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Shades of Yous

90 + 2 poems in 4 sections

Ludger Philips


Shades of Yous o Dense Thoughts o Traces of Fire – Encounters o Contours of Encounters o Autumn Light under the Moon Node

90 + 2 poems in 4 sections June – October 2009

Ludger Philips


Shades of Yous The German volume of poems “Schattierungen von Dus" (Shades of Yous) was published at spring equinox 2013. Now, one year later, they are published in English as well. The translation was done by the author and proof-read by Vijay Ganugula, New Jersey, USA. I'm very grateful for his suggestions and feedbacks. The 90 + 2 poems were written between June-October 2009 and were distributed in 4 sections. 3.5 years later, they were published as a digital work in German together with photos taken by friends and myself, illustrating the tonality and the motives of the poems. As per demand, this book is also produced as a photo book in individual printing. The poems speak of the reverberation of encounters, of wounds and their healing, of dangers of the way and surprises of everyday life. To my surprise I noticed that the “Schattierungen von Dus" was published exactly 33 years after my first volume of poems, the “Song of Silence” (1980), and that it touched some of the motives that were already present at that time. Easter 2014


Christa, Cristina, Dinu, Eva & Hans, Gustavo, Fernando, Joan Ma, Martine, Miquel & Rosa, Nikolai Thank you very much for your photos !

Most of the pictures come from my own collection. They serve as illustrations of the tonality of the poems and the motives. They often lasted only for a short moment, where suddenly Kairos, the space of a successful encounter, opened up. These poems also come from this place. May they give the readers access to this space. Ludger Philips March 2013


Dichte Gedanken

Trauen Miss-Trauen Mich trauen

Dense Thoughts

Ver-Trauen An-Ver-Trauen Treue

Shades of Yous – 1

Reue tragen ver-tragen Trost Ost Sonne

27 poems mostly from morning hours of 18 days in June 7 – 24 June 09 St. John 2009

nähren Nähe


Trust

Letting

Mis-trust

and

Self-trust

Allowing

Confide

Letting happen

Entrust

Involving

Troth

Surrendering

Remorse

Committing

Endure

Distrust ceases -

Reconcile

Trusting

Solace

Daring

East

Trust in oneself

Sun

Dreaming

Nurture

Trusty

Nearness 7 June 09


Please ! No Answer ! A tender flower ! Fragile !!! Delete - Delete - Delete1

Lethe2 Mnemosyne3 1 Delete:

7 June 09

engl.: erase

2 According

to Greek mythology ,Lethe is one of the rivers of the underworld. The name comes from the ancient Greek language and literally means forgetfulness or oblivion. (Wikipedia)

3 According

to the mysteries, besides Lethe there is the river Mnemosyne, and after the transition we can drink from both. Those who drink from Mnemosyne remember all and are privileged with the gift of omniscience.


Waiting

Waiting

in silence

for the pain

Open

to ease

for the opening

which accompanies

of the door

until

Waiting

merging

for the echo

in be-ness

of the You through which IT smiles at me

9 June 09


Dressing

The mist of bad mood

thought-impulses

evaporates

into word-vestments

The vastness

Giving away

of the serene space

the treasures of the soul

remains

Splashes of joy laughs away the darkness lights up dolorous paths The reverberation in other hearts strengthens

the power of reconstruction Inspiration breathes through from the high sources

9 June 09


The fresh dew of the New lies at the threshold. Bare feet stride over virgin ground, never been touched by another one. The eye of the soul conquers original new ground

with the very delicate view, gives healing to the crusted wounds of the past. Aurora1 dawn rising 9 June 09

1 The

Roman Goddess of Dawn. Title of a book of the medieval mystic Jakob Bรถhme.


After long years of silence the doors of thoughts open anew; unthought surges out. The signs indicate a storm brewing. But dialogue is still too early in mined terrains, where a wrong step is enough to close them anew in the You.

But at the horizon future times are waving, open, common paths. Hope waits in stillness and stills the waiting. 10 June 09


They are sitting at the fountain, the Norns, 1 and weave anew their ancient cloth of old and new. I put on the cloth with wonderous figures and surprising forms of life, but I’m not it, neither does it bind anymore.

1 In

Urd, Werdandi and Skuld, just continue weaving a good thread for a lighter garment for the ceremony of the wedding of Uranos’ children. I’m looking forward to the reunion. 10 June 09

the Edda, female beings of Norse mythology rule the destiny of gods and men. They are called Urd (what has come to existence), Werdandi (the becoming) and Skuld (what has to become), that is, past, present, and future. According to the Völuspá, they live at the roots of the World Tree, the great Ash Tree at the well of fate.


Neptunian muse drops bright-sounding tones into the soul from the depth of space. Her secret-apparent meeting with Jupiter in me brings out of the fullness an overabundance down into the language. Aquarian flow. The pot was never closed, only the mouth of the mind. Unfathomable joy about the new dance of the words.


Double-bind messages1 are misunderstood if not the ear hears the underlying need speaking between the lines. “No Answer ! “calls for an answer, but at the same time fear of the “No !” is to be heard, of a refused hand, of the pain of mutual hurt. As long as the ground is fragile, no light-hearted step can walk over the bridge, subtle words can provoke fear of one’s own shadow.

1 Double-bind

Time heals wounds, when the breath of the healing wing-beat of the butterfly softly caresses them. A new innocence of the gently opening soul is a risk, a slow growing. But the force of inner comfort gives security, and the ambivalent fear evaporates in the light of the sun.

10 June 09

messages: In pychology messages with a paradox content (yes and no) causing confusion.


Cover after cover

and passes through

Alas if the opening

the spark point

all protective veils

only comes from one side

of existence

without restraint,

if it is not

wraps up

touches the core

a mutual approaching

and faces

with the core.

and giving of closeness.

as my being

Through the magic of magnetism

Gaping wounds shake.

all yous.

the cores are attracted,

The opening

They remain,

energy is released in the

doesn't close completely.

and also me,

intimate closeness

But through the door

an interplay

leading to fusion.

which the pain has opened,

of encounters

In the presence

profoundity enters,

separated by

of the holy you

through which a high ray

the inner sheaths.

the holiest me

can be received and

Only rarely

is open,

passed on,

comes a you

unprotected.

giving away holy healing. 12 June 09


Oyster Pearls. The nearness of thoughts is still too early. Congealed fire otherwise burns. Chitta Chora1 . 12 June 09

1 Chitta

Chora: Thief of the heart, thief of the mind (name for Krishna)


No sound resounds

but the healing of wounds

from the depths of sorrow.

needs time.

The doors remain closed.

Lost closeness

A cold hand

and trust

holds back the word

cannot be

from the flight into the expanse.

re-evoked.

Old layers of

The crows

age-old stories

in the deep blue

vibrate like a

of the morning sky

distant tremor of the earth.

announce no harm,

The ground seems to be brittle

but extol the beauty

and I ask myself

of the morning.

why this pain

And the sun,

keeps on rising

mighty and clear,

like a poisonous gas

brings a new wave

from out of a crevice.

of warmth and of life,

The mind knows, these are

also into my heart.

passing shadows, 13 June 09


Which way

Wakefully

the wind of change blows?

I observe

Does it come from outside

both sides,

into me and

listen

drive away old leaves?

to the distant swoosh,

Or is it

waiting

through the opening

at the threshold.

of an inner door, which suddenly opens and surprises me by the unexpected direction of its stream?

