THE FIGHT LGBT MAGAZINE DECEMBER 2011

ISSUE 011 DEC 2011 THEFIGHTMAG.COM

Jeremiah THE ETHICS OF OUTING Why Tim Cook’s Sexuality Is Important

BY DESIGN Rachel R h lZ Zoe’s ’ JJeremiah i h Brent B On Finding Your Passion

BREAKING THE SILENCE Same Sex Domestic Violence in Los Angeles eles

DEFEND YOURSELF! Transgender Murder in Hollywood Krav Maga Self Defense Tips

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THE

CONTENTS

ON OUR COVER: Photography J. HORTON jrphoto.com Grooming ISRAEL GARCIA israelgarciahairandmakeup.com Videography: KYLE SCHEMBER, Subtractive.net JEREMIAH BRENT wears AMERICAN APPAREL t-shirt

COVER STORIES AND FEATURES 14

TRANSGENDER MURDER IN HOLLYWOOD

16

iGAY

22

JEREMIAH, BY DESIGN

26

BREAKING THE SILENCE

30

MINORITY BURDEN

32

GROUP SUPPORT

40

KRAV MAGA Self Defense Techniques

Ignoring TIM COOK’S Sexuality

JEREMIAH BRENT On Finding True Passion

LGBT Victims Of Domestic Violence

Tolerating The Intolerable

THEFIGHT

Jeremiah THE ETHICS OF OUTING Why Tim Cook’s Sexuality Is Important

BY DESIGN Rachel R h lZ Zoe’s ’ Jeremiah J i hB Brent On Finding Your Passion

BREAKING THE SILENCE Gay Prostate Cancer Group

THEM AND NOW AIDS Performance Piece And CD

the columns 8 10 12 18 20 28 36 38 42

ISSUE 011 DEC 2011 THEFIGHTMAG.COM

THE LETTER FROM THE EDITOR THE ROSTOW REPORT Republicans Mainlining Crazyy Juice THE CITY Keeping West Hollywood Safe THE LAW Gay Marriage And Bankruptcy THE FAMILY Egg Donor Agencies THE ENVIRONMENT Solar Energy Benefit THE CALENDAR Events, Groups, Resources THE DINING GUIDE Recommended Restaurant Options THE FINAL FIGHT Harvey Milk’s Legacy 6

Same Sex Domestic Violence in Los Angeles eles

DEFEND YOURSELF! Transgender Murder in Hollywood Krav Maga Self Defense Tips

+

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Barney Frank Steps Down

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THE

EDITOR “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

– Confucius

I

n this month’s cover feature JEREMIAH BRENT, from “The Rachel Zoe Project,” talks about, among other things, finding your true passion in life (“Jeremiah, By Design,” page 22).

“I came to work for Rachel at a time where I had lost my passion for interior design,” reveals Brent. “I spent so much time worrying about what I didn’t know that I failed to realize what I did, and what I had accomplished already in my life. Rachel taught me to live your life through passion. She showed me that your work should/could fuel your soul.

I grew up a lot this last year. I found my voice in a lot of ways both creatively and personally. Most importantly I found my passion for design and furniture again.”

Passions are born out of experiences, experiences that leave a mark on you.

Most people do not suddenly become passionate about something while sitting around on the couch. If you want to discover a burning passion, then you need to put yourself in a position to have a burning experience.

It is in the act of creating new experiences that we discover who we are.

If you would like to offer The Fight at your location, please call 323-297-4001 PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride in Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, Inc. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone 323-297-4001 Fax 213-281-9648 Email info@thefightmag.com

THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and soley responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers.

Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents ©2011 Third Step, Inc., all rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission.

STANFORD ALTOMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

THEFIGHT

8

The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine, and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion. www.thefightmag.com

THE

ROSTOW REPORT

SEXIST REACTIONS STEREOTYPES AND TRITE GENDER

I was reading an article about an antigay law about to be enacted in Nigeria, when I noticed a link to a headline that read: “Snake Slithers out of ATM.” Talk about the stuff of nightmares. According to Euro Weekly News, the serpent emerged from a cash machine in Liodio, Alava, Spain. A man using the ATM on his way to work managed to grab his money and call authorities, who rescued the reptile and sent it to an animal hospital.

Sounds like the snake made it, in case you care about things like that.

I had a sexist reaction to the story, instantly thinking that it was a good thing that a man rather than a woman had to deal with the repellant incident. I suppose it’s nothing more than a trite gender stereotype, but really. Ladies? Would you have taken the money? Or would you have backed away and started screaming? I know how I would have handled the situation, and it would not have been a pretty sight.

And no, I don’t want to hear about all the wonderful characteristics of snakes. I’m sure they’re delightful creatures once you get to know them, much like tarantulas and large rodents.

NIGERIA’S FAG HAGS: BE AFRAID In Nigeria, while we’re at it, a bill is pending to outlaw homosexual unions and criminalize anyone who “abets” gay couples. When I first heard the story, I understood it to be a ban on legal marriage, which was strange since Nigeria has long outlawed sodomy. But actually, it’s a ban on gay relationships in general. Not only is it illegal to have gay sex in Nigeria, but as far as I can tell, it will soon be illegal to live together or be a couple. Plus, there’s the whole abetting clause that results in a ten-year prison sentence for anyone who aids or abets a gay union, whatever that might entail.

So much for Nigeria’s fag hags. Watch out sisters!

The legislation was a deliberate slap at British Prime Minister DAVID CAMERON, who said last month that his government would consider withholding foreign aid to countries that persecute others based on faith or sexuality. Well, that covers most of the African continent, where conservative leaders condemned Cameron as a neoColonial meddler.

Hey guys. Just don’t take the money. Can you imagine if every major nation refused aid to countries with criminal laws against gay men and women? It would be nice, but that would not solve the core problem in places like Nigeria and Uganda, namely the depth and strength of the gay hatred that saturates their societies.

While we’re at it, I might as well tell you about a proposed law in Saint Petersburg that would fine citizens for any “public acts” that promote homosexuality. When our State Department criticized the legislation, a Russian diplomat accused the U.S. of inappropriately interfering in his country’s local politics.

THEFIGHT

10

REPUBLICANS MAINLINING CRAZY JUICE

SOMETHING

WILL KILL YOU SOMEDAY

Let’s dip our toes into the colorful sludge of the GOP primary race, where to widespread astonishment, I just heard that apple juice has arNewt and Calista are now the front runners for the senic in it. Now that I think about it, nomination. it seems as if legal rations of things It seems like yesterday I was ridiculing like arsenic and rat droppings are the chubby megalomaniac for sipping Cava at a present in trace amounts in all bar next door to a suburban Tiffany’s, while Calista sorts of comestibles, doesn’t it? browsed for bling. One would think that Calista would steer clear of robin’s egg blue for the duration At some point, you just have toof the campaign given the lingering odor of “to hell with stop listening and stop reading. poor people” that still surrounds the Gingrichs’ half million-dollar line of Tiffany credit. But Cell phones give you brain cancer. no. If their extravagance knows no bounds, it also knows no shame.

