KS3 English 3-7 Writing Answers

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 44–45 1 Text 1 2 3 4 5

Intended audience Local council members Your whole year group Head teacher Potential customer (head teacher) Project manager

Purpose Inform, describe, persuade Persuade, argue Persuade, argue Persuade, inform, explain Advise, review

2 LEVEL 3 (low) These cyclesheds are realy bad and we want are money back because all are bikes got stolen from them last week and that is because they are not locked proberly. It is really not good enough and we think you should refund all the bikes and the sheds and sort it out for us as it is not good enough. Your company needs to sort this out.

Tim P This is level 3 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Simple connectives, such as ‘and’ and ‘but’.

• Sentences out of control and too long.

• Not paragraphed.

• Not set out as a letter.

Composition and effect • Aware of purpose and audience. This means the letter is trying to make the point that was asked for (to complain). However, it is not really formal enough for the intended purpose or audience.

• One straightforward point of view.

• Simple range of vocabulary.

Spelling • Lots of spelling errors, including simple words such as ‘really’ and ‘properly’.

1

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 44–45 continued 2

LEVEL 5

(mid) Bridge School Bridge Lane Liverpool Merseyside L13 7DG

Dear Premium Cycle I am writing to complain about the cycle sheds you sold our school last year because they are falling to pieces. You said they were ‘long lasting and guaranteed for ten years’ however this is obviously not true as there is extensive rust to the sides Schools don’t have much money so I think it’s not really fair you should sell us a bad product.

The students are the ones who are missing out because the money that will be spent to repair the product should have been spent on new books.

We want to claim on the guarantee so please send me details of how to do so; this will help to make me believe in your company again. It would be even better if you were to build us a new shed free of charge. We will make sure the local paper has a photo of this which would be good publicity for you Yours sincerley, Tim Potter This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Set out as a formal letter, including an address, greeting and sign-off (although the name of the company is wrong and ‘sincerely’ is spelt incorrectly!)

• Some range in sentence structures and they are starting to be used for effect.

• Clear paragraphing.

• A semi-colon has been used to make a complex sentence.

• Connectives such as ‘however’ and ‘which’ are used.

Composition and effect • Language and layout just about matches the audience and purpose – perhaps a little immature in its tone.

Spelling • Simple and common polysyllabic words spelt accurately (except ‘sincerely’, which is a really common error).

2

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 44–45 continued 2

LEVEL 7

(mid) Bridge School Bridge Lane Liverpool L13 7DG

Managing Director Premium Cycle Sheds Dear Sir, Re: Cycle Sheds at Bridge School, Liverpool It is with regret I have to complain about your product which was installed at my school last summer; they are simply not up to the job. As a consequence I wish to claim on the guarantee and have all the affected Sheds repaired or replaced immediately.

As a school we have made tremendous efforts to encourage students to take the healthy option and cycle to school; we hoped your product would be the finishing touch that helped them take this decision – we were providing them with state-of-the-art sheds to store their cycles away from the elements and potential thieves. This has not proved to be the case and the use of cycles has fallen dramatically as a consequence; that is very disappointing and frustrating.

I have tried to telephone you but have not been able to speak to you in person – I find this rather concerning and hope you will telephone me by return to discuss this issue and resolve it.

I look forward to hearing from you, Tim Potter Headteacher This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Layout is correct for a formal letter.

• Full range of sentence structures (simple, compound and complex) used for effect.

• Ideas are developed and clarified.

• Connectives such as ‘as a consequence’ have been used to signpost the train of thought to the reader.

• Range of punctuation to control and structure the letter.

Composition and effect • Tone matches task and audience. The writer sounds authoritative.

• Develops the ideas to highlight the impact the problem has had on the school.

Spelling • Accurate, including complex, irregular words such as ‘immediately’ and ‘tremendous’.

3 Purpose = advise Audience = radio controller Text type = report 3

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 46–47 1 negative dull boring tedious mundane dull wearisome monotonous

positive stimulating essential exciting interesting vital crucial

neutral ordinary normal necessary commonplace usual

‘Challenging’ could be used in a positive or a negative way!

2 There are lots of verbs available, for example: a go: move, proceed, depart, journey, travel, advance b said: cried, shouted, mumbled, whispered, sobbed, pronounced c sleep: doze, slumber, nap, snooze, rest, drowse d cry: sob, wail, weep, bawl, howl, snivel e walk: stroll, saunter, plod, trudge, stride, march 3 Here are some you might have thought of: a This product is really excellent / top class / first class / exceptional. b I’ll talk to / call / meet you later. c I am not sure / don’t know / am undecided as to what to suggest. d Hello / Good morning / Good evening / Good afternoon. e We don’t want to be overcharged / given a bad deal.

4 Here are some possible similes: a a really fierce deputy headteacher: as fierce as a bulldog b a jolly and cheerful football coach: like a beach ball on a sunny day c a huge grey factory: like a field of concrete d a small boat out at sea: as vulnerable as a butterfly e a child skiing down a mountain: like a fearless cannonball 5 For example: a Yob attacks grandmother. b The Guildford Flames slaughtered their opposition. c When the sun is blazing a cold drink tastes wonderful. d We are trapped inside the house by blankets of snow. e The ancient cat attempted to catch a bird and failed.

6 For example: a The man was attacked by the bear. b The woodland was damaged by a fire. c He quickly ate his burger. d She cried out as the young man took her handbag. e The old school buildings could be dangerous.

4

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 48–49 1 a I am very excited because I am going on holiday to America tomorrow! My whole family are going; what’s really good is that I am allowed to take my best friend. b Cats are natural predators; when they see a bird or mouse it just means excitement to them.

Sometimes they kill without the desire to eat their prey or can be shocked when they catch something.

2 a The market was full of exciting smells, colours, noises, people and new things. b Music can create the atmosphere you need to learn; it can even help you to remember ideas.

When you come to revise you can listen to the same music and it will help you to recall the original idea; your memory will have made a link.

3 a b c d

There are lots of possible answers. Here are some examples: At the end of the garden, beyond the tree, was the silent lake.

In the car, sitting quietly as directed, the boy watched the events unfold.

In the corner of the room, hidden by the shadows, crouched the murderer.

Under the floorboards, in a dusty envelope, was the secret plan.

4 a b c

In answers a–c, the main clauses are underlined and the subordinate clauses are in italics.

I hid under the duvet shaking, as the storm raged outside.

Claire, who was filled with a sense of relief, left the stage.

Until the power cut hit, Paul refused to leave his computer.

Here are three possible answers for d–f: d Sally loved the book; she missed her bus because she was reading it.

Sally, who missed a bus because she was reading, loved the book.

Even though she missed her bus, Sally loved the book. e The computer finally died; it had been used non-stop.

The computer, which had been used non-stop, finally died.

Due to its non-stop use, the computer finally died. f Amanda bought some new pink shoes; she loved shopping.

Amanda, who loved shopping, bought some new pink shoes.

Loving shopping, Amanda bought some new pink shoes.

5

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 50–51 1 When you first see my house you might think it’s a bit dull and dingy because there are plants growing up the front wall and the path is a bit overgrown. I like to think this adds character and makes it more exciting when you come and visit me.

Stepping through the front door for the first time is normally a bit of a shock because we’ve painted the inside really bright colours. The woodwork (that’s the doors and skirting boards) is pink and the walls are purple. My gran hates it, but we sat down and made a family decision so it’s fine by us.

Once you are in you’ll probably be drawn into the kitchen as there’s generally something good cooking and that’s where we tend to be. It’s funny really, as it’s the smallest room in the house but it’s where we spend our time together. (Well, not the smallest, but you wouldn’t all sit round the bathroom to talk about the day, would you?)

If I trust you, and the others say it’s OK, I might take you to the end of the garden to see our den. It’s taken us years to create it and it’s simply the best place to be in the summer.

2

“Look, I’m really sorry,” said Barry with frustration, “but this is just not going to work and that’s an end to it.” He threw down the play script and stood up to go.

Laura looked up at him, “I’m really sorry as well,” she said with sarcasm, “I’m really sorry that we’ve wasted so much time rehearsing with you in the lead role when we could have had Lance. He would at least have listened to our ideas.”

“That’s just typical,“ replied Barry, “and that’s why I’m leaving. You’ve never wanted me in this stupid play. Well, if you think Lance will have anything to do with you when he hears how you’ve treated me you’ve got another think coming!”

The rest of the cast sat watching with amazement as he coolly collected his jacket and walked out of the rehearsal room. Laura sat stunned.

“Did that really just happen?” she asked, “Did we finally get rid of that idiot?”

“Yes!” shouted Sian with joy, “Well done, you finally did it!”

3 Firstly, pre-heat the oven to 180°.

Secondly, take your vegetables and chop them into 1cm size cubes.

Then lightly oil the baking tray and arrange the vegetables on it so they are evenly spaced.

Next put the tray in the oven and set the timer to 40 minutes.

Finally remove the vegetables from the oven and enjoy!

