Baby Led Potty Training by LivingwWarmth

Baby Led Pottying

https://youtu.be/ED9LYBmS9gE

https://youtu.be/j_Bn3XW32hM

How I Offered My Baby the Potty from Nine Weeks Old Toilet training tips for parents and child carers of newborns and babies aged under two. Wearing vegan nappies and changing out of them quickly. The child centred potty learning technique involves observing your baby to recognise and respond to their needs with kindness and patience. It works in the same way as you spot signs for hunger or tiredness. This gentle nonverbal conversation is also referred to as: elimination communication, EC, natural infant hygiene, and nappy free or diaper free. Unique babies learn to go to the toilet a different ages and in different ways all around the world, so find what works for you. Course content: 45 minutes of videos 1 hour of reading 5 infographics Learn practical techniques to toilet your baby at home and outside. Fit toilet training into your family life. Practice a new way to bond with your baby. Change nappies faster, and with less crying. Identify the best vegan baby products for your bums and baths. Meet other parents and guardians in a nonjudgmental space.

My experience: I write the website Vegan Family Guide, and our potty story has featured in Mum Force and Mush. Parenting- Hacks I've picked up from enabling my own child. Teaching and blogging- Through which I learnt to explain things. Childcare- Insights for how potty training could apply in a nursery. Veganism & sustainability- Animal friendly nappies. Benefits to parents and guardians: It is quicker to clean a baby's bum when they poo in a bucket or toilet than in a nappy. This way the poo does not stay on their skin and spread across their back and into their clothes. You save money and the environment by buying or washing less nappies and using less nappy cream. In the long run you save time on nappy changes, (but in the short run you spend more time, and also spend pennies on cafe toilets). Connect through communicating about toilet needs, remove the mystique of the toilet, and start training before your baby is a distractible toddler. Improve health through drier, cleaner nappies. Reduce the increased risk of urinary tract infection for children who still wear nappies at age 3 or 4. Our child never had nappy rash. Help children develop bodily autonomy when they are ready Why not? Benefits to childminders, nurseries and day care: In the UK, earlier potty training is increasing in popularity and has featured in the news. It is therefore topical to offer this service. Parents may be waiting for you to tell them to start toilet training. When they hear it is possible to start sooner, parents could be pleasantly surprised.

Table of Contents Get started……………….....................................6 Timetable toilet trips into your day………………...14 Hold your new baby confidently…………………...21 Try more ways to hold an older baby……………..25 Know how to go, when away from home………...31 Know when your baby is going to go……………..38 Respond when baby says no………………………45 Change nappies calmly…………………………….51 Buy diapers…………………..................................59 Go shopping or swapping………………………….64 Make it work in childcare……………………...……70 Review…..…………………………………….……..74

Photo by Lois Lee

Get Started

Get Started Summary: Babies don’t love sitting in their own mess. Baby toilet training is about meeting baby’s needs. Babies have different communications styles and preferences. Talk to your baby about what you are doing and name body parts. Do not be cross with your baby if they have accidents. It is what is expected from babies. A ‘psss’ sound can be used when you hold you baby. At first it’s more work, but it soon becomes less work. Activity: Think about how you will keep yourself calm around your baby, and how your own upbringing may unconsciously influence your behaviors. Think about how you know when your baby wants to eat or sleep- could their toilet signals be similar?

Know the benefits of EC Introduction I started toilet training my child when they were two months old. This course is based on my own experience. It explains the techniques Baby and I used to facilitate family toilet breaks. Baby led potty training is a system for recognising and responding to a baby’s needs, rather than training. It should not be coercive; ‘gentleness, communication and fun are the order of the day’. When we started toilet training, there was usually a little bit of wee in Baby’s nappy. The system was working, it was just that Baby didn’t hold everything. The benefits It is quicker to clean Baby's bum when they poo in a bucket or toilet than in a nappy. This way the poo does not stay on their skin and spread across their back and into their clothes. You save money and the environment by buying or washing less nappies. In the long run you save time on nappy changes, (but in the short run you spend more time). Connect and communicating about toilet needs, remove the mystique of the toilet, and start training before your baby is a distractible toddler. Improve health through drier, cleaner nappies. There is also an increased risk of urinary tract infection for children who still wear nappies at age 3 or 4. Other names: The practice of starting toilet training early has various names: Elimination communication, EC, natural infant hygiene. The most popular is probably elimination communication, but I tend to say ‘potty training’ as it is a concept we are all family with. I had never heard the word ‘elimination’ usef for going to the toilet before. Some people do not like the word ‘training’ as it sounds more didactic. Other resources I also recommend a simple infographics on when and how by ecpeesy. You can find infographics on the benefits of enabling babies to use the toilet here and here, and a blog addressing concerns here. Click here to play all the videos in the course playlist at once.

Understand that no one knows what they're doing or agrees how to raise children Like many aspects of childcare and life in general, ideas about potty training have varied around the world and through history (Amber Hatch). In the UK we are usually told to wait until a child is 2, but I was lucky enough to find out it can be done earlier. Infant toilet training is commonplace in much of the world. In the UK, EC is becoming more popular and has been in the media. U.K. based Foundation Years published a document informing parents that children can communicate they need the toilet from age 16-26 months. Articles published in Nursery World and written by PACEY reference toilet training taking place at 3 days old in the past, and currently between 15 months and 3 years. Swedish parents will be advised to toilet train their babies at their 10-month old checks. In Finland , public toilets almost always have a potty. In a USA Montessori nursery, all children in the 12 to 18 months class wear pants, regardless of what happens in the home environment. The idea is to normalise going to the toilet. The teacher feels that the children behave well because they are not distracted by discomfort. They have learnt to pay attention to their bodies, and this has led into paying attention in other areas of play. In a Chinese nursery, children from age 1 are placed on enamel spittoons after their naps. At another nursery, a 10 month old was held in the EC position over a metal bucket, from 6 months the children are trained to sit on a wooden potty, and from 2 they will go to the toilet by themselves . Another Chinese nursery has child-sized toilets and sinks, and potties; but also squat toilets for reasons of space, because these require less cleaning, and are child-sized by nature. Squatting is also an easier position to relieve yourself in. The nursery has a staff member responsible for cleaning throughout the day. In the area previously known as the Communist German Democratic Republic, nurseries used potty benches, where everyone sat at allotted times throughout the day, and waited until everyone had finished. This may not be a practice we would imitate, but it is interesting to know what happens elsewhere!

