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CONTRIBUTORS Editor at large:

Editor in chief Sub- editor

Paul Tierney

Kelly Morgans. Francesca White.


Carina Steen.

creative assistant

Nathan gilbert Carina steen francesca white


Robert Twaddle Ellie Hoath Ethan lowe

Jules Reitan.

Art director

Fashion Director


Alicia Slym. Courtney Elliot.


BLA BLA. The white noise of social, political and cultural trends surrounds us.

. News and facts from different channels influence us every


second of every day, and we receive new information without even looking for it. BLA BLA. But do we really understand everything we see and hear or is it all just nonsense? BLA BLA. We live in a world where we are told everything is possible; even a pig can become the president of the US.



Born out of disgust for the values of social, political and cultural values of the time,

BLA BLA is all about gathering


all this nonsense and presenting it in a modern manner. This is . the new normal. BLA BLA. We’re anti-commercial and we’re not meant to make much sense. BLA BLA. Going against traditional norms, we’re all about promoting open mindedness. ordinary.

BLA BLA. We’re showcasing creatives that are everything but


The magazine aims to be random and find humour

BLA BLA. We don’t

in the midst of seriousness and controversial topics. want you to take us too seriously, we are really just a lot of


Whilst many people like to imply that fashion isn’t an important industry and often question why it’s taken so seriously by some, fashion is one of the most imperative ways that people express themselves, and in turn, their feelings and reactions to the world. This comes to explain the use of protesting within fashion, whether it’s outside of a fashion show or depicted on the actual clothing, protests take many


Westwood an advocate of the Green party and has therefore used her platform to consistently spread her message about climate change and environmental issues, even stating that climate change is now her priority over fashion. Over the past few years she has worked with PETA in a campaign video to promote the positives of being vegetarian in relation to the environment. Alongside this, with her own label she has created many collections to support her cause including ethical fashion operation to help empower the workers of Nairobi, her climate revolution campaign and her plans to decrease her collections and focus on ‘quality over quantity’.

hether they’re peaceful or not, groups of people have been expressing their thoughts and grievances through protests since the early 16th century and protesting has become something extremely common and something that fashion lovers and haters take part in.

hydraulic fracking. Westwood was part of a campaign in 2015 titled ‘Merry fracking Christmas Mr. Cameron’ but proceeded again in February this year when she modelled in a new protest against the multinational chemical company Ineos at age 76. The protest took place at the Gran Caffe in London close to the companies head quarters. Posters read “Frack off Ineos” and all the models’ tees read ‘Fracking Climate Chaos/ Ineos’.

14 However, some issues go further than fashion itself. Some designers bring their political views into their clothes. And whilst you may have been sick of hearing and reading about Brexit a few hours after it all kicked off, Katharine Hamnett aired her views the way she always has. Her “Cancel Brexit” t- shirts are one of the most famous forms of a political protest within fashion. Katharine Hamnett is someone who since the 80s has used her clothes to say fuck you to politics and even smuggled one of her political tees into 10 Downing Street when she met Margaret Thatcher in 1984. It read “58% don’t want perishing” referencing U.S Pershing missiles being stationed in Britain; it was said to make the Prime Minister let out a ‘shriek of horror’. Slogan tees have also proven popular in protesting with the ever controversial Vivienne Westwood using them to continue her protests of

However, she is now collaborating with Levis and running a competition for university fashion students to create something sustainable and ethical, proving that her efforts are still very much ongoing.


and can definitely change their behaviour. She was criticised online by Mimi Bekhechi (director of programmes at PETA) who said “… people are rightly gobsmacked to see any label send a mountain of corpses down it’s catwalk”.

So, whilst fashion doth protest too much, it’s clearly for good reason.

different forms. However, from marches to simply trending on social media; they all seem to be having a huge impact on the industry.

After continuous protesting over the use of fur in the fashion industry, more and more designers are having to respond. Gucci became the most recent brand to promise to give up the use of real fur, and whilst they claimed it was because real fur is no longer “modern”, it can’t have been best for businesscin with hundreds of angry fur activists covered in fake blood stood outside of Gucci stores.

Someone who made countless fur coats during his time at Gucci, Tom Ford revealed in February that he has been vegan for over a year now and revealed that he is now very “conflicted about fur”. A WWD event shook him when a fur activist walked up to him and poured tomato juice (often used to symbolise the blood of animals) all over him, he described it as “one of the most violent, frightening things that has ever happened to me”.

During the recent Milan fashion week, Kendall Jenner, who is now the world’s highest paid model, sparked outrage online for wearing a fur coat. This kind of protesting has a huge effect on people



FASHION WEEK CLICHÉ A s fashion week commences the weeks/ days leading up to it are long and tiring for everyone including the team behind the designer. It’s such a cliché that a team works endless amounts of hours to create a ‘spectacular’ catwalk show for bloggers and press to be in awe about. In the week of London Fashion Week, the bloggers walk Regent Street posing in the middle of the strip capturing photos for their Instagram’s and blogs just to show that they’ve attended LFW. It’s this big idea that fashion week is an event you attend to prove your famous enough to be there to later upload photos of yourself on to social media. The idea behind a fashion show is to showcase the brand and the designer’s collection with a clear sight of their inspiration. What we really forget is the team behind the designer that in reality actually do more of the work then the designer themselves, but you don’t see them getting any praise from the media. The brains behind the designer are indeed working overtime, the PR team, the production team


and even the office managers are running around all over London to ensure that the show runs smoothly for at max an hour.

Designers flaunt around the venue where their show is being held asking for their food and ‘posh’ coffee from Pret a Manager. While everyone else runs about after them trying to ensure that they are happy. What doesn’t get seen is everyone who works behind the scenes even the interns that complete little tasks to help keep the show on track. People are so hung up on praising the designer that they forget about everyone else helping. The designer is more than likely to be all ‘hands on’ but it’s down to the design team that spend the long hours at the office making it right for them to finalise the design for a Monday morning in response getting a one-word answer from them, yes or no.

The day of the show means even more running about from the unappreciated team. The hours before the show are busy, making sure everyone is briefed and put in the right place and more coffee and food runs. It happens in such a ‘smooth’ sequence… not really everyone is running around like a headless chicken trying to sort everything out. The walking coat

hangers with no personality arrive first (the models) who are more than likely the most valued people to the media at fashion week. The press start arriving next meaning photographers get the chance to take endless amounts of photos and later throw hissy fits if they aren’t able to take more photos of the models backstage to edit and upload online. When the photographers are finished fighting for pictures the venue starts to fill with guests, probably the most civilised people at fashion week! Bloggers, fashion editors from all over the world, family or even university students enter. It’s all about getting as many people to see the show as possible. Let the Instagram’s begin!! The music starts and the show or the presentation goes on for an hour or two with the models just standing there and the front of house team are busy checking everyone in and greeting them. Is fashion week all it’s made out to be though? A team spends roughly six months planning their collection and the set design for it to all be over in two hours. A team runs around for hours on end the week before fashion week and yet there is still no appreciation to them. Only a small applause for the models and celebratory cheers from the guests to congratulate the designer.


The (non) Essential Trends for Spring BY Jules Reitan


h, spring. That time of the year when everyone panics about cleaning out their whole house as if the Queen was coming to visit, and an excellent excuse to purchase a new fashion statement to fill in that gap from getting rid of your heavy winter wardrobe. Either it is a new fashion statement, something making your everyday life easier, or just something you really need, there is a fashion designer out there who is trying to cover the needs you did not know you had. Nothing screams spring more than a box fresh, bright coloured pair of shoes. Bubble-gum pink or toast brown platform plastic shoes with childish appliques on the top, was reintroduced by Balenciaga in February, and will definitely be making a statement this season. Able to make both a car mat and an Ikea bag into fashion statements, Balenciaga’s reinvention of the crocs sold out long before they even arrived the stores, at a price of 600 pounds. The ugliest shoes ever are apparently something you should add to your wardrobe? Make sure to be on the lookout for the next drop if you want to look as cool as a 2007 fifth grader. An 80´s breeze have been whooshing around for a couple of seasons now and does not seem to be blown away that easily, with brands such as Alexander Wang, Marc


Jacobs and Ashley Williams holding on to the past for their latest AW18 shows. Again, Balenciaga is also throwing themselves on the 80´s train, with a revival of the scrunchie. Introduced in leather of various neon colours, the renewed sponsor of palm tree ponytails of the 80’s can be bought for nothing less than 145 pounds each. Instead of buying 100 elastic bands, which you never misplace everywhere anyway, you can get one extremely luxurious one for the same price. Plus, it can even be worn on your wrist as a bracelet, talk about a great investment. Even though we are moving towards a sunnier time, the occasional rainy days are bound to happen. However, introducing the umbrella hat to our vocabulary for their men’s AW18 show, Fendi is making sure we don’t have to worry about a little rain. On the contrary, you would actually want it to be pouring down, because you don’t want to be looking stupid while wearing this hat. The logo covered shelter will make your life easier, because you will feel like you suddenly have three hands; The hand that would usually hold the umbrella can now be used to carry a bag while the other hand is free to take selfies of how great you look in your new not-at-all-ridiculous hat. Hurry (or not) before there is no longer any chance of getting a hold of these necessities. Flaunting a fashion statement is significant to get into the springtime mood, but be cautious, because you don’t want to end up looking silly or something.

