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Volume 27 Number 1 20 June 2013 | Thursday
Lola Patola
Itanong kay
MGA FULUNG-VULUNGAN NG NAGJIJISANG
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ELKUM VAK MAH AFOOOWS EN haller haller to mah new afows!!! Sooowww how’s yer summer ebribadi? Molomong majinet jackson ang inyong summer. Sufeeeer jinit! Di kinaya ng bentilador namen sa haus kaya furo kami schwim schwim ni Lolo Upo niyo sa beach jan sa tabi-tabi. Pero u know wat? Lalong juminit ang fanahon nung navalitaan koh na may pagtaaz na nomon ng twishun pee sa mga steyt u! KKLK!!! Kaya heto, yer fierce super lowlah is vakkk! It’s taym to meyk fight por mah beloved afows once agen! Hong seksi seksi ko sa costume koh noh?! Harharr! Heniwey, hir are da sumvong I made zagaf recently (mula nung nagzuot me ng red cape. Chot!):
SUPER KALURKEY SUMVONG #1: STRIKE 3, LEX LUTHOR! Last sem hangover!! May nagzumvong na jisa kong afow tungkol sa kanyang froppy last sem na farang Lex Luthor ang peg. Terror kung terror!!! Saveh ni afow, nakaka-three strikes na daw si froppy sa kaniley. Unang instance daw, may exam siley kasabay yung pag-vwisita ni Kikiam Dispenser za YuFiEm. Sovrang aral daw ginawa ni afow and her prends and classmates, tafos vooom! Nalaman na lang nila nung supposed oras ng exam na cancelled daw ‘yung exam dat day, at ayun si froppy, audience na daw sa talk ni Kikiam. Mygah. Next nomon, sumvong ni afow, may field trip daw dapat sila. But becoz da class consisted op isang block and oder students prom oder courses, ‘yung taga-ivang course e nagkaconflict sa sched sa field trip. Dey chose not to go to da pild trip daw, at humiling kay froppy na payagan silang gumawa ng ivah. BUT NOOO. Heartless ang peg ni Froppy, ang tagal daw niyang basahin at firmahan ‘yung mga ineffortan mizmo ni afow en her coursemates, en di man lang daw nagvigay ng help si froppy za kanila, ni di nga raw sinagot mga queztions nila. Sad. But huweit! Ders moar! Saveh ni afow, farang di naman daw nag-turo si froppy sa kanila, tapos ‘yung finagjirapan daw nila na final project, kinomentan daw ni froppy ng
“incredibly sloppy.” Ang saket saket nu’n. Tafos heto pah, medyo mean si froppy! InoOP ‘yung mga taga-oder courses!!! Saveh vah naman daw ni froppy tungkol sa jisang exam nila, “Exam is basically Handthrow Juan...” jisang suvjekk na tinake nung block sa klaseng iyon earlier at hindi tineyk ng mga taga-oder courses ever. Hong unferr lung!!! Va’t ka nomon gonyon froppy. Sa pagkakaalam koh, maraming afows ko na ren ang dumaan za kanya at BV din after. Kalurkeeeeeeee.
SUPER KALURKEY SUMVONG #2: YOU’RE MY KRYPTONITE, ENROLLMENT Grabety, nakakalurkey na naman daw ang enrollment! Layk, poreber naman nakakawindung ang enrollment de vaaahh! But huweit! Sovrang nkklk daw ang enrollment dis June, na fwede na siyang i-dub as “pinakaworse enrollment evur!” Omg devah!! Sovrang gulow daw ng enrollment dis taym, lalo na za CheverlooAnekSung! Sumvong ng jisa kong afow, gurabeeey daw ang kaguluhan za skedyul ng leyt registreyshun. ‘Yung mga naka-skedyul za unang araw ng leyt reg, wiz natafos dat day at finavalik da next day, kung kelan may iba pang afows ko na skedyuld magleyt reg. So ayun, warla warla mga utaws dahil di nila malaman kung sino ang dafat mag-enroll za araw na ‘yun. KALOKA!!! May nag-report sa lowlah mo, halos pipty perzent ng finavalik at pipty perzent ng skeydyuld fara mag-leyt reg nu’n lomong ang nakafag-enroll. ‘Yung iba, finavalik ulit za ibang day. Wawa naman afows ko!!! Favalik-valik?! Ganown na vah kadali magkaroon ng moneh pamasahe? Der’s sumthing wrong wid the enrollment system huh... Paki-ayos naman powz. Herkey?!
