundance is on the Internet. Online dating is a godsend for introverts; exchanging messages takes the pressure off of socializing and getting to know someone. You can control the flow of the conversation, leaving and returning to it as often as you need to, and you don’t have to put on your public mask or expel very much of your precious social energy reserves. If you do meet an introvert in person, don’t be put off if you speak for a few hours and then they leave the party without you. Meeting strangers is exhausting; we’d prefer to take your number, recharge

our batteries for a few days, and then call for a coffee date. As a general rule, introverts want to get to know who you are on the inside before they see what’s inside your pants.

THE EARLY DATING PHASE Introverts inevitably put up a barrier between the most intimate parts of themselves and the world around them; it’s not something that is damaging them or needs to be broken down, it’s simply the way they protect themselves from complete mental exhaustion. Introverts have a handful of very close friends with whom they’re far more comfortable, but those sorts of relationships take months or years to establish. Dating involves going from being relative strangers to being pretty intimate—physically, emotionally, or both—in what is generally a relatively short period of time. For introverts, this cognitive dissonance can be extremely destructive. So what’s a guy or girl to do if their crush is socially guarded? Take time— lots of it. Let a month or more pass in which you just hang out together, sit on opposite sides of the couch when

February 20–22 at the University of Victoria

watching a movie, and don’t expect a kiss at the end. Dating an introvert is like making friends with a cat; you need to let them come to you, on their own terms. But if you’re patient, they’re well worth the wait.

THE RELATIONSHIP So you’ve managed to land the introvert of your dreams. How do you make sure they stay happy? I got the shock of my life last year when my long-distance boyfriend dumped me, unable to deal with only visiting every few weeks. I never in my life expected that I’d be better at long distance than my partner, but it turns out I relished the freedom that came with having my own space. My boyfriend was one of the few people I actively wanted around more often than not, but nonetheless, I loved being my own person. Dating an introvert means giving them lots of space; their native state is one of solitude, and they’ll still need time to themselves even if they love you dearly. If you live in the same city, expect to spend a few nights alone each week. Develop separate interests so that

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your introvert can have their own sense of self and cultivate that solitary identity. If your introvert is reading a book while you’re in the room, they’re not giving you the cold shoulder; they’re showing that you’re important enough that they can have their cake and be alone with it too—the best of both worlds. Needless to say, moving into a one-bedroom apartment together is ill-advised; go for two, and make the second room into a study or office where one of you can be alone sometimes. The introvert’s ultimate sign of love is that they’ll actually prefer having you around. If this sounds difficult, don’t despair; introverts are awesome. We process more information, on average, than extroverts do; we are less dependent on external stimuli to feel good, which means we don’t need to go to the latest clubs or the best parties to feel on top of the world. While we may not talk a lot, we listen very well, and when we have something to say, we’ve usually chosen our words pretty carefully. Don’t forget: nothing says “I love you” to an introvert like “want to hang out and read books all day?”

Full pass Early Bird (Until February 19): $30 students / $40 regular February 20–22: $40 students / $50 regular folk Includes a one-year subscription to The Malahat Review Information: Queries: Sponsored by: Coastal Spectator • CFUV • Focus Lansdowne Lectures • Planet Earth Poetry

Gay dating in Victoria Online dating platforms present options as well as difficulties for all orientations KLARA WOLDENGA (GRAPHIC)

MICHEL GHANEM In a dating world that primarily caters to cisgender, heterosexual individuals, queer people of all denominations are often forced to put in extra effort to find a candidate worthy of a relationship. This often means that dating websites such as Plenty of Fish and OkCupid or apps like Grindr and Scruff are the most common ways of finding a partner. In this digital age, online dating— whether on an app or a website—has been mostly deemed socially acceptable. For a gay, bisexual, transgender, or curious person, it offers an accessible conduit for trying to find your place in the community. The city of Victoria does not offer a central gay district that larger cities such as Vancouver provide which can help to bring gay and queer people of the city together. Besides smaller establishments such as Paparazzi nightclub, the UVic Pride Collective, and the Victoria Pride Society, the city’s main way of bringing together gay and

queer people is through online dating. Dylan Adams, a third-year Geography student at UVic, has been using online dating since he was 17, and recently met his boyfriend on Grindr. “I think I used Grindr so much because it was so accessible. It’s like, if you can check your email then you can check Grindr,” Adams said. Grindr was launched in 2009 and runs on most Android and iOS devices. The app allows the user to view a grid of tiles, customized by geographical proximity. Grindr gives the user one chance to catch another user’s eye—a picture that serves as your tile’s background, and a few statistics such as your height, weight, and ethnicity. The app quickly became an outlet for no-strings-attached, one-off hookups. “There’s such a forward focus on hooking up, that it’s not taken seriously if you want anything else,” he said. “Like, let’s not fuck on the first date, let’s get a coffee and build something out of it.” Others turn to websites such as

Plenty of Fish or OkCupid, which give users the option to filter out the members looking for a relationship or casual dates, and match users by personality. However, the options are more limited than the competing Grindr app. In the heterosexual world, the probability of meeting someone worth dating is much more simple. Dating websites and apps such as Tinder may potentially hold thousands of users, and every club and bar presents an opportunity to meet someone new. Others will meet at the grocery store, in class, at parties, on the bus, or even by ordering the same drink at Starbucks. “You definitely get disillusioned with the sense that ‘oh, that was probably very easy for you,’” Adams said. “Love is different in every way, but you can essentially go and hook up with someone at any club if you’re [heterosexual], moderately attractive, and decent.” In their everyday life, straight couples often surround gay and queer people, and the sense of disillusionment can become overwhelming for an individual that is still establishing

their own sexuality. Once someone who is queer matures and grows to understand how media and the world portray heterosexuality, it becomes more tolerable, but remains a discouraging obstacle for someone still looking for a significant other. Tinder, an app very similar to Grindr, was created in 2012 and primarily targets heterosexuals. Unlike Grindr, users register by using their Facebook photos and interests. MacLean’s recently published an article on Tinder culture, saying “you’re matched with thousands of singles in your area,” which is simply impossible for queer daters in Victoria. “For preaching that it’s so open, it’s not really in a lot of ways. I feel that meeting someone is not as common as everyone would consider,” Adams said. The heterosexual community, on a broad scale, has the potential to date roughly half of the planet, broken down by further criteria from there. The queer community has to narrow down their focus to a portion of the


population, which is then separated into different categories of sexual preferences and of course physical and personal qualities. Identifying who is the “bottom” or “top” in a gay sexual relationship quickly establishes the connection. Although many gay men are open to both, some stand by their preference and tailor their relationships based on that sexual position. In turn, the choices for gay men may become more limited. “I’ve been to parties where someone will be like, ‘Hey, have you seen this one other gay person who’s here?’ and I’ll be like, ‘Yes, he’s dancing to Applause, how do I not notice that?’” “There’s this assumption that because you’re gay, you have such limited options that people need to help you,” he said. Disillusionment with the gay dating scene in Victoria aside, when it comes to meeting that special person, it can be a gratifying and wonderful experience. Until then, the thirst is real. February 6, 2014


Music for the mood—and more GABE LUNN Preferred genres of music are not unlike fetishes. Everybody has their own small collection of likes and dislikes, which can make it hard to find someone who’s into all the same styles, genres, and, well, musical kinks you appreciate. But when things manage to click into place with the other half, fireworks start flying. So when sparks turn to flame and flame turns to a sweaty inferno, it should only be appropriate you’ve got some musical accompaniment ready. The Martlet’s got you covered. While we can’t guarantee these 11 tracks will satisfy all genre cravings, we wish you and your significant other the intimacy and mutual hypnosis needed.