Coffee saves you from liver cancer.

At the time, the Gingrich campaign was nothing more than a vanity tour, an excuse for Snoring leads to strokes. Apple Newt to strut the political stage, full of sound and fury, signifying that, as we already knew, the juice has arsenic. Spinach has eman’s a pompous fool. Now, I have only one question: What the hell happened? coli. The shopping cart has germs.

Look, no one’s surprised that Herman Cain’s rise was followed by Herman Cain’s fall. I My advice is to ignore the entire don’t think we expected so many sex scandals, but we did expect something to bring him platter of health news with the exdown. Had he been a model husband, his rambling incoherence would have eventually ception of those pleasant surprises eroded his support. where you learn that something I suppose I thought that Perry would have eventually picked up those former Cain you already like or do turns out to votes. Who knew why people liked Cain in the first place? The man was a moron, so it’s not be good for you. Drinking wine and as if people liked his positions. It seemed as if they liked his folksy style, right? So why not getting eight hours of sleep are on switch to another folksy moron like Rick Perry? my, relatively short, list. Oh, and But Gingrich? Gingrich? NEWT GINGRICH? A thrice-married holier-than-thou meandark chocolate. spirited self-indulgent crackpot with an ego the size of a Brontosaurus and a heart the size of a bedbug? This is the man who inherited the votes of the jovial Herman Cain? How? Why? I loathe the very sight of this man, larded with complacency and bursting with self congratulation at every opportunity. The notion that Gingrich, with his bombastic historical pronouncements and disdainful political rhetoric, is some kind of “intellectual” or “genius” is ludicrous. What are they smoking over there in the GOP electorate? Have they been spending their time at my fantasy VIP airport lounge?

I guess I should be pleased at Newt’s rise to the top, given that I want Obama to win a second term. But it’s still disturbing. Who are these people, my fellow Americans, who would align themselves, first with Cain, then with Newt? I’m a good Democrat, and disagree with Republicans on the usual range of policy issues. I opposed Dole, Bush and McCain. But at least I understood why those on the other side of the aisle would nominate those men as their standard bearers.

As for Sarah Palin, once McCain made what was clearly an ill-conceived choice, Republicans had to go along. But if Republicans deliberately nominate Newt Gingrich, they will cross a line of political sanity and descend into dark waters indeed. I have to assume that when all is said and done, Romney or Huntsman will emerge victorious. That said, it’s not clear at this point how we’ll get from here to there. And I say “we” rather than “they” because a presidential nominee is in some ways an American issue regardless of party.

BYE BYE BARNEY You heard of course that our irascible Congressional champion, BARNEY FRANK, is retiring at the end of this term. Frank, facing a redrawn district and fed up with the stalemate of GOP rule in the lower chamber, decided enough was enough. And at 71, with something like 30 years of lawmaking under- his belt, I think the man deserves a break.

Unless some other gay candidate wins a House seat next year, Frank’s departure will leave us with Colorado’s Jared Polis and Rhode Island’s David Cicilline as our only gay members. Wisconsin’s Tammy Baldwin is running for Senate, so maybe she’ll be able to claim a place in history as the first openly GLBT Senator. But if not, she’ll be out of government for now.

We’re not the only ones with low representation on Capitol Hill. Women, Blacks and minorities in general all suffer from the same syndrome, and I suppose only time-decades of it-will raise our collective profiles. Meanwhile, we just have to hope that our white male allies stick with us as we slowly erode their massive demographic majority.

You never know. Maybe a sitting lawmaker will pop out of the closet.

ANN ROSTOW writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. Rostow can be reached at: arostow@aol.com

THEFIGHT

11

THE

CITY

KEEP WEHO SAFE A

string of attacks on gay men in West Hollywood last month has prompted the launch

of a Facebook group called “Keep WeHo Safe.” WeHo resident, Jason Palmer, speaking on behalf of the group told WeHo News that “Many victims have told us that when they have interaction with the police after a crime,” he said, “they feel they are not treated with respect... that at times, they are not taken seriously. It’s even insinuated that these are lies they are telling them.” For more info visit: www.facebook.com/keepwehosafe

PROPOSITION 8 SETBACK Advocates of same-sex marriage in California suffered a setback last month when the state Supreme Court ruled that proponents of Proposition 8 had standing to defend the ballot measure in court. Had the court ruled the other way, a federal appeals court that had sought the state court’s advice might well have dismissed the case. That would have left intact - at least in the absence of a U.S. Supreme Court appeal - District Judge Vaughn R. Walker’s powerful ruling that Proposition 8 violated the Constitution’s guarantees of due process and equal protection of the laws.

21 YEARS FOR KILLING GAY TEEN A teenager who fatally shot a gay classmate in the back of the head during an Oxnard middle school computer lab will spend 21 years in prison under a plea deal reached last month, closing the books on a case that drew international headlines and ignited debate on how schools should handle sexual identity issues. Brandon McInerney, who was 14 when he pulled a gun out of his backpack and shot Larry King two times at point-blank range, will be kept behind bars until he is 38 under the terms of the deal struck by Ventura County prosecutors.

THEFIGHT

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TRANSGENDER MURDER IN HOLLYWOOD AUTHORITIES BELIEVE THE VICTIM, NATHAN HENRY VICKERS, WAS KILLED

BY THE SAME MAN WHO TRIED TO ROB A SECOND TRANSGENDER WOMAN AT GUNPOINT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD’S PLUMMER PARK KRAV MAGA SELF-DEFENSE

1

When a deadly weapon is used in a property crime, there is often no harm done to the victim. If you feel that the bad guy just wants your wallet or purse, give it to them. While there are NO guarantees, statistics say you will not be harmed.

2

L

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? Police sketch of murder suspect.

APD Hollywood Homicide detectives are asking for the public’s help in identifying the person responsible for the murder of a transgender woman in Hollywood.

On November 17, 2011, at 9:58pm, LAPD Hollywood Area patrol officers responded to a shooting call in the area of Lexington Avenue and Gower Street. When they arrived they saw a woman lying unconscious and suffering from a gunshot wound. LAFD rescue personnel responded to the scene and pronounced the victim dead.

Detectives believe that the victim, a 32-year-old transgender woman named Nathan Henry Vickers, was standing in the area when an unknown suspect walked up to the victim and shot her.

Authorities believe Vickers was killed by the same man who tried to rob a second transgender woman at gunpoint in West Hollywood’s Plummer Park half an hour later, a mile and a half away. The assailant in the second shooting used a black semiautomatic pistol but missed.

The suspect is described as male, black and possibly homeless. He is about 5 feet, 9 inches tall and is in his mid-20s to 30s. Authorities are saying he should be considered armed and dangerous. He was further described as having skin tags around his eyes and might have been riding a bicycle.

Anyone with information regarding the crime is encouraged to contact Hollywood Homicide Detectives Vinton or Officer Goodkin at 213-9722910 during regular business hours. During non-business hours or on weekends calls should be directed to 1-877-LAPD-24-7 (1-877-527-3247).