SUPER KALURKEY SUMVONG #3: YOU’RE MY KRYPTONITE, ENROLLMENT (PART TSU!) Di tologo matatafoz ang enrollment blues noh? Kwento sa akin ng jisa kong afow, ilang veses daw winaley ng Opisinang Chaka at Sadista ang kanyang add slot porm! Yung unang veses daw siyang nagsuvmit, complete wid pirma op the frop, dept head and adviser, kinavukazan, wiz daw mahanaf ng Opisinang Chaka at Sadista ang kanyang add slot porm. So ayun, inulit niya ang buong add slot porm process at sinabihan siya na vumalik na lang ulit sa zuzunod na working day. Wen he came vak, ayuun saveh na naman sa kanya, wiz na naman daw siyang add slot porm!! Kalurkeeeyy! Wat’s wrong wid u, OCS*?! Bucket nagsiwaley ang mga imfortant fafelez ng afowz koh! Take note, di lung jisa ang nag-complain abt dis ha. High blood na ko mga ‘te. F na F ko ang rage ng mga afowz ko sa mga kaganafan za vuhay nila sa aangkaYuFiEm-an. Don’t weri, my afows, you are not aloooown, I am hir por yuu. Vasta, be strong my afows, be suuuper loike meee! Let’s meyk baka da evil all around us, huh?! Herkei!?! Herkei. En za inyong mga nang-aafi sa beloved afows ko, tsk tskk ayos ayos din pag may taym. Owkie?! At jan nagtatafoz ang jisa na namang edishun ng Lola Patola!!! Pasukan na nomon!! Enjoy mga afows koh! Mwah mwaaaaahh tsuuupppp!!! XOXO Labyyuuu <3
Isko’t Iska 1
Nararamdaman mo ba ang diumano’y pagturing sa Pilipinas bilang nangungunang ekonomiya sa Asya dahil sa nakamit na 7.8% GDP growth? Baka parang ‘Red Wedding’ din ng episode 9 ng GOT yan. HAHAHA – superhero ng ermita Parang di naman. – *toot*nalangkasidinatalagablockhead, OrCom, CAS Capitalists should be the people to be asked of this. I don’t feel any significant improvement to be quite honest. – Raseac, 2010-33377, College of Pharmacy Hindi gaano. Mararamdaman mo ang katiting na ginhawa sa pagbubukas ng mga negosyo dito sa Pilipinas at sa pagdami ng trabaho, pero hindi naman ganoon katindi ang impact kasi hindi bumababa ang presyo ng mga bilihin, hindi tumataas ang sahod at hindi bumababa ang pamasahe. Pero ika nga nila; “Progress no matter how small is better than no progress at all.” – Madason, 2010-61315, CAS Kung ang pagmamahal mo, hindi ko ramdam, yan pa kaya? :)) – NullSet, 2012-xxxxx, CPH No. The Gross Domestic Product is just a number. The main issue is whether the quality of the lives of the people really improved. Bakit, mapapakain ba ng numero ang mga nagugutom? – Touchy, BA SocSci. OO!!! SOBRA. -.- – shewhoshallnotbenamed Kung pagbabasihan yung mga bagong businesses na nagbubukas dito, and in terms of money exchange, medyo nafefeel coming from that sector (not boasting). Pero yun nga, in terms of quality of living, the changes that are happening are only changes that matter to the upper sector, and do not benefit the majority of the citizens. –Pazuzu Prince of Darkness, 2010-24742, BA Journalism, College of Mass Communication Hindi. Walang pinag-iba. – Ina, 2010-3689, BAPS, CAS Ang saya talaga ng jokes ng PNOY Admin. HAH HAH HAH. – ComeBack, BASS Somehow, Oo. Maraming business na ako na nakikitang lumalaki today, including ours. Dahil dun, lumaki narin ang allowance ko :)) – NALopez, 2010-14484, BSCS, CAS Growth daw? WEHHH. – Chewbacca, 2012-x3x3x, CAS No. Eh ba’t andaming mga gusgusing bata sa lansangan? Sa may OUR na lang eh. Asdfghjkl – aji, 2011-00991, ComSci, CAS :> Meron palang pangununang nagaganap? – G Ay, tumaas pala. Alam ko matagal na yang tumaas at hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong
maramdaman. – IamnotaHappyStudent, 20xxx4xx5, BAPS CAS
2 Kumusta naman ang enrolment mo? Eh di ayun, mabilis. Ang tanging hassle na nakuha ko ay di ko nakita si ka-sparks :))))) – superhero ng ermita Parang mas naging efficient ang enrollment process this sem. Good job! – *toot*nalangkasidinatalagablockhead, OrCom, CAS Mga 8:30 nagstart, reassessed na by 10. And kudos to the fast enrollment system of CP this semester. Yung pagprint lang ng Form 5 yung medyo mabagal, pero it’s actually systematic. (Well, in my opinion...) – Raseac, 2010-33377, College of Pharmacy Parang kanta lang din iyan ng Eraserheads: Walang Nagbago – Madason, 2010-61315, CAS Okay lang. Kahit papaano, mabilis kasi maaga ako dumating. – NullSet, 2012-xxxxx, CPH Haggardo versoza. Kelan naging madali ang – shewhoshallnotbenamed
pa ba enrollment?