In the light of the new season springing upon us, we have gathered a few fashion items you definitely do not need to make room for in your closet, unless you are dying for more room in your wallet.

The Influence Project: Winnie-the-Pooh: Exploring a Classic Victoria and Albert Museum, Cromwell Road, London, SW7 2RL Entry: £8.00 If you, like us, love to walk down memory lane and remember the great golden days of being a child, you should take a trip to South Kensington and visit the tear-worthy exhibition of Winnie-the-Pooh. Located in gallery 38, the exhibition includes sketches, letters, cartoons, photographs, fashion and ceramics Surrealism in Egypt: Tate Liverpool, Albert Dock, Liverpool, L3 488 of the much-loved bear. It’s definitely worth a visit; £10 just try not to act too childish. This exhibition is the first for the Art and Liberty Group. Whilst surrealists might be Exhibition open until Sunday, 8th April 2018 widely associated with the art of Europeans, this exhibition breaks new ground to reveal the wider geographical bases of the movement to offer an expanded view of art history. Shape of Light: The exhibition features several paintings, 100 years of Photography and Abstract Art photographs and archival documents, most of Tate Modern, Bankside, London SE1 9TG which will be shown for the first time in the UK. Entry: £15.00 The birth of abstract art and the invention Exhibition open until 18th March 2018 of photography were both defining moments in modern visual culture, but the two stories are often told separately. This exhibition spans from the 1910s to the present day and Chris Orr RA: The Miserable brings to life the innovations and originality Lives of Fabulous Artists of photographers over this period. The Royal Academy of Arts London movement’s key pioneers include: Man Ray Free Entry and Alfred Stieglitz and exciting new works The Royal Academy of Arts showcases from Anthony Cairns and Maya Rochet, made ‘Academicians in Focus’, this time presenting especially for Tate Modern. the unique new works on paper by Chris Orr RA. His pieces comprise some of art history’s Exhibition open until 14th October 2018 greatest names, everyone from Vincent Van Gogh and Frida Kahlo to Pablo Picasso and Edward Hopper. Represented using Orr’s humorous visual language, where each artist is portrayed in a scenario that combines truthful and mythical elements with extraordinary attention to detail, this is not one to miss. Exhibition open until 9th August 2018

Somerset House Free Entry This exhibition features never-seen-before photographic portraits of pioneers of R&B, Funk, Soul, Afrobeat and Hip Hop. London based photographer Alexis Chaboala and producer Larayne Crawford have captured the characters of both icons and contemporary artists, from George Clinton, Shuggie Otis and Bill Withers to Mark Ronson and Laura Mvula. The Influence Project will investigate the connections between the established and the emerging pioneers, reaching across time to shape the sounds that we hear today. As well as details about the artists, there will be portraits accompanied by quotes. Exhibition open from 27th June to 22th August 2018.

Print! Tearing it up:

The Charles Russel Speechyles Terrace Room Series Somerset House Free Entry This exhibition is all about how independent British magazines are changing the world. At Somerset House, you can explore the history and impact of Britain’s colourful magazine scene. It charts the evolution of polemic and progressive print publications and celebrates the diverse industry of independent magazines. Here you will learn the history of the countries best known publications, including: Private Eye, The Face, BLAST, Spare Rib and D.I.Y Zines. Burying the belief that print is dead, the number of niche magazines is growing in Britain and this is an exhibition that’s worth the trip!


Exhibition open from 8th June to 22th August 2018


rends in what people are wearing have been around for centuries. What people wear has always been something so crucial in our society. It has been used to symbolise people’s status, wealth and job among many more modern things that fashion is now more known for. Trends are a quick fix for someone who doesn’t put too much time into their personal style or may not know what suits them. Even the word ‘trendy’ is something to be cringed at when it comes out of your 45 year- old mum’s mouth, so why is it still something that people feel they have to chase? Fashion trends are something that have always endlessly confused me. With trends being something that anyone can access, they’re so painfully impersonal and watered down that anyone who actually wants to express who they are through what they wear would have an extremely difficult time trying to find a trend that suits them or says anything about them. I’ve always thought that fashion relates to everyone, even if one may believe them-self to be entirely outside of the fashion industry and claim that they do not understand fashion. As it’s a basic law that everyone must cover their genitals with some sort of garment, fashion is something that appears in every persons everyday life so it surely, it should be all inclusive. Runway trends are often created for more of a spectacle and to create an atmosphere and a buzz around a designer rather than being something that Jane from Manchester could actually wear to Sainbury’s to do the weekly shop. Sheer fashion is an example of this which was something that was huge at last years Milan fashion week and has been popping up on brands’ websites ever since then. And whilst I’m not denying that the examples from Gucci, Fendi and Alberta Ferretti aren’t stunning, even if it was in the

FASHION WEAK: Trends are stupid, here’s why. BY Francesca White

price range of the average fashion lover, what’s the point in spending thousands of pounds and countless hours making something that no one can actually wear? Looking at the catwalk shows of brands like Comme Des Garcons prove to me that fashion is not held back by wearability and utility as is has previously been argued. Some designers use their clothes as nothing more than their outlet, without worrying about who is going to be wearing it and especially not being concerned with if the piece is going to be ‘on trend’. With the endless hours and effort that goes into designing a full collection and planning a full show, for it then to be slaughtered by Vogue for not being ‘in this season’ seems completely ridiculous to me. Whatever one person or fashion magazine may write, even if that one person is Suzy Menkes writing for Vogue, fashion goes beyond being ‘on trend’.

5 SHITTEST Trends:


Workwear has been a huge trend over the past few seasons and every designer seems to have had their say on the subject. Shoulder pads have evolved into the collections of Gareth Pugh, Gucci and Marc Jacobs but . Gareth Pugh’s fall 2018 ready- to- wear collection shows extreme oversized leopard print shoulder pads, who the fuck is heading off to the office wearing those?

71. SHEER FASHION: Whilst Attico and Missoni showed gleaming examples of this during last years runways, who wants to be nipple to the wind? The #freethenipple movement is important however, I’m not sure how I feel about anyone sporting a full length transparent gown down the highstreet, some things are better off left to the imagination.

8. ROPE BAG: Rushing out the door for work in your shoulder pads that you can’t reach your laptop in, throw your purse, keys and phone in your bag and hear them fall to the floor. Excellent start to the morning.

57. FLUFFY SHOES: These shoes may have all the qualities to be super comfy and cool, however, logistically they just

doesn’t make sense. Seeing people wearing Gucci fur sliders give me dog shit anxiety for them. The smell would be stuck in those £700 crepes for the rest of their miserable life.

5. THE (NOT SO) FRESH PRINTS: From the Dolce and Gabbana fruit collection to Bobby Abley’s S&M inspired Teletubbie collection (yes, you read that correctly), prints just sometimes miss the mark for actual real life. Although breezing through Sicily in a black and white movie might call for some fruit print, generally speaking, I’m not sure that there’s many other instances where someone would go to their wardrobe and pray that their banana print t shirt is clean.



