Truth Seeker by luik.elisabeth

Chapter 1 Every morning the same routine, except the weekends. My head was getting crazy from all of this 6:30-am-wakings. I couldn’t even bring my mind to a calm state because yesterday’s events were bubbling up in my already dumb head. My eyes felt swollen and I was extremely cold. I wrapped my blanket tighter around my tiny body and took a long breath. I shouldn’t have tried that mascara, that’s probably why my eyes are swollen, I thought to myself. My mum was so angry. Like so-so angry. I had lied to her countless and countless times and I think she was already getting tired from this crap. It felt like two seconds that I had lied here, but my alarm clock showed 6:45 so I quickly got up, still shivering from the cold. I slid myself in my uniform that I hated so much and combed my hair, throwing it in a quick ponytail. Somehow puberty had taken the best of me and a huge pimple had formed itself on my forehead. I knew mum would be downstairs making breakfast, so I tiptoed to her bedroom. I needed concealer like ASAP, because I couldn’t go to school with this huge irritated pimple. Finally, finding a somewhat foundation type of thing, I rubbed it on the pimple, not even caring that the foundation was like, two shades darker than my skin tone. I stormed downstairs, throwing my bag in the nearest corner of the living room and taking a seat on the kitchen stool. My mum pushed the lunch box towards me, avoiding eye contact with me. This had happened pretty many times, but this time I was extremely guilty and it felt so wrong. I wanted to smash my head against the wall or just disappear for a few months and come back with everything being okay, but this is life and this is not possible. Something needed to change or I needed to change. “When is this going to end?” she finally asked. And honestly, I had the same question. I played with my fingers, looking down at my hands. I tried not to look at her because I was so ashamed. “I’m trying okay?” I replied. Was I really though? “Are you really? Really, May? Burning schools trash bins? This is dangerous! You are out of your mind!” Her quiet voice raised in the end. She was right. I clearly was out of my mind.

School was a literal hell as well. So much homework, so many tests and so many angry teachers. I wonder if they themselves have problems that they are so aggressive? Perhaps so. As I was walking down the hallway, Sophie walked up to me, giggling like a little baby. “Mrs. Wood is so not liking us! That’s why her last name is Wood, she’s so stiff in the head!” Sophie couldn’t stop laughing. I tried to laugh along but honestly this wasn’t really funny to me, especially because she was probably going to tease me, tease us with marks now. We had two weeks of school left and this year is probably the worst out of them all, I didn’t even have time to study thanks to these friends. My marks had dropped a lot and I definitely had no clue how I was supposed to survive the next year. I tried to kind of get up from my knees so I studied till 1am and it had a huge effect on how I was feeling today. Art class was boring. Mr. Collin was definitely an art person. The way he spoke and admired every topic we took was just spectacular. To me, art seemed boring. Not every art is boring, but the one we study seemed pointless. At the moment we didn’t paint or draw, we just took art history and we literally had to complete a test on this. Where was I going to need this? Am I gonna tell my kids about these famous artists? Hell yeah. I was bubbled up in my thoughts until I felt something hit the back of my head. A paper plane. I picked it up and looked who was the idiot to throw it at me. James had an evil smirk on his face and I was already boiled up with anger. This bastard is not even planning to grow up. I was about to fly it back at him, but Mr. Collin already yelled at me. “May. Don’t be disappointed in your marks if you’re too busy flying paper planes at other students.” He raised his eyebrow. A few students were brave enough to start laughing and this pissed me only more off. “Mr. Collin, it’s-“I began but he stopped me. “Enough. I don’t want to hear it. If you don’t want to be taken to the principal, sit down and listen.” And this was how my day went on, I tried to keep a low profile but I always seemed to get in trouble. My friends already began to piss me off and I really needed sleep. I decided to skip the two last classes, because I would’ve slept through them anyway. It wasn’t hard, my stomach ached really badly and since my eyes were already swollen, everybody believed it. As I was waiting for the bus, I felt the presence next to me. It was James. Literal hell. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked him through gritted teeth.

He let out one of his disgusting laughs and said, “I would ask you the same.” “None of your business,” I simply replied, not even looking at him. “Come on May, melt up a bit. You’re so cold against me,” he spoke. And that’s when I snapped. “Cold against you? James, look at yourself! You drag me in problems that I have absolutely nothing to do with and you expect me to melt up? Wake the hell up!” I was even out of breath after I had said that and my small hands had formed into fists. “Wow, chill up, kitten.” He chuckled and patted my shoulder. “I am not a kitten!” The bus had thankfully arrived so I quickly escaped. I knew James lived in the other direction, so I didn’t have to worry about him bothering me. When I got home, I undressed myself from the uncomfortable uniform and fell onto my bed, falling quick asleep.

Chapter 2 I woke up to the constant sound of my phone going off. It was Megan asking to hang out. Since it was summer, it wasn’t going to get dark that early and my mum had already given up on trying to get me home early so I decided to go. But remembering how Megan always gets me into trouble I wasn’t so sure. I threw on some jeans and a jumper and went out. Megan and I would meet up in the park near my house and I already saw her standing there, but with a guy? As I got closer to them I gave Megan a questioning look, but she only moved her lips, saying that she would talk about it later. “Hey,” I greeted and took a seat on the bench. “Hey. Sophie and Imogen are also coming, but we’ll meet up at the bus station,” Megan said and looked down at her phone. The mysterious guy was just casually standing next to her and assuming that they weren’t holding hands or anything they didn’t have a thing anyway. He had blonde hair, legit blonde hair and from far away you could see his bright blue eyes. He had a couple of freckles on his nose and he wore black sweatpants with a white jumper. What a guy! “Okay. Let’s get going, they’ll be there in a couple minutes.” Megan put her phone in her pocket and I nodded. As we were walking, Megan and the guy exchanged a few words and the guy whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. Wow Megan, I thought. When we arrived at the bus stop, Imogen and Sophie were already there. We greeted and talked about random gossip everybody had heard. “So, Cole, I heard that there’s a party at your place?” Sophie changed the topic. So Cole is his name. “Uh, yeah. This Saturday. It’s the school ending party, school will end this Friday anyway so I thought why not,” he chuckled. “Hmm, cool. Are we invited?” Sophie asked curiously. We better not. “Yeah, sure. You can invite some more people but don’t talk about this very loudly on social media, I already had trouble with this crap.” Well, more lying to mum. “We won’t. We’ll be there. Should we bring drinks?” Imogen asked. More trouble. “I mean you can, I already have something in there but more is more.” He laughed. Megan grinned in excitement but I didn’t. I didn’t like lying to mum but at the same time I wanted to go because school would end in two days and it would be fun. Drinking was also not a right thing to do but I just hoped she wouldn’t find out.

“Alright, me and Cole are gonna go, I’ll talk to you, guys later then.” Megan looked at me and winked. I smiled softly, “Okay, see you around.” Wow, they really have a thing. Now it was just me, Imogen and Sophie. “We should go shopping, my nerves are twitching already,” Sophie laughed. “Your nerves are always twitching.” Imogen rolled her eyes.

Chapter 3 “Ooh! I like this dress!” Sophie screamed. We had been sitting here for decades and Sophie still couldn’t decide what dress she wanted. I was getting a bit tired already, shopping was fun but not with people who always complained. “Come on, show us!” I could hear Imogen being annoyed in her voice. Sophie opened the curtains and gave us a spin. She was wearing a tight black body hugging dress. That was too revealing, but Imogen really liked the dress so I decided not to push my disagreeing motherly opinion on them and agreed with Imogen. “I’m taking it,” she said and closed the curtains. I mean, it was up to her anyway. After she had bought her dress, we didn’t do much, just went through some shops and tried on stuff we would never even buy. We ended up at Starbucks because Sophie wanted to and there we were. I didn’t take anything, not because I didn’t like coffee, but because I just wasn’t in the mood to spend money on coffee. “So, May. Are you coming to the party?” Sophie asked, sipping on her latte. “Um- I don’t know...” I traced my finger across the table, making circles because it seemed like an interesting thing to do. “Come on. You should come. Loosen up a bit, you’ve been quite stiff lately.” Imogen smiled. Loosen up? I’m loose already. I don’t want any trouble. It seemed like a two-sided thing, I kind of wanted to go because the school was over and it was a reason to celebrate, but my mum would never let me go. So I had to lie. “I’ll think about it,” I said, giving them both a reassuring smile.

Chapter 4 When I got home, I did some laundry, not feeling hungry I decided to skip dinner and went back up to my room. I cuddled up underneath my blanket and as I was feeling a bit tired, I decided to close my eyes. When I woke up, it was really dark. I was feeling a bit sick and my mouth was dry like a desert. I got up, and turned on the light. Unfortunately though, it was a bad idea because my eyes couldn’t resist the light. I rubbed my eyes for a second and checked the time. It was 2am, so I tiptoed to the kitchen. I felt like I wanted to drink all the water in this world so I drank until the dry, unhydrated feeling was gone. I went back to my room and remembered that tomorrow was Friday and school would be over. Finally. I stayed up for a short while until I fell asleep again. Next morning my mum woke me up. It was 8am, but I wasn’t mad at her for waking me up this late, because today we had to be at school at 10. My mum was leaving for work again but she didn’t seem as angry as usual. “What’s got you so happy?” I asked her, still lying in my bed. “Dad’s coming back on Monday, and we’re going on a date,” my mum said happily. It was a miracle because dad was always working and they often had fights because dad was never at home. My mum just needed attention and she needed to be taken care of. “I’m happy for you,” I smiled. I honestly didn’t want to lie to her about the party so I wanted to ask her straight forward if I could go. “Um, mum?” I called out for her because she had left my room already. She came back on the doorstep, her purse in her hand. “Yes, May?” She looked at me, giving me the hurry-up-I-need-to-go look. “School will be over you know,” I dragged my words because my heart was pounding in my chest. My mum was killing me with her questionable look so I continued, “I was wondering if I could go to a party.” My mum’s face dropped. “A party? Seriously, May?” She looked at me. My stomach dropped really hard. “Yeah, it’s a small one. Don’t worry. Plus my friends will be there as well, it’s going to be fine.”

But what was I thinking? She didn’t trust me anyway, I had lied to her way too many times. I had ruined so many things for her, for me. “You know what? I’m tired of fighting with you. You never listen to me. My answer is a no.” She snapped angrily and swiped her hair away from her face. “Think about what you have done, what you have said. Maybe you’ll understand why I’m not letting you go there.” And with that, she left.

Chapter 5 School was really boring. I didn’t get much that day and my teacher had been grumpy over my marks that had been going down the hill. I felt bad, but I already promised myself that next year would be more successful. And honestly, my marks were my problem, they weren’t as bad as some boys’ marks anyway. We got home pretty early, Imogen’s parents had invited me to lunch with their family, so I decided to go since I didn’t have much to do. We went to this cozy tiny café and sat down on the soft sofas. Imogen’s family wasn’t big. She had an older brother and a baby sister, though. Sometimes I was even jealous, because Imogen’s parents were always there for her, she was allowed to go almost anywhere and do anything she wanted. I guess it was also because her parents were busy with her little sister Lisa. We all picked what we wanted to eat, I decided on pork with sauce and rice. I just didn’t like potatoes. I got along with Imogen’s parents really well. I grew up with her family, almost. My parents had always been busy with work, so sometimes I was babysat by Imogen’s parents. I was like a stepdaughter to them. We had a casual chat about summer plans, what we wanted to do and where we wanted to go. Imogen’s family wanted to visit Los Angeles because Imogen’s grandparents lived there, so they would be staying there for a while. It was fun. After that, Imogen’s parents dropped me back home.

Chapter 6 It was Saturday. Nobody was home. It was a normal thing already. I knew mum would be home tomorrow but I didn’t make it a big deal. I didn’t do much as in terms of my appearance, I threw on some black jeans and a lacy top. I figured I didn’t want to look lazy. I brushed my hair, put on some lip gloss and I was ready to go. I checked if my phone battery was full and put on my shoes. As usual, I met up with Sophie and Imogen. Sophie was wearing the dress she had bought, her blonde hair was spread across her petite shoulders and her lips glimmered from lip gloss. Imogen was wearing black ripped jeans with a white lacy blouse and a thin bomber jacket on top of it, her brunette hair was in a high ponytail. When the bus came, we drove to the Oak station because Cole lived really close to it. Or so Sophie said. I felt a bit nervous. I didn’t want to get in trouble but I was twirling myself into this, I should’ve known what I was getting myself into. I took a deep breath telling myself that everything would sail into place. When we arrived to his place, the front yard seemed lonely. Sophie peeked over the gate, even though she was way too short. We rang the bell on the gate, and after a couple of seconds, the gate opened. When we finally walked through the gate, we could see an enormous house. The house had probably four floors, the windows were huge and bright lights surrounded the house to bring out its best features. Well maintained bushes and trees also decorated the beautiful yard. This was like a dream house. Especially in Manchester, literally nobody had these kinds of houses here. “Hey. We are in the backyard, more privacy there.” Cole smiled and led us to the backyard. There were already people there and music was playing pretty loudly. There was food on the table and yes, some drinks. I didn’t feel like this was the right place for me to be, but I couldn’t just storm away, I needed to melt in somehow. Everyone was greeting each other, laughing and smiling just like they had known each other for years. I tried to do that as well, but I couldn’t stop thinking how angry my mum could be. “You seem tensed up, you want a drink?” I could hear a girl’s voice behind me. I turned around seeing a tall and slim girl. She had long dark hair, almost black and it reached to her hips. She looked different, she had put on a lot of makeup. Her eyes were dark and her skin looked like milk, almost like it had not a single imperfection, she was really pale and she had odd piercings on her face. A brow piercing and a septum piercing.