Anyone wishing to remain anonymous should call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (1-800-222-8477).

THEFIGHT

14

HOWEVER, any time the victim is relocated or restricted in movement (tied up, locked in a closet, etc.), his/her chances of being harmed increase greatly! If your attacker tries to move you to a new location, or bind you, you should consider defending yourself immediately.

3

Aggressiveness counts. Even if you don’t know any self defense techniques, defend yourself aggressively and decisively. Attack vulnerable areas like the eyes, nose, throat, and groin. Bite. Use your fingernails. Take cheap shots. If you are fighting fair, you are using the wrong tactics.

4

Get loud. Make as much noise as possible, even while you are fighting. Use foul language. If you yell “Help!” people might be afraid to respond; but if you shout “Get the f#ck off me you piece of $h!t!” people might actually stop to see what’s happening.

5

Take self defense classes. Iinvesting a couple of hours a week in self defense classes might extend your life by years!

JOHN WHITMAN, 4th degree black belt in Krav Maga, is an internationally-recognized instructor in the field of self defense. He has been teaching defensive tactics to civilians, military, and law enforcement agencies for 17 years. He teaches self defense classes in Culver City, CA.

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iGay OUTING HAS ONCE AGAIN HIT THE HEADLINES, WITH MEDIA OUTLETS AGONIZING OVER TIM COOK, THE NEW CEO OF APPLE, INC.

BY MARK ARIEL n March 1990, journalist and gay activist Michelangelo Signorile wrote a cover story for the now-defunct OutWeek magazine, titled “The Secret Gay Life of Malcolm Forbes,” within weeks of the multi millionaire’s death.

The focus of Signorile’s article was how the media had colluded in maintaining the “secret” of the late media mogul Malcolm Forbes’ gay life. But the larger purpose was to initiate a debate over a media double standard in which virtually all aspects of public figures’ private lives were open for scrutiny except homosexually.

People argued over outing’s historic, strategic, and ethical aspects; its implications for privacy; and its impact on those outed. To some, it seemed cruel; to others, a revolutionary redefinition of homosexual identity. It was a rare moment when the gay and straight worlds were fully engaged in the same discussion.

I THEFIGHT

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Tim Cook is, after all, not just one of the most powerful gay men in the world; he’s one of the most powerful people in the world, period.

Many considered the debate’s unofficial end to be in 1995, when a mainstream publication, The Wall Street Journal, revealed that another media mogul, Jann Wenner, had left his wife for his boyfriend. That revelation was precisely what Signorile had advocated: that the media report the truth about public figures when that truth is relevant.

Now outing has once again hit the headlines, with media outlets agonizing over Tim Cook’s (the new chief executive officer of Apple Inc) sexuality.

For the most part, there has been journalistic silence on Cook’s sexuality, save for a few speculative pieces that have massively stirred the pot. At the top of the list is Ryan Tate’s “Meet Apple’s New Boss, The Most Powerful Gay Man in Silicon Valley,” which appeared at Gawker in January. Predictably, the “outing” based on anonymous sources outraged many.

Felix Salmon, a blogging editor for Reuters, on the other hand, says the media has a duty to report on the sexuality of so-called powerful “glass-closeted” gay people.

“Surely this is something we can and should be celebrating, if only in the name of diversity - that a company which by some measures the largest and most important in the world is now being run by a gay man,” writes Salmon. “Certainly when it comes to gay role models, Cook is great: he’s the boring systems-andprocesses guy, not the flashy design guru, and as such he cuts sharply against stereotype.”

“One of the issues here,” states Salmon, “is that most news outlets cover Cook as part of their Apple story, and Cook’s sexuality is irrelevant to his role at Apple. And so the other story - the fact that the ranks of big-company CEOs have just become significantly more diverse - is being overlooked and ignored. And that’s bad for the gay and lesbian community.”

CLOSETS OF FEAR “The institution of the closet is one of fear,” says Salmon, “one where people would rather be ignored than noticed, because they fear the negative repercussions of being known to be gay. It’s an institution, which Cook, like any gay man born in 1960, knows at first hand. But now the risk of being ignored is bigger in the other direction: if the world can’t see gay men and women in all their true diversity, if the only homosexuals they know of are the ... ones they see on TV, then that only serves to perpetuate stereotypes.”

Tim Cook is, after all, not just one of the most powerful gay men in the world; he’s one of the most powerful people in the world, period. The first instinct of many journalists writing about Cook will be to ignore the issue of his sexuality. It’s not germane to his job, they’re only writing about him because of the job he holds, and therefore they shouldn’t write about it.

On top of that, Cook is not exactly open about his sexual-

ity, and Apple has never said anything about it. Cook’s formative years, professionally speaking, were the 12 years he spent at IBM between 1982 and 1994 - and at that company, in those days, coming out was contraindicated from a career-development perspective. Mike Fuller, a gay VP at IBM, told the Advocate in 2001 that he knew “IBM employees who worked for the company in the 1980s who told me they left IBM because they weren’t comfortable coming out at work”; this comes as little surprise. After all, the years that Cook spent at straight-laced IBM coincided with the height of the AIDS panic, when people were worried about sharing toilet seats with homosexuals. It would be hard to come out at any company in that kind of atmosphere.

“But thankfully,” opines Salmon, “we’ve moved a very long way from those days. Homosexuality is no longer something shameful, to be coy or secretive about - especially not when you’ve risen to the very top of your profession. In fact, it’s incumbent upon a public-company CEO not to be in the closet.”

INVASION OF PRIVACY Is this an invasion of privacy? To a certain extent, yes. More people know more things about Tim Cook now than they did a few weeks ago. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of Apple.

In any public corporation, says Salmon, there’s a small number of people whose jobs are outward-facing, and at the top of the list is always the CEO. He’s the public face of the company; if you see a corporate profile on the cover of a glossy magazine, chances are it will be illustrated with a big picture of the CEO. If you don’t want your face splashed across the world’s media, then you shouldn’t be CEO of a massively valuable company that touches millions of people.

Sometimes, as in the case of Mark Zuckerberg, entire movies - and not particularly accurate ones, either - are made about you and your personal life. Reporting that Tim Cook is gay is absolutely nothing, in the invasion-of-privacy stakes, compared to the movie “The Social Network.” But CEOs, especially CEOs of public companies, are public figures. Their salaries are a matter of public knowledge. “When you’re a public figure, you lose a certain amount of privacy,” says Salmon. “And the higher your profile rises, the more privacy you lose. Tim Cook knows that; he knows that it’s silly to expect to be the CEO of Apple without the world knowing that he’s gay. So let’s stop pretending that we’re not talking about this subject for his sake.”

“Keeping his sexuality a secret is no longer an option,” says Salmon. “And so the press shouldn’t treat it as though it’s something to be avoided at all costs. There’s no ethical dilemma when it comes to reporting on Cook’s sexuality: rather, the ethical dilemma comes in not reporting it, thereby perpetuating the idea that there’s some kind of stigma associated with being gay. Yes, the stigma does still exist in much of society. But it’s not the job of the press to perpetuate it. Quite the opposite.”