Photo by Lois Lee

Use kind words- with info video Photo by Davide

https://youtu.be/cmQXQOrB0uE

I try not to impart any shame around bodily functions or body parts, so as Baby feels safe to talk to me about them as they grow up. This is important for health and safeguarding. As when toilet training an older child, encourage without judgement, praise all efforts, not just success, and don’t make a fuss about accidents. Disappointment and anger at accidents can impact children’s bowel health later in life. Many people worry about starting to toilet train to early for such reasons, but it is the approach which matters. Too much praise which only relates to successful pottying could infer a stress of performance or fear of failure in the child. For example, if a child is always called ‘a good girl/ boy’ when they use the potty, this could make them think they are a ‘bad girl/ boy’ when they miss. I am grateful to Baby for communicating with me, and for their patience when getting dressed, but this is not a moral matter. Instead, I might say something like 'ahh that feels better'!

Practice caring parenting I have found baby potty training to work well with other parenting practices: Preparing beforehand: A lot of parents seem very prepared for birth and washable nappies, but there is more to parenting than that. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding on demand: Having learnt to recognise and respond to my child’s hunger cues, it was then easier to learn their toilet cues. I’m glad I did it in that order, since starting to feed was enough work initially. Breastfeeding is said to help create bonding hormones in a mother. I sometimes found it convenient to give my baby a wee and a boob at once (or you could use a bottle). Forming a connection: Parenting can be viewed as a way of making your child bend to your will, by ignoring their tears, so as they become self reliant and ready for the harsh, sad world. Alternatively, you can work on developing an understand so as you both learn to identify and work through emotional issues. This approach is better suited to toilet training. Co-sleeping: Originally, we were made to feel guilty about bed sharing, through stories of accidents and irritated Dads. However, we still co-sleep with our toddler, and this has meant I can respond to their requests immediately, before incidents escalate. When they still wanted feeding at night, Baby would stir, have a feed, and stay asleep. Loving touch: Cuddling, skin to skin and baby wearing helped Baby and I to form an attachment and learnt to communicate. The changing mat can be a handy spot for baby massage. Playing: Now that Baby is older, we connect through giggling, chatting, and making up stories together. Change: Observe and adapt all the time. Don’t be ideological, and try to work out how your own life experiences formed biases and behaviour patterns. Keep an open mind: Learning that it is possible to potty train earlier than I was previously told has influenced my view of other aspects of parenting. For example, I've offered Baby Vegan opportunities to walk and read earlier than I thought I would. I do not expect results, just make help available if wanted. Veganism and nonviolence: EC sets the example that you honour your child's rights to health and bodily autonomy. Perhaps being set a good example will set them up well for a compassionate future. Useful links: UNICEF- Building a Happy Baby WHO- 10 facts about early child development as a social determinant of health Partnership- Caring and Connected Parenting Attachment Parenting UK- 5 Ways to Strengthen Attachment (beyond the obvious!) Attachment Parenting article in Web MD Permaculture Parenting- Becoming a permaculture parent - 4 steps to improve family communication Importance of Parenting- What Can I Do as a Parent? As a parent, you have a pivotal role in shaping a culture of partnership. Nonviolent Communication- The Heart of Parenting: Nonviolent Communication in Action Hand in Hand

Work together if you are in a partnership Dads in heterosexual couples An equal partnership? Women are still more likely to carry out more housework, such as nappy laundry. Women are still also more like to carry the mental load or invisible work of managing heterosexual families, also called emotional labour. This means planning ahead and being mentally present. Unsurprisingly, elimination communication courses and groups comprise mostly women. Furthermore, of EC survey respondents, 99% were female. Encouragingly, however, 80% had their partner on board. It has not been biologically proven that one gender is better at holding a baby over a bucket, or changing their nappy more often... but in reality, elimination communication can easily add to women’s to-do lists. How does this happen? Parental leave entitlement is unequal, and not everyone qualifies anyway. Nappy changing facilities are usually only provided in women’s toilet, but there is a campaign to get changing tables in men’s toilets. It becomes a habit to expect the primary caregiver to take them to the toilet, whatever the gender of this person may be. This can become a habit and everyone starts to except it to happen that way. Through no one's fault, What can Mums do? Sometimes women’s better practice at childcare is called ‘gatekeeping’, and meaning that sometimes women think they know better. I can easily imagine my grandmother chastising a man for changing a nappy, but I certainly never would. Sometimes our child doesn't wee if Dad takes them. I suggested he just kept trying to bring the child to the toilet, calling me in if needed. This worked. Other potty training trainers suggest to mothers: At the right moment, pretend you just need to go and do something, and ask Dad to hold the baby 'like this', then be grateful. Help if asked. If Dad is not interested, either explain the practical benefits, or just get on with it by yourself and wait for him to come on board. Why should Dads care? Children know if one parent is more keen on potty training than the other. By supporting one another with toilet training, parents present a united front to the baby, with a message that they will be listened to. Working together will help save nappies and money. It is important that babies do not grow up with a sense of shame around their body parts and bodily functions. This will help with their self-esteem and safeguarding. Therefore, it is a good idea if both parents feel comfortable and normal changing nappies, and speak openly and frankly about it,. Nappy changes, and indeed, all time spent with a baby are a chance for connection. What can Dads do? If your partner is a woman who gave birth recently, then she may find it hard to get out of bed for reasons such as injury and tiredness. In fact, she definitely will. Dads can really help by taking responsibility for nappy changes and potty training and other household chores. Potty training is one of the ways for Dads to bond with their babies. Dads could also take responsibility for elimination communication study during pregnancy. Dads also have a unique advantage in teaching boys to wee standing up. Here's another fun thing to help with: I remember a time when Baby was unwell and the smell made me gag, so I asked Daddy to help me emptying the bucket. Links Bringing Partnership Home: A Model of Family Transformation Partnership Cultures: Beginning at the Beginning through Parenting