’d never been much of an experimenter, well at least not until now… just recently I experimented more than the average experimenter, I was an EXPERIMENTERIST. The reason for my constant apprehension I was terrified. What if it just is because I’m a didn’t agree with me? What if it creature of habit, just didn’t really fit… I know what I like could possibly enjoy all of this? The sheer with my lifestyle and I know how I volume of it. My fingers become sticky as they and… with me? like it. But, as time stumbled under the thin-sheeted surface, as I Obviously there’s grows, you begin rooted around for the smallest one, I suddenly ways around this, it to realise that you became brave and picked the biggest. It was wasn’t going to kill too are growing me, but at moments fruitful to say the very least. with it, I’m getting it truly felt like it older and I ought My hands went clammy and my legs like jelly could. How was to probably widen as my taste buds tried to grasp the nature of this supposed to my horizons. I the unfamiliarity. It was the loss of control be considered so thought bugger natural when it just that panicked me, even if I did like it, I didn’t it, stop thinking want to admit, this was the one thing that felt so… wrong? about it, pop the kept me pure, an absolute quirk that I could cherry and just no long adhere to. As my lips locked do it… you might around the prickling really love it, you There was a great positive to being in solitude; exterior, I felt the might really begin I liked it when people shrieked in awe when sour juices spiral to crave it. I said I hadn’t, but now that I had, I felt more to the back of my adult for it. My childhood had gone, I felt the throat, although my It was always the transformation from girl to woman in that mind didn’t like it, taste, the textures, short, but sweet thirty seconds and boy, I my body needed the not knowing kinda liked it. it. The size of the that scared me, package concerned of course I was me, I mean who curious, but mostly




The rules and regulations of not giving a fuck. Taking life as it comes with Nosa Prince. The Prince of photography, as Nosa Prince may call himself has always had a strong interest in photography. The nineteen- year old originally from North West London studied in a state school like all of us, taking time in 2017 to focus on his work to enter university and follow a straight path. Studying Photography at UCA Farnham, Nosa has been given many opportunities since starting which has helped build his Instagram account with over 1,707 followers creating a popular social platform for himself. With small videos, the odd few personal pictures and of course his work from his recent Saatchi Gallery exhibition is all showcased online. Being the creative director he is, the launch of his new website is what he’s been teasing

everyone with after his success of his work being showcased in the Saatchi Gallery, London. With a strong drive to do more with his life Nosa looks to photography to help him with new arising opportunities. “At the moment photography means a lot to me because it gives me an opportunity to explore and portray my ideas towards viewers. I still have plenty ideas that I want to experiment with and combine photography with different types of art…” With this strong passion towards his work it has encouraged him “To work with different designers and gain access to a lot of private events.” With his strong love for photography Nosa was given an amazing opportunity at the age of just nineteen to have his work shown in the Saatchi Gallery which in most people’s eyes is an outstanding and a life time achievement. How did the opportunity arise to have it shown there? “Disclosed information”

the negative activities I used to indulge in.” Could this be drugs by any chance? With such a strong interest in his hobby, Nosa “strongly believes that everyone tries to be a photographer nowadays, [as] it’s easy to take good quality photos on smartphones. Props to innovation.” A technique that Nosa is intrigued in is looking to other creatives work that he isn’t particularly interested in but looking at it in a way that he can “manipulate their style towards my liking, when trying to figure out some pieces.” Going back to the idea that people nowadays have access to a variety of photos online and at art exhibitions which they can look at and change their view or interpret the techniques that other artists have used in photos. Living life in the moment with what seems to be having opportunities handed to him, Nosa only has one rule that applies to him. That being follow the rules of acting cool and not caring to create a whole different persona which is shown through his work. One question to ask would be, do you think you are pretty cool? “Ask my girlfriend :P.” Right. Anyway, the photos were shown on the second floor of the Saatchi Gallery. The title of the exhibition being ‘Musical Visualisation’ with a saved story on his Instagram page under the name ‘Saatchi ting’. Nosa explained his work being diverse “from street/candid photography” and “studio graphical type of photography.” which encourages him to “Tackle different elements/style of photography [which] is very important to me.” Someone who cares so much about photography is too laid back to even visit the Saatchi gallery to view his own photos, “only my family and friends have seen my work. I personally did not go to visit.” It’s always interesting to look inside people’s inspirations behind their work. Nosa produces intriguing content on Instagram, viewing his Instagram as a platform to promote his photography. Laying out his Instagram in “3, meaning that I usually post 3 photos at a time to relate to each other. Some rows I’ve chosen to post random photos of my personal life.” With clear inspiration from his favourite photographers Nick Knight and Ciesay and Soulz from Places+Faces. Photography has helped “detach myself from

by alicia slym

As Britain face a huge alteration to their country due to Brexit the conservatives think “now more than ever, Britain need a strong and stable government” something we aren’t seeing…. Still. As the country and May follow through with the readjustment to a non EU country we slowly start to see the giant challenges that Britain face which were clearly stated in their manifesto. May needs to get her finger out and do her actual job. Let’s start with one of the challenges that we will face. The challenge the conservatives want to tackle is creating a stronger economy for our ‘unstable’ country wanting to build and create a stronger economy for ourselves in the future. With an outline of a plan to ensure that the economy across Britain can grow to help the country re-build. May really hasn’t stuck to this though. The NHS (our free health service) at this time is buckling under the pressure and the strain on all types of health and social care services. May is making it even worse for herself and seems to be refusing to accept that the NHS is in crisis. Cutting funds for the NHS and cutting education funding which could possibly lead to a higher unemployment rate. Good one May. The need to deliver a smooth departure from the European Union will be our biggest challenge. As a country we are set to depart the EU at 11pm on Friday 29th March 2019. By her own party May has been criticised for her failure of not being able to set her own direction for Brexit. It seems as though no plan has been made by the conservatives or is May just apprehensive and dancing around the whole idea of Brexit. It seems as though to the public that May is making it up as she goes along, not the best way to “deliver a smooth departure from the EU” is it really. Here we go, the next challenge May faces is to break all social divisions. Well this will be funny, the conservatives are happily making the rich, richer and the poor, poorer. Just like good old Maggie



Thatcher did pretended that the North of England didn’t exist and then ruined their lives. May however, wants to protect the working community stating that she has had enough of hard-workers being ‘used and abused’. Threating big businesses (as she has ‘apparently’ said), informing the CEO’s that they will be fined if they don’t stick to the “tough new rules” put in place to keep their employees safe. May has had enough of the ‘big boys’ wanting to lower companies putting their employees’ pension schemes at risk. Sir Phillip Green in 2016 for BHS was one of the first mean to see the collapse of the pension scheme of former and current employees. With new light on Carillon, the business that avoided The Commons Work and Pension Committee and paid large sums of money to shareholders and bosses instead of funding the pensions of their employees. There is no evidence to back up her points, just these ‘rules’ that she is putting in place apparently to ‘try’ and stop this happening. Try again Theresa, we have evidence that it’s not working very well. Let’s pick up on the challenge of the real life issues of an ageing society/ population this counts for both the older generation now and the ageing population to come. With the harsh reality of an ageing society their needs to be plans put in place for this challenge ahead. Let’s see how this issue isn’t being tackled, starting with the councils warning the people of Britain

that they are planning on increasing tax to help with the deficit of money. According to The Times, the council say the pressure on their budgets was from child services followed by adult social care. So how can May be putting things in place to help an ageing population when already in 2018 there is pressure on adult social care, laughable really. With the government facing the deficit of funds for adult social care the ageing population are being left without careers and without the facilities they need. With the rising number of elderly people there needs to be more care homes and more carers. With thanks to the conservatives and our economy collapsing we might see areas left without care homes all together because councils can’t afford the fees.

Now more than ever we need a stronger andstable leadership yeah right.


elcome, to an article which is entirely anti-tory because we are all fed up of Theresa May and her groupies promising us the world. For years now the Tories have been hated by the working class citizens of Britain, starting with the hatred towards Margret Thatcher who became prime minister in 1979. Oh, also wasn’t May originally part of the remain party? However, as soon as she is given the opportunity to lead the country she wants to leave the EU, hypocrite.

So May still hasn’t created a strong and stable government has she. We are in a bigger black role then we were before, with no insight into what our country is looking like in the future. We haven’t even left the EU yet and we are already in a bad position. Fuck the Tories.



I can get the spotlight on me.”


aking a seat next to Rob Twaddle in the photo studio while he applied a bright pink MAC lipstick to his face, gave an insight into Rob’s true personality. More formally Robert age 19 who is originally from Scarborough on the North East Coast of Yorkshire opens up about his personal life. Living in a quiet tourist town with little to do A: Oh gosh, it was only a few years back when I first started sixth form around the age of 16. I think I have always known I was different I was very overt to feminine as a child but didn’t think anything from it. My mom used to say it was like I was in a glass closest because I was in there and everyone could see me which actually is a really nice sentiment bless her. I didn’t have any concept what sexuality was yet but at the age of 16 I kind of had that maturity that knowledge of the world to understand about what being gay is and what being trans is. And I realised that I am like a gay man and that’s just what it was, that’s what was making me feel different and

Q: When did you start to realise your true personality?

any construct that we can build and that we have built”


“I would sooner reach for the Barbie than I would the action man” I used to sit and cross dress them I used to get a Barbie and an action man and make them swap clothes just because I thought it was really fun. Fuck society, fuck capitalism, fuck this and fuck that.

