VAMPIRES AND SLAVES Dr. A comes by — after I get on the transplant list. “Congratulations Mr. Fussell” “Please, ‘Mark’. And not ‘Mr. Mark’, which seems to be very popular among the RNs” “Ok. Mark. You are now on ‘the list’… and I am here to discuss it with you. You appear to be mentally stable under stress & significant unknowns, are willing to do what the doctors tell you to do, and are a generally ‘productive’ (even slightly ‘manic’) individual. These were the prime considerations that we used to put you on that list.” “I assume that and my general health” “Yes. Kind of. The list I am talking about is a different list. The liver transplant list is just a ‘cover’. You are now on the hemodialysis list.” “Isn’t that just for my kidney functions until I get a transplant? I thought I was already getting dialysis?” “You are and aren’t. This will take a bit of imagination and acceptance on your part. Please keep any open mind for a few minutes” “Ok, I will try to hold off my questions for a bit” “You were admitted to Stanford ICU on March 28th. A day later, you passed” “Passed what?” “No. Passed. Passed away. You never woke up from the - 17 -