Photo by Lois Lee

Timetable toilet trips into your day

Get Started Summary: A ‘psss’ sound can be used when you hold you baby. Babies can learn to expect to go to the toilet at certain points during the day. Adding toilet trips into your routine can make it easier to remember. Offer ‘pottytunities’ (as they are known): after naps, when arriving and leaving places and before and after events such as meals. Babies wee more in the morning. Childcare settings can add ‘pottytunities’ into their nappy change routine. Activity: Chose which routines you will follow and remember to stick to them. Think what would fit best in your family lifestyle or childcare setting. Get other adults on board. Think about how you know when your baby wants to eat or sleep- could their toilet signals be similar?

Use a cue sound Cue: Make a 'psss' wee sound to let baby know it is time to go. Now that my child is older this isn't usually necessary, but I still use it if we wait a while. Some people say the cue is a bad idea, and some people say it is a good idea. Everything in childcare is contentious.

Photo by Lois Lee

Plan a routine- with info video

https://youtu.be/wNw5iXsRZ5E

I first read that the best routine is to give baby a wee after a feed. I wasn't sure how this would work, since at the time life was just one long feed, where each feed started and ended with another feed. When I found out you can start off with a wee after a nap as well it was a revelation. Here are the routines we introduced: When changing the nappy (even if the nappy is wet Baby is likely to have held some of the wee) After a sleep ('natural timing’). When little, we had to rush straight to the toilet. Now baby likes time to come round and have a little feed. On arriving and leaving a place (transition) When out and we happen to be near a toilet Before and after the bath After a feed (baby had a phase of wanting to feed on the toilet, and currently still finds it easier to concentrate there when out) Before and after a meal On the hour/ half hour if it's been a while since they asked Convenient moment between busy things or the need to sit still When I need to go myself Baby is now 2 and we don't need to bother with most of these. They wee every couple of hours. Edit: Now aged 3 they go between about 2 and 5 times a day.

Manage morning movements Morning routine In the morning more potty opportunities were needed. When Baby was younger, they would lie on the changing mat beside the radiator. I would moved them on and off the bucket, as they kicked their legs and ate their toes. Later, on waking, I might have given Baby a wee, stood them up, and then offered them another wee straight away. Or have a wee myself in between their two wees. They would need another one at least before breakfast, but can now wait longer. Now that Baby is 3 they can faff around for a while in the morning before going to the toilet. I try to get them to go to the toilet before we leave the flat, but they don’t always do that.

Schedule potty breaks in a childcare setting EC children are taken to the toilet at transitional times, such as before and after naps, meals or going outside. In my experience, mass nappy changes often happened at these times anyway (even if it is not official policy), and the potty can be added into the nappy change routine of the setting. The key worker could also offer breaks in-between every hour or 20 to 30 minutes, depending on the individual. Scheduled and reliable potty breaks help children to remember to go to the toilet. Routine helps children feel comfortable as they know what is going to happen. The predictability of a nursery routine may even mean children are trained at daycare before they are trained at home. Apparently, the peer influence when everyone follows the same routine is a good motivator.

Photo by Lois Lee

Hold your new baby confidently

Summary and Activity Summary: Holding a baby by their thighs so as they fold helps induce them to ‘eliminate’. Learn how to do it before you start. Some people teach a ‘chest slap’ sign language as a way for babies to communicate with them. This could be useful in childcare. Activity: If you have a suitable doll, practice the hold to develop muscle memory. Practice dressing and undressing the doll. Otherwise, just mime and imagine the baby there to get used to the idea. At first, I found it difficult to remember how to hold my baby, and I was frightened of dropping them.

Practice the ‘EC’ Squeeze- with demo video and picture to print Photo y Davie

https://youtu.be/FvyjUP7g1qg

You can use this hold for all age, but is is especially good for newborns, as their back and head rest on you. When you hold the baby by the thighs it causes them to fold at the hips. This pushes out the wee and poo. It’s a bit like doing yoga and farting… Initially, I found it hard to remember the instructions about how to hold a baby, and not to imagine dropping them down the toilet. Perhaps it would help to have a picture printed out when you start. Images and videos for how to hold a baby can be found on the Born Ready website. Use any washing up basin, bucket, baby bath or container. Born Ready recommends teaching babies to sign when they want to go by slapping their shoulder. This didn’t catch on in our house. Baby Vegan is enthusiastic about actions in action songs, but not in general conversation. The system could work in childcare settings where people already use Makaton.

Practice Eat, Pee, Love- with demo video

https://youtu.be/caFDt1_he2Y Some people use this pose so as they can breastfeed (or bottle feed) their baby while the baby uses the potty. I don’t think I managed it, can’t and remember if I tried. I do remember sometimes finding breastfeeding advice assumed I had larger breasts. You could try a food container. There is a comparison chart of different types of potties in the shopping section of this course

Photo by Lois Lee

Try more ways to hold an older baby

Summary and Activity Summary: My baby likes to use a toilet seat, with or without steps up. Most children are happy to use potties, however, especially if the toilet is further to get to. You can hold the child with one of your arms under their arms, and pull elasticated trousers down with the other arm; or ask them to stand on the floor. Activity: Think about the layout of your home, and how easy it will be to reach somewhere to go to the toilet. What sorts of potties or toilet seats would work best? Practice holding your doll or imaginary baby on the toilet.

