THE REVERE ADVOCATE - Friday, September 15, 2017
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THE REVERE ADVOCATE - Friday, January 3, 2
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Greetings, neighbors, and welcome the Beach City…BUZZ…We’ve got some New Greetings, friends, and welcome to the to Beach City BUZZ Well, weather-wise, it’s been Year’s resolutions - in verse, of course: My life is so disorganized, but I’ve got a great quite an eventful few weeks, and our thoughts go out to all those who are now dealing with solution - total self improvement is my New Year’s resolution. I’ve taken a hard look at the aftermath of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma, the earthquake in Mexico and whatever myself, and don’t like what I see. So in the coming year, I’ll become a better me. I’ll do comescrafts, next. Mother Nature is apparently not will a happy camper these days. some and learn to cook, my soufflés be divine. And when I’m(Remember in a restaurant, thebe classic Chiffon Margarine from the “It’s not nice fool Mother I’ll a snob ‘bout wine. I’ll gocommercial to bed early, with a 1970’s cup of –warm milk, I’ll to become an early Nature”?) We’ve been hearing lots of commentary on the storm coverage,I’ll most of ita not so riser. I’ll learn to balance my checkbook too, and become an organizer. study foreign complimentary. Personally, I spent theSpanish. better part I’ll of last to my TV,and watching language, maybe French or maybe pay weekend off all myglued bills on time, all my debts vanish. I’ll Irma quit my smoking, drinking too, and then feelthat quite where,will when and how would wreak havoc. I couldn’t help butI’ll think the healthy. Weather I’ll save some money every week, and that will make me wealthy. And when I’m driving Channel, as well as the national news outlets, really need to stop making their employees in my car, I won’t flip off the bird. I’ll keep my calm, and smile a lot, and forget stand outside in hurricane force winds and torrential rains for hours on end, doing a 4 letter words. I’ll keep mybad house in order, neat and sparkling I’ll only things that are monologue of how the storm is. Seriously? We’ve gotclean. everyone and buy his mother-in-law on sale I’ll be a Coupon Queen. My body, I promise, will get in shape something other telling residents of Florida to evacuate. President Trump says, Get out of Dodge. Florida’s than round. I’ll eat cottage cheese and drink skim milk, and lose those twenty pounds. governor says, “Leave now!” Roads and bridges are being closed. And then there’s someone I’ll gain some muscles, work my heart, and take an exercise class. Yoga, Zumba, lifting named Mike myme TV,lose standing in theI’llmiddle water, 150-mile-an-hour andI’ll weights, will on help my a$$. learn of to rising play the piano, and music I winds, will read. flying debris, repeating over and over again, “This is reality, folks!” Uh, no, Mike. This practice daily for hours on end, until my fingers bleed. I’ll put other’s needs aheadis of stupidity. inside!this We coming get it. There’s a hurricane out as there, andof you’re a dork. wasn’t mine, andGomaybe year, I’ll feel fulfilled I give myself, andAnd findittime to just Mike. On TV remote landed, there were and sopping windblown volunteer. I’llevery growstation all my my veggies at home in the spring, startwet, them all from people seed, hanging to palm trees, telling dance, us that they werelots sopping wet. to Fifteen A I’ll learn on to polka and ballroom and buy of books read.minutes I’ll learnoftofame? like soy milk eatLack more trade Dunkin’s tea. BUZZers, I’ll only watch showstoon deathand wish? of sprouts, seniority I’ll at the news station?for Noherbal life? Sorry, just needed Channel anddidn’t no more reality TV. let me just some get allmore this straight resolving vent. And2, if we get enough of thisNow insanity, here’s news – it- I’m won’t be long a better me. I’ll be thinner, healthier, smarter too, but I’ll live in misery. On second thought, ’til we see our local media people out in blizzards with yardsticks measuring that dusting to let’s forget this idea, because really, I don’t give a damn. My only New Year’s resolution, an inch, so