Shades of Yous
90 + 2 poems in 4 sections
Ludger Philips
Shades of Yous o Dense Thoughts o Traces of Fire – Encounters o Contours of Encounters o Autumn Light under the Moon Node
90 + 2 poems in 4 sections June – October 2009
Ludger Philips
Shades of Yous The German volume of poems “Schattierungen von Dus" (Shades of Yous) was published at spring equinox 2013. Now, one year later, they are published in English as well. The translation was done by the author and proof-read by Vijay Ganugula, New Jersey, USA. I'm very grateful for his suggestions and feedbacks. The 90 + 2 poems were written between June-October 2009 and were distributed in 4 sections. 3.5 years later, they were published as a digital work in German together with photos taken by friends and myself, illustrating the tonality and the motives of the poems. As per demand, this book is also produced as a photo book in individual printing. The poems speak of the reverberation of encounters, of wounds and their healing, of dangers of the way and surprises of everyday life. To my surprise I noticed that the “Schattierungen von Dus" was published exactly 33 years after my first volume of poems, the “Song of Silence” (1980), and that it touched some of the motives that were already present at that time. Easter 2014
Christa, Cristina, Dinu, Eva & Hans, Gustavo, Fernando, Joan Ma, Martine, Miquel & Rosa, Nikolai Thank you very much for your photos !
Most of the pictures come from my own collection. They serve as illustrations of the tonality of the poems and the motives. They often lasted only for a short moment, where suddenly Kairos, the space of a successful encounter, opened up. These poems also come from this place. May they give the readers access to this space. Ludger Philips March 2013
Dichte Gedanken
Trauen Miss-Trauen Mich trauen
Dense Thoughts
Ver-Trauen An-Ver-Trauen Treue
Shades of Yous – 1
Reue tragen ver-tragen Trost Ost Sonne
27 poems mostly from morning hours of 18 days in June 7 – 24 June 09 St. John 2009
nähren Nähe
Trust
Letting
Mis-trust
and
Self-trust
Allowing
Confide
Letting happen
Entrust
Involving
Troth
Surrendering
Remorse
Committing
Endure
Distrust ceases -
Reconcile
Trusting
Solace
Daring
East
Trust in oneself
Sun
Dreaming
Nurture
Trusty
Nearness 7 June 09
Please ! No Answer ! A tender flower ! Fragile !!! Delete - Delete - Delete1
Lethe2 Mnemosyne3 1 Delete:
7 June 09
engl.: erase
2 According
to Greek mythology ,Lethe is one of the rivers of the underworld. The name comes from the ancient Greek language and literally means forgetfulness or oblivion. (Wikipedia)
3 According
to the mysteries, besides Lethe there is the river Mnemosyne, and after the transition we can drink from both. Those who drink from Mnemosyne remember all and are privileged with the gift of omniscience.
Waiting
Waiting
in silence
for the pain
Open
to ease
for the opening
which accompanies
of the door
until
Waiting
merging
for the echo
in be-ness
of the You through which IT smiles at me
9 June 09
Dressing
The mist of bad mood
thought-impulses
evaporates
into word-vestments
The vastness
Giving away
of the serene space
the treasures of the soul
remains
Splashes of joy laughs away the darkness lights up dolorous paths The reverberation in other hearts strengthens
the power of reconstruction Inspiration breathes through from the high sources
9 June 09
The fresh dew of the New lies at the threshold. Bare feet stride over virgin ground, never been touched by another one. The eye of the soul conquers original new ground
with the very delicate view, gives healing to the crusted wounds of the past. Aurora1 dawn rising 9 June 09
1 The
Roman Goddess of Dawn. Title of a book of the medieval mystic Jakob Bรถhme.
After long years of silence the doors of thoughts open anew; unthought surges out. The signs indicate a storm brewing. But dialogue is still too early in mined terrains, where a wrong step is enough to close them anew in the You.
But at the horizon future times are waving, open, common paths. Hope waits in stillness and stills the waiting. 10 June 09
They are sitting at the fountain, the Norns, 1 and weave anew their ancient cloth of old and new. I put on the cloth with wonderous figures and surprising forms of life, but I’m not it, neither does it bind anymore.
1 In
Urd, Werdandi and Skuld, just continue weaving a good thread for a lighter garment for the ceremony of the wedding of Uranos’ children. I’m looking forward to the reunion. 10 June 09
the Edda, female beings of Norse mythology rule the destiny of gods and men. They are called Urd (what has come to existence), Werdandi (the becoming) and Skuld (what has to become), that is, past, present, and future. According to the Völuspá, they live at the roots of the World Tree, the great Ash Tree at the well of fate.
Neptunian muse drops bright-sounding tones into the soul from the depth of space. Her secret-apparent meeting with Jupiter in me brings out of the fullness an overabundance down into the language. Aquarian flow. The pot was never closed, only the mouth of the mind. Unfathomable joy about the new dance of the words.
Double-bind messages1 are misunderstood if not the ear hears the underlying need speaking between the lines. “No Answer ! “calls for an answer, but at the same time fear of the “No !” is to be heard, of a refused hand, of the pain of mutual hurt. As long as the ground is fragile, no light-hearted step can walk over the bridge, subtle words can provoke fear of one’s own shadow.
1 Double-bind
Time heals wounds, when the breath of the healing wing-beat of the butterfly softly caresses them. A new innocence of the gently opening soul is a risk, a slow growing. But the force of inner comfort gives security, and the ambivalent fear evaporates in the light of the sun.
10 June 09
messages: In pychology messages with a paradox content (yes and no) causing confusion.
Cover after cover
and passes through
Alas if the opening
the spark point
all protective veils
only comes from one side
of existence
without restraint,
if it is not
wraps up
touches the core
a mutual approaching
and faces
with the core.
and giving of closeness.
as my being
Through the magic of magnetism
Gaping wounds shake.
all yous.
the cores are attracted,
The opening
They remain,
energy is released in the
doesn't close completely.
and also me,
intimate closeness
But through the door
an interplay
leading to fusion.
which the pain has opened,
of encounters
In the presence
profoundity enters,
separated by
of the holy you
through which a high ray
the inner sheaths.
the holiest me
can be received and
Only rarely
is open,
passed on,
comes a you
unprotected.
giving away holy healing. 12 June 09
Oyster Pearls. The nearness of thoughts is still too early. Congealed fire otherwise burns. Chitta Chora1 . 12 June 09
1 Chitta
Chora: Thief of the heart, thief of the mind (name for Krishna)
No sound resounds
but the healing of wounds
from the depths of sorrow.
needs time.
The doors remain closed.
Lost closeness
A cold hand
and trust
holds back the word
cannot be
from the flight into the expanse.
re-evoked.
Old layers of
The crows
age-old stories
in the deep blue
vibrate like a
of the morning sky
distant tremor of the earth.
announce no harm,
The ground seems to be brittle
but extol the beauty
and I ask myself
of the morning.
why this pain
And the sun,
keeps on rising
mighty and clear,
like a poisonous gas
brings a new wave
from out of a crevice.
of warmth and of life,
The mind knows, these are
also into my heart.
passing shadows, 13 June 09
Which way
Wakefully
the wind of change blows?
I observe
Does it come from outside
both sides,
into me and
listen
drive away old leaves?
to the distant swoosh,
Or is it
waiting
through the opening
at the threshold.
of an inner door, which suddenly opens and surprises me by the unexpected direction of its stream?