“I came out but I didn’t really get a lot of grief for it.” it was a fun moment of like realising that nobody actually cared and that I’d built this whole thing up of myself who a like a year ago I would have been like oh god I’ve got to come out and I realised that nobody actually cared and that I’d built this whole thing up of myself, everyone was like oh cool, yeah you’re gay and we already knew to be honest. I was like oh okay, fantastic. Coming from the background of performance it didn’t feel very scary as I was used to being in front of 50 people anyway.

A: I would say always unapologetically myself.

Q: Explain yourself in three words.

I very quickly came to realise that this is what was happening, which I was fine with.

A: Originally, the whole makeup obsession came from when I directed and wrote my first play an adaptation

Q: Why do you wear makeup?

and tearing it apart until the only construct that we have is just being human. I think that the more things we see that are weird and outrageous the more normalised they will become. People are always going to find the next best thing but if we can get to a point where in society we are equal then it’s fine. We have managed to tear down those barriers that we ourselves have built over the years of destroying the planet. During the interview with Rob he changed into his next absurd look ready to perform for the camera. His makeup and the way he looks is key to his performance in real life and on stage. Turning up to the shoot with a suitcase and an Aldi bag for life it contained clothes and makeup that any girl would dream about. Unzipping the suitcase in the studio showed theatrical and feminine clothes from a sheer pink dress, culottes, printed floral shirt, kimono paired with a yellow dress… amazing. With every makeup look that Rob creates it creates a whole different persona but he was adamant that it wasn’t drag. The looks were key for the day’s shoot, even as far as planning them the day before.

“I’ve always loved performing arts, where

the town was “wildly homophobic” as Robert said he grew up in negative surroundings meaning the town. With a good family life however Rob managed to stay in Yorkshire for 7 years until moving to Oxford. With no money in his account, he moved on a whim to continue his passion of theatre and performance and started to train on an acting course nearby. As for his passion towards performing, there has been a close focus on gender performance with a lot of post-modern contemporary work and recently more classical work.

BY Alicia Slym

of Alice and Wonderland. I ended up with all this makeup at the end of the show and essentially I had nothing to do with and it wasn’t until a few months later. I experimented with makeup out of boredom, I have all this makeup I may as well use it. I never taught myself how to do conventional makeup, I never sat and watched tutorials and figured everything out that way. I wasn’t using the products correctly if that made sense but I was using them how I wanted to use them. Q: Do you call it drag? A: For the longest time I did, yeah this is me I’m doing drag, cool. I soon came to realise that what I was doing I didn’t want to call drag and when I called it drag people would make presumptions of what that meant. I would say yeah I am a drag queen and people would say oh yeah what’s your drag name? I don’t have one and they would be like don’t you have a drag character then? I would say no I don’t. Drag doesn’t resonate with me, it used to be drag and I would just have a white stripe down my face and I used to say I was a drag queen. It’s not drag that I do though now, there is a drag element to it defiantly if I am dressing up and performing as someone else but because it’s different every time there is not one persona that I

stuff that people have leant me or just said have it I never wear it. A lot of older women who see what I do will be like oh I literally have a wardrobe full of clothes I don’t wear, just take them. I will go round someone’s house for the afternoon and come back with a new wardrobe it’s true that I barely buy anything. It depends where my sister shops she is like Missguided, Boohoo and ASOS which is fantastic. One thing the sizing is so weird all these shops, the one thing I don’t envy you as women and like going out and being like why am I size 8 in one place and a size 12 in another

wouldn’t necessarily go as far as saying I was doing drag but more of a version of it.

“Every time I put on makeup and every time I do a look it would be a different character.” There Q: Do people agree with you was no cohesive moment of like looks? oh this is what ever her name is, with every look, it’s not a A: I get a lot of questions actually. If case of I put on the makeup and I go out clubbing that’s always a fun it isn’t the same person every time. I mean you’ve seen today, one because I get a lot of people sometimes it’s like a little boy saying what are you and what are look sometimes it’s something you meant to be as in like I went a lot more overtly feminine. out with this protagonist and anime It’s never traditionally female look/moment very Asian inspired like ever. It never looks like a but it was messy. With red streaks and like gashes, it was fun colourful woman, I would never say that I was a female which is what a lot moment that didn’t look like of drag is anything but I knew what it looked like to me and that’s all that matters. People would come up to me and be “I’ve got all this stage makeup” I may as well take it to the like oh is this actual makeup or is it national theatre and play with face paint? all this makeup. So I had like a Q: Where do you get your blue foundation stick and I was clothes from? like oh this is really cute like a blue foundation, who’d have known. But also I was using that A: Oh god anywhere and as an eyeshadow, I was using everywhere. From like a lot of creams as eyeshadows and charity shops a lot of hand me lipsticks as contour. Because I downs, a lot of this isn’t mine its

didn’t have any knowledge of what I was supposed as a wig. Both my directors are queer, they to be doing it didn’t matter and it wasn’t until I only are both lesbians not together just lesbians. started learning how to properly use makeup that One of them pulled me aside and was like my makeup did technically come less experimental look we thought that was really interesting but more fineand we know that there is a lot of post-modern contemporary work, Rob tuned and I could queer people on the course do you has recently been given the role as art actually do what I want to want to take that on and director to a new queer cabaret. As part was supposed to do something with it? And play with of peer productions which is the acting do properly. Once it by putting on a cabaret which is company that something that has a lot of gender I figured out the Rob studies world of contouring performances and drag and things under at and making myself like that. the moment look half decent I he was could then combine Q: With the new cabaret encouraged that experimental would you say you liked to to play with nature of doing be challenged then? the idea what I want when of a queer I want with what I A: Oh absolutely, I love it when cabaret. After pitching to his tutors the want with actually someone tells me I’m wrong it’s idea seemed perfect for the people having some basic my favourite thing. Because I want of Bracknell creating a safe space for knowledge of how to know why, I mean I was saying queer people to visit and be part of a makeup works. to you earlier that we did this community. A way to encourage groups personality test and it said I’m a to come together and be in a safe “My makeup isn’t debater naturally, I always want traditional” it never space. to argue with someone and find has been and I out more about them and where Q: Tell me about your new queer they are coming from. But also in don’t think it ever cabaret? arguing I learn more about myself will be I don’t have an interest in being and I really like someone to be like a gorgeous woman A: Yes! Oh very exciting. I did this little oh what you’re doing isn’t right, drag performance, a mini show as at all. I know that or why don’t you do it this way. we had 15 minutes to do so. I put on it’s not traditional What happens is that I realise I am 5 minutes of a show and then just like makeup so what wrong and I learn a new way to talked about it and what I wanted to do. can you tell me do something or I win an argument that I don’t already I did this fun thing it was to an Imogen (laughs) so it’s like win, win. Heap song about this building which know. As you see was falling apart it’s called neglected right now, I’ve got “It’s going to be a safe space in space, beautiful piece of music. I put on a giant circle of Bracknell for queer people.” This is these like actual tights with balloons in MAC lipstick on because there isn’t any gay bars, my face, which is there isn’t any youth clubs that various shades of I’ve seen doing particularly very pink. Not really a traditional moment. I know it’s not well you know. I mean we wanted a nice traditional so when people challenge me it’s like cute little performance space of people to bring bring it on mate. something forward who don’t necessarily don’t have to be part of the company just have to come and apply. We don’t want With his focus being on gender performance and fun it to be a queer cabaret in the sense of

here are all these queer people come look at them oh my god. We didn’t want to alienate ourselves before we’d even started we wanted to make it inclusive but more celebratory of gay people more than like about gay people “I have been given the role as artistic director” But I hope to perform in it as well. WE want them to be themed, so every night has a different vibe. First theme being the last night on the world so the apocalypse is happening. We are just here to party, but have the theme as the different ways the world could go. For instance, in the cabaret we’ve got a sexy, burlesque number which is how it starts but half way through she gets bitten by a zombie and she transforms into a zombie but still in the sexy lacy outfit. It would just be this ridiculous thing. The one I want to do it sex robots becoming intelligent and taking over the world and it would be so dumb but it would be fun and light-hearted. It just had a real silliness to it but at the same time make some cool art work.

“Fuck any constructs that we have built and tear it apart until the only construct that we have left is just being human”.

Robert Twaddle is a figure of all characters and a force that will not be stopped, between painting his face and changing his clotthes, he is more than a performing arts student, he is a movement.

Models: Clothing: Hernude. Photography: Carina Steen.


