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L V H R D . O R G PRV PG © 2007 DEWAR'S ,WHITE LABEL, AND THE HIGHLANDER DEVICE ARE REGISTERED TRADEMARKS AND DEWARISM IS A TRADEMARK. IMPORTED BY JOHN DEWAR & SONS COMPANY, MIAMI, FL. BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY – 40% ALC. BY VOLUME.


A L S I T H I I S S U

O N S E

LTTRS DESKTOPIAS MMBR RCMMNDS ISSUE II SPRING 2007

LVHRD.ORG

MT@LVHRD PLYLST NNLVHRDVNT DTD TCHNLGY

SECOND CITY Sound tripping in New Orleans

HNDCFFD Strangers With Friction

O N T H E C O V E R Speto appeared at LVHRD’s Bi-Fold II: WLD STRTS, courtesy of Brahma, and produced the artwork that now graces the MGZN’s cover.

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PBLSHR.FNDR.DRCTR.

Beauregard H. Montgomery EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Doug Jaeger EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Ben Nabors LEAD DESIGNER / MANAGING EDITOR

Elizabeth Tan design consultant

Jennifer Daniel MUSIC EDITOR

Steve Roberts editors

Logan Antill Matt Spangler Michael Garrido

P roduction assist

Elliott McCreadie w riters / contributors

Chrystale Thompson Heather Fink Logan Antill Lance Danglish Michael Garrido Nicholas Hall Richard Spellingsby Rina Raphael Tobi Elkin SPECIAL HELP

technical director

Erin Sparling PHOTOGRAPHY

Doug Jaeger Erin Sparling Gary Sloan Jordan Todd Leo Zacharias Mark Miller Tobi Elkin video

Carlos Pavan Mark Miller Kathy “Phat” Choi art / illustrators

Catalina Girón Chris Rubino Elliott McCreadie Jennifer Daniel Mark Miller Rob Hudak Speto

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Dave Franzese Rich B. Knight L V H R D M G Z N B snss M ngr

Matt Spangler L V H R D M mbrshp S rvces

Chantal Strauss P ublic R elations

thehappycorp global O nline D istribution

Cliff Shelby A dvertising S ales

April Garrett Lauren Dapiaoen C ontact

mgzn@lvhrd.org

JENNIFER DANIEL

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ERIN SPARLING


CNTRBTNG RTSTS

CHRIS RUBINO Makes designs

JENNIFER DANIEL much like her

famed great-great-uncle Jack Daniels, loves to design for print. Recent projects have had her working on magazines such as Heeb and UTNE, and obscure print publications like The New York Times.

MARK MILLER was raised in the fields of Indiana. Since childhood he has sought to mix his ideas with technology in order to understand the world around him better. In 2002 Mark started a personal project called Stretch Daily with the goal of producing one creative work a day and sharing it with the world.

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ERIN SPARLING enjoys computers, Nintendo, puns, his girlfriend, glasses, beards, and photography. In fact, he enjoys all of these things so much that he’s rarely without them... ever. Erin lives in Brooklyn, New York, but spends most of his time in the Nolita neighborhood.

ROB HUDAK Born in the rustbelt city of Youngstown, Ohio. Made a livin g playing in an alternative punk ban d. Earned BA in graphic design. Mov ed to New York City where he met his Louisiana born wife. Started free lance company Mechanical Head. Started label Full-Tilt Records. Became LVH RD member. Accepted invitation to h elp start thehappycorp global. Became a pirate. Moved with wife to New Orleans. Became full-time dad. Rec ently joined Zehnder Communications as Interactive Creative Director. 

and draws pictures. Once lived on a commune in New Mexico. Then lived in Boston with Irish people. Now lives in Brooklyn with Italians. In exchange for work… The NY Times, Banana Republic and the Public Theater gave him money. In exchange for posters… A lot of good rock bands just gave him a handshake.

LEO ZACHARIAS Is a freelance photographer based in NYC since 2001 when he moved here from Brazil pursuing a music career, once in New York he luckily discovered his talent for photography because one can’t make a living playing drums in a “grindcore” band! His diversified work ranges from fashion and advertising to glorious LVHRD events and extreme sports.

PHAT CHOI was named by the Harvard School of Medicine as one of the 5 deadliest mammals in North America. Mysterious, swift, venomous and capable of short flights between tree limbs, this gorgeous creature is as beautiful as it is unnerving.

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DEAR CHANTAL LTTRS

Over the past two years a lot of people have stumbled across my email address, for good or for bad. Whether they want in, want information, or want some attention... they tell me about it. Here are just a few emails from a bursting inbox. Chantal Strauss, Membership Director

From: xxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com Subject: Re: LVHRD: The VMC Eaters

From: xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.com Subject: thanks

I’d like to know about future gatherings in Greece and the med. Interested in fashion shows.

You should know that when I told my Japanese girlfriend about the VMC she decided to move to New York. She was on the fence, but that put her over the top. I mean, damn. Thanks.

From: xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com Subject: animal coverage My boyfriend is a LVHRD member and I’m thinking I might possibly want to know how to join, but before I do that I’d like to talk about my concerns. You had those “desktopia” things in the last MGZN, oh my god! snowy seals! and the puppy in the hot dog!, but have you thought about doing more with animals? Like really really really cute animals? I know girls would love it. Like puppies crawling out of models’ mouths or chihuahuas with only two legs? That would be great. Then I would join. See you soon! xxxx xxxxxxx

From: xxx-xxx@xxxxxx.com Subject: Re: email list? Hello, I heard about the Underpants Videogame competition you guys are having from nonsensenyc and am quite impressed. Unfortunately I have to be down in Philly that night but I’m very interested in your lovely organization and would like to be added to your email list so I can make sure not to miss any future such events. Thanks, playing Centipede in my underwear would’ve been a childhood dream come true...

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From: xxx-xxx@xxxxxx.com Subject: Beauregard I was going to the dermatologist in Soho and when I signed in I saw the name under mine was B. Montgomery. There are a lot of businesses in that building, but I can’t stop picturing Montgomery getting a facial. I wish I knew what he looked like.

AD

From: xxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.com Subject: RE: wuelle in NY schatz, die fotos sind alle schwarz????? fliege samstag nach hamburg. der moritz ist heut schon los.... muß dir so viel erzählen..... hope I will talk to you soon. love xxxxxxxx

From: xxxxxxxxxxx@xxx.com Subject: Bike ride I haven’t been to a lvhrd event but I would like to tell you what a good one would be...A Motorcycle Ride through NYC summer 2007! You could start in Brooklyn and do the bridge and then do the city, bottom to top, and party in Harlem or the Bronx or whatever. Members with bikes only! Don’t do it if you don’t want to. But I will.

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PCTRS ANCHOR

PCTRS

BI-FOLD II: WILD STREETS 1

THUR, NOV 16TH, 2006 MIDTOWN WEST HOST JAKE DOBKIN WEAR WHITE

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1 Speto & Host Jake Dobkin 2 Graffiti Research Lab 3 Speto paints live 4 DJ from Turntable Lab 5 Lit by throwies 6 Matt Murphy, Kristin Sloan, and David Hallberg LEFT Poster by Hani Lim, AAARRR!!!

Photographs by Leo Zacharias.

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At Bi-Fold II: WLD STRT, LVHRD paired Brazilian graffiti artist Speto with New York based Graffiti Research Lab at a midtown venue for an evening of graffiti theory and practice. Speto, whose work has more in common with illustration than traditional street tagging, worked with spray paint to turn a white wall into a surge of color in front of a packed house. Graffiti Research Lab handed out materials for the crowd to make their own L.E.D. throwies for spontaneous installation light and tagged an adjacent building with a Night Writer. Different schools. Brazil and New York. But resistors all. And that was the beauty of BiFold II: WLD STRT.

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MEMBER SURVEY

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Dennis Crowley, founder of Dodgeball.com, made some recommendations to LVHRD in his own hand on how to get intimate with life and NYC. Here is a copy of the original facsimile. When asked for a faxed self-portrait, Crowley provided the contents of his pockets.

MMBR RCMMNDS

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MT @ LVHRD

BI-FOLD I TUESDAY JUNE 27, 2006

It was the 1st Bi-FOLD where Gary Sloan, a commercial photographer, met Mark Denardo, a musician and composer. It didn’t take long for a collaboration to arise from a mutual respect and friendship.

MARK DENARDO

MUSICIAN “Gary’s work immediately had me interested and beyond that, I knew from LVHRD that Gary and his wife Gail were great people; so it made for an easy collaboration. He selected a corner in Williamsburg to give the set a Mario Brothers vibe and with some karate kicks, and blues wails, we nailed the shot. We worked together to alter it and plan on continuing to do so with motion graphics and music.”