1. ‘LET’S GET IT ON’ – MARVIN GAYE C’mon, did you expect anything less? Marvin Gaye is, without question, one of the greatest sexual powerhouses of the past several decades. Even if it feels cheesy to put on a classic like this, loosen up and remember, as Gaye croons on the track, “we’re all sensitive people with so much to give.”

2. ‘SLOW JAMZ FEAT. TWISTA & JAMIE FOXX’ – KANYE WEST You know a hip-hop track is sexy when it uses the metaphor that a rapper’s flow is not unlike his manhood. This track is also the most meta of the list. Foxx sings of how his lady-friend wants him to put on R&B artists like Luther Vandross and Minnie Ripperton, among others. It could even be said the track tributes R&B culture, considering its sample of Vandross’s “A House Is Not A Home.” All things considered, it’s groovy as hell.

3. ‘HYPNOTIZE U’ – N.E.R.D As soon as this track’s bass-heavy beat hits, clothes start rolling off skin like hot wax. If you’re looking for a luscious track with a no-bullshit approach toward skin-to-skin relationships, “Hypnotize U” is ideal.

4. ‘LATCH FEAT. SAM SMITH (DJ PREMIER REMIX)’ – DISCLOSURE The U.K.-house brothers of Disclosure have produced what might just be an electronic track to recall for years to come. Sam Smith cries sounds vulnerable enough to bring any lover in reach, but also sure enough to show he’s not holding himself back vocally. DJ Premier’s resampling of the track does well to reinvent its mood without subtracting from Smith’s exceptional vocal strength.

5. ‘OUTLINES’ – ALUNAGEORGE “Outlines” feels gentle as gentle can come. With its wistful synths, it feels as though you’re lying at the bottom of a body of water, watching the surface weave ribbons of light. And while




its lyricism doesn’t feel exceptional on Aluna Francis’s part, George Reid’s production is what ultimately sells the track.

6. ‘PONY (WAYVEE REMIX)’ – GINUWINE By today’s standards, ’90s hip-hop and R&B don’t hold the nostalgia it does because of its production. Rather, it’s well remembered for being charmingly explicit. Just look at groups like Blackstreet or Souls of Mischeif. With Wavyee’s remix of “Pony,” we get a stripped down and dreamy rendition of the already enticing song.

7. ‘THE EDGE’ – CANT Grizzly Bear bassist Chris Taylor came out as his solo project CANT with the 2011 album Dreams Come True, balancing between the fields of electronica and art rock. Consider a track like “The Edge” to understand Taylor’s capabilities as a bassist/vocalist and producer. In the end, the track sounds as if Daft Punk played lounge funk in a rundown nightclub.


Who says white English boys can’t produce good soul music? James Blake manages to do just that while trademarking his own brand of atmospheric electronica. Blake’s choruses swell with synths and his vocals wind up and down in melancholy like a spiral staircase. “Ignore everybody else, we’re alone now,” Blake reassures, like whispering ear against the wall.

9. ‘ENEMY’ – THE WEEKND “I’d rather be your enemy than any friend you think I would be,” sings Ontario-born Abel Tesfaye, a.k.a. The Weeknd, on this bass-heavy, at times haunting track. Tesfaye even references The Smiths’ “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” in the chorus, to further emphasize a relationship that, at least from the speaker’s side, is strictly physical.

10. ‘FORREST GUMP’ – FRANK OCEAN From a careerist standpoint, it made sense for Frank Ocean to come out six days before the release of his acclaimed debut Channel Orange. While much of the album’s sexual themes are geared toward women, Ocean still put in tracks

suggesting intimacy toward men. “Forrest Gump” is such a track. Ideal for that after-sex spoon, the track’s light-hearted guitars and loosely thumping beat give an ease that few others on Ocean’s debut managed.

11. ‘OPEN’ – RHYE If you had to pick the sexiest breakout of 2013, Rhye would easily stand among the nominations. Delicately balanced with a variety of instruments including synths, horns, strings, and 808 drums on the backbeat, “Open” introduced Rhye’s release Woman beautifully. What’s shocked most new fans of the band is that its lead vocalist, who’s voice comes off lustrous and effeminate, is actually male singer Mike Milosh. Classically trained, Milosh’s breathy vocals shine through, creating a vulnerability that a rare few other male singers can. So there you have it, 11 songs for those special moments when you find another half and the curtains get drawn. Make sure you’re being safe, that you get in a few good laughs before getting down, and that, if nothing else, they’re cool with Marvin Gaye.



February 6, 2014



Live together or die trying DEAR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, When I was about to move in with you almost a year ago, my sister warned me that things would change. I thought, she must be wrong, I have basically been staying over with him over four nights a week for the past five months, how could anything change? Oh, how wrong I was. Let’s start with sleeping, or lack thereof. If it isn’t your dead, limp body that is putting your full weight on me, or your snoring that always seems to be right in my ear, it is your full-erect cock that pokes at me as you twitch at night. I don’t know what you dream about at night, but it must be good because your penis never stops hitting me, even if we just had sex. Before, I remember complaining that I couldn’t fall asleep without you, and now, after night-in and night-out of this routine, I wish that once in a while we had a second bed so I could finely get some rest. Speaking of sex, frankly, we have turned into an old married couple. Once, we could stay up until 2 a.m. having loud, rambunctious sex. Now if we haven’t gone to bed by 10 p.m.,

then there isn’t going to be any sex tonight. Before, candles were added to get the mood, and now, we worry about setting the house on fire, therefore extinguishing our mutual horniness. You know what also smothers my mood? Bread clips. Bread clips are made to be put on the bread so it doesn’t get moldy. Just like the closet door is supposed to be shut when you are not looking for clothes, and the light is meant to be turned off when you leave the room. All these simple things can be done so easily, but it often seems as though my complaining makes them harder to do. Do you have some kind of medical condition that I don’t know about that makes the bread clip invisible? My father might have the same condition, since, even after 35 years of my mother nagging him, I never have seen him put a clip on bread; perhaps you should form a support group. While once I thought your jokes were cute and adorable, I realize now that they are the same jokes that a 60-year-old would tell. It does not help that you only have about

four jokes and most of those include Yu-Gi-Oh references. Jokes aren’t funny when you have to explain them. I admit I was charmed, on our first date, when you told me, “What does the baby computer say to his father?” but now when I hear “Data,” I realize that one can only acknowledge that joke so many times. Yes, living together has changed a lot about our relationship, but in spite of it all, I still love living with you. You’re there for me when I need you, through every stress in my life, you clean up around the house when I don’t even ask, and even randomly bring home flowers on occasion. So I guess I’m sticking with you forever, or until I finally kill you. Love, Regan