The Dot Project collaborated with AucArt - the world’s first auction house specialising in contemporary artists in the early stage of their career in their latest exhibition: Picasso Baby. The partnering creation consists of four London based emerging talents straight from art school. Otto Ford Morgan Ward Gordon Berger Florence Sweeney


Throughout the history of art, artists have experienced uncertainty at the beginning of their careers. This has been labelled as ‘the blue period’ taken from the early days (1901-1904) of Picasso’s artistic legacy. During this period, Picasso had relocated from Spain to Paris, similar to today’s artists - constantly moving around to feed their need for inspiration. The beginning of

a career is without doubt the most vulnerable and exciting stage of both past and present artists. Whilst influences change over centuries, the journey for aspiring artists remains the same. The uncontrollable reliance and addiction to our online persona today makes us prisoners of our own dependance on having an existential status. We have become beggars of constant attention and verification of acceptance. The show explores what the Blue Period looks like for contemporary artists of today, examining how the internet and social media has blurred the lines between high and low standards of art through its excessive accessibility. This provides us with the opportunity to view the Old, Modern and Contemporary masters in one feed. We are existing

in a period of over saturation that gives us constant access to images which don’t always appear as they seem. Artists seen in the show empathise with the early twentieth century artistic and intellectual avant grade through their choices of mediums, shape and strong colour. 276 words so far. *In contact with a couple of the artists to have a potential interview* - I want to explore deeper into the anxiety of putting your work out to the world for fear of rejection.



he period protests have opened up the flood gates on the world, a particular one that you may have hoped would’ve been opened a long time ago. Periods are something that the male species really struggle with. My boyfriend won’t even say the word. Like countless other men, he just kind of raises his eyebrows at me in a sheepish and hugely irritating manner and goes “are you… ya know… on?”. To which my replies range from an eye roll to a “JUST SAY PERIOD”. So when did this taboo against bleeding become at the forefront of our society? Ever since school when sex education was divided down the middle and the boys were taken away so the girls could be informed of how disgusting their bodies were about to get, we were told to hide any sign of a period. We were advised to be painfully

discreet if we needed any assistance or a pad and were even instructed to then place it up our sleeve as we trot off to the bathroom. This was emphasised when thousands of Australian women and girls were surveyed on this topic for a study carried out by feminist writer and educator, Karen Pickering. The results showed that girls of a school age said that getting their period could be made better if menstrual product wrappers didn’t make a sound. The way in which young girls are educated about their periods is making them embarrassed of their bodies. Even the way in which period products are marketed add to this by constantly highlighting the term ‘discreet’.


This outlook is dated all the way back to the Quran where it can be read that “… in her menstrual impurity; she is unclean”. Well, I’m ever so sorry love but I don’t pay for Always and Tampax every fucking month to be told that I’m dirty for getting my period.

Bodyform were commended last October for releasing their #bloodnormal campaign which was the first ever period product advert to contain blood. They used a realistic, blood- like liquid to show absorbency which is very unlike the blue liquid that is usually used. You know, for biological accuracy, as we all bleed blue gel so it’s super helpful to see. They ended their potentially trend- setting ad with the line “Periods are normal, showing them should be too”. 2018 marks the anniversary of the suffragette movement, so how the fuck did it take 100 years for us to be told that, unlike my flow, bleeding is regular.

BY Francesca White























Putting the world to rest with Adam Macqueen.

Macqueen is a vital ingredient in Private Eye’s tasteful recipe; the journalist joined on work experience in 1997 and has found it difficult to escape ever since. As the magazine reaches its 56th anniversary, he’s keen to emphasise that their readers have no longing for it to change, well apart from the size of the font, “we used to think it was because they were old, but we kind of agree with them now that were old too”. The Eye has been known to give its audience more consistent pain, pleasure and provocation than any other publication has ever come close to. It was the first to report on the unusual number of child deaths

By Kelly Morgans

Satire, sandwiches and slime ball public figures, one of Private Eye’s leading journalist’s tells us why laughing at people is the best thing you can do.

We’re officially living in a post-truth era; millennials no longer depend on objective fact, but are followers of their own emotional and personal beliefs. Britain’s only satirical fortnightly aims to help you come to this

decision. Between the jokes and cartoons, the Private Eye’s manifesto consists of exposing the fibbers and fabricators so you don’t have to. I saw this play out in real life on my arrival at Carlisle Street. It was 3pm, but there was something quite timeless about the small-scale hub on press day, bearded men were finishing up illustrations of other bearded men and production was imminent. Adam Macqueen was already sourcing the next issue’s content; he’s a great believer that the one thing self-important people can’t bear is being laughed at and speculates that Piers Moron (Morgan)’s constant retweeting of that butt-licking snap is a conscious cry for attention from his favourite blonde bombshell, Mr Trump himself.

at a Bristol heart unit and fittingly revealed the trials and tribulations of former Prime Minister, Harold Macmillan’s wife’s long-term affair with a fellow Tory MP. There’s always been a touch of anarchy about it and if anyone told them they were not allowed to say something; they were encouraged to “say it more loudly”. It’s suggested that sometimes the most serious of messages are best addressed with humour and Macqueen is firmly devoted to satire, “I think it’s [humour] vital, if the Private Eye was just the journalism, it would get you down because all we’re doing is exposing corruption and how awful politicians are, stuff that raises people’s blood pressure and makes you really depressed, you need

the jokey stuff in the middle.” Metaphorically, the publication is like a sandwich, the bread is the serious stuff and the filling is the jokeswithout it, the concept is tasteless. He adds that if anyone were to pitch their idea to a publisher today, it wouldn’t make great sense, “it’s a magazine with a load of gossip about journalists in it, a heap of political stories, some serious investigations into miscarriages of justice and then a couple of slightly schoolboy-ish jokes about the Prime Minster”whilst it may seem like a weird combination, “you need all of it.” There’s something quite close knit about Private Eye, consisting of seven in-house journalists (and 100-150 contributors), Macqueen is eager to emphasise the lack of competition in the office, highlighting how the team share stories and are constructive and encouraging when it comes to each other’s work. He’s happy to tell me about the “huge hinterland of people who send them stuff” who aren’t necessarily other journalists, but just everyday people that spot things that don’t seem quite right. Macqueen’s expertise lies with the wrongdoings of the media, describing his column ‘Street of Shame’ as a place where he can expose tabloid papers and their “thinskinned” journalists. “We’re doing to the newspapers what they’re doing to everyone else because they don’t like being reported on”. The Eye has long been criticized for its often controversial tone, but it seems that it’s those that are involved in the field that are the most easily offended, “we have the most complaints from journalists, they get really upset about being written about and are always the keenest to find out who your sources are and of course, you never reveal your sources”. The journalist has always had fun telling the history of political porkies, so much so that he decided to write an entire book about it, ‘Private Eye: The First 50 Years: An A to Z” is what Macqueen likes to call ‘office politics’. “The last journalist who wrote a book for the 21st anniversary in 1983 caused such a terrible

“it makes a huge difference, literally 20,000-30,000 copies a fortnight if you’ve got a good cover”. Interestingly in the early 1990s, much like women’s glossy weeklies, Princess Diana was always a success, “which is weird because we were usually not being particularly nice about her”. Today the Royals are still best sellers and those who flop? “Its usually whoever’s sitting Prime Minister, they sell really badly because people

stink and fallout that he had to leave! Luckily I’m still here”. Macqueen revealed he walked into the office feeling very nervous on his first day back after the copies had been handed out to colleagues, “It’s quite interesting writing about the people you have to work with every day, fortunately only one of the team threatened me with violence so I think I’m doing alright!” Sick and tired of seeing people with half known facts about political scandals, the journalist’s most recent masterpiece, ‘The Lies of the Land: A Brief History of Political Dishonesty’s’ aim was to help those same people begin “to get things right on Twitter”. On the topic of social media, Macqueen draws attention to how today, people are unwilling to reveal their political opinions but instead latch onto others, “it’s all stemmed from retweeting and liking on Facebook just saying ‘yes me too’ and this need to identify yourself as being a part of a team”, the world has become more insular than ever and people are only interested in the specific things that they like. Isn’t it ironic that Private Eye mocks the comfortable establishment but has essentially sprung from that very same comfortable establishment? “We’re always told that were terribly, terribly establishment and of course, Ian Hislop (Editor in Chief of Private Eye) has been a part of the BBC establishment for 25 years, but if you actually watch what he says about the BBC on ‘Have I Got News for You’, he’s quite happy to bite the ham!” Essentially, the Eye wouldn’t work without this insider edge; Macqueen refers to how Richard Ingrams, one of the publication’s co-founders, would take insiders from various places down the pub to gain knowledge about what was going on in the world. “At the beginning it was hopeless because they didn’t know anyone or know anything” and there’s only so much one can do from the outside.

the corner from the office on Greek Street, Cook had recently opened a cabaret club, where his aim was to do “the kind of hard hitting political satire that would help bring down Hitler in the 1930s!” He was anarchic and his weapon of choice had always been confrontation and provocation, something he did effortlessly in both his comedy and his writing.