14 June 09


Word-skiffs bring rich goods from faraway countries across the sea. Smells and

multicoloured sounds tell of unknown territories of the eighth continent. They land on the bank of my heart and joyfully I receive their freight. 14 June 09


The intensity

to whom I give

of the experience

a meal of experience.

feigns permanence.

Then they pass on,

Deep sorrow,

often without goodbye,

pain

and another guest

as well as joy

knocks at the door

are very present

and seeks entry,

in the presence,

which I grant him.

suffuse me completely

A coming and going,

by the directness

which I am not.

of their impact.

I AM

Even if they colour

in the vastness of the space

the note of feeling

inside,

for days or months,

and protrude beyond

while their melody

into the You,

strongly resonates in me,

where we meet

they are nevertheless

beyond the ground.

just wanderers, who temporarily take refuge in my harborage,

15 June 09


In the dialogue with you

Ground comes up again

I still feel like on thin ice.

by sensing you

My sensorium

through the echo of your words,

doesn't know,

between the lines,

where I touch a wound,

the sound,

where a red light blinks

the colour of thoughts.

and warns not to move on.

A tentative approach

My normal security

through darkness.

is not

Over there,

and I feel every step

at the end of the hallway,

as a hazard

confidence waves.

in unknown grounds. The familiar, natural comfort is not again there.

15 June 09


Where out of the depth of the silent space

a single, silvery word falls down through the opened gap

there is the place that gives the power to my thoughts to ascend with angel wings.

and brings a fresh message, which drives my activity to new, unexpected ways, where the presence of intimate touch lets its loving hand glide over my

and where the guiding thread is firmly anchored in my heart

16 June 09


Delicate pink ribbed clouds

Pictures and people

announce the rise

pass by

of the sun,

on their

whose rays

own tracks.

gleam up

My thoughts

in vibrant gold

wave to them

between hills and roofs

and sink

into the new day.

into the stream

The streets are still silent

of events.

like waiting fraught with tension.

I travel

The traffic signals

and I remain

change their light

still

and the screeching

in me.

of the rails makes the tram

17 June 09

enter into me, absorbs me into it and away into the day.

Beginning of a journey to Germany, summer solstice seminar


In these times

And nevertheless

of irritating change

the soul knows the plan,

the way through life

is aware of the direction,

often isn't easy

softly draws to you

and the place

the fabric

where you can

for the guiding thread.

unfold your work

It gives security

is covered by

and assurance,

mirroring perspectives.

is part of the cloth

Expectations

of be-ness,

lead to wrong paths

which coats

and the fears of others

and holds us

blur the view

and creates a home.

of the path

Trust

like swirling sand,

carries

covering the signs.

the next step ahead. 17 June 09 on the way to Germany


The train stops,

Many run in similar directions,

returns

but with which goal?

to the last station.

In precarious times

An emergency. Suicide?

insecurity and diffuseness

Together with many others

are continuous companions.

I walk from train to train,

But like in a wakeful,

pass on,

lucid dream,

and a second change

I walk on,

into another train.

firm and carried,

The next train breaks down

protected

on the running line.

in the inner,

Gearbox failure. Waiting.

the inner hand,

The scheduled security

of my teacher,

dissolves

Guru,

into new, changing structures,

driving away fears.

like concepts of life change at interchange points.

17 June 09 on the way to Germany


Mechanical flow of thoughts

I like the quick flow

often runs away

of the intense stream

with me

of time.

to their own destinations.

Vital energy.

Late I say, Stop!

Pulsating heart-beat

Where do you go?

of the Mother.

And where am I?

The joy carries

Millstone ways

me

move in circles

to you.

and grind at an idle speed. If inner wakefulness is active, I feel the flow of events and glide through them like a swimmer

enjoying swimming.

18 June 09


I encounter

probably without

the lucid shadow of you

your being conscious

in various talks,

of their vibrations.

contacts of my contacts,

Spellbound I listen to

help for friends,

the magic image

subtle touch of hearts

of the spotlight

through the gaze.

of fleeting sensations

The inner echo

with joy in the heart.

also resounds in the outer. The trace of the word of your being makes its ways and sends to me greetings from unknown shores The group is like a hall, where your steps wash their waves to me

from many walls of souls,

19 June 09


The music

Fullness of silence,

of the gaze

pulsating heartbeat

of your eyes

of respiration

makes my soul

perfuses me

dance with joy.

in wakeful awareness.

The colours

Even gratitude

of your words

fades away,

lift me up

while

into the canopy of stars

the line

of my head,

between you and me

where in vast spaces

disappears.

they merge with the dark blue

21 June 09

of the depth, beyond the adamantine refulgence.

for Sri Kumar, Summer Solstice


Into the delicate pink sky

with the flow of giving

and makes Venus

of the dawn of summer,

dance in us,

which starts to decline

from the closeness of the heart,

and to withdraw its brightness,

which receives a stitch

the bloom

Venus sends a soul laugh

by rejection,

of the shades of yous

to the people still sleeping

which pains me to hear.

blithely merging

in moonless night,

Why

into my depth.

that they might open up

do we shun each other?

to the distress of the yous

lock ourselves up,

and no longer,

securing the insecurity?

talking love,

Only when the moon

might marginalize

lets again

a seemingly strange brother ,

shine through

for they joyfully

the great love

inter-penetrate

I feel the

22 June 09 New moon at summer solstice time, with Venus in the clouds the early morning sky


From out of the fire of the solstice ritual all of a sudden a jet-flame rises1 at the soft flow of the Cancer moon milk and shocks the beholders. Does the messenger of the approaching event step violently with a firm, beautiful pace into the new arc of time? 22 June 09

1 During

the fire ritual at summer solstice in Bad Essen on 21 June Sri Kumar poured at the end some milk into the pot, which mixed with ghee and caused an enormous jet-flame.


In the corridor of time

and makes me fritter away

invisible hands open

lavishly

silent doors

the flowers of time

into my rooms of experience,

to yous

which an unobservant eye

who receive them with joy

easily overlooks.

in giving and taking

But the soft breath of wind,

of heart and of help,

which touches me

dispelling

from over there

the dangers and pains

with the smell of promise

of the dense clouds of the path,

of growth and

bringing relief

of clear vastness,

to the waiting wayfarers.

lures my steps through the moment of opening. The silent guidance fills me with wonder, calling seemingly self-evidently

but magically-tenderly over the thresholds

23 June 09


Where is the key

until the rhythm

to right, joint action?

of the pulsation of our being

Not my idea,

is only one,

but his one,

breathing holiness

which becomes ours

in healing activity.

through joint understanding, and where the steps don't lead to me but to the yous, to whom they bring their light. The measure is simplicity and gentleness in silently walking side by side, heart by heart,

24 June 09


Traces of Fire – Encounters Shades of Yous – 2 Chronological continuation 18 poems as a summer harvest from morning hours in Cancer 09 26 June – 12 July 09


In the cocoon of concepts

and your asking

and of spinning thoughts

makes the glass wall in me

which rush by,

burst

I don't hear your call,

so that I can pass through

don't see

to you.

that you

An encased pain

need my attention,

urges to penetrate

don't perceive

the coat of the larva,

your warning sign

so that the butterfly

of exhaustion.

can open the wings

Only late

to feel the pulse of your life

do I feel

in me

your need

with empathic presence, finding myself in it. 26 June 09


Words

Hardly the thoughts

fly through the soul window,

have flown away

amplified electronically

from the origin,

to you.

they are,

Without echo.

when I look after them

Are they spamming?

tied back and

Digital bottle post

bound to me

thrown into the net ocean?

through my bond

Or do I,

of waiting for an answer,

like Narcissus,

which menaces to bind me.

self-centred,

Forgetting is not detachment.

only look into the mirror image of my own fountain, echoing from the I and I, and I, without a door,

trapped in expectations?