THEFIGHT

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THE

LAW

GAY MARRIAGE

BANKRUPTCY Los Angeles area bankruptcy judges led unusual effort to grant same sex married couples full legal rights in bankruptcy court

U

ntil earlier this year, legally married, same-sex married couples in California were routinely denied the full legal protections afforded by the bankruptcy laws of the United States. This meant that even those who were legally married during a brief period in 2008, when it was legal in California, could not avail themselves of the legal rights and remedies available to everyone else.

Federal officials responsible for the administration of bankruptcy cases are assigned to the offices of the United States Trustee, a division of the Department of Justice. U.S. Trustees have long opposed gay and lesbian couples filing joint petitions for bankruptcy protection, and have appeared in courts across the nation to contest these cases, asserting that the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prohibited the filing of petitions by samesex, legally married couples.

This can have a practical yet profound impact on the financial lives of same-sex married couples, as it requires same-sex married couples to pay two separate court filing fees, and creates the need to unravel often complicated financial entanglements for couples who jointly own real estate, joint bank accounts, joint debts and other assets.

The change in the policy of the U.S. Trustee stems from a case involving two California men who got married when it was briefly legal in 2008, before the state’s voters passed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages. A U.S. Trustee initially challenged Gene Balas and

THEFIGHT

18

BY NORBERTO F. REYES, III, Esq., Attorney at Law, President/CEO of REYES LAW GROUP, APLC Carlos Morales’ shared Chapter 13 bankruptcy plan on the grounds that DOMA prohibited it. But 20 of the 24 bankruptcy judges in Los Angeles took the highly unusual step of jointly signing an order disagreeing with the U.S. Trustee’s legal position, and ruled earlier this year that the act violated the couple’s civil rights.

Peter Anderson, U.S. Trustee for the Central District of California, which includes the bankruptcy courts in the Greater Los Angeles area, subsequently appealed, maintaining President Barack Obama had ordered government lawyers to defend the ban “unless and until” Congress repeals the act or there is a final judicial ruling striking it down. But Anderson withdrew his objections in a written filing shortly thereafter.

Bankruptcy statutes are federal laws, comprised of a comprehensive legal framework that allows honest but unfortunate debtors to achieve certain financial objectives.

For most consumers and small businesses, this process begins with the filing of a petition under Chapter 7, 13 or 11 of the bankruptcy code. Chapter 7 is commonly known as a “liquidation” bankruptcy proceeding, in which the law grants a debtor the right to discharge or eliminate his or her personal liability for most financial obligations. Chapters 13 and 11 are commonly known as “reorganization” bankruptcy proceedings, in which the law grants a debtor the right to propose a financial plan of reorganization that would allow the debtor to retain some or all of his property, as long as the financial reorganization plan is feasible and the debtor complies with his obligations under that plan.

This is a significant development in furthering the legal protections afforded to the LGBT community, but as long as state-level same-sex marriage bans remain in effect, same-sex spouses are still not truly equal. For example, taking a job in another state would require a married couple to consider whether their marriage would be recognized for purposes of hospital visitation, inheritance, taxes and other spousal rights. Only a full recognition of the civil rights of same-sex married couples would eliminate those barriers to true equal rights for all Americans.

NORBERTO F. REYES, III is the President and CEO of REYES LAW GROUP, APLC, based in Los Angeles, which specializes in providing a hands-on approach of dedicated and personalized representation to give its clients the best possible outcomes in foreclosure defense, bankruptcy and unfair debt collection.

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f you’re a same sex couple considering creating a family, one of the first steps is to contact an egg donor agency.

“An egg donor agency is the liaison between the egg donors and the recipients otherwise known as intended parents,” explains Robyn Perchik, from Beverly Hills Egg Donation.

“We recruit , screen, and interview donors.

From selecting the donor to the egg retrieval, we help guide the intended parents through the whole process. Although we help make the arrangements, the legal , psychological or genetic screening of the donors and the medical aspects of the treatment cycles are performed by appropriate independent outside parties,” say Perchik.

“Once the match has been established between the donor and the intended parent, the medical team takes over, but we remain available to help with logistics and facilitate communication with the intended parents.”

“Our agency fee includes psychological screening and genetic counseling, as well as health insurance for the donor,” explains Perchik. “If a pregnancy does not occur and a couple desires a new donor, we offer one free rematch with no additional agency fee. If a third match (second rematch) is necessary there is a small administration fee. We believe that Beverly Hills Egg Donation (BHED) is the only agency that offers a free rematch.”

Although many couples make all the arrangements via phone and internet, “we are happy to meet with intended parents to try to de-mystify the process,” says Perchik. “It does not matter if the couple contacts the doctors first, or the surrogacy agency, or the egg donor agency. We are all partners in the process. If desired, we help couples find excellent doctors to work with. We will, upon request, facilitate meetings with the donors if requested by the recipients. They could be in person, or on Skype, with one of our staff in attendance.”

For more information visit The Beverly Hills Egg Donation website at: www.bhed.com, or call: (310) 601-3132.

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THE NEEW WEST ADDITION TO BRAVO’S “THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT” JEREM MIA IAH BRENTT ON STRUGGLING WITH SEXUALITY, MOVING TO LOS AN NG GELES AND FINDING TRUE PASSION .

BY MA ARK ARIEL Hire ed d, fired and re-hired, interior designer Jeremiah Brent, the newest addition n tto Bravo TV’s wildly popular “The Rachel Zoe Project,” is quickly becomiing g the reality series’ breakout star.

Originally joining “Team Zoe” with intentions of becoming a junior fashion sstylist, Brent ended up completely furnishing and decorating Zoe’s new w 7000 square foot home in two short weeks. In an absolutely shocking turn of events, Brent was laid off from the company as a fashion shockin stylist t li t (f (fans were devastated) however was rehired shortly after to head up Zoe’s new Home Design Authority.

An artist from an early age, Brent taught himself how to both design and build furniture. What began as a simple hobby, quickly proved to be a strong and successful career path. In an interview with THE FIGHT Brent talks about struggling with his sexuality, moving to Los Angeles and The Rachel Zoe Project.

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Cover photo: t-shirt AMERICAN APPAREL, pants LEVI’S SELECT. Previous page: sweater ALL SAINTS, jeans APC. This page right: striped t-shirt ALL SAINTS, jeans APC. This page bottom right: turtleneck sweater ZARA

I can honestly say that Modesto was a really wonderful place to grow up. Tree lined streets, baseball leagues, paper routes, family reunions, and a real sense of community. I look back with nothing but love for where I grew up. I always knew that I would grow out of Modesto but I can honestly say that it was a beautiful and safe place to call home What was the coming out process like for you?

Well, to use the word “tumultuous” would be an understatement. I struggled with the understanding of my sexuality for years.