14 June 09
Word-skiffs bring rich goods from faraway countries across the sea. Smells and
multicoloured sounds tell of unknown territories of the eighth continent. They land on the bank of my heart and joyfully I receive their freight. 14 June 09
The intensity
to whom I give
of the experience
a meal of experience.
feigns permanence.
Then they pass on,
Deep sorrow,
often without goodbye,
pain
and another guest
as well as joy
knocks at the door
are very present
and seeks entry,
in the presence,
which I grant him.
suffuse me completely
A coming and going,
by the directness
which I am not.
of their impact.
I AM
Even if they colour
in the vastness of the space
the note of feeling
inside,
for days or months,
and protrude beyond
while their melody
into the You,
strongly resonates in me,
where we meet
they are nevertheless
beyond the ground.
just wanderers, who temporarily take refuge in my harborage,
15 June 09
In the dialogue with you
Ground comes up again
I still feel like on thin ice.
by sensing you
My sensorium
through the echo of your words,
doesn't know,
between the lines,
where I touch a wound,
the sound,
where a red light blinks
the colour of thoughts.
and warns not to move on.
A tentative approach
My normal security
through darkness.
is not
Over there,
and I feel every step
at the end of the hallway,
as a hazard
confidence waves.
in unknown grounds. The familiar, natural comfort is not again there.
15 June 09
Where out of the depth of the silent space
a single, silvery word falls down through the opened gap
there is the place that gives the power to my thoughts to ascend with angel wings.
and brings a fresh message, which drives my activity to new, unexpected ways, where the presence of intimate touch lets its loving hand glide over my
and where the guiding thread is firmly anchored in my heart
16 June 09
Delicate pink ribbed clouds
Pictures and people
announce the rise
pass by
of the sun,
on their
whose rays
own tracks.
gleam up
My thoughts
in vibrant gold
wave to them
between hills and roofs
and sink
into the new day.
into the stream
The streets are still silent
of events.
like waiting fraught with tension.
I travel
The traffic signals
and I remain
change their light
still
and the screeching
in me.
of the rails makes the tram
17 June 09
enter into me, absorbs me into it and away into the day.
Beginning of a journey to Germany, summer solstice seminar
In these times
And nevertheless
of irritating change
the soul knows the plan,
the way through life
is aware of the direction,
often isn't easy
softly draws to you
and the place
the fabric
where you can
for the guiding thread.
unfold your work
It gives security
is covered by
and assurance,
mirroring perspectives.
is part of the cloth
Expectations
of be-ness,
lead to wrong paths
which coats
and the fears of others
and holds us
blur the view
and creates a home.
of the path
Trust
like swirling sand,
carries
covering the signs.
the next step ahead. 17 June 09 on the way to Germany
The train stops,
Many run in similar directions,
returns
but with which goal?
to the last station.
In precarious times
An emergency. Suicide?
insecurity and diffuseness
Together with many others
are continuous companions.
I walk from train to train,
But like in a wakeful,
pass on,
lucid dream,
and a second change
I walk on,
into another train.
firm and carried,
The next train breaks down
protected
on the running line.
in the inner,
Gearbox failure. Waiting.
the inner hand,
The scheduled security
of my teacher,
dissolves
Guru,
into new, changing structures,
driving away fears.
like concepts of life change at interchange points.
17 June 09 on the way to Germany
Mechanical flow of thoughts
I like the quick flow
often runs away
of the intense stream
with me
of time.
to their own destinations.
Vital energy.
Late I say, Stop!
Pulsating heart-beat
Where do you go?
of the Mother.
And where am I?
The joy carries
Millstone ways
me
move in circles
to you.
and grind at an idle speed. If inner wakefulness is active, I feel the flow of events and glide through them like a swimmer
enjoying swimming.
18 June 09
I encounter
probably without
the lucid shadow of you
your being conscious
in various talks,
of their vibrations.
contacts of my contacts,
Spellbound I listen to
help for friends,
the magic image
subtle touch of hearts
of the spotlight
through the gaze.
of fleeting sensations
The inner echo
with joy in the heart.
also resounds in the outer. The trace of the word of your being makes its ways and sends to me greetings from unknown shores The group is like a hall, where your steps wash their waves to me
from many walls of souls,
19 June 09
The music
Fullness of silence,
of the gaze
pulsating heartbeat
of your eyes
of respiration
makes my soul
perfuses me
dance with joy.
in wakeful awareness.
The colours
Even gratitude
of your words
fades away,
lift me up
while
into the canopy of stars
the line
of my head,
between you and me
where in vast spaces
disappears.
they merge with the dark blue
21 June 09
of the depth, beyond the adamantine refulgence.
for Sri Kumar, Summer Solstice
Into the delicate pink sky
with the flow of giving
and makes Venus
of the dawn of summer,
dance in us,
which starts to decline
from the closeness of the heart,
and to withdraw its brightness,
which receives a stitch
the bloom
Venus sends a soul laugh
by rejection,
of the shades of yous
to the people still sleeping
which pains me to hear.
blithely merging
in moonless night,
Why
into my depth.
that they might open up
do we shun each other?
to the distress of the yous
lock ourselves up,
and no longer,
securing the insecurity?
talking love,
Only when the moon
might marginalize
lets again
a seemingly strange brother ,
shine through
for they joyfully
the great love
inter-penetrate
I feel the
22 June 09 New moon at summer solstice time, with Venus in the clouds the early morning sky
From out of the fire of the solstice ritual all of a sudden a jet-flame rises1 at the soft flow of the Cancer moon milk and shocks the beholders. Does the messenger of the approaching event step violently with a firm, beautiful pace into the new arc of time? 22 June 09
1 During
the fire ritual at summer solstice in Bad Essen on 21 June Sri Kumar poured at the end some milk into the pot, which mixed with ghee and caused an enormous jet-flame.
In the corridor of time
and makes me fritter away
invisible hands open
lavishly
silent doors
the flowers of time
into my rooms of experience,
to yous
which an unobservant eye
who receive them with joy
easily overlooks.
in giving and taking
But the soft breath of wind,
of heart and of help,
which touches me
dispelling
from over there
the dangers and pains
with the smell of promise
of the dense clouds of the path,
of growth and
bringing relief
of clear vastness,
to the waiting wayfarers.
lures my steps through the moment of opening. The silent guidance fills me with wonder, calling seemingly self-evidently
but magically-tenderly over the thresholds
23 June 09
Where is the key
until the rhythm
to right, joint action?
of the pulsation of our being
Not my idea,
is only one,
but his one,
breathing holiness
which becomes ours
in healing activity.
through joint understanding, and where the steps don't lead to me but to the yous, to whom they bring their light. The measure is simplicity and gentleness in silently walking side by side, heart by heart,
24 June 09
Traces of Fire – Encounters Shades of Yous – 2 Chronological continuation 18 poems as a summer harvest from morning hours in Cancer 09 26 June – 12 July 09
In the cocoon of concepts
and your asking
and of spinning thoughts
makes the glass wall in me
which rush by,
burst
I don't hear your call,
so that I can pass through
don't see
to you.
that you
An encased pain
need my attention,
urges to penetrate
don't perceive
the coat of the larva,
your warning sign
so that the butterfly
of exhaustion.
can open the wings
Only late
to feel the pulse of your life
do I feel
in me
your need
with empathic presence, finding myself in it. 26 June 09
Words
Hardly the thoughts
fly through the soul window,
have flown away
amplified electronically
from the origin,
to you.
they are,
Without echo.
when I look after them
Are they spamming?
tied back and
Digital bottle post
bound to me
thrown into the net ocean?
through my bond
Or do I,
of waiting for an answer,
like Narcissus,
which menaces to bind me.
self-centred,
Forgetting is not detachment.
only look into the mirror image of my own fountain, echoing from the I and I, and I, without a door,
trapped in expectations?