I take the bond, put it on the altar and ask that it might burn and I might be free in be-ness. 27 June 09


Again and again

and I,

my wing

terrified,

butted against

broke out too strongly

the inner of the eggshell.

with shattering emotions

I couldn't come out

of unknown vehemence,

to the you.

which threatened to frighten?

Caught,

The impact of birth is over

and like drowsing,

but still unsure

though awake,

I begin

distant from the vastnesses

to unfold my wings

of the blue exterior space

with new movements

of the deep encounter.

of the soul

Was it from outside

which would like to soar up

or an urge from inside

to you, and to you, and you,

that sent a fiery urge

exuding into YOU.

up from abysses against the walls

which burst,

28 June 09


There are profound paths

even if we don't see

mostly hidden to the eye

his hand.

which bring people together

The seed has to be sown

to join action.

before it brings in us

A distant reverberation

the flower and fruit.

might be perceived

Who was the early morning sower ?

like a call which we would like to follow to continue weaving

Gratefully we reap the fruits of his labour.

the fabric of fate, to take out twisted strands and to wattle into it new, purer patterns for the beauty of the garment The united striving unites us and guides us to the One who guides us,

29 June 09


No words are forming

that vision and insight

for you,

might bring relief

only silence

and that waiting for release

and a distant yearning.

might open for them a door

Is it unrest?

through one's own walls

Or is a train vibrating by

of pretending perceptions.

in the vastness

So many walls

with unknown travellers of destiny,

built with the stone and mortar

whose net fabric

of misconceptions.

echoes over to me?

Pain pushes to open

Images are emerging

for love

on the screen of the inner,

which my aura lets in,

0f distress

if a silent understanding

and of ignorant suffering

of a Yes

which, collecting them,

permits it

I put on the altar of my heart

with gratitude

with the request

It is That. 30 June 09


The door closes

not waiting but ready

not for ever

for the arrival of new ships,

but there are times of transitions,

which bring other freights

where it is better

from future harbours.

to exercise caution

The waves breathe again

and where also in you

their pulsating rhythm,

transformations, like road works,

and I look over

don't allow talking on open terms

to the rising sun

and the dialogue

of a radiant morning.

seems to die away. It is difficult to weave to the other side a thread that finds another shore, or where the boat is too far away. But I stand

at the pier of thoughts,

1 July 09


I encounter only a few

It is volatile and delicate,

who conduct the art of subtle dialogue

Kairos 1, a successful moment,

in written language and where the play,

where the gate remain wide open and thus the continuance

like a ping-pong,

might let a touch of the ray of eternity to enter

of the exchange of thoughts

and give joyous fulfilment,

doesn't quickly fall flat

a foreboding of future bliss.

and the opening

Moods quickly change

to the deep currents

in the maelstrom of everyday life,

of empathic listening,

but repeated opening

sharing and giving

of the doors of the conversation of the heart

of even bold words is being held by containing hands of the heart. 1 Kairos

is a Greek expression for the favourable moment of a decision, which might turn disadvantageous, if it is allowed to elapse. The name comes from Greek mythology, where Kairos is the God of the favourable opportunity and of the right moment. According to the poet Ion of Chios (490–421 BC) Kairos is the youngest son of Zeus. according to Wikipedia

provides views into the land of joy, which lies still in the background and connects and sustains. 2 July 09


River rafting

Interplay,

through the rapids

which also carries you

of thoughts in

through me

ensouled talk,

into the point which unites

where one word

and makes disappear the distance

gives the next one as a present of attention. Like a fresh spray the sparks of ideas fly and unfold, like comets, their luminous paths through the current.

in the silence of speaking, from out of which the joy springs up. A solemn ritual

of the exuding moment of eternity.

Fascination of flowing captures me and carries me away to you, where I meet me mirrored and yet

very close in me.

3 July 09


At times counter-currents flow and obstruct with their irritating, iridescent,

and powers the sails of the boat

and the steersman recognizes again the direction,

diffusing, dissonant

looking at the stars shining in the distance

sounds of feelings and of colours

which show the way

the access to the guiding sound

with signs readable for the knower.

for the listening ear, and wisps of the fog of exhaustion make the inner impulse of progression wane to an ebb tide,

like a retraction,

I wait and listen and look, how a new breeze forms over the surface of the rippling water to catch its breath with the power of their sails.

an inhalation which absorbingly draws inwards.

The challenge is to wait until the wind comes up again

4 July 09


Wandering through the vastnesses of the cosmic ray, space secured from the primary source you shed your rays, and passed on in the game Helios 1, of receiving and giving, to us who we, like plants which only till into my heart. sense your presence forebodingly It cannot end there, but who would wither away for fullness strives to expand, without the lifeblood of your ether. to flow, But you are also just an opening to give itself away. to the higher spring And thus I offer you 2 you call Savitru from the juice of nourishing life and which nourishes you, a chalice, filled with light, in league with your so that the drop eleven siblings, might flow on with whom you dance the roundelay through you to the ocean around a higher centre, of its destiny, the central sun, merging us which again gives and receives into itself. from its source, Bhargo Deva3 ,

1 Helios

5 July 09

is the Greek name for the sun. is the Sanskrit name for the soul of the sun radiating through the physical sun. 3 Bhargo Deva is the Sanskrit name for the spirit aspect of the sun, the Cosmic Sun. 2 Savitru


Some feelings I hide

Walking into the depths,

deep below layers of

to the mines of suppressed pain,

other sensations and thoughts,

is difficult,

for they carry in themselves

but only if the black rocks

painful memories,

are raised out of the pits and

unfulfilled yearning

brought to the smelting,

like relations to

golden ore can flow out of them

illegitimate children of mind.

and become the sacrificial bowls

But the bonds to them remain

on the altars

and at times urge up to the light

and the chalices

of consciousness,

receiving divine nectar

waiting for redemption

from the Gods,

from afar.

like the whisking of the Milky Ocean1

They tune moods

in ancient times,

of underground,

through the forces of Light and of Darkness,

diffuse, but clearly breaking the sound

threw forth

which wants to sound brightly and

the Drink of Immortality

spread radiantly.

as a gift of the depth. 7 July 09

1 The

Puranas describe how the Devas (gods) join forces with their antagonists, the Asuras (demons), to beat the Milky Ocean, out of which finally the drink of immortality emerges, Amrita.


In tight grains

to prepare out of the grain

the fruit of the summer harvest

of the individual I's,

is ripening for the future

united with the yous,

bread of understanding.

a fragrant, nourishing bread

They want to be milled,

as food for many

soaked, kneaded,

who hunger for

added with fermentation of time

the fulfilling joy

and the intense pressure

of being.

of almost unbearable heat of the crisis of transformation. The Great Baker knows to conduct us through the flaming steps of birth,

8 July 09


Could I not read

calling for receptacles

the weather report

to receive it and contain.

of your country,

The electric tension

when hot, quick summer winds

draws a mighty reverberation

of my day met the warm air

into space

over your deep lakes

and the refreshing waters

which were full of silent life?

wash away the dust

All of a sudden

deep black clouds pile up in the blue of the sky like threatening walls out of which a heavy flash

hit your heart and rain poured down

which covered the understanding

and open the dams between us, so that our stream flows again together to the distant ocean, whose call our souls follow.

from out of old wounds 9 July 09


As you entrust me

And this balm

your upsetting experiences

rises from your inner

of cruelty,

and forms a shield

my heart opens wide

parrying the impact

and becomes a caring container of love

of the blows

cautiously receiving into itself the shock of violence and puts it down at the healing, light-filled source, where a secret alchemy of being invokes the forces of wound healing and coats the cruel traces on your shell with balm.

and through its force of protection gives you again secureness and the feeling of being carried

by the divine hand. 10 July 09


I am fed up with silence!