6

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 52–53 1 • Your address in the top right: letter • Impersonal phrases: report • The date: letter, newspaper story • Snappy headline: newspaper story • Alliteration: letter, newspaper story, leaflet, speech • Short paragraphs: newspaper story, leaflet, report • Bullet points: leaflet, report • Sign off of ‘Yours faithfully, Yours sincerely’ or a more informal phrase if you know the person: letter • Rhetorical techniques: letter, newspaper story, leaflet, speech • Entertain and inform: letter, newspaper story, speech • Informal style: letter • Repetition: letter, newspaper story, leaflet, speech • Clear but lively: speech • Factual: report • Formal address: report • Short sentences: newspaper story, report • Clear statement of purpose: report • Sub-heading: newspaper story, leaflet • Modal verbs: leaflet, report, speech • Emotive language: letter, newspaper story, leaflet, speech • Personal pronouns: letter, leaflet, speech • The address of the person you are writing to in the top left: letter • Formal style: letter, newspaper story, leaflet, report, speech • Quotations from experts: newspaper story, speech • Pattern of three: newspaper story, leaflet, speech • Varied length of sentences: letter, leaflet, speech

7

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 52–53 continued 2 headline

sub-heading

PET FISH FRIED Fish lover left red-faced Paul Roberts, fish owning expert, was left red-faced yesterday, after he managed to fry hundreds of pounds worth of Koi Carp.

Roberts, who travels the world advising on the care of these creatures, fitted his own water filter system, something he advises his readers to leave to the professionals.

Unfortunately, he made a fatal error with the wiring and managed to heat his pond to near-tropical temperatures! The poor fish didn’t stand a chance, as their home boiled and then exploded.

The stone pond exploded under the pressure of the boiling water and the boiled carp were sent flying. “My cat thought it was wonderful as cooked fish came flying through the air” explained Roberts’ neighbour, Brian

Downing, “although it was a horrendous noise!”

Roberts wasn’t available for comment, but his wife said he was shocked and very saddened.

£400 Koi cat food

caption 3

illustration

alliteration

“ Everybody knows that litter is dirty and dangerous. So why do we just drop our litter? repetition

Rats are attracted to places with lots of litter, such as our school.

Now, you might have an idea of rats as cute and cuddly, but they actually spread dangerous diseases such as cholera, typhus and leptospirosis. We do not want these around our school, so why do we just drop our litter?

We need to make a stand. We need to make a difference. You need to make a difference.

alliteration list of three

repetition/ list of three

Firstly, take responsibility for your own actions. Put your litter in a bin or your bag.

Secondly, take responsibility for our community. Challenge anyone you see dropping litter. Explain what the consequences could be and ask them to put their litter in a bin.

Finally, if you see a piece of litter, don’t walk over it: deal with it.

By doing this you will make a difference.

”repetition

8

emotive language

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 54–55 1 a b c d e

I am going to the shop to buy some crisps and my dog needs to walk.

The shopping centre banned teenagers as they were bad news, they thought.

James and Amanda are going to France to learn to ski; I hope they enjoy it.

I can’t believe Top of the Pops is still going after all these years; it’s really amazing.

My English teacher is going to be really impressed with my improved writing skills.

2 a You will need a pen, a pencil and a ruler. b I had a great birthday, thanks.

OR I had a great birthday – thanks. c Jane likes Shakespeare; Caroline prefers modern drama. d The bread (which was actually put out for the birds) had been eaten by the cat.

OR The bread, which was actually put out for the birds, had been eaten by the cat.

OR The bread – which was actually put out for the birds – had been eaten by the cat.

3 a I’m 4 a he is 5 a b c d e

b it’s

c they’re

b let us

d you’re

c could have

e we’re

d can not

e we have

Lucy’s cats were hungry.

Let’s all go round to Wayne’s flat for a party.

I won all the prizes at my school’s sports day.

My town’s provision for young people is inadequate.

My brother’s car is a heap of junk.

9

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice tasks Pages 56–57 1 a buses b tries c potatoes d churches e children i tomatoes j businesses k calves l rushes run stop drop decide watch form admit prefer benefit state fight begin

running stopping dropping deciding watching forming admitting preferring benefiting stating fighting beginning

f sheep

g foxes

2 a b c d e f g h i j k l

to to to to to to to to to to to to

ran stopped dropped decided watched formed admitted preferred benefited stated fought began

3 a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p

accommodation assessment audience business embarrass explanation interesting marriage people receive secondary separate sincerely surprise tomorrow weird

4 a b c d e f g h i

Lance and Susan are looking forward to their holiday.

“Whose homework is this?” asked the teacher. “It doesn’t have a name!”

The old house was very creepy at night because it was so quiet.

“You may all go to lunch except Katie.”

You need to explain the effect of the metaphor.

Oh, look! My pen is over there.

“Who’s up for swimming?” asked Andrea.

I was quite pleased with my homework but the teacher didn’t seem impressed.

I’ve got to go up in assembly to accept a prize on behalf of my tutor group.

10

h cars

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: shorter writing task Page 58

LEVEL 3

(low)

Hi Luke, I’ve really enjoyed the alex rider books and I think you will as well because he is really brave and he has really good addventures and they are excitting. In the first book he stops a computer genues madman from taking over the world and he isn’t even thanked properly. I would like some prize or something for doing this but he is just sent back to school even through he has just saved the world which lets face it is a pritty big thing to do.

Read the book. Youl enjoy it lots.

From Ben This is level 3 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Simple connectives, such as ‘and’ and ‘but’.

• Sentences out of control – they are too long and need punctuation to make them make sense.

• It is not paragraphed.

Composition and effect • Aware of purpose and audience, although telling Luke the ending might spoil the book for him!

• Simple viewpoint, which means it is straightforward and doesn’t consider any more complicated ideas.

• Simple range of vocabulary. It would be better if it included more complex vocabulary.

Spelling • Lots of spelling errors, including simple words such as ‘adventures’, ‘pretty’ and ‘you’ll’.

11

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: shorter writing task Page 58 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

Hi Luke, Thanks for your email, there’s a book I’ve really enjoyed and I think you will as well.

The book is the first Alex Rider book and it’s called ‘Stormbreaker’; it’s really good.

It’s about a boy called Alex Rider, surprisingly enough. It’s got a really good start, all about when the doorbell rings in the middle of the night it means something bad has happened, which is true when you think about it.

Anyway, Alex has lots of adventures and he’s a bit like James bond cos he’s got loads of gagets like a gameboy that is also a bug detecter which is cool.

I really like Alex and I think I’d like to be a spy when I’m older – but he’s a spy at our age. It’d be really cool as you’ve got the gagets and can do whatever you like and the security services just cover it up and you get away with it.

In conclusion, you’ll like this book because it’s exciting, it’s original and it’s about someone who’s just like us. Read it!

See you soon, Sebastian This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Some range in sentence structures – it uses complex sentences to control the writing and show relationships between ideas.

• Clear paragraphing helps the reader follow the line of argument.

• Some complex sentences – these make the ideas seem more complex.

• Good use of connectives such as ‘Anyway’ and ‘In conclusion’. These help the reader to follow the line of argument and make the writing flow well.

• The ending is well crafted. The pattern of three – ‘it’s exciting, it’s original and it’s about someone who’s just like us’ – provides a strong conclusion to the whole piece. The pattern of three is a traditional technique that is often very powerful.

Composition and effect • Tone appropriate for the purpose. This means the writing is just right for an email from one teenager to another in a formal setting. Remember you are really writing for the examiner!

• Clear viewpoint supported by evidence. Sebastian is very clear about his reasons for recommending this book. He provides evidence to support his ideas and this makes us more likely to believe him.

• Suits the audience – the sign-off ‘see you soon’ is a good example.

Spelling • Simple and common polysyllabic words spelt accurately. ‘Polysyllabic’ means ‘more than one syllable’ and refers to words Sebastian has spelt correctly such as ‘surprisingly’ and ‘conclusion’. His spelling isn’t perfect, however, and he does spell more difficult words such as ‘gadgets’ and ‘detector’ incorrectly. This is part of the reason he stays on level 5.

12

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: shorter writing task Page 58 continued

LEVEL 7

(mid)

Dear Alex, Thanks for your email, it must get really boring stuck in hospital and you’ve made me feel bad about moaning about school – I’ll try to be more positive about it.

I’m really pleased you’re getting better and I can’t wait for you to come out – I’ve been reading more with you away so it’s funny you should ask me to recommend a book The best book I’ve read for a long time is the first of a series, which means there are more should you enjoy this one, starring a teenage spy called Alex Rider. Alex is only our age but he ends up being recruited by MI5 to go undercover. He doesn’t really want to, but they make him (I won’t spoil it by telling you how!)

Anyway, he has loads of really exciting adventures and ends up crashing through a roof! It’s such a good read; as soon as I finished it I went back to the school library to borrow the following book.

I really don’t want to give the plot away, but I can give you a few more details to explain why these books are so good. Firstly, Alex is funny and normal – he really could be you or me! Secondly, each chapter contains something exciting which means you don’t get bored. Finally, Alex has these really cool gadgets: a Gameboy which is also a bug decector, zit cream which dissolves metal and exploding chewing gum are just three of the wonderful things that have been invented for him Interested yet? Go on, give it a go, you’ll love it!

