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THURSDAY, AUGUST 24, 2017
The Rockaway Times
Good Grief
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By Kathy Lord
I want to preface this article by saying that I am certainly not an expert on the topic of “grief� but I do have some thoughts that I would like to share on that subject. I can assure you that this is not going to be a depressing article about death. Dealing with death and dying and its after effect of grief are a fact of life and for me it helps to talk about it, laugh about it, cry about it and apparently write about it. After recently losing three people dear to me within six weeks starting the beginning of June, there are some things about grief and grieving that have become very clear to me. One of the first things I have recognized is that not only is it ok to grieve, but it’s very necessary and is actually part of the gift (strange as it may seem) that we receive when we love deeply. What I saw so clearly in deal-
ing with these recent losses is that I actually wanted to feel the grief! Feeling the grief helped me to feel connected to the person/ people who had recently passed away. What I didn’t want was for one of my truly well-meaning family members or friends to try to “snap me out of it� by saying things like “well, he’s in heaven now� or “you’ll see her again� or any other positive slogan that is supposed to help fix the sadness and make you feel better. It is actually more interruptive of the process of grieving for me when someone tries to “snap me out of it.� What I found/find most helpful is the person who can sit with you in your sadness and grief. A good listener, someone who can be there with you, allowing you to express what you’re feeling without telling you that you need to be feeling something else. A quote from Earl Grollman encapsulates
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