I take the bond, put it on the altar and ask that it might burn and I might be free in be-ness. 27 June 09
Again and again
and I,
my wing
terrified,
butted against
broke out too strongly
the inner of the eggshell.
with shattering emotions
I couldn't come out
of unknown vehemence,
to the you.
which threatened to frighten?
Caught,
The impact of birth is over
and like drowsing,
but still unsure
though awake,
I begin
distant from the vastnesses
to unfold my wings
of the blue exterior space
with new movements
of the deep encounter.
of the soul
Was it from outside
which would like to soar up
or an urge from inside
to you, and to you, and you,
that sent a fiery urge
exuding into YOU.
up from abysses against the walls
which burst,
28 June 09
There are profound paths
even if we don't see
mostly hidden to the eye
his hand.
which bring people together
The seed has to be sown
to join action.
before it brings in us
A distant reverberation
the flower and fruit.
might be perceived
Who was the early morning sower ?
like a call which we would like to follow to continue weaving
Gratefully we reap the fruits of his labour.
the fabric of fate, to take out twisted strands and to wattle into it new, purer patterns for the beauty of the garment The united striving unites us and guides us to the One who guides us,
29 June 09
No words are forming
that vision and insight
for you,
might bring relief
only silence
and that waiting for release
and a distant yearning.
might open for them a door
Is it unrest?
through one's own walls
Or is a train vibrating by
of pretending perceptions.
in the vastness
So many walls
with unknown travellers of destiny,
built with the stone and mortar
whose net fabric
of misconceptions.
echoes over to me?
Pain pushes to open
Images are emerging
for love
on the screen of the inner,
which my aura lets in,
0f distress
if a silent understanding
and of ignorant suffering
of a Yes
which, collecting them,
permits it
I put on the altar of my heart
with gratitude
with the request
It is That. 30 June 09
The door closes
not waiting but ready
not for ever
for the arrival of new ships,
but there are times of transitions,
which bring other freights
where it is better
from future harbours.
to exercise caution
The waves breathe again
and where also in you
their pulsating rhythm,
transformations, like road works,
and I look over
don't allow talking on open terms
to the rising sun
and the dialogue
of a radiant morning.
seems to die away. It is difficult to weave to the other side a thread that finds another shore, or where the boat is too far away. But I stand
at the pier of thoughts,
1 July 09
I encounter only a few
It is volatile and delicate,
who conduct the art of subtle dialogue
Kairos 1, a successful moment,
in written language and where the play,
where the gate remain wide open and thus the continuance
like a ping-pong,
might let a touch of the ray of eternity to enter
of the exchange of thoughts
and give joyous fulfilment,
doesn't quickly fall flat
a foreboding of future bliss.
and the opening
Moods quickly change
to the deep currents
in the maelstrom of everyday life,
of empathic listening,
but repeated opening
sharing and giving
of the doors of the conversation of the heart
of even bold words is being held by containing hands of the heart. 1 Kairos
is a Greek expression for the favourable moment of a decision, which might turn disadvantageous, if it is allowed to elapse. The name comes from Greek mythology, where Kairos is the God of the favourable opportunity and of the right moment. According to the poet Ion of Chios (490–421 BC) Kairos is the youngest son of Zeus. according to Wikipedia
provides views into the land of joy, which lies still in the background and connects and sustains. 2 July 09
River rafting
Interplay,
through the rapids
which also carries you
of thoughts in
through me
ensouled talk,
into the point which unites
where one word
and makes disappear the distance
gives the next one as a present of attention. Like a fresh spray the sparks of ideas fly and unfold, like comets, their luminous paths through the current.
in the silence of speaking, from out of which the joy springs up. A solemn ritual
of the exuding moment of eternity.
Fascination of flowing captures me and carries me away to you, where I meet me mirrored and yet
very close in me.
3 July 09
At times counter-currents flow and obstruct with their irritating, iridescent,
and powers the sails of the boat
and the steersman recognizes again the direction,
diffusing, dissonant
looking at the stars shining in the distance
sounds of feelings and of colours
which show the way
the access to the guiding sound
with signs readable for the knower.
for the listening ear, and wisps of the fog of exhaustion make the inner impulse of progression wane to an ebb tide,
like a retraction,
I wait and listen and look, how a new breeze forms over the surface of the rippling water to catch its breath with the power of their sails.
an inhalation which absorbingly draws inwards.
The challenge is to wait until the wind comes up again
4 July 09
Wandering through the vastnesses of the cosmic ray, space secured from the primary source you shed your rays, and passed on in the game Helios 1, of receiving and giving, to us who we, like plants which only till into my heart. sense your presence forebodingly It cannot end there, but who would wither away for fullness strives to expand, without the lifeblood of your ether. to flow, But you are also just an opening to give itself away. to the higher spring And thus I offer you 2 you call Savitru from the juice of nourishing life and which nourishes you, a chalice, filled with light, in league with your so that the drop eleven siblings, might flow on with whom you dance the roundelay through you to the ocean around a higher centre, of its destiny, the central sun, merging us which again gives and receives into itself. from its source, Bhargo Deva3 ,
1 Helios
5 July 09
is the Greek name for the sun. is the Sanskrit name for the soul of the sun radiating through the physical sun. 3 Bhargo Deva is the Sanskrit name for the spirit aspect of the sun, the Cosmic Sun. 2 Savitru
Some feelings I hide
Walking into the depths,
deep below layers of
to the mines of suppressed pain,
other sensations and thoughts,
is difficult,
for they carry in themselves
but only if the black rocks
painful memories,
are raised out of the pits and
unfulfilled yearning
brought to the smelting,
like relations to
golden ore can flow out of them
illegitimate children of mind.
and become the sacrificial bowls
But the bonds to them remain
on the altars
and at times urge up to the light
and the chalices
of consciousness,
receiving divine nectar
waiting for redemption
from the Gods,
from afar.
like the whisking of the Milky Ocean1
They tune moods
in ancient times,
of underground,
through the forces of Light and of Darkness,
diffuse, but clearly breaking the sound
threw forth
which wants to sound brightly and
the Drink of Immortality
spread radiantly.
as a gift of the depth. 7 July 09
1 The
Puranas describe how the Devas (gods) join forces with their antagonists, the Asuras (demons), to beat the Milky Ocean, out of which finally the drink of immortality emerges, Amrita.
In tight grains
to prepare out of the grain
the fruit of the summer harvest
of the individual I's,
is ripening for the future
united with the yous,
bread of understanding.
a fragrant, nourishing bread
They want to be milled,
as food for many
soaked, kneaded,
who hunger for
added with fermentation of time
the fulfilling joy
and the intense pressure
of being.
of almost unbearable heat of the crisis of transformation. The Great Baker knows to conduct us through the flaming steps of birth,
8 July 09
Could I not read
calling for receptacles
the weather report
to receive it and contain.
of your country,
The electric tension
when hot, quick summer winds
draws a mighty reverberation
of my day met the warm air
into space
over your deep lakes
and the refreshing waters
which were full of silent life?
wash away the dust
All of a sudden
deep black clouds pile up in the blue of the sky like threatening walls out of which a heavy flash
hit your heart and rain poured down
which covered the understanding
and open the dams between us, so that our stream flows again together to the distant ocean, whose call our souls follow.
from out of old wounds 9 July 09
As you entrust me
And this balm
your upsetting experiences
rises from your inner
of cruelty,
and forms a shield
my heart opens wide
parrying the impact
and becomes a caring container of love
of the blows
cautiously receiving into itself the shock of violence and puts it down at the healing, light-filled source, where a secret alchemy of being invokes the forces of wound healing and coats the cruel traces on your shell with balm.
and through its force of protection gives you again secureness and the feeling of being carried
by the divine hand. 10 July 09
I am fed up with silence!