Sorry I don’t have more time to write but I want to get back to my book!

See you soon, Max This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Full range of sentence structures used to control the writing and create different effects.

• Ideas are developed and clarified – and, like Sebastian, Max provides evidence to support his ideas. However, he is better than Sebastian because he develops these ideas with more detail.

• Controlled and fluent. This email really flows well from the start to the finish. He has used a variety of techniques to do this such as the sentence structures, punctuation and connectives.

• Use of connectives, summarising and generalising. These also help the reader to follow the argument, especially, ‘firstly’, ‘secondly’ and ‘finally’.

• Range of punctuation to clarify meaning and create particular effects. Max is very fond of the dash ‘–’ and uses it to add ideas on. This is suitable in this piece of writing as it creates a sense of someone chatting informally to a friend, as he has been asked to do in this task.

Composition and effect • Tone matches task and audience. The structure and vocabulary help to create an informal but informative tone – exactly what is required.

• Thoughtful and supported. Max has obviously planned his ideas before writing.

• Developed and rounded. The whole email provides the details and ideas asked for.

Spelling • Accurate, including complex, irregular words. Max is a good speller and gets complex words such as ‘recommend’ and ‘dissolves’. However, he isn’t perfect – can you spot his error?

13

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to comment: shorter writing task Page 59

LEVEL 4

(low)

Basically we want to have a different uniform. Most people want to have a different uniform so the change needs to happen: 17% don’t want any uniform and 63% want a new uniform.

I think we should have jeans as the uniform. We can make sure they are not riped or to fasionabel. They would be good as a uniform because they would be pracital and everyones got jeans.

Then we could just wear blue tops or something. Obviously they can’t have logos on them because that starts fights and bulling which is bad and what uniform is ment to sort out. That’s why we want uniform anyway, but we want a new uniform.

This is level 4 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Sentences generally grammatically sound. However some, such as ‘Obviously they can’t have logos on them because that starts fights and bulling which is bad and what uniform is ment to sort out’ are not sound. This particular example should be split into shorter sentences as it contains too many different ideas.

• Some use of connectives, such as ‘because’ and ‘obviously’. These help the reader to follow the line of argument.

• Paragraphs are secure and help show how the commentary progresses.

Composition and effect • Aware of purpose and audience, although formality isn’t always sustained. Generally this needs to be more formal, but the run-on sentence makes it sound more like a rant rather than a considered comment.

• Clear viewpoint. The student manages to outline what the students want but there is only one point of view. It could be more sophisticated and show the different perspectives.

• Simple range of vocabulary.

Spelling • Some spelling errors, including of some simple words such as ‘meant’.

14

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 Writing to comment: shorter writing task Page 59 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

Uniform survay The students were asked what they wanted to do about uniform and all but 20% said they wanted a new uniform. Therefore we need a new uniform.

The girls want to wear trousers, but not the really nasty pleated trousers, they want nice ones (they don’t have to be to fashionable). The boys want to be able to wear trainers (they’ll wear black ones as they look like shoes but are more comfortable).

What you should do now You should ask a group of students to do some designs for a smart uniform and let the students vote on what they want. This would be good because it’s letting the students decide what they want and if they pick a smart uniform then they’ll wear it.

When you’ve got the results you can check it is not too fashionable and is good to work in.

Different uniform for GCSE It’s a good idea to have a different uniform for GCSE to show they are at the top of the school and this gives them more status. This will make them more responsible. Also, they don’t wear uniform properly at the moment, so this might make them do that.

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Clear structure – the sub-headings are a really good idea as they help to structure the response.

• Comments supported by evidence, such as ‘This would be good because …’ . This shows thought and means the comments have more substance.

• Some noun phrases such as ‘the really nasty pleated trousers’ help to add relevant detail and make the commentary come to life.

Composition and effect • Suitable level of formality. The structure and language is correct for the purpose and audience.

• Clear viewpoint supported by evidence. This commentary provides a clear answer for the Leadership Team. The evidence gives it authority.

• Appropriate stylistic features such as the sub-headings make this response work.

Spelling • Usually accurate although some careless errors such as the misspelling of ‘survey’ in the heading. This is careless because it is a word that was used on the question itself!

15

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to comment: shorter writing task Page 59 continued

LEVEL 7

(high)

Results of the uniform survey The survey demonstrated a comprehensive desire to change the current old-fashioned and impractical school uniform. It was felt that the current uniform was uncomfortable and restricted movement in lessons such as drama, especially for girls who would like the opportunity to wear trousers.

As a consequence we advise a change of uniform.

In order to get full student approval the survey suggests an elected team of students should help to design three uniforms from which the students could then choose via a vote. The uniform should be practical and simple, not replicating today’s fashions, but aiming to be timeless.

Furthermore, KS4 students would like to wear something slightly different, perhaps a different coloured jacket, to distinguish them from the lower school.

We suggest the following: 1. Ask students what they want in a uniform.

2. Elect a student group to contribute to the decision-making team.

3. Produce three options.

4. The whole school votes for the best uniform.

This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Range of sentence structures, including embedded subordinate clauses (‘The uniform should be practical and simple, not replicating today’s fashions, but aiming to be timeless.’).

These make the writing sophisticated and allow the writer to add in little comments which add to the whole commentary.

• Range of punctuation, used accurately, to support meaning and help the piece to flow.

• Good use of connectives such as ‘furthermore’ and ‘as a consequence’ to give clarity and move the ideas on.

Composition and effect • Tone and structure match purpose and audience.

• Appropriate and thoughtful. This commentary is balanced and provides real ideas and reasons for those ideas. This is exactly what is required.

• Range of stylistic devices, such as the numbered suggestions, help to make this a sophisticated piece of writing.

Spelling • Secure spelling , including advanced vocabulary such as ‘comprehensive’ and ‘distinguish’.

16

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: shorter writing task Page 60

LEVEL 4

(mid)

My grand-dad is really a little bit scary. He has a white beard and always smells of old people and really moans and groans about his knees and joints and stuff, I think he moans for attention really, but I’m not aloud to say that.

He’s seen loads of stuff and can be intresting when he talks about what his school was like but mainly he’s just a bit boring as he always thinks everything was better when he was younger. He doesn’t stop to think about the fact he’s now old and that is probly why life isn’t as good because he can’t do the stuff he used to it’s not the fault of life it’s just he’s old. I like him because he is my grand-dad but it does get a bit boring when we have to visit him and speak really clearly and then eat whatever horrible biscits he’s got not the nice ones we took.

This is level 4 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Sentences run on at times, e.g. the second sentence is too long and contains too many different ideas.

• Split into two paragraphs but could be broken down even more.

Composition and effect • Aware of purpose and audience, but vocabulary such as ‘stuff’ isn’t appropriate for a question where you are being tested on your writing. If the intended audience were a friend or family this wouldn’t be so bad; however, when no intended audience is mentioned you have to write for the examiner.

• Clear viewpoint but no sense of different perspectives or reactions to the ideas outlined.

• Simple range of vocabulary, which needs to be expanded to get a higher level.

Spelling • Some spelling errors, such as the confusion between ‘allowed’ and ‘aloud’

17

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: shorter writing task Page 60 continued

LEVEL 5

(low)

My great-granmother is really interesting because she was in the war and she’s got really interesting stories about the things that she did.

She was a taxi-driver and used to drive all the solders around and make sure they were in the right place. It was really unusual for a woman to do these things and she never stopped wearing trousers afterwards. She hated the food but she loved going to dances and being able to drive around all the time.

This has affected her today because she is still really strong, except for her legs which don’t work, and she still says what she thinks and makes her views known. She says the war was really good for women as it stopped her doing boring stuff. Other people in her nursing home get upset when she says this but I think it’s cool that she thinks this, even if I don’t like war.

I think she’s a strong and fasinating woman; I hope to be as strong as her when I’m her age.

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Range in sentence structures supports the comments. The semi-colon in the final paragraph links the ideas together.

• Clear paragraphing and development of ideas. The reader can easily follow the description.

• Some punctuation within complex sentences. This punctuation helps the reader to follow ideas.

Composition and effect • Clear viewpoint supported by evidence. This gives credibility to the description and helps it come to life.

• Appropriate stylistic features, such as the use of evidence and reported opinions.

• Other viewpoints recognised. This makes the piece more sophisticated and balanced.

Spelling • Mostly correct.

18

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: shorter writing task Page 60 continued

LEVEL 7

(high)

My great-grandmother is a fascinating and inspiring lady, even if she is slightly scary at times.

She has amazing stories of her experiences in the war; she was a taxi-driver for the army and got to see things she shouldn’t have seen and go places she shouldn’t have gone. She tells you her stories, and you can imagine every tiny detail: her memory really is amazing.

One of my favourite stories is when she helped a group of soldiers get back to their base after dark, when they should have been back hours ago. She got some ladders, put them in her car and drove to the back wall of the base, reversing right up to the wall. Working together, they balanced the ladders on the car and managed to climb up and over! Then she dismantled them and drove away without lights so she couldn’t be seen! Apparently the soldiers got away with it and they always made sure they had her as a driver after that!

