Sunday, June 20, 2010
THE BELIZE TIMES
Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory…
By: Mike Rudon Jr. “Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination…We'll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation.” – Pure Imagination Lyrics I’ve always liked that movie – the Gene Wilder version of the 1970s much more than the more recent Johnny Depp remake. I put it into the Forrest Gump and Shawshank Redemption category… movies that you can watch over and over again and still find amazing. But I hadn’t thought about Mr. Wonka and his factory for years till this morning listening to Love FM’s morning show while driving down to the city. The hosts were lamenting the state of the country, the many issues facing us as a people. Oh God, they said, look at the shootings and murders and little kids getting killed by monsters out there. Things are really bad, they said, our kids are graduating and there are no jobs out there for them. Our city is in a mess, they said, with a dysfunctional City Council. Oh what are we to do? What can we do? But you know what? Not once on today’s show or any other previous show have these hosts made the next obvious link, the next natural connection, the next rational step. IT’S THE GOVERNMENT, STUPID! So many things are going wrong and our nation is falling down around our ears because this government that was voted in to make things better is bogus…end of story! But these hosts and others from other media houses who are dependent on GOB’s advertising dollar will never take that next step to blurt out the next logical conclusion. See, they are living in Mr. Barrow’s world of pure imagination and taking a spin in a world of his creation. Yeah I’m pissed. I’m pissed a lot of the time now because things are getting much worse for our Belizean people. NOTHING is better. EVERYTHING is worse. The media played a huge part in bringing down the past administration, more so than they would probably now want to admit. But those same vigilant watchdogs turned bloodhounds that chased whiffs of corruption on the breeze back then are now snoring blissfully in their kennels. Back then if any member of the PUP passed wind the fourth estate rottweilers would be straining at the leash with jaws snapping. Now they just roll over and play dead. It’s a damned travesty. Listen, things are going wrong, really wrong. I’m not making that up – just look around. Some of us want to play stupid, some want to play along for whatever reason. But the reality is that the responsibility for the way things are
rests squarely on the shoulders of that blissfully rich, blissfully ignorant, blissfully selectively blind leader in name only Mr. Barrow. Let’s take crime, for example. The Jaguar has gone from being an endangered species to now being declared officially extinct. It gives me no pleasure to say – we told you so! None at all! Operation Restore Belize will never work. Never! What that fails, it will give me no pleasure to say I told you so. See, crime can’t be controlled by something Mr. Barrow came up with in his air-conditioned study while sitting in a leather recliner in a red smoking jacket in his mansion in front of
the sea. We all knew it would be brilliantly written – Mr. Barrow is book smart if nothing else. But closer analysis of Mr. Barrow’s actions predict in true Nostradamus fashion that any plan originating from that gentleman can be nothing more than a beautifully packaged, carefully crafted, gloriously etched bundle of bulls@#t. Let’s make this really short and definitely not sweet. Take a look at our DPP. Some people are citing conviction statistics in the last 2 years of about 7%. I think they’re being too nice to her. She’s done nothing to distinguish herself during her term. She’s been consistently accused of being in political pockets, so to speak, and she’s been referred to as the new poster girl for criminals on remand waiting for their day in Court. Oh, and she’s been on extended maternity leave two times in the past two years. Yeah I know it’s not exactly politically correct to mention that and some people are frowning right now, but the fact is that we are desperately in need of an effective DPP and an efficient DPP’s office. This one ain’t it. Mr. Barrow spoke at length about the caliber of man who would be needed as the new Attorney-General. He would need to be a pit-bull, said our leader…a dynamic, energetic, active legal wunderkind who would spare no time or effort in this war facing us. And then he gave
26 us UDP crony B.Q. Pitts. Come no man! Mr. Pitts has no experience in the legal area in which an AG must be expert. Friends of Mr. Pitts have claimed that he is in the twilight of his years…others have said that he is half-senile and about ready to be put out to pasture. Really now Mr. Barrow! And then there’s our new Minister of Police. Mr. Barrow removed the old minister because he was weak, ineffectual and could not earn the respect of his officers. He also had a bad habit which I am certain did not gain him any respect from the rank and file in the Police Department. But Mr. Barrow replaced him with a man who has no qualifications for the job, nothing to bring to the table in the area of law enforcement and who also is said to have a habit which will not earn him the respect of the rank and file of the Police Department. This is all crazy. The things that Mr. Barrow does and gets away with boggle the mind, really. Some of us can continue to tour Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory, but the fact of the matter is that we’re living in Belize, Jack. If you look up and see any oompa loompas with bright orange faces coming your way singing a song, you better get the hell out of there in a hurry. They’ll probably be packing 9mms and will more likely jack you than take you for a magical ride on a chocolate stream.