GARY SLOAN

PHOTOGRAPHER “Hearing the echos of Robert Johnson over his interesting blend of 8-bit Gameboy effects was a stripped down and totally unique experience that provoked and inspired. I thought it would be interesting to shoot Mark as an artist, feeling, as with most of my work, we would both push it further if there was collaboration.” A Williamsburg street corner created the 8-bit world for the shoot and Gary captured the energetic photo.“From there, Mark started scribbling creatures into the different layers of the image, and added lyrics as a throwback to the night,” says Gary.”The back and forth process showed us both an insight into another artist’s process. We’re excited to continue the piece with motion and music.”

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PPL

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OPENER

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IRWIN SLATER CREATIVE AGENCY

THE LOVELIEST PUDDING


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COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY

NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH

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HEEB MAGAZINE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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I S S U E T W O NXT PG JEFF BENJAMIN

CRISPIN PORTER & BOGUSKY

interactive ninja

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I S S U E T W O NXT PG NOAH NORMAN

HANDSHAKE

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Member on member interviews from some of LVHRD’s more active participants.

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FLAVORPILL ANCHOR V

PLAYFUL BRAND DIVERSITY ARTKRUSH NEW YORK SOHO BUSINESS STRATEGY FILM MAGAZINE EVENT INFORMATION GROWTH HIRE

RIGHT Mark Mangan and Sascha Lewis at the Flavorpill Headquarters.

Mark Mangan and Sascha Lewis haven’t had much time to look over their shoulders lately. Partners through the dot com burst, Mark and Sascha weathered the flood waters around their first company and went on to found Flavorpill, the email magazine conglomerate currently consisting of eleven publications in six different cities. Now Mark and Sascha face the challenge of growing globally, managing an expansive network of creative organizations, and staying credible with advertisers, all while preserving a unique brand - challenges many entrepreneurs experience while growing a small business. To the minds behind Flavorpill, however, these are challenges that they’re looking forward to. You had a company before Flavorpill called Netset goods. Why didn’t it work? Combination of 3 things. Retail being a very tough business, the internet bubble busting and us being inexperienced business people who didn’t know how to weather that storm. Initially, when we were transitioning from Netset to Flavorpill, we had a friend of ours on our board who basically took over the lease on the space we had, paid the last month rent, and put people in the space. He let us stay there for a few months for free to get off the ground. That really was the closest we came to incubation. How long did it take you to get the first advertiser big enough to keep you afloat? It took us about 8 months to get that first big advertiser who would infuse us with the capital we needed to grow. Is your revenue based cyclically on the nature of the advertising industry? Do you see a significant shift in your revenue from industry downturns? Well, for sure, we see the shift in advertising dollars all the time. We are cognizant of that and its why we continue to look towards diversifying where our revenue comes from. Still, we expect that next few years that our revenue will continue to grow. As it is now, we only take a CONTINUED

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A:mark mangan + sascha lewis Q: LANCE DANGLISH + RICHARD SPELLINGSBY PHOTOGRAPHY BY DOUG JAEGER


relationship really. Getting through those hard times together makes the partnership valuable. At the end of the day, when you don’t have investment, and you need someone else who can balance what you do and be able to do a lot of different things, a partner is a great way to start out. Partners need to have a wide set of complimentary skills so that both of them can do what needs to be done.Who would you consider your biggest competitor? Its funny, we’ve been looking over our shoulder for so long, but we still don’t see a lot of other people out there doing what we do. and asked us to come to their cities, Certainly the Daily but we looked for cities we thought Candies of the world could be needed Flavorpill, while also having a considered competitors and some lot to cover. of the more recent launches by I think it was our Interactive Corp and NY Times. former editor Jocelyn Glei, who said At the end of the day there’s a in a meeting, that we’re like the certain amount of money that’s Starbucks of spreading culture. To allocated for niche publishers a certain degree, if you are making by brands, and we kinda feel like a very base comparison, there is we’re lumped in there with all something to that. Go to that city, publishers that size. and you know you can get pretty I think Diller and good coffee, or in our case, great NY Times saw what Daily Candy events and cultural happenings. Your was valued at and figured they relationship as partners must have could just do it themselves for changed a lot over the years. Do you a lot less than 100 million. The have any advice for other partners problem with the UrbanEye is that starting out a business together? it’s just the grey lady with a A partnership is definitely tough. new name. There is nothing else I think when you’re in it, if interesting about it. It’s just there is common success, it makes a repurposing of the content. the partnership easy. When you’re We actually like VSL and think struggling it’s easy to look at your what they’re doing is pretty partner and place blame or start to smart. Are there companies out argue. It’s no different than any there that you look up to? HBO is probably the one we both look up to the most. They combine quality content that people want to pay for with great distribution, growth and finan-cial success. Whole Foods. It was started by a guy in Austin as a place to get quality Organic food and has since grown to a Fortune 500 company that has incredible brand equity. People really enjoy going there. They don’t mind paying more for the food and they actually feel better about buying it. I would say Virgin, specifically because of Sir Richard Branson, a guy that I have always looked up to. He

“Its funny, we’ve been looking over our shoulder for so long, but we still don’t see a lot of other people out there doing what we do.” CONTINUED

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small portion of the total budget for advertising and so we’ll continue to work to grow our offering and try to take a larger share of that pie. How do balance preserving a fun and playful brand with a serious business attitude? It seems like both are required for growth. I think from the beginning we’ve tried to keep this an interesting and fun place to work. As we grow there is the natural problem that more process must be put in place. This might make it less “fun”, but we we try to balance that with other interesting things that grow our community and make it an ok place to work. For example, we recently instituted agenda requirements at all meetings and put 20 or 50 minute limits on them to increase their efficiency, but at the same time we started a “tea time” during the day where the whole office takes a break and gathers for

Some of the publications Flavorpill, Activate, Boldtype, ArtKrush and Earplug.

tea. It has to be a balance. Have you ever taken on investment? Well over the years, we’ve done a little bit of everything. Funding from our own bank accounts and some small investment. We have been approached by tons of VCs over the years and for many reasons we’ve never gone through with it. There have been times when Sascha and I haven’t paid ourselves, but we’ve never missed a payday for the employees. Which of your new titles do you think has the best chance for success in the future? Any other publications on the horizon? Of the non-city publications, Artkrush has grown the fastest and looks to be on a solid path for success. Probably more because Paul Laster has built it with his reputation, great word-of-mouth, and a solid database of contacts. We are coming out with a film magazine...and planning on launching in 4 new cities this year. Many fans across the US have written

Lance danglish

Born on a riverboat casino during a Fourth of July firework display, there was little doubt that Lance word forge a life of excitement. At 16 he started his first business, coined “Cabana Boy”, it provided lifeguard services to the Athens, GA suburbs. At an young age, it taught him the power of brand and the importance of “talent”. He sold the company for a profit and invested his earnings in a restaurant chain specializing in the chicken sandwich. His investment paid off when Chick-Fil-A hit the big time.  Never content in one place, he moved to Manhattan after the dotcom bust to make a fortune auctioning Herman Miller chairs from bankrupt busters. He has been there ever since.

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RICHARD SPELLINGSBY

Richard Spennigsby, was born in 1974 son of a type-setter in Queens, New York. His fascination with letter forms began at an early age, from his fathers influence brought on by his shyness amongst people. He later studied art history at Brown University, where he was recognized for his paper on Giambattista Bodoni. A bi-product of his infatuation with words was his amazing ability to spell. When his father died in 1998, he changed his last name his college nickname Spellingsby.

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has built such incredible power for that brand through so many different channels and it seems that no matter what he does, whether it succeeds (airlines) or fails (Virgin Cola), he figures out a way to make each one work in the end, whether it’s selling off pieces, buying other companies, or selling the name to have others run it. He just never stops and he’s amazing to watch. And now Branson’s getting into space tourism. Amazing. Your current headquarters is in New York, one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., but you network throughout the whole country. Do you see your headquarters moving to another city in the future to help save costs as you grow? New York is really for us right now. We feel that this area—the Broadway Soho area, whatever you want to call it, is the center of everything and the right place to be. Media, advertising, publishers, agencies—all the interesting companies we know—like you guys at thehappycorp—are all in this area and we think its worth the extra money we spend on rent and expenses. That said, we are looking to open an LA office next. It just makes sense. The entertainment is there, the advertising industry is growing there, we already do a series at the Getty Museum, and we’re building a good base of writers there. Plus office space is much cheaper and it’s close to SF and other spots out West that we want to do business in. So much of what you do is based on your audience. What measures do you have in place to track audience interest? Do advertisers ever take you to task to provide them with more details on your audience? Advertisers always want to know who they’re communicating with. For a long time we didn’t have great metrics of our audience, but in recent months we launched more detailed audience collection. We’ve been talking to the creative class for a long time now. We’re glad its finally been coined in a book. Its a great moniker for our predominant audience. How