The only problem with my great-grandmother is she gets really frustrated: she’s been all over the world and done so many things but now she’s stuck in a nursing home. I can understand her frustration but it really upsets my mum when we get home after visiting.

She’s a great person though, and I’m proud to be related to her.

This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Range of sentence structures used to develop the argument and clarify ideas.

• Use of colons and semi-colons is accurate and helps to structure and pace the description.

• Paragraphs of different lengths. This moves the writing on and creates impact (such as the last sentence being a paragraph by itself).

Composition and effect • Tone fits purpose and audience. This is a formal piece about a personal subject so this can be difficult to do.

• Individual viewpoint acknowledges other perspectives. The comment about the greatgrandmother being frustrated and the mother being upset shows understanding – this helps to create depth.

• Appropriate and individual style conveys thoughtful and balanced ideas.

Spelling • Accurate.

19

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 Writing to explain: shorter writing task Page 61

LEVEL 3

(high)

LEVEL 3

Dear Mum, This holiday sounds OK but I want to go to Disney-land floreda as thats what you promised last year and that will be the best thing we can go on and everyone will be jealous and thats the best!

At this glow-ing sands thing theres stuff to do but disney-land will be much better and you know it. We can go on all the rides and tom will like to see mikky and we can video it and that will be a memory you can keep for-ever.

If we still have to wait to go there we could go to glowing-sands as there is stuff to do like I could do the music and tom could do the art and you could do the relaxation.

This is level 3 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Sentences generally fine and different punctuation used (the exclamation mark) for effect.

However, these could be made more secure and interesting by making the sentences more complex with different punctuation.

• Modals used (‘can’, ‘could’) and these show there is room for discussion, which is appropriate for the task.

• Clearly paragraphed.

Composition and effect • Starts like a letter, which is wrong as this wasn’t asked for.

• Viewpoint clear at the start, but there is the idea of change at the end. This reads as if the student has changed their mind as they are writing. It’s better to plan an answer so this doesn’t happen. If different options are going to be included, this needs to be flagged up at the start of the answer.

• Reasons given for the opinions, which helps the reader to follow the answer.

Spelling • Simple words spelt correctly but some apostrophes missing. Some words are also hyphenated incorrectly.

20

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to explain: shorter writing task Page 61 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

This holiday sounds really good and I think we should go on it.

Mum will love the relaxation zone and will be able to sooth away the stress she always moans about. She can get beauty tips and gossipe with other mums who will also be there.

Mark can just play his gutare all week. That’s what he’d do wherever we go, so it’ll be fine for him. I know he says he hates organised music, but this could be really exciting and different.

I can learn to dive and windsurf which’ll be really cool. I really want to explore what’s under the sea and you know it’ll mean I’m doing it safely – which is what counts, really.

I think this’ll be fun for all of us and we can meet up to eat together in the evenings and then we’ll have something to talk about and we might actually talk rather than shout at Mark for playing his gutare all the time.

This could be just the thing our family needs: a chance to do what we all like doing without anyone feeling stressed that they’re having a bad time. I think this could be the holiday of our dreams. Lets go!

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Contains a range of sentence structures and supports ideas with reasons. These help the explanation.

• Clear paragraphing and development of ideas help the reader to follow the explanation.

• Some punctuation within sentences/complex sentences. However, some of them get out of control, e.g. the second to last paragraph. This needs to be split into shorter sentences with a range of punctuation.

Composition and effect • Clear viewpoint supported by evidence. This gives the explanation more authority.

• Appropriate stylistic features, such as the use of connectives to persuade: ‘I know he hates organised music, but this could be really exciting and different.’ These support the purpose.

• Recognises other’s viewpoints and addresses them, making the answer more sophisticated.

Spelling • Mostly correct.

21

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to explain: shorter writing task Page 61 continued

LEVEL 7

(low)

The holiday for us I know we all like doing different things, that’s why I think this is our ideal holiday.

There is something for each of us, and something different for every day for those of us who get bored quickly (that’s you I’m thinking of, Tim).

For example, Tim, you like music and outdoor sports. This holiday offers both of these at a really exciting level. If the weather’s good you can learn to windsurf or even dive; if bad you can stay in and improve your drumming. In fact, you might even meet your future super-star band members here!

Mum likes gardening and that’s available too. She can learn more about plants and develop her skills; this will be great for all of us as it might stop her killing things when we return home!

And as for me? Well I don’t really know where to start: can I try everything?

You see, it’s the holiday for us. You know it is.

This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Range of sentence structures used to develop the argument and clarify ideas. The use of add-in comments in brackets adds a sense of the personal, which is appropriate for this purpose and audience.

• Expanded noun phrases, such as ‘your future super-star band members’, add detail.

• Range of devices such as connectives give clarity and help the reader to follow the line of argument.

Composition and effect • Tone fits purpose and audience. The direct address to Tim really helps here.

• Individual viewpoint but sees the problems involved. The response makes it clear that the family will all want something different and addresses those issues.

• Appropriate and individual style showing thoughtful and balanced ideas. The summary of the different options for each family member shows the writer has thought of each of them.

Spelling • Accurate.

22

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing fiction: longer writing task Page 62

LEVEL 3

(high)

“Right whose first?” asked Ann in an excited way as the spaceship finally landed on the new planet. Outside it was all blue and strange mists where swirling around. “me” said Afsheen keenly “I want to go outside now and see what its like out there. Come on let me.

“You need to wait said mark it might not be safe you don’t know who or what is out there. “oh come on“ said Afsheen give it a rest weve been traveling for a year and that’s all you’ve said all the time its now getting a bit boring. I’am going out and that’s all there is to it. oh ok said mark who was bored of it all by this time go on then. You no you want to so go on.

Afsheen went outside and was eaten by the mists witch were maneating monsters.

This is level 3 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences out of control – they are too long and the ideas don’t make sense. They need to be punctuated carefully.

• Some speech marks but not consistent. The writer obviously knows how to use them, but forgets sometimes. A careful check at the end would have made this clear, which would have earned more points.

• Simple past tense speech and narration. This is good – the story makes sense, but would be much better if it was structured to create more tension.

Text structure and organisation • Clear, straightforward structure. This could be made more interesting.

• Some development of ideas, such as the danger outside. These could be made more exciting.

• It has narrative cohesion, which means it makes sense as a whole story.

Composition and effect • Characters introduced through speech. This gets a little boring as it’s for all the characters. Some description would make the writing more interesting.

• Some adverbs and interesting verbs, such as ‘swirling’.

• Consistent perspective shown. It is written from the same point of view, which makes it easy to follow. However, it might be more interesting to see other points of view.

23

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing fiction: longer writing task Page 62 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

“I can’t believe it’s finally upon us, “ Ann said with enthusiasm, “let’s get going!” She turned to her fellow space travellers as there spaceship landed on the planet and the dust settled. She wasn’t shocked to see Mark looking worried as usual.

“We need to test and check the area again.” Mark said with his usual caution.

“You are so predictable” Afsheet cried “just follow every rule twice and then you might consider it. Just remember why we are here!”

They looked at each other and slowly smiled. Although Mark was a nervous and double-checking sort of person he knew he wanted to see what was on Planet X but he also knew it was the most dangerous thing any human being had ever done. Ever. It was exciting to be one of the bravest of the human race.

The instruments beeped, “Beep” and they all smiled again. “That’s the all clear” said Ann. The door beeped twice, “beep beep” and Afsheen turned to the others with anticipation, “Well?” he asked.

“DO IT!” they shouted; the door hissed and opened to the new planet.

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures, which gives the piece more interest.

• Connectives clarify the narrative sequence and help the reader follow the events.

• Range of punctuation, mostly used accurately.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas. This makes the story more interesting.

• Paragraphs sequenced effectively. These help the story to flow and allow the reader to follow the events.

• Connectives such as ‘Although’ are used to make the narrative coherent. This means they help the story to flow in a way that makes sense.

Composition and effect • Narrative voice used to develop character and plot. The narration helps the reader to understand the characters and the events.

• Narrative viewpoint controlled to present clear view of characters and plot.

• Effective choice of vocabulary.

24

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing fiction: longer writing task Page 62 continued

LEVEL 7

(mid)

The air was finally silent.

Ann’s body was finally still.

They had landed on Planet X; the first humans ever to get this far into space; the first humans to land on this planet. If all went to plan they would also be the first humans to walk on Planet X. Ann forced herself to breathe. She turned to her team-mates hoping they wouldn’t see how ridiculously excited she was.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” came back the confirmation. Slightly nervous from Mark, she thought, but then, who wouldn’t be.

“Ive done the final checks. It all looks good. We can move to Phase F.” said Afsheen trying to disguise his desperation to get out there and explore. He knew the dangers. It was just he also knew of the adventure ahead. He was such an adrenalin junkie. Ann smiled to herself. She also wanted to get out there, get away from this spaceship after a whole painful year of being stuck inside it, drinking meals that tasted of chemicals and having to put up with these two!