TO MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, Not too long ago now, you finally agreed to move in with me. It’s true, I was eager and wanted to make this shift even before we talked about it. I wanted more than anything the opportunity to sleep by your side every night, as we had been practically doing already. Looking back, it’s funny how

delusional our younger selves were. After officially moving in together, not only did I quickly learn the nittygritty details of living with a significant other, but also things about you that I could not have previously imagined. Firstly, you bite. Not in some vicious or weird kinky way, but in a way that you like to bite things that are usually me. Some people would find this strange, but I like to see it as adorably hurtful, and sometimes more hurtful than adorable. Truthfully though, I know it’s weird because you yourself are weird. You collect taxidermy, you love to point out racism, you like teeth but not if you think about it too much, and even though you are a grown woman, your favourite birthday activity is laser tag. So, you’re weird, but that’s okay because I’m pretty weird myself. And even though we have been living together for less than a year, we are liable to kill each other any day now. In order to prevent this inevitable double murder, I think it necessary for us to lay the cards on the table, so to speak. First off, just because I am neat, crafty, and can cook, does not

mean I’m Martha Stewart. Secondly, your obsession with the bread clip has to stop; twisting the bag is as effective, if not more effective than the clip itself. Despite what you think, that little piece of plastic is not the answer to life, longevity, and immortality itself. Lastly, though I don’t mind carrying you places, it does strike me as strange that your legs become effectively lame at the first sign of fatigue, yet, once we have reached our destination at the expense of my back, you still have energy enough to tickle the shit out of me. As a side note, I don’t think I will ever understand your fascination with my nipples, but I suppose that is another issue entirely. Despite all these things, I desperately love you and would not have you change for the world. I hope to live this way with you for a long, long time to come—providing I don’t kill you first. Love, Adrian


Fuel for Sex

Let’s splurge JENN TAKAOKA Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day a year that calendars designate to feeling the love, spreading the love, all the love! Although I’m a fan of year-round love, I like to take this opportunity to go all out. And the best way to people’s hearts is through food, right? As I was frustrated at my lack of inspiration on what special dish to make for this occasion, a friend suggested what now seems like the most appropriate Valentine’s food ever: Sex in a Pan. You heard me. There will be layers of whipped cream, pudding, and creamy goodness all around. This is also probably the most innocent version of sex for any person to share with another, or multiple other people. Let me just say, there is no real way to try and make this healthy. It’s meant to be a splurge. I even tried to make my own pudding and whipped cream for it, but I have to say, it’s just too good to mess with. And it’s easy to make variations depending on your time frame. No time to make a graham crust or no beaters to make pudding with? Easy fix! Just grab a premade graham pie crust and some snack-pack pudding from your local grocery store. You can spend a whole day making it, or you can whip it up in 10 minutes. Whether you’re making sex for your fancy date, Galentine’s girl’s night, or bromantic bonding, it’s guaranteed to be a delicious experience. (Insert all the “that’s what she said” jokes here.)


Sex in a Pan

(Inspired by various recipes on Google) INGREDIENTS 1½ cups of graham cracker crumbs* 1 cup chopped nuts (best with pecans, walnuts or hazelnuts)* ½ cup butter, melted* 1 8-ounce package of cream cheese 1 cup icing sugar 2 packets of Dream Whip (or 3-4 cups of frozen Cool Whip, thawed) 1 package each of instant chocolate and vanilla pudding (or 1 Snack Pack of each flavour) 4 cups of milk** Optional sprinkles or grated chocolate for garnish *can be substituted with premade graham cracker pie crust **unnecessary if using Cool Whip and Snack Pack pudding

Preheat your oven to 350 F. Layer 1: In a bowl, combine graham crumbs, chopped nuts, and melted butter. Press the mixture into a greased nine-by-13-inch baking dish, or evenly between multiple smaller baking dishes (french onion soup bowls are great for individual portions). Bake for 15–20 minutes. Let cool completely. If using premade crust, simply remove from packaging. Layer 2: Beat together cream cheese and icing sugar, and spread over top of graham cracker crust. Layer 3: Combine both packs of Dream Whip with two cups of milk and beat until thickened (the mixture should form peaks). Or let Cool Whip thaw. Spread half of the whip overtop of the cream cheese layer. Set aside the leftover Cool Whip. Layers 4 and 5: Make the chocolate and vanilla pudding according to the package directions (using the rest of the milk), or peel the tops off the Snack Packs. Spread one layer of each overtop of the whipped layer (in no particular order). Layer 6: Spread the remaining Cool Whip on top. Refrigerate for at least two hours before serving. Best if left overnight. Garnish with whatever sprinkles and chocolate your heart desires and indulge. February 6, 2014


The best places to go on a date in Victoria KATI WALTERS As Valentine’s Day grows ever nearer— whether you’re celebrating the season with a first date, your significant other, or even a friend—it’s always fun to try something different and exciting with that special someone. I’ve compiled a list of some of Victoria’s best eateries, locations, and attractions to get your plans started.

EATERIES Il Terrazzo — Conveniently located at the corner of Waddington Alley, directly adjacent to lower Johnson Street, Il Terrazzo offers fine Italian candlelight dining, by brick fireplace, in an old-style garden setting and features an internationally recognized wine

selection and a diverse Northern Italian menu, filled with pizza, meat, pasta, and seafood. One popular dinner menu suggestion: the Linguine Marco Polo. Grilled chicken breast, toasted cashews, mango, fresh basil, and pimentos in a lemon cream sauce. Yes, please! The Mint — Centrally located at 1414 Douglas Street, The Mint offers an eclectic mix of contemporary dishes and Himalayan cuisine. The Mint has a relaxed atmosphere and a variety of dishes for sharing. After dark, the restaurant’s lights dim and DJs appear, playing lively music behind turntables. Sharing suggestions: The Mint Platter. Mixed olives, aged cheddar, chorizo, white bean dip, roasted garlic,

grapes, crackers, and bread.

LOCATIONS Dallas Road, Ogden Point & Beacon Hill — One of the most romantic locations in Victoria is the breakwater at Ogden Point on Dallas Road. Take a casual stroll out to the lighthouse, while walking out over the Pacific Ocean. On a sunny day, you may even be lucky enough to glimpse some sea life in the water! Afterward, walk to the Beacon Drive-In to enjoy their widely known soft-serve ice cream. If you have the time, continue walking into Beacon Hill Park. Here you can stroll through the beautiful gardens, admiring the flora and fauna, as well as be accompanied by some beautiful peacocks.

Mount Douglas (P’KOLS) Park & Beach — Just 10 minutes from the University of Victoria, Mount Douglas (P’KOLS) Park is the perfect place to hike for an adventurous first date outdoors. Take the route 39 bus from UVic to the Shelbourne Street and Ash Road intersection. From here, you can access a trail leading south to the beach and the top of the mountain, as well. Explore the hiking trails that lead you 213 metres up the mountain to a 360-degree lookout point at the top! With views of Saanich, city lights, and Washington State mountains, this is a guaranteed fun and rewarding date.