Strange paradox:
Like an unshackling bird,
The vastness approaches out of the point
like Saraswathi's1 Swans, words swing upwards with inspiring joy and surge into the expanse. Why should I bind you with chains,
at the centre and the distance of the horizon strings narrowness of the loss
of myself. But when the spark points
whereas you, white doves,
germinate and become
draw radiant traces of words
the blazing fire of love,
into a sky of gloomy times,
the outer and the inner blend
bringers of peace,
to the blaze of intense existence
messengers of deep
and nothing remains
which call back
but ‌
into the penetrating inner space
1 Saraswathi
10 July 09
is the goddess of the Divine Word; the pulsations of the Word come out of her like swans, see Dr. K. P. Kumar, Saraswathi. The Word.
I am an intensity junkie
seems to lead to a
in search of the kick
dusky state of sleep
of the deep encounter.
of oblivion,
At times it is difficult
where many seem to be satisfied
to get the drug,
with a pale substitute.
for it is kept locked
Do they know the intensity of the original?
like some secret good and only traded concealed as if it weren't abundantly available in us. We lose ourselves outside and the thirst for the juice of
In the profound encounter words charged with experience pass over between us
like magic light which throws a charm into space and keeps us in the spell of presence,
giving the love of attention, receiving fulfilment.
the fiery impulse of life 10 July 09
At times luminous signs of yous
with searching questions
appear on the radar
listening for an answer.
of my awareness,
Often the opening is only short,
which the screen captures anew and my antennas listen into the inner space for detection signals and messages to see if the course is the trace of a soul comet passing by and just sends identification signals
like a distant radio signal, but sometimes
gravitating forces draw together, and a rich exchange on a common course
form centres of attention, new planets and moon in the sky of the heart, filling it with gratefulness.
of some small talk , or if resonances come from the depth of an opening trust
11 July 09
Sometimes I'm surprised
and cultivated the grounds
how difficult it is
until single blossoms show up
to become a present.
and much later the sprouts
I cannot buy myself
which want to develop
and give me to you as a dead gift.
into future trees,
Is what I want to give from me what you need? I have received so many gifts which have fallen as hidden seeds
so that some day they can pass on their fruits of life and give away nourishment and joy?
into my soil
My present for You
and slumbered there
is for you,
for a long time
a thanks for the gifts.
before a sprout begins to move and subtly takes roots and slowly grows up. How many seeds have you sown, seemingly useless,
12 July 09
Contours of Encounters Shades of Yous – 3 Chronological continuation
25 poems before and during a journey in
Cancer/Leo 09 13 July – 08 August 09
Where will the path
often just a cloud or a bend
It is good
lead me today?
veils the view,
to have an expert guide
Questioning I stand at the threshold
but nearness nevertheless survives.
whose guiding hand
of a new morning.
The community of the ones
the direction
striving for the same goal
and sees
gives protection and strength
that the group of wanderers
in dangerous times.
stays together and
For all of a sudden the way
always keeps an eye
may lead through rough terrain
on the goal.
Each day opens itself, related to the previous one and embedded in old tracks but always new wayfarers are waiting, and also the seemingly old travel companions
and chasms open up beside him,
of uncertainty, irritation or
enter daily into a new landscape
poisonous clouds of fear,
where the sceneries are constantly changing.
against fatigue
Often a friend seems to hurry on ahead or to fall behind or take to another path and skims away, mostly unnoticed,
or of a fight and weaknesses and dangers of the body.
gives strength and shows
13 July 09
I am sitting at the river
which for a long time
of day-to-day life
I didn't want to let into me.
with a sieve in my hand,
There has to be joy,
washing the sand passing by,
I said to myself.
on the lookout for
And nevertheless.
the rare nuggets of gold,
I learn to listen to it,
not for me
admit it into me
but for the image of You
and, through the sounds,
on the altar of my heart.
to arrive at the dark mines,
Gold from gold -
where the pure, radiant ore
Through the subtle forms
is in rich abundance,
your Light, Beauty and Love
richer than
radiate, for which I yearn
the individual grains
when they start resonating
in the river.
through you in me
The directions from where
and I also begin to see them
the sudden, rich wind
in other yous, in the experience of encounter.
blows away the dark clouds
Often it is just like a distant memory of some promising future fulfilment, and I wait, and wait, and wait
are unforeseen and the deep blue which always has been there radiates completely new.
with a silent sad melody, 14 July 09
The fiery lightning
The apparent low current
has to be slowed down
of rhythmic continuity
to a warm flame
keeps up the pace
which burns reliably
with which the stony path is mastered.
and also gives you strengthening solace
The sublime food
which the current of life needs of the bright flame has to be kept in a solid jar, even when cold winds blow and when a feeling of abandonment
so that it doesn't trickle off into the dust of day-to-day life.
menaces to choke the breath.
I love the ray
High tension is difficult to handle
on the top of the mountain
and needs particular vigilance
which you hold in your hand,
not to burn up you and me
for its shine is also
or to cause irritations
but also the small flickering light
from the one spring.
with the fall from the peak. 15 July 09
For many years
and they too fell away,
the sensation
like a fall of the Gods,
of not wanting to drown
and their old worshippers
in the oblivion
stayed behind,
and the pressure of the daily routine accompanied me.
whereas I, thirsting,
I saw drowning people,
I knew, the goal must be there
as well as friends
but I didn't find the key to me.
who wanted to reach the sky
Only when your warm smile
but, like Icarus,
looked at me and saw
came too near to the Sun
deep through all layers till the ground
and fell.
I found the ground
It seemed to be hopeless
which offered me a solid stand
to find the middle path,
and the security of comfort.
and I went through extremes
My thirst was quenched,
and again and again
and through you
Chintamani,
I found in me
the Treasure of the World,
the middle path through the gates
seemed to be lying before me,
which led me to me
but it was only a delusion.
into the awareness of being.
continued on the road.
The Fata Morgana which I worshipped turned to grimaces
16 July 09
I didn't have time to answer you,
like the summer flower,
you said.
full of beauty.
May it be so.
Blossoms of heartbeat.
Time is a precious treasure
No time? Wherefore
which directs attention
no time? And where
and the emphasis of the rhythms
is the leak
in one's awareness.
through which it
Time I don't have but
melts away into the sand
I am, a gift into the time
without watering
which I can take
thirsty roots?
for what is dear to my heart.