I had built this entire idea of what my life was supposed to look like, which of course included kids and a wife. When I actually fell in love with a man for the first time, everything shifted. I felt... authentic, for the first time in my entire life. I had spent so many years trying to be different versions of myself, versions I thought would make other people happy - that I lost myself entirely. The battle for me was never about telling other people, it was about admitting it to myself. Slowly I began to allow it to become a part of my life. The irony is that the minute I allowed myself to BE myself, my entire life changed in the most positive ways. I was open to giving love, and receiving it, which changes everything. My three best girlfriends showed me unconditional love. They were the first people to really say... we see you and love you. When I finally told my parents, they met me with open arms, which I will never take for granted and I felt like I was free... something I probably will never be able to articulate in words. But it’s a feeling everyone... teenager, adult, whomever is struggling with sexuality - deserves to feel. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to stand up tall and be who you are in the face of a society that doesn’t understand something completely. It’s our job to be there for people who need someone to stand up for them.

What motivated you to move to Los Angeles?

I don’t know if I’ll ever really know what made me make the decision to move to L.A. It was this little voice in my head saying to take this chance, take this step. My head told me I’m 19, I need to stay up north and be responsible, but my heart told me to go and grow. So I did and I’ll never ignore that voice again. L.A. offered me the freedom to grow and experience life from a fresh new perspective. I didn’t know anybody in Los Angeles. It was the fresh start to my life that I had needed and didn’t even know.

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an you tell us a little about your background?

I grew up in Modesto, a small town in northern California with my parents and younger sister. I ended up going to college in San Francisco and then made the decision to move to Los Angeles when I was 19. I had a U-haul of furniture and less than 1000 dollars to my name. After bouncing around to various jobs, I decided, on a whim, to try and build some furniture. I had a really hard time finding pieces I wanted. I went to Toys R Us and bought 200 dollars worth of transformers and from them, taught myself how things moved and collapsed. That was my furniture building school. What started as a hobby turned into a business, then eventually evolved into entire interiors. I ended up having my own design business for a number of years before I was offered the chance to come work for Rachel Zoe ... an opportunity I couldn’t imagine turning down.

“I had spent so many years trying to be different versions of myself, versions I thought would make other people happy, that I lost myself entirely. The battle for me was never about telling other people, it was about admitting it to myself.”

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“I get emails from young kids telling me that they can see a part of themselves in my life ... that - for me - is what it’s all about.

We have the opportunity as ‘out’ individuals to show kids and the world that you can live your truth, and be loved.”

When did you realize that interior design was your calling in life?

I think I had always been interested in interior design. Growing up my parents used to take my sister and I to different open houses. We were always doing projects around the house. We were really fortunate to grow up in a really creative household. Both my sister and I were raised to truly appreciate all types of art. Interior design always fascinated me because it was art that you lived your life in. There is something very poetic about that quality to me.

How have things changed for you, professionally and personally, after joining The Rachel Zoe Project?

This last season of The Rachel Zoe project was really about growth. Rachel’s family was changing as well as her brand. I came to work for Rachel at a time where I had lost my passion for interior design. I spent so much time worrying about what I didn’t know that I failed to realize what I did, and what I had accomplished already in my life. Rachel taught me to live your life through passion. She showed me that your work should/ could fuel your soul. I grew up a lot this last year. I found my voice in a lot of ways both creatively and personally. Most importantly I found my passion for design and furniture again.

One of the most amazing parts of this whole experience for me has been the people who tune in to watch the show.

It takes a lot to put yourself out there for the world but everyone has been so beautiful and kind and generous. I get emails from young kids telling me that they can see a part of themselves in my life or experiences I have had... that for me is what it’s all about. We have the opportunity as “out” individuals to show kids and the world that you can live your truth, and be loved.

Are there any “home design rules” you tend to follow?

I believe in Coco Chanel’s rule for dressing an outfit - and that’s always take one thing off. I always encourage people to edit, edit, edit. If it’s not beautiful or functional... get rid of it. Aside from that - take risks. Think outside of the box.

And finally, the fans want to know - what is your relationship status?

I am single. I was actually in a three-year relationship that ended about a year ago. As you can imagine, I have been in a serious relationship with my work for the last year and a half... Now if I could just figure out how to get work to cuddle.

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BREAKING THE SILENCE

I

LGBT VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARE FREQUENTLY RE-VICTIMIZED BY A SYSTEM THAT HAS BEEN SET UP TO PROTECT HETEROSEXUAL VICTIMS

ncidents of LGBT domestic violence have risen to almost equal the number of those in the heterosexual community, but the availability of qualified services is far from adequate. Mainstream services are typically “heterosexist,” says Susan Holt, coordinator of the domestic violence unit at the Los Angeles Gay Lesbian Center (LAGLC).

“LGBT victims of domestic violence are frequently re-victimized by a system that has been set up to protect heterosexual victims,” says Holt.

LAGLC is one of three LGBT specific domestic violence service providers nationwide.

All the needs of domestic violence survivors are handled at LAGLC, including legal assistance through the Center’s Domestic Violence Legal Advocacy Project.

The LAPD defines domestic violence based on the California Penal Code section 273.5 (a) as: “Any person who willfully inflicts upon his or her spouse, or any person who willfully inflicts upon any person with whom he or she is cohabiting, or any person who willfully inflicts upon any person who is the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition.”

Domestic violence also applies to people who are dating, Holt said, and the words “Intimate Partner” need to replace the words “spouse,” “cohabitant” and “domestic” to avoid confusion and be more inclusive.

According to a report released last year by The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) LGBT survivors of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) encounter a lack of access to safety and support when they experience violence.

In 2010, 44.6% of LGBT survivors were turned away from shelter, and 54.4% of those who sought a restraining order were denied. Only 7.1% of LGBT survivors called police for assistance in 2010, a drop from 21.7% in 2009.

BY F. E. CORNEJO

The majority of LGBT people avoid the issue for fear of invoking increased discrimination from the mainstream.

The NCAVP documented six IPV/domestic violence related murders in 2010, equal to the number in 2009. At the time the report was released the NCAVP had already documented seven murders for 2011.

The actual number of IPV/domestic violence related murders may never be known, says Holt, “because of the way that homicides are defined by law enforcement involving two people of the same gender.”

The California Penal Code also states that domestic violence includes, but is not limited to hitting or burning, rape or incest, threatening, insulting or harassing and poor physical or emotional care.

“Domestic violence is not necessarily about certain abusive behavior. Domestic violence is more about a pattern of power and control of one person over the other,” explains Holt.

“The abuser doesn’t have to use physical violence to gain control, abusers often threaten to expose HIV status and sexual orientation to exert control.”

Despite the escalation in severity and number of IPV cases, the majority of LGBT people avoid the issue for fear of invoking increased discrimination from the mainstream.

“LGBT domestic violence occurs within the context of societal [LGBT-phobias],” says Holt, “and, as long as these exist, LGBT domestic violence will be a civil rights issue for our community, as well as a health, mental health, criminal justice, and public safety issue...