Strange paradox:

Like an unshackling bird,

The vastness approaches out of the point

like Saraswathi's1 Swans, words swing upwards with inspiring joy and surge into the expanse. Why should I bind you with chains,

at the centre and the distance of the horizon strings narrowness of the loss

of myself. But when the spark points

whereas you, white doves,

germinate and become

draw radiant traces of words

the blazing fire of love,

into a sky of gloomy times,

the outer and the inner blend

bringers of peace,

to the blaze of intense existence

messengers of deep

and nothing remains

which call back

but ‌

into the penetrating inner space

1 Saraswathi

10 July 09

is the goddess of the Divine Word; the pulsations of the Word come out of her like swans, see Dr. K. P. Kumar, Saraswathi. The Word.


I am an intensity junkie

seems to lead to a

in search of the kick

dusky state of sleep

of the deep encounter.

of oblivion,

At times it is difficult

where many seem to be satisfied

to get the drug,

with a pale substitute.

for it is kept locked

Do they know the intensity of the original?

like some secret good and only traded concealed as if it weren't abundantly available in us. We lose ourselves outside and the thirst for the juice of

In the profound encounter words charged with experience pass over between us

like magic light which throws a charm into space and keeps us in the spell of presence,

giving the love of attention, receiving fulfilment.

the fiery impulse of life 10 July 09


At times luminous signs of yous

with searching questions

appear on the radar

listening for an answer.

of my awareness,

Often the opening is only short,

which the screen captures anew and my antennas listen into the inner space for detection signals and messages to see if the course is the trace of a soul comet passing by and just sends identification signals

like a distant radio signal, but sometimes

gravitating forces draw together, and a rich exchange on a common course

form centres of attention, new planets and moon in the sky of the heart, filling it with gratefulness.

of some small talk , or if resonances come from the depth of an opening trust

11 July 09


Sometimes I'm surprised

and cultivated the grounds

how difficult it is

until single blossoms show up

to become a present.

and much later the sprouts

I cannot buy myself

which want to develop

and give me to you as a dead gift.

into future trees,

Is what I want to give from me what you need? I have received so many gifts which have fallen as hidden seeds

so that some day they can pass on their fruits of life and give away nourishment and joy?

into my soil

My present for You

and slumbered there

is for you,

for a long time

a thanks for the gifts.

before a sprout begins to move and subtly takes roots and slowly grows up. How many seeds have you sown, seemingly useless,

12 July 09


Contours of Encounters Shades of Yous – 3 Chronological continuation

25 poems before and during a journey in

Cancer/Leo 09 13 July – 08 August 09


Where will the path

often just a cloud or a bend

It is good

lead me today?

veils the view,

to have an expert guide

Questioning I stand at the threshold

but nearness nevertheless survives.

whose guiding hand

of a new morning.

The community of the ones

the direction

striving for the same goal

and sees

gives protection and strength

that the group of wanderers

in dangerous times.

stays together and

For all of a sudden the way

always keeps an eye

may lead through rough terrain

on the goal.

Each day opens itself, related to the previous one and embedded in old tracks but always new wayfarers are waiting, and also the seemingly old travel companions

and chasms open up beside him,

of uncertainty, irritation or

enter daily into a new landscape

poisonous clouds of fear,

where the sceneries are constantly changing.

against fatigue

Often a friend seems to hurry on ahead or to fall behind or take to another path and skims away, mostly unnoticed,

or of a fight and weaknesses and dangers of the body.

gives strength and shows

13 July 09


I am sitting at the river

which for a long time

of day-to-day life

I didn't want to let into me.

with a sieve in my hand,

There has to be joy,

washing the sand passing by,

I said to myself.

on the lookout for

And nevertheless.

the rare nuggets of gold,

I learn to listen to it,

not for me

admit it into me

but for the image of You

and, through the sounds,

on the altar of my heart.

to arrive at the dark mines,

Gold from gold -

where the pure, radiant ore

Through the subtle forms

is in rich abundance,

your Light, Beauty and Love

richer than

radiate, for which I yearn

the individual grains

when they start resonating

in the river.

through you in me

The directions from where

and I also begin to see them

the sudden, rich wind

in other yous, in the experience of encounter.

blows away the dark clouds

Often it is just like a distant memory of some promising future fulfilment, and I wait, and wait, and wait

are unforeseen and the deep blue which always has been there radiates completely new.

with a silent sad melody, 14 July 09


The fiery lightning

The apparent low current

has to be slowed down

of rhythmic continuity

to a warm flame

keeps up the pace

which burns reliably

with which the stony path is mastered.

and also gives you strengthening solace

The sublime food

which the current of life needs of the bright flame has to be kept in a solid jar, even when cold winds blow and when a feeling of abandonment

so that it doesn't trickle off into the dust of day-to-day life.

menaces to choke the breath.

I love the ray

High tension is difficult to handle

on the top of the mountain

and needs particular vigilance

which you hold in your hand,

not to burn up you and me

for its shine is also

or to cause irritations

but also the small flickering light

from the one spring.

with the fall from the peak. 15 July 09


For many years

and they too fell away,

the sensation

like a fall of the Gods,

of not wanting to drown

and their old worshippers

in the oblivion

stayed behind,

and the pressure of the daily routine accompanied me.

whereas I, thirsting,

I saw drowning people,

I knew, the goal must be there

as well as friends

but I didn't find the key to me.

who wanted to reach the sky

Only when your warm smile

but, like Icarus,

looked at me and saw

came too near to the Sun

deep through all layers till the ground

and fell.

I found the ground

It seemed to be hopeless

which offered me a solid stand

to find the middle path,

and the security of comfort.

and I went through extremes

My thirst was quenched,

and again and again

and through you

Chintamani,

I found in me

the Treasure of the World,

the middle path through the gates

seemed to be lying before me,

which led me to me

but it was only a delusion.

into the awareness of being.

continued on the road.

The Fata Morgana which I worshipped turned to grimaces

16 July 09


I didn't have time to answer you,

like the summer flower,

you said.

full of beauty.

May it be so.

Blossoms of heartbeat.

Time is a precious treasure

No time? Wherefore

which directs attention

no time? And where

and the emphasis of the rhythms

is the leak

in one's awareness.

through which it

Time I don't have but

melts away into the sand

I am, a gift into the time

without watering

which I can take

thirsty roots?

for what is dear to my heart.