Every Thursday, the Oak Bay Recreation Centre offers a midnight public skate, for only $3 admission and $2 skate rentals! Whether you can skate well or not, you’re sure to have fun on the rink. Midnight skate is open from 12-1:30 a.m. 20th Annual Victoria Film Festival — Take part in the 10-day Film Festival running from Feb. 7–16, 2014, with screenings of over 22 independent films! This may make for a fantastic, unique first date that will allow you both to enjoy a new film. For more information on film screening dates and ticket prices, visit

Oak Bay Recreation Centre: Ice Skating — This date is perfect for night owls.

Pacific Coast Pretty

Be a violet vixen this Valentine’s Day JILL KUZYK Don’t be caught with run-of-the-mill red lipstick if Cupid’s arrows fly your way this Valentine’s Day. While everyone else is turning to traditional hues like baby pink, cherry red, and moody Bordeaux, think outside that heart-shaped box and take shades of violet and orchid for a spin. You’ll look bright-eyed, fresh-faced, and ready for spring, and be ridiculously ontrend to boot. Radiant Orchid was named Pantone’s Colour of the Year for 2014, which is fantastic news because it flatters nearly every skin tone. The Pantone Colour Institute is a world-famous authority on colour and colour systems, and its Colour of the Year frequently dictates which shades the fashion and cosmetics industries will focus on for the upcoming year. Orchid is a delicate mix of fuchsia, purple, and pink, and is much more universally wearable than its pastel cousin, lilac. Orchid and violet have rosy undertones that not only flatter a wide array of complexions and brighten your visage, but also allow you to multi-task with your cosmetics. They fit into a rare category of colours that can be worn readily on the eyes, cheeks, and lips. Of course,

you might not want to use the exact same shade in all three places, lest you end up looking like an overenthusiastic botany student. To catch the eye of that special someone on Feb. 14, consider orchid eyeshadow and deep plum liner, a delicate pink cheek and a satiny violet lip look. Keep reading for a quick how-to that will leave your beau blushing.



3. 4.



Prep the entire face with moisturizer and a silicone-based primer to help your bloom-based look stay fresh all day. Apply your foundation and concealer, and fill in your brows with shades that match your skin tone and hair colour. Swipe a layer of eyeshadow primer onto your lids. Take a light purple eyeshadow (the infamous orchid) and apply it on the inner half of your eyelids with a medium eyeshadow brush. Using the same brush, apply a shimmery opal eyeshadow to the inner third of the lid and your browbone. Blend the opal into the orchid. Take a darker purple eyeshadow with the same undertone as your first shade and apply it to the outer

half of your eyelid with a small eyeshadow brush, sweeping it just past the outer corner of the eye and onto the lower lash line. 7. Blend the violet into the orchid well for a blossoming, seamless colour gradient! 8. Line your upper and lower waterlines (the little line of skin between your eyelashes and your actual eyeball) with dark plum eyeliner. Don’t be afraid to smudge it a little for an extra sultry gaze. 9. Add two to three coats of mascara to your lashes. 10. Brighten your cheeks with a matteor satin-finish blush in soft pink. Try to stay away from sparkles or lots of shimmer here, since your eyes and lips are the standout features in this particular look. 11. Set your face with translucent powder to keep your colours looking fresh, and to stop migration and smudging. Gently blend some of that opalescent eyeshadow on the tops of your cheekbones to really make them glow. 12. Line your lips with a clear lipliner, and then swipe a juicy violet shade of gloss or lipstick onto your pout, and you’re ready to go!

The Martlet is an independent weekly student newspaper at the University of Victoria in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. It is a non-profit society governed by a board of directors and operates according to a statement of purpose. Every full-time UVic student pays a fee to the Martlet each semester through a levy collected by the UVSS. Undergrads pay $3.75 per full-time semester or $1.88 per part-time semester. This fee is refundable by cheque to students during a refund period each semester. Students who wish to receive a refund must sign a declaration, cannot participate in Society events or use copies of society publications. The Winter 2014 Refund Period will be held Friday, February 14, 2014 – Friday, February 21, 2014 Refund forms can be picked up in the Martlet office, Student Union Building B011, between 9:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Monday to Friday.


February 6, 2014



Saturday, Feb. 8

“RED” Get yourself in the loving mood with “RED,” an event at the Coast Collective Art Centre at 3221 Heatherbell Road. The afternoon will showcase red-themed paintings, photography, glass and fabric art, and sculpture, as well as plenty of chocolate. Be one of the first 40 people through the door and receive a free chocolate treat! 12–5 p.m. Admission is free.


Thursday, Feb. 20 - 22



This great three-day writing festival features lectures and readings from acclaimed authors and poets. Readings will take place at the University of Victoria, in the David Turpin Building and the Human and Social Development Building. More details at





AFRICAN SPIRIT NIGHT & ST. VALENTINE’S CELEBRATION A lively community celebration of African and Caribbean cultures through dance, food, and music, this event will take place at the Victoria Events Centre, located at 1415 Broad Street. Advance tickets are $7, or it’s $12 at the door. Doors open at 8 p.m.


Friday, Feb. 14

THINK SPRING… If you’re an avid gardener or have a burgeoning green thumb, come explore a variety of local, organic heritage seeds, brought from small nurseries and businesses. This venue features a community seed exchange, speakers, activities for kids, garden book swaps and a school scarecrow contest. 10 a.m. – 4 p.m., at the Victoria Conference Centre, 720 Douglas Street. Entry is $7 at the door (cash only).



Monday, Feb. 10

TRASH TALK Come out for a coffee and a chat with UVic Professor Dr. Peter Ross for “Café Scientifique—Ocean Pollution in Canada’s Oceans: A Whale of a Tale.” He’ll discuss the pollution of Canada’s oceans from 6:30–8:30 p.m. at Hermann’s Jazz Club. Free and open to the public.


Saturday, Feb. 8

PUT A RING ON IT If you’ve already found your life-long valentine, the Bay Centre is hosting its annual Modern Bride Show in support of the Just for Love Animals Society. The event will have over 50 vendors and live performances throughout the day, from 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., at the Bay Centre, 1150 Douglas Street. Admission is free.


Thursday, Feb. 6

CUPID’S CONFESSIONS Get struck by Cupid’s arrow at Upstairs Cabaret, located at 1127 Wharf Street. This Valentine’s themed night will feature DJ’s Sam Jones, Sam Hagen (who you may remember as a UVSS director of events candidate for 2013/14), and Jansom. Try to match a semi-formal dress code of white, red, or black—and look your finest! Doors open at 10 p.m., 19+. Friday, Feb. 7

“KIKEYAMBAY” This event is a Victoria-based musical project honouring the ancestral cultural traditions of the Malinké and Susu people of Guinea. It features traditional dance, and percussion melded with modern electronic Afro fusion. The event is located at Felicita’s in the Student Union Building on UVic campus. Doors at 8:30 p.m., $5 cover, 19+. Friday, Feb. 14

THE VICTORIA DJANGO FESTIVAL The Django will offer a two-day festival of swing music and gypsy jazz inspired by the dance halls, opera houses and underground venues of the 1920s and ‘30s. Experience food vendors, free swing dancing workshops presented by the Swing Dance Association of Victoria, and live music from Brishen, The Brett Martens String Band, plus others. Located at White Eagle Hall in St. Andrews Church, 924 Douglas Street, doors open at 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Ticket prices vary. Tickets available at Ditch Records, Lyle’s Place, and Larsen Music. 19+.