My parents didn’t like piercings at all. When I was a little girl, I wanted a nose stud but my parents didn’t let me do it at no point. They didn’t let me do anything, so I took chances in my own hands. My grandmother always told me to live a day at once. No, I didn’t mean it in the way that I shouldn’t think about my future at all, but take your chances, make your mistakes, learn and live as long as you can. Thinking about it, made me miss her. And no, she isn’t dead but my grandfather died of leukemia. My grandmother found a new man and they moved to Germany. “Hey?” She waved her hands in front of me. I blinked a few times, snapping out of my thoughts. “Yeah, what?” I was still a bit confused. “You want a drink? You seem so tensed up. Don’t worry, it’s just beer.” She smiled and handed me the cup before I even said anything. Hell no, I didn’t like beer, it already smelled weird. I didn’t drink it, I just held it in my hand. “What’s your name?” She asked, examining me from head to toes. “May.” I replied casually. Her eyebrow raised. An odd thing I noticed was the fact, that she didn’t sound British at all. “I’m Celia. And yes, I’m French, half French.” She smiled widely, sipping her drink. Something was odd. “Did I say that out loud?” I was confused. Or did she read thoughts? “No, I can’t read thoughts and yes, you said that out loud.” She laughed. Oh my dear God. I ended up chatting with her, she was nice. She had moved to Manchester two years ago because of her dad’s business. She liked playing the piano. I felt a bit exhausted. It wasn’t very dark yet but it was getting a bit chilly and the party only seemed to be starting. Everyone danced and chatted, everyone seemed to be happy but I wasn’t. I didn’t drink much, I definitely wasn’t drunk but I felt a bit funny. I danced a bit until I heard a loud shattering and screaming. Everybody turned their heads to the house. Someone had broken the window. We went closer to the house, some blonde girl had stepped into the glass pieces and she was crying in pain. Literally nobody was on their full mind to help the girl. Some thought it was better to call the ambulance but nobody wanted to get involved with police. The girl’s leg was bleeding badly and she was in so much pain.

Some started panicking because they didn’t like blood and some just left. I needed to find Sophie and Imogen, so I tried to fit myself through the crowd and began searching for them. They were nowhere outside, so I took a look inside but someone grasped my hand. “May! Come quick, what the hell are you waiting for?!” Celia yelled. I was confused once again. “What are you talking about?” I looked at her with scared eyes.

Chapter 7 “Police will be here any minute. We have to get out of here. Now!” She grabbed my arm firmly. She pulled my arm and we ran out of the house. We already heard the sirens so we jumped into the bushes. I was badly scratched and I could feel my arm bleeding, but it didn’t matter. When the officers got out of their cars and went towards the house, we used it as our chance to escape. We ran as fast as we could, I didn’t even know where. We stopped in front of the red car, a guy sitting in it. Celia opened the door, it was like an invitation to get into the car. “I am not getting into a stranger’s car!” I shouted grumpily. “You want to get caught by the police? Buses aren’t even driving any more! I’m doing good for you. Use your chance or don’t.” She was still holding the car door opened. I sighed. What if they kidnap me? This seemed so odd but as I didn’t want to get caught by the police, I went with it. “Where are we going?” I asked almost immediately. “To my place. You are so stressed, you could use a little break.” She looked back from the front seat. A break? What did she mean? “No, we’re not going to drug you,” she laughed, “neither are we going to kidnap you.” So why am I going to their place? I had so many questions. “I just think you could use a little time away,” she talked to me from the front seat. I was getting a bit annoyed. Who was she to judge me? To tell me what I need and what’s wrong with me? “And who are you to tell me what I need? How old are you actually and who are you?” I was extremely annoyed. No reply. “You don’t know what I need and what I don’t. Maybe I want to go back home not come with you,” I kept on talking. “May.. I’m your stepsister.”

Chapter 8 The world collapsed around me. No, she can’t be. She’s French, she looks way different. This made no sense to me. “No, you’re not,” I replied calmly, panic slowly growing inside of me. I felt my hands shaking slightly. I put them into my pockets just so it wouldn’t be so visible. “This is why I’m taking you to our place. I’m telling you how things really are and why you need time away,” she said with a long sigh. This was odd. A random girl I met at a party pushed me into a car, now says that she’s my stepsister and is taking me to her place. I don’t even know what to think. I probably watched too many movies, thinking they had weapons and if I don’t listen I’m going to be hurt. I didn’t say anything. The rest of the journey was quiet. We parked in front of a large block of buildings, they were apartments probably. We went into one of the buildings, I really didn’t know what color the building was, it was pretty dark, probably a beige building. We used the lift to get to the 9 th floor and walked through a long hallway to a red door. The apartments didn’t seem old. The paint on the walls was fresh. The doors seemed new and it smelled like paint, showing that it had been renovated. The guy unlocked the door and we got in. This place didn’t look as bad as I had expected. It was a whole big room with huge windows. The kitchen and the living room were connected. To my left, there were two doors, a bathroom and a bedroom, I guessed. The apartment looked really cozy, there were many band posters on the walls and candles on almost every shelf and surface I could see. The bookshelves were filled with books, boxes and vinyl records, a vinyl player was standing next to the big bookshelf. “You can sit on the couch, make yourself feel comfortable,” she said, taking her shoes off. I also took my sneakers off and sat on a large leather couch. Celia and the guy talked for a bit, and the guy left the apartment which was weird because it was like half past one in the morning. I felt relieved, because the guy seemed really intimidating anyway. Celia sat on the couch opposite me and looked down at her hands. It was really quiet, I barely could hear anything. I didn’t say anything because I figured it’d better if I didn’t demand. She finally began speaking. 15

“I know you might have a lot of questions. Just listen to me and ask afterwards.” She didn’t look at me. “Me and you have mutual mums. Our dads however, are not mutual,” she started. “Our mum got an affair with another man. She got pregnant with his child and mum broke up with Michael, my dad. After the divorce, they decided that it would be better if I stayed with my dad and you with mum.” She talked quietly, playing with her rings on her fingers. “So, my dad and I moved to Paris. My dad got a company, earned good money and after a while, found a new woman as well. Your mum and my dad didn’t allow me to tell you about it. The family made an agreement that you wouldn’t know about this because mum and dad were so keen on creating the perfect family, but they couldn’t.” She looked out of the window deep in thought. “You might think we’re so different. We’re not. I was a wild child and when I turned 12, I was badly depressed, I wanted to do everything to change the way I looked. I stretched my earlobes, I started wearing contact lenses and I didn’t want to be out in the sun, I starved myself, went on strict diets just to be slim.” She remained quiet for a while, wiping her eyes. I was shocked. Things started to click in my head. There were things I didn’t understand but I almost believed her. “Why are you telling me this all?” I looked at her with shocked eyes. “I think it’s time for you to know. I don’t think it was right to keep a thing like this from you. I don’t want your life to be a lie.” My mouth kept opening and closing, I couldn’t say a thing. I was upset, even angry. I wondered if my older sister was happy, mum pressured her to study so hard and now she’s in university. Is she even doing the thing she really wants to? I couldn’t keep back my tears. Celia pulled me into a big bear hug as I cried my eyes out into her shoulder. When I woke up, the sun was shining brightly. Everything was quiet and calm and for a second I felt really satisfied, but then events of yesterday all flashed into my mind. I felt this weird pain in my heart and stomach. My mouth was drying, so I stood up and walked over to the kitchen to have a glass of water, instead I had like four glasses of water. “How did you sleep?” I heard a tired voice behind me. I turned around, seeing a halfasleep Celia. She was wearing a huge T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. Her hair was like a birds nest. She looked different, she wasn’t wearing makeup and her eyes were dark green, just like mine. She was pretty.

“I don’t know. I think I slept well,” I replied. “You want breakfast?” She walked to the kitchen cupboard and turned the stove on. “Eh, sure.” I nodded. I wondered if my parents had called me, and oh my God! Did I ruin their date night? Their heads must be aching because I always mess up. I found my phone in my jacket’s pocket. I hadn’t lost much battery because my WiFi was out and I hadn’t used my phone. I had several text messages from my friends, asking where I was, that they had got caught by the police and my mum had sent me a couple aggressive text messages asking me where I was, if I was out of my mind and that I would be grounded. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to talk to my mum, not yet. I wanted to ask her so many things and talk to her, but I couldn’t, not yet. I turned my phone off and fell onto the couch lazily, staring out of the huge windows.

Chapter 9 We ate breakfast, talked about our childhoods, what we had been doing and how things had been going on for us. I was surprised at how good Celia was at cooking and flashbacks of me messing up every meal I tried to prepare filled my mind. I was jealous. “I want to be able to cook like you,” I said out of nowhere. “Oh, you do? I learned it in London actually.” She laughed, taking a sip of her coffee. London? That’s where my older sister, April lives. “How come?” I asked her. I was curious. “My dad put me into cooking classes. He said that every young woman should know how to cook and bake so I went. It was really fun,” Celia said. A thought. Just a thought. Maybe I could do it too? And burn the whole place down? Brilliant. “Do they do these things anymore? Like cooking classes? Especially for younger people?” I asked her. “Yeah, sure they do. It’s a tradition, they do these classes every summer. I could get you there. And your older sister lives there as well, so you could live with her, right?” Celia planned. So it went. I had to call April, figure things out with her but the thing is, I had to go home. I didn’t want to go, I was scared to go back yet. I was already planning conversations in my head, what to tell my parents. I knew what I did wasn’t right either, but I think this had to happen. If it hadn’t happened, I would have got caught, I would’ve not got to know who is my real family and for sure I wouldn’t have stepped out of the box to learn something new. For me it was cooking. I decided to stay at Celia’s for another day. I wanted to think what to tell my parents and I had to get in contact with my older sister. “I want to talk to my parents about this. This is not okay that they didn’t tell me who I really am, who the people around me even are! I’m fifteen! Why can’t I know who I am really?” I rubbed my forehead in frustration. Celia sighed and sat down on the couch next to me, wrapping her tiny arms around me. “I know. It wasn’t okay. Your mum just decided that was “the best” for you, and if any of us would tell you she had her own threats.” She looked down. My head was aching. I was tired of worrying all the time, I was tired of being unhappy. 18

“I don’t know. Serve it sweeter. Just go home, don’t start yelling. Just ask her why didn’t she tell you, and listen what she has to say. Everyone’s point of view is different.” Celia said finally. I thought for a bit. Maybe. But I wanted my “dad” to be there too. “I want to meet my dad too.” I leaned my head on her shoulder. Celia didn’t say anything. “I mean, I have the right to see him?” I continued. “Yes, you do. It’s just that I don’t know how he would react,” she said. I didn’t care. I just wanted to figure things out. None of us has a control of anything, you can never own control. Life does its thing. But I can own a little control over my wellness. “I don’t care. Just take me to him. Please,” I begged her. Celia stood up, looked out of the window and stayed in thought. “Fine,” she said.

Chapter 10 The rest of the day was peaceful. We went to Rudy’s to eat pizza and after that Celia took me to the mall as it “would” loosen me up. We went from store to store, tried on funky clothes and did mini fashion shows in them, I actually ended up buying myself checkered trousers which I thought I would never do. They were aesthetic and they were different so why not. Celia also bought herself a pair of ripped jeans, a shirt and some type of a denim jacket. We also had to go to the grocer’s store to pick up some groceries and went back to Celia’s place. I was thinking that by tomorrow night I wanted to go home. I wanted to meet my dad, the real one. Celia called him to ask if it was possible to make it happen, obviously not mentioning me. Luckily, tomorrow afternoon I could see him and talk with him. Even though I didn’t know how to cook I decided to help Celia out in the kitchen. We decided to make pasta with chicken. Celia explained me a bit about how to prepare chicken because the only thing I knew how to do was cook pasta. That night actually turned out to be really sweet. Celia’s mysterious boyfriend had also came home, his name was Josh but luckily he ended up having a really good sense of humor. By seven, we were all on the couch, eating pasta and watching Riverdale. Josh wasn’t really excited about it, but he didn’t complain. Even though I hadn’t known Celia and Josh for that long, I felt really comfortable with them. “It’s actually really fun with you guys, it’s sad that I have to go.” I was upset. “It’s not sad. Your life might be finally getting some light to it, besides it’s not like we won’t ever see again.” Josh smiled. True. I didn’t know how tomorrow was going to go or how the chat with my parents was going to be, but I couldn’t be more ready.

