QUIPS INTRODUCTORY We’re living in a world of extraordinary stress and strain. It is important for us to de-stress ourselves every now and then. Nothing can help an average reader more than a brief reading of humorous anecdotes, quips and jokes. Given below are a few ‘light moment’ expressions and dialogues for inducing gentle smiles, if not horse laughs. FROM THE NEWSPAPER 1. Long wait An elderly man and his wife decided to separate. Before being allowed to do so legally, the family court insisted that they undergo some counselling to see if their union could be saved. The counsellor did her best, but to no avail. The old folk were absolutely determined to go through with separation leading to divorce. Finally, in some desperation, the counsellor said: “But you’re 95 and your wife is 93. You’ve been married for 72 years. Why do you want to separate now?” To which the wife replied: “We haven’t been able to stand each other for the past 46 years. But we thought we should wait until all the children died before we split up.” 2. Dutiful duo A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalk. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.” One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.” 3. A : What is the importance of duty? B : It’s our duty to do our duty. A : Who says this? B : I say this. English Today
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March 2017