get ready. Where is Shelby Scott? Bring back Don Kent! … Just my two cents, is to like me for who I am…Let’s ring in the BUZZ: The start of a new year means and for a penny more, you get the BUZZ. I’m happily reporting it from the comfort of my nice, that it’s time for the Mayor’s Annual State of the City Address, which takes place on dry, indoor office, complete with keyboard, desk, cup of strong coffee and my very capable Monday, January 13 at 6:00 P.M. in the Joseph A. DelGrosso Council Chambers assistant, Georgia theRizzo Wonder Dog,all snoozing at myIf feet Head downthe to Revere at City Hall. Mayor invites to attend. you… can’t beon there, address will Beach this Saturday, September 16 from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. for the Second Annualto also be on Revere TV on Channel 9…Why not kick off the New Year by pledging Revere Beach Art Festival, at the Markey Bridge. The Revere Beach Partnership invites give blood? On January 16 from 2:00 - 7:00 p.m. head to the Beachmont VFW, 150 everyone to “Celebrate the work of local artists and watch them bring life to Revere Beach Bennington St. and donate some blood. You’ll be doing something good, and you’ll also a voucher for a free poundwill of be Dunkin’ Donuts coffee…Ran-dumb thoughts: in thereceive Live Art Competition.” Featured artist exhibitions, live music and a live artist It’s almost 2014, andatI can’t believe been a and whole I didn’t become a better competition. Any day the beach is ait’s good day, thisyear onesince promises to be fabulous … person; is responsible for millions of gifts 15, arriving late? OK,Beach here’s Also fromUPS the Revere Beach Partnership: OnChristmas Sunday, October it’s the Revere my take on that - How ‘bout shifting a little of that responsibility to the of Pumpkin Festival. “Sponsored by Kelly’s Roast Beef, children fromover Revere visitmillions our morons who didn’t realize that Christmas was actually December 25th this year, and beach-front ‘pumpkin patch’ to pick out a pumpkin and decorate it. Over 600 pumpkins are had 350+ days to get those packages sent? Hmmm?…So there we were, sitting at the given out! Other activities include cookie decorating, live entertainment and more!” Sign bar at DeMaino’s on the Friday after Christmas with the usual suspects/regulars, all up us for sick the great Pumpkin leftovers Dash, tooand … Friends, forget about 11thTVs Annual of of Christmas cravingplease a “real”don’t meal. The big the screen were ReveretoBeach Memorial, those who have passed substance tuned the football gameto-remember “the Military Bowl”, which most as of ausresult had of never heard of. use. It’spoint, Sunday, 17, 7:00-8:00 p.m.- Register one’sbetween name at 781-485At one mySeptember Honey voiced his opinion “The onlya loved difference the Military 6440 or in person between 5:45-6:45 at the Ran-dumb thoughts: there Bowl and a regular football game is thatevent in a … regular football game, Why they isrun up aand “D” in fridge, but not in refrigerator? Isn’t they it justgo, so darned sadleft, that right…” our brainFunny. cells, skin cells down the field. In the Military Bowl, left, right, And you think it’s easy?…Speaking of funny, I promised a certain guy who can oft be seen and hair cells continue to die, but our stubborn fat cells have eternal life? If you’re going in warm tooling around a littleOtherwise Corvette,you’re and who’s MacC to be aweather smart a$$, first you havetown to beinsmart. just aninitials a$$ …are OnBob Sunday, -September that I would put this “joke” in the BUZZ. Apparently, “everybody” thinks it’s hysterically 17, Save the Harbor/Save the Bay will host the first of two free fall cruises to funny. Except me. Raise your hand ifand thisState makes youVisit laugh: penguin walks into a bar, the Boston Harbor Islands National Park! the A Treasures of Spectacle goes to the counter and says to the bartender, “Have you seen my twin brother?” The Island cruise to hunt for sea glass and artifacts on Treasure Beach, hike the North Drumlin bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”…OK, did we see any hands for a view of the city and the harbor, and fish with their Youth Environmental Education raised? Me