Becoming an Adult Sister’s Caregiver By Janice Corrado (USA, mum, educator, advocate for diversity)
Tiffany McDowell was a busy wife and mother of three daughters when she received devastating news: Her beloved mother had been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Tiffany’s sister Mallory had lived her entire life in her mother’s care, and suddenly her family was left to figure out how to navigate life without her. Though Tiffany had a lot to learn, she was determined to provide the best possible life for Mallory. Tiffany shares what she has learnt along the way and how together she and Mallory created their business, Mallory Paige Designs.
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iffany McDowell loved her little sister Mallory from the moment she laid eyes on her. “I felt like my parents had brought Mallory home just for me, like she was my special gift after so many years of living with four brothers,” Tiffany recalls. The two girls remained close all through their years at school. Mallory loved to accompany Tiffany as the older sister shopped for clothes, got her hair and nails done, or prepared for special date nights with her boyfriend (now husband) JJ. Even after Tiffany and JJ married and moved into their own home, Tiffany and Mallory would have “girls’ night” at their mom’s house each weekend, where they would fix their favourite snacks, watch their favourite movies, and stay up way too late enjoying each other’s company. “I knew my mom did a lot to help Mallory, but until she was gone and I had to take over, I hadn’t realised how truly difficult that could be.” Although Tiffany and JJ had always known they would become Mallory’s caregivers, they never expected that it would happen so soon. “Our mom died at the age of fifty-three when Mallory was a senior in high school,” Tiffany says. “Luckily, because we had been close all along, having Mallory move in with us went very smoothly. JJ and our three girls welcomed Mallory with open arms, and Mallory really enjoyed being a part of our household from the start.”
ment with the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, I felt so defeated! I knew nothing about how the system worked, and I wasn’t at all impressed with what was offered for my sister,” Tiffany remembers. Tiffany was determined to provide something better for Mallory. Initially, she enrolled Mallory in a day programme that promised to help her develop employment skills. The programme was so expensive that Mallory had to hand over her entire Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) cheque each month to cover the programme cost. “I honestly wasn’t seeing the progress that I thought Mallory was capable of, and this programme was costing her everything, leaving her no opportunity to save any money,” Tiffany recalls. “That was the moment I realised I needed to educate myself in order to effectively advocate for Mallory to help her achieve a meaningful and fulfilling life.”
Transition to Adult Services As is the practice in the United States, Mallory remained at her high school in a postgraduate programme until she turned twenty years old. At that point, Tiffany was faced with having to help Mallory navigate the world of adult services. “At our first appointmakingchromosomescount.co.uk
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