6 Carlisle Street is a humble spot; they have very little in terms of a digital platform and The inspiring past of the Eye has evidently rely on their readers to get their influenced the way in which Macqueen thinks message across rather than a about the world. He mentions Peter Cook, a separate social media resources comedian from the 1960s that bought the magazine team. Macqueen still believes during a time of political upheaval. Just around the front cover is what sells,

don’t want to see them”. Macqueen is a believer of giving people what they want and prematurely recognised the decline of Gordon Brown, “he’d be on the cover again and it was like ‘oh no please’, I think people find the very sight of him depressing”. Ever since Brexit, people have become so much more polar, whilst everyone used to love the humorous, happy-go-lucky Boris Johnson, there’s as many that won’t pick up a publication with his face on today as those that will, as Macqueen puts it, “the joke’s worn a bit thin by now”. On my exit, Macqueen drew my attention to the pictures hanging to my left and right down the typically Soho narrow corridor, “we call it the Wall of Death”. It includes photographs of the Private Eye’s past alumni, we joke how this must prompt a great sense of positivity when walking into the office every morning, he replies with, “I guess we’ll all be up there one day”. One thing’s for sure, Adam Macqueen is a truly, joyful realist.

IS FASHION BRAINWASHING OUR CHILDREN? From 400 quid tracksuits to queuing outside Dover Street Market at three in the morning, streetwear is ruining the lives of youths as young as nine.

but he follows the same ethos. For him, the entire notion of streetwear is to do with its customers not being able to cop their items easily or cheaply; this is what ultimately makes the phenomenon so addictive. Living outside of London, Charlie feels a sense of pride owning an item that is somewhat unattainable and it’s merely a sweet bonus that his fouryear-old hoodie can be sold for triple the price on Depop purely down to current brand demand. Many believe that the problem with obsession generally lies with the aims and objectives of fashion brands. Filtering down from menswear and womenswear, there has been a sudden growth in the kidswear market; meaning stores like River Island seized the opportunity to open its first stand-alone kidswear store in Glasgow earlier this month. Whilst the store essentially includes carbon copies of its adult counterpart, the high street favourite has been criticised for its sexualisation of young girls because of its somewhat ‘provocative’ garments. Cleverly, streetwear avoids this issue by being uber-casual and labelling its clothing by small, medium

BY Kelly Morgans

Josh is 13. He’s barely in secondary school and today he’s in London for the latest Palace drop, it’s 9am and he’s been stood outside the Haymarket spot for three hours. He’s not after a particular piece; “I just want something before it sells out”. This sets the tone for every other person in the winding line of around 300; everyone’s after ‘just something’ because that something is what sets them apart from the rest of their pre-GCSE classroom. Gone are the days of PlayStation’s and belly button piercings, today, kids are after Gucci and Gosha. So, when did children get so trend driven? Instagram, a platform to show off anything and everything, could have something to do with it. It certainly worked for Leo Mandella (@gullyguyleo), a 15-year-old from Warwickshire who’s copped over 530k followers in little over two years purely through flexing his latest threads. The teen claims to have gotten into fashion at the tender age of nine and is a proud owner of a collection that’s worth in excess of £10,000. His feed is a careful accumulation of some of streetwear’s most hyped pieces, from Supreme to Stone Island, the gully guy has got it all and is the envy of everyone because of it. The majority of these so-called ‘hypebeasts’* are too young to be legally working in the UK, so where is the money coming from? “I won’t lie, my mum does buy me a lot of it” reveals Josh, “but at the end of the day, she’d rather buy me clothes than give me money to go out drinking like a lot of my friends”. Streetwear has become a big business and young people like Josh view their purchases as investments rather than stupid, impulsive buys. Birmingham born Charlie funds his wardrobe by working at Burger King

and large. However, many would argue that it exposes young people in other, more complex ways. Not only does a pair of fancy Off-White joggers burn a hole in a 15-year-old’s pocket, but also harms today’s children’s self-esteem. During the digital age, young people feel more pressured than ever to be a part of the crowd (standing out is only acceptable if you’re the only one in East Anglia to cop Vetements’ latest rip-off tee). Unfortunately, owning the latest garms are the only way to feel accepted in modern society it seems. But not everyone is as fortunate as these over excited pre-teens outside DSM; the majority can’t justify £80 for a pair of socks and are made to feel like a failure because of it. Whether you agree with kids in top to toe Louis Vuitton or not, youths like Leo who has recently been chosen by Converse to help re-launch the iconic One Star design, has shown an entrepreneurial nous way beyond his years. Brands have always wanted millennials who have forged their own paths on their own terms to represent their products, but these inspiring founders aren’t in their mid-twenties anymore. Today, many influencers are more than likely to be in the same age group as your little cousin with the required skill set being a dab hand at hussling on Depop and knowing your hi-fi from your low-fi on Instagram. The world’s gone mad and unfortunately, there’s nothing that Janice from the school governing board can do about it.

Somewhat Elevated from Reality “the

smoothness of milk and tea swirling around each

other in a cup”. What exactly goes on inside a dancer’s mind? BY Jules Reitan

Born and raised in Stavanger, Norway, Anders Engebretsen, chose to pursue a career within contemporary dance in England. Though he accidentally discovered his passion at 15, which is fairly late to make it as a dancer, hard work and dedication has showed that the 22-year-old has got what it takes to become a brilliant dancer. Graduating with a 1st class BA(Hons) from London Contemporary Dance Being able to dance everyday fills School in 2017, he went on Anders with a joy that triggers a to the Northern School of combination of fun and challenge Contemporary Dance in Leeds within him. “A grown-up boy” he to get an MA in contemporary calls himself, because as a dancer it dance performance, which is acceptable for him to explore the he will complete in August playful aspects of all the ways his 2018. His talent does not body can move, as well as it demands a go by unrecognized, as he severe body strength and a determined was awarded the Fund for mind-set. Though this is what drives Excellence when training at him, he does not only dance for the LCDS. Also, he has received the fun of it and says that it has added a Peggy Hawkins Scholarship whole different dimension to his life: for exceptional potential as a “I have gained opportunities to turn dance artist. my life on its head, by broadening my horizons on what it means to be a human, and how I connect with other people and my own body. I think it has also made me more empathic and patient, as well as a better collaborator and communicator, and definitely more resilient and thick-skinned.” Dancing becomes a very consuming form of art since it is all about putting both your mind and body into it, as well as it takes up great amounts of time. However, there is something

Anders believes in being daring and working outside his comfort zone. He hopes to still be using the language of movement and developing his creative talent for as long as his body allows him. After he graduates, the dance artist wants to take on the stage working as a part of an ensemble and will strive to continue working as an influential individual within the arts: “I am hoping to share my passion and belief in dance as a meeting point between people; for understanding, for community, for questions and answers. I think we should be bold and dare to put ourselves out there, because no one will do it for you!”

He is also working on a research project for his final MA dissertation, exploring the aspects of humour and awkwardness in dance, and about it he says: “I am intrigued by how contemporary dance can be ‘funny’. I think contemporary dance is often associated with something very profound and serious. I want to create something that has an intention and deeper meaning attached, yet somehow remains playful, witty and entertaining”

the pieces is based solely on the idea of a bird flock flying across the stage. Anders speaks about this so beautifully: “I find birds mesmerizing to watch, the way they form patterns and pathways so effortlessly in the air, and how they can dive and change directions in the fraction of a second. The idea of translating this into bodily sensations or trying to represent it on stage is fascinating -how we as a group of dancers are able to mould and shape our bodies, and for that short moment of time, become something else.”