Practice the Seated Sprinkle- with demo video

https://youtu.be/nhzkbGH_PiE

I started to use this when we stayed in a house with an upstairs only. Baby did not want to sit on the potty, so I constructed a downstairs toilet. As baby became bigger it was easier on my arms to hold them like this. However, I did sometimes miss! Once, Baby and I stayed in a hostel with a toilet down the corridor. I put the Potette potty on a chair and held them there like a toilet at night. I also squatted over it myself to wee at night, as I didn’t want to leave Baby. There is a comparison chart of different types of potties in the shopping section of this course.

Use a big grown-up toilet seat- with demo video

https://youtu.be/zV0hY8CcYcU From four months old, Baby decided they had outgrown the bucket, and started to use the toilet. Later on we used the bucket at night and toilet in the day. We had always let baby see us go to the toilet, so as they know it is a normal thing. I sat on a stool and held Baby. For a long while we had a habit of feeding on the toilet, since my boobs were near their face (my baby was breastfed, but I understand others are not). This was handy when we just got into the house, and Baby wanted a feed and a wee all at once. If baby’s legs are parted, then wee is less likely to spray the wrong way. Some toilet seats have a rim to catch wee, but it would be less easy to see what is happening. Without a rim it may be easier to use the seat yourself- I can never be bothered to move it.

Use a climbing frame toilet- with demo video

https://youtu.be/k7qfR2XHZ0k NEW ARRANGEMENT FOR TOO BIG TOILET Baby (now 2) can sit on this seat on their own to have a poo, and then get down to fetch me. They have carried it around the house like zimmer frame, and used it to climb the coffee table, and sit on the seat like a chair. There is a comparison chart of different types of potties in the shopping section of this course. Edit: We moved into a flat with a very high toilet which does not fit the steps; and so I put two stools in front of the toilet as steps.

Photo by Lois Lee

Know how to go, when away from home

Summary and Activity Summary: It is possible, but a bit awkward to wee in a rainsuit. Radar keys open public toilets where the baby changing unit is in a locked accessible toilet. A folding potty/ seat and changing mat come in handy. But you have to get used to changing and wiping on your lap as most toilets are small and dirty. A potty with a lid is good for nursery. Parents should settle children and work together with nursery staff. Activity: Think about how you will pack what you need to leave the house. Keep it all ready near the door. Do you plan to use childcare in the future? If so, would you want your child to get used to using a potty which is suitable. If you are a childcare worker, consider adaptations for your setting, and information for parents.

Know what to do when weeing in the rain suitwith demo video

https://youtu.be/Kb7JrY35vVI Rain suits are handy for toddlers who are prone to falling over in puddles. They stop water going up shirts when on outings or in the garden However, it is not so easy to have a wee. I was very pleased when I realised it was possible to unzip the rainsuit without taking Baby’s legs out and shoes off. To do this, I would squat with Baby lying across my knees. Now that Baby is more stable, they mostly wear waterproof trousers, but still wear overalls sometimes.

Wee and poo on the move- with demo video

https://youtu.be/AkR_LqxG4P0

I had not planned to bring my baby to the toilet outside the home, in the same way I didn't exactly plan to toilet train them at all. However, nature called, and they called, and I had to. The first time was in a cafe toilet with no changing table, down some steep steps. I was pretty frightened. My EC Baby needed to go to the toilet quite frequently! When out, whenever I was near a public toilet I would bring them. I started to have my favourites; Coal Drops Yard in Kings Cross was a convenient stop off. Radar keys: I found out that baby changing units are often kept locked in accessible toilets. This was the case in most train stations and some shops. You were supposed to ask someone to open the toilet for you, but there often wasn’t anyone. So I bought a key to access the accessible toilets when they were inaccessible. Buggies can be handy to use as a changing table or place to put a potty. They fit into accessible toilets if your near one, or can be used when it’s muddy outside. It is handy to have a folding toilet seat/ potty contraption, and a folding changing mat. You will often need to lie baby on your lap to change and wipe them, since toilets tend to be small. There is a comparison chart of different types of potties in the shopping section of this course. Folding changing mat Skip Hot at Bebemoda, Frugi or Not on the High Street. More folding travel stuff.

Adapt childcare baby rooms with no toilets Adapting a baby room in a nursery There should always be a potty or toilet available and near. If at nursery, parents may like to offer (a new one of) the same potty they use at home. Baby rooms do not usually have toilets to empty potties in. Parents on the ec Facebook group brought a My Carry Potty with a tight lid to nursery. This means the potty does not need to be emptied until it is convenient, or until the parent brings the potty home to clean. Another option is to place a nappy inside the potty, and then treat this like any other nappy. Or use a Potette Plus biodegradable liner. Equipment Toilets, and the rest of a nursery premises should have flooring surfaces which are easy to clean. The toilets should be the right height for the children, and the paper should be within in their reach . The area could also have toys, and staff can sing songs and play games in the same way they might when changing nappies. Make it fun. There is a comparison chart of different types of potties in the shopping section of this course. Here are some I have seen recommended for nursery. Folding potty/ insert/ seat Potette: Uber Kids, Boots OK Baby: Uber Kids Potty with leak-proof lid My Carry Potty: Uber Kids, Boots, John Lewis

Consider the parent's role in a childcare service Working with parents Caregivers should work with parents to make EC practice as consistent with home as is possible. Parents should help the child to learn who and how to ask. Parents should give demonstrations themselves of how they take the child to the toilet and explain the child’s patterns and signals. Parents should take the child to the toilet themselves when they arrive and before they leave. This way parents can take some weights off the caregivers, settle the child, and learn about the toilet facilities and check the child feels comfortable. Ask parents to provide several changes of easy to change clothes, cloth training pants. Ideally, there should be enough time in a child’s day to poo at home, as they may feel more comfortable about this than at nursery.