We live in a time of wasteland,
Time, rhythm and structure
where the heat of driving action
are a magical fabric,
desiccates and there is a famine
ingredients of a
for attention and
precious meal
time for each other.
which, prepared tasty,
The inner source lives,
I take as nourishment
and a deeper spring
and also give you
makes the refreshing water
with love as a dish.
well up
It fragrances, and its
like a fountain of joy.
aromatic fullness radiates,
17 September 09
Vibrating cooperation
which uplifts people
lives from the joint
to their be-ness
rhythmic heartbeat of
in being together,
team play,
and which shows others
opens the heart for each other
a silent ideal,
and the service
a vision of future brotherhood,
which, jointly done,
a stronghold in dangerous times,
multiplies through the
of friends
magic of radiant work.
whose strength is not weapons
It is an interplay of forces
but joy,
inspired by sublime sources,
not money
which hands its gift to the humans.
but unison
A wonder of accord,
in fulfilment.
in shared being,
in which the musicians learn to tune their instruments
and, playing in concert, to spread a magic
18 July 09
While talking with you
when will and wisdom married
about the keys of stars
lead to right action.
your intuition opened
Their marriage is healing
deep sights into vastnesses
and liberates my stars
of karmic functioning
to higher pathways,
and back, through the veil
and the tender light of their smile
of death and birth,
radiates to me from your eyes'
to imprints, where the themes
silent hints
wait in the Now
from out of the depth
to be picked up and
of the inner space.
worked out.
Now we can evoke the will with a clearer understanding and set the course for brighter paths.
The burdens of earlier ignorance, having created the biases and the not-wanting, begin to fall off from us,
19 July 09
When yesterday we drove with you
In some places heaviness weights
and who, with its force,
into the city,
over the streets, and suspicions
conduct the new buoyancies
you told us
of past violence,
into life.
that the sight of the houses and palaces
and you showed us
Old traces of magical practice
makes rise in you
alleys and subterranean hallways
decorate walls of old houses
images of sunk times
which had been prisons.
as dead symbols.
and how layers over layers
And the life above
The new signs are still waiting
of bygone experiencing
unconsciously feels the misery,
outside the gates.
wave towards you a fugacious whiff.
even if the contemporaries
Over the countryside, however,
The city is like a charged space
imagine to no more remember
and in the more subtle worlds
of then living life,
the old encumbrances.
which puts a veil of often dark events
It needs a powerful wind
the powers of a freer, lighter time
over the area
to dissipate the dark clouds,
gather the children of Uranus.
and where the old building
and it needs people
They turn the wheel
jut out like signs
who invoke it into themselves
to brighter times.
from out of the seemingly forgotten ocean.
Brussels, 20 July 09
The encounters of a day
The encounter by the look
are like a hike through
through the portal of the eyes
many worlds of biographies,
lets the messages of experiencing
which briefly touch in space and time, whose touches, however,
only receive their meaning in the sphere of mutual connections. Is the fleeting encounter just a passing-by Hello
or a reunion which strengthens profound ties still deeper, or even an alliance for a plan of joint action,
or a warm exchange between travellers, who move in the same stream through different currents on the way to the same goal?
flash over within seconds. Manifold messengers of moods resound through space, of questions and joy, of affliction. Their reverberation expands to the billboards of memories,
up to the horizons of the background, as a new note in the choir of life essences, distillate of the Quinta Essentia. 21 July 09
Cordiality
Its distant murmur
is a warm giving and taking of
makes me walk on, and,
mindful presence for each other.
like after a bent of the alley
The cordial attention can grow,
the river emerges again
when the ring-pass-not of the heart
as if without interruption.
expands and grows
I love its flow.
towards the horizon.
It is time of fullness now.
It is a movement towards convergence in non-judgemental devotion, which grows through the interaction of radiation and continues to run if I am connected with the source of the flow. At times the stream seems to dry up, and also the backflow runs dry.
But it continues to flow through subterranean dykes.
22 July 09
You are fascinated by doing magical things
The charm of the higher magic of the soul
in the awareness of the Divine.
and the charm of secret doing
is beneficial for the shadows
Premature horses
draws you into fields of experience
of age-old fears,
which are familiar to you
and the flute of Krishna
are difficult to rein back
from olden times, and where,
is more powerful than
as you said,
and easily let themselves
the power over
subtle threads of destiny
to be guided by the
the spirits of elements,
prepare the way.
fodder of
Amrita, holy nectar of Gods,
It seems as if it were provisioned
worldly experience.
is more enchanting than
to walk dangerous paths
Their reins need
shamanic drugs.
but you are free
a strong driver,
But
to consecrate your freedom
it needs the courage
May you hand them over
to higher goals
of humility
to Him.
and consciously renounce to trespass.
to put yourself
You are free not to follow a call of dark tracks you have toed earlier but which today you can leave again voluntarily.
on the altar of transformation and to be prepared
for the inner alchemy, not by doing but by being
23 July 09
At several friends' places
Even though sometimes
I encountered your traces
they were not appropriate
in the form of a book.
I henceforth trusted them more
Years ago our paths crossed -
than the blind voices
intense talks, warm exchanges.
even disguising themselves
But then the view of the goal
as coming from lofty sources.
separated us.
We did no longer trust each other,
I was convinced of my paths
and also the gurus divided us.
and you of your
Much time has elapsed, and
forms of worship
my paths have become broader.
and the inner voices guiding you.
Did yours also widen?
And the image of the one
I feel a connectedness
whom we had worshipped together
beyond the concepts and views,
fell from my altar.
a stream of love,
Even before my voices
which unites and merges.
had turned to be deceivers and I had closed their doors and put a guard in front with the weapons of discrimination.
24 July 09
You are standing at the threshold of transition and have nearly completed the circle of life. Even though they are slowly sinking memories surface from far back and the rich experiences have drawn cheerful serenity
In the fabric of fate you have interwoven the threads
to a home in you heart, a place of togetherness. The call from beyond is getting louder, and soon you will set out with joy
into your face.
to cross the bridge between the worlds,
From out of your eyes
weaving connections.
the radiance of the light shines forth
No farewell, but penetrating
which your life has kept following.
to greater circles.
A glow of stardust lies on your path. Heaviness you transformed with devotion into the steps of the path. Friendships did not cloud the view onto darkness and light, shadows as well as faithful ties.
25 July 09 A meeting with an old friend, three weeks before her passing
Although you walked
Although our paths
a longer distance on your path,
probably won't cross again
our stretches of road often run
in these body garments,
very close without touching,
we know of each other
we heard from each other
and of the power
and felt contacts
which travelling together bestows
without meeting, except a short encounter on the way years ago. The encounter with you was like a reunion with an old companion, an exchange of joy
and which strengthens the community of comrades treading together and which makes the light
above the distant horizon shine brighter.
and pictures of recollections, a warming fire
of consonance of fiery aspiration, which sounds in me a profound reverberation of friendship.
26 July 09, Hamburg
Groups, too, have life-cycles,
Help comes from above,
they can moult and,
the guiding light,
in a new form,
if we permit its entry
let the life-force ascend
to awaken to the power.
to its goal of mergence
Then it is not we who shed off the old skin
of heaven and earth. Winged serpents are rare but the music of the soul slowly makes sprout
the impulse to rise or puts seeds of future wings into the eggs.
but it falls off, when the stream of electric flow carries us upwards, together with those who equally hatch in the change of forms
Times of transition however
and rise to fly into the vast expanses of blue.
are difficult,
From there dewdrops fall
and when the old skin
into the grass
threatens to become too narrow,
as nourishing nectar
it is dangerous wanting to remain in it
for those searching for it.
out of fear of the nakedness after hatching out.