February 6, 2014


Sexy Biz | Tech

01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 = I love you


The cyberbirds and the cyberbees Krystelle Shaughnessy on the subtleties of cybersex JANINE CROCKETT Cybersex may be a taboo subject for some, but in academic circles, no issue is off the table. Post-Doctoral Fellow Krystelle Shaughnessy, of the Department of Psychology and the Centre for Mental Health Research at the University of Waterloo, is seeking to educate people on cybersex through her research. For Shaughnessy’s purposes, cybersex is defined as “a real time communication with another person that occurs through a device connected with the Internet (e.g., computer, cellphone, smart phone) in which one or both of you describe or share in other ways sexual activities, sexual behaviours, sexual fantasies, or sexual desires that may lead to feelings of sexual pleasure or physical intimacy. You and your partner may or may not be stimulating yourself/ himself/herself sexually during this conversation.” Shaughnessy and others conceived this empirically derived definition during a study in 2011. “When I first started to study cybersex, there were two stereotypes or preconceived notions about cybersex

that I regularly encountered in both my academic and public discussions about this topic,” says Shaughnessy, who answered questions by email. “The first was that people who engaged in cybersex were abnormal or antisocial, even criminal in some way.” Negative assumptions about cybersex in this case included the idea that it was mostly used to exploit children or conduct other illegal activities online. The second stereotype Shaughnessy found was an assumption that cybersex was frequently used as a form of infidelity—that participants in cybersex would have a romantic partner who was not aware nor involved in their Internet activities. Shaughnessy doesn’t deny that the negative aspects, such as infidelity and other illicit activity, do occur. “The point is that many people have ideas about what cybersex is. These ideas can be negative and likely do not capture the full scope of people’s experiences with cybersex.” Shaughnessy feels that such stereotypes can hinder a person’s willingness to talk about their experiences, or even to call their experiences “cybersex.”


February 6, 2014

Shaughnessy’s most recent study focused on the relationship context of cybersex. Participants in the study were asked if they had engaged in cybersex activities with a stranger, someone who was not their partner, or a primary romantic partner. Shaughnessy was not surprised by the results of this study. “As I expected, we found that most heterosexual men and women who reported at least one cybersex experience in their lifetime reported having engaged in cybersex with their primary romantic partner. In fact, over 80 per cent of participants had engaged in cybersex with a primary romantic partner, and 37 had only ever had cybersex in this context.” However, the study showed that participants had a low frequency of engaging in cybersex or the desire to. “So what this research tells us first and foremost is that a lot of people have cybersex with a primary romantic partner. It also tells us that cybersex with a stranger likely is the least common, least frequent, and least desired form of cybersex. Finally, the results of this study tell us that there is a good chance that many people engage in cybersex as a supplement to their

sexual lives offline, in recreational ways (as opposed to problematic, compulsive, or addictive ways), but do so fairly infrequently.” Despite Shaughnessy’s recent study suggesting that cybersex was an infrequent activity for those that did participate in it, it also suggests there are numerous forms that cybersex can take. “Additionally, our research consistently points to the lack of a specific forum, mode, or device for cybersex to occur. That is, cybersex can be via Skype, instant messenger programs, video chats, chat rooms, virtual worlds, etc., etc., and it can occur with all kinds of different partners. The key aspect is that it involves two people engaged in some kind of sexual interaction that is in real-time or synchronous.” It remains to be seen whether attitudes towards cybersex will continue to change. Shaughnessy says that there are not enough studies on the subject to say for sure whether it will become better understood or more socially acceptable. However, her investigations have found generally neutral attitudes towards partnered online sexual activities, and more positive attitudes were seen in regards to

less explicit activities such as seeking sex-related information, or materials for solitary sexual activities, such as pornography. “In contrast, previous research has found that students tended to report slightly negative attitudes to online sexual activities,” adds Shaughnessy. She goes on to say that the participants represent a relatively small group, and more research needs to be done. Shaughnessy has yet to delve more into precisely why people engage in cybersex. However, she says that, just like offline sex, there are likely a wide variety of reasons. “Just as an example, people engage in sexual activity of all kinds for intimacy reasons—cybersex may also be an activity that people engage in to build and feel a sense of intimacy with their cybersex partner. But there are many more possible reasons and some of these likely are different from offline sexual activity,” says Shaughnessy. She is continuing her research on cybersex, and hopes that it will depathologize, destigmatize, and normalize what she calls “an activity that I believe can be and is used in a healthy, relationship maintaining and building kind of way.”

Will to game


Sharing games with the one you love WILLIAM WORKMAN Playing games is a great way to share experiences with your partner, possibly while gaining experience points. Video games in particular can be an important part of any relationship; they will bring you together and let you blow each other apart. Almost everyone has their own favourite game, but if you are not lucky enough to have a partner with similar tastes, or if you find yourself with someone, but they’re not that into games (yet), here are a few to try that are sure to end in good times.



A crazy combination of games, Puzzle Juice is a game designed for one person, but like solitaire, anyone watching over your shoulder is in serious danger of being sucked in. What might at first look like a damn snazzy Tetris clone quickly becomes a frantic exercise in agility as well as diction. Like in Tetris, neon blocks plummet downward, waiting for you to swiftly nudge them into neat rows. However, once a line has been completed, each

block in the row becomes a random letter of the alphabet. If the player wishes to rid themselves of the pesky bricks once and for all, they must drag their fingers to connect a series of letters and form a word. The mechanics are quite simple, but when one is faced with an ever-cascading series of vowels and consonants, the task can be overwhelming. It’s times like these when you need to bring in your ringer. Puzzle Juice is the perfect game to play along with a partner, and also makes for good couch co-op with additional people. Searching out words and neatly arranging rows is much more exciting when you’re doing it together. When the blocks are crashing down around you, the board is full, and there isn’t a power-up in sight, you will be glad that you have someone with you who happens to know for certain that “necessary” is spelled with one C and two Ss.

FINGLE Probably one of the strangest games I have ever played, Fingle is an intriguing tablet puzzler with a unique spin. A multitouch game of Twister for your fingers, Fingle will have you and your partner

playing handsies to an accompanying soundtrack of campy ’70s wah-wah guitar. The game itself is simple, each player must touch and drag a set of coloured squares into their own corresponding slots. To pass the levels, players must only hold these positions for a few seconds and are rewarded with a satisfied and sexy sigh, along with some words of encouragement. The true goal, however, is interaction: real, physical “multiplayer.” As levels progress, the number of fingers needed to complete each level fluctuates and the positions each player is asked to achieve become more and more entwined, the motions more and more provocative. Fingle is a surprisingly entertaining game. Its simple mechanics are easy enough for anyone to get into and the strongly suggestive gameplay and narrative is a good laugh when playing with a significant other, or hellishly awkward and uncomfortable when playing with your friends and co-workers. Though, I wouldn’t recommend playing it at work, especially if HR is present.