She looked at the viewing screens again. It looked beautiful outside. Pink mists swirled around as if dancing, begging her to join them. The checks were clear; she would soon be out there.

“Come on Ann, get on with your tasks and stop daydreaming!” laughed Afsheen who was operating computer equipment as he spoke. She shook her head and did as he said.

Eventually, after all checks and double-checks and treble-checks were complete, they were ready.

Ann and Afsheen lined up to go into the air lock. Ann turned to pat Mark on the back, “here goes!” she said.

With a hiss the first door opened. They stepped through.

The air lock drained and external air was sucked in.

Afsheen signalled to continue and the exterior doors opened. They stepped out into the beauty of Planet X.

25

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing fiction: longer writing tasks Page 62 continued This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures and paragraph lengths manipulate the pace.

• Narrative controlled in a sophisticated way. The opening makes you think Ann is dead and then you realise she is in space – this is really clever as it involves the reader and makes the story exciting.

• Wide range of punctuation, such as the semi-colon.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled. It starts and ends really cleverly, making you want to read more.

• Cohesive and develops clearly. The story is easy to follow and interesting.

• Shaped and balanced. The story is the chapter that is asked for – it opens and ends in a clever way and makes you want to read on.

Composition and effect • Controlled sequencing of narration with careful use of dialogue. The student has obviously planned really carefully as it develops so well throughout the piece. Speech is used to add to the story and tell us more about the characters and events but it is not relied on to do the whole thing.

• Viewpoint effectively sustained throughout.

• Well-chosen vocabulary and images.

26

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: longer writing task Page 64

LEVEL 3

(high)

My town is really boring. It’s full of old people who moan at us kids when we get together. I mean, all we really do is hang out together but they call the police even though they can’t do anything as we haven’t done anything wrong and they know that.

There is nothing to do, and that’s the problem, as if we had something to do we wouldn’t all hang out by tesco. This is what needs to be changed. We need somewhere to go, but not a boring youth club, a skate park would be good, they’ve stopped us skating in the car park and said we damaged cars when we didn’t. They just hate young people.

Quite a lot needs to be changed to make this town a good place to live or visit. I’d say don’t bother and I’m going to move out as soon as I leave school.

It’s a good place if you like old moaning people who just moan all the time but not if your normal.

This is level 3 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences out of control. They are too long and contain too many different ideas. They need to be more carefully structured.

• Attempts to use commas but sometimes incorrect, e.g. ‘a skate park would be good, they’ve stopped us skating in the car park’.

• Simple opinion. There is only one point of view presented. The piece would have more strength if it considered the opinions of the other people mentioned.

Text structure and organisation • Clear, straightforward structure. This means the reader can follow the description easily but it also means it lacks depth and detail.

• Some development of ideas but it gets stuck with the same ones.

• Some evidence presented, which is useful as it supports the view put forward.

Composition and effect • Only one real argument. It is also very negative which does not make a particularly good piece.

• Personal opinion made clear. This is good, but it is too negative.

27

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: longer writing task Page 64 continued

LEVEL 5

(high)

My town My town is just one of those ordinary, sleepy, rather boring places that can be found everywhere.

It’s between two bigger towns so no-one really comes here, it’s just a place to live, and hang out if no-one stops you.

Local life If you are into growing marows or making your own wine there’s loads to do as that’s all people seem to do round here. My mum actually went to a local history talk the other day about some guy who used to live here. (That was quite good though as I then had my mates round.) There are things to do if you’re younger as well like music clubs and nusery. It’s just it’s a bit slow for the teenagers.

The best bits The best bits are the woods and lake where we’ve been going for years and now have some cool places to sit. But if you’re older you’ll like the town. There are places for kids like plate painting and the sports centre does a Saturday morning club, but that’s really for kids not teenagers.

Things that need to be changed Basically, as you’ve probably guessed, we need more things for teenagers to do. At the moment we just go round each other’s houses and play the computer or watch tv. That’s fine, but there really should be something for us. Lots of people would like a skate ramp and even the skaters would go there to hang out, so that would be a good thing.

My overall impression Well, what do you think? Overall my town is ok; it’s great if you’re a young kid or an adult, but not so good if you’re a teenager. That makes it ok overall.

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures, which makes the writing more interesting and helps the writer to say exactly what they mean.

• Embedded subordinate clauses, such as ‘as you’ve probably guessed’, help to engage the reader by addressing them directly.

• Range of punctuation, mostly accurate. This includes commas, apostrophes and brackets.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas. This helps the reader to understand what is being described.

• Paragraphs well sequenced. Sub-headings help the reader to navigate the description and understand how the line of thought develops. The piece develops logically.

Composition and effect • Clear voice engages and sustains reader’s interest. Although the piece has some informal moments, e.g. when it gives personal stories, it doesn’t bring the piece down too much because the task did ask for personal opinions.

• Rhetorical question, ‘Well, what do you think?’ helps sustain reader’s interest and asks them to actively think about the content of the description.

• Good choice of vocabulary. It isn’t complex, but it is appropriate for the task. If it were more complex it would help the piece to improve.

28

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: longer writing task Page 64 continued

LEVEL 7

(mid)

My Town – worth a visit?

Sleepy, pretty and just a little bit dull: that’s my town for you! If you just drive through you’ll be left with an impression of chocolate-box houses and gardens, which is fair enough: the houses and gardens are pretty. It’s just that pretty doesn’t always make somewhere a good place to live.

The beautiful setting is matched by a sleepy atmosphere, at least, sleepy on the surface. When you’ve lived here for a few years (as I have), you’ll realise it’s actually full of really bored teenagers who simply have nothing to do in the evenings if they can’t nag a parent or older sibling into driving them out of the place.

Local Life – what’s going on As you will have guessed from what I’ve already written, there’s not much going on if you can’t get out of the place. The cinema, sports centre, ice-rink and youth club are all in the next town – 7 miles away! There are shops, I’ll give you that, but what teenager wants to shop in the Ye Olde Corner Shoppe more than once a week (and that’s if they let you in, but I won’t go there).

If you are an old person this must be a great place. You can wander around and drink tea with your friends day after day. If you’ve got a car, this must be a great place: you can get out. If you are a kid, this must be a great place: you can meet your friends at the primary school. It’s just once you hit secondary school age it all goes horribly wrong. Just imagine: I actually look forward to coming to school just so I can see my mates and do something!!! Surely that’s unhealthy for a thirteen year-old boy??!

The best bits Well, these obviously depend on the sort of person you are, but here’s mine: • The school bus – it’s generally late but it provides a good opportunity to gossip about what happened at school the day before.

• The Ye Olde Corner Shoppe – let’s face it, they do a good range of sours.

• The tree in my garden – ok, so I’m stretching it a bit. But it is a good tree. The best!

And that’s about it. Sorry.

Things that need to be changed This is a difficult one. OK, so the place is hopeless for teenagers, but there are only 7 of us.

Maybe we just need a regular bus route? Or enough money for taxis out of here (dream on). My mum loves it here and is always going on about the fresh air and peaceful surroundings. She wouldn’t change a thing.

Overall Well, overall I reckon this is a good place to live if you can get out when you need to. Without transport you’ll go mad!

29

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to describe: longer writing task Page 64 continued This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures. There are simple, compound and complex sentences, all used to lead the reader and control the pace and tone.

• Ideas controlled and in a sophisticated way. The writer takes you with him to the conclusion and manages to give you a real sense of his village.

• Wide range of punctuation used to enhance meaning and create particular effects. The pattern of three complex sentences, ‘If you … , this must be a great place …’ is a sophisticated technique that is used to very good effect.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled. The whole piece really takes you through the experience of living in this village as a teenager. By the end you are really on the side of the writer.

• Cohesive and develops clearly. This is obviously planned as it develops confidently towards a shaped ending. Every part of it contributes to the whole.

Composition and effect • Attractive voice, clear and engaging. This piece is enjoyable to read.

• Viewpoint effectively sustained throughout. Although there is one viewpoint promoted, it does show an awareness and understanding of other responses to the village.

• Well-chosen examples and ideas.

30

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to inform: longer writing task Page 66

LEVEL 4

(high)

Dear Uncle Brian School is really pressured at the moment as weve just done our options choices for next year. I’ve chosen geography, music, graphics and electronics, I’ve also got to do English, maths, science and german ( ).

I’m looking forward to the graphics and electronics as they are really good and really practical. I really hope I get Mr Batt in graphics, as he’s really funny and a cool teacher, he makes it all really easy and he’s the one who told me to take graphics.

Options aren’t really options anymore as there are more subjects you have to do than are allowed to choose, like german – I don’t want to take that. I’ve never been to Germany and don’t really want to, but I have to take it, it’s all a bit of a con.

My school is quite good though – there are loads of extra-curricular activities to do. I’m in the football team and so I go to training after school twice a week (when I’m not in detention). We are a good team, I reckon we’ll get to the semis if not the final, it depends on the conditions and the state of the opposition, there are two teams better than us.

Lessons are the same as usual, there are the boring teachers who just tell you to get on with it and there are the ones who try and make it fun and they’re good. At the end of the day school is school.