Photo by Lois Lee

Know when your baby is going to go

Summary and Activity Summary: Tune into your baby to learn their individual signals. At first, it may be similar to how they behave when they would like a burp. Babies change their signals as their lifestyles change. Activity: Spend time with your baby and get to know them. Relax and enjoy yourselves. Something might happen, and you will think: ‘Oh! What does that mean?’ Perhaps Baby wants the toilet. At other times the thought may enter your head from nowhere ‘Baby might need the toilet now’. Bring them to find out. If you prefer to be scientific about things, then observe vigilantly and keep a record, perhaps with a nappy change recording app. Also try ‘nappy free time’. If you are a childcarer, then think about potty sign language to introduce in your setting.

Spot little baby signs- with info video

https://youtu.be/5n2IpBORsc0 https://youtu.be/GXJEZh-NES8

You learn to tell when your baby wants a sleep, feed or burp. In the same way, you can learn to recognise when they want to go to the toilet. Many people begin potty training at birth. I was not able, and also feel that feeding is more important to learn. Wee signs Acting like they need a burp Coming on and off the nipple Unexplained discomfort Staring at me Making a recognisable sound Poo signs Look of concentration or seriousness

Spot bigger baby wee signs- with info video

https://youtu.be/-RBaMFZ8TPE

From time to time, baby changes the behaviour they have which show me they need to use the toilet, as kindly way to ensure I can't become bored. Baby wee signs Lies down Leg wave and quiver Tries to escape from buggy/ carrier Comes over for milk and goes away again Pulling at my trousers Pulling at their trousers Taps me Gets self out of bed Hovers by the door (may get distracted on the way) Hovers by the toilet (for a while they hovered near cosy places for milk or the table for food too) Toddler wee signs Wanders around looking for the exit in a new place Leads me by the finger Points Says wee (pee may have been and easier word to say, but it's too late to change now) Buy does not always say wee Awkward expression Insists they absolutely do not need a wee

Spot bigger baby poo signs- with info video

https://youtu.be/P2ovBRLiekc

Photo by Lois Lee

Respond when baby says no

Summary and Activity Summary: Keep calm. When baby was younger a boob helped (or bottle if you use bottles), then a mirror, now changing position, or waiting until later. Baby usually does want to go, they might be flapping because they are impatient. It is similar to when we try to leave the house. When baby’s development, environment or signals change it takes time to readjust and make new signals Sometimes you or baby are tired or distracted, and that is OK. Activity: Remember that babies have lots of ways to express how they feel, and it doesn’t always make sense to us adults. Persevere and try your best to be patient. Experiment with different ways of doing things and see how your baby responds.

Respond when babies don’t want to go- with demo video

https://youtu.be/HDJzIkTZd6E

Sometimes Baby isn't into it. At these times it is more common that they do need to go than that they don't. They sometimes get in a flap while waiting to be brought, as can be the case the leaving the house or getting milk. Here are some things I do to address this: Offer a boob (or bottle) Go myself to set an example Change the position, ie toilet seat reducer or ec hold Hold over a sink in front of a distracting mirror Give up and suggest a nap instead Accept that I misinterpreted the situation If Baby struggles with a poo, the ec hold can be good to squeeze it out, or a tummy rub. Leaning forward or squatting is good for everyone. For a while, poos were stressful for our baby, so I would leave them to go in the nappy or the bath at their convenience. The bath has become Baby's preferred poo place. It is a relaxing place squat or stand in warmth and comfort, and with ducks to play with. If going on the toilet, they sometimes want to hold my hands or the seat.

Persevere through potty pause phases- with info video

https://youtu.be/5kXUKoDwqb0

Some days one or other of us is tired, or has sore teeth, or there is too much going on, and Baby and I fall out of sync. There have also been longer phases when we stopped understanding one another due to a developmental or lifestyle change. There was another phase where Baby only wanted me to take them to the toilet, and would simply not go if someone else tried. They may have even sat there giggling. These phases are known as ‘potty pauses’. One reason we have been told to delay toilet training is that parents can become disappointed by these pauses. Perhaps we should be told to expect pauses instead, and how to respond to them. When Baby is having fun they would rather not think about stopping to go to the toilet. When Baby learnt to crawl they were very busy and found it hard to multitask. I had to learn to spot the signs without being in physical contact with them, as I had been before. Other phases occurred were when baby started eating, and when we moved house. As they have grown up, Baby has had more things to say and I sometimes misinterpret the signal as asking for something else. There have been times when it was not clear if Baby or a teddy needed the toilet. Recently, I’ve got into a habit of just forgetting Baby has bowel movements, since they became less frequent.

Photo by Lois Lee

Change nappies calmly

Summary and Activity Summary: Change nappies regularly to prevent nappy rash. Wipe front to back and all around. Changing on the floor is safer and more fun. New babies do not like nappy changes. We tried to make the changing mat warmer. Mobile babies can be changed without a mat, while standing. Pants are easier to change than nappies on mobile babies. Activity: Set up a convenient nappy changing area. Think about how you keep yourself clean- women wipe from front to back and men don’t want poo in their balls. The same applies to babies. Try new approaches as your baby grows and develops and runs away from you.

Practice nappy changes- with demo video

https://youtu.be/IRALLikL0bU

Read the NHS instructions for changing a nappy and preventing nappy rash. Be thorough, use natural products, and don’t wipe poo into a girl’s vagina, if that wasn’t obvious.