Bitcoin 101

The enigma of cryptocurrencies JEREMY VERNON Imagine this: you’re shopping online for a new Hello Kitty iPhone cover. You go to pay the merchant, but rather than giving them a credit card number, you transfer money directly from your browser to their server. No banks, no credit card companies, no consortium of financial firms sharing data (like Canada’s Interac). There is just you, the website, and the payment. Welcome to Bitcoin, the original, much imitated, never duplicated “cryptocurrency” that has libertarians salivating, bankers irate, and techies riveted. Delivered unto the world Athena-like from the mind (or minds, nobody knows for sure) of Satoshi Nakemoto in 2009, both the invention and its elusive inventor appear to exist only online. Bitcoin is a currency that could make conventional online payment methods obsolete. Those methods rely on one rare, precious phenomenon: trust. When you’re drunkenly buying Ty Beanie Babies off eBay at 3 a.m. (check out “mlutsky”—best stock around), you’re engaging in an intimate four-way between you, eBay, your credit card company, and a midwestern woman who wears pink sweaters with Bejeweled cats on them. Your credit card company pays the merchant, and expects that you’ll be able to pay them, and will charge you interest if you don’t do so promptly. The merchant then sends the merchandise to you on threat of a charge-back, such as when you realize you totally needed that money for smartphone data fees. Bitcoin kicks that whole process to the curb. It’s seen the X-Files, it knows the truth: trust no one. When you buy things with cash, you don’t need somebody from Visa chaperoning you, you just shove that fiver at the hipster barista

and take your sugar-free half-caf extra spice gingerbread latte with whip. So too with Bitcoin, except your computer and the merchant’s computer play the role of you and the barista’s hands, with no intermediary. If it’s all electronic ephemera, what makes Bitcoin worth anything? Bitcoin is maintained by a massive, multi-millioncomputer-strong distributed network of “miners” working to make sure that Bitcoins can’t be duplicated or counterfeited, and that transactions cannot be reversed (so you can’t use the same Bitcoin twice). There is a finite number of Bitcoins made available for circulation with a very small decay due to fees (paid in Bitcoins) for processing Bitcoin transactions. Unlike fiat currency (money declared legal tender by government), there is no organization with guns, an army, or a flag (like a nation-state or Wal-Mart) to back up Bitcoin as a medium of exchange, nor is there an inherently valuable material, like gold, to act as a standard. Instead it relies on people to use it as a mechanism for exchange based on its security and scarcity, a strategy common to all cryptocurrencies. Cryptocurrencies are a whole family of digital currencies, all based on Bitcoin with only minor variations. For example, Dogecoin, named after the shiba inu meme, uses a different algorithm to secure the underlying data. Despite being very similar to Bitcoin, Dogecoin managed to capture enough exchange value of its own to fund the Jamaican bobsled team for the Sochi Olympics. There are many others, notably Zerocoin which, unlike Bitcoin, is anonymous rather than pseudonymous (which I assure you is not a Harry Potter spell—I checked). All this alternative currency stuff might seem super dodgy. This is really

KLARA WOLDENGA (GRAPHIC) a matter of perspective. Bitcoin is quite new, and while it has gained a lot of traction in the last couple of years, it’s not mainstream yet. Many people, including some who are paid truly obscene amounts of money by established financial firms to do so, are predicting that Bitcoin will crash and burn either from a technical flaw in the system, or from the social factors in how the system is used. That said, some major investment firms, including Andreessen-Horowitz, have invested American dollars in cryptocurrency-related start-ups. Some retailers, like and TigerDirect, have started taking them as payment. Regulatory bodies in Europe and the U.S. have made disapproving noises about cryptocurrencies or have taken steps to dissuade users, but no government has

banned them outright. Is Bitcoin itself actually illegal? Not in Canada—at least, not yet. The U.S. National Security Agency has to have cracked this thing wide open by now, right? It’s unlikely. Without going into the math (it involves exponents!) the computational power necessary to “crack” Bitcoin is likely outside the reach of even the NSA, or any other organization. Moreover, it’s unlikely that anyone actually using Bitcoin would attempt to crack it, as success means a total collapse of the system, and the loss of its value; however, Bitcoins can still be stolen and used fraudulently. It’s really a lot like cash in that respect, except your kooky aunt could fit a lot more in Bitcoins under her mattress, since they can be accessed via her laptop. February 6, 2014

For those of us who don’t have an Erdős number, Bitcoin seems like something from the future, like a naked Arnold Schwartzenegger demanding your clothes. Cryptocurrencies will certainly exist in one form or another for the foreseeable future—they’re convenient, accessible, affordable and, perhaps most importantly, difficult for states to trace, seize, or control. Whether they hit the mainstream depends largely on if the mainstream can find profit in them. The network of trust model we’ve depended on for over a century, online and off, is rickety, inefficient, and rife with bugs. It seems fitting that on the 20th anniversary of the commercial web, we are being faced with a new innovation that could be just as disruptive.


Sexy Sports | Life

“I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge.” —J.R.R. Tolkien to C.S. Lewis

Let’s talk about sex


Oh, Valentine’s Day. You filthy minx, you. Now, this week’s issue is a tricky one for me, because (unlike the rest of the year) I’m not the only one writing about sex today. What I love about this particular issue is that we get to see so many freaky, wonderful sides and examinations of the thing called coitus we all love so very dearly. But I think maybe today I deserve a day off from sharing my kinky exploits—I’ll leave that to my much more intelligent (and, in all likelihood, much better at sex) colleagues. Two days ago, I walked into a supermarket and there was, get this, a section devoted to Valentine’s Day. About a quarter of the store was completely pink, with huge banners reminding you that your special someone will be fucking pissed if you forget to get them something. You know what I’m talking about—where they wrap up all of the regular candy in special sweetheart boxes so you can put the one you love into a sugar coma. The other big thing about Valentine’s Day (as you have probably devised from reading this issue) is the immense pressure to have sex. Because if you’re young, hot, and single, you should perpetually be without your underpants or inhibitions—especially on V-day. For the record—I am absolutely on board with this, and if you read this column a lot, you know that I’m all for getting down and dirty, if that’s what you want. But. I recently discovered the worst type of sex you can have. And it has nothing to do with size or effectiveness or smell. It doesn’t matter who you’re doing it with or where. As it turns out, the worst sex you can have is not situation-specific. Because the worst sex that you can have is mediocre sex. Blah sex. Yeah-okay-sure-but-can-we-finishwatching-the-Daily-Show sex. This is the sex everybody’s familiar with. No spice, no muss, no fuss. Sex