Break the silence and be part of the solution.”

For more information about the LA Gay & Lesbian Center’s domestic violence services and programs visit www.laglc.org.

THEFIGHT

26

THE

ENVIRONMENT

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The world needs clean energy to thrive, solar energy is the solution olar power systems include several components working

together to convert the sun’s energy into electrical power that can be connected to a building’s standard electrical infrastructure and the utility grid. Switching to solar energy lets you power your home and cut your carbon emissions.

Solar powering your home is not only good for the environment - it also lowers your utility bills.

“A typical solar installation for a private home is very short, within a week,” says Isaac Marin, founder of ADR Solar Solutions.

“One of the many advantages regarding solar installation is that there are no moving parts, it seamlessly collects energy without a need for maintenance.

The only thing that is required typically is that when needed that you hose the panels down when you notice a collection of dust, dirt or debris.

“The cost,” explains Marin, “depends on how much energy you use and how much you want to offset. It is much more affordable then people assume, that is why it is important to get an expert estimate. It’s not about how big or small you house is - it’s how much energy your household is using, and how much of that usage you want your Solar System to take care of,” says Marin.

“If you want to go down to zero electricity bill, that would be the highest installation cost, we would be able to tell you how many panels it would take to generate that need, tell you how much it would cost and tell you how much you will get back in the form of a rebate check from the utility provider and your 30% federal credit, these two incentives combined typically pay for half of the installation cost,” reveals Marin. “The return on investment is typically 5-7 years and you get to increase the equity of your house by the full cost - even though you pay only half of that (with your incentives), you pay no additional property taxes on the increased equity with your solar installation.”

Does one still need “regular electricity” when installing solar panels?

“Solar Energy is ‘regular electricity,’” says Marin, “however harnessed by a completely green source - the sun. You will still be with your electricity company and your solar installation will be feeding their grid. Your electricity company acknowledges how much energy your system is providing the grid system and you get billed the difference of what you are providing and what you are using. If you built a system that was engineered to provide all your electricity needs then you could assume that your solar system would pro-

THEFIGHT

28

vide this to you. Many people have systems that take care of 80% of their electricity needs, leaving them with a very small electricity bill from the utility provider. It is up to the desire of the customers and the variables of the house that will determine how much energy the Solar system will generate and how much electricity you will still have to purchase (if any) from the utility provider.”

“Solar Energy for the household is usually the most profound thing a person can do to have a positive impact on the environment,” says Marin.

You are replacing or offsetting the need to use polluting types of energy, such as oil, coal, nuclear, etc. Reducing dramatically the carbon footprint of your family. Just think about it, if every house had solar energy we would live in a much healthier world, where we could radically effect the climate change and secure our place in the world and that of our children’s. We cannot ignore the fact that the world needs clean energy to thrive, solar energy is the best solution there is to provide that.

Simply put, it works.”

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hen you happen to be left out of a dominant majority group, if you’re a feminist, gay, transgender, disabled, a person of color, an atheist or another religious minority, you really can’t help but notice how many unreasonable things are expected of you. It comes with a countless array of indignities that hardly anyone in the majority would ever have to deal with, let alone on a daily basis. And even when they play a part in perpetuating these insults, most of them don’t realize that it’s happening, because they have the luxury of not being impacted by these things and thus not having to think about them.

I’ve started calling this the “minority burden,” because that’s the best way I can think to describe it. It’s the totality of all the thoughtless and inconsiderate attitudes people are subjected to just for being different. Like when we’re expected to laugh at jokes at our expense, and be okay with it when people call things “gay,” or say someone is a “fag” or a “tranny.” If we point out why this is actually insulting, they tell us this couldn’t possibly be offensive because they’ve decided that it isn’t, and if they didn’t intend for it to be offensive, then no one can ever take exception to it. Any harm that it might do, and any dangerous attitudes that it might promote, are instantly mitigated by the power of their good intentions.

Or they’ll tell us they have a friend who’s gay, or trans, or

W

be taken as representative of whatever group we’re a part of, and as a result, we always have to think about how our actions will reflect on that group.

Other people never need to concern themselves with this, but we’re the ones who will come to mind when they think about gay people, or atheists, or women - so we always have to be on our best behavior! It turns our lives into a constant campaign of public relations and image management that pervades every aspect of our existence. And as long as people see us in this way, even our own group will tell us, “You’re making us look bad!” As if we’re the ones who are responsible for people’s faulty generalizations.

But what’s really hurtful is when we’re expected to accommodate people’s prejudice against us, as if this is somehow understandable. People try to justify this by telling us “Well, that’s just how it is”, like their own lack of concern is meant to explain why nothing can be done about it. It’s easy to say that when you’re not the one who has to live with it.

They’ll tell us that parents just don’t want gay scout leaders out in the woods with their kids, and we’re expected to be okay with people thinking we might rape their children. They say we shouldn’t have a problem with companies making donations to anti-gay politicians, because they were only thinking of their business interests - as if this ceases to be a problem because they consciously chose to ignore it. We’re expected to just deal with not being allowed to bring our partner to family events when everyone else can, because some of them might be uncomfortable.

We shouldn’t always have to be the better person.

We shouldn’t have to quietly endure an endless barrage of contempt for the sake of ensuring that people are comfortable in their prejudice. black, or a woman, and they said it’s okay to use language like that - and of course they’d rather listen to the people who would give their approval to this than the people who are explaining why it’s objectionable. Or maybe they’ll excuse it by saying there are jokes about straight people and white people too, as if that’s the same thing as making fun of people who are actually ridiculed and disrespected in society. Or they might just feel like telling us we’re being “oversensitive” for taking issue with this, so nobody will take us seriously and they don’t have to listen to anything we say. It’s a great way for them to foist responsibility onto us for their own willful disregard.

They expect us to ignore all the so-called “little things” and just let it go. What are the little things? Well, it’s an elastic definition that encompasses anything they don’t personally care about. Any widespread social issue can be broken down into smaller pieces which are then regarded as isolated incidents, each of them too trivial to bother with. Never mind the fact that all of these “little things” can be part of a big problem. We’re supposed to act like none of it ever means anything.

Or how about when we’re always required to act in such a way as to avoid aligning with any stereotypes people have? If you’re gay, you shouldn’t look too gay, or you’re just reinforcing the stereotype! If you’re a woman, you can’t be emotional, or you’re just confirming the stereotype! Apparently we have to be worried about this, but other people don’t. We’re expected to live up to a separate standard from everyone else, and we’re not allowed to do the things that they can do without running afoul of someone’s stereotypes. Why? Because we’re always going to

We’re expected to respect people’s opinions that our marriages aren’t legitimate, like it’s just a matter of personal preference that requires no explanation. We’re expected to be understanding when people don’t even respect us enough to use our names.

And as always, we can’t get angry about this even when we should be, because that would scare people away. And we don’t want to look bad!