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have you managed to stay credible with advertisers? Over the years we’ve tried to adhere to a certain aesthetic. As we’ve gotten bigger and older we’ve widened the net a little for the kinds of brands we’ll work with. But at the end of the day it needs to be a product or service that we would want to use and we think our subscribers would be interested in. Who have been your most valuable hires thus far? Jocelyn Glei and Anjuli Ayer for sure. They really helped get us to where we are today. Jocelyn started as an intern and ended up as the editorial director of all of Flavorpill productions before she left us. That being said, we are excited about our new editorial director, Zolton Zavos. Our new sales director is a real pro and we have already noticed the difference she’s made since joining the team. It’s great to have someone who gets us on all sides— both brand and agency—and she has the experience to get out there and sell us. She has helped define the strategy for pitching Flavorpill beyond what used to be mostly an emotional sell. What about future hires? We’re looking for a marketing director. That’s been a tough one. An art director who can continue to help expand the Flavorpill look into the future and define with the future of Flavorpill looks like. You’ve often said that hiring is one of the most difficult tasks for your business. Any strategies that work for you? We’ve set up a process for finding valuable people. Especially when it comes to our editors. We have certain places we post to when we’re hiring. After we collect resumes our office combs through them and finds the best candidates. We then send candidates a questionnaire and when we get that back we have a much better idea of who they are and what kind of talent they have and how they’ll fit in at Flavorpill. What’s the Flavorpill strategy for growth look like? The future of Flavorpill is about allowing people to connect to the events wherever they are, and then we’ll become the center of all eventrelated information across the world.

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DAVE ROGERS ANCHOR

A:DAVE  ROGERS Q:HEATHER FINK

ADVERTISING REAL ESTATE BI-COASTAL SECOND CAREER BUILDINGS MOS DEF SHAKER FLANEUR HOT DOG

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DOUG JAEGER A flaneur at heart, you can find Dave Rogers rambling through his favorite New York neighborhoods, or seeking culinary perfection at Tasting Room and Inoteca. After hours he soaks up every live music event he can get to, from watching one of his heroes, Mos Def, at BAM, to camping in the desert for Coachella. However, even when he is making multi-million dollar deals at his office in midtown, you will never find him wearing a tie. He’s got too many talents to be packaged so neatly. Heather Fink caught up with Dave via email, and their interview exchange was sparked with images and URLs. Links throughout the piece relate to what they shared, including the digital dog that triggered Dave’s portrait. Well, well, well Mr. David Rogers, aren’t we a mover and a shaker? The last time I heard someone call me a mover and shaker was my high school career counselor. These days I stick to the tango. Tell our audience about the two careers through which you have made your name. Even in college, I was fascinated by the advertising industry by how it combined art and strategic planning and commerce. Although I loved art, but had no talent and I really couldn’t see

myself in the typical business world sitting in a cubical. Growing up in Seattle, I wanted to stay on the West and chose three advertising agencies to interview at: Hal Riney in San Fran, BBDO and Chiat\Day in Los Angeles. After visiting each, it was clear that Chiat was the place. At the time, it was one of the most creative firms in the country and I decided starting big would be a great idea. While I was at Chiat, I held many positions, but ended up as Director of Business Development. The pace was insane. The travel was constant and I loved it. It also allowed me to live in both Los Angeles and New York and develop an intimate understanding of both. A close family friend in Seattle was having a lot of success at real estate and convinced me to take a serious look. I thought long and hard about it and started contacting the top real estate firms in Manhattan. I ended up at Corcoran, which, like Chiat, was the top dog. Becoming a broker came relatively easy. In an environment where I was expected to execute about 12 deals a year, I’ve done 40+ in my first two years and was named Rookie of the year in 2005 for the firm. The real estate business

LEFT Dave Rogers knows how to start a mean fire with hot dogs.

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RIGHT Dave from the FXHRD

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is built on relationships, and I have been fortunate to make a few strong ones. One of those is a manager who taught me a ton about the business and helped shaped my career. Recently, he moved to independently owned Prudential Douglas Elliman, where there is an emphasis on minimizing corporate bureaucracy and building entrepreneurial business leaders. I’m happy to say that I’ve recently made the switch as well and my clients will benefit from better research, tools and policies built for them. What does success mean to you? Success is identifying something you love to do and doing it well. I once heard our creative director at Chiat, Lee Clow, say, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” I love the idea of following a few passions over a lifetime and extending into each. One of my heroes is Mos Def. I’m more than impressed by the fact that he started as a DJ, hosts the Def Poetry Jam, has dabbled in fashion, has been on and off Broadway and has received both Golden Globe and Emmy nominations for his on screen work. Everything he does, he does with passion and

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excellence. I want to be him. What was it that drove you to explore a second career? I realized that I wasn’t going to be a Mos Def if I stayed at Chiat. What do you think sets you apart from your competition? I’m not a traditional salesman. When I first got into the business, I met a ton of the stereotypical used-cartype realtors and thought, “My god, what have I done?” Then I realized that my clients would be people who hated that approach as much as I did. I pick up what neighborhoods my buyers might like, which restaurants, subways, and people they like to be close to, what schools might be best. Many of my sellers have a strong idea of how to market their apartment. Using my advertising background and understanding of the market, I often add elements to the mix that they may not have considered. What do you hope the David Rogers legacy will be? I’d like a table with my name on it at Babbo. Do you find any similarities between developing brands and developing neighborhoods? Definitely. The successful brands and neighborhoods are built around big, lasting ideas that have real value people can identify with.One time on Sex in the City, Samantha viewed properties with this really hot real

estate agent and they did it in all of the different rooms. I like thinking about that. Did you ever have a special client? If not can you please make up a fantasy scenario? Are you shopping for an apartment? I know a really great broker. No, I have too many as it is! Oh you know how we city girls are, a woman needs a place to put all her darn shoes. Speaking of apparel, garments, and the like, does that suit get uncomfortable? Don’t you just want to rip it off and slip into some nice flannel jammies? When I worked at Chiat\Day in Los Angeles, the important people would come to work in flip flops and shorts. My office in midtown has a strict suit and tie policy and I’m proud to say that I’m the only one that gets away with wearing jeans on occasion. If I am negotiating a multi-million dollar townhouse deal and I know the parties involved are suits, I’ll don the appropriate attire. Mostly for comfort’s sake and to set me apart a bit, the suits are usually custom made. But you will never, ever find me in a tie. Not even at my funeral? As Stephanie Tanner would say, “How rude!” Moving on, suppose I were to assert that buildings are boring, could you prove me wrong? Life’s too short to live and work in boring buildings. Your environment, either work or residence, directly affects your life. My first office at Chiat was a Frank Gehry building in Venice Beach; with 200 ft tall pair of Claus Oldenburg binoculars serving as the building’s entrance. Working there, I quickly learned there is a distinct connection between creative architecture and creative thinking. Many living spaces here are unbearably small so your choice of space can directly affect your state of mind. That is often why we spend so much time in the restaurants, museums, etc. Well alright, I’ll enjoy buildings, if I have to. Now let’s get real. Who is David Rogers after hours? During my advertising years, I was stuck in the office or an airplane all the time. A flaneur at heart, you’ll usually find me exploring my favorite

Life’s too short to live and work in boring buildings. hoods. After five solid years in the city, I still walk around looking up at the architecture. I also love the food. My favorites are the smaller local joints like the Tasting Room or Inoteca where the food is tasty, the vibe relaxed and the service attentive. After, after hours for the past year I have been soaking up every live music event I could get into. From Mos Def the other night at BAM, to Coachella in May, to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in McCarren Pool, I love to be around the real thing. Live music keeps me sane.I sure as hell hope that instead of a suit you will be wearing a necklace made of fine jewels, a fur sheath around your torso and Dockers dipped in blood. Actually, I’ll assume that’s what you’re wearing. The next question is more of a challenge. Sell me this hot dog. This one right here: What makes this better than other hot dogs? Is that dog from the Weiner Mobile? I think it was parked in Boston when you got it. Based on what I have picked up during our little chat, I’m guessing you don’t really want a dog right now. You’re probably more in the mood for a cocktail. There’s a great dive around the corner that makes killer Manhattans. I think I could probably talk you into one (or six) of those before the dog. Am I right? Failed objective Mr. Rogers. I WILL NOT purchase said dog pictured artfully in the corresponding URL.

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HEATHER FINK

Heather Fink is a New York comedian. Current projects include: Street Meat - a comedy show at Cake Shop (producer/performer), Terminator 4: The Musical (writer/director/performer), and a memoir about her adventures as the world’s greatest gay porn publicist. Last year she hosted/produced Sexytime Comedy Show at Mo Pitkins and Hoboken Comedy Night. Fink is currently Editor of a corporate owned media website and she blogs a lot at heatherfink.com.