Lessen the tears 1- with image video

https://youtu.be/nyJWiwHrWZg

Make the mat less cold Add a soft surface such as kitchen roll or a towel to the changing mat. Warm this and the wipes with a hot water bottle or heat pad between night changes! One weary night we unearthed a startling reality; finally cottoning on that wipes and changing mats are cold. This (but mainly being put down) made Baby cry. It also transpired that the liquid we found on Baby’s face was not the result of a leaky ceiling; but rather Baby's own urine, which was released when the chilled air hit. Obviously, we decided to convert the changing mat into a luxury spa resort, so that Baby need never suffer again. Our natural nappy treatment area is designed to ease the emotional strain of baby ablutions, and rejuvenate tired parents- because what family member doesn't like a good pampering? The changing mat become a favourite place for Baby to kick and roll around on... before they got bored of it again. Reassure I talk about what I am doing as I go along, or sing. Another adult can hold Baby's hands or feet, or put a finger in their mouth. You can also have Baby's favourite song to hand to play (Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac), or apparently some white noise works. Change nappies on a person It is possible to use another parent as a changing mat. Catch them as they try to go back to bed. Baby can lie on the parent, and think they are being cuddled. You will learn to change nappies and wipe bums on your lap when out.

Lessen the tears 2 with image video

https://youtu.be/cGKo-KE5kjE Keep the changing mat on the floor This way Baby can roll around and practice crawling without the danger of falling. I later learnt to dress Baby in many different wriggly positions. We never bought a changing unit. Have a toy Something we talked about, but never got around to, was investing in a mobile. Later, Baby was happy grabbing whatever stuff was in reach. This is only a problem when that is a bucket of wee or dirty nappy. As a distraction, I provided some bricks. Make it a game at home or nursery In nursery, children can get used to the toilet area by having their nappies changed there even if they are not toilet training. They can also play using the facilities at nappy changes. Older children can be involved in the nappy changing process by being asked to fetch their own nappies and wipes. Have potty picture books available in the book corner to normalise the idea, and activities about hand washing. Splash mat I used the bed pad I was advised to buy when pregnant. You could also use a tarpaulin or plastic table cloth. If you are extra sensible, you will already have a wipe clean floor.

Change a crawling baby's nappy- with demo video

https://youtu.be/tDFhHWZv6gY Pants After investing so much time and effort in the changing area, we got rid of it. This is often the way with baby things. I found it easier to put pants than nappies on my crawling child while they made their escape. We started to use Grovia My Way padded training pants. I think Baby was nine months when we got them, but they would have fitted earlier, and I wish I got them earlier! They just stopped wearing them now that they are two and our neighbours gave us some others. You can get a bigger size of stretchy side panels, and the pants have poppers to undo when there is a poo. There are other types of pants, but these are the ones I chose. Water At times, you may find it easier to clean baby in the sink or bath. Once, we had a shower together, when we were both covered in poo. Baby later decided they didn’t like showers/

Adapt your bathroom setup- image video

https://youtu.be/dcbjb4z8lts This is what our bathroom looked like.

Change a standing baby's nappy- with demo video

https://youtu.be/cW-TUOFJetI I would ask Baby to lean on something, such as me, while I pulled their pants up. I alter learnt that this is a Montessori technique, and you can read detailed instructions. They state the following arguments: that standing suits toddlers who feel they have outgrown lying down, and want to see what is going on and learn about the pants pulling process, they can also keep their shoes on, and they maintain some bodily autonomy, which is an important lesson. They suggest (when using a nappy) that you hold the bottom of the nappy with one hand, undo the tabs with the other, and pull it out backwards, wiping a bit as you go.

Photo by Lois Lee

Buy nappies (diapers)

Summary and Activity Summary: Cloth nappies are better for the environment. Cloth nappies are also more work than eco disposable nappies, and need washing and drying space. Eco disposable nappies aren't really that eco, but they are convenient. We started out with eco disposables and moved onto cloth padded pants. Activity: Find out about local nappy schemes

Choose biodegradable nappies for newborns (and we used them at night) Ethics Disposable nappies cost around £500 per year. All organic waste in landfill biodegrades anaerobically (without oxygen) and releases methane. This is a more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, which is released in aerobic (with oxygen( decomposition, as would take place in a compost heap. Normal plastic nappies take 500 years to biodegrade. They contain chemicals which form crystals when wet. They cannot be composted. Eco disposable nappies take 50 years to biodegrade, and so are better than standard nappies. They are never completely biodegradable. Apparently the best brands are: Bamboo Nature, Moltex, Nature Babycare and Tushies. Ethical Consumer recommend Bambo Nature and Naty. Disposal Do not put nappies in the recycling bin… unless you live in Wales, where nappies are recycled. There is a campaign to expand this across the UK. Do not put nappies in the council compost bin either. Only put them in your own compost if you have one and if they only contain wee… unless you live in the East Riding of Yorkshire, where an anaerobic digester is used to produce energy, and the council is asking for nappies to be put into green bins to feed it with. Shopping You can find vegan eco nappies and wipes at: Ethical Superstore, Boots, Natures Health Box, Planet Organic, and Big Green Smile, and sometimes find them discounted in Approved Food, Star Bargains, or Bargain Foods. We soon moved onto using toilet paper for minor incidents. Kitchen roll with water is also effective. When Baby was young we used biodegradable nappies. I observed friends who started out with cloth nappies and failed, and decided to give myself time. There are many ways to save plastic waste. It is often quoted that you need to use cloth nappies for toilet training, since baby will not know they have been. In our case baby made it quite clear, despite their disposable nappies. I am glad we used disposables at first, because I was in hospital for three nights. When we came home to our flat I had breast milk leaks and night sweats, which turned out to be a common thing. The nappies leaked and so Baby also had several daily costume changes. There wasn’t enough space on the airer or radiators to dry all the washing, and the flat could become damp. We didn’t have a garden, and anyway it was autumn. Furthermore, we were tired and wanted to spend our time feeding and cuddling, rather than washing again. We started to use the drying function on the washing machine, which isn’t very eco. As Ethical Consumer note, washing is mostly still done by women, who already carry out 60 hours unpaid work per week while on maternity leave. Even when both partners in a heterosexual couple are in full time employment, women are still more likely to spend more time on housework. We started off with Naty 'eco' biodegradable nappies. These worked for other people. However, for us they often leaked. We later used Beaming Baby, which could hold a night's worth of wee (but it was difficult to leave their mailing list). In retrospect, it probably relates to baby getting bigger and fitting better. Moving to reusables It is possible to combine different types of nappy. You do not need to be the flagbearer of either. Once you get through the first difficult bit of parenting you can start to use reusables. New babies poo on average four times per day, and need to have their nappies changed 10 to 12 times per day. This calms down in time, and you get more energy. At 6 weeks, babies who are exclusively breastfed start to poo about twice a week. We were shocked when this happened. In my experience, reusables held less wee. They could also be massive, and raised Baby's bum in the air when they were little. On the plus side, the Velcro washable nappies were quick to take on and off again, providing the liners were ready and to hand. Poppers took a while and come undone.