We live in a time of wasteland,

Time, rhythm and structure

where the heat of driving action

are a magical fabric,

desiccates and there is a famine

ingredients of a

for attention and

precious meal

time for each other.

which, prepared tasty,

The inner source lives,

I take as nourishment

and a deeper spring

and also give you

makes the refreshing water

with love as a dish.

well up

It fragrances, and its

like a fountain of joy.

aromatic fullness radiates,

17 September 09


Vibrating cooperation

which uplifts people

lives from the joint

to their be-ness

rhythmic heartbeat of

in being together,

team play,

and which shows others

opens the heart for each other

a silent ideal,

and the service

a vision of future brotherhood,

which, jointly done,

a stronghold in dangerous times,

multiplies through the

of friends

magic of radiant work.

whose strength is not weapons

It is an interplay of forces

but joy,

inspired by sublime sources,

not money

which hands its gift to the humans.

but unison

A wonder of accord,

in fulfilment.

in shared being,

in which the musicians learn to tune their instruments

and, playing in concert, to spread a magic

18 July 09


While talking with you

when will and wisdom married

about the keys of stars

lead to right action.

your intuition opened

Their marriage is healing

deep sights into vastnesses

and liberates my stars

of karmic functioning

to higher pathways,

and back, through the veil

and the tender light of their smile

of death and birth,

radiates to me from your eyes'

to imprints, where the themes

silent hints

wait in the Now

from out of the depth

to be picked up and

of the inner space.

worked out.

Now we can evoke the will with a clearer understanding and set the course for brighter paths.

The burdens of earlier ignorance, having created the biases and the not-wanting, begin to fall off from us,

19 July 09


When yesterday we drove with you

In some places heaviness weights

and who, with its force,

into the city,

over the streets, and suspicions

conduct the new buoyancies

you told us

of past violence,

into life.

that the sight of the houses and palaces

and you showed us

Old traces of magical practice

makes rise in you

alleys and subterranean hallways

decorate walls of old houses

images of sunk times

which had been prisons.

as dead symbols.

and how layers over layers

And the life above

The new signs are still waiting

of bygone experiencing

unconsciously feels the misery,

outside the gates.

wave towards you a fugacious whiff.

even if the contemporaries

Over the countryside, however,

The city is like a charged space

imagine to no more remember

and in the more subtle worlds

of then living life,

the old encumbrances.

which puts a veil of often dark events

It needs a powerful wind

the powers of a freer, lighter time

over the area

to dissipate the dark clouds,

gather the children of Uranus.

and where the old building

and it needs people

They turn the wheel

jut out like signs

who invoke it into themselves

to brighter times.

from out of the seemingly forgotten ocean.

Brussels, 20 July 09


The encounters of a day

The encounter by the look

are like a hike through

through the portal of the eyes

many worlds of biographies,

lets the messages of experiencing

which briefly touch in space and time, whose touches, however,

only receive their meaning in the sphere of mutual connections. Is the fleeting encounter just a passing-by Hello

or a reunion which strengthens profound ties still deeper, or even an alliance for a plan of joint action,

or a warm exchange between travellers, who move in the same stream through different currents on the way to the same goal?

flash over within seconds. Manifold messengers of moods resound through space, of questions and joy, of affliction. Their reverberation expands to the billboards of memories,

up to the horizons of the background, as a new note in the choir of life essences, distillate of the Quinta Essentia. 21 July 09


Cordiality

Its distant murmur

is a warm giving and taking of

makes me walk on, and,

mindful presence for each other.

like after a bent of the alley

The cordial attention can grow,

the river emerges again

when the ring-pass-not of the heart

as if without interruption.

expands and grows

I love its flow.

towards the horizon.

It is time of fullness now.

It is a movement towards convergence in non-judgemental devotion, which grows through the interaction of radiation and continues to run if I am connected with the source of the flow. At times the stream seems to dry up, and also the backflow runs dry.

But it continues to flow through subterranean dykes.

22 July 09


You are fascinated by doing magical things

The charm of the higher magic of the soul

in the awareness of the Divine.

and the charm of secret doing

is beneficial for the shadows

Premature horses

draws you into fields of experience

of age-old fears,

which are familiar to you

and the flute of Krishna

are difficult to rein back

from olden times, and where,

is more powerful than

as you said,

and easily let themselves

the power over

subtle threads of destiny

to be guided by the

the spirits of elements,

prepare the way.

fodder of

Amrita, holy nectar of Gods,

It seems as if it were provisioned

worldly experience.

is more enchanting than

to walk dangerous paths

Their reins need

shamanic drugs.

but you are free

a strong driver,

But

to consecrate your freedom

it needs the courage

May you hand them over

to higher goals

of humility

to Him.

and consciously renounce to trespass.

to put yourself

You are free not to follow a call of dark tracks you have toed earlier but which today you can leave again voluntarily.

on the altar of transformation and to be prepared

for the inner alchemy, not by doing but by being

23 July 09


At several friends' places

Even though sometimes

I encountered your traces

they were not appropriate

in the form of a book.

I henceforth trusted them more

Years ago our paths crossed -

than the blind voices

intense talks, warm exchanges.

even disguising themselves

But then the view of the goal

as coming from lofty sources.

separated us.

We did no longer trust each other,

I was convinced of my paths

and also the gurus divided us.

and you of your

Much time has elapsed, and

forms of worship

my paths have become broader.

and the inner voices guiding you.

Did yours also widen?

And the image of the one

I feel a connectedness

whom we had worshipped together

beyond the concepts and views,

fell from my altar.

a stream of love,

Even before my voices

which unites and merges.

had turned to be deceivers and I had closed their doors and put a guard in front with the weapons of discrimination.

24 July 09


You are standing at the threshold of transition and have nearly completed the circle of life. Even though they are slowly sinking memories surface from far back and the rich experiences have drawn cheerful serenity

In the fabric of fate you have interwoven the threads

to a home in you heart, a place of togetherness. The call from beyond is getting louder, and soon you will set out with joy

into your face.

to cross the bridge between the worlds,

From out of your eyes

weaving connections.

the radiance of the light shines forth

No farewell, but penetrating

which your life has kept following.

to greater circles.

A glow of stardust lies on your path. Heaviness you transformed with devotion into the steps of the path. Friendships did not cloud the view onto darkness and light, shadows as well as faithful ties.

25 July 09 A meeting with an old friend, three weeks before her passing


Although you walked

Although our paths

a longer distance on your path,

probably won't cross again

our stretches of road often run

in these body garments,

very close without touching,

we know of each other

we heard from each other

and of the power

and felt contacts

which travelling together bestows

without meeting, except a short encounter on the way years ago. The encounter with you was like a reunion with an old companion, an exchange of joy

and which strengthens the community of comrades treading together and which makes the light

above the distant horizon shine brighter.

and pictures of recollections, a warming fire

of consonance of fiery aspiration, which sounds in me a profound reverberation of friendship.

26 July 09, Hamburg


Groups, too, have life-cycles,

Help comes from above,

they can moult and,

the guiding light,

in a new form,

if we permit its entry

let the life-force ascend

to awaken to the power.

to its goal of mergence

Then it is not we who shed off the old skin

of heaven and earth. Winged serpents are rare but the music of the soul slowly makes sprout

the impulse to rise or puts seeds of future wings into the eggs.

but it falls off, when the stream of electric flow carries us upwards, together with those who equally hatch in the change of forms

Times of transition however

and rise to fly into the vast expanses of blue.

are difficult,

From there dewdrops fall

and when the old skin

into the grass

threatens to become too narrow,

as nourishing nectar

it is dangerous wanting to remain in it

for those searching for it.

out of fear of the nakedness after hatching out.