27 July 09
Your life breathes an irrepressible urge
for freedom of limiting forms, for opening the portals towards new spheres of spiritual life, where exotic flowers of experience
unfold their full fragrances no fenced-in garden but a colourful meadow. You follow a star with firmness,
Structure which threatens to crystallize in size
is suspect to you. For you want the vastness which is calling beyond the horizon from out of cosmic depths of unison of worlds of stars. May your star lighten the path for seekers
as a free wanderer,
as a soft shine from distant heights
together with others
and through your heart
but at the same time alone.
provide them a space
The teachings of life
and warm them.
with their challenging tensions
you tried to connect with thoughts and at the same time dissolved the bonds again and again so as not to get enmeshed in them,
not to get your fire extinguished by them.
28 July 09
In the silence of dawn,
The quiet dynamism of meditation
where the tender rays of the New unfold,
lifts up the pulse of my life
I feel in me the kaleidoscope of the images and moods of the passing-by not as passed-by but like one of the pastel coloured clouds above the trees which colour my sky
with tones of moods and where I sort out in me what is my own clear space and what gets filled
by the passing of fragrances and colours of foreign experience, a reflection, glittering in the dew pearl of the morning leaf.
through its rhythm like a soft breeze into the vastnesses of the inner firmament, filled with the stars of my constellations. And like the sun rising in the warm gold of this summer morning
shines through the leaves, the directions of the unfolding course of time silently herald in space.
29 July 09
The wanderers I met
The third ones also spoke
They no longer had any conflict
carried wounds
about pains and struggles
with life and with others.
hidden under their garments
but in them the fire
Their cheerfulness
of struggles and crises,
which the teacher ignited
sounded a gentle music;
of disappointments and
was burning with a bright flame
its melody also sings
and gave them the strength
in my heart.
rigours of the path. Some gainsaid them, others put balm on them, and still others took them as gifts. The first ones strove to appear as if nothing could affect them but they concealed in them
to walk on with joy in the heart. The fire had cleansed the wounds and out of live coals had formed diamonds,
fear of failure.
which radiated out of their eyes
The second ones complained
like sparkling stars.
of injustices and envy of others.
In some of them
They nurtured in themselves
the pains had not yet died away
bitterness and frustration,
but out of the ember
practiced rigour
they had gained
also towards others.
an essence of serenity which nourished them with gratitude, humility and acceptance of the fruits.
30 July 09
I feel again the pain
But when the healing rays
of old wounds
of the sun cast their shine
behind dense mental shells,
even into the dark fountain
guarded by guardians
and the cold stone
of the threshold.
receives the tender touch,
The fear of one's own dark side
the atoms in it start to vibrate faster,
seals the access and puts a taboo of touch around the proximity of silently festering injuries. They are like a curse whose whiff of scent connects the ones silently bound in antipathic repulsion,
karmic burden of unreleased experience of dark suffering.
and warmth is released in the depth. Silently love sprouts which melts the sharp tips
of judging thoughts and thus the wounds start to heal. From afar a healing melody rings over to me, the enchanted sound of His flute. 31 July 09
How can I be
When I let go of my own judging
completely open to those
the entering germs can unfold
whom I encounter
and let their seed sprout.
and yet not lose myself in them,
And often light falls down from above,
not let myself be deceived
and its ray unveils
by what is being shown, uttered
what remained hidden to the fugitive eye.
or brought to my attention
I am, and thus I step into relation
as opinions about others?
to what comes to me.
There are many voices
And it puts down its veils
and moods coming,
and shows itself naked.
glittering on the surface
And as the wind of oblivion
of changing forms.
blows away the dust,
Other melodies keep on resounding
the lasting contours of precious treasures
and evoke in me their echo. The reverberation
show up, bestowing me the life through encounters.
carries a trace from the origins,
for before the sound falls silent, it gives itself into the silent depth from out of which emerge structures of the qualities of the experience.
01 August 09
A strange touch
but its language
of an impression upon awakening
made your behaviour
made me perceive a part of
like in a bright light
hidden sorrow in you
and revealed
with a certitude
my judgement
that joyful-forgiving comprehension
as wrong.
closed a wound which was burning in me for a long time.
The impression was unexpected,
clear to me
Even though the confirmation might stay away nevertheless the messenger has brought peace and silent relief.
without the messenger of an outer word, transmitting the atrocity of a violation which might have happened to you a long time ago,
about which you didn't speak
02 August 09
At times I feel a secret joy
Silent words also
to put little bombs
open rusty locks,
with silent words and deeds,
and a soul frozen in a prison
bombs that don't hurt
comes forth
but quietly shatter walls
and wounds start healing.
which restrain the free flow of energy
It is a silent work,
or which
It happens more by non-doing
break the protective barriers
than by doing,
around injuries.
by letting go, allowing.
They are love bombs, and often
And then I silently return
I tremble with excitement
to myself.
brief, quick and secret.
when gently, seemingly casually the fuse of a word starts burning in the powder keg. It burns slowly,
sometimes over a long period. No loud explosion resounds but a movement in slow motion though with the power
of a detonation.
03 August 09
I encountered the signs of your action in the hearts of people. At all places of the journey they were striving along the trace of light which you have drawn and linked with the original source. From the point of Light the light streams forth
into their lives and the life radiates with the pulse of your heart, connecting, uniting, merging, penetrating. 08 August 09
You cross the veils
Through the open window,
between the worlds
the fragrance
and lifted some for me
of spring flowers entered
for a deeper understanding. and spread its gentle breeze Images appeared
into the blue expanse
of fateful encounters
of my heart.
which created connections and knots, and interweaved threads the fibres of which reach over into the tissue of today as attitudes and moods, constellations of encounters with other Yous
carrying wide roots. In freedom we severed strings of binding oaths and cut loose the fetters of dark conduct.
06 August 09
You showed us the worlds
Cooled-down dolour
which your eye beheld
cries for redemption
and which you captured
out of shivery vastnesses,
into form with great struggle,
for the warming touch of hearts,
into images and sculptures. Magic worlds of distant countries arose.
by which the congealed crystal
Inner spaces radiated
and lets the imprisoned spirit
with numberless facets
penetrate to the fiery core,
beauty and yearning,
which gives warmth and
faces full of wisdom and condolement,
secures you into the security
cracks
of the inner home.
elegiacal fields of spirit-beings and of old symbols. Sounds resounded
from out of deep fountains of unfulfilled urge, cried for redemption. Though the glow shone through the door, however, seemed like still closed in you.
06 August 09
Autumn Light under the Moon Node Shades of Yous – 4 Chronological continuation
20 plus 2 poems, an echo
15 August – 08 October 09
Like the tender rays slowly rise
The light of the new path
in the tender grey of the early dawn,
comes in from over there
from out of the inner of the background
and lures the steps
an urge sprouts towards outside, a faraway yearning
for a silently waiting future
of the awakened movement with the promise of a joyful rumour into a virgin world.
of a greater vastness. The seed of will emerges and breaks the retained tranquillity,
rises towards the searching unfoldment whereto?
15 August 09
From where comes the distant sound to my ear?
I listen to an inner melody which gently sweeps through my inner like a spring waft and like the ripples
on the surface of water give rise in me to soft waves of joy without an outer reason. I direct this joy to the outside and let it silently pour into my conversation or my lines. And often an echo comes back from the mountains of other hearts and their tone joins the concert of my inner and I dance with joy before You. 19 August 09
Thresholds are crossed silently,
And it was as if
often without knowing
through a crack in the wall
which new world waits
floods gushed forth,
behind the gates.
violently and impetuously
Frequently you only see the threshold
rushing into the plane,
when it is already crossed.