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DAN GREGOR ANCHOR

A:DAN GREGOR Q:RINA RAPHAEL PHOTOGRAPHY BY LEO ZACHARIAS UCB DEWAR’S WIT & WISDOM BRO-RAPE TV PILOTS SELLING OUT HAMMERKATZ INTERNET MILLIONAIRES WIGS, HEROIN

RIGHT Dan at Wit & Wisdom: Improv Melee

PG 48

Comedian Dan Gregor played a carcinogenic Superman, a British boy held hostage by Peter Pan and an alleged “Bro Rape” predator of unsuspecting fraternity members, but now he’s just playing a regular college kid…who’s raking in easy millions with his online venture. While performing in the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater’s sketch comedy troupe “Hammerkatz and various other improv troupes, Gregor hustled his TV pilots until he finally got a deal with ABC Television Studios. Along with his comedy trio “Chubby Skinny Kids,” Gregor created “We Are Internet Millionaires,” a show about three college boys who become overnight millionaires with a fictional version of MySpace, a Fortune 500 company they have no clue how to run. Now the 24-year-old comedian is living the watered-down version of the “Entourage” life with a nice CAA agent, messy 3-star L.A. hotel rooms and pals asking for loans. We asked the newly bi-coastal writer/ actor to discuss his new projects, whether people are starting to treat him differently and when he plans to sell out. What inspired you to make “Internet Millionaires”? Considering they’re successful, funny, can dance and you’re basically rewrit-

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ing their life story for the masses… would you say you secretly envy the College Humor boys? It’s not so much about The College Humor guys, as it is they happen to be the most socially outgoing “internet millionaires” in New York right now. The idea of the overnight success story is not a new idea in film or TV, and in the current internet boom there seem to be more overnight success stories than ever before. In your fictional version of MySpace, how are you portraying the fictional child molesters? The cool thing about our show is that it’s not “The MySpace Show.” We’re just using MySpace as the backdrop of genuine characters stories and lives, which is basically true of everyone our age. It’s not like any of us live on the internet. That will always be lame. But it’s so deeply weaved into our lives at this point. So our show plays with internet characters the same way. Having sweat on the stage and now for TV executives, which would you say is more grueling? Writing on a very regular work schedule is actually pretty grueling. It’s more like a real day job than running around like a maniac trying to get a stage show together at the UCB. So, to recap: showing up everyday and writing for six to eight hours CONTINUED


RIGHT Dan performing with the Hammerkatz at Wit & Wisdom: Improv Melee

CONTINUED

FROM

is grueling like a marathon. Whereas showing up 20 minutes before the curtain goes up, not finding your ladies wig and bag of prop heroin and then getting into a fight with the clerk at Duane Reade for not having replacements is grueling like a sprint. Before the jump to the silver screen, you worked in comedy development. How and why did you finally switch over to the dark Hollywood side? Was it the easy bleached-blondes and free screenings? I’m just on my grind like every other actor and writer out there. Comedy development was a lucky enough day job, but it wasn’t so different than being a waiter or temping. You do whatever you have to do to pay rent for your shitbox apartment until that lucky day when you get a break, and they hand you your keys to the easy bleached-blondes and freescreenings. Oh, excuse me, I’ve gotta go meet Fergie at “The Last King of Scotland.” After spending the last few months getting a deal for your new show, which would you say is more unbearable: actors, executives or agents? Hollywood really is like David Lynch’s “Mulholland Drive.” Actors are always crying and masturbat-

ing, executives are always fighting cowboys and agents are all living behind dumpsters and scaring you after breakfast. Why do you think it’s so hard for television networks to produce good shows? Are they simply incompetent or evil? There’s no good concise answer, except that the amount of things that need to come together for a good TV show to be on television are almost unimaginable. If Steve Carell didn’t happen to blow up into the biggest comedy star in the world with “The 40-Year Old Virgin” in the middle of “The Office’s” first season, the show would have definitely been canceled. Its ratings were no good and not enough people understood the slow pacing of the show. But just by luck he did blow up at the right time and the show stayed. Now it’s the best show on TV. How did slaving away as Michael Moore’s production monkey for “Fahrenheit 911” prepare you for the entertainment industry? I was a production assistant and researcher on “Fahrenheit 9/11,” and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I got to see the immense amount of tireless work that goes into even just one minute of quality entertainment. The staff worked for more hours and less pay than pretty much imag-

DANIELLE GRIEPP

Photo shoot for “We Are Internet Millionaires” the pilot demo reel that would eventually get sold to ABC Studios.

PG 50

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RINA RAPHAEL inable, but sometimes for a piece of work you really care about, it’s totally worth it.Many writers complain of studios butchering their scripts. Have you had any bad experiences? It’s invariably going to be frustrating going from making comedy in a black box theater for hipsters in New York City, to trying to make comedy for middle aged executives in California. The hipsters don’t like everything you do either, only difference is they’re not paying your rent.Do people treat you differently now that you’re not as poor and/or unsuccessful as you used to be? Do friends, associates or relatives pretend to be nicer to you? No. I’m still waiting for people to start treating me nicer. What the shit? With a nod to Tobey Maguire, what exactly is a “chubby skinny kid”? Either through clever layering of shirts or just skinny headedness, it’s someone who’s deceptively overweight. Famous Chubby Skinny people include Leonardo DiCaprio, Eminem, Walter Mathau and Abraham Lincoln. Do you find yourself acting differently -- or perhaps, slightly douchier -- when living in Los Angeles? I’m sorry, what was that? I was

HOLLYWOOD REALLY IS LIKE “MULHOLLAND DRIVE.” ACTORS ARE ALWAYS CRYING AND MASTURBATING...

Rina Raphael is a producer for NBC’s TODAY Show, where she covers Travel, People, Entertainment. She also contributes to JANE magazine, covering music, movies and celebrities. Rina has chewed and spit out news for CNN, Tango magazine, Gothamist. com and Blottered.com.

just thinking of doing coke off your tits. If you could re-make any film, which would it be, who would it star and which band would be responsible for the awesomely cheesy soundtrack? Footloose meets the Karate Kid, starring Paul Dano, scored by me playing Guitar Hero. Genius, right? Do you think you’ll ever sell out? The first time I sent out an obnoxious mass mailing asking people to come check out my awful level one improv class, I sold out a little. Everything since then has been inevitably scummier.

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TOC

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Where does 2 come from? What does 2 mean? Who is 2? These are questions that we didn’t ask the contributors to this issue’s Features Section. Instead, we gave them 2 to do what they wanted with it, and we’re pretty happy with the results. In this section, you’ll find treatments of 2 that appeal to most of your senses. Rob Hudak introduces you to the second life of New Orleans (in stereoscopic sound), Tobi Elkin gives relationships a hard look (with handcuffs), and Leo Zacharias exposes LVHRD members at a past event (twice).

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a slice of birth and rebirth in living stereoscopic sound by From delta blues to dirty Mardi Gras parties, New Orleans is a town often characterized by what comes out. Now, as flood waters recede, many great things are going in. For this issue, we approached today’s New Orleans as a second city, seen through the eyes of one of its new arrivals. Rob Hudak (designer, illustrator, animator, musician, record producer, husband, father and LVHRD member) left New York for New Orleans almost a year ago. Settling into his second city, during the start of New Orleans’ second life, he offers a unique perspective on New Orleans past and future. PG 56

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TOBI ELKIN P H O T O E R I N S P A R L I N G

T E X T

STRANGERS WITH FRICTION PG 58

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New York–Say two people who’ve never met agree to participate in a day-long retreat of sorts. They have no idea what the purpose of the day is and no clue what they’ll be doing. More importantly… they’ll be doing everything handcuffed together. Say what? Is it a cosmic joke? A forced intimacy experiment? A love competition? Maybe all of the above. You be the judge as Mary Riley and Nick Rhodes head into the cuffed unkown. Get along, go along, negotiate…or die trying.


