of being alone. The ironic truth is that my behavior actually drove everyone away from me, creating the exact situation I feared most! Crazy, huh? Let me share a little more about how this behavior worked. Selfish and selfcentered, I thought I was giving freely to people. If you needed something and I could help, I was on a mission to save the day. I would take on your problem, give you several examples of how to fix it, insist on giving explicit instructions, and then place you in my debt. My goal was to make you feel obligated to help me in the event I needed you, and, even if it hurt me, I
“willAt
the end of life we not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.We will be judged by ‘I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.’”
Mother Teresa
would keep you around because of this obligation. Little did I know my behavior stemmed directly from the fear of being alone.
ships and my life potential. I realized I had been living life on my own tiny terms, without acknowledging the enormous possibilities out there. Stubborn self-reliance had taken me to the center of my fears. There I was – alone, defeated and at a point of no return. As I began to unravel these behaviors, I found my own dishonesty and fear the hardest feelings to grapple with. “But I’m sacrificing everything to help!” I thought, in my own defense. “I’m doing all of this for you! If only you’d just do what I say everything will work out!” In all these thought patterns and resulting behaviors, I imagined I was helping others, but what I was actually doing was manipulating them, and feeling sorry for myself in the process. The most wonderful aspect of challenging my own thought patterns and behaviors was the freedom I found. I realized how limiting my thoughts and actions had become in terms of my relation-
I will never forget that moment, the moment I reached out from utter defeat and a hand was there to meet mine. From rock bottom, working with others taught me how to look inside myself for the answers. Instead of trying to fix my internal condition with external revisions, I found my Higher Power, my God, in community – working with and being of service to others. When I work with others, I steer clear of selfish behaviors. When I am being of service, others show up to help. When I place my intentions on community, I see and feel unity. When I forget about myself, I look around and realize I am not, and have never been, alone.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway…You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa
LOVE HOW YOU FEEL ACADIANA 37