EDI TIO N2
a zine by Boston LGBTQ+ API youth Photograph by Zoe Jansen (she/her)
The Yellow Gaze zine highlights Queers and Trans Asian & Pacific Islanders from the Greater Boston Area (hence, the yellow gays tehe). Our goal is to highlight this community and celebrate their voices and experiences. Through their numerous forms of artwork, readers can uncover stories about race, gender, sexuality, and societal norms. Our zine serves as a canvas for their unapologetic expression, shedding light on the beauty, struggle, and resilience that shape the lives of Queer API folks within this community. Thank you for taking part in experiencing The Yellow Gaze and shining a light on this beautifully diverse, underrepresented community.
Photograph by Jackie Chan (she/they)
With pride, MAP For Health
Artwork by Zayden Jansen (they/them)
Growing Up Trans
Artwork by Anonymous
strength i am so hungry but i am so used to it and maybe even feel a little bit of comfort in my hunger. i am comforted by my stomach screaming at me to eat because my mind is feeling strong enough to convince myself otherwise and resist. strong enough to resist temptation, strong enough to have the power to perform such a physically and mentally consuming task. strong mind, strong body, i am strong right? strong decline was how my doctors described my decrease in weight percentile when i went in for my annual checkup because i wasnt eating and was becoming so skinny that i was falling off the range i was always in. but i was so happy to hear my hard work has been paying off but i was trying to convince my doctor that when the “bigboned” girl became skinny, it was because something got fixed inside me and now i am not hungry when in reality i am so hungry but how am i supposed to eat when every time i take a spoonful of my blueberry yogurt, i cry because i only feel pretty when im hungry? and so i am always hungry bc i want to feel pretty bc the boy next door who is super sweet told me to take off my jeans and when i did and walked over, he asked me why my stomach bounced around like that because he thought asians were supposed to be small and i couldnt help but say nothing. he seemed visually disturbed but i shouldve been able to suck in a little tighter and it's my fault bc i should not have eaten so much and my mind should have been stronger.
Poem by Al Tsai (they/she)
Honey Girls and Golden Boys As I climb closer and closer to eighteen, I find myself reflecting on my past In particular, with Pride month in full blast Thoughts of how my sexuality presented in the past teem; An innocent five year old, Drawn to the elegant waves and endless intelligence of Emma Watson as Hermione Granger Giggly whenever Daniel Radcliffe appeared onscreen as Harry Potter with his endearing attitude, a heart-breakingly handsome jawline Ba-bump, goes my heart, ba-bump, ba-bump Poem by Jamie Tsitlenko (he/they) Artwork by Jessica Chook (she/her)
A naive seven year old, Inexplicably enchanted by the visages of both Aragorn and Arwen Cupid aiming a bow, arrow, and sword at my heart when I admired Legolas, long locks flowing in a way that only happens in faux battle, steely eyes making me feel like the only person in the world Oh! He aims again, Galadriel swiftly making her way into my dreams, both night and day Oh, why must so many people make my heart sway?
A curious nine year old, Heart going wild over people both fictional and real: the honey-sweet girl in class with long dirty blonde hair and the brownest, deepest eyes; the boy on the bus with a messy head of hair, skinny rimmed glasses, and a heart of gold. My heart is jumbled as I skip on through math class in anticipation of recess adventuring, books with sassy main characters, swords, and magic more eye catching than other people Except for them, the honey girl and golden boy. An anxious eleven year old, Awaiting middle school and daydreaming still of golden boys; observations of honey girls have stilled to the subconscious, noted as jealousy or the longing for friendship. Only in many years would I accept that I can love all: honey girls, golden boys golden girls, honey boys Those in the twilight and in the sunset Those more tart like a berry My heart is full, and always growing.
thank you to our contributors. With Pride, MAP For Health
NOV 2023