and I walk slowly to the West 4th Street subway. They seem uncertain but resigned to their fate. They swap idle bits of 11:00 a.m.: At West 4th station, They get a few double-takes as people watch them negotiate their way through the turnstiles 11:05 a.m.: We’re trying to get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art but the trains are screwed up and we forget to get off at 42nd S and walk through the Diamond District.11:15 a.m.: “What’s with the handcuffs guys?” shouts a grinning guy standing in front of a jewelry shop. “ 11:25 a.m.: No buses in sight. Damn, it’s cold. Nick decides to hail a cab and jerks Mary out into the street. He flags one down. The cabbie smiles. Why each other for years? 11:35 a.m.: We go through the security check in the Met lobby. The guards don’t comment. I don’t even think they noticed the cuffs.11:40 They’re walking fast. Shit, are they trying to ditch me? Most of the people around them appear oblivious of their circumstances. 11:42 a.m.: A grandmother chasing handcuffed couple I’ve ever seen!”11:46 a.m.: Finally, some inquisitive gazes, double-takes, and stares from guards, adults and kids strolling through the museum’s cavern exhibit “Glitter and Doom: German Portraits of the 1920s.” They appear to get into the art like everyone else–reading and looking. One guy stares intently at Nick and Mary, the the couple in handcuffs.” She doesn’t believe him. “They’re wearing handcuffs,” he smiles. She scurries over to check them out.12:10 p.m.: Just as they’re getting into the art, I inf destination. 12:20 p.m.: We walk down 5th to the Central Park Petting Zoo, otherwise known as the Tisch Children’s Zoo at 64th Street. 12:35 p.m.: We stroll to the aquarium tanks, then the approaches: “She wants to know why you’re handcuffed.” Mary says “It’s our job.” Dad, “She’s not buying it.” 12:45 p.m.: Mary’s cold. No surprise there. Her coat is half off, the woolen hoodie i stand in the sun to try and get warm.12:50 p.m.: I use the bathroom; Nick and Mary claim they don’t have to go.1:16 p.m.: A couple, tourists from London, pose for photos poking their heads through the plight in stride, though the guy is keen on the real scoop. The girl asks: “Have you been to the Empire State? I don’t think they’d let you up there with those.”Mary: “Yeah, they’d think we were terrorists We head down 5th Ave. on the bus. Are New Yorkers and even tourists so jaded they think nothing of a handcuffed couple riding the bus? They get a few polite stares, some smiles, a few giggles, and some whisp next activities: “Yoga, couples’ massage, oh, I know, a Turkish bath, jump rope class, shopping, movies…I think we should swim laps or go snorkeling in a pool. How about a trampoline? Maybe synchronized swimmin bus at Union Square and Nick and Mary choose Max Brenner. It’s packed, the place is busy and no one really cares about the cuffs.2:45 p.m. They’re sipping do-it-yourself hot chocolates from special straws and re hand and loses control of his fork to his amusement. Both try not to drink water so they don’t have to use the bathroom. Both insist they don’t have to go despite being out since 10 a.m. in the cold and drinking this,” Mary says quickly with a smile, but “It could be worse.” “It could be,” Nick says, “although it hasn’t been that bad.” I can’t decide whether he’s joking or not. Nick: It really hasn’t been that bad. Mary: ‘Survivor.’Nick: Yeah, I’m not into that. Well the cold is a little like ‘Survivor.’ We were joking about giving up, just giving in.Nick: I think it would be weirder if you weren’t here.Tobi: If I wasn’t here? Oh think the first half hour would have been very awkward but after that we’d have been okay. It would have been very different.Tobi: But if I wasn’t here there would be no story. I mean, it could have been a scavenger have been really annoyed if we went to yoga. I wouldn’t have participated.Tobi: Yeah, well people go to yoga to relax. It would have been fun…Nick: Maybe for you. But I would have looked like a dork.Tobi: It’d be like known what we were getting ourselves into? Tobi: It wouldn’t have worked without the element of surprise. Nick: Why not? I don’t know that I would have done it…I don’t think there was ever enough discomfort between us…Ma known you were going to be handcuffed to a stranger? Mary: I don’t know, I probably would have still done it. Nick: Did you guys have a backup plan had we not been willing to do this?Tobi: Yeah, there were some backup plan p.m.: We leave Max Brenner’s and head down to 12th and University Place.3:50 p.m.: Bowlmor Lanes. Strike zone: Lane 16. The speakers throb with the strains of 80s music from Elvis Costello and Roxy Music. The kids from the f strong right arm. She bends down, lowers the ball, taking Nick with her. She’s got a few good shots. Nick is forced to bowl left-handed which isn’t so great. They bob and weave and spin. It looks fun. 4:30 p.m.: Taxi to massage greeted by the stern-faced proprietor of the Chinese massage joint who claims not to know about our 5 p.m. appointment after he sees the cuffs.4:45 p.m.: I try to explain that we made an appointment. “No appointment,” he says, lo bathroom. They head into the single-room, unisex restroom. 4:55 p.m.: When they emerge, a guy in the small waiting area is grinning, a woman is dumb-founded. Mary claims not to have gone to the bathroom. Between the cold and coffee down the street to another massage place.5:30 p.m.: Nick and Mary head into the darkened room for a couple’s massage. They’re face down on tables, their tethered arms outstretched. It looks like a good stretch. The women are giggling We head down to Sweet and Vicious at 5 Spring St. for drinks and a debrief.6:05 p.m.: Mary: I thought there was a slight chance that it was going to be more like a focus group kind of thing, like finding out about our readers. Nick: I did was fun following Nick and Mary around all day documenting the experience, their observations, and reactions to being handcuffed. Of course, most of the time I felt like an appendage they were trying to get rid of. These two seemed to take get go, whether they were pissed off about the cuffs or not, Nick and Mary appeared to actually like one another, sharing similar interests in art, music, and nightlife and easily reeling off arcane non-sequiturs. Nick seemed to lead and Mary never really know. This pair seemed to work their appearance like contestants on a reality show—posing for the camera, me, each other, and playing all of us in their own low-key way.10:05 a.m.: Grey Dog Café. Mary walks in sporting a relaxed and asks me. I tell her something vague about LVHRD MGZN. Signs of uncertainty slowly creep across her face. She still seems uncertain but game, in a way.10:10 a.m.: Nick joins us prompting another round of introductions. Chantal explains the purpose going out and participating in various activities throughout the day and that I’ll be their guide. But wait! There’s a caveat. “You’ll be wearing these today,” she says, pulling the cuffs out. 10:33 a.m.: Nick stares into the middle-distance. Mary we what they’re feeling. Hey, we just met them. There are a few awkward attempts at conversation. Weird looks dart across the table from me to the staff, who stare at the table. 10:35 a.m.: Chantal places a cuff onto Nick’s right wrist and Mary’s left—both a You’ll spend the day connected to your partner while participating in activities that will help you earn the key to your freedom. The challenge of completing these activities while connected, not to mention negotiating the mundane tasks associated with ever negotiate, and ultimately solve problems. The key that will release you will materialize at 6.00 PM. You will be accompanied by a writer and a photographer. Enjoy your day.10:55 a.m.: Mary, Nick, and I walk slowly to the West 4th Street subway. They seem unce They get a few double-takes as people watch them negotiate their way through the turnstiles and down the stairs to the platform. 11:05 a.m.: We’re trying to get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art but the trains are screwed up and we forget to get off at 42nd St shouts a grinning guy standing in front of a jewelry shop. “We’re protesting the war,” Mary retorts. 11:25 a.m.: No buses in sight. Damn, it’s cold. Nick decides to hail a cab and jerks Mary out into the street. He flags one down. The cabbie smiles. Why does it loo guards don’t comment. I don’t even think they noticed the cuffs.11:40: a.m. Nick guides Mary to the Egyptian wing. They’re walking fast. Shit, are they trying to ditch me? Most of the people around them appear oblivious of their circumstances. 11:42 a.m.: A grandmo some inquisitive gazes, double-takes, and stares from guards, adults and kids strolling through the museum’s cavernous corridors. 11:52 a.m.: Nick steers them to the exhibit “Glitter and Doom: German Portraits of the 1920s.” They appear to get into the art like everyo “go check out the couple in handcuffs.” She doesn’t believe him. “They’re wearing handcuffs,” he smiles. She scurries over to check them out.12:10 p.m.: Just as they’re getting into the art, I inform Nick and Mary that we have to leave for the next destination. 12:20 p. Street. 12:35 p.m.: Weroll to the aquarium tanks, then the alpacas, goats, and pigs. A father with his young daughter approaches: “She wants to know why you’re handcuffed.” Mary says “It’s our job.” Dad, “She’s not buying it.” 12:45 p.m.: Mary’s cold. No surprise there. H We stand in the sun to try and get warm.12:50 p.m.: I use the bathroom; Nick and Mary claim they don’t have to go.1:16 p.m.: A couple, tourists from London, pose for photos poking their heads through the little bunny rabbit models. They seem to take Nick and Mary’s plight in Empire State? I don’t think they’d let you up there with those.”Mary: “Yeah, they’d think we were terrorists or something.”1:35 p.m.: Hungry, Nick and Mary decide on lunch. We head down 5th Ave. on the bus. Are New Yorkers and even tourists so jaded they think nothing of a han giggles, and some whispers but no real questions.1:45 p.m.: Mary starts guessing at the next activities: “Yoga, couples’ massage, oh, I know, a Turkish bath, jump rope class, shopping, movies…I think we should swim laps or go snorkeling in a pool. How about a trampoline? Maybe s off the bus at Union Square and Nick and Mary choose Max Brenner. It’s packed, the place is busy and no one really cares about the cuffs.2:45 p.m. They’re sipping do-it-yourself hot chocolates from special straws and relaxing. Nick digs into his salad awkwardly—eating with this le drink water so they don’t have to use the bathroom. Both insist they don’t have to go despite being out since 10 a.m. in the cold and drinking coffee. 2:47 p.m.: I ask them what they’re idea of romance is. “Not this,” Mary says quickly with a smile, but “It could be worse.” “It coul decide whether he’s joking or not. Nick: It really hasn’t been that bad. Mary: It’s not like we’re eating bugs or anything.Tobi: Yeah, it’s not like ‘Survivor.’Nick: Yeah, I’m not into that. Well the cold is a little like ‘Survivor.’ We were joking about giving up, just giving in.Nick: I wasn’t here? Oh like, ‘here are the activities, I’ll see you in five hours.’Nick: I think the first half hour would have been very awkward but after that we’d have been okay. It would have been very different.Tobi: But if I wasn’t here there would be no story. I mean, it could have been various points but…Nick: I would have been really annoyed if we went to yoga. I wouldn’t have participated.Tobi: Yeah, well people go to yoga to relax. It would have been fun…Nick: Maybe for you. But I would have looked like a dork.Tobi: It’d be like Twister. Nick: How do you think this wo were getting ourselves into? Tobi: It wouldn’t have worked without the element of surprise. Nick: Why not? I don’t know that I would have done it…I don’t think there was ever enough discomfort between us…Mary: What are you trying to say? Nick: Would you have done it had you known you were go Mary: I don’t know, I probably would have still done it. Nick: Did you guys have a backup plan had we not been willing to do this?Tobi: Yeah, there were some backup plans. Mary: Yeah, like what if there was resistance or violence?Laughter…3:05 p.m.: We leave Max Brenner’s and head down to 12t p.m.: Bowlmor Lanes. Strike zone: Lane 16. The speakers throb with the strains of 80s music from Elvis Costello and Roxy Music. The kids from the family to the left of us are staring.3:55 p.m.: Mary turns out to have a strong right arm. She bends down, lowers the ball, taking Nick with her. She’s shots. Nick is forced to bowl left-handed which isn’t so great. They bob and weave and spin. It looks fun. 4:30 p.m.: Taxi to massage place. They seem excited.4:40 p.m.: We arrive at 215 Mulberry St. and are greeted by the stern-faced proprietor of the Chinese massage joint who claims not to know a our 5 p.m. appointment after he sees the cuffs.4:45 p.m.: I try to explain that we made an appointment. “No appointment,” he says, looking at this book. “No appointment.” 