Over the raging but silent
In the silence of the morning
echo of the flood
suddenly an impulse surfaces
a radiant sun rose
from far back
and the waters brought
and for a moment a door reveals
thirst-quenching gifts
which I didn't see before
to the ones waiting in the distance,
and through which my word passed.
and the wall yielded and broke.
and also your heart
And it was like an enormity,
resounded beyond the pains
like a small stone
in a brighter joy,
taken out of your dam.
in the heart of the sun.
I deeply felt your pain about the step into the country of a freer expanse but interwoven with some sadness.
20 August 09
Was it betrayal
where you cannot retain the earth
when I spoke words
but can direct the flow
which seemed to you like a dagger thrust?
of fiery rocks of pain
Or was it the loving hand of a surgeon
of loving understanding.
who began opening a festering wound
Do you dare
so that the poison of trapped pain
to leave behind the fear of the eruption
starts to flow
and to give space in you
and the wound, purged,
for a wide opening,
heals?
so that also in the other You
Poisonous wounds have partners,
healing can happen?
dig their suction cups armed with barbs
Only courage to dare
into other Yous, where mute suffering cries for deliverance and nevertheless
with a seal of silence tries to suppress the cry. Subterranean explosions blaze trails to the surface like magma flows
and discharge with the power of a liberating eruption,
into the cooling ocean
can open the way to healing, when the signs are correctly read. The reward is liberation from old burden, and the warming light which dissolves torpor also in your heart. 24 August 09
Towers collapse
Dancing with firm steps
when the time-soil
the rhythm of the
slowly lets
of the unbridled change
its eroding movements work.
gives joy
Even the plates of the continents
when the hold
dance on the fragile ground
in the containing silence
of the rhythmic movements
is the anchorage
of the Great Mother.
and gives protection
It is the love for the new life,
in profound ground.
which makes the old crumble to give way for virgin striving. But change hurts if we try to hold to the stones fallingdown or look for stability on a wavering ship at times of storm. But where shall I cast my anchor? How can I extend you a supporting hand, when dark clouds seem to hide for you
the radiance of the Sun?
26 August 09
Unresolved thoughts,
so that it doesn't get smashed
held back and unrecognized
at a rock
in their haze of interweaving,
and emotionally charged spray
block the stream of life pressing ahead
doesn't block the vision.
like stones
it needs extreme vigilance
and form dangerous rapids
and a steady eye of the helmsman
which threaten to carry away
who sees the shoals and,
the swimmer of consciousness
navigating with a firm hand
and draw him under water. The passage
brings the boat closer to the next harbour,
between Scylla and Charybdis1
knowing the distant goal.
During such passages
is difficult and every word surfaces
29 August 09
like a vortex in the current through which
the boat of the relieving idea has to navigate 1 Scylla,
a sea monster of Greek mythology, lived on a rock near the Strait of Messina, opposite of its counterpart called Charybdis. Together they mark two inevitable, equally big evils. (Wikipedia)
A silent, joyful harmony
Is it violence
settles over the space
which makes the kernel
which enwraps the things with love
break forth
and lets them thrive,
or love?
strengthening them within themselves.
The time shows the harvest
Blessing swells like living water
of the fruit of ripening,
through the small crannies,
the full flavour of sustenance.
which makes the hard shell
Fullness out of fullness.
of the ego-cover break up
Thanksgiving.
and the food the quality
and the sprouts spring up
with young green. It is good to see the limiting hulls around the mature fruit pop up like the spiked shell breaks up
which surrounds the chestnut and releases the shiny kernel. It needs maturity until the hull can open
but even a small crack helps for the relieving opening.
02 September 09
The soft radiant glow of the full moon
Even though the moonlight
permeates the day.
radiates its magic shine,
The atmosphere is filled by the surge
it is only received by the open heart
it reflects for us from the sun
which listens to the cycle of rhythm.
and which my mirror
Silently I prepare myself
irradiates into my heart.
to give access to the cosmic envoy
The silent but powerful surge
and openly stretch out my soul's hands
rises the ship of my day,
to receive the gift of Luna
and even while I dive
which carries music and star fire,
through the vortexes of everyday life,
enlivening my inner fire.
the pulse beat of the great wave in secret presence remains my companion and a sparkling stone in the treasure of awareness. With a closed chest you don't sense the lively luminous crystal and don't see the messenger who wants to present you the fresh words of the month as a gift.
03 September 09
Who has called us? That we are here together
and to get involved with each other,
is a long, stony path
knowing about our abysses
of experience,
and weaknesses.
has guided us through dangers,
And to approach our attitudes
where wavering bridges
and even change ourselves and
lead over chasms
to decide together,
created by distorting mirrors,
even on one's own paths
thoughts nurtured by hidden presumptions.
to give access to the greater Will
And there is an urge
and pulse beat of our lives.
which makes us walk on,
Not, it is not a wrong sacrifice
a call of love,
of one's own
which nurtures the fire in us
but the power
and propels us,
which arises out of the centre
a longing,
and unites us
a determination, a readiness,
and merges us in a greater vastness,
a knowledge
the origin of the New.
as guiding principle and direction
that we want to go together and want to go, and a joint will driving us to dare to open ourselves
05 September 09
Convulsions
when even the fellow hikers
open sealed chambers
rejoice over the route
for crises of transformation.
and are prepared
How difficult it is
to take the load
to let break open
across several shoulders.
old crusts of attitudes
For in the community
towards what we take as holy
a greater power grows.
and cautiously
Even if everyone brings in a share,
provide together space
a higher order arranges the parts
for a new, more human attitude!
into the bigger picture,
May pain be inflicted upon others
which, unknown before,
for what I consider for the Higher
expresses the sublime beauty,
in the name of the divine Plan?
unveiling the great.
Where does humanity count more? Difficult decisions can better be taken together, the burden can become lighter and a new joy can grow in the community,
07 September 09
Where does the struggle
No, the Plan enters
for the common path lead us ?
into the open space
We unite ourselves,
between the hearts,
not
and the Greater Will
because an outer leader tells us,
is received in love
this is the direction,
and propels the wanderers
or because a fellow wanderer
on their way.
mounts himself up
And they share
to be the leader of the community
the bread of understanding
but because a fire glows in the inner
with each other
which unites us in striving towards the goal
and with everyone
and where the proposal of the one
and gratefully receives the food.
who sees farther
It is manna in the desert,
arouses in each heart
a delicious dish,
the sound of unison
and the drink
and a common understanding awakens,
comes out of the rock fountain,
a greater brightness of awareness,
fresh and clear
in freedom
and tastes of origin.
and not in submission
And, strengthened, the group proceeds,
under someone who says,
united on the way,
I know the Plan,
with the eye to the radiant sun
I have received it and let's execute it,
in the greater heart.
who feels hungry after it
come and help me. 08 September 09
Sometimes veils of exhaustion
and your nearness awakens again
cast themselves over the soul
my determination
and seem to choke the fire
and arouses in me strength.
and the smoke blurs the vision
And I feel
and goal is no more in sight.
how my call reaches
And my Yous seem to be far away,
the ear of your soul
no warming word,
and strengthens the bond
only a bleak wind blows
of the community
through tired streets
so that at these severe times
where people hide themselves
out of the awareness of connectedness
before each other
we draw the strength from the
and the activity runs on dead.
union of all those
But suddenly a silent cry
striving towards the Light
tears open the veil
and follow its direction.
and through the dense clouds a bright ray enters through the blue expanse into my heart and the look of the soul broadens far over the land, where I feel you friends, companions,
12 September 09
How can I follow
Only an inkling
all the rules of the path?
that somewhere
There are so many
light might come again
and I see
makes me walk on.
that they seem to crush me
Lord, please help
and in spite of my endeavour
not to lose the way to you
I don't meet them.
in these rough times!