Chapter 11 I woke up at around 9AM. I was so tired and I didn’t remember how I had fallen asleep. The sun was shining brightly through the huge windows and birds were flying across the sky. I stretched and laid there for a bit, taking everything in. I looked out of the big windows, looking at the big fluffy clouds. The more I looked at them, the faster they moved. My head began spinning so I rubbed my eyes. Today I was going to see my dad, I was going back home, I would talk with my parents and my sister, April. And soon, my life will be taking another big turn. The morning was casual. Celia, Josh and I had breakfast and I borrowed Celia’s clothes because I only had the clothes I came here with and the checkered pants. I felt like they would be too funky for today’s events. I brushed my hair into a high sleek ponytail and splashed my face with cold water. I took a last glance into the mirror. My green eyes were kind of.. muddy today. My face was pale because the beach weathers here aren’t that much of a common thing and I even thought that I should get my eyebrows done. It didn’t matter to me as much, though. Celia was already calling for me so I slid on my sneakers and we went out. The drive to my dad’s was... quiet. The radio was playing quietly, Josh and Celia were sitting in silence. The drive was pretty long, about 25 minutes. I think I passed out because when I opened my eyes, we were in a whole different place. We finally parked in front of a tall black building. This didn’t seem like an apartment building, more like a business building or some sort. We got out of the car and walked through the big glass doors. There was a reception just in front of you when you stepped in. Celia walked up to it and talked to the blonde girl. She led us to the lift and we stepped in. Inside the lift were long rows of numbers, the building was tall anyway. We went onto the 11th floor and again, there was a reception desk. And again, with a girl behind it. This time the girl was a ginger with some thick rimmed glasses resting on her nose. Celia asked for my dad but the ginger girl told us to wait for a bit, because he had a meeting at the moment. We took a seat on the big soft leather couch and the room 21

was again, quiet. The only thing I could hear was the sound of typing on the keyboard. “Are you nervous?“ Celia asked, breaking the silence. The real question was, was I nervous? I didn’t feel nervous but for sure I was. I could finally meet my real dad. But I was so afraid how he would react. “Not really,“ I answered, shrugging. “That’s good.“ She gave me a small smile. Finally, the ginger stood up and told us to follow her. We walked through a small hallway to big wooden double doors, and she knocked on them lightly. She opened the door and peaked her head in, telling my dad that he had visitors. Wait, why was I calling him my dad? I had never even seen him! And maybe he actually isn’t my dad. Maybe Celia had lied to me. Maybe my mum and dad are my real parents and this is all a game to mess my head up. My heart started pounding and my legs were wobbling. I felt as if I was going to throw up, but there he stood. He had brown hair, and a beard with grey strands in it, showing that he had age. His eyes were sparkling green and he had a couple of wrinkles on his aged skin. He was wearing a dark blue suit with black shoes. He looked like he had money and style. The thought that maybe this is all a lie still lingered in my head and my stomach was aching. My dad’s eyebrows scrunched together when he saw me and this made me even more nervous. “May?“ He called out to me. I gulped. “Y-yeah. May,“ I stuttered. He recognized me. But how? He just stood there, staring at me. I heard the door close behind me and suddenly I felt cold and lonely. I was all alone with this man who is apparently my dad. He took a few steps towards me. I stood frozen as I was even afraid to blink. “What are you doing here?“ he asked. I could hear it through his voice that he was surprised. “I wanted to see you,“ I replied. My voice was so shaky, even I could hear it. 22

“How did you find me? How did you even find Celia?“ He began asking questions, although I felt like I was supposed to be the one to ask the questions, not him. “I found you through Celia. And I found Celia at a party. She told me the truth and now I think it’s for you to do the same,“ I answered. My voice was more sturdy this time. I wasn’t a coward. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he turned around, looked out of the window and there I was, standing there and waiting for him to say something. “How could she?“ he mumbled, but I heard it very well. I could hear everything very well and only a few knew it. “Don’t try to go at her. It was time, and you know it too. Yes, I’m disappointed and angry but I just want you to tell me why was this kept from me? Am I too young?“ I asked again, my voice got louder but I tried to keep it down. “May.. I don’t have much to do with this. It was your mother’s decision.“ He turned around and looked at me. His eyes were full of pity, they were even more sparkling now but I wasn’t so cheap. “My mother’s decision? What do you mean? And you didn’t have a say in this? You’re my real dad!“ I kept shooting. “May, please! By the court, I don’t have much rights. I don’t live with you. I only pay money every month as means of support. Your mother had an affair with another man, you do know that right?“ He sounded annoyed. I knew I was a bit pressuring but they don’t have a right to be mad at me. I have my own rights too. “Yes, I do know that. But why didn’t you tell me that at least?“ I asked again. “Because your mum wanted a good family, but she was smart enough to have an affair. She wanted you to be a happy child, that you wouldn’t have to worry about family problems.“ He rubbed his eyes and sat down. However, I was sturdy like a piece of wood and stood still. “Do you think I wouldn’t understand then? I’m fifteen already!“ I was angry. “May I haven’t said that! I didn’t have any contact with you. Your mother thought that she had every right to be angry at me, however she was the one who did the dirty work. She didn’t allow me to see you a lot. I haven’t seen you in years!“ He said. I didn’t calm down but I knew that I shouldn’t blame him as much. But why didn’t he try to get in contact with me at least? Was this so hard? 23

I was getting tired and I wanted to leave. Within this short period of time I was here, I understood that my dad was just a rich man swimming in money. He didn’t care much about his family. „Okay, okay. Whatever. I don’t want to be on bad terms with you but I do know you could’ve at least tried to get in contact with me! I’m done here. I hope everything goes well with you.“ I turned around and opened the door, throwing a last glance at him.

Chapter 12 I walked out of the office. My heart wasn’t pounding as fast anymore. As soon as I approached Celia, she stood up with questioning eyes. “How was it?“ she asked almost immediately. “It was good,“ I replied. „I got to say everything I needed, almost. Now take me home, please.“ And so she did. Luckily, Celia didn’t ask any questions and I was thankful for it. We drove to my house. To my surprise, everyone was home. The cars were neatly parked in front of the house, but the vibes that came from this house weren’t that neat. “Do you want me to come with you?“ Celia asked. I started planning the scenario in my head without the ability to decide. “Maybe,“ I replied. Josh stayed inside the car and we walked up to my front door. The door was surprisingly unlocked. When I opened the door, it was dead silent. We took our shoes off and walked into the living room. My mum and step-dad were sitting on the couch, looking at albums. They looked so happy, reminding me the good times and my heart melted for a second, but then I remembered what I was here for, what my life was actually like. I coughed. Mums and step-dads eyes popped onto me. Their eyes were full of mixed emotions and they were frozen until my mum mumbled. “Celia? May?“ Again, I heard that very well. Tears started streaming down her face as she walked up to us and she tried to hug us, but I stepped back. I couldn’t let her squeeze me like a sponge. I needed to say what I needed to say. She hugged Celia, crying into her shoulder. 25

“How have you been?“ she asked her, scanning her up and down. “I’ve been fine.“ She smiled or at least, tried to. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in such a long time. You’re so thin!“ My mum wiped her tears. But then her gaze dropped. “Wait. How do you two know each other?“ Her voice was stronger and more serious than ever. “Yes, this is actually what I wanted to discuss.“ I smiled. My mum seemed so confused, so furious, so disappoined. “My question is, why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t tell me that I have a stepdad, and that I have a sister?“ I tried to keep myself together but in reality I felt like a snowman, who was melting in all directions. My mum looked as if she had been attacked. Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. She looked at my dad, he nodded in shame and my mum let out a long breath. “I know. I know I’m a bad mother. And I know that I should’ve told you, many times I tried but then... I didn’t want to ruin your mood. In the beginning you were too young, then I was just too afraid and now the moment is here.“ She sat down on the corner of the sofa without looking at us. “You do know that your grandmother is a bit of the strict one, right?“ She looked at me. Her eyes were bloodshot and it even broke me but I really needed to know how things really are. I nodded. “Right, so my mother was sure on one thing her whole life. You need to have your children with one man, you need to stay loyal and stay with one family. She was also keen on success and education.“ Mum looked away, reminding herself of the past. “She told me it so many times that I was even scared! And when things got a bit fishy with your dad and I found someone else... It just happened! I felt so-so bad!“ She wiped a tear off her cheek. I leaned on the wall next to me, since I was getting tired of standing up. “And when it happened, you have no idea how mad she was at me! She started blaming me that I ruined my children’s future, that they can’t be happy if they don’t have a real dad growing them up.“ My mum sighed as my stepdad massaged her shoulders.

“So my mum told me to not tell anything to you and so I told everyone else that they wouldn’t tell you. I knew it wasn’t right and I wanted to tell you. I seriously don’t know why I didn’t do it earlier.“ My mum finished and looked at her palms. I was shocked. I knew my grandmother was a bit of a strict one but she was the one who manipulated my mother! I understood my mum a bit better now. “Don’t cry, mum!“ I kneeled down near her and wiped her tears. I pulled her in a tight hug and she hugged me back. “I’m sorry mum, I’m sorry for giving you so much headache. I’m sorry for not listening when I should have had. I love you so much.“ I let my tears free into her cardigan. “I know sweetheart, it’s not your fault. I should’ve been a better parent.“ I was still a bit mad at my mum not telling me anything earlier, but I understood her. My mum came from a perfectionist family and the need to live a perfect life carried over to her as well. That’s just how she grew up. And with that, we all stood there, crying. Who cried a little inside, who cried on the outside.

Chapter 13 The following morning was peaceful. Celia went home and I stayed at home, obviously. I told my mother that I wanted to visit my older sister too and surprisingly they were okay with it, I even called and asked her whether it was okay if I came and she was happy with it. I felt peaceful, I felt good. My mum wanted to watch some movies today and bake cupcakes so I went downstairs to help her. The vibe was so fresh and happy. Everybody was in a good mood, including me. My mum and I began to make the cupcake mixture. We listened to some indie songs, humming along. We made chocolate cupcakes with chocolate filling and we obviously decorated them with cream and sprinkles. I was afraid they would get messed up but with mums help everything seemed to go well. After the cupcakes were in the oven, we had to start cleaning since the kitchen was full of sprinkles and flour. An hour later we were all in the living room with our food complaining over what movie we wanted to watch. My mum wanted to watch Mrs. Doubtfire even though we had seen it multiple times already. We didn’t complain, though and began watching a long-long movie marathon. A couple hours later, we were all bloated, we all realized that we had eaten way too much food and we couldn’t even move. But what mattered was the peace we had inside. It was 4pm already so I decided to start packing. I went up to my room and grabbed my suitcase, threw it on my bed and started thinking where to start. I had no idea. I sat on my bed and stared at my wardrobe. I decided to grab quite a few pairs of leggings and jeans because the weather in Britain is moody like a teenager. I also threw a pair of shorts in there just in case. I took a lot of shirts and threw a hoodie and a few lighter jackets in there as well. And I was done. I took my phone and went through my unread texts. They had got caught by the police and had been fined, they even got a record. For a second I felt sorry for them, but then I remembered that at some point they had deserved it. Life was trying to teach them a lesson but they didn’t take it as anything serious.

I replied to some of the messages and simply said that I would be leaving soon for a few weeks so they wouldn’t disturb me. I really didn’t feel like talking to them at the moment. I decided to also clean my room because it was a huge mess. I had clothes on the floor, chair, bed, everywhere. I had my school books and makeup messed up all over the desk and the floor really needed vacuuming. I started by putting the things away, cleaning the wardrobe and then the desk and the rest. I even cleaned my mirror. How smart of me. After all of the effort, my room looked new. I was exhausted and threw myself on the bed, which probably wasn’t the best idea because I was sweaty. It was exactly 7pm and I was bored. I decided to run a bath for myself. I also threw a bath bomb in the bath for an extra effect. I was leaving at 11AM tomorrow, the drive to London was about 3-4 hours, so I had to prepare my water bottles because I was really sensitive to dehydration. The night was really peaceful and I loved it. Something about me was feeling really peaceful today and I could even jump in happiness. The warm water hugged me like a blanket and I took a long sigh, closing my eyes.