where you’re both there because you think you’re supposed to be. Given the choice between the worst sex I have ever had and blah-sex, I choose bad sex every single time. Why is this? Why would I choose the time where I literally got a Qu’ran thrown at me, or the dude that turned out to have three of everything, over blah sex? Because say what you will about bad sex, but at least it’s interesting. Even in the most horrifying how-didI-get-here moments, when you kind of want to call your mom and lament all the bad choices you’ve ever made, bad sex has your attention. You’re engaged in bad sex. In blah sex, you can be pretty much anywhere. It’s bland, it’s boring, and it’s probably (though not necessarily) in the missionary position. I would rather have bad sex and be fully engaged in every where-didthat-ham-come-from second, than sex on a Tuesday because Tuesday is “the night.” Flight of the Conchords fans will know what I’m talking about here. “Business time” can feel an awful lot like work. And for the record, I am not just talking about couples here. I have friends in longterm relationships that have incredibly freaky, crazy, Spiderman sex lives, and I’m super happy for those people. Blah sex is something that single people fall victim to as well. Like that moment where you’re on top of your fuck buddy thinking “Did I turn the washing machine on before I left?” If you’re not present or engaged with your own sex life, that’s a problem. And it won’t necessarily be fixed with more sex. So here’s what I’m advocating: take a break. Focus on getting your breath in and out of you, instead of someone else’s genitals. You should be stoked to see a person naked, not mildly enthused. The constant pursuit of sex isn’t mandatory, and I don’t care what day it is—it ain’t worth it if you’re not in it to win it (pun intended). Take a break. Get a hobby. There’s this pervasive idea that on Valentines Day, being


alone equals being lonely, and I take issue with that. If sex means that much to you, and you’re not that into anybody, buy yourself some heart-shaped Rolos and go at it by yourself. Light some candles, put on some Sarah McLachlin, throw yourself against a wall and go to town.

At least you know you’ll get off. Or try meeting new people, and find someone that you would totally change plans for. For the record I am not in any way advocating for or against falling in love here—sex and love aren’t mutually exclusive in my book. But do what you need to do to be present. Taking a

break from sex, Valentine’s Day or not, does not make you a leper. Engage in your own sex life, and if that means calling a temporary timeout, that’s legit. Or bring a ham into the bedroom. Believe me, you’ll have your partner’s full attention.

Strength, speed, skill characterize UVic skating club KEVIN UNDERHILL With the 2014 Winter Olympics quickly approaching, it’s time to examine a sport that typically skates under the radar. When you think of the winter Olympic highlights, it’s easy to consider hockey, curling, and extreme mountain sports—but what about the art of figure skating? The sport that combines grace, skill, and strength also has a presence on UVic campus. The UVic figure skating club (FSC) has been around for about 10 years and boasts a strong yearly membership. Karley Talbot, a UVic masters student studying clinical neuropsychology, has been involved in the UVic figure skating club since 2005, on and off. She has seen the program grow in cycles to become what it is today. “I’ve been here for a while, so I’ve

seen the club go kind of like a roller coaster. But right now, we have a lot of members,” Talbot says. The club has available ice time four times per week. The biggest deterrent to getting more members and more commitment is the ice time. The only ice available at UVic’s Ian Stewart Complex is in the middle of the day, which for students can be an almost sure conflict. Ice time is one thing Talbot would like to see improved over the next few years. The skating club takes advantage of club days for recruiting and is open to all levels of skaters. Although it is encouraged to have skating experience before joining the club, according to Talbot, some of the most dedicated members are brand new. Furthermore, the UVic FSC is open to anyone, but Talbot says the turnout is predominately female. “There have only been a small

24 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET

February 6, 2014

handful of men, maybe two or three since I’ve been here, that have skated with UVic,” Talbot says. “It varies each year, and the males aren’t always available for the skating times.” UVic FSC is gender inclusive, but a stigma around male figure skaters exists in youth skating, and the club primarily recruits people who have skated before. With fewer males coming in through youth skating programs, it makes it tough for UVic to recruit male skaters. “The males that grew up skating with me were definitely stigmatized as being homosexual,” Talbot says. “People in the figure skating world get frustrated by this stigma.” The lack of men can cause a problem for skaters who are looking to skate pairs. Pairs skating, a competitive division in the Winter Olympics, is a dynamic sport, requiring strength,

speed, and skill. An overabundance of one side of the pair can result in people being forced to skate alone. “It’s frustrating for some of us. A lot of us were growing up looking for pairs and wanting to skate pairs, but couldn’t find males that were willing,” Talbot says. Sometimes compared to hockey, figure skating males often come across as less tough, which in actuality may not be the case at all. Alison Gurney, club president and fourth-year bio-psych student at UVic, says that the speed and lack of pads can make figure skating very dangerous. “Hockey is portrayed as being very tough, and figure skating isn’t,” Gurney says. “There are a lot of stereotypes with men figure skating. Many boys are pushed towards hockey when they are young—only few stick it out in figure skating.”

Even without a huge male contingency, the UVic figure skating club powers on. The club focuses primarily on its recreational component, but skaters from UVic will enter the occasional competition. Gurney says the program made a switch a few years ago, and as a result, the club doesn’t often enter competitions any more. “If you want to enter a competition, it’s better to just register with your old club or a club here on the island,” Gurney says. Because of the reduced competition, the UVic FSC has started going in the show direction. Gurney says, “We are aiming to do more shows. Shows are less stressful and put less emphasis on the competition aspect.” The UVic figure skating club has a show coming up on March 28, 2014.

Valentine’s Day? More like Galentine’s Day!






THEY’RE BACK - VIKES VS. CAPS The highly anticipated CIS and MLS friendly featuring hosts, the UVic Vikes, and Whitecaps FC will take place Feb. 16 at Centennial Stadium at 2 p.m. This will be the third-straight and ninth overall match up between the men's soccer squads that have met all but one year (2011) since 2005. At least five Vikes have previously played professional soccer with Whitecaps FC including Jamie Lowery, Chris and Nico Craveiro, Geordie Lyall and current men's soccer coach Bruce Wilson.


Last year, Whitecaps FC defeated the Vikes 3-0 in front of 2,600 fans at Centennial Stadium. Since 2005, Vancouver holds the edge with a 6-1-1 overall record against UVic. A bolstered Whitecaps FC travelling roster will feature captain Jay De Merit as well as Nigel Reo-Coker, Russell Teibert, Omar Salgado and Darren Mattocks.














Valentine’s Day: the one day of the year that indulges couples in sharing their love for one another through an abundance of Hallmark cards, flowers, and chocolates. It’s a holiday that is both loved and loathed by many. Yes, it’s fun when you’re one half of a whole and you can plan a romantic evening with that special someone you care most about. But Valentine’s Day is less forgiving toward the unattached. On this particular day, you’re either single and ready to mingle, or elbows deep in ice cream to sooth your self-pity. There is no expected middle way. Thankfully, four years ago, the ever-delightful Amy Poehler brought single ladies an option to kick those forever-alone woes in the butt. Season two of the NBC hit, Parks and Recreation saw the rise of what Poehler coined as Galentine’s Day: a day for women to celebrate female companionship. We live in a society where girls are continually taught that they need a man in their life in order to feel complete. A whole generation of girls grew up with Bella Swan as a role model—a character that would rather die than be without her boyfriend. Having a relationship is not the be all, end all of life. Sometimes it’s important to remember that your friendships can be just as gratifying, if you let them be. Girls’ nights may sound like a cliché, but these are, in fact, essential marks on any woman’s calendar. It’s an

opportunity to do those unapologetically feminine things: hair, makeup, nails, spontaneous living room dance parties . . . but at the heart of it all are the intimate and brutally honest conversations. Girls’ nights are evenings where we let off steam, unpack all our baggage, and shoulder each other’s burdens for a while. Life is stressful and exhausting. We’re constantly guilt-tripped into believing we’re too fat, too ugly, too slutty, too bitchy, too prudish . . . the list goes on. So there is no surprise that ladies have a great deal to rant about. And thankfully, our girlfriends get that. Thankfully as well, they’re even better at letting us know we’re leaps and bounds better than that. I don’t need a sparkly boyfriend to tell me I’m beautiful and amazing when I have about a dozen women in my life who can shout it louder and with more conviction. So ladies, if you’re feeling lonely this February, don’t wallow alone. Remember the goddesses in your life who would set the world on fire for you. Remember all the times they caught you when you fell or the times they were there to listen at 2 a.m. Send them a message of pure, unadulterated affection. Bombard them with inside jokes. Plan the biggest, most fun friend date you can think of. Days of celebrating women are few and far between; why not start with the ones who love you?