4:50 p.m.: Nick caves—he has to use the bathroom. They head into the single-room, unisex restroom. 4:55 p.m.: When they emerge, a guy in the small waiting area is grinning, a woman is dumb-founded. Mary claims not to have gone to the bathroom. Between the cold and coffee and hot chocolate consumed, I have trouble believing it. 5:10 p.m.: We head down the street to another massage place.5:30 p.m.: Nick and Mary head into the darkened room for a couple’s massage. They’re face down on tables, their tethered arms outstretched. It looks like a good stretch. The women are giggling and chattering in Chinese. 6 p.m.: Nick and Mary emerge totally relaxed, woozy. We head down to Sweet and Vicious at 5 Spring St. for drinks and a debrief.6:05 p.m.: Mary: I thought there was a slight chance that it was going to be more like a focus group kind of thing, like finding out about our readers. Nick: I did it for curiosity’s sake. Curiosity makes me do a lot of stupid things. ++++It was fun following Nick and Mary around all day documenting the experience, their observations, and reactions to being handcuffed. Of course, most of the time I felt like an appendage they were trying to get rid of. These two seemed to take it all in stride, reveling in the attention, going along and getting along. From the get go, whether they were pissed off about the cuffs or not, Nick and Mary appeared to actually like one another, sharing similar interests in art, music, and nightlife and easily reeling off arcane non-sequiturs. Nick seemed to lead and Mary willingly followed but was it all just a ruse for the writer and photographers? We’ll never really know. This pair seemed to work their appearance like contestants on a reality show—posing for the camera, me, each other, and playing all of us in their own low-key way. 10:05 a.m.: Grey Dog Café. Mary walks in sporting a relaxed and open demeanor. Introductions are made around the table. Coffee is ordered. “What’s this about?” she asks me. I tell her something vague about LVHRD MGZN. Signs of uncertainty slowly creep across her face. She still seems uncertain but game, in a way.10:10 a.m.: Nick joins us prompting another round of introductions. Chantal explains the purpose of the day; I chime in. Nick’s demeanor turns cloudy. 10: 30 a.m.: Chantal tells the pair that they’ll be going out and participating in various activities throughout the day and that I’ll be their guide. But wait! There’s a caveat. “You’ll be wearing these today,” she says, pulling the cuffs out. 10:33 a.m.: Nick stares into the middle-distance. Mary wears a blank expression. Both look at one another with nervous smiles and stunned silence. No one pretends to know what they’re feeling. Hey, we just met them. There are a few awkward attempts at conversation. Weird looks dart across the table from me to the staff, who stare at the table. 10:35 a.m.: Chantal places a cuff onto Nick’s right wrist and Mary’s left—both are right-handed) as she reads the preamble:You’ve been selected by LVHRD to participate in an experience retreat. You’ll spend the day connected to your partner while participating in activities that will help you earn the key to your freedom. The challenge of completing these activities while connected, not to mention negotiating the mundane tasks associated with everyday life, will be the foil for the focus of your day: how we get to know another person, learn to get along with them, negotiate, and ultimately solve problems. The key that will release you will materialize at 6.00 PM. You will be accompanied by a writer and a photographer. Enjoy your day.10:55 a.m.: Mary, Nick, and I walk slowly to the West 4th Street subway. They seem uncertain but resigned to their fate. They swap idle bits of conversation, get-to-know you banter. 11:00 a.m.: At West 4th station, They get a few double-takes as people watch them negotiate their way through the turnstiles and down the stairs to the platform. 11:05 a.m.: We’re trying to get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art but the trains are screwed up and we forget to get off at 42nd St. to switch lines. So we decide to get out and walk through the Diamond District.11:15 a.m.: “What’s with the handcuffs guys?” shouts a grinning guy standing in front of a jewelry shop. “We’re protesting the war,” Mary retorts. 11:25 a.m.: No buses in sight. Damn, it’s cold. Nick decides to hail a cab and jerks Mary out into the street. He flags one down. The cabbie smiles. Why does it look like Nick and Mary have known each other for years? 11:35 a.m.: We go through the security check in the Met lobby. The guards don’t comment. I don’t even think they noticed the cuffs.11:40: a.m. Nick guides Mary to the Egyptian wing. They’re walking fast. Shit, are they trying to ditch me? Most of the people around them appear oblivious of their circumstances. 11:42 a.m.: A grandmother chasing after her grandson smiles, “they’re the cutest handcuffed couple I’ve ever seen!”11:46 a.m.: Finally, some inquisitive gazes, double-takes, and stares from guards, adults and kids strolling through the museum’s cavernous corridors. 11:52 a.m.: Nick steers them to the exhibit “Glitter and Doom: German Portraits of the 1920s.” They appear to get into the art like everyone else–reading and looking. One guy stares intently at Nick and Mary, then runs nearby to tell his girlfriend to “go check out the couple in handcuffs.” She doesn’t believe him. “They’re wearing handcuffs,” he smiles. She scurries over to check them out.12:10 p.m.: Just as they’re getting into the art, I inform Nick and Mary that we have to leave for the next destination. 12:20 p.m.: We walk down 5th to the Central Park Petting Zoo, otherwise known as the Tisch Children’s Zoo at 64th Street. 12:35 p.m.: We stroll to the aquarium tanks, then the alpacas, goats, and pigs. A father with his young daughter approaches: “She wants to know why you’re handcuffed.” Mary says “It’s our job.” Dad, “She’s not buying it.” 12:45 p.m.: Mary’s cold. No surprise there. Her coat is half off, the woolen hoodie is barely on and she’s wearing only a short-sleeved sweater. We stand in the sun to try and get warm.12:50 p.m.: I use the bathroom; Nick and Mary claim they don’t have to go.1:16 p.m.: A couple, tourists from London, pose for photos poking their heads through the little bunny rabbit models. They seem to take Nick and Mary’s plight in stride, though the guy is keen on the real scoop. The girl asks: “Have you been to the Empire State? I don’t think they’d let you up there with those.”Mary: “Yeah, they’d think we were terrorists or something.”1:35 p.m.: Hungry, Nick and Mary decide on lunch. We head down 5th Ave. on the bus. Are New Yorkers and even tourists so jaded they think nothing of a handcuffed couple riding the bus? They get a few polite stares, some smiles, a few giggles, and some whispers but no real questions.1:45 p.m.: Mary starts guessing at the next activities: “Yoga, couples’ massage, oh, I know, a Turkish bath, jump rope class, shopping, movies…I think we should swim laps or go snorkeling in a pool. How about a trampoline? Maybe synchronized swimming?” Nick’s not amused. Everyone’s hungry.2:06 p.m.: We hop off the bus at Union Square and Nick and Mary choose Max Brenner. It’s packed, the place is busy and no one really cares about the cuffs.2:45 p.m. They’re sipping do-it-yourself hot chocolates from special straws and relaxing. Nick digs into his salad awkwardly—eating with this left hand and loses control of his fork to his amusement. Both try not to drink water so they don’t have to use the bathroom. Both insist they don’t have to go despite being out since 10 a.m. in the cold and drinking coffee. 2:47 p.m.: I ask them what they’re idea of romance is. “Not this,” Mary says quickly with a smile, but “It could be worse.” “It could be,” Nick says, “although it hasn’t been that bad.” I can’t decide whether he’s joking or not. Nick: It really hasn’t been that bad. Mary: It’s not like we’re eating bugs or anything.Tobi: Yeah, it’s not like ‘Survivor.’Nick: Yeah, I’m not into that. Well the cold is a little like ‘Survivor.’ We were joking about giving up, just giving in.Nick: I think it would be weirder if you weren’t here.Tobi: If I wasn’t here? Oh like, ‘here are the activities, I’ll see you in five hours.’Nick: I think the first half hour would have been very awkward but after that we’d have been okay. It would have been very different.Tobi: But if I wasn’t here there would be no story. I mean, it could have been a scavenger hunt where you’re asked to check in at various points but…Nick: I would have been really annoyed if we went to yoga. I wouldn’t have participated.Tobi: Yeah, well people go to yoga to relax. It would have been fun…Nick: Maybe for you. But I would have looked like a dork.Tobi: It’d be like Twister. Nick: How do you think this would have been different had we known what we were getting ourselves into? Tobi: It wouldn’t have worked without the element of surprise. Nick: Why not? I don’t know that I would have done it…I don’t think there was ever enough discomfort between us…Mary: What are you trying to say? Nick: Would you have done it had you known you were going to be handcuffed to a stranger? Mary: I don’t know, I probably would have still done it. Nick: Did you guys have a backup plan had we not been willing to do this?Tobi: Yeah, there were e backup plans. Mary: Yeah, like what if there was resistance or violence?Laughter…3:05 p.m.: We leave Max Brenner’s and head down to 12th and University Place.3:50 p.m.: Bowlmor Lanes. Strike zone: Lane 16. The speakers throb with the strains s music from Elvis Costello and Roxy Music. The kids from the family to the left of us are staring.3:55 p.m.: Mary turns out to have a strong right arm. She bends down, lowers the ball, taking Nick with her. She’s got a few good shots. Nick is to bowl left-handed which isn’t so great. They bob and weave and spin. It looks fun. 4:30 p.m.: Taxi to massage place. They seem excited.4:40 p.m.: We arrive at 215 Mulberry St. and are greeted by the stern-faced proprietor of the Chinese joint who claims not to know about our 5 p.m. appointment after he sees the cuffs.4:45 p.m.: I try to explain that we made an appointment. “No appointment,” he says, looking at this book. “No appointment.” 4:50 p.m.: Nick caves—he has to use the m. They head into the single-room, unisex restroom. 4:55 p.m.: When they emerge, a guy in the small waiting area is grinning, a woman is dumb-founded. Mary claims not to have gone to the bathroom. Between the cold and coffee and hot chocolate d, I have trouble believing it. 5:10 p.m.: We head down the street to another massage place.5:30 p.m.: Nick and Mary head into the darkened room for a couple’s massage. They’re face down on tables, their tethered arms outstretched. It looks good stretch. The women are giggling and chattering in Chinese. 6 p.m.: Nick and Mary emerge totally relaxed, woozy. We head down to Sweet and Vicious at 5 Spring St. for drinks and a debrief.6:05 p.m.: Mary: I thought there was a slight nce that it was going to be more like a focus group kind of thing, like finding out about our readers. Nick: I did it for curiosity’s sake. Curiosity makes me do a lot of stupid things. ++++It was fun following Nick and Mary around all day documenting the experience, their observations, and reactions to being handcuffed. Of course, most of the time I felt like an appendage they were trying to get rid of. These two seemed to take it all in stride, reveling in the attention, going along and getting along. From the get go, whether they were pissed off about the cuffs or not, Nick and Mary appeared to actually like one another, sharing similar interests in art, music, and nightlife and easily reeling off arcane non-sequiturs. Nick seemed to lead and Mary willingly followed but was it all just a ruse for the writer and photographers? We’ll never really know. This pair seemed to work their appearance like contestants on a reality show—posing for the camera, me, each other, and playing all of us in their own low-key way.10:05 a.m.: Grey Dog Café. Mary walks in sporting a relaxed and open demeanor. Introductions are made around the table. Coffee is ordered. “What’s this about?” she asks me. I tell her something vague about LVHRD MGZN. Signs of uncertainty slowly creep across her face. She still seems uncertain but game, in a way.10:10 a.m.: Nick joins us prompting another round of introductions. Chantal explains the purpose of the day; I chime in. Nick’s demeanor turns cloudy. 10: 30 a.m.: Chantal tells the pair that they’ll be going out and participating in various activities throughout the day and that I’ll be their guide.