Kamangha-mahang maaga ako natapos. It’s either mabilis na yung proseso o natapat sa unang araw yung schedule ng batch. – Ina, 2010-3689, BAPS, CAS enrollment ko? yun masaya. salamat pala kay ateng RVC na nasa computer 10 nung June 5. I owe you one lol. – labanderoNgIHFI Puno ng conflict. – ComeBack, BASS Actually masaya. Ngayon lang ulit ako nakapagenrol na walang in-EPN or in-addslot (4th yr na kasi). Also, nakalimutan ko yung med cert ko sa bahay so nagpabalik-balik ako sa Health Services at sa OSS para makakuha ng bago. May nakilala pa akong bagong BehSci friend dahil doon. – NALopez, 2010-14484, BSCS, CAS Ayos na ayos naman ang aking enrollment, surprising na nakapag-enroll ako sa 1st day at di na kinailangang makipag-agawan sa slots. Nagbunga yung 48 units na nilagay ko sa ESF kahit 15 lang kailangan tas maasikaso yung natapat saking RVC. Kaso feel ko first and last ko na to sa maayos na enrollment. – Doraemon, 2012-xxx77, CAS Okay naman. Hindi naman ako inamag sa paghihintay ng Form 5, at pati ang pila ng EPN, mas mabilis na ang pagusad. – Chewbacca, 2012-x3x3x, CAS Ayun. ‘Yung papers ko sa OCS, parang Ina Kapatid Anak. Kelangan, sinusubaybayan. -__-” – aji, 2011-00991, ComSci, CAS :> Di dapat magtiwala sa CRS. Pag sinabi niyang may slot ka, ‘wag ka na masyadong umasa. – G First time kong naglate reg at sinusumpa ko na HINDING HINDI KO NA ITO UULITIN KAHIT KAILAN. – IamnotaHappyStudent, 20xx-x4xx5, BAPS CAS
OSA DETACHES FBCP | FROM PAGE 03
Assembly. “Because the Freshman Assembly is at the same level as the USC. If you study the student handbook, it says there that they’re not under the USC,” Labor commented. No Backing Down On April 29, the OSA was supposed to conduct an orientation for the OVCs, however, the activity turned into a meeting with the Association of Parents and Counselors (APC), CSC representatives from the Colleges of Arts and Sciences, Nursing, Public Health, and Allied Medical Professions, regarding the MOU. In the meeting, the OSA presented a newlydrafted MOU. Supposedly, anyone who signs the letter shall be part of the OVC and shall be entitled to help with the freshman enrollment and orientation activities. Allegedly, the OVC’s training did not push through due to urgent matters. Issues such as the alleged unpreparedness of the OSA and its new volunteers, the already accomplished training of the new batch of FBCs, and the dental and physical examinations of incoming CAMP freshmen which were held the next day, April 30, were raised. After the members of the APC and OSA staff left the meeting, representatives from the colleges and the FBCP who were present during the meeting moved to draft a Manifesto of Unity,
aiming “to legitimize the existence of the FBCs during the enrolment process for first year students.” The said activity was presided by USC Chairperson Maryliz Zubiri. Demotica later noted that the FBCs together with the CSCs, and not the OVCs, continued to assist the freshmen in this year’s enrollment period. Demotica believed that the OSA failed to get the necessary OVCs. As of press time, however, no dialogues have been held between the OSA and the FBCs as Dr. Labor requested to speak first with Zubiri. Furthermore, Demotica stressed that the only reason they have been “disassociated” from OSA is because they failed to sign the MOU, as Dr. Labor explicitly told them. Demotica also noted that Dr. Labor denied the FBCs’ request to be distinguished from the rest of the OVC members. “The FBC(P) has always been true to its mandate in serving the freshmen. Despite the recent issues, the welfare of the freshmen will always be our topmost priority. Tatak sturdy, dugong FBC,” Demotica said, reasserting the FBCs’ stand. Likewise, Labor claimed that the OSA shall continue to uphold the University Rule, that no freshman shall be allowed to join any fraternity or sorority in their first year. She added that there would be no change in its implementation. *Full transcription of interviews will be posted on the Facebook page of The Manila Collegian.