neither…That’s it for the BUZZ, BUZZers. Have a happy and safe New Program staff. Boarding begins thesing, Provincetown II at Bay State Company’s Year, do whatever makes your on heart and remember: Youth is Cruise when you’re allowed dock at the World Trade Center in the Seaport at 9:30 a.m. for a 10:00 a.m. departure, and to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Old age is when you’re forced to…This week’s the ship returns at 1:30. Reservations required, so RSVP gaylord@savetheharbor.org SMILEMAKERS: Regina Daley, Lisa Fortuna, Ryan to Green, Adam Comeau, Carolyn or phone at Valerie 617-451-2860 x1008 … Arthur Bennett to let RHS alums know that Chambers, Garrison, Jayden Brown, Allisonemailed Morris, Heather Murphy, Tom Mason, Marc Capizzi, Lisa Gendreau, Hayes, Dennis Doucette, Barbara the Revere High School Class Brendan of 1957 will be holding their 60th Reunion on Holden, Saturday,Otto Swanson, Benoit, Emily Maria Morabito, Roberta Levy…Heeere’s October 14,Christine 2017, from 1:00 p.m. to Welch, 5:00 p.m. at the Kowloonand Restaurant in Saugus; the CHUCKLE (from Ann Onymous): ’Twas the month after Christmas, andBUZZ, all through $48.00 per person. Contact Fred Sannella at 781-284-3697 … That’s it for the the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the BUZZers. Do whatever makes your heart sing, and remember: 90% of being marriedeggnog is just I’d taste at the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose shouting “WHAT?” from another room … This week’s SMILEMAKERS: Mandy DeMasi, such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I’d remember Jason Smith, Gary Chen, Danielle Ramos, Jerry Lodge, Jody Calabro, Alex Cerbone, the marvelous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The Adrianna Gregory Menard,And Maxthe Doucette, Daly, Briana wine and Boriello, the rum Jennifer balls, theQuigley, bread and the cheese, way I’dDan never said, “No Scata, thank George Bell, Maria Alimonti, Jorge Dubon, Mary Kelly, Lily Belschner, Kathleen Callahan, you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to andbattle happy,with happy birthday firstborn, and the best daughter Mom could everdisguised have, do dirt--I saidtotomy myself, as only I can “ You can’t aspend a winter Allison Berman Biggio … Here’s the CHUCKLE: Sidney’s wife bought a new line of very as a man! “ So— away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every expensive cosmetics that the to make her look years cracker and chips. Every lastadvertisements bit of food that“guaranteed I like must be banished, Til all the younger.” additional ounces havelong vanished. I won’t have cookie--not even a lick. I’ll products, want to chew only on After a long, time sitting before theamirror applying the “miracle” she asked aher long celery stick. look I won’t have hot or corn bread, or pie,you I’ll say munch on Looking a carrot hubby, “Darling, at me and tellbiscuits, me honestly, what age would I am?” and quietly cry.carefully, I’m hungry, I’mreplied, lonesome, and life isfrom a bore--But isn’t that what January her over quite Sidney “Well, judging your skin, 20; your hair, 18; is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!” your lips, 21, and your figure, 25.” “Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed. “Hey, wait just a minute!” ….Got comments? News? Announcements? Suggestions? Want to congratulate Sidney interrupted. “I haven’t finished adding them up yet.” … Got comments? Jokes? someone on their anniversary, birthday, baby, divorce? Is your group running a News? Suggestions? Want to congratulate someone on their anniversary, birthday, fundraiser, meeting or event? January 5 is National Bean Day! Got a half baked joke baby or bean divorce? Is yourtogroup a fundraiser, meeting, yard sale or event? you’ve meaning send running us? Snap to it! No kidneying! Lima waiting for your September National Piano Month! This is key, it’sitall in black and white: BUZZ bits! isEmail AndreaRevere@aol.com andand read in here the REVERE ADVOCATE! We’ll recital the info once again, no strings attached … just email your BUZZbits to AndreaRevere@aol.com and read it in The Revere Advocate!
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