10 A.m. Group meets at Grey

Dog Café on Carmine Street. Mary, Nick, Tobi (the writer), a photographer, a videographer, and Chantal Strauss (LVHRD emissary).

10:05 a.m. Mary walks up

looking relaxed and open. We make introductions and order coffee. “What’s this about?” she asks me. I tell her something vague about LVHRD MGZN. She looks uncertain, but still game.

10:10 a.m. Nick joins us,

prompting another round of introductions. Chantal explains the day’s purpose. Nick’s demeanor turns cloudy.

10:20 a.m. Coffee, bagels, a piece of cake and a muffin. Everyone eats nervously.

10:30 a.m. Chantal tells the

pair that they’ll be going out and participating in various activities throughout the day and that I’ll be their guide. But wait! There’s a caveat. I slide an envelope across the table.

“You’ll be wearing these today,” she says, pulling out a pair of cuffs.

10:33 a.m. Nick stares into the middle-distance. Mary wears a blank expression. They both look stunned. No one pretends to know what they’re feeling. There are a few awkward attempts at conversation. Weird looks dart across the table. I look at our waiter, who stares at the table.

10:35 a.m. Chantal puts a

cuff on Nick’s right wrist and Mary’s left (both are

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right-handed) as she reads the preamble:

You’ve been selected by LVHRD to participate in an experience retreat. This retreat will be the focus of a feature in the upcoming issue of the LVHRD MGZN. You’ll spend the day connected to your partner while participating in activities that will help you earn the key to your freedom. The challenge of completing these activities while connected, not to mention negotiating the mundane tasks associated with everyday life, will be the foil for the focus of your day: how we get to know another person, learn to get along with them, negotiate, and ultimately solve problems. The key that will release you will materialize at 6.00 PM. You will be accompanied by a writer and a photographer. Enjoy your day.

10:45 a.m. A weird curtain of silence. Everyone stands up to leave Grey Dog, which is crowded with patrons taking breakfast, reading the paper, etc.

TOBI ELKIN

10:50 a.m. Mary struggles

to put her hoodie on her available arm and tries to slip on her coat. Neither works so well considering the circumstances so she improvises, tying the hoodie string to the slack coat arm to keep both from coming off. Nick, in a track jacket unsuccessfully attempts to put his coat on and eventually decides to carry it. Group exits the Grey Dog; Mark films video confessionals in front of the cafe. Both appear, at least, to be taking their new status in stride. Mary asks where we’re headed.

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Tobi Elkin is editor-atlarge at MediaPost where she covers digital media, marketing, advertising and emerging multimedia. She has written for the Associated Press, AOL Diet & Fitness, Heeb, The Huffington Post, Nerve, The Robb Report and Verbicide. She also documents the detritus of daily life on flickr and is at work on a short story collection. Her new blog “The Eavesdropper’s Journal” highlights shards of conversation she picks up in public places.


