ISSUE 08/ 11th NOVEMBER 2013 WWW.MANCUNION.COM
Editors: Lauren Arthur, Moya Crockett, Beth Currall, Izzy Dann Ask Izzy
Feature
The school of fame IZZY ask
As Educating Yorkshire quickly becomes one of the most-watched TV documentaries of the year, Hannah McGrory reviews the show that has gripped the nation’s hearts
an earnest attempt to cure all your woes. Tweet any burning issues, genital or otherwise, to @izzydann the past few weeks, Q For I have been seeing an
heart-warming by his delivery of a speech to the entire year group on their final day at school. To see the transformation of a boy frustrated with his inability to communicate develop into someone able to confidently stand up in front of his peers was awe-inspiring, and I’m not ashamed to admit that a tear may have been shed over my laptop screen. Thankfully, I’m pretty sure that I was not alone, and the overwhelmingly positive reaction to Educating Yorkshire could arguably see it placed as one of the most popular documentaries of the year. Did somebody say BAFTA?
Photo: Channel 4
Horoscopes with Mystic Moya
TV LIBRA (24 SEPTEMBER - 23 OCTOBER) Mars rising in Jupiter suggests that you’ll be experiencing feelings of great uncertainty about your future and your purpose on the Earth. Unfortunately, it doesn’t offer any solutions.
are a student; she A You is a professional. You’re both in this relationship for different reasons. For you, it’s financial and emotional support, the latter of which you’re evidently lacking. For her, it’s an appropriate degree of peer envy – her friends covet your liaisons has as they enter another year of their sexually tedious marriages. Carry on while the mindblowing sex is still worth your emotional trauma, then perhaps experiment with a fellow student simpleton for a less painful affair.
astonishingly reminiscent of a classic David Attenborough interaction with a pride of lions – however the pupils of Thornhill were arguably more ferocious. From the firm-butfair head teacher Mr Mitchell, to Bailey, the vivacious year ten with a penchant for inch-thick make-up (quote of the series: “d’ya like me eyebrows? I shaved ‘em all off!”), ‘Educating Yorkshire’ delivers to the viewers an abundance of colourful characters, linked together by a tight-knit school community. While a large portion of the documentary focuses upon the reformation and handling of the more challenging members of the student body, we are also treated to a glimpse of students such as Ryan, whose sparkling personality could warm even the frostiest of hearts. One of the most noteworthy moments of the series for me had to be when twelve year old Ryan earnestly admitted his ambitions to one day become the Prime Minister – “either that or an actor”. Brilliant. However the most poignant moment of ‘Educating Yorkshire’ is undoubtedly awarded to year eleven student, Musharaf Asghar. Affectionately nicknamed ‘Mushy’, the sixteen year old suffers from a heavy stammer which, in times of anxiety, can render him virtually mute. The final episode followed his journey through his final GSCE year as he attempted to tackle a vital speech exam that stood in the way of his college ambitions. Aided by his remarkable English teacher, Mr Burton, we witnessed a truly miraculous moment where the student borrowed the technique displayed in the film ‘The King’s Speech’ and recited a poem from beginning to end with the aid of musical distraction. Mushy’s progression was made even more emotional and
SCORPIO (24 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER) We see a very strong chance of romance for you this month, Scorpio. All you have to do is look out for the person wearing a beanie on their head, Nikes on their feet and an edgy rucksack on their back. Don’t say we don’t give you options.
CAPRICORN (22 DECEMBER - 20 JANUARY) A wise man once said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” We are here to advise you that these words have no relevance to your life at all. It is literally the worst advice in the world. Do that and you end up like the cast of Made in Chelsea: permanently surrounded by awful people you hate.
AQUARIUS (21 JANUARY - 19 FEBRUARY) The colour red looks to be of great significance for you this month. It’s the colour of love and passion, sure but it’s also the colour of winter acne and unpaid bills. You decide which has more relevance to your life.