27 July 09


Your life breathes an irrepressible urge

for freedom of limiting forms, for opening the portals towards new spheres of spiritual life, where exotic flowers of experience

unfold their full fragrances no fenced-in garden but a colourful meadow. You follow a star with firmness,

Structure which threatens to crystallize in size

is suspect to you. For you want the vastness which is calling beyond the horizon from out of cosmic depths of unison of worlds of stars. May your star lighten the path for seekers

as a free wanderer,

as a soft shine from distant heights

together with others

and through your heart

but at the same time alone.

provide them a space

The teachings of life

and warm them.

with their challenging tensions

you tried to connect with thoughts and at the same time dissolved the bonds again and again so as not to get enmeshed in them,

not to get your fire extinguished by them.

28 July 09


In the silence of dawn,

The quiet dynamism of meditation

where the tender rays of the New unfold,

lifts up the pulse of my life

I feel in me the kaleidoscope of the images and moods of the passing-by not as passed-by but like one of the pastel coloured clouds above the trees which colour my sky

with tones of moods and where I sort out in me what is my own clear space and what gets filled

by the passing of fragrances and colours of foreign experience, a reflection, glittering in the dew pearl of the morning leaf.

through its rhythm like a soft breeze into the vastnesses of the inner firmament, filled with the stars of my constellations. And like the sun rising in the warm gold of this summer morning

shines through the leaves, the directions of the unfolding course of time silently herald in space.

29 July 09


The wanderers I met

The third ones also spoke

They no longer had any conflict

carried wounds

about pains and struggles

with life and with others.

hidden under their garments

but in them the fire

Their cheerfulness

of struggles and crises,

which the teacher ignited

sounded a gentle music;

of disappointments and

was burning with a bright flame

its melody also sings

and gave them the strength

in my heart.

rigours of the path. Some gainsaid them, others put balm on them, and still others took them as gifts. The first ones strove to appear as if nothing could affect them but they concealed in them

to walk on with joy in the heart. The fire had cleansed the wounds and out of live coals had formed diamonds,

fear of failure.

which radiated out of their eyes

The second ones complained

like sparkling stars.

of injustices and envy of others.

In some of them

They nurtured in themselves

the pains had not yet died away

bitterness and frustration,

but out of the ember

practiced rigour

they had gained

also towards others.

an essence of serenity which nourished them with gratitude, humility and acceptance of the fruits.

30 July 09


I feel again the pain

But when the healing rays

of old wounds

of the sun cast their shine

behind dense mental shells,

even into the dark fountain

guarded by guardians

and the cold stone

of the threshold.

receives the tender touch,

The fear of one's own dark side

the atoms in it start to vibrate faster,

seals the access and puts a taboo of touch around the proximity of silently festering injuries. They are like a curse whose whiff of scent connects the ones silently bound in antipathic repulsion,

karmic burden of unreleased experience of dark suffering.

and warmth is released in the depth. Silently love sprouts which melts the sharp tips

of judging thoughts and thus the wounds start to heal. From afar a healing melody rings over to me, the enchanted sound of His flute. 31 July 09


How can I be

When I let go of my own judging

completely open to those

the entering germs can unfold

whom I encounter

and let their seed sprout.

and yet not lose myself in them,

And often light falls down from above,

not let myself be deceived

and its ray unveils

by what is being shown, uttered

what remained hidden to the fugitive eye.

or brought to my attention

I am, and thus I step into relation

as opinions about others?

to what comes to me.

There are many voices

And it puts down its veils

and moods coming,

and shows itself naked.

glittering on the surface

And as the wind of oblivion

of changing forms.

blows away the dust,

Other melodies keep on resounding

the lasting contours of precious treasures

and evoke in me their echo. The reverberation

show up, bestowing me the life through encounters.

carries a trace from the origins,

for before the sound falls silent, it gives itself into the silent depth from out of which emerge structures of the qualities of the experience.

01 August 09


A strange touch

but its language

of an impression upon awakening

made your behaviour

made me perceive a part of

like in a bright light

hidden sorrow in you

and revealed

with a certitude

my judgement

that joyful-forgiving comprehension

as wrong.

closed a wound which was burning in me for a long time.

The impression was unexpected,

clear to me

Even though the confirmation might stay away nevertheless the messenger has brought peace and silent relief.

without the messenger of an outer word, transmitting the atrocity of a violation which might have happened to you a long time ago,

about which you didn't speak

02 August 09


At times I feel a secret joy

Silent words also

to put little bombs

open rusty locks,

with silent words and deeds,

and a soul frozen in a prison

bombs that don't hurt

comes forth

but quietly shatter walls

and wounds start healing.

which restrain the free flow of energy

It is a silent work,

or which

It happens more by non-doing

break the protective barriers

than by doing,

around injuries.

by letting go, allowing.

They are love bombs, and often

And then I silently return

I tremble with excitement

to myself.

brief, quick and secret.

when gently, seemingly casually the fuse of a word starts burning in the powder keg. It burns slowly,

sometimes over a long period. No loud explosion resounds but a movement in slow motion though with the power

of a detonation.

03 August 09


I encountered the signs of your action in the hearts of people. At all places of the journey they were striving along the trace of light which you have drawn and linked with the original source. From the point of Light the light streams forth

into their lives and the life radiates with the pulse of your heart, connecting, uniting, merging, penetrating. 08 August 09


You cross the veils

Through the open window,

between the worlds

the fragrance

and lifted some for me

of spring flowers entered

for a deeper understanding. and spread its gentle breeze Images appeared

into the blue expanse

of fateful encounters

of my heart.

which created connections and knots, and interweaved threads the fibres of which reach over into the tissue of today as attitudes and moods, constellations of encounters with other Yous

carrying wide roots. In freedom we severed strings of binding oaths and cut loose the fetters of dark conduct.

06 August 09


You showed us the worlds

Cooled-down dolour

which your eye beheld

cries for redemption

and which you captured

out of shivery vastnesses,

into form with great struggle,

for the warming touch of hearts,

into images and sculptures. Magic worlds of distant countries arose.

by which the congealed crystal

Inner spaces radiated

and lets the imprisoned spirit

with numberless facets

penetrate to the fiery core,

beauty and yearning,

which gives warmth and

faces full of wisdom and condolement,

secures you into the security

cracks

of the inner home.

elegiacal fields of spirit-beings and of old symbols. Sounds resounded

from out of deep fountains of unfulfilled urge, cried for redemption. Though the glow shone through the door, however, seemed like still closed in you.

06 August 09


Autumn Light under the Moon Node Shades of Yous – 4 Chronological continuation

20 plus 2 poems, an echo

15 August – 08 October 09


Like the tender rays slowly rise

The light of the new path

in the tender grey of the early dawn,

comes in from over there

from out of the inner of the background

and lures the steps

an urge sprouts towards outside, a faraway yearning

for a silently waiting future

of the awakened movement with the promise of a joyful rumour into a virgin world.

of a greater vastness. The seed of will emerges and breaks the retained tranquillity,

rises towards the searching unfoldment whereto?

15 August 09


From where comes the distant sound to my ear?

I listen to an inner melody which gently sweeps through my inner like a spring waft and like the ripples

on the surface of water give rise in me to soft waves of joy without an outer reason. I direct this joy to the outside and let it silently pour into my conversation or my lines. And often an echo comes back from the mountains of other hearts and their tone joins the concert of my inner and I dance with joy before You. 19 August 09


Thresholds are crossed silently,

And it was as if

often without knowing

through a crack in the wall

which new world waits

floods gushed forth,

behind the gates.

violently and impetuously

Frequently you only see the threshold

rushing into the plane,

when it is already crossed.