Chapter 14 The next morning, waking up just wasn’t easy. I was really tired and I couldn’t drag my body out of the bed. I slept for an extra 15 minutes, that obviously wasn’t enough but I couldn’t sleep longer either because I needed to get on the train and I had to pack a few things. I got my really tired body out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. My eyes for sure were swollen. I couldn’t really keep them opened and they were really itchy. I had some bags under my eyes and my hair was begging to be brushed. I splashed my face with cold water because I thought this was the only thing to save me right now along with coffee. Today, the weather was chilly and cloudy. I just wanted to go somewhere warm where the weather wouldn’t be so damn moody. I put on some black jeans, a long sleeved white blouse and a bomber jacket to keep me from the cold. I packed a few extra things, trying to make sure that I wouldn’t forget anything but I knew that I did anyway. I took my phone off the charger and rolled my suitcase out of my room. I could smell the pancakes already, making my heart warm. As I got down, my mum greeted me with a smile. “Where’s dad?” I asked, leaving my luggage by the door. “Oh, he should be up any minute. I made some pancakes… I just can’t open this damn jar, even with a jar opener!” My mum scrunched her eyebrows in grumpiness. “Oh. Give me that.” I laughed, grabbing the jam jar from her, attempting to open it first with my hands and then with the opener. Well, nothing. Wait, what the hell, May? You thought you’re a strong man or something? Maybe. “Hello, ladies. I’m here to rescue those in need,” Dad said dramatically, sliding himself down the stairs. He looked fresh and glowy. My mum and dad both did. I was happy for them, unlike myself who woke up looking like a scary Halloween ghost. My dad opened the jar easily, winking to mum. I simply rolled my eyes and grabbed a plate. 30

We all ate breakfast together and then we had to get going. My mum and dad would drive me to the train station to say goodbye. I would be staying there for a while. I didn’t know why but I always had to leave when things got good. I guess too much good isn’t good as well. I wouldn’t want to end up crying. My dad helped to get my things into the car and we all sat in. It was time to get going. I took a last glance at my house before we drove off. When we were at the train station, we all got out and I gave them a long, tight hug. A tear ran down my cheek but I wiped it almost immediately and said my goodbyes. It seemed like nothing but I wouldn’t be there for a few days. I would be staying for a month or maybe even more. “You got everything? Clothes, your water bottle? Chargers? Tickets?” Mum asked, still holding on to me. “Yes, I think so.” I checked my pocket for the tickets. They were there. Wow May, you’re not forgetting things. I gave them a last wave and entered the station with all of my stuff.

Chapter 15 When I was finally on the train, I sat down on my seat and took a big gulp from my water. I was afraid that I would have to visit the restroom often but I was really thirsty so I didn’t think about it. I had some time so I made myself comfortable. I was sitting all alone which was odd. I didn’t mind, though. I checked my phone for a bit, checking social media. All my “friends” had got so out of their hands. They didn’t even care, they just posted pictures of parties. I got too happy too soon because a curly brown- haired guy sat in front of me. He was wearing black jeans, a black T-shirt and a ripped denim jacket. My expectations of privacy faded into thin air and I sighed, trying to melt into my chair. But suddenly I heard something fall onto the floor. “Crap,” I hissed under my breath. I felt my cheeks heat up like two ovens. He picked my water bottle up with a kind smile. I held my breath as he did that. He handed me my water bottle and I quietly thanked him. “Angus,” he said. Wait, is that his name or what? Or is that some word in another language? Should I just say my name or stay quiet? “May,” I said firmly, guessing that he said his name. “So, where are you going?” he asked me. Yep, he said his name, I guessed right. “Eh, London,” I replied, my voice still a bit unsure about him. “Oh, same,” he replied. “What’s taking you there?” He was curious. “Just going to visit my sister, staying there for a while,” I simply said. “Oh, nice. I’ll be staying at my brother’s. There’s the cooking course going on… I wanted to go.” He chuckled. “Wait, the one at Little Portland Street?” I coughed. “Yeah, why?” He looked at me with a confused expression. “Oh. I’m going there too.” I laughed awkwardly. I was so uncomfortable that I just wanted to dig a hole and leave.

Was there anything else going to happen? Like can my life get any more awkward than this? And knowing he came onto the train from Manchester, he lives here as well. “That’s cool! You’re a failure at cooking too?” He kept on talking. He talks a lot. “Sort of, I don’t really get this whole cooking and baking thing,” I said. “I like cooking. It’s almost therapeutic. I just want more knowledge, you know. More is more.” He smiled. Wow, what toothpaste does he use? His teeth looked like little crystals in his mouth. Stop staring, that’s weird. I was just jealous because as a little girl, I refused to brush my teeth. It seemed scary to me. Fortunately, I got over it. “Oh. I wish I had that kind of a connection with food too.” I looked down, so he wouldn’t think that I always stare at him like a weirdo. “Don’t worry. Cooking isn’t hard. You just need to put your mind to it when you do it and you just need a bit knowledge. Obviously, you also need to enjoy doing it because this is when the food will taste good,” he said, looking straight into my eyes. I just nodded to agree and took a big gulp from my water. I felt really dehydrated again. The rest of the trip was more on the quiet side. I just kept on sipping on my water and surfing on my phone. Quite soon I felt my eyes slowly not making it anymore, a big wave of sleep got the best of me and I felt my head slowly fell against the window. I felt someone shake my shoulders softly. I opened my eyes, closing them again because it was so bright. I was just really sensitive to the light. “May, London is calling!” Angus called for me. Did I sleep the whole time? I’m amazing. I quickly sat up and looked around. People were getting off the train and I was still here. I even began panicking about this small thing. “Calm down, I got you,” he said and grabbed one of my bags. I thanked him again. We both got out of the train and I could already see the busy life of London. People were walking in all directions, some were hurrying somewhere, some were just walking. So this is it. I made it and I didn’t die. “Can I have your number or something? You seem like a fun person to talk to, if you don’t mind giving your number obviously.” He smiled and handed me his phone.

“Oh, sure!” I typed my number into his phone and gave it back to him. “Thanks. So you’re going to your sister’s now?” he asked. “Yeah, I think so,” I said, looking down at my bags. “Alright. I’ll see you soon. Or you know... Tomorrow.” He gave me a big bright smile. “Yep. See you soon.” I smiled as well. Watch out London, here I come!

Chapter 16 After me and Angus went on our separate ways, I called my sister. She was going to pick me up with her car but she said she would be there in about twenty minutes or so. I had some time to kill and I decided to go to the small café just near the station because I was quite hungry. The café was really cozy. The windows were big and all around the place I could see greenery. I took a seat and put my things near the table. I decided to have waffles with caramel sauce and a coffee with milk. While I was waiting for my food, I turned my WiFi on and checked my phone. My neck was hurting from sleeping pretty bad so I decided to not be on my phone, since it made my neck hurt even more. I just stared out of the window. It was slightly windy outside and people seemed to be so stuck in their routine, just running around, trying not to be late. Some people were just walking, their noses in their phones… Not even noticing the world which was in front of them. This made me a little upset. My food arrived pretty quickly. The girl who brought me my food was really polite and sweet. She seemed to be near my age. She had really long blonde hair that was tied into a high ponytail. She didn’t seem like those other waiters that we’re actually really rude and hated their job. I began eating my food which tasted surprisingly really good. As I was eating, my sister called me. She was already here. I asked her if she could come to the café and she didn’t seem to have a problem with that. I finished my food and just as I did so, she came in. She had changed so much. Her dark hair had grown even longer, almost reaching her hips. (See, we were really lucky with hair growth in our family, especially April.) She wore black trousers with some black tied shoes and a beige cardigan. She looked really pretty. I suddenly felt jealous. My sisters were getting their life together yet here I was. I was quite messed up. I needed to change my mindset and I needed to start taking better care of my looks. I gave April a long tight hug, she held me by my shoulders and smiled at me. April was probably the most successful in our family. She loved studying, books, philology and everything that had to do with knowledge. She never bragged with her money, she knew she had it but she spent it wisely. She even had a notebook for her expenses. “Do you want to go for a coffee?” she asked. I quickly shook my head as I had just drank coffee but from April’s face I could tell she didn’t care at all. “I actually just drank-“ I began but she stopped me with a lazy hand gesture. “No, no. I’m going to take you somewhere else. You’re going to drink the best coffee!” She got excited.

I couldn’t even say anything before she raised her eyebrows to say something. “I kind of have to pay for my food too…” I quickly said before she was able to even say anything. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll pay.” She took her credit card from the purse. Oh my God. I wanted to stop her. “No I’ll pay myself,” I said. She scrunched her eyebrows and pushed me softly, shaking her head at the same time. “Nope! You’re my guest and you’re just fifteen. You need money so don’t worry about it.” She gave me a smile and walked to the cashier to pay. I sighed. I took my belongings and waited for her. It didn’t take her long. Before I could even blink she came back and we went out. The sun was smiling down to us. We walked towards her car and she unlocked it. Her car was shining like a diamond. I guessed she had a lot of money to go to the car wash all the time. I put my things into the car and sat in. The journey wasn’t that short. Music was playing quietly as we were driving and I decided to ask her how she was doing. “So, how are you?” I asked out of nowhere. However, she didn’t seem to mind me asking like that. “Oh, I’ve been kind of busy. Now I’m not that busy, though. Studies have been pretty hard and I had the exam last week. Now I’ve had some time to breathe and do “home” things too,” she said. “Home things?” I asked. It felt weird talking to her because we didn’t talk like at all, she had her own things and I had mine. “Oh, you know… Boyfriend, cleaning, preparing food and all that stuff.” She spoke, but her smile faded. “Is something wrong?” I kept digging. “Me and Rob are… Well kind of in a fight. I just can’t understand men sometimes… They have their own brain and he just doesn’t understand my love for studying and part of it is for the future too. He also lost his job a month ago…” she said, but now her face wasn’t so bright anymore. “Maybe he thinks you’re not spending enough time with him?” I was curious. “Maybe… He was paid really well but now he lost his job and he continuously asks money from me. He even pains me with…” She spoke but then her lips clasped together. “He even pains you with…?” I looked at her, she put her sunglasses on, her lips in a tight line.

“It’s whatever. Just men things.” She laughed but it was fake. She even coughed on her own laugh. I stopped asking and just gave her a nod, even though she was looking at the road. “And how have you been holding up?” she asked. “I heard you had problems with our parents, right?” I stayed quiet for a bit. “Yeah, I did.” I admitted. “I’m sorry that you had to find out like that.” She gave me a pity smile. “No, it’s fine. I mean it’s not fine but I accept it.” I chuckled. And so did April. “I’ve been doing weird though. Like… Life’s been messy and I don’t even know.” I sighed again. “What do you mean?” she asked me, focusing on the driving. “I mean… I’m trying to figure things out, right. I kind of made up with my parents but the truth about my family hit me really hard.” “I know. I believe it must be hard,” she looked at me for a second, “and I know things might make you really confused, you’re a teenager and it’s a part of it.” “Yeah,” I mumbled quietly. And that’s what I was. Just a teenager.

Chapter 17 We arrived at the coffee place and got out of the car. It wasn’t that small. It had three floors for some reason, but I think that it was connected with another building. It pretty much had no walls, it was just all glass. “So this is where you live your luxurious life?” I asked jokingly. “I wouldn’t say luxurious but yes. I come here for lunch. I’ve went to many coffee places here but this one is the closest to my workplace and the coffee here tastes amazing,” she said. “Sounds good.” I licked my lips when I saw the counters filled with all kinds of goods. The aroma of coffee filled my nostrils and I just wanted to sleep in coffee beans, even if it wasn’t the smartest thing to do. “Okay, you pick the table and I’m going to order my favorite for us. I promise you’ll love it.” She winked. There were quite a lot of people here today, probably because of what April had said earlier, this place must be really good. Thankfully I did find a table for us and sat down. I was still sleepy, even though I slept on the train. The cooking classes will start tomorrow already and honestly, I was nervous. I knew nobody other than Angus there and my skills at making friends were not so good. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. I couldn’t keep them closed for very long because the waiter with April came to our table. She had some type of cake, coffee and a salad that was put in a way too fancy bowl. “Thank you for helping, Martha.” She slid some money in her pocket and smiled. The girl, apparently Martha gave her a shy smile and stormed back to deal with the clients. I couldn’t help myself but look at this scenario in disgust. April thinks she’s a good person if she buys people with money? I don’t think so. The coffee obviously tasted heavenly. I had never tried coffee that good. The cake was also like angel’s tears on my tongue and the salad was just perfect. I tried to take small sips and bites because of how good the taste was, the coffee wasn’t even like a full liquid, it felt like a satin cream. “I’m happy that you decided to get more knowledge of cooking,” April said and tucked her hand in her handbag, searching for something. “Me too. I’ve always wanted to know more of it… I just didn’t think it was that important,” I said. April took her planner out of her bag and opened it, she had written a lot in it and her eyebrows scrunched together. She didn’t look very pleased but soon she almost masked it with a smile. “Yeah, you could win some guys hearts with cooking,” she joked. I laughed a bit. 38

“I don’t think they really consider that as a thing. It’s a stereotype thing,” I said. “No it really isn’t. There are guys who appreciate it, trust me.” She smiled, this time it seemed real. We chatted for a bit more, we talked about education and what April had been doing. April seemed really drifted off because of Rob and I felt deeply sorry for her. After we had spoken for quite some time, April took me to her apartment. She promised to show me the city more but she had to finish her economy project and she just didn’t have the time today. April’s apartment complex was pretty close to the café, about a three minute drive. The apartment was surrounded with tall gates, that opened only by a remote. She parked her car and we walked to the door. She unlocked the door and we took the lift because she lived pretty high up. When we got in, her apartment was pretty messy, however I didn’t judge because I was a mess too. “I’m sorry, it’s messy here. Me and Rob had a big fight like I told you earlier and I’ve been so busy with work and school I just haven’t got the time to clean up.” April apologized and put her shoes away. “No-no! Don’t worry. I can help you clean if you want?” I offered, also taking my shoes off. “That would be really great. You can start while I study, I’ll tell you what to do and where to put.” She breathed out in relief. “I’ll show you your room. That one isn’t messy because we almost never go there, only when we clean the apartment.” She laughed. When you entered her apartment, there was a hall. To the right there was a wardrobe with a sliding door. To the left she had a rack and a knob to keep shoes and keys, when you took a few steps forward she had two doors to the left and two doors to the right. We entered one of the doors to the right, that was the guests’ bedroom. It wasn’t a very big one, but enough for me. In the middle of the room there was a medium-sized bed with two nightstands. On the floor, she had put a very soft rug. The room had a pretty big window with dark blue curtains as well. There also was a dresser with a lamp and some books that I wanted to dig into. Just by the dresser, on the wall there was a mirror so I could admire myself. (I’m joking.) “You can put your clothes in the dresser, there’s plenty of space there, the bed is also all for you.” She smiled and put my bag on the bed. I put my suitcase onto the floor and sat on the bed. It was really soft, or was it the blanket? I didn’t even know. I also let my back on the bed and closed my eyes. I could have had fallen asleep if she hadn’t started talking.