I get there at 8.30, or sometimes a bit late and either leg it out at 3.40 or go to football which is a good way to finish the day.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about school, it isn’t really that interesting. I’ll tell you about the football after are next match.

Yours, Malcolm This is level 4 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences run on with commas joining clauses, e.g. the second sentence in paragraph 2.

This should be written either as shorter sentences, or with a semi-colon to make it a complex sentence. At the moment too much information is presented as being of the same value – this is hard for a reader to follow.

• Dashes used appropriately. They tend to be used in more informal writing, but they are used correctly and are appropriate for this task, in which the intended audience is a relative.

• Simple ideas, can easily be followed. However, the piece would benefit from more detail.

Text structure and organisation • Clear, straightforward structure, using paragraphs effectively.

• Some development of ideas. This would be a better information piece if more detail was included and the ideas were developed more fully.

• Evidence presented to support ideas, which helps the reader understand the whole piece.

Composition and effect • Covers the main areas but does not make any effort to provide any extra detail.

• Clear voice, engaging and direct.

31

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to inform: longer writing task Page 66 continued

LEVEL 5

(high)

Dear Aunty Margaret Thank you for your letter, I’ve just done my options choices at school so that’s been the biggest thing to happen, really. In fact, it’s made me feel really grown up – I can’t believe I’ve just made choices about my future – I’m thirteen for goodness sake; far too young for that sort of thing.

Right, so what have I chosen? Well, you don’t actually get that much of a choice as there’s so many you HAVE to do (English, maths, science, German) for starters. I’ve gone for geography as I’ve always liked that and the teacher’s really cool, then I’ve picked music (shouldn’t be too difficult as I play the piano), graphics and electronics. Electronics is new to me, but it sounds good and Mr Dinning’s really fun and everyone really likes him.

It’s really difficult though, I don’t have a clue what I want to do when I leave school (well, I hope to go to university and have fun for three years like Matt did!!) It sort of seems wrong that we have to make these decisions now, although I’m really pleased I don’t have to do drama ever again (that’s just such an embarrassing lesson).

Is it really that different from when you were at school? I bet not. Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t do electronics, but the English, maths, science etc etc must be the same.

Right, time to do my homework, see you when we visit in the summer!

Bye for now!

Alex This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures. This helps to shape the piece and make it more interesting to read.

• Dashes and brackets used appropriately.

• Range of punctuation, mostly used accurately.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas. This helps the reader to follow and understand the letter.

• Paragraphs well sequenced. A new paragraph is started for each new shift in topic. This helps the reader follow the information.

• Connectives, such as ‘although’ and ‘Right,’ are used to lead the reader through the piece.

Composition and effect • Clear voice engages and sustains reader’s interest. This is a letter to a relative so the chatty tone and structure is appropriate.

• Bracketed asides, e.g. ‘(Well, I hope to go to university and have fun for three years like Matt did!!),’ bring the letter to life and add character.

32

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 Writing to inform: Longer writing task Page 66 continued

LEVEL 7

(high)

Dear Great Uncle Quentin Thank you for your letter, it was really interesting to read of your school days – I can’t believe you were such a rebel!!! Mine are really boring in comparison, but the biggest thing that’s happened recently has been option choices.

When we get to the end of Year 9 (as I am now), we are allowed to drop some subjects and start specialising; it’s a bit of a scary prospect, actually, as it means I’ve got to start thinking of a career!!! Anyway, I’ve just made my option choices and so I thought I’d tell you what I’ve chosen.

Firstly, I have to keep the core subjects – this means English, maths, science and a language. This is fine by me because they are all going to be really useful and are exams you have to have for university and the future. They are all interesting and taught by good teachers so I should be fine, although I’m told you get loads of English homework in KS4.

So what have I chosen? Well, I’ve tried to pick a mix that will give me a balance but also things that I find interesting (there’s no point doing something you can’t stand). My first choice was geography. I chose this because it’s fairly interesting and the teacher’s crazy (in a good way!) We have to work hard, but when we’ve done the work she writes competitions and challenges for us to do. I really hope I get her next year.

My second choice was electronics. I really wanted to try something new and this fits with my interest in physics and maths. I’m not sure where it’ll lead me, but I’ll have a fun 2 years, inventing new things – you never know, I might invent an amazing new product and be a millionaire by the time I come to sit my GCSEs! (or not!!!)

Finally, I’ve chosen digital photography which is my ‘fun’ choice. I’m really looking forward to this one as the module I did of it earlier this year was brilliant and the work that the students have produced is really professional looking. Dad was a little worried this was going to be a waste of a GCSE choice, but with all the others I’ve got to do I persuaded him I needed a ‘fun’ choice – let’s hope it’s as good as I think it’ll be.

Right, hope that’s all clear. I’ll hopefully be able to bring some of my photos when we next come and visit and then we’ll see if I’ve wasted my options or not!

Looking forward to seeing you in the summer, Lots of love, Georgie

33

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to inform: longer writing task Page 66 continued This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures. The complex sentences, such as the first sentence of paragraph 2, offer lots of ideas but the punctuation is used to guide the reader through carefully. Putting information in brackets lets us know it is extra and is appropriate for a letter to a relative. Exclamation marks would also be avoided if it were for any other sort of audience.

• Ideas controlled and in a sophisticated way. The piece is obviously planned as it develops naturally and is clear to follow.

• Wide range of punctuation. The informal asides work really well here but it can be difficult to make this work.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled to engage and guide the reader through it. Starter phrases such as ‘So what have I chosen?’ signal what is likely to come next and help us to receive the information.

• Cohesive and well developed. Everything in this piece contributes to the meaning of the whole.

• Shaped and balanced. Georgie rounds the letter off by mentioning a future meeting rather than just stopping suddenly. It also sets up a future conversation – a very sophisticated and mature thing to do!

Composition and effect • Attractive voice, clear and engaging.

• Viewpoint well sustained. Georgie doesn’t change her mind about any of the topics she writes about. This shows she has planned before starting to write.

• Well-chosen examples and ideas. Examples always help ideas to come to life.

34

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: longer writing task Page 68

LEVEL 4

(mid)

This music player is going to be the one that breaks all sales figures and everyone will have one so buy yours quickly before they sell out.

It’s got great features and I wasn’t really sure that they’d work before I tried it but I have tried it now and it’s great, but don’t just take my word for it, have a go for yourself.

But before you try for yourself look at what it can do: • It looks like a watch and does what a watch does but it also plays your mp3’s • You can put loads of tracks onto it – 10000 which is loads, could you fill that up • It’s really good quality and you listen through headphones without wires which is really cool as it means you could get away with wareing it at school and the teachers wouldn’t be able to spot it, as long as you’ve got long hair.

It really works! I wore it all last week and no-one realised I wasn’t listening to them – a great thing when you’re mum is nagging and teachers are going on and on and on and on!!!

This is a great new gaget and I think you should get one now!!!

This is level 4 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences run on with commas or connectives joining clauses. This makes them difficult to follow. They need to be broken into shorter sentences or complex sentences with semi-colons or colons to direct the reader to understand which part of the sentence is more important.

• Dashes used appropriately. Other punctuation marks also need to be used correctly to get a higher level.

• Simple ideas, which can be followed. More detail and complex ideas would push up the level.

Text structure and organisation • Clear structure, using paragraphs and bullets. The use of bullet points is particularly good as it helps the reader pick out the key aspects of this product. Reviews often use this sort of structure.

• Some development of ideas. There is an awareness that detail is required but there is not enough.

• Evidence presented to support ideas, such as the personal information about wearing the product. This helps bring the product to life and helps the reader to understand how it might perform in the real world – something a review is meant to do.

Composition and effect • Main areas covered but lacking detail.

• Clear voice, engaging and direct, making the review good.

• Not always appropriate for purpose and audience. This is a shame – it really would not take much to turn this into a level 5 review.

35

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: longer writing task Page 68 continued

LEVEL 5

(high)

Music Wrap The great new gadget that’s going to change the world.

This job is great sometimes as I’m able to get my hands on the new best gadget before it hits the shops. Today was one of those days and I’m so excited about this new music player.

The thing that makes it special is it doesn’t look like a music player: it looks like a watch! (although it is a bit chunky) This watch does everything you’d want from a watch like telling the time, but it is also a music player. Yes, you can download your mp3s and play them from this music watch.

Yeah, but then I’ve got to trail a wire up my sleeve, I hear you cry! Well, no, you don’t, because the headphones for this beauty are wireless!!! Yes, two great new inventions in one! Just tuck the phones into your ears, select your track, press play and there you have it: music in your ears!

Pros: You can’t lose it, it’s always with you, no-one knows you’re listening to music.

Cons: the watch is a bit chunky (but this is just the first release). It could be easy to lose the headphones.

Overall rating: FANTASTIC GO GET ONE TODAY! This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures makes the writing more interesting and controls the ideas.

• Dashes and brackets used appropriately.

• Range of punctuation, mostly used accurately. However, speech marks are missing for, ‘Yeah, but then I’ve got to trail a wire up my sleeve’.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas. The detail about the job provides a context which helps us understand how much value to place on this review. It makes the writer appear to be an expert – exactly the person we’d want to review a product.