Over the raging but silent

In the silence of the morning

echo of the flood

suddenly an impulse surfaces

a radiant sun rose

from far back

and the waters brought

and for a moment a door reveals

thirst-quenching gifts

which I didn't see before

to the ones waiting in the distance,

and through which my word passed.

and the wall yielded and broke.

and also your heart

And it was like an enormity,

resounded beyond the pains

like a small stone

in a brighter joy,

taken out of your dam.

in the heart of the sun.

I deeply felt your pain about the step into the country of a freer expanse but interwoven with some sadness.

20 August 09


Was it betrayal

where you cannot retain the earth

when I spoke words

but can direct the flow

which seemed to you like a dagger thrust?

of fiery rocks of pain

Or was it the loving hand of a surgeon

of loving understanding.

who began opening a festering wound

Do you dare

so that the poison of trapped pain

to leave behind the fear of the eruption

starts to flow

and to give space in you

and the wound, purged,

for a wide opening,

heals?

so that also in the other You

Poisonous wounds have partners,

healing can happen?

dig their suction cups armed with barbs

Only courage to dare

into other Yous, where mute suffering cries for deliverance and nevertheless

with a seal of silence tries to suppress the cry. Subterranean explosions blaze trails to the surface like magma flows

and discharge with the power of a liberating eruption,

into the cooling ocean

can open the way to healing, when the signs are correctly read. The reward is liberation from old burden, and the warming light which dissolves torpor also in your heart. 24 August 09


Towers collapse

Dancing with firm steps

when the time-soil

the rhythm of the

slowly lets

of the unbridled change

its eroding movements work.

gives joy

Even the plates of the continents

when the hold

dance on the fragile ground

in the containing silence

of the rhythmic movements

is the anchorage

of the Great Mother.

and gives protection

It is the love for the new life,

in profound ground.

which makes the old crumble to give way for virgin striving. But change hurts if we try to hold to the stones fallingdown or look for stability on a wavering ship at times of storm. But where shall I cast my anchor? How can I extend you a supporting hand, when dark clouds seem to hide for you

the radiance of the Sun?

26 August 09


Unresolved thoughts,

so that it doesn't get smashed

held back and unrecognized

at a rock

in their haze of interweaving,

and emotionally charged spray

block the stream of life pressing ahead

doesn't block the vision.

like stones

it needs extreme vigilance

and form dangerous rapids

and a steady eye of the helmsman

which threaten to carry away

who sees the shoals and,

the swimmer of consciousness

navigating with a firm hand

and draw him under water. The passage

brings the boat closer to the next harbour,

between Scylla and Charybdis1

knowing the distant goal.

During such passages

is difficult and every word surfaces

29 August 09

like a vortex in the current through which

the boat of the relieving idea has to navigate 1 Scylla,

a sea monster of Greek mythology, lived on a rock near the Strait of Messina, opposite of its counterpart called Charybdis. Together they mark two inevitable, equally big evils. (Wikipedia)


A silent, joyful harmony

Is it violence

settles over the space

which makes the kernel

which enwraps the things with love

break forth

and lets them thrive,

or love?

strengthening them within themselves.

The time shows the harvest

Blessing swells like living water

of the fruit of ripening,

through the small crannies,

the full flavour of sustenance.

which makes the hard shell

Fullness out of fullness.

of the ego-cover break up

Thanksgiving.

and the food the quality

and the sprouts spring up

with young green. It is good to see the limiting hulls around the mature fruit pop up like the spiked shell breaks up

which surrounds the chestnut and releases the shiny kernel. It needs maturity until the hull can open

but even a small crack helps for the relieving opening.

02 September 09


The soft radiant glow of the full moon

Even though the moonlight

permeates the day.

radiates its magic shine,

The atmosphere is filled by the surge

it is only received by the open heart

it reflects for us from the sun

which listens to the cycle of rhythm.

and which my mirror

Silently I prepare myself

irradiates into my heart.

to give access to the cosmic envoy

The silent but powerful surge

and openly stretch out my soul's hands

rises the ship of my day,

to receive the gift of Luna

and even while I dive

which carries music and star fire,

through the vortexes of everyday life,

enlivening my inner fire.

the pulse beat of the great wave in secret presence remains my companion and a sparkling stone in the treasure of awareness. With a closed chest you don't sense the lively luminous crystal and don't see the messenger who wants to present you the fresh words of the month as a gift.

03 September 09


Who has called us? That we are here together

and to get involved with each other,

is a long, stony path

knowing about our abysses

of experience,

and weaknesses.

has guided us through dangers,

And to approach our attitudes

where wavering bridges

and even change ourselves and

lead over chasms

to decide together,

created by distorting mirrors,

even on one's own paths

thoughts nurtured by hidden presumptions.

to give access to the greater Will

And there is an urge

and pulse beat of our lives.

which makes us walk on,

Not, it is not a wrong sacrifice

a call of love,

of one's own

which nurtures the fire in us

but the power

and propels us,

which arises out of the centre

a longing,

and unites us

a determination, a readiness,

and merges us in a greater vastness,

a knowledge

the origin of the New.

as guiding principle and direction

that we want to go together and want to go, and a joint will driving us to dare to open ourselves

05 September 09


Convulsions

when even the fellow hikers

open sealed chambers

rejoice over the route

for crises of transformation.

and are prepared

How difficult it is

to take the load

to let break open

across several shoulders.

old crusts of attitudes

For in the community

towards what we take as holy

a greater power grows.

and cautiously

Even if everyone brings in a share,

provide together space

a higher order arranges the parts

for a new, more human attitude!

into the bigger picture,

May pain be inflicted upon others

which, unknown before,

for what I consider for the Higher

expresses the sublime beauty,

in the name of the divine Plan?

unveiling the great.

Where does humanity count more? Difficult decisions can better be taken together, the burden can become lighter and a new joy can grow in the community,

07 September 09


Where does the struggle

No, the Plan enters

for the common path lead us ?

into the open space

We unite ourselves,

between the hearts,

not

and the Greater Will

because an outer leader tells us,

is received in love

this is the direction,

and propels the wanderers

or because a fellow wanderer

on their way.

mounts himself up

And they share

to be the leader of the community

the bread of understanding

but because a fire glows in the inner

with each other

which unites us in striving towards the goal

and with everyone

and where the proposal of the one

and gratefully receives the food.

who sees farther

It is manna in the desert,

arouses in each heart

a delicious dish,

the sound of unison

and the drink

and a common understanding awakens,

comes out of the rock fountain,

a greater brightness of awareness,

fresh and clear

in freedom

and tastes of origin.

and not in submission

And, strengthened, the group proceeds,

under someone who says,

united on the way,

I know the Plan,

with the eye to the radiant sun

I have received it and let's execute it,

in the greater heart.

who feels hungry after it

come and help me. 08 September 09


Sometimes veils of exhaustion

and your nearness awakens again

cast themselves over the soul

my determination

and seem to choke the fire

and arouses in me strength.

and the smoke blurs the vision

And I feel

and goal is no more in sight.

how my call reaches

And my Yous seem to be far away,

the ear of your soul

no warming word,

and strengthens the bond

only a bleak wind blows

of the community

through tired streets

so that at these severe times

where people hide themselves

out of the awareness of connectedness

before each other

we draw the strength from the

and the activity runs on dead.

union of all those

But suddenly a silent cry

striving towards the Light

tears open the veil

and follow its direction.

and through the dense clouds a bright ray enters through the blue expanse into my heart and the look of the soul broadens far over the land, where I feel you friends, companions,

12 September 09


How can I follow

Only an inkling

all the rules of the path?

that somewhere

There are so many

light might come again

and I see

makes me walk on.

that they seem to crush me

Lord, please help

and in spite of my endeavour

not to lose the way to you

I don't meet them.

in these rough times!

