My Lived Experience Twelve Months Dealing with a Global Pandemic The tautological statement ‘we don’t know what we don’t know’ summed up my early experience of the pandemic. I did not envisage the year 2020 to have such an askew vision. After the shock and realisation sunk in, I was struck quite violently by the reaction that was displayed in the media of how the general public were reacting. The pandemic became a slightly infinitesimally secondary concern compared to the hysteria displayed through the panic-buying that ensued. The imposed quarantine combined with the news of escalation in cases and deaths, and the fear that I experienced whenever someone got too close while coughing with no mask, quickly eroded my mental state. I became fearful of other people and agoraphobic. I was afraid of people shirking the restrictions and I was afraid of people getting too close. I experienced a complete self-disintegration. I contacted Manchester Mind with no expectations. I just needed someone to talk to. I never envisaged the amount of support that was there. The support from Manchester Mind definitely footed the bill owed by NHS services. I was having therapy through the NHS but that stopped. The compassion focused therapy and Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprogramming (EMDR) I was having was then quickly adapted to be delivered online, but I struggled with it because the complexity of EMDR could not be delivered properly via a digital interface and I could not connect with it. I felt too detached from the therapy and too self-conscious. Annual Review 2020-21
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