YOUTH (AGE 7-12)






TICKETS | 250-721-8480 MORE INFO Lower Island Soccer Pre-Sale Group Rate of 25% off available *Pre-sale tickets available now (closes Feb 14 at noon) | Gate opens at 1PM February 6, 2014

MARTLET • Sports | Lifestyle 25


February 6, 2014

Sexy Humour Google launches new Google Glass beta feature, Date+, to celebrate Valentine’s Day

Sit down. Let me tell you about me and the bees.


10 pick-up lines that totally work 100 per cent of the time, every time* 1

“Are you a high priest of the cult of Kali? Because you just tore out my still-beating heart and enslaved my body and soul.”


“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.“


“Wanna come back to my place and see my cobra?”


“You must be a red mushroom, because you make me bigger.”


“I’m going outside to make out. Wanna join me?”


“If I could rearrange the alphabet, U and I would be having sex in my car.”


“Do you have a needle and thread? ‘Cause I’m ripped.”


“Wow, baby, you’re an angel. Can you touch me like one?”


“I’ve forgotten where I live; may I stay at your place?”


KLARA WOLDENGA HUMOUR—At Google’s press conference yesterday, Google’s CEO, Larry Page, announced that, in celebration of Valentine’s Day, beta customers who are also partners with each other and each have a Google Glass will be given a free, new feature. This new feature targeted towards romantic couples is called Date+, or “date plus”, and allows free texting, and picture and video messaging between the pair of Google Glasses, free of charge. “We hope that with this new feature, couples will feel less obligated to talk to each other in real life,” said Page. “In today’s world, couples are usually either too busy or too anxious to discuss real issues or ideas. Date+ hopes to make it so you will never have to talk about those things again.” Page also stated that Google hopes that with the upcoming release of season two of House of Cards on Valentine’s Day, couples will not have to choose between watching new episodes and spending quality time with their loved ones. Victoria locals Mary and John Aldik have been a lucky pair chosen out of over 5000 applicants hoping for a

chance to test out Google Glass and the Date+ feature. “At first we were a bit nervous about using them. You know, with Google taking all your information and all,” said Mrs. Aldik. “But then they told us they weren’t evil, so that really cleared the situation up.” Mary and John were both given a free pair of Google Glass to beta test, along with the Date+ feature. “Since we started using them, it’s really freed up our time,” said Mrs. Aldik. “It’s so much more convenient than actually talking and spending time together.” Date+ also has a multitasking feature, which allows the user to interact with their significant other on one lens while using the other for programs, such as Internet browsing. “Finally I can hang out with John while also posting my casual encounter Craigslist ads at the same time,” said Mrs. Aldik. “It’s definitely a worthwhile feature.” The multitasking app also supports other standard computer programs usually not compatible with mobile devices. “With Date+, I can spend time with my wife, while I do my daily quests in World of Warcraft,” said Mr. Aldik. “Life has never been more convenient, and

my gold has never been higher.” “With this feature we hope not only to improve the experience of relationships, but also gain a window into the world of real-life North American relationships,” said Page. Google also hopes to build on Date+ in the next few years by partnering with Facebook to incorporate Facebook’s “Face time.” “We hope that with this technological advance, we can make it so each partner can electronically interact with one another without having to turn to each other in real life,” said Page. Google is also hoping to partner with Amazon, with the goal of allowing couples to spend time together without talking to each other or even leaving their home with Amazon’s drone system. “As a company, Google has the advancement of technology in its hands,” said Page. “We have a responsibility to please our customers by advancing us toward a comfortable future.” Google Glass, and its Date+ feature, is aimed to be available to the general public in 2016, while the Facetime Date+ add-on is aimed to be available to beta testers in late 2014.


“Do you have a keg in your pants? Because I’d like to tap dat ass.”

*Pick-up lines may not work 100 per cent of the time. Possible side effects of using these pick-up lines may include hurt feelings, slapping of the users’ facial cheek, mocking laughter toward the user, regret, as well as increased solo consumption of alcohol and/or ice cream. Always consult your wingman before attempting pick-up lines. MARTLET STAFF

February 6, 2014


Restaurant & Lounge

Exibiting local artwork / live DJs / menu available all night / gluten free & vegan dining options / comedy & open mic nights / free wi-fi / original house cocktails / unique urban underground in downtown Victoria

768 Yates


We’re holding talks all month Come hear from great local journalists about their careers and the business.

Danielle Pope — Feb. 21 at 2 p.m.

John Threlfall

— Feb. 28 at 2 p.m.

The Martlet Speaker Series offers free events open to all students and the public. Talks will take place in the Martlet Office, Student Union Building (SUB) B011.

Monday Nights!

February 17th quarter final

Shoestring Bourbon & Redwood Green & Antibody






The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy. Martlet (SUB B011) P.O. BOX 3035 University of Victoria Victoria, B.C. V8W 3P3

Editor-in-Chief Shandi Shiach

Distribution Marketa Hlavon, Matthew Loewen, Sharon Smiley

Culture Editor Brontë Renwick-Shields

Production Co-ordinator William Workman

Copy Editor Katlyn Goeujen-Mackness

Business|Tech Editor Max D'Ambrosio

Business Manager Erin Ball

Junior Designer Kaitlyn Rosenburg

Sports|Lifestyle Editor Kevin Underhill

Associate Editor Beth Parker Distribution Co-ordinator Jon-Paul Zacharias

News Editor Taryn Brownell


Business 250.721.8359



Junior Reporter Gabe Lunn

Cover Photo by Brandon Everell & Brenna Waugh

Promotions Co-ordinator Chorong Kim Web Media Specialist Jeremy Vernon

Photo Editor Brandon Everell

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Staff Writers Janine Crockett, Adam Hayman

Contributors Stuart Armstrong, Hayley Atkins, Peter Boldt, Marisa Clark, Zoë Collier, Rebecca Comeau, Michel Ghanem, Katlyn Goeujen-Mackness, Chorong Kim, Jill Kuzyk, Douglas Laird, Beth May, Jake Mentz, Patrick Musgrave, Ina Pace, Adrian Paradis, Olivia Perry, Sophie Pinkoski, Evan Read Armstrong, Mary Robertson, Emma Shaw, Regan Shrumm, Mia Steinberg, Jenn Takaoka, Emily Thiessen, Garrett E.S. Therrien, Jeremy Vernon, Kati Walters

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Newsroom 250.721.8360

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February 6, 2014  

Issue 22, Volume 66

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