“I see you’re sleepy. You can sleep if you want to,” she said. But then I remembered I had to help her clean. “No-no! I’ll clean a bit and then I’ll go to sleep,” I offered. She nodded and I followed her out. The hallway led us to a big room, it had a high ceiling and tall windows. The view wasn’t anything too special. She even had a big TV and two couches. The coffee table was filled with books, papers and coffee mugs. Just by the couch, there was a desk, also filled with books. On the other wall, she had a big bookcase with a smaller bookcase next to it. A lot of books in this place. The kitchen wasn’t so opened, it was divided with a wall. “Okay, so I’m going to start working at the desk, but you can take all the books from the coffee table and put them in the bookcase, there’s a spare shelf for them so I can find them later. Also take the mugs to the kitchen and put all the dishes in the dishwasher. Hmm… You can also vacuum the floors.” She looked around with hands on her hips. “I think that’s it for now.” She turned to me and grinned. I nodded and began working. First, I decided to take the coffee table, I took all the books to the bookcase and cleaned the coffee table as well, since it was made of glass which just invited dirt. Next I took all the dishes to the dishwasher, also the dishes she had in the kitchen. I cleaned the kitchen cupboards and the table, I vacuumed the floors and I also took the dust off the TV. After I was done, I was so tired. April was sitting at her desk, she was so into studying that she didn’t even blink. (She obviously did but pretty rarely.) I really needed to shower so I decided to not disturb her but find out myself where the bathroom was. She didn’t have a million doors so it wasn’t very hard. I also took some clean clothes and my cleaning supplies and locked the door after myself. I looked like a homeless man again. My hair was greasy, my skin was greasy and I had some terrible bags under my eyes. When will they go away? Was that a permanent problem?

Chapter 18 I wasn’t even able to sleep properly. I woke up to the loud noise that was called arguing. I knew I would’ve had to consider that earlier but I was so-so sleepy yesterday and now I just wanted to sleep. I took my phone and looked at the time, it was 7AM! Rob and April seemed to not get peace, they argued for about ten more minutes and then I heard the front door shut with a loud bang. After that the whole place was dead silent. I didn’t stay up for long though, I fell asleep almost immediately. I woke up again to the sound of my alarm going off. I had to be there quite early today, so I quickly stood up and wanted to go to the bathroom but it was locked. “April, are you in there?” I knocked the door. I could hear sobbing on the other side, but it stopped. I waited there for a solid minute and she opened the door. She looked crap. Her hair was messy, her eyes had been cried out and they were just bloodshot red. “Oh my God!” I put my hand on my mouth. She gave me a soft, but fake smile and just stood there. I didn’t know what was the matter but I didn’t even ask, I just hugged her tightly. “What’s wrong?” I asked after she had calmed down a bit. “R-Rob.” She couldn’t even talk, as soon as she said that name she began sobbing again. “Poor you!” I got upset and took her hand, she just went with it and I took her to the kitchen, sat her down on the kitchen chair and made her some tea. I put a slice of lemon in the tea and I also made some porridge for us. I put slices of banana and some cinnamon on the porridge for taste and put it in front of her. I didn’t know how to cook but I knew how to make porridge and cook eggs. “Thank you, May. I don’t know what I would be doing without you.” She began eating, still sniffing. I ate as well. It was 9:05AM, so I needed to start moving soon. I didn’t think April could do it if she looked like this, besides I thought she felt pretty bad. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a lift.” April wiped her eyes and smiled brightly again. “Are you sure?” I examined her. “Yes. I’m sure. I’ll tell you what happened later. And you go and get ready, I’ll clean up here.” She put her hand on my shoulder and I nodded. Today I decided to wear black leggings and a white blouse. I put a cardigan on top just in case. I could always take it off anyway. I brushed my hair and put it in a high ponytail. I put some lip gloss on to look a bit more alive and I was ready to go. 41

When I got out, April was ready as well. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a light pink top with some white ballerinas. She looked a lot better. April dropped me off at the place I would be studying for the next two weeks. It was just a brick building. April wished me luck and I took a deep breath, getting out of the car. I didn’t even know anybody there and I didn’t know where to go. As I got in, there was a front desk with a woman there, she was in her 40s probably. She was kind and told me the room number I had to go to. There weren’t many people yet. About eight, probably. I didn’t see Angus there, which made me really nervous as I wasn’t the best person to communicate with. However, a red-haired girl came up to me, she gave me a warm, welcoming smile. “Hey, what’s your name?” she asked with a sweet voice. She seemed really kind and down to earth. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing ripped jeans and a long sleeved black shirt. She seemed to be really comfortable with herself. I wished I had had that. “May, and yours?” I asked back to be polite. “I’m Athena. You came to get skills?” she asked. I was actually pretty sure I was going to be the clumsiest in this group. “Something like that. I know nobody here except for Angus… Pretty scary,” I admitted to her. “Don’t worry! I’m here for second year because Chris and Brittany are such nice people!” She was excited. Chris and Brittany were the people that were going to teach us cook and bake and give us the knowledge we needed, although I didn’t understand why she would come to the beginners course if she had already been here. “But this is the beginners’ course, isn’t it?” I was a little confused. “Yeah, I know. I couldn’t be here for the full course, an accident happened. Long story. Not a thing to talk about right now.” Her bright smile disappeared but soon returned. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “No, it’s fine! It was a year ago! Time heals wounds,” she said casually. By the time we had this small chat, the room had filled with more people. Someone clapped the hands. “Everyone, gather behind the counters!” a woman’s voice shouted. Probably Brittany, 42

I guessed. There were rows of counter-like tables. Each had a stove and a sink with them. However, there was nothing on the counters themselves. Everybody gathered behind the counters, Angus behind me. I gave him a smile, which he returned as well. I felt relieved when I saw him. The first class was simple. We played greeting games and got to know each other. Everybody seemed to be really nice.

Chapter 19 The next morning was hard. I had fallen asleep quite early but I was still tired. I wasn’t used to being in London and I just needed to get myself into a routine. The rest of the day was quite basic. We started off the cooking class with some knowledge, we did some exercises from the workbook and learned some table barns. Me and Angus got pretty close in a friendly way, we sat together and made fun of the illustrations in the textbooks. I had also made two new friends. Bailey and Lilian. The day ended at about half past two. The good thing was that we had Friday till Sunday off and I couldn’t wait till I could sleep till the afternoon and have walks around the town. Me, Angus and Lilian had a small walk after the day was over, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t wait to get into my bed and have a long nap. I was worried about April. She didn’t seem to be very happy, even though she tried. Something just wasn’t right there and I needed to find out what. Lilian and Angus seemed to get really close. I had got left behind and they were laughing and talking loudly. However, Angus looked at me with a worrying look. “You okay there?” He slowed down so that he was walking next to me. “Yes. I’m okay. I just fell into thought.” I sighed. “I can see that. If there’s anything that bothers you, you can always tell me. Okay?” He put his hand on my shoulder. My mood instantly got better at his words and I smiled at him, nodding. “Come on! You two are so slow!” Lilian groaned. “Where are we even going?” I asked because we had been walking for a while and I didn’t even know. “We’re going to the mall. Lilian wants to buy new swimwear,” Angus answered my question. “Oh, okay.” I kept following them. “We’re going swimming tomorrow all together and you’re coming with us!” Angus cheered. „Wait, what? Do I get to have a say in this? And where are you going swimming anyway?“ Me? Swimming? I didn’t even know how to swim properly and I hadn’t even brought any bikini with me! „To Brockwell Lido, it’s a nice place to swim at. You should really consider it.“ Angus tried to beg me.

„Eh, I don’t know...“ I dragged my words. “Come on! You’re like two turtles,” Lilian said grumpily before Angus could say anything. “We’re already coming,” I said calmly and began walking faster. “Are you coming then?” Angus didn’t drop the topic. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,“ I continued talking to Angus. I didn’t want to tell my reasons. I was afraid I would be laughed at. I didn’t want to show my body at all, I wasn’t confident in my body. “What’s stopping you?” Angus asked me, looking at me with puppy eyes. Wasn’t gonna work on me. Fortunately, I didn’t have to answer it because we reached the mall. We went inside and already we could hear Lilian squealing. We went through a million shops before we got to the store which sold swimwear. Lilian had a few bags in her hands even though we just got here. A total spoiled shopaholic. Once we entered the shop, Lilian grabbed tons of different pairs of swimsuits and bikinis. She kept calling every bikini or swimsuit cute in that store and I just felt my brain freezing already. “May, why don’t you try something?” she asked with an evil voice. How can someone even sound so rude? “No, thanks,” I smiled at her politely. “You’re just afraid of your body. That’s all. Maybe some extra hours in the gym would fix that?” She patted her eyelashes. Now I was getting pissed. I clenched my fists so hard that I felt my nails hurt my palms. “Lilian! Stop that!” Angus was getting moody as well. “No it’s fine. Maybe I should spend some extra hours in the gym,” I said grumpily. “May!” Angus called out. “I shall try some of these on. You guys wait here.” She laughed and went to one of the fitting rooms. I sat down on the small sofa and let out a long breath that had been paining me for a while.

Angus sat down next to me and put his hand on my back. I already felt better, although I was too afraid to lean on him. “May, please. That’s just Lilian’s personality,” Angus said quietly enough only for me to hear. “Well, I don’t like her-“ I began, but Lilian came out of the fitting room and spinned in front of us. She was wearing a two-piece bikini. It was plain black with some studs on it. I was already jealous because Lilian had a great body and I didn’t. I couldn’t even look at her. The bad thing was that the whole time she showed her “bikini” she looked at me with an evil look. I shook my head and looked away. Lilian got back in the fitting room and I could finally breathe again. “Please come tomorrow. I’ll make sure that she can’t be rude to you,” Angus kept on begging. “Angus please! I don’t want to.” I looked away once again. “Just come, nobody will judge you. There’s nothing wrong with your appearance. Do it for yourself, you’ll meet lots of people tomorrow.“ When he called me beautiful, it made me smile. From the inside of course. “Fine,“ I said finally. Angus grinned and grabbed my hand to help me up. “Let’s get you something,“ he mumbled and walked around the store to find me something. I dragged my legs across the floor, following him. Angus pulled out a black swimsuit that was opened from one shoulder. “Try that.“ He handed me the swimsuit. How the hell did he know my size? I grabbed it, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “How did you know my size?“ I asked. Angus started laughing. “Wasn’t very hard to guess. Now go try it on.“ He pushed me towards the fitting room softly. How demanding of him. I put the swimsuit on but I was fairly afraid to step out. I looked at myself in the mirror. I definitely wasn’t “fat“. I really couldn’t be. My parents both had good bodies, my sisters were slim but mentally I still had some type of a thought that I’m the chubbiest. Suddenly Lilian’s words came up to my mind, when she said I should have spent some extra hours in the gym. And this made me more afraid to step out. “Are you okay in there?“ I could hear Angus behind the door. 46

“Uh, yeah!“ I yelled back, covering myself up. I didn’t even know them for so long! Why should I show myself in a swimsuit?! “Are you afraid?“ I could hear Angus behind the door again. “I’m not-“ I got cut off with Lilian’s talking. “What can a fat girl do. Come on Winnie the Pooh, show us the swimsuit.“ She laughed with an evil tone. I even felt tears build up in my eyes, I didn’t want to be weak but she was just rude. I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and unlocked the door, revealing myself. Angus immediately smiled. “See, you look okay!“ Angus cheered to me. I smiled shyly, but I could see how rudely Lilian looked at him. Lilian didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if this was because she had nothing to say or she was just jealous. Wait, jealous of what? “You should get this one,“ Angus said and I already grabbed something to cover myself up. “You think so?“ I was unsure. “Sure. It looks great on you,“ he said. I chuckled softly and closed the door.