• Paragraphs sequenced effectively. Each paragraph moves the review on with a new aspect of the product.

• Final section appropriate (‘Pros’, ‘Cons’ and ‘Overall rating’) for a review. It helps to shape the answer effectively.

Composition and effect • Clear voice engages and sustains reader’s interest.

• Appropriate for purpose and audience. This is clearly a review rather than an advertisement or personal response, both forms of writing that students might be tempted to produce.

36

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: longer writing task Page 68 continued

LEVEL 7

(high)

MusicWrap: the new best way to listen to your music?

What a great concept: I was looking forward to this test and review from the moment I heard about it. A music player, disguised as a watch, with wireless headphones: what could go wrong?

Unfortunately, quite a lot.

The box arrived and I ripped open the cellophane wrapping, just as we all do in real life (it’s an essential part of a new toy, really!). Running my hand over the pristine box I savoured my colleagues’ jealousy; it had been a real battle to get this assignment. I opened the box, pulled out the shaped cardboard tray and …

I was greeted by a chunky, plastic, 80s watch. Something I wouldn’t normally be seen dead wearing.

With laughter pealing around I defiantly put the watch on. And then I put it on again, higher up my arm so it would be hidden by my sleeve.

I started following the very complicated instructions regarding downloading my MP3s but then gave up and called the helpline. I’m reviewing their product: I’ll get the best help.

At least that’s what I thought. It didn’t happen. After 2 hours and 12 minutes (my phone’s got a call timer) I went back to the instructions. Then I threw it open to everyone in the office.

Now, we’re a bunch of gadget-geeks. We love gadgets. We live for then, love them, dream of them. We couldn’t get it to work.

And at this stage I gave up.

The product is too ugly to wear out, we can’t figure out how to use it and the support line is just a money-eating ‘please hold, we value your custom’ affair. It’s a pity as I was ready to make this the product of the decade: I wanted to make it the product of the decade. But I can’t, and I can’t even recommend it to you either. Sorry about that, but that’s bad design for you.

Now where’s my iPod…?

37

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to review: longer writing task Page 68 continued This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures. These bring the review to life as they control the pace of the piece.

• Ideas controlled and in a sophisticated way. The overall structure is clearly planned and shaped to entertain as well as review.

• Wide range of punctuation. The use of direct comment to the reader really helps to connect with the reader.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled to engage and guide the reader. Structures such as the patterns of three and the building phrases such as ‘It’s a pity as I was ready to make this the product of the decade: I wanted to make this the product of the decade’ show the relationship between the product and the final opinion as expressed by the reviewer.

• Cohesive and develops clearly. It flows easily and the reader can see how the writer was disappointed by the product – making the bad review seem even worse.

Composition and effect • Attractive voice, clear and engaging. The piece reads very personally – it is as if the reviewer is talking directly to the reader. This works well for a review as we need to trust the person reviewing the product. However, the reviewer is careful to maintain authority by mentioning the number of products s/he reviews so this doesn’t just become a personal rant.

• Viewpoint effectively sustained throughout.

• Well-chosen examples and ideas.

38

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to advise: longer writing task Page 70

LEVEL 3

(high)

Dear Planning officer, I have just heard that you are thinking of building a supermarket on our skatepark. I am writing to say not to do this as it is the only thing the kids in this town have got and it is just another eg of you ignoring kids when we are your future. Yes I no it will provide jobs, and I could probably get a sat job there, wheeling trollies around, but that is not the point, the point is that we need somewhere to go and that skatepark is our place.

Is the skatepark a problem? No. it keeps us quite and out of trouble and I think that should be the priority, not another supermarket, there are three already so why do we need a new one?

We don’t.

Also, all the local small shops will go out of business, includeing the newspaper shop where I’ve got a paper round so I’ll loose my job as well.

I am a local person and this is what I think.

Yours angrily, Roger Fisher This is level 3 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences out of control. They run on, often using commas instead of full stops. This makes the letter difficult to read and the opinion more difficult to follow.

• Commas used but often incorrectly. It is good to use punctuation, but it must be correct.

The letter would be better with every sentence as a simple sentence.

• Simple opinion presented. There is no real sense of any other way of dealing with the situation. This makes the letter seem very angry, not really appropriate for advice.

Text structure and organisation • Clear, straightforward structure. Paragraphs help the reader to follow the letter.

• Some development of ideas. Some of the ideas, such as the skatepark being a potential problem, are addressed but they are not explored with enough detail.

• Some evidence presented. Evidence is really useful, especially when writing to advise, but this letter needs more.

Composition and effect • Main areas covered. This is good but more detail would improve it.

• Good use of rhetorical question ‘Is the skatepark a problem?’. This is a strong part of this response as it shows some awareness of another point of view and acts as a connective to guide the reader through the response.

• Personal opinion made clear.

39

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to advise: longer writing task Page 70 continued

LEVEL 5

(high)

Dear Mr Planning Officer I am writing to make my objections to the supermarket being built on the skatepark known.

My reasons are as follows: Firstly, we need the skate park as a creative and safe place for the teenagers of this town to go.

Many towns have problems with their teenagers having nothing to do: we don’t have those problems and that’s mainly due to the skatepark.

Secondly, the teenagers of this town raised the money for that park to be built. My brother did loads of sponsored events and collected £100s of pounds towards it. Are you now saying his really hard work was wasted as you’re just going to give the land away? That’s not fair!

Finally, do we really need another huge supermarket? The town has got three of these already and surely that’s enough? How many of these places do we really need? We’ve got three big supermarkets and lots of little local shops; these might go out of business if you let the supermarket change our town for the worst.

Thank you for listening to my views, I am sure you will make the right decision and NOT let the supermarket destroy our town.

Yours faithfully, Jane Cutler This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, e.g. ‘Many towns have problems with their teenagers having nothing to do: we don’t have those problems and that’s mainly due to the skatepark’.

• Range of punctuation, mostly used accurately.

• Ideas linked by a range of devices, such as connectives and punctuation.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas. Detail really helps a piece of writing to live in the mind of the reader.

• Paragraphs sequenced effectively and the use of connectives such as ‘firstly’, ‘secondly’ and ‘finally’ really helps lead the reader through the letter.

Composition and effect • Clear voice engages and sustains reader’s interest. It appears balanced as it considers other points of view, but when you read carefully it is very much in favour of the skatepark.

• Good use of rhetorical questions.

• Appropriate for purpose and audience. This ‘advice’ is very one-sided, but gives the impression of considering both sides of the situation.

40

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing to advise: longer writing task Page 70 continued

LEVEL 7

(mid)

Dear Mr Taylor (Planning Officer), I wish to register my objection to the planning application made by Foods’R’us to build a new store where the skatepark currently is. My objection to this application is based on knowledge of what the local community needs and wants.

Firstly, there is the loss of the skatepark to consider. This was built with funds raised after a lengthy campaign by local families; to wipe it out would be a massive insult to them and make their time and effort worthless. This would not be a popular or good move.

Secondly, the skatepark is an essential aspect of life for this town. It provides local teenagers with a safe and secure place to meet; as well as keeping them out of everyone else’s way. I know some people think we are a threat, all hanging together at the park, but just come and talk to us and you will see we are not.

In addition, without the skatepark there will be nothing for us to do, as well as nowhere to go, and bored teenagers could lead to trouble in the town.

Next we must consider the need of the local community for another supermarket. Considering we already have three large businesses of this sort, I am at a loss to understand why another is needed. Currently the town gets on really well, with small, local businesses balancing the huge multinational. If this balance is changed it will change the whole nature of the town as local shops will have to close down and local people will lose their livelihoods. Who could want that?

In conclusion, I ask you to reject the planning application and think of the needs of the town before the needs of the anonymous supermarket giant.

Thank you for your time, Andrea Plumtree This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures. Complex sentences allow lots of ideas to be presented, and the relationship between them indicated.

• Ideas controlled and in a sophisticated way. The paragraphs build the ideas up gradually and in layers – this helps to add strength to the whole piece.

• Wide range of punctuation used to enhance meaning and connect with the reader.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled to engage and guide the reader. This must have been planned carefully as it builds up so carefully and concludes with real strength from the careful argument.

• Cohesive and develops clearly. All the small ideas fit together and add to the whole letter.

Composition and effect • Attractive voice, clear and engaging. Although this letter is promoting one point of view it does not appear aggressive, which can be off-putting. It appears to be a considered and logical point of view.

• Viewpoint effectively sustained throughout. The use of evidence and detail helps this.

• Good use of rhetorical devices, such as the rhetorical question and pattern of three.

41

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 74

LEVEL 3

(high)

Dear governers, I think the money should be spent on Astroturf and lighting so we can play football all year round and in the dark as well.

This would be good for the school because it would mean we weren’t recking the grass when we aren’t meant to and it would also be better for people to watch because they could have seating and it can be floodlit and that would be great to watch.