about the way the language of movement so expressively creates a message and intimate connections, that makes it is all worth the while if we were to believe Anders, sunset at a Norwegian sandy who says: “The ability beach, one-line drawings, to express something black and white photography, that exceeds words and strangers smiling to each other having the privilege to on the tube, a single line from a share this experience poem, the smoothness of milk with other dancers and and tea swirling around each audiences is astounding, other in a cup, the view from and something I often Primrose Hill in London and forget the impact of. I also watching people in cafés and love the atmosphere that supermarkets.” He says. is created when we have to immense ourselves Anders also finds inspiration in physically into a creation photography, architecture and process, and I find it design, adding that his creativity intriguing how well we blossoms from: “recognising learn to know each other patterns and shapes and as people, compared to imagining them transformed what we would if we only into something new, a stayed seated around a movement, a drawing, a puzzle table.” or some poetic combination of letters which resembles some For someone working in sort of meaning.” a creative environment, one of the most important Currently playing a part things is to be reflective of VERVE dance company, of your surroundings consisting of 14 young dancers and always look for new in Leeds, Anders is preparing ways of feeding the to go on tour in UK, Malta and imagination. Anders’ mind Germany. The group will perform is very receptive, taking four pieces made by four different in everything he finds choreographers, where one of intriguing, wherever he is: “The most random things inspire me. People moving in unconscious patterns, flocks of birds flying across the sky, the

There is a lot of stuff happening in a crowded area like this, people rush around him and he has no clue on where he should go today and how this day might end up like. People seem to ignore him as they pass him doing their everyday chores. “That is just how things are like down here”, he explains to me as I briefly look around the area. No one seems to acknowledge him or his friends for that matter, and they have all just learned to live with it. Walking towards one of the hills surrounding the area, he stops to think about how lucky he is to have so many wonderful friends around him, and not one of them judge each other. “This is our happy place”, he smiles and stops at the top of the hill. Meet Phil, the donkey. So Phil, you have lived in London for quite a while now, do you sometimes wish you lived outside of the big city? I mean, the farm is located in a perfect spot so that while we all are living in the big and urban city, but we kind of do not notice as the woods are on every corner of the farm. I must say I enjoy the city life, and I do not think I would change it for any other place in the world. Do you wish that you grew up on a smaller farm? Yeah, I guess I sometimes do. This is a big

farm, with a lot of stuff always happening. I sometimes wish we had more time to our self, but at the end of the day I will always love this place, this is where all of my friends are. What does your perfect day look like? I wake up around 6 AM, and my breakfast is always ready at that time, so I have a nice meal with my friends (name) before we are taken to our shared paddock at 7 AM. Luckily, there is a shed there, so if the weather is not on our side we can still be outside! We get a morning exercise at 9, with some of the horses before we all eat lunch together at 12. This is a bit embarrassing to say, but I always take a small nap after that. My friend always wakes me up, and we walk around the paddock until we are taken inside again for our dinner and dessert, I love carrots so that is my favourite part of the day. After that I hang out with my friends and then we all go to bed.


BY Jules Reitan

No phone and no internet. Wait, what? In today’s society, the internet has become as important to function in everyday life, as the photosynthesis. Since the iPhone was introduced by Steve Jobs in 2007, smartphones have become a multitasking extension of our arms, keeping us online 24/7. According to a survey done by Statista in 2017, 96% of people in UK aged 16-24 owned a smartphone, and it has become a vital organ we cannot live without. We rely on these devices to help us out in the everyday life; on how to get somewhere, on connecting with others and to keep us busy from feeling the slightest bored. Even when we are going to bed we are never truly offline, because we are receptive of those buzzing sounds from the device placed right next to us. Are we even capable of going back to the time when a phone was just a phone? I did an offline detox for 24 hours to see how I managed, and this is what I learned.

You start questioning your apps. Are they really making your life easier, or is life simply easier without them? Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, are some of the most time-consuming apps. Wired. com has written that the average UK adult actually spends almost nine hours of each day on social media and communication, which is more than most people sleep each night. The amount of information we receive and communication we do without even thinking about it can be too much and being without these apps was actually a great relief. You will not feel obligated to answer someone when you don’t even know if they have messaged you. You might actually be a bit bored. Truth is, when you have become too dependent on internet to fill in every little gap of break in your life, your mind will start thinking of other ways to be entertained. Appreciate the moment on the tube to watch people, spend some quality me-time with no guilt or begin to read that book you were recommended, but most importantly, you will learn to enjoy your own company. A work out is not as motivating. One of the first things I noticed when going for a run in the morning, is that I really missed the music in my ears. Without the music you might actually direct your attention to your surroundings, providing better odds of not being run down, however it is not the same without that one particular song you can always count on getting you around the block. You will be more present. Without the time-consuming apps, you will find more time to do things you never would have done otherwise. If you got nothing better to do than staring at that laundry pile, why not just go ahead and get it out of the way? Or you can choose to prioritize the work you had pushed aside for a little Netflix session. Also, you will enjoy the silence, or lack of buzzing, which keeps your head focused on what you are doing right now.

MURDEROUS ‘BEAST FROM THE EAST’ IS SET TO WIPE OUT BRITAIN’S PENSIONERS As many parts of the country hit temperatures as low as -4°C, civilians are advised to stay inside or die. This week saw the most testing weather to hit the UK in years, from blizzards and strong winds to drifting snow and ‘supercooled’ rain drops (that’s just normal rain but a bit more frozen), the Met Office’s issue of a red alert has sent Britons into turmoil. As if the ‘Beast from the East’ hadn’t already caused enough chaos, the arrival of his pal Storm Emma only added to the mayhem, making the great outdoors simply lethal for both the very young and the ancient.

Whilst we don’t like things to be shaken up too much, we do love a day off, well… unless it’s due to being plagued by snowy weather- that, we don’t like. Cabin fever is real. As roads became virtually impassable, the country came to a standstill, causing only those brave enough to venture out, to panic buy. From Lancashire to the Brecon Beacons, supermarkets saw shelves stripped of bread, milk and soup (yeah soup), leaving every man to fend for himself during a time of climate upheaval.

As a country, we’re not great with change; we don’t like the new fivepound note and we’re certainly not great fans of having to take alternative routes to work. Despite Trevor Macdonald’s plead to not travel unless absolutely necessary, many thought bugger it and went anyway. The only thing worse that a bus replacement is a nothing replacement, as trains and trams were cancelled across the nation, many took to the old tradition of walking, or at least they tried. One source depicted how she watched numerous people struggle to stand straight as they slipped and fell under cars (not moving, they were submerged in 20 inches of snow of course) causing others to desperately shriek “where the bloody bollocks is the salt!”

During a troublesome time, it’s true that a community really does pull together. In the Yorkshire Dales, local 4x4 owners transported the Jean’s and Jane’s of Harrogate to their Sunday services… well when they weren’t otherwise occupied nicking the entire village’s farmhouse medium-sliced loaves that is. “No weather will stop my truck” smirked Albert, “these little Clio’s all colliding into one another with their continental tyres need to stay parked up at home; they’re causing the ol’ country a fortune in insurance costs”. Although many have tried to bring down the beast, the human race is no match for the might of Mother Nature. My advice? Lets all just sit inside, have a nice cup of tea and wait for this to all blow over.

THE DISTORTING PRICE OF BEAUTY Over the years, plastic surgery has continually challenged society’s beauty norms and has essentially become the world’s ‘new normal’. This raises the question of whether being ‘natural’ is even a real thing anymore? As long as you can afford it, these days anybody can go to a plastic surgeon and either change their looks or take small cosmetic procedures, to become a “better” version of him or herself. Plastic surgery is not a new thing, it has been popular for several years, and as more people choose to change themselves, one wonders, when exactly does it become too extreme? Although most might believe that women are the only ones who are prepared to under the knife, more men than ever are now also choosing to change their look. Who knows, maybe one day the world will only consist of surgically altered individuals and as a society we won’t recognise people by their genetic structures. Whilst many are in favour of enhancing their natural beauty, some people are going to extreme lengths to change their appearance, thus resulting in looking like a completely different person. Brazilian born Rodrigo Alves, 34, also known as the “Human Ken Doll”, has spent over £508,000 on plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures. Rodrigo is well known for his unique sense of style, and has previously appeared in Vogue and GQ, due to his bold fashion choices. Over the years, the self-named Ken Doll has reinvented himself with plastic surgery, having had gone under the knife over 60 times and cashing out for in excess

of 103 cosmetic procedures. Rodrigo claims that his aim is to educate other people about plastic surgeries and procedures, hoping to break the taboo that surrounds cosmetic enhancements. In an interview with The Sun Online, the surgery addict opened up about how he wishes for people to respect his “courage and bravery” for going under the knife.