DOUBLE ANCHOR

p h otos s e r i e s by l e o z ac h a r i as Leo Zacharias lives in black and white. We’re glad he shoots in color. He came to New York from São Paulo in 2001 “with the dream of playing metal,” a perfectly idiosyncratic dream to bring to NY, and to take away from Brazil, where Grindcore is the opposite of music. In some ways, Leo is the opposite of Brazilian. “I probably would be dead,” he says to what he would be doing if he were still in São Paulo , a question aimed more at his professional prospects. He is violently anti-drug, anti-pop, and anti-theistic. He wonders aloud if, had he stayed in Brazil, he might have taken his rage at the cartels and drug violence into the streets. Leo’s photography is an impulse in the opposite direction, all about creating, friends, community, agreement. He started taking pictures when his extremism (well, skateboarding) landed him on the sidelines. “Every time I sprained my ankle or something I was just taking pictures of my friends riding. That’s how it started.” His life feels like a story of severe decisions made in the face of unacceptable injustices in the world, the space in between bridged with a camera. How appropriate that in these doubleexposure photographs, shot at M1-5 in Tribeca during LVHRD ACTHRD: Thespian Royale, he has taken two pictures, and let the film blend the scene together.

NICHOLAS HALL


Allegra Riggio and Jymmi Lindsey

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Chris DeRome

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Liz Tan and Alanna Rios

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Christopher Franzese

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Pedro Mendes and Rita Sa

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Doug Jaeger

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PLYLST

e th a sh come st i M C’ e be y pa d n v an ha t ma e 2, k u a ab ac ss r a e Sn le L ure I at s e r t b l J h o x a e D t F i t ge at r rn ar f ts. o u t T h n l ve lled gs t . gu e e r r n u D HR ve p f so umbe V L n o ’ c ey ist i h g t a l ay at m l p th o t of

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SOUND VISION ANCHOR

On a chilly January night, Mia Riddle stepped

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up to the mic in Park Slope’s rococo Union Hall, knocking yet another audience out with her

Mia Riddle and Her Band are currently eating a lot of snacks on producer Rod Sherwood’s couch, while he records their new EP. See them perform at their release party at Union Hall in Brooklyn on May 23rd.

unpretentious yet clever and touching songs. But it is her voice that immediately draws an audience in: warm, even soothing, but with a sly allure. And a strong voice as well, although unlike the Kelly Clarksons of the world she doesn’t waste a note of it on hyperbolic diva behavior. A great voice can be ruined by self-consciousness, but Ms. Riddle sings with confidence and a raw, cards-on-the-table fragility that somehow makes her seem stronger. Add to that the interplay between Riddle and Her Band, who share the spotlight in a refreshingly generous way. Guitarist Dan Barry backs Mia with admirable hooks, inventive soloing, and a gentle harmony

MIA RIDDLE & HER BAND

vocal that’s good enough to lead its own band. Drummer David Tarica plays with real generosity:

not showy but obviously talented, he plays a big kit gently or a small improvised kit as a full one. Laurel Wells fills in about a dozen musical gaps with ease, not only playing a variety of instruments but even designing her own dresses. A standout act with a bright future, Mia Riddle and Her Band are stars in the making.

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steve roberts

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Jen Dunlap is breaking visual art down to its core: the inky cores of magic markers and other mass-produced art supplies are taken out of their normal plastic casings, soaked in water and

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used directly on paper, resulting in an intriguing palette somewhere between watercolor, acrylic and airbrush. Her novel approach to her materials allows for vivid color and slight transparencies through to the canvas

“I create experience-centered art shows because I think it helps people look at art in new and exciting ways. I want art to be interesting, captivating, and attainable to people, something that remains a positive force in their lives.” JENNIFER DUNLAP

(or wood, as is the

JENNIFER DUNLAP

case in “brabie”) without the dissimilarities becoming distracting. The wet marker cores combined with detailed line drawing provide striking contrast. At first blush, the paintings might be seen as pure abstraction, but image and form clearly comes through. Though figurative, the dimensions of images are warped, surreally sliding off the canvas. Though a comparison to older schools would be pushing it, Dunlap’s pseudo-abstraction is too fluid for surrealist comparison and too clean for abstract expressionism. The brightness and cartoon-like color are reminiscent of graffiti, and it’s no surprise that the artist has been tapped to work in such varied fields as skateboard design and music video direction (most memorably for NYC’s Apes and Androids.) Ms. Dunlap is clearly as versatile as she is inventive, and with these newer works she appears to be confidently stepping into the vanguard. steve roberts

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The evening I dropped in on Merge there was

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live music, booze, interactive art and live dance by DEDOS with expectant mother Lisa Gough. Kristian Adam & Milan Basic painted live in front of a diverse

MERGE: A COLLABORATION SHOW FEBRUARY 2, 2007 DWNTWN VNCVR LIVE PAINTING BY KRISTIAN ADAM & MILAN BASIC  AYDEN GALLERY

crowd, most of whom were enjoying a combination of local beers and vodka Red Bulls. Amongst all the

MERGING IN VANCOUVER Vancouver’s nightlife has been pegged as slow, lifeless

ing, the gallery was filled with amazing art and a sea of creative locals viewing the collaborative overlapping efforts. The energy

and definitely not NYC. Despite these disparaging reports, Vancouver

at Merge was high. Amidst the

has been growing at a strong and steady pace for the last four years.

endless chatter and card swap-

Looking towards the anticipated, if not over-budgeted 2010 Winter

ping, some of the evenings

Olympics, everyone is hopping on the nightlife bandwagon in hopes

works were sold. For gallery

of giving Vancouver a stamp of culture. Galleries, department stores,

owner Kenneth Lum, the evening

and clubs have been providing the ammunition for a makeover to

was reassuring. He came away

Vancouver’s East Side. Hopefully the emergence of an authentic and

from Merge looking to the future,

sustained creative core in Vancouver will lead people to think of it

towards another international

as more than just a lovely, overpriced, condo-city of glass, where the

collaboration, or maybe a duel of

streets are full of falling leaves and everyone wears galoshes.

creative minds, in the little town-

Within this bubbling pot of art and style there are several key people, galleries and collaborations that make going out in Vancouver today a heck of a lot more fun. A select bunch of artists from Vancouver, San Francisco, LA, Toronto and London have linked up to create some killer pieces of work at what is now known as ‘Merge,’ the latest show at the Ayden Gallery.

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dancing, painting, and drink-

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of-Vancouver-that-could. chrystale thompson jordan todd

PhotogRAPHY by


DTD

1 Find old satellite dish 2 Disassemble dish and remove screening 3 Weave rope 4 Hang satellite hammock

AN ATTEMPT TO REVIVE OUTDATE TECHNOLOGY. The majesty of your 22 lb. VCR has probably worn off by now. Television has gone from the rabbit ears, to cable, to satellite, back to cable, and perhaps back to satellite again. New iPods and cell phones hit the shelves, roughly, every four weeks and your computer may as well be a Romney Wordsworth 9000 (Obsolete! Obsolete!). You are blessed with a dilemma, throw out these dead or outdated technologies or devise a plan to keep them alive, no matter how silly their new purpose. It’s not a new idea; the planned obsolescence of recent years has merely created a sense of urgency that wasn’t there before. So you can either complain and continue to throw your money away, or strike back with creativity and design. One of the smallest and quickest reinventions is the cell phone picture frame. Old camera phones easily become electronic picture frames. Fashioning an older phone into a frame is far more fun. Using any tool you like split open the phone and put a small photograph where the display is. Now, you’ve gotten all the old cell phones out of your desk drawer. Designer and LVHRD member, Jennifer Daniel doesn’t accept the death of technology around her. Instead of allowing friends and coworkers to throw away their old keyboards, she disassembles them and creates custom jewelry. For a small fee you can have your initials dangling from your ears or neck in keyboard form. For the more ambitious and comfort seeking builder, the satellite hammock is a solid project. Despite the name, it is not a chair that you would find at IKEA, rather a hammock made out

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of an actual satellite dish. We have all seen a massive, ten-foot in diameter, satellite dish in someone’s yard while driving through a suburb. But not many have thought to point it upwards, hang it from their porch with heavy gauge wire(or better yet, their living room ceiling to watch television; oh, the irony!) and fill it with pillows. It’s a comfortable way to recoup the $10,000 installation fee your parents paid back in 1975. The perfect companion to the satellite hammock is a creation by LVHRD member, Ezra Bookstein, known as the Artnenna. Constructed out of twelve rabbit ear antennae, it can be reshaped and molded as often as you like.  Finally you’ll be playing with those metal rods for enjoyment instead of battling with them for decent reception. While relaxing in your new hammock and playing with your Artenna, you could listen to the sounds of Treewave. A Dallas band that utilizes two 80’s era home computers, an Atari 2600 and an ancient 1985 Epson dot matrix printer as their instruments. As you can see, anything can be made out of anything. So don’t throw out your old smoke detectors, you can build a working nuclear reactor with the uranium inside and power your building. Empty Double Gulp cups can be fashioned into night lights. Two double-A batteries and a bread tie can light a cigarette in a prison cell. Inside us all dwells a Cuban auto mechanic, working hard to keep the old alive in our hearts and homes. MICHAEL GARRIDO illustration by elizabeth tan & jennifer daniel

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LVHRD MGZN ISSUE 2