Find Your Tribe
By Marci Lutsky
T
his week’s Mom’s Vibe column is a bit different than what I usually write about. Typically, I give you lists like the best places to take kids on rainy days, or the best books to read on the beach while enjoying the quiet of September. This week I’m writing more from heart on a subject that I find VERY important, which is why you need to find your mom tribe. Now that kids are back in school and life is more hectic than ever, friends are especially important, since they are the glue that holds us together and keeps us sane. Find your tribe and keep them close. There is one word you will never hear come out of my mouth and it’s bestie (is it even really a word?). I’m sorry if you are reading this and you just posted a picture on social
media of you and your bestie. As a mom in my mid-forties, I don’t feel the need to label someone as a best friend or bestie. When you do that, you are basically telling other people that they aren’t as important as your bestie. What message does that send to our young children? I don’t want my seven year-old daughter upset because the girl she thought was her bestie finds a new best friend, leaving her sad and feeling left out. Instead, I think it’s important to have a tribe of women who you call your close friends. I have found that friendships in my forties are some of the strongest I have ever had. So why do you need good friends? For a lot reasons! My tribe of friends is made up of people who I can call in a pinch if I need help with my kids. Two weeks ago I was stressed out with a full schedule of cooking classes in one week and the thought of taking my kids to the supermarket was just too overwhelming, so I texted a friend
and asked if my kids could play at her house for an hour while I got my food shopping done. She didn’t even hesitate for a second and I would do the same for her. Asking for help is never easy but your tribe doesn’t judge when you need help and will always help if possible. I ran into a friend on the first day of school who I hadn’t seen all summer. She knew how busy I was with teaching cooking classes. She said that she was really proud of me for how hard I was working and how successful our classes had become. That sweet sentiment touched me and meant so much to me. It was so genuine and caring. Your tribe
will celebrate your successes and give you encouragement when you need it. Being a good friend isn’t always easy. As moms, we all struggle with different issues. It’s important to take the time to think of others and what they need. If I know someone is sick or has a sick family member, I will offer to bring food. If I know someone is starting a new job and feeling super stressed, I will offer to pick up their kids from school. Sometimes it’s not about what you do, but just being there to lend an ear when someone is going through a rough time. I look at the new school year as a time to start fresh. Think about your tribe and who you want to have in your inner circle of friends. Nourish those friendships and let people know that you value them in your life. There are many ways to show a friend you care. They will appreciate you and have your back when you need it!
Marci Lutsky is a local mom of seven year-old twins and can be reached at veggingattheshore@gmail.com.
Linwood Farmers Market Fall 2018 Season Saturdays 9:00-12:30 September 15th through November 3rd
Central Square
199 New Road, Linwood
nwood i L Est.
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SEPTEMBER 13-26, 2018
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