Taken together, all of this reckless distortion functions as a way of coercing minorities to participate in their own marginalization. People are free to disrespect us as much as they want, and we have to play along, or else it’ll be even worse for us. There is no option here that would allow us to stand up for ourselves. The only choice it leaves open is never doing anything.

This isn’t something we should be expected to tolerate. We shouldn’t always have to be the better person. We shouldn’t have to quietly endure an endless barrage of contempt for the sake of ensuring that people are comfortable in their prejudice. We need to stop enabling this, and stop playing along. And if you’re someone who’s been perpetuating these attitudes, and practically all of us are in some way or another, this needs to end. Nobody deserves to be silenced like this. And when you stop talking over them and start actually listening, you’ll find it’s not that hard to respect people.

Read more commentary by ZINNIA JONES at: www.zinniajones.com/blog

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GROUP SUPPORT

M

y name is Dennis Bogorad. I am a veteran television producer in Los Angeles specializing in bring name brands to TV. I grew up in Detroit. I am in my early 60s.

I am a graduate Wayne State University.

I met my first life partner, Ron Winokur, in Detroit in 1973. I remember seeing him on my first day in high school... my heart stopped when I saw him. He didn’t notice me as he was a senior and I was freshman, but we got together 12 years later. We were inseparable once we united. We moved to Los Angeles in 1978.

In 2003, Ron and I were both diagnosed with prostate cancer, just three months apart. I had surgery, my prostate was removed, and I have no detectable cancer. Sadly, however, Ron’s prostate cancer was too aggressive and surgery was not an option. His cancer had already spread beyond the prostate capsule.

I lost Ron to this very ugly disease in 2006. While dealing with both of our cancers I could not find a support group for gay men in Los Angeles. In fact when I thought I had found a gay friendly group I was told if I came to the group and identified myself as gay I would be “beaten up.” I was shocked. I did attend a few straight prostate cancer support groups but I found the men not very understanding of what it meant to be gay.

So I decided to establish a prostate cancer support group exclusively for gay men here in Los Angeles. I started from ground zero and now work under the banner of The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, Malecare, and The Cancer Support Community.

Since starting we’ve had 32 men join our group, with an ongoing core of ten guys who attend all our meetings held twice a month.

The purpose of our group is to bring gay men with prostate cancer out of isolation and to give each other support. Our guys are all in different phases of prostate cancer. Our members range in age from 45 to 81. Some are newly diagnosed, others are undergoing treatment, and some are long-term survivors.

Our group deals with a list of gay issues that go beyond the disease. We discuss treatment options, and the stress and fears of having prostate cancer, complete with the permanent side effects such as ED, shrinkage, and no visual ejaculation. We also talk about trying to attempt sex after cancer. It’s amazing how many guys suffer in silence over the issues of sexual dysfunction and the damage to a gay man’s self esteem following prostate cancer treatment.

DENNIS BOGORAD, FOUNDER OF THE FIRST PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP EXCLUSIVELY FOR GAY MEN, ON DEALING WITH LOSS, SELF-ESTEEM AND SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION

I know from firsthand experience the isolation of being a gay man with prostate cancer.

This is why this group is vital to gay men diagnosed with the disease For gay men there are distinct emotional and sexual issues that are not addressed or thought about by the straight community, including physicians. Many gay men feel reluctant or unwilling to discuss their sex lives and feelings in front of straight men. I know from firsthand experience the isolation of being a gay man with prostate cancer. This is why this group is vital to gay men diagnosed with the disease.

THEFIGHT

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PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP FOR GAY MEN. Meets twice monthly at the LA Gay & Lesbian Center. A safe and caring place to meet other gay men with similar experiences and talk openly about issues such as: treatment options, sex, fears and more. Attendance is free.

RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org, or call 323-860-7340.

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THE

CALENDAR

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4 TREVOR LIVE 2011 The Hollywood Palladium, 6215 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles. Sunday, 7pm.

More info: www.thetrevorproject.org/trevorlive An evening of irreverent comedy, music and awards in support of the life-saving work of the trevor project, a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ Youth. Friday, December 16

GROUPS COMPILED BY F.E. CORNEJO

Join the princes of pasadena to raise some spirits and some funds for a local chapter of the hrc.

Meet lgbt friends and allies from the san gabriel valley and los angeles.

NEW YEAR’S EVE IN GAY LOS ANGELES There are a host of parties and events taking place in Los Angeles And Palm Springs. Check out the following site for details. www.gayla4u. com/events/new-years-eve.shtml

PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center.

RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call 323-860-7340 GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org

A single gay man’s struggle to adopt a three-year old orphan from uganda, against all odds.

LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers www.laprimetimers.org

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

Featuring grammy award winner MELISSA MANCHESTER.

LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB http://www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4 LESLIE JORDAN: STORIES I CAN’T TELL MAMA Celebration Theatre, 7051 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angles. Previews scheduled to start January 4th. More info: 323-957-1884 or www.celebrationtheatre.com.

Emmy award winner LESLIE JORDAN takes over celebration theatre’s main stage in a world premiere of hilarious tales about growing up in the south, his very hysterical observations and celebrity secrets.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14 TUESDAY, DECEMBER, 20 SPARKLES AND SPIRITS: HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN Carmine’s Holy Water Room Lounge, 424 S. Fair Oaks Ave, South Pasadena. Tuesday, 7pm. More info: theprincesofpasadena@ gmail.com.

GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8pm. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo.com or www.facebook.com/ gaysalsanight

POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11am. Locations vary.

Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org.

WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Little Victory Theatre, 3326 W. Victory Blvd, Burbank. Friday/saturday, 8pm. Sunday, 4pm. More info: 818-841-5422 or www. thevictorytheatrecenter.Org. $25-$34

NAUGHTY AND NICE: GAY MEN’S CHORUS LOS ANGELES Alex Theatre, 216 N. Brand Blvd, Glendale.

Saturday, 8pm. Sunday, 3pm. More info: www.gmcla.org.

THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30pm. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. 323-650-1503

GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of everymonth,6-10pm The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038.

1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org

10-15 Minute plays, by several playwrights with an LGBT twist.

Walking tours in the city of angels. Downtown LA houses a rich LGBT history, from the gay friendly native americans who first settled the land to LA’s first gay porn theatre that opened in the 1800’s.

CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31

CHRISTMASTIME IS QUEER 4 Celebration Theatre, 7051 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angles. Friday/Saturday, 8pm.

Sunday, 3pm. More info: 323-957-1884 or www.celebrationtheatre.Com. $20

DOWNTOWN GAY LA WALKING TOUR Downtown Los Angeles. Saturday 17, 11am-1:30pm. More info: www.outandabout-tours.com . $45

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORKwww.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info

DIONNE WARWICK IN CONCERT Lewis Family Playhouse, 12505 Cultural Center Drive, Rancho Cucamonga. Saturday, 8pm. More info: www.lewisfamilyplayhouse. com. $65 International music legend and lgbt icon, DIONNE WARWICK in a special one-night only performance.

LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30pm. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call 323-860-7302 M-F between 6-9pm. Topicdriven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality.

MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8pm. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call 323-860-7302.

Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends.

LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call 323-860-7302, M-F between 6-9pm POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9pm. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles.

If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call 323-860-7321.

The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org.

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TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8pm. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call 323860-7302 M-F between 6-9pm.

Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences.

GET CENTERED Meditation Class, Every Saturday, 1011am, $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call 323-860-7300 SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles.

For more information, call 323-860-7359.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call 323-860-5806.

MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6pm. Apla, 3550 wilshire blvd, suite 300, los angeles. More info: donta morrison, tel: 213.201.1561 For young gay men of color -- ages 18 thru 24 -- looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.”

SUPPORT FOR HIV-POSITIVE WOMEN Second and fourth wednesdays, 7pm. The david geffen center, 611 south kingsley drive, los angeles. More info: call women at risk at 310-204-1046.

SOCAL SOCIAL CLUB: For more info: www.Socalsocialclub.Com Southern california’s social & business network for lgbt professionals

12 STEP GROUPS All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call 323860-7302 M-F between 6-9pm.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.

CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m.

DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.

MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m.

Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.

SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m.

Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.

Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m.

Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m.

Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m.

WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m.

SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY http://www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER http://www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL http://www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams www.lapl8ball.com GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www.greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking angeles.sierraclub.org

CHEER LA Cheerleading www.cheerla.org LA ROWING www.larowing.org DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB www.gaysoccer.com Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game.

LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams www.wh2o.org

WORSHIP METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org 4953 Franklin Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90027 BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org 6090 West Pico Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90035 KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org 1200 North La Brea Avenue West Hollywood, CA 90038 FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540 South Commonwealth Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90020 HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org 6817 Franklin Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org

4201 West Sunset Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org 817 West 34th St Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org 126 South Avenue 64 Los Angeles, CA 90042 HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net 6720 Melrose Ave Los Angeles, CA 90038 WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org 7350 W Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org 4607 Prospect Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org 3300 Wilshire Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org 11031 Camarillo St. North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com 11050 Hartsook Street North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org 958 Lincoln Boulevard Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net 725 California Avenue Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com 916 N. Formosa Ave. West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org 8634 Holloway Drive West Hollywood, California 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com 5312 Comercio Way Woodland Hills, CA 91364

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THE

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Assure your partners financial security and emotional well being by advance planning your living trust and/or final arrangements with our assistance and help create a GLBT memorial site in So Cal. Jenny & Ana: 562-477-9034

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Unique specialty gift items THEM

is an audio recording of a performance piece by Chris Cochrane, Dennis Cooper and Ishmael Houston-Jones, originally presented at PS122 in the East Village in New York City. Recently revived by its creators, it has been performed in the U.S. and Europe to great acclaim.

“In 1985, as many of our friends and colleagues were dying of HIV/AIDS-still a new phenomenon at the time - we created a performance piece investigating how men interact with men,” explains cocreator Chris Cochrane. “THEM combined Ishmael’s dancing, Dennis’ words, and my music into a work of bracing, collaborative art.

The lives of our friends and community - the loss of their lives-grew to became part of the piece. The infamous final scene, in which Ishmael dances with a dead goat, became a symbol of what we were all going through: grappling and fighting with death every day.”

The CD is comprised of the music and narration of THEM. Cochrane’s music is raw and edgy, the perfect sonic description of the improvised, entangled struggle of bodies in this historic performance piece. Death, decay, loss and innocence all take turns in this disturbing yet poetic masterpiece.

Cochrane co-produced this CD with Kato Hideki. The CD unfolds in “real time,” following the time frame and structure of the performance piece. Dennis Cooper reads his text.

Chris Cochrane is a guitarist, singer, songwriter, improvisator and producer. He has performed regularly in bands and improvised with hundreds of artista. He has composed music for John Jasperse, Nayland Blake, Jennifer Monson, Circus Amok, and others.

Dennis Cooper is an American novelist, poet, critic, editor and performance artist. D Cooper’s novels include Closer, Frisk, Try, and Guide. His novel The Marbled Swarm will be published this month.

Ishmael Houston-Jones is a performer, choreographer and writer of fiction and essays, and a curator of dance and performance. He has lived and worked in New York City since the early 1980s.

THEM can be purchased on iTunes and Amazon.

THEFIGHT

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THE

FINAL FIGHT

HARVEY MILK, assassinated 33 years ago in San Francisco, profoundly influenced gay and lesbian politics

A

BY WILL KOHLER

t 11am, on a beautiful Monday morning, on November 27, 1978, San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk were shot and killed in cold blood by disgruntled former Supervisor Dan White.

San Francisco ground to a halt. Many offices and businesses closed. People wept openly in the streets. Strangers hugged each other, trying to offer comfort. But there was no comfort. That was 32 years ago, and there is still no comfort today.

But Harvey Milk left us a legacy. He profoundly influenced gay and lesbian politics, and was a champion of human rights. Milk once said, “... you’ve got to keep electing gay people...to know there is better hope for tomorrow. Not only for gays, but for blacks, Asians, the disabled, our senior citizens and us. Without hope, we give up. I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without it life is not worth living. You and you and you have got to see that the promise does not fade.”

Harvey’s martyrdom is a painful reminder of the length and difficulty of the journey to freedom.

Harvey Milk a true LGBT hero and legend. His actions and words must never be forgotten. To this day we must listen to them, learn from them and follow them.

This is Harvey’s legacy to us.

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“ Like every other group,

we must be judged by our leaders and by those who are themselves gay, those who are visible.

For invisible, we remain in limbo...” “... You see there is a major differenceand it remains a vital difference-between a friend and a gay person, a friend in office and a gay person in office. Gay people have been slandered nationwide. We’ve been tarred and we’ve been brushed with the picture of pornography. In Dade County, we were accused of child molestation. It’s not enough anymore just to have friends represent us. No matter how good that friend may be.

The black community made up its mind to that a long time ago. That the myths against blacks can only be dispelled by electing black leaders, so the black community could be judged by the leaders and not by the myths or black criminals.

The Spanish community must not be judged by Latin criminals or myths. The Asian community must not be judged by Asian criminals or myths.

The Italian community should not be judged by the mafia myths. And the time has come when the gay community must not be judged by our criminals and myths.

Like every other group, we must be judged by our leaders and by those who are themselves gay, those who are visible. For invisible, we remain in limbo-a myth, a person with no parents, no brothers, no sisters, no friends who are straight, no important positions in employment. A tenth of a nation supposedly composed of stereotypes and would-be seducers of children-and no offense meant to the stereotypes. But today, the black community is not judged by its friends, but by its black legislators and leaders. And we must give people the chance to judge us by our leaders and legislators. A gay person in office can set a tone, can command respect not only from the larger community, but from the young people in our own community who need both examples and hope...”

Will Kohler, owner and creator of Back2Stonewall.com is one of the country’s leading experts on LGBT History, Media and Popular Culture.

For more info visit: www.back2stonewall.com

22741 Ventura Blvd., Woodland Hills, CA 91364