Chapter 20 That night I had dinner with April. Rob hadn’t been home for quite a while and April seemed to get more depressed with every single day. “You okay?“ I asked her, already knowing she would reply with a yes even though she wasn’t fine. She nodded her head softly, but I didn’t believe it. “Tell me. I’m listening.“ I put my hand on hers. She looked at it for a second but didn’t seem to mind. “I-,“ she began but then stopped. She hadn’t eaten at all. I was getting so worried. “I’m just tired. Don’t worry about me.“ She stood up, threw her food away and left the kitchen. Something was so fishy, was Rob doing something to her? I had to find out. That night, I didn’t sleep. I wanted to see if Rob would be coming here and if he would, I wanted to know what was he saying to my sister and if he was hurting her. I made coffee for myself to stay up. I was really sleepy but for my sister, I was ready for anything. As I was reading, I also sipped on my coffee. I was trying hard not to fall asleep, but I knew at some point I would. It was 1AM and I was still desperately waiting. But to my luck, I did hear the front door. I could hear loud steps and a door opening. Probably my sister’s bedroom door. For a while it was quiet in the apartment. I even thought maybe he had gone to sleep but it would be fishy, since they’re in a fight. I stood up quickly, pressing my ear against the door. I knew it wasn’t polite to listen to people’s conversations like this but I was worried. But nope, it wasn’t quiet. Finally, I could hear something. “I don’t have anything to give you Rob! Leave me alone!“ I could hear April yelling. “You’re lying to me! Just give me some damn money!“ Rob yelled even louder. “Be quiet you stupid thing! You’re waking my sister up!“ April said to Rob. “I don’t care. If you don’t tell me anything, I’m taking your sister and you know that.“ Rob laughed. What? What does April have to tell him? And why would he take me? “She doesn’t know anything! You’re not going to touch my sister!“ April shouted. “Oh, yes I am. You’re so naive, so weak,“ Rob said so quietly I really had to press my ear against that door.

“Get the hell out of here! I don’t want to see you again! You’re sick! I don’t have to tell you anything! I really hoped more of you,“ April hissed. I could hear steps again. And then, silence. I couldn’t hear much. But after a little bit, I heard the front door close. And again, complete silence. I sighed, got into my bed and so many thoughts filled my head. Are there secrets kept from me, again? What does April have to tell Rob? However, I was so sleepy that I fell asleep with all my paining thoughts. When I woke up, I realized that I had slept longer than I should have had. It was 11AM! The cooking classes had already begun. I took my phone, having several missed calls from Angus. Why didn’t April wake me up? I was suddenly so grumpy. I got up quickly, storming out of the bedroom. When I went to April’s bedroom, April was laying on the bed, not under the blanket. Her head was not facing me, but something seemed really odd. I walked towards her and put the back of my hand against her cheek. She was quite warm. She wasn’t waking up. I shook her shoulders, but she didn’t react. I started panicking. Did Rob do something to her? But he left? I heard him left. I slapped April’s cheek very softly. April’s eyes opened finally and she breathed heavily. “April! Don’t scare me like that!“ I yelled and sat down next to her. “Oh my God, what happened?“ She was confused. She quickly stood up but grabbed her head. “Oh my! My head hurts!“ April groaned and laid back down. “Wait here, I’ll get you some aspirin and water,“ I told her and stood up, walking towards the kitchen. I quickly got some aspirin and poured some water in a glass and went back to April’s bedroom. April gulped the water down pretty quickly and then breathed heavily again. “Wait. Aren’t you supposed to be at school?“ April looked at me immediately. “Well, actually I am but I slept in,“ I said. “Oh Jesus! I’m a mess! I’m so sorry!“ April rubbed her forehead, pressing her eyes shut. 49

“No, everything’s fine. Tell me what happened,“ I asked her but as always, she didn’t reply. She got up and began looking for clothes what to wear. I didn’t want to pressure her, since she seemed to be still a bit... Drifted away? The thing was, she was hiding something from me. And I really needed to find out what it was. I didn’t care if it earned me sleepless nights.

Chapter 21 I did go to school for a few hours, today we cooked a bit, but just a bit. After school me, Angus, Athena, Lilian and Bailey went swimming. He was the only guy and I deeply felt sorry for him. When we arrived at the pool, everybody dressed down to their swimsuits or bikini but I was afraid, again. There were two boys who approached us. They greeted everyone kindly. Apparently their names were Joseph and Derek. Joseph had dark brown hair and Derek was a blondie. They were both pretty tall and lean. Everybody ran into the water but I was really too scared to get in. I sat down on one of the benches and looked at everybody having fun. Suddenly, someone put their hands on my eyes. As a person who watches a lot of films I turned around immediately, thinking that I was going to be kidnapped. Fortunately or unfortunately it was Angus. “Do you want to kill me?!“ I yelled, pushing him playfully. “Actually no. I wanted to know if you’re okay. Are you coming?“ he asked. I sighed again. He is already begging me with that. His freckles were out even more today because it was really sunny. I didn’t even know he had so many of them. I was boiling. I was probably so sweaty because I felt so. “I’m scared to,“ I admitted, avoiding eye contact. “Don’t be. It’s fine. Really, just come,“ he pleaded. I growled under my breath but mumbled a ’fine’. I went to one of the changing rooms and took my shorts and shirt off. I walked out with an annoyed face but Angus seemed to be pleased that he got me swimming, almost. “Let’s go. I promise the water isn’t that cold.“ He waited for me as I was standing by the cabin. I slowly began walking towards him, we walked to the pool and just when I was about to get onto the ladder, Angus pushed me into the water. As a person who really enjoyed very warm water, this was like a freezing bath to me. I felt the chilly water all around me. I was terrified. This is rude! As I got to the surface, I didn’t see Angus anywhere. What games was he playing? Suddenly I saw Lilian behind me. She fixed her hair and looked at me like she always did, rudely. “Hey there,“ she greeted me and swam nearer to me. “Hi?“ I greeted back but I knew she was planning something. 51

“I want to talk about Angus. Keep your hands away from him,“ she said but this time with a very serious voice. “What do you mean, why?“ I was confused but she began laughing. “Don’t be silly! I know you like him,“ she said. “What are you talking about? Angus is just a friend! I have no plans to seduce him!“ I began laughing. “Well, whatever. Just keep yourself away from him,“ she said and swam away. Okay? That was odd. I had no plans with Angus. I swam out of the water because I was getting cold. As I got to the ladder, I quickly climbed out of the pool and wrapped a towel around my body. I wiped my face dry and put my hair in a bun, but as I did that I heard my phone ring. I forgot where I had even put my bag, but fortunately I found it. It was April. I answered the phone, but she sounded really stressed. “Hey, May! I’m going to be home around eight today. I can’t make anything for dinner. Order something or I don’t know.“ She panicked. “It’s fine, really. I’ll attempt something,“ I said with a reassuring voice. „Okay, good. See you tonight!“ She sounded a bit unsure and hung up. Weird. I was still worried about Rob, something was just really wrong and odd with him. This had been my main thought for a while now. I turned around to grab my clothes, but I saw nobody else but Rob. He was quite far away but I could see him. He was sitting on a cafe terrace, sipping coffee and staring at me. Why was he here? Again, my criminal mind began working but I calmed myself down with a thought that maybe he just came out to spend the day here since he wasn’t working anymore. I grabbed my clothes and walked towards the dressing room to get dressed. When I got out, I could also see Angus. I looked around to see if there was Rob anywhere, but I couldn’t see him so I let out a sigh of relief. “Where were you?“ I asked as I approached Angus. He dried his hair and then looked at me with his messy hair. “Oh, I had to help Derek. I’m sorry that I disappeared.“ He laughed. I gave him a nod and put on my flip-flops. 52

“I need to go home a bit earlier today. My sister’s getting home later today,“ I told him as we were walking away from the pool. Others were following us as well but I was sure Lilian was going to kill me for talking to Angus. “That’s fine. We’ll get some ice cream. You want some too?“ he asked and put his towel in the gym bag. I really didn’t want to be out since I was afraid I was followed. “Well, I don’t think I have the option to say no, so...“ I thought loudly. “That’s right. Or I mean... You do but who can say no to ice cream?“ He laughed. We walked to the ice cream booth. “What ice cream do you usually eat?“ he asked me and looked at the long list of different ice creams. I began thinking. I loved almost every ice cream, ice cream mainly was just really nice if it wouldn’t make my stomach ache. “I really don’t have a specific one,“ I replied, speaking my honest truth. “Come on! Everybody has a favourite ice cream. Even I do.“ He grinned again like he was proud to have a favourite ice cream. “And what is that?“ I asked him, waiting for an impressive taste of ice cream from him. “Have you been to Gelupo? That place is so good! Me and my brother go there every time I visit London, which is pretty often. I have to take you there. Speaking of my favourite is ricotta with sour cherry. But if I can’t have that I always go for chocolate or lemon ice cream,“ he spoke dreamily. I chuckled. “I like raspberry,“ I said out of nowhere as I had been thinking for a while what I like the most.“ “Oh, you do? That’s a nice choice. I’ll get you raspberry then.“ He grabbed his wallet and stepped into the line. I followed him quickly. “No, Angus! I’ll pay for my ice cream myself!“ I protested. “I invited you so I pay.“ He chuckled, not even planning to make up his mind. I sighed. Lilian also arrived with some friends who looked just as rude as her. How beautiful. As Angus was getting us ice creams, I looked around for a bit but my heart was going to fall out of my chest when I saw Rob, again. Was this what he meant when he said he was going to have a go at me? He was standing, again a couple meters away from me, looking at me. I was beginning to get scared and now I didn’t even think that he was here by accident. He was here on purpose. I was scared to go home. I wanted him to leave 53

me alone. What did he want from me anyway? When we got our ice creams, I even asked Angus if he could walk home with me. He was totally fine with it but I thought that maybe Lilian wasn’t happy with it. I was too tired to worry about others’ opinions at the moment. I just wanted somebody to come home with me, I was scared of Rob. We went home at around five o’clock. As we were going home, fortunately I didn’t see any signs of Rob, maybe I was just blind though. When we were in front of the apartment complex, I thanked Angus. He asked if I wanted him to come in as well but I didn’t want to be a coward so I just said no. We said our goodbyes and I went in. When I arrived at the apartment, Rob wasn’t in there. I was thankful but he could come any minute so I couldn’t be sure. I cleaned a bit because I knew April hadn’t been the same lately and I also attempted making chicken with vegetables which came out surprisingly good. I even did the laundry and cleaned the bathroom which I would never usually do. When April finally got home, she seemed really down. I did cheer her up a bit with my attempts of cooking. We sat down at the table and ate. April seemed to be really hungry because she even took a second helping. “How was your day?“ I asked her finally. “Busy, as usual. I really want to sleep,“ She mumbled through her food which made me laugh. “How’s the food?“ I wanted to know. “It’s really good. Did you make it yourself?“ she asked. “Yep, I made it,“ I said proudly. „I also cleaned the place a bit,“ I added. “Thank you so much. Do you mind putting the dishes into the dishwasher? I’m going to take a shower.“ She stood up and looked at her phone. “Sure,“ I replied. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she looked at her phone but she walked away immediately. I really wanted to find out what was going on there. Were there more secrets kept from me?

Chapter 22 2 weeks later I was proud of myself today. We baked a cake. Everybody was given a different recipe and everybody worked in pairs. Me and Angus made a chocolate cake! My favourite. Brittany and Chris also really liked the cake. We could keep a few slices for ourselves as well. I decided to cook for my sister again today. I had got a lot more knowledge and I was a bit more confident in my skills. Rob hadn’t been home for a while. I don’t know where he was staying at. My sister seemed upset and drained, it made me upset as well. I didn’t know what to do to make things better so I just decided a dinner for her and me would maybe warm her heart up. Lilian was still a bully, like always. She kept going around telling everybody that me and Angus are dating, even though we weren’t. She was pissed. Tomorrow I and my friends would like to throw a party. No, not a bad one, just a tiny one to celebrate. Celebrate what you might ask? Well... Celebrate that we had learned cooking and baking... That we had made new friends... And to celebrate summer. We decided to do it at Angus’ place because his brother’s house had a yard so we thought it would be better to throw the party there. “Your cake is delicious!“ Bailey licked her lips. I smiled widely. “Thank you! But it’s not just my cake. Angus put his hand here too!“ I laughed. “Yeah, well I taste your effort more,“ Bailey smiled. “Shh! I have to give credit,“ I said. Bailey stood up and put her plate in the sink. She leaned against the cupboard and thought for a while, until I snapped her out of it. “You there?“ I looked at her. She blinked a few times and nodded. “Are you coming to the party tomorrow?“ she asked. “Yeah, I think so.“ I packed my things. “Okay, cool,“ she said and hummed a song quietly. My thoughts wandered on Rob. It was so weird how he... followed me? What did he want? “You know what’s weird?“ I said out of nowhere.