Chose vegan reusable nappies for babies Cheap nappies Some local councils in the UK offer real nappy vouchers. You can try before you buy with a nappy library. Look out for nearly new sales run by a local council or parent’s organisation (such as the NCT in the UK). Babies and children typically grow out of their clothes very quickly, so there is a lot of choice in second hand shops, try: Oxfam Online, Preloved, eBay, YoungPlanet, Mummybay, Olio, Gumtree, Depop , Freecycle + alternatives, Trash nothing, Local council and NCT nearly new clothes and nappy sales, Local Facebook groups or special interest, such as the Nappy Lady Buying and Selling group or Used Nappies. Padded Pants From some time when they were crawling, Baby mostly wore GroVia My Way padded pants (eBay). I chose these because they were smaller than other training pant options, are padded, and can be opened with poppers if there is a poo inside. For a while, we used the poppers to attach GroVia biodegradable liners using the poppers. I find pants much easier than a nappy to put on the fidget bum. Some people use flap nappies, but they fell off. Baby's bum is now big enough to wear normal pants, which they are pleased about. Grovia are made in what is described as an ethical factory in China from hemp and polyester. Oil based fabrics such as polyester can cause microplastic particles. I've read that Close Pop in Training Pants and Bright Bots Potty Trainers come out small, but do not have poppers. Ethics Reusable nappies can reduce your nappy carbon footprint by 40%. You can save £150 or £600, depending who you ask. Washing at 30C costs on average 15p for the cycle and 4p for the electricity. However, hotter temperatures, and tumble drying increase the cost and carbon footprint. Shopping Cloth nappies: Look better nowadays than when we were young, and no longer have pins. You can find nice picture guides to the different styles of nappy in Real Nappies for London or Changeworks. Vegans watchout- washable nappies do sometimes contain wool. You can find vegan reusable nappies and wipes at: Ethical Superstore, nappies at Rainbow Life, nappies and a folding changing mat at Frugi, nappies and a folding changing mat at Not on the High Street, and washable wipes at Wearth London. Tots Bots were awarded the Ethical Consumer Best Buy badge, and can be found in Ethical Superstore or Frugi. Ethical Consumer also recommend Cottontail. How many: We started out at about nine months with one pair of padded pants, then three, and eventually six, and eco disposables at night, and to top up with if needed. To begin with we used biodegradable liners. These are general estimates given for washing every 2 to 3 days. We find we do a wash every 2 days, but perhaps every 2 minutes at the start. Day nappies 12- 15. A newborn may need more, or you could start part- time with 6-8, washing daily. Night nappies 3- 5 Wraps 2-5

Wash cloth nappies Nappy soak or add to wash: Ethical Superstore, Natures Healthbox, or Big Green Smile. We soak our nappies in the bathroom sink, but you can get special buckets. I learnt from experience that it is important not to miss out this step… However, I’ve now just read that some people do not advise soaking. So perhaps just run them under the tap. Research the instructions for whichever nappy you choose. Scent- free laundry products and soap nuts: Natures Healthbox, Wearth London, Know the Origin and TheVeganKind. We put our nappies in the normal wash, but you’re supposed to wash poo separately at a higher temperature. My attempt at washing for 15 minutes didn’t have the results I wanted. Washing: Apparently, new nappies only become fully absorbent once washed two or three times. Flush poo down the loo, wipe a bit, and run the nappy under the tap, rubbing the sides together to remove the poo. My nappy soak pack tells me to 'sluice nappies in the WC', but I'm a bit wary of that. You can store dirty nappies in a bucket with a lid- but we never bothered as we didn't have many. A mesh bag inside the bucket means you can pick them all up together and put them straight into the wash- but we didn't know about this either. It is sometimes suggested that nappies are washed at 60 degrees C, but we just bunged them in with everything else on 20 or 30. Some people do a rinse cycle first. Now that we live in a cohousing project with a shared laundry we all wash at 60 to avoid cross contamination. We use our normal eco washing liquid from the refill in the community store room. Apparently you can use half the recommended amount of detergent, and fabric softener is not recommended.. not that I could be bothered anyway. Drying: Hang them from something, outside is nice if you have access. In the cohousing, each house has a drying rack on a pulley system suspended over the stairs. We also have some rungs along the landing at the top on the stairs. Along with the MVHR system, these make a fantastic indoor clothes drying system. Tumble driers cost more money and energy, and are said to shorten the nappy lifespan. . until they have been washed three times.

Photo by Lois Lee

Go shopping or swapping

Summary and Activity Summary: Zips are easier to do up than poppers or buttons. Not all nappy creams are vegan. Activity: See if there is a container in the house which could be used as a potty. Find out if you can get nappy vouchers or if there is a local nappy library, or local parent/ guardian group to swap things in. Buy easy-to-change clothes or ask a friend to give you some they no longer need.