This might even make more money for the school because we could let clubs and local people use the Astroturf at the weekends and charge them money for it So all round this would be good for the school. We’d also get better at football and would win all the competitions so everyone would know we were the best and that would also be good for the school. Wouldn’t you like us to be on the front page of the paper as the winners?

The other ideas are silly.

I hope you do my idea, Yours sincerely, Peter Cutler Year 9 Football Captain Ps we could always wear shirts with this Liz Days name on them.

This is level 3 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Sentences out of control e.g. the second paragraph is all one sentence without any punctuation. This means the ideas aren’t presented in a way that can be clearly understood.

• Some simple connectives used, but these let sentences run on. It’s good to use the connectives such as ‘and’ and ‘because’ but these are used when full stops are what’s really needed.

• Simple opinion presented. Adding the comment, ‘The other ideas are silly’ makes the response itself seem silly.

Text structure and organisation • Clear, straightforward structure. There are paragraphs, which helps the reader to follow the argument.

• Some development of ideas. Some reasons are given, such as ‘This might even make more money for the school’ – if these were extended and developed this would be even better.

• Some evidence presented. However, once again more is required.

Composition and effect • Main areas covered, but the letter could be more imaginative and provide more ideas.

• Good use of rhetorical question ‘Wouldn’t you like us to be on the front page of the paper as the winners?’. This is really effective as it is just the sort of thing the Governors would be interested in.

42

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 74 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

Dear Governors, Thank you for the opportunity to explain my point of view on this very important subject; it is good to know that the students have a voice in this school.

Deciding how to spend this generous gift is a responsibility, but everyone knows that the school’s sports facilities are in need of improvement. Sports is essential for a healthy life, and experts have conducted many studies where they have shown sport helps you to study and keep fit. Therefore, I suggest we spend the money on sports equipment.

I conducted a survey of Year 9 students, remember, these students are in the middle of their school time and so know what the school needs, and will be able to benefit from any purchase.

They all said sports stuff was needed. Lots of the boys want it to be spent on football and cricket and the girls said a swimming pool. Maybe we should split the money and have a swimming pool and more football stuff. That would keep everyone happy.

Swimming is an essential skill. If you can swim your chances of drowning are reduced (although you can drown in 5 cms of water). Therefore, I think we should buy a swimming pool. Who knows how many lives this might save?

I look forward to the pool opening, Thanks for listening!

Sally Archer This is level 5 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as the first one.

• Range of punctuation, mostly used accurately. This shows the student is really trying to control and manipulate the language to support her ideas.

• Connectives, such as ‘Therefore,’ are used within paragraphs to develop ideas. They show the relationship between the survey and the recommendation, so are very powerful.

Text structure and organisation • Detail used to develop ideas.

• Paragraphs generally well sequenced, although there is a feeling that the ideas change as the writing continues. If the student had planned more carefully she might not have made this error. It is a major one, and is a key factor in preventing her getting a higher level.

Composition and effect • Clear voice engages and sustains reader’s interest.

• Good use of rhetorical question ‘Who knows how many lives this might save?’.

• Mostly appropriate for purpose and audience but it could be more formal considering the audience.

43

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 74 continued

LEVEL 7

(high)

Dear Chair of Governors, I have just heard of the generous gift by Liz Day and am pleased to be able to offer some ideas as to how to spend this money.

Everybody knows that exercise is vital for a healthy life, whether a child or an adult. However, did you know that students today spend more time sitting still behind desks than ever before? These two facts are compelling reasons to spend the money on developing our sports provision.

Experts have conducted many research projects that show 20 minutes exercise every day helps learning as well as developing health and strength. If, as a school, we provide this opportunity for our students, we will not only be helping them grow, but also to learn. How can we ignore this opportunity?

The obvious way to spend this generous gift is on our sports provision; this will make a significant difference to the lives of our students and staff, and the money is for the whole school. If we build a swimming pool we will also be able to ensure every member of our school community has the vital life skill of swimming. We will also be able to hire the pool out in evenings and at weekends and make loads of money for the school; all round this is a fabulous opportunity.

I hope you will take these ideas on board and investigate them fully. I would be happy to help wherever possible.

Thank you for your time; it’s good to know we students have a voice.

Yours faithfully Sue Jones This is level 7 because: Sentence structure and punctuation • Wide range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, used skilfully.

• Ideas controlled and in a sophisticated way. The letter involves and manipulates the reader, making the suggestions appear to be the only logical way to proceed.

• Wide range of punctuation enhances meaning and connects with the reader.

• Rhetorical questions used to good effect, as is the final complex sentence.

Text structure and organisation • Shaped and controlled to engage and guide the reader. This letter has obviously been planned carefully as it develops each idea fully, with appropriate detail, and builds up to a convincing conclusion.

• Cohesive and develops clearly.

• Shaped and balanced.

Composition and effect • Attractive voice, clear and engaging. The ideas are conveyed strongly, but the piece is not aggressive.

• Viewpoint effectively sustained throughout. The piece is focused and all the examples and ideas are used to drive it forward.

• Good use of rhetorical devices, especially rhetorical questions.

44

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 76

LEVEL 3

(mid)

Ideas for new TV show I think the new show needs to be like a teenage ‘Richard and Judy’ as they are really good but the stuff they talk about is a bit boring and teenagers want presentors and guests that are teenage, or just over rather than old peple. The new show should have teenage or early 20s presenters, like they do on T4 in the mornings, they are good for teenagers. And the stuff they do should be pop stars and film stars and movies and sports and stuff.

This would be a good show and everyone would watch it.

This is level 3 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Simple connectives used, such as ‘and’ and ‘as’. More sophisticated connectives would help this to move up a level.

• Sentences out of control. The ideas are just listed without punctuation – they need to be structured in sentences.

• Ideas not paragraphed.

Composition and effect • Aware of purpose but style does not match audience – it is too colloquial.

• Simple viewpoint. Awareness of other viewpoints would help move up a level.

• Simple range of vocabulary. More complex vocabulary would help make this more precise and interesting.

Spelling • Lots of spelling errors, including simple words such as ‘presenters’ and ‘people’.

45

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 76 continued

LEVEL 5

(mid)

Ideas for new Teen TV Show The research shows teenagers want people their own age, or slightly older. This is key to developping this new show. It needs to be fast, fun and furious and that’ll pull in the viewers.

The presenters We need late teenage/early 20s presenters and they’ve got to be good looking. A boy and a girl will attract boys and girls watching. They should be fasionable and funny, and not talk down to the viewers as if they’re stupid or young.

The show The show needs to be a magazine show; this means like a magazine that you can dip into and nothing goes on too long to get bored, but it’s not all fast and crash/bang.

There should be a good band on every week, not just the sad soap star who wants a pop carer, but proper bands who are at the top of the charts (maybe the download charts as there more realistic?)

Everyone likes adventure sports, so there could be something on them.

This show’s going to be great!

This is level 5 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation: • Range in sentence structures, including complex sentences such as the third paragraph.

• Clear paragraphing and development. The ideas are structured to allow the reader to follow them. The paragraphs also move the ideas on in a logical way. The sub-headings help this.

Composition and effect • Clear viewpoint supported by evidence.

• Appropriate stylistic features, such as the sub-headings, support the purpose.

• Answer focused on the task.

Spelling • Mostly correct, but errors in words such as ‘fashionable’ and ‘developing’.

46

ENGLISH WORKBOOK 3–7 ANSWERS Writing: practice paper Page 76 continued

LEVEL 7

(mid)

Teenage TV – the new top show This exciting project could revolutionise TV today. Teenagers need programmes made for them that don’t patronise them or bore them to death. My analysis of the research results suggests the following will be a winner: Teen TV: A show that engages and excites teenagers across the country • The magazine-style show is popular; we should aim for a teenage-style Richard and Judy – maybe we can get Ant and Dec? • Live music from the top bands, and interviews where they talk about making music.

• Decent competitions means viewers will engage with the programme – we need to find a sponsor so we can have substantial prizes (mobile phone? iPod? adventure holidays?).

• Each item must be fast-paced and have a link to the audience – not whoever wants to promote their book/new show/film.

• It must be professional and slick; this audience knows when it’s being patronised.

• Dating and relationship tips: maybe include some psychology/relationship advice?

• Fashion – cutting edge, real fashions – not just baseball caps and hoodies!

Key tasks will be balancing the content to match the audience age and gender range.

The most important thing is finding the right presenters.

This is level 7 because: Sentence structure, punctuation and text organisation • Full range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. The bullet points are also a good way of organising this type of task.

• Ideas developed and clarified through the answer. They show real thought about the task and the ideas are explained clearly.

• Range of punctuation, such as the bullet points and sub-headings, used to clarify meaning and create particular effects.

Composition and effect • Tone matches task and audience. The student sounds authoritative without being aggressive. It reads as if it’s written by an expert who really knows his/her stuff.

• Imagines and explores ideas fully. There are lots of ideas provided and the answer covers a wide range of issues, all of which are relevant to the task.

• A developed and rounded answer, which must have been carefully planned as it develops so naturally.

Spelling • Accurate, including complex irregular words such as ‘substantial’ and ‘psychology’.

47