“What?“ She asked almost immediately. “My sister’s boyfriend is... Sort of following me,“ I said worrily. “What do you mean?“ She looked at me in an amazement. “No joke. About two weeks ago when I was at the pool, he was just standing a couple of meters away just looking at me! And then when we went to get ice cream I saw him again,“ I said. “What? No way. He must be a pervert to look at so young girls,“ Bailey laughed. “It’s not funny! It’s scary!“ I said loudly. “Okay, okay. I know... Yeah, that’s odd. Maybe you should talk to him?“ she suggested. “No! I think he wouldn’t admit it. I should just forget about it.“ I sighed. “No-no! If this continues, talk to him! He’s weird.“ Bailey scrunched her nose in disgust. I nodded worrily and grabbed my bag. “We better get going,“ I said as we both took our things and got out of the building. The rest of the day was a blur. I went to Tesco’s to grab some groceries but just as I was walking home, I got a call from April. She said that she would get home after 12AM so I should cook for myself. Again. And suddenly I was upset. I had bought all these things to prepare a dinner for me and April but now I can’t cook for her. I figured that I would be staying here for almost two weeks more so I had time to impress her. As I got home, I cleaned a bit since the place had got a bit messy. I also made dinner and stored it in the fridge so if April got back she would have something to eat. That night I also had a long bath which made me feel a lot better. I even changed my sheets and sighed in relief as I got into my bed. I was just falling asleep when I heard somebody at the door. I looked at the clock, but it showed 10:40PM. I was surprised because my sister seemed to sound pretty sure when she said she would get home late. I thought she just got home earlier and I closed my eyes again. I couldn’t sleep for long, though. Just when I had fallen asleep, I heard somebody call my name. I opened my eyes and saw Rob standing at the door. Is this a dream? I realized that this was real life not a dream. My heart began beating faster as I just stared at him standing there. My mind wandered on thoughts of seeing him follow me everywhere. My mind raced. “W-what?“ I called out with a weak voice.

„I’m sorry to disturb your sleep like this but I have a few things to discuss with you,“ said Rob, trying to sound sorry but he just sounded like an idiot. His dark hair was wet and his eyes were dark like night. I assumed it was raining outside since he looked like a homeless dog looking for shelter. I had no clue what he had to discuss with me but I stood up anyway. I followed him to the living room, sitting on the couch. “Your mother is a beautiful woman,“ said Rob. He didn’t take a seat, he just stood, backing me and stared out of the window. It wasn’t the darkest yet. It was quite dark, the sun had just set. Is he a complete jerk? Is this all he wanted to talk about just to wake me up? And this is weird that he was calling my mother beautiful. “What? Is that all you wanted to discuss? My mums beauty?“ I said with an annoyed voice. My sleep was disturbed and I was grumpy. “She’s beautiful, just like your sister. But do you know what else they have?“ Rob turned around, facing me. What should they have? What did he want to know? “No?“ I raised my eyebrow. Rob’s eyes darkened. He walked around the room, scratching his stubble. He examined the walls, the surrounding and looked as if he was trying to serve his words with an extra uncomfortable way. “Don’t act like you don’t know anything. I know you know everything but you’re greedy just like the rest of your family!“ Rob’s voice raised. Why is he so aggressive? “What are you talking about?“ I was getting more annoyed. Rob began walking towards me and stopped when he was pretty close to me. “Wow, keep your distance.“ I tried to keep myself together but he was so much taller than me and I was scared. “Your family has a lot of money,“ Rob finally snapped. “Why do you care about the money? I thought you were with my sister for her not money!“ I tried to shrink myself into the couch. “You’re not the one asking questions!“ He grabbed my wrist firmly, he pulled me up roughly. I couldn’t help but wince in pain. Now I understood what he meant with “I’m taking your sister“ thing. “Let me go! What’s wrong with you?!“ I tried to pull myself away but his grip tightened. This isn’t normal.

“Tell me the value passcode and I won’t hurt you,“ Rob smiled. I felt disgusted by him. I was confused. I didn’t know any passcode. My wrist was hurting so bad I wanted to just cry like a baby. “I don’t know any passcodes! Let me go, you’re hurting me!“ I screamed. I felt Rob’s nails pushing into my skin. “You’re just like the rest of your family! Nasty!“ He loosened his grip and pushed me but I didn’t land on the couch, I fell onto the floor. I hit my head against the corner of the coffee table and I couldn’t keep myself back but winced louder in the pain. I grabbed my head, hoping that holding it would make everything better. Tears ran down my cheeks but Rob still looked at me like I knew something. “I don’t know anything! Nobody has told me any passcodes, just leave me alone, god damn it!“ I cried out. “I don’t believe you,“ Rob said angrily. Why is he violent? “Why do you need the money?! I didn’t even know my family had money!“ I hissed. My head was burning. “Everybody needs money. And I know you’re lying,“ he said casually. I lowered my head to the floor, pressing my eyes shut but when I opened them I saw drips of blood on the floor. Is my head bleeding? No-no! But then, to my biggest relief I heard the door opening. “Rob! Let the girl go! She doesn’t know anything, I told you before!“ April yelled. “You idiot! Both the same, keeping secrets from me. I thought relationships were based on honesty.“ I winced at their yelling and hissed a few good words under my breath. My head was hurting so badly, I couldn’t even keep my eyes opened. “Rob, you need to get help. I am not telling you anything and if you won’t stop, I’ll call the cops. Okay?“ April’s voice was a bit calmer now. “You think I’m crazy? Yeah, well you’re the crazy one!“ Rob yelled. I couldn’t do anything. My head hurt too much to the point I even felt dizzy. I gripped the coffee table, grabbing a vase and stood up slowly, hitting Rob with the vase. The vase shattered into a million pieces and I landed onto the corner of the couch but my grip wasn’t strong enough so I fell onto the floor again. This time it hurt even more. I grabbed my head again, realizing my head was all bloody now. Did I really hit my head this hard? Rob yelled in pain and landed onto the floor as well. He kept screaming how crazy we were but I didn’t care. I was protecting us. “Call the cops! What are you waiting for!“ I tried to yell but my voice was as dead as my well-being right now. 58

As soon as I said that, she grabbed her phone and called the ambulance and police out. I couldn’t even describe how I felt. I had so many emotions but at the same time I was laying there numb. I still kept my hand on my head which was bleeding and hurting so bad. My eyes just didn’t stay opened any more. I leaned my back against the couch, closing my eyes and letting out a deep breath. What happened afterwards was like a blur. When the police arrived, Rob tried to stand up and escape but he had got hurt pretty bad so he was caught and taken away. I couldn’t feel anything but my head throbbing, I wasn’t even on my full mind, I didn’t think of anything. My mind was just blank. The paramedics asked me if I was able to walk but I couldn’t even hear them very well, it sounded like they were far away in the distance. Since I wasn’t able to give a solid answer, they laid me on the stretcher and carried me out to the ambulance car. April obviously came with me. I tried so hard to keep my eyes open but they just kept closing until I couldn’t open them at all.

Chapter 23 I woke up in a bright room. This was probably the hospital ward. As I adjusted with the light I already heard April’s voice. “You’re finally awake!” she said happily and wiped her tears. I immediately tried to remember everything. Yesterday’s events washed my mind and my head began aching. I tried to touch my head but my head was covered in something. “Don’t touch! They wrapped a bandage around your head,” April said. I must look silly. Why did they do that? “Wait, did I hit my head that hard?“ I asked her. April sighed, thinking for a bit like she was thinking what to say. “Yeah, you even lost consciousness for a bit,“ April said. “When can I go home?“ I asked again. “You were supposed to get out tomorrow morning, they just want to check up on you today and do some blood tests.” April stood up and stretched herself. “How long have I been here?” I asked again. “You were taken in last night, around 1AM or something like that. You were awake for a bit but you just mumbled and after they were done cleaning you up, you fell asleep.” April sat back down and grabbed her bag. “Oh. What did I mumble?” I was curious. “I didn’t even understand. You said that the paramedics looked like marshmallows and you wanted to squeeze them,” April laughed. I laughed a bit too but my head began throbbing again. “Easy there. Do you want something to eat?” she asked as she took her wallet. To be honest, I was so hungry. I nodded and April left to get some food. But then, I remembered the party was today. I already began thinking of going but then I remembered what situation I was in. I didn’t even have my phone. After a while, April came in with a nurse. The nurse didn’t seem very old, in her early thirties probably. She had dark shiny hair that was braided neatly, she was quite slim and short and she held some kinds of papers. “Good morning. My name is Karen and I am your nurse for today and, well tomorrow morning.” She smiled. She grabbed one of the papers and took a pen. 60

“How are you feeling?” she asked me, waiting to write something down. To be honest, mentally I felt bad but physically... I didn’t feel amazing but I didn’t feel bad either. “I feel okay?” I said with an unsure voice. Karen looked at me, examining me closely. “Any headache? Soreness? Does your body ache?” she kept asking. “Oh, well, my head does ache pretty bad. I feel a bit weak but that’s all.” I shrugged. “Yes, you had a pretty big opened wound on your head, right now you’ve got stitches so I recommend not touching your head,“ said Karen. Stitches? Was it really that bad? “How are your wrists? Do they hurt?” she asked again, scribbling notes down at the same time. “Wrists?” I was confused but as soon as I looked down at them, they were wrapped up with bandages as well. “Yeah, they were hurt pretty bad and they’re bruised. The bruises will go away soon, though, I’m not sure about the cuts. They should be healed by a few weeks,” Karen said and put her pen away. I just nodded and she talked with April for a bit. How could Rob do something like that? Was he sick? He laid his hands on a woman! It was definitely something I wouldn’t forget. I wanted to go home, as far as possible from this sick guy but I had to finish my cooking course. Today, I had to take some tests, as well as I had to go through x-ray. Me and April ate as well. April seemed so tired and upset. I understood. She was disappointed and angry with Rob. I just wanted to hug her and tell her that things would be okay but it wasn’t that easy. I really wanted to walk so I and April walked around the hospital for a bit. It made me feel a lot better, even though my head was aching so badly. I wanted April to go home and get some sleep but she refused to leave me alone here. The rest of the day was nothing special. I did some blood tests, went to x-ray, had doctors ask me a lot of questions. They also cleaned my wound on the head and checked my wrists and that was all. I did get April to go home to shower and do some of her things as well. I asked her to bring my laptop and phone next time. 61

I did make a friend who I shared a hospital ward with, her name was Heidi. She had got into a small car crash and she broke her leg but she was okay. Or so she said. Me and Heidi talked for a while, I found out that Heidi actually lived in Manchester too but her grandparents live here and since her parents are away in Spain she has to stay with her grandparents. Heidi was 16 but she explained that her parents were very overprotective, they refused to let her stay alone at home for two weeks. Honestly, I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let my daughter stay home alone for that long either. Heidi didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any real siblings. Just a stepbrother but he lived in Spain. At 6, I was given some dinner. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t very delicious but I ate it anyway. At around 7, April came with my things and she also brought some sweets for us to eat. Also, that evening I got my test results. I was okay. I did have a concussion and a small blood loss but nothing extreme. I had to keep the bandage on for a few days and they would call me when I would be able to get the stitches off. I also had to keep my head clean and do nothing extreme. What they found out was that I had to start taking vitamins as my vitamin levels were low. Other than that, I was doing okay and tomorrow morning like it was said, I could go home.