ARIES (21 MARCH - 20 APRIL) If you don’t rein it in, your constant and inaccurate use of the word “literally” will literally see you bludgeoned over the head with a blunt object until you literally learn your lesson. No quotation marks, capeesh?
TAURUS (21 APRIL - 21 MAY) This month, a toxic combination of emotions – nostalgia, desire, and straight-up loneliness – will result in an ill-advised night of passion with your ex. After consulting the stars, we predict you’ll realise they’re just as annoying before and regret it.
CANCER (22 JUNE - 22 JULY) This month you will experience incredible highs and devastating lows, as you spend six hours at Warehouse Project and then spend the next 48 hours crying weakly into your pillow.
Illustrations by Cecilia Tricker
incredibly attractive woman who is ten years my senior. She is a highly successful lawyer and so she often takes me out for expensive dinners or for romantic weekends away. When spending time together at home, I usually come over to her place because she lives in a stylish Northern Quarter flat whereas I live in a seedy basement abode in Rusholme. All in all everything is really magical, except she’s not very good at listening to me talk about my life and I rarely get to see her in the daytime apart from when she decides last minute to whisk me away. I think I love this woman, so do you have any advice?
When the adverts for a new Channel 4 documentary following a secondary school in Yorkshire first appeared on my tv screen, I have to admit, I was far from enthusiastic. Immensely bored by the triviality of TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, the thought of a new addition to the evidently scripted, over-the-top collection of ‘reality’ TV shows exasperated me greatly – that is, until I stumbled by chance upon the first episode of Educating Yorkshire on the channel’s website. What initially started out as something I had put on to drown out the silence of an empty flat one afternoon, quickly became my latest obsession: along with a large proportion of the nation, I was hooked. It would be easy to pinpoint the heart-warming insight into the relationships shared by the pupils and teachers as the main reason for the success of ‘Educating Yorkshire’, however for the people of our generation – that is to say, people for whom school is a not-too-distant memory – the documentary offers a somewhat humorous reflection of the school life that many of us experienced. I personally found myself greeting the back-combed hair, the orange foundation lines and the woeful attempts at banter with a nostalgic delight that I would never usually admit to possessing. The genuine (and staggeringly honest) portrayal of Thornhill Community Academy‘s daily routine gave the show the sense of humanity that has been undeniably absent from other representations of school life, allowing it to successfully strike a chord with the British public. Edited down from two thousand hours of footage shot on sixty four carefully placed cameras, the result was
LEO (23 JULY - 22 AUGUST) The whole casual-grunge, 90s sportswear, un-brushed hair, scuffed trainers look you’ve got going on is cool, sure. However, you might start to reconsider a few things this month when a homeless person kindly offers to buy the magazine you’re holding.
boyfriend says I need Q My to improve on my oral sex technique. How do I go about this? with a generously A Practise sized banana (skin-on) until you overcome your gag reflex and find yourself blessed with a fantastic new party trick.
Do you have a problem that you’d like solved? Send it in to lifestyle@ mancunion.com
SAGITTARIUS (23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER) You’ve spent so much time in the library recently that the bags under your eyes are more like suitcases and you’ve begun to dream in footnotes. Take a break every now and then – join the rest of us in Slacker Land! We’ve got tea, Come Dine with Me repeats and loads of naps… It’s great.
PISCES (20 FEBRUARY - 20 MARCH) Elephants never forget, and apparently neither do you. Yes, it was annoying that your housemate finished off your vodka when you were home for Reading Week, but you have got to let it go.
GEMINI (22 MAY - 21 JUNE) They say don’t put all your eggs in one basket, but to be honest, Gemini, you’re lucky to have a basket at all, so take what you can get. In the words of Mark Twain: “Put all your eggs in one basket – and watch that basket.”
VIRGO (23 AUGUST - 23 SEPTEMBER) It’s not that you’re lazy, exactly, it’s just that you can’t be bothered to do anything. Lectures, essays, getting out of bed and showering are all just quite pointless tasks, aren’t they? According to Jupiter, you are actually part sloth, so draw the curtains, get back under the covers and watch stuff on iPlayer all day. It’s destiny.