Compare potty models Comparison chart

Wear clothes which are quick to change

https://youtu.be/6kosmXhhHcw Clothes which are quick to change Baby is now at an age where their legs are long enough for trousers to stay round their ankles when they use the toilet, so we use these. An elasticated waist is easier to pull up. However, for a long time, our baby only wore babygrows with two way zips. With our old poppery ones, we would just leave the poppers undone. We also don't want our baby to wear socks as they fall off. These things can make you look neglectful when in public. The Babygrow by Boody has a two- way zip, built-in feet, and fold over mittens. It is made from organic, bamboo and comes in neutral tones. The Wondersuit by Bonds at John Lewis has a two- way zip, and fold over openable feet and mittens. They can be neutral or gendered in colour. The company ha an ethical statement. John Lewis also have various other organic baby sleepsuits with zips, as does Not on the High Street, and Etsy. Marks and Spencer have an own brand all in one baby suit with a zip. Toby Tiger have other organic things. Built-in socks meant we didn't lose socks, and in the Wondersuit they can be turned out for barefoot walking/ crawling practice. Wearing a full- body suit meant there was no tummy or ankle flesh flapping out making Baby Vegan cold. Baby also wears a zipped hoodie. The hood means we don't lose hats, and it doubled as reins or a sleep mask. The zip makes it easier to take on and off. Baby previously wore vests with less bottom poppers, and folds at the shoulders so as they can pull up or down more easily. Some people make split crotch trousers, or wear leggings with pants.

Avoid animal products in nappy cream- with info video

https://youtu.be/TZkCJ-uMR1I

https://www.livingwithwarmth.com/vegan-baby-products

Plastic free and veganise your baby bath time Shampoo bars for baby and you Our skin is absorant, and especially a baby's. It takes in what we put on it. This is why I prefer natural products; ones which could be eaten! Baby was born with very dry skin. Half the midwives told us we must put oil on them, and half told us we certainly must not. Contradictory medical advice was to become a theme of early parenthood. Perhaps it depends on the type of oil. I was lucky to be gifted an organic massage oil, which made Baby coo. A very new Baby's skin is too sensitive for baths. Our initial bath attempt resulted in tears, and we put it off for a bit longer. The problem was that we had followed the advice to bath baby in the evening, which was their unimpressed time of day. We learnt that it is best to constantly adapt routines around Baby's feedback, rather than what a book says. Sharing baths has been fun for Baby Vegan and I. We started out with very quick dips in the baby bath, and then progressed to me holding baby in the big bath. They would want to get out pretty quickly, and sometimes there was a kerfuffle with drying. I would often let the water out and dry us in the bath while feeding. Some people but special seats for babies to sit in, making it possible to wash yourself. Products are also not necessary at first. Baby did not eat food or have hair to get it in. Once it became possible to wash my hair together with Baby in the bath, they started to play with my shampoo. We now wash Baby's hair from time to time, with a flannel, (to try and get less in their eyes), when they allow it. https://www.livingwithwarmth.com/vegan-baby-products

Photo by Lois Lee

Make it work in childcare

Follow good practice

https://youtu.be/PPv8AUzkNDE EC suited childcare setting The way baby led potty training is incorporated into a setting depends on: the facilities you have, the expectations of parents, the baby’s development, and what nappies or pants they wear. Nurseries tend to keep track of down nappy change times, and a note could also be made of potty trips on the same form. This could help the differnet staff notice a pattern. Has a potty training policy- It is good practice for a setting to have a potty-training policy, which covers: ‘when to start potty training, how to use praise and recognition effectively and a structured plan for potty training’. This can be based on a template with baby toilet training added into it. Staff should be trained in how to potty train and the importance of children drinking enough water. The potty procedure would have similar hygiene requirements to a nappy change procedure.

Be a Key Person Key Person system Many nurseries now have a key worker system, with key workers responsible for duties such as nappy changing. Since every child is different, it takes time to focus on how they communicate. EC works best when there is one person, the key person, with main responsibility for learning and watching for a child’s signals that they need the toilet. Where there is no key person, then a person who the child has an affinity with can take responsibility. The key person would pay special attention to learning the child’s signals for the first week or two, as well as gaining the child’s trust. It may be easier to a nanny or childminder to offer this level of care. From the child’s angle, they need to feel comfortable about asking to go to the toilet, and being with the person who brings them. Children may not respond to multiple people. They may associate going to the toilet with a certain person, which makes them only able to go , or feel safer going with this person. Or, it would simply take the thinking out of who to ask when in a rush. My child, for example, always asks me, even if their Dad is there.

Meet UK National Standards Relevant UK National Standards National Standard 3: Care Learning and Play “Required a regulated person to meet children’s individual needs and promote their welfare’. A parent could request a continuation of the home practice. National Standard 7: Promote the good health of children. A parent could request their child does not sit in their own waste for long periods of time. National Standard 9: Childcare providers also have a duty to provide each child with equal opportunities National Standard 12: Working in partnership with parents and carers- parents and carers work together to consider the best ways to provide a continuation of care support parent’s decisions. Annex A: Babies and children under 2 years of age. Point A.4 Food and drink. ‘Feeding and nappy changes take place in accordance with the child’s individual needs and not as part of the childminder’s routine.’ EYFS Physical Development-30-50 months, ‘can usually manage washing and drying hands’ and ‘… can attend to toileting need most of the time themselves’. The Early Learning Goal in this area states that children should ‘… manage their own basic hygiene and personal needs successfully, including dressing and going to the toilet independently’

Photo by Lois Lee

Review

True or False? Babies love to sit in poo. All babies must learn to communicate in the expected way and develop in the expected timeframe. Babies change their signals as they grow up. You must discipline a baby who cries. Attention seeking behaviour must be stamped out. Before and after a nap are good times to offer the potty. After a meal is a good time to offer the potty. All babies should be able to sit alone on a potty. When a baby behaves differently to expected, experiment with a different technique to see if they prefer it. Phases where a baby stops asking to use the potty are a sign of parental failure. Speak about going to the toilet and your baby's body parts

Any questions? After you have read and watched the course materials, you are welcome to ask any further questions you have in a comment here. What have you learnt? Name three things you remember from this course.

How are you getting on? Let us know if you have put what you learnt into practice, and and tips you would like to share.