Chapter 24 The next morning I felt so stiff. My mind wandered over to Rob immediately. I was happy that the police got him. I hoped that he wouldn’t get away so easily, he was not okay. I had some breakfast, which obviously wasn’t the most delicious but it was edible. I talked to Heidi for a while, she had to get a surgery done on her leg and she was scared. I understood her, I would be too. She was also upset that I was leaving because I was the only one she talked to here, so I gave her my number, just so she could call or text me if she needed it. Around 10AM, Karen came to check me. She wanted to check my wound and bandage. She told me that I had to keep the bigger bandage for some while since I had stitches, I was also given her number in case something would happen or if it bleeds a lot. She gave me instructions how to take care of it and told me it was best if I had someone help me clean it every day. I was also given some medicine that I had to take every day. After a bit, April also arrived. She looked pretty stressed and tired but she pulled it off like always, she wore beige pants with a dark blouse and a grey jacket. She looked pretty good. Karen also told April about some aftercare and medicine and then asked her to sign some kind of a paper. I was good to go so I took my clothes and packed my things. April had brought me some black leggings and a light pink jumper so I put my clothes on. The good thing was, I could hide my head in my hood so that was just what I did. I packed my things and we were ready to go. I told my goodbyes to Heidi and left. When we arrived home, the atmosphere was kind of icy. I looked at the living room, remembering what had happened. I felt so bad that I just wanted to go home. I was upset that things had taken this kind of a turn. I thought that it would of been a nice holiday. At least Rob couldn’t hurt us for a while. Or well, I hoped so. I cleaned the apartment again because it had got messy. I wasn’t supposed to do too much with my bandage but I hated it when things were out of hands so I didn’t bother. April had to go to school because she had a lecture today so I stayed home. I checked my phone, noticing that Angus had sent me a text, asking if I got out of the hospital. He wanted to come over and bring some food. He also said he wanted to know every detail. Since my mood was so low I just let him do that. I cleaned the kitchen as well because the kitchen looked the worst and I also had to take the trash out but I just couldn’t do it because my head began hurting. After a bit, I could hear the doorbell, assuming it was Angus, so I let him in. There he stood with two paper bags, smiling at me like a freak and bursting out in laughter when he saw my head which was just covered in bandage so I probably looked like an egg. However his smile soon faded when he realised it wasn’t so fun 63

for me. He put the paper bags down and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. My mood was so low that I just began crying into his shoulder, not even caring that his white shirt would be soaked with my tears. Angus rubbed my back as we just stood there and I cried my eyes out. After I felt no tears come out of my eyes any more, I pulled away and smiled through my tears. “What happened to you?” Angus asked as he examined me up and down. I didn’t even want to tell him but I knew I had to. He wouldn’t leave me alone otherwise. “I’ll tell you in a bit. Let’s eat first,“ I said quietly. Angus just nodded and we walked to the living room. I didn’t want to be here any more, I remembered everything too well. Things that had happened in this living room haunted me. I didn’t even sit on the couch I was sitting on that night. Angus laid the pizza on the table with some coke and I turned on the TV. We sat for a while, eating like two pigs. It almost made me feel a bit better, not thinking about it. But it was hard, every time my mind wandered on the other couch I could feel the bad vibe. “Do you want to tell me about it now?“ he asked after a while of watching TV. I sighed. Loudly. I didn’t want to. I was trying hard not to think about it but I knew Angus was curious. “My sister’s boyfriend attacked me,“ I simply said. I knew he wanted a more detailed answer which I just couldn’t give him. “What?“ Angus choked on his coke. “Yeah, he attacked me. I’m not sure if I should tell you the reasons... I think they’re a bit personal but I didn’t do anything if you’re wondering,“ I said and looked away. Angus was silent. His mouth kept opening and closing and then he looked away, like he was trying to believe me. “Why would he want to attack you?“ he asked almost whispering. I chuckled. I didn’t know the answer to that either. Maybe he had his own problems and he didn’t know how to ask nicely. “I don’t know,“ I simply answered and grabbed the empty pizza box, dragging my lazy body to the kitchen to throw it away. As I got back, Angus had already changed the channel and ate popcorn.

“How’s relationships with your sister? Are you two getting along?“ he asked his mouth full. “I don’t know. Our relationship is weird. We haven’t really argued so I guess we are getting along,“ I smiled softly, hoping he wouldn’t ask more. “What do you mean weird?“ He kept digging. I hated his curiosity. “She was hiding things from me. That’s weird.“ I gave him a simply answer and took a handful of popcorn from him. Fortunately, Angus didn’t ask any more questions and we watched TV in peace. The rest of the day wasn’t anything special, we kept watching a marathon of shows and going through the books on the bookcase. Angus left at five and I was left home all alone with this empty feeling. I couldn’t do almost anything with this bandaged head but play the lazy game which consisted of being in bed all day every day. I decided to go and took a look at myself in the mirror since I hadn’t done that. And yes, now I understood why Angus laughed. I did look pretty funny. Even I laughed at myself. I wasn’t bothered to be moody about my appearance and went to the kitchen to cook something for April for when she would get home. Just in the middle of cooking I heard the door. It was April. She seemed a lot much healthier. She even had a big smile spread across her face. “Hey there!“ she greeted me and put her bag on the kitchen stool. “Hey,“ I greeted back and grabbed plates for us. “I smell food.“ She imitated sniffing and walked closer to me, looking at the food I had prepared. “Yep, I made life easier for you. Besides, I was really bored.“ I put some food on the plates and took them to the table. “That’s good. How are you feeling?“ she asked as she went to the sink to wash her hands. “Oh, a lot better. Just a bit more tired than usual,“ I replied simply, bringing some more food to the table. Me and April chatted a bit as we were eating but I still had to know what money did Rob want. I decided to ask her the next day because I just enjoyed her good mood right now, which made me happier as well.

Chapter 25 The next day I felt a lot better and more refreshed than ever before. I wanted to go to the cooking class but I knew April wouldn’t approve since the sudden well feeling might not always lead to good things. April had a day off and she decided to show me around in London. We had some toast with eggs for breakfast and set off to see the town. I had been to London before but only once. Weird, right? You live in England but you have visited London only for once. First, she took me to the river Thames. We drove across Tower Bridge and it actually seemed pretty. April told me it would be even prettier at night but she wanted to show me the river first for some reason. Next, we took a walk at Hyde Park. It was prettier than I thought. I thought it was just going to be an ordinary boring park but it wasn’t. There were quite many statues and sculptures around the park, we didn’t go through the whole park but April said we could rent bikes some time when I come again and ride through the park. I obviously saw Big Ben and the London Eye but I didn’t go on it. As the last thing we visited Oxford Street. There were musicians playing music and trying to earn a few pennies, so many stores I wanted to peak into. The street was so busy! There were so many people and we left the car quite far away from Oxford street because there was no point to climb there with your car. Obviously at such a busy place the prices weren’t the cheapest but we still shopped a bit. April bought herself a really beautiful silver bracelet and new ballerinas and I bought some sneakers and a white shirt with some flowers on it. The shirt was pretty pricey but April said it really brings out my best features and I also liked it a lot so I bought it. The crowd made us really tired so we decided to have a tea and a snack and then go home. We went to Starbucks because it was on our way and we weren’t bothered to search. Starbucks was very crowded and we had to wait in the line but the service was quick so after we had got our things we stormed into our car from the crowd. It was already the evening but Oxford Street had no signs of calming down. As we were driving home I sipped on my tea. We also had to go to Tesco because there was no food at home. After we had brought some food, we were finally ready to go home. I remembered that I wanted to ask April about the money my family had but again, April seemed so calm right now I really didn’t want to break the mood. I sighed loudly and finished my tea. April looked at me for a second, raising her eyebrows and giving me a questionable look. I shook my head and just told her to forget about it. When we got home, we decided to watch a movie but first we had to clean my wound. I had been with this terrible bandage and I wasn’t supposed to do a lot but I did anyway. My head was aching really bad I just wanted to sleep. I didn’t watch TV because I was just too tired to do so and I fell asleep with the heart ache of not asking about my family.

Chapter 26 The next morning I woke up pretty early. I wanted to go to the cooking class today so that’s just what I did. I decided to ask April about the money tonight. I just had to. The breakfast was silent. April was going through her schoolwork and sipping on her coffee at the same time. I was just scrolling through social media like every other teenager. Today, I got to wear my new sneakers which were just so comfortable. I felt like a whole new person and I knew I looked like an egg so I covered my head with the hood of my hoodie. Everybody asked what had happened to me, I even felt sick because all the attention was on me and everybody, like everybody asked how I had got that bandage and what had happened to my wrists and so on. I just wanted everything to be back normal again. Was that too much to ask for? I had got left behind so I had to stay an extra hour to study the things I had got left out on. It wasn’t too hard, though. I was invited out today again but I didn’t go. I knew my head was gonna start aching and I didn’t want to deal with that. When I got home, I cuddled up on the couch with some tea and a good book. It was half past three so April would get home pretty soon. I began reading and hoped for the best, trying to ignore the ache in my chest. When I opened my eyes, somebody had turned the TV on and put a blanket on me. I looked around and finally saw April in the kitchen, cooking something. I sighed. I really wanted to wash my hair but I couldn’t. At least not before I get this bandage off. I greeted April and she greeted me back with a wide smile. She was putting food on the table and I sat down, taking a deep breath. When she sat down, I got my crap together and asked her finally. “April, can I ask you something?“ My voice was shaky. April looked up from her plate. Why can asking such a simple thing be hard? “I think you haven’t told me everything. I mean... It’s not even about you it’s about everybody. I want to know about the money. I have the right to know, I was attacked because of it!“ I burst my words out. April looked away like she was thinking what to say. She put her fork down and entwined her fingers, sighing. “I’m sorry that you didn’t know. I know you probably should’ve known before but nobody thought it’s important for you to know yet,“ April gulped and the room was silent again. 67

“I’m tired of these secrets! Do you think I feel good now? I was attacked, April!“ My voice raised a bit but I regretted it instantly. “I know, I know! Don’t yell!“ April sighed again. “This money was from dad’s mother. It’s a bequest. Mum and dad are growing it now and this money is kept for universities and for our living. It’s a lot of money and Rob found out about it through a text. After that he became a monster, he wanted a portion of that money but it’s not meant for him,“ said April. But still, why didn’t I know anything about it? That’s not a reason! “Yeah, but why didn’t mum tell me about it?“ I asked April again. “Because she thought she would tell you when you finish this school and start to think what you want to study next,“ April said and stood up, picking up her plate. Oh. I was still mad. I just mumbled an okay and ate my food. The rest of the evening was pretty silent. I read my book, now with a non aching heart because I found out about the secret that had been paining me for a while. The next morning wasn’t so silent. April was going to take a yoga class today. I was going to school, again but thankfully it was Friday. Today we also made a main course and after school, surprisingly or not I was invited out again. However, today I decided to go. I wasn’t staying here for a long time anymore and I wanted to take my last from it. Thankfully, Lilian didn’t come today. It was just me, Athena, Angus, Bailey, Joseph and Derek. We went out for a walk and then we went out to eat. We made jokes and had a good time, I even began to like it here. I didn’t care that I had this stupid bandage on my head, I felt good. We ate a lot. And if I say a lot, it means a lot. We couldn’t even stand up afterwards. We wanted to go to the cinema as well but there was nothing that we wanted to see so we just tried to walk our food off. I even noticed that Bailey and Derek got a spark. That’s adorable. The rest of the day consisted of us walking around the town, acting like fools. We had coffees, ice creams and went on a small shopping spree, I bought a new hoodie to cover my head in and I also bought really comfortable leggings. Like always, Angus walked home with me and hugged me before he left. Today had been a good day and I felt happy for my purchase. I got home pretty late though, I wasn’t used to arriving home and April being there already. April had made cupcakes, we also decided to have a girls’ type of night. We did face masks, made hot chocolate, painted our nails and talked about boys. I 68

really felt the bond that night. We watched TV series from Netflix and fell asleep on the couch. Chapter 27 1 week later It was time for me to go. I even cried last night. I liked it here a lot but I also missed my family. Even though there were secrets kept from me and I had to find out about them by myself because that’s just how I am. A truth seeker. I wanted to hug everybody from my family, I wanted to go home and smell the food my mum always makes so well, I wanted to see my dad. Yes, he wasn’t my real dad but he had been there for me more than anyone else. I loved him. But then... There’s London. All my new friends are here, my new life is here. I loved it here. It just wasn’t meant to be. I had to go. I opened the drawer of my dresser and stared at the piled clothes. I sighed loudly. I took my suitcase and put it onto my bed, beginning to put all my clothes into it. My stomach had this dropped feeling. I couldn’t even fit everything because I had bought new clothes, so I had to fit some in my second bag. I took a long glance at my room. I knew I would be coming back at some point but I didn’t know when. I stole a book from the dresser because it was just too good to leave behind. I rolled my suitcase out from my room along with my other things and looked around the apartment with an upset look. Soon enough, April also came but with a... suitcase as well? Where was she going? “Where are you going?“ I asked with a surprised voice. April grinned. “I’m coming with you. I’ll be staying for a little bit. It’s gonna be lonely without anybody here,“ April said and went back into the living room. I was surprised. Suddenly, I wasn’t so sad anymore. I was just upset to leave my friends here like this. I already said my goodbyes to them but still. April checked that all the power sources were out and that she wouldn’t forget anything. I took a last glance at the apartment and we went out. The wind flew through my hair as we walked towards the car, I even shivered a bit. We put our things into the car and we sat in. And this was it. My London journey was over. Thank you. Thanks to my parents, thanks to my friends, thanks to even my old friends, thank YOU for keeping up with me. And thank you Angus for being here for me when I needed the supporting shoulder the most.