As if this Brazilian hadn’t already changed enough, in 2017 he revealed his new plan to remove six of his ribs for the purpose of gaining a slimmer waist in able to achieve a more ‘doll like’ figure. And sure enough, he jetted off to LA to get them removed. The next goal for the future, is to go under sex reassignment surgery, which was also one of his main reasons to remove his ribs, however, he does not wish to proceed with this until he is over the age of 50. Although you may think Rodrigo is a little extreme when it comes to changing his look, he is not alone. There are several others, who just like him, have gone to extreme lengths to appear as a completely different person. Whilst Valeria Lukyanova might take offence to the fact that she shares the same bone structure as an alien, her look is definitely out of this world. She is famously known for spending five years to look like a Barbie doll. Although her appearance most definitely looks 99% fake, she swears she only has breast implants and that the rest of the body is due to exercise and clean eating. A statement that a lot of experts believe is untrue. Due to Valeria’s extremely thin waist, experts believe she has removed several of her rib bones to achieve the

ultimate Barbie body. She uses intense makeup to emphasize her doll-like look and blue contact lenses to cover her natural green eyes. However, unlike Rodrigo, this plastic fantastic admits that she does not want to go under the knife to get her desired body and insists she’d rather spend her time exercising to achieve a stronger and muscular physique. You thought there was only one Ken? Wrong, meet Justin Jedlica, the 36-year-old plastic surgery addict with a passion to become the real life fashion doll. He admits that his obsession with cosmetic procedures stemmed from the need of a social status, as this was “what all the wealthy and rich people did”. The New Yorker recently revealed that Justin has spent £400,000 on surgeries and cosmetic procedures. Having first going under the knife at the age of 18, getting a nose job, chest, bicep and triceps implants, he has a liking for exaggerated features, wanting a tiny waist and a large upper body just like a superhero. Over the years, Justin has had more than 340 cosmetic procedures and 190 operations. He has even had four implants, all of which he designed himself, placed inside his back in an attempt to “give the illusion of wings!” Justin names Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers and Dolly Parton as his many inspirations for going under the knife and also admits that Barbie and Ken have played a big part in how he chose his new looks. As a child, he favoured Barbie over action figures and would often sit and be ‘admired by the appearance of the dolls.’ Another extreme case is Swiss born Jocelyn Wildenstein who has undergone many major surgeries to please her cat-loving husband, who passed away in 2008. She has gone under the knife countless times to achieve cat-like features, yes you read right. Since she began her journey to become a ‘human cat’, she has undergone canthopexy, a procedure that elevates the eyes to give them a cat-

like appearance and has also had upper and lower eyelid surgery, a brow-lift, face-lift, lip-plumping injections, fat grafting and cheek implants. But the 77-year-old said she is not yet finished with plastic surgery. Wildenstein cites her Swiss background for her ‘high cheek bones and long hair’ and her husband for her feline features. These aren’t the only extreme causes, there are thousands more that are both made known to the public and those that are yet to be found out. In a more materialistic world, after the one and only Kim Kardashian’s iconic derrière was idolized, several young girls decided that they too wanted butt implants to achieve her curvaceous look, proving how quickly plastic fever catches and spreads. In the UK, there was an increase of plastic surgeries and cosmetic procedures in 2015, but the percentage was a lot lower in 2016. So is plastic surgery really becoming the ‘new normal’ or are people slowly but surely trying to accept their natural appearance? The numbers prove that there are a lot fewer people going under the knife now than those in previous years, but with a rise in extreme causes, god knows what’s going on in the world.


YOU MUST BE HAVING A FUCKING LAUGH, DARLING. Best suited for 5’3 singleton with very little baggage and even less flab. You could hardly swing a cat in this property, which is lucky really, because pets aren’t allowed. This is a neglected area, perfect for kids wanting to build dens.

(this one’s way out of your budget)

One of SE16’s most glamorous new residences, a spectacular first home for a budding couple, although you may need to consider a polyamorous relationship to afford this beauty. Move the whole crew in and sleep on the floor (it’s unfurnished, obviously), the riverside view is totally worth it.

May be suitable for one Renault Clio but we can’t make any promises. Not suitable for bad reversers.

This might be Kensington, but you’ll still be sharing your bathroom with 16 other posh tots. Whilst they do only buy the most premium of toilet paper, they’re still pretty fucking disgusting after one too many Bourbons down the local ale.

The sofa is included in the price, as a matter of fact, the sofa is all you get. Located just outside busy Hornsey, this ground floor flat is guaranteed to keep you up all night long.


ARIES You feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions. You no longer feel like your usual energetic self. You should really regroup and reprioritise, but you’re not going to. So, keep the things that don’t serve you anymore. Make an unrealistic plan of how and when you’re going to tackle your priorities. Take it TAURUS As per, you’re in desperate need of money. You feel like taking a ten steps at a time. second chance at something you’ve always suspected you’d be good at. *SPOILER* you’re shit. It rewards you with no satisfaction and leaves you skint. YOU did this. You tried using your own terrible ‘talents’ and it backfired. Keep going, Taurus. This is how you carry on losing at life. P.S. Love life tip: don’t give someone a second chance. They’re not sorry and they’ll never appreciate or realise GEMINI You think you’ve had a bright idea. It isn’t. But as a Gemini, you will what you mean to them.


do what you want to do anyway. Why do you need someone else’s opinion? You’ve got your annoying twin self for company. P.S. Love life tip: a terrible ex is crawling back to you, you’re dumb enough to say yes to it. A pointless relationship is on the cards this month and you can’t wait for it.



If only you could see how close you aren’t to success. Keep going though! Don’t enjoy the journey, get to the prize ASAP! This is a terrible month to book any summer trips or holidays. Whatever plans you make now will fall through. P.S. Love life tip: you wish things with your other half in LEO the bedroom were a bit more SIZZLY. Nothings going to Someone is going to drop you in shit this month! You’re ready for something new in your life but you’re not willing change here, in fact they’re just going to SIZZLE-OUT.

to let anybody else lead you to new places therefore things are never going to improve for you. You’ve got big ideas and schemes, which will never be put to work. VIRGO P.S. Love life tip: Keep holding on to any lingering ties with The position of the planets right now indicates that you and your current those who’ve been dicks to you. Focus on those who are shit partner are going through quite a few changes. Well, not changes - you’ve to you and leave those who are good behind. been here a million times before in fact. When will you actually leave this dead relationship? This month you must focus on your job. Ask yourself if you’re happy doing this for the rest of you life. Here’s a clue - no. Friends will not support you in upcoming decision-making. You’re on your own here - it’s gonna be pretty terrible either way. Good luck!

Your social energy is painfully bad at the moment, and it feels as if your friends are twice as sociable as they were last week. Drag yourself out to spend time with them, even if it’s exhausting. You’re not going to get any recognition or money that you feel you’ve been craving - no good results at all in fact. Keep working hard though; it’s got to pay off in the end right?



In order to move ahead with your work, you will have to step on someone else’s toes. Don’t be sensitive to other people - your actions will backfire quite badly later on but who cares! Most of what you’re investing energy in is a dead loss. Make a terrible decision when the moon trines the Sagittarius Mars this morning. The planets spur LIBRA hardly any effort and that’s when the worst things happen. What You’re likely to be tested in the financial department would you like to happen? It’s your move, it could be the worst one. this month. You can’t count on much at the moment and that’s not going to change anytime soon. You are brought a powerful dose of energy. However, this kind of energy is extremely depressive. We recommend you use it in a particular way. Don’t get into a regular exercise regime. Don’t start out with moderation - get straight into it. You’ll be discouraged either way you start it. Aerobic exercise will be terrible for your levels of energy making them even less stable.


Don’t reconsider recent financial plans. Your head is full of nothing at all creative. If you’re a writer, journalist or publisher, this is a terrible time to be you. On the love side of things, you have a chance to express your passion. However, this doesn’t mean your love interest feels anything passionate back - prepare for heartbreak.





You're not to think you are anything special.You are to think you’re the dogs bollocks. You're not to think you are as good as we are.You are to believe that you’re even better. You're not to think you are smarter than we are.You must believe that you’re the cleverest tool in the box. You're not to imagine yourself better than we are. You're not to think you know more than we do.


You must see yourself as being in a completely different league.

You must believe that your knowledge is of a higher expertise.

You're not to think you are more important than we are.You are to think of yourself as a figure to be followed. You're not to think you are good at anything.You must know you’re a master of all trades.

You're not to laugh at us.You’re to laugh at your own jokes, because they’re much funnier. You're not to think anyone cares about you.You already know that your everyone’s favourite person. You're not to think you can teach us anything.You must not listen to anyone else but yourself.

NEXT ISSUE SCAN TO GET the life you pretend to have on instagram.

SCAN TO GET the life you pretend to have on instagram.

SCAN TO GET the life you pretend to have on instagram.

SCAN TO GET the life you pretend to have on instagram.


SURREALISM SURREALISM SURREALISM SURREALISM Available sometime soon, time is merely a social construction.


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