They are like jealous guards, who search through every part of my body and whose exam

I'm not able to withstand. Long years of striving generate despondency but I keep walking on, like staggering and always standing up again, swaying on. I often don't see any light at the end of the tunnel,

it is eclipse.

15 September 09


New moon approaches silently -

And from out of the pause,

or is it an occultation?

the inner,

It falls off, it disappears,

into which the outside turns itself

it dissolves - something

a new sprout germinates

which I cannot exactly grasp,

from out of the original centre.

just like structures

Just like the new awakening

which seemed to support

seems to be like the yesterday

for a long time

and nevertheless is not,

suddenly decay,

for the new moon of the sleep

where forces of constellations

made fade and emerge,

lose their power

my life also receives again

where even a core dissipates

a fresh impulse

coreless into space,

which leads on

where I also don't find my centredness,

into known-unknown spring fields of experience

my identity,

as a gift

where the ground yields

of the certainty of existence.

and bogs down whereto? Yes, even mountain ranges,

continents, solid and big, have their new moon, and at times the great breath also breathes in our earth and pauses.

17 September 09, the day before New Moon


Pausing in the silence

which make me feel unsecure

which resounds after the sound -

or even seem to bring a secret poison.

from where comes the breeze of the New? At times between two flowers I haven't seen it arise

alertness is important

but suddenly it is there,

and openness for the steps

softly caressing my face

slowly approaching,

and sweet with

for hands full of seeds,

still unknown flowers of the day.

for questions,

I don't see their roots

for new faces.

but when they hold out to me

The course through the day

their light green leaves of experiences,

is always full of change

they are full of drive of unfoldment.

above the ground of the

From where comes their urge

pulse of life flowing by,

and whereto surges the fresh growth?

which makes my steps dance ahead,

I guess the direction,

more and more.

since the seed rests in my heart, but every flower of hour is full of surprise, and often their beauty irritates me. I see on the petals dangers and shapes against which I resist,

New Moon, 18 September 09


Blessing comes unexpectedly, a joyful opening

Away are the walls of narrow horizons,

lifts burden from my shoulders,

of confinement

and suddenly my heart feels lighter.

in separation and otherness.

Warmth expands

And like from out of

with a sense of divine presence

a fresh mountain spring

giving the security

I drink the joy

of loving nearness and connection.

and pass it on,

All of a sudden dark thoughts

with the blessing look of the sea

full of dust of everyday life

over the net of cordial relatedness

are blown away

and the feet no longer heavy from the mud of the field of work. Above me, space opens like a cone of vastness and grows and unfolds over the country and further on. The distant brothers are suddenly very close and I feel their hand near to mine and their clear look which opens soul-gates.

and further, like waves expanding over the sea and further into the vastness. 19 September 09


It is getting silent in the inner.

I let myself draw

Leaves fall off

by the pull of the ebb tide,

and the life withdraws itself

for it draws me into the sea,

like the sap into the trunk

the Mother,

when it gets colder.

from where in future high tide

The bright colours of the foliage

washes ashore new waves

announce their near fall,

from beyond the silence.

and also intensely bright days of life already contain their near autumn time, profundity, waiting.

Where has gone the pulsating urge of life? All wanting towards outside seems to come to a standstill, appointments end, people withdraw, and I also feel the call from inside, louder than at times of the swift outer dance.

21 September 09


The protective membrane

And openness brings the joy

of individuality

of expansion,

saves from too early core-touch,

where the shell

before your centre is consolidated.

becomes a radiant sheath

Core-touch happens

of diamond light

in loving encounter of the inner sparks,

which gives protection and refuge

Scintillas1,

A coat of stardust

which can unite to one flame,

of the Great Mother

light from the One Light.

which holds and enwraps us all.

also to others.

Fear makes the flame flicker the shell protects.

26 September 09

The Own is holy but often like locked in behind walls of bitter experiences of age-old lesions, of tentacles of unresolved biographies. The dormant urge to grow slowly strengthens the core. And ripening brings fearlessness and courage towards openness.

1 Scintilla:

Latin: Sparks


Extremely dark times,

And I feel

where dejection and distress

how it emanates

call from several sides,

and spreads healing,

where my hydra raises its head

soothing wounds,

and menaces to bar my way.

erecting,

Threatening gestures

inspiring,

of unredeemed breakaway

bringing a new day

from the current of life.

also for you.

A rearing up, a dark mirroring of shady reflections and then in the silence like a door opens and light enters, and it is like an awakening from out of a confused dream, where the wild chimeras of thoughts suddenly yield to the ray of morning light, as if they had never been. And the power of the Leading Hand, which seemed to have disappeared forever has again awakened in my heart, gives courage and confidence.

03 October 09


I hear -

of years of striving,

wild voices,

of struggling for right understanding.

enticing, seductive.

And yet it is there,

Like a mantra shred songs

the warming light

keep on resounding

which flows into my heart

through multi-channel amplified

from beyond the silence,

attention catchers,

bright sounds of vast reaches and announcing promises of their short- freedom. term religion. And also the Ones who help us since long And then the massive planks

to find the way out of the labyrinth,

of the scaffoldings of values,

succour us

souls are hanging in them

with silent-dynamic words of power,

at walls like nets,

giving courage,

sticking at the bitter-sweet glue

support,

of empty promises of paradise

putting balm for my wounds.

paired with

It is good to know of them

fear traps of apprehensions.

and to weather through the storm

Is there no way out?

together with you friends,

Laments of hungry people

helping the seeker,

in front of the full pots

silently passing on the joy.

of the carousel of consumption. The nourishing food is deeper, hidden behind the shells of inner work,

07 October 09


The doors are closed again. It is rest time now.

Time to silently grow and letting flourish the growth in the depth. It is good

if at times the weapons lie dormant, if the wounds heal, if there is a distance to the places of battle even if it has not yet finished for it is an eternal struggle. But now it is rest time, the doors of the words are closed for the moment. 08 October 09


P.S.1: You have passed over the threshold,

in silence but full of power, gentle and yet clear, like you have followed your way since long. The New is not foreign to you, for it is the homeland of your soul,

the home which you carry inside like a radiant germ, and when you now drop your garments which enveloped the spark the light shines through you still brighter, fecundating the seeds which you have gathered with your hands to offer the fruits to the new life as sustenance for future wanderers. 15 August 09 For Tamara Pieper (29 March 1921 - 14 August 2009)


P.S.2: Even though you know about the continuance of the souls, you are filled with the pain of farewell. During transition letting go is difficult for us who stay back and the yearning for reunion pierces through the heart. But in its centre

is the door to the light, and the pulse of life carries the experience on. And if you deeply admit the mourning into yourself, up to the bottom, you feel how the foundations carry and how you, carried by life, can enter with firm steps into a new world of joy. 18 August 09


Ludger Philips: Shades of Yous 90 + 2 poems in 4 sections English translation by the author © 2014, Ludger Philips CH 3073 Gümligen BE

Free electronic distribution info@ludgerphilips.org

Ludger Philips - Shades of Yous  

90 + 2 poems and photos in 4 sections: Dense Thoughts / Traces of Fire – Encounters / Contours of Encounters / Autumn Light under the Moon N...

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