They are like jealous guards, who search through every part of my body and whose exam
I'm not able to withstand. Long years of striving generate despondency but I keep walking on, like staggering and always standing up again, swaying on. I often don't see any light at the end of the tunnel,
it is eclipse.
15 September 09
New moon approaches silently -
And from out of the pause,
or is it an occultation?
the inner,
It falls off, it disappears,
into which the outside turns itself
it dissolves - something
a new sprout germinates
which I cannot exactly grasp,
from out of the original centre.
just like structures
Just like the new awakening
which seemed to support
seems to be like the yesterday
for a long time
and nevertheless is not,
suddenly decay,
for the new moon of the sleep
where forces of constellations
made fade and emerge,
lose their power
my life also receives again
where even a core dissipates
a fresh impulse
coreless into space,
which leads on
where I also don't find my centredness,
into known-unknown spring fields of experience
my identity,
as a gift
where the ground yields
of the certainty of existence.
and bogs down whereto? Yes, even mountain ranges,
continents, solid and big, have their new moon, and at times the great breath also breathes in our earth and pauses.
17 September 09, the day before New Moon
Pausing in the silence
which make me feel unsecure
which resounds after the sound -
or even seem to bring a secret poison.
from where comes the breeze of the New? At times between two flowers I haven't seen it arise
alertness is important
but suddenly it is there,
and openness for the steps
softly caressing my face
slowly approaching,
and sweet with
for hands full of seeds,
still unknown flowers of the day.
for questions,
I don't see their roots
for new faces.
but when they hold out to me
The course through the day
their light green leaves of experiences,
is always full of change
they are full of drive of unfoldment.
above the ground of the
From where comes their urge
pulse of life flowing by,
and whereto surges the fresh growth?
which makes my steps dance ahead,
I guess the direction,
more and more.
since the seed rests in my heart, but every flower of hour is full of surprise, and often their beauty irritates me. I see on the petals dangers and shapes against which I resist,
New Moon, 18 September 09
Blessing comes unexpectedly, a joyful opening
Away are the walls of narrow horizons,
lifts burden from my shoulders,
of confinement
and suddenly my heart feels lighter.
in separation and otherness.
Warmth expands
And like from out of
with a sense of divine presence
a fresh mountain spring
giving the security
I drink the joy
of loving nearness and connection.
and pass it on,
All of a sudden dark thoughts
with the blessing look of the sea
full of dust of everyday life
over the net of cordial relatedness
are blown away
and the feet no longer heavy from the mud of the field of work. Above me, space opens like a cone of vastness and grows and unfolds over the country and further on. The distant brothers are suddenly very close and I feel their hand near to mine and their clear look which opens soul-gates.
and further, like waves expanding over the sea and further into the vastness. 19 September 09
It is getting silent in the inner.
I let myself draw
Leaves fall off
by the pull of the ebb tide,
and the life withdraws itself
for it draws me into the sea,
like the sap into the trunk
the Mother,
when it gets colder.
from where in future high tide
The bright colours of the foliage
washes ashore new waves
announce their near fall,
from beyond the silence.
and also intensely bright days of life already contain their near autumn time, profundity, waiting.
Where has gone the pulsating urge of life? All wanting towards outside seems to come to a standstill, appointments end, people withdraw, and I also feel the call from inside, louder than at times of the swift outer dance.
21 September 09
The protective membrane
And openness brings the joy
of individuality
of expansion,
saves from too early core-touch,
where the shell
before your centre is consolidated.
becomes a radiant sheath
Core-touch happens
of diamond light
in loving encounter of the inner sparks,
which gives protection and refuge
Scintillas1,
A coat of stardust
which can unite to one flame,
of the Great Mother
light from the One Light.
which holds and enwraps us all.
also to others.
Fear makes the flame flicker the shell protects.
26 September 09
The Own is holy but often like locked in behind walls of bitter experiences of age-old lesions, of tentacles of unresolved biographies. The dormant urge to grow slowly strengthens the core. And ripening brings fearlessness and courage towards openness.
1 Scintilla:
Latin: Sparks
Extremely dark times,
And I feel
where dejection and distress
how it emanates
call from several sides,
and spreads healing,
where my hydra raises its head
soothing wounds,
and menaces to bar my way.
erecting,
Threatening gestures
inspiring,
of unredeemed breakaway
bringing a new day
from the current of life.
also for you.
A rearing up, a dark mirroring of shady reflections and then in the silence like a door opens and light enters, and it is like an awakening from out of a confused dream, where the wild chimeras of thoughts suddenly yield to the ray of morning light, as if they had never been. And the power of the Leading Hand, which seemed to have disappeared forever has again awakened in my heart, gives courage and confidence.
03 October 09
I hear -
of years of striving,
wild voices,
of struggling for right understanding.
enticing, seductive.
And yet it is there,
Like a mantra shred songs
the warming light
keep on resounding
which flows into my heart
through multi-channel amplified
from beyond the silence,
attention catchers,
bright sounds of vast reaches and announcing promises of their short- freedom. term religion. And also the Ones who help us since long And then the massive planks
to find the way out of the labyrinth,
of the scaffoldings of values,
succour us
souls are hanging in them
with silent-dynamic words of power,
at walls like nets,
giving courage,
sticking at the bitter-sweet glue
support,
of empty promises of paradise
putting balm for my wounds.
paired with
It is good to know of them
fear traps of apprehensions.
and to weather through the storm
Is there no way out?
together with you friends,
Laments of hungry people
helping the seeker,
in front of the full pots
silently passing on the joy.
of the carousel of consumption. The nourishing food is deeper, hidden behind the shells of inner work,
07 October 09
The doors are closed again. It is rest time now.
Time to silently grow and letting flourish the growth in the depth. It is good
if at times the weapons lie dormant, if the wounds heal, if there is a distance to the places of battle even if it has not yet finished for it is an eternal struggle. But now it is rest time, the doors of the words are closed for the moment. 08 October 09
P.S.1: You have passed over the threshold,
in silence but full of power, gentle and yet clear, like you have followed your way since long. The New is not foreign to you, for it is the homeland of your soul,
the home which you carry inside like a radiant germ, and when you now drop your garments which enveloped the spark the light shines through you still brighter, fecundating the seeds which you have gathered with your hands to offer the fruits to the new life as sustenance for future wanderers. 15 August 09 For Tamara Pieper (29 March 1921 - 14 August 2009)
P.S.2: Even though you know about the continuance of the souls, you are filled with the pain of farewell. During transition letting go is difficult for us who stay back and the yearning for reunion pierces through the heart. But in its centre
is the door to the light, and the pulse of life carries the experience on. And if you deeply admit the mourning into yourself, up to the bottom, you feel how the foundations carry and how you, carried by life, can enter with firm steps into a new world of joy. 18 August 09
Ludger Philips: Shades of Yous 90 + 2 poems in 4 sections English translation by the author © 2014, Ludger Philips CH 3073 Gümligen BE
Free electronic distribution info@ludgerphilips.org