CONNECTING THE BLUEGRASS LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY
Betsy Donelson
Lexington’s LoveABLE Warrior JULY 2018 - VOL 40 / NO. 7 - A Publication of the PCSO
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For you. Your Family. Your Allies. Lexington - July 10th 6:30pm St. Michael’s Episcopal Church Topic: “What does being part of the Pride Community mean?” Frankfort - July 10th 5:30pm Unitarian Universalist Community
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IN THIS ISSUE FEATURE
JULY 2018 VOL 40 / NO. 7
Betsy Donelson
Lexington’s LoveABLE Warrior page 14
Meet Betsy Donelson, founder of LoveABLE, the PCSO Pride Center’s newest support group. Read her inspirational story about being an activist, artist, and inclusion advocate warrior.
FEATURE
THE KENTUCKY FRIED SISTERS
A Question and Answer
page 16
Have you ever wondered about those colorful Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at the Pride Festival? The amazing Ken Tagious answers those questions and more in this Q and A.
TransKY ADVOCATE What Exactly is Inclusion?
page 6
We use words everyday that we may not exactly know what they mean. Tuesday explains all in her article about what the word “inclusion” really means and looks like.
HUMOR ADVOCACY CULTURE
THE JOURNEY HOME AROUND THE LIBRARY Are You For Real?
page 12
page 8
We are expanding our selection of books to loan out at the PCSO JR Zerkowski is asked that Pride Center Library, but did question a lot at Pride Festivals. you know we also have DVDs? He responds to that question Librarian Megan Lucy reviews asked about LGBTQ+ Catholics the cult classic The Adventures and why they too should of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, celebrate Pride. which is now available for loan.
FEATURE COMMUNITY CALENDAR JULY 2018 // LinQ 3
TALKIN’ ABOUT
by Helena Handbasket
HUMOR
I
am 53 years old and I still have not been able to overcome one of my biggest flaws. I have always wanted everyone to like me. I would like to think that no one actually enjoys it when someone doesn’t like them, but I have made some sort of life quest to make everyone like me. And it has taken me this long to realize that my goal is just not possible. There will always be someone that doesn’t like me for various reasons. Maybe they have a difference of opinion and aren’t open-minded enough to realize that we don’t have to all think alike to like each other. Maybe I offend them when I do offer my opinion or speak out when I see an injustice or untruth. Maybe they’re jealous. The possibilities are endless, I suppose. I have managed in the last year to hurt or piss off everyone from strangers to clergy—entertainers to relatives. Now, if it was my intention to do that, then I would feel obligated to do what was necessary to fix it. However, in most of those cases it was not intentional. And in most of those cases, I don’t even know what it was I did to piss them off (most, but not all of the cases). Yet, some of them choose to talk about me behind my back, of course, and even try to influence others not to like me as well. Some might say I’m being paranoid, but you see… there are many people who do care about me and tell me when I’m being talked about. While I like to think the best of people, I start to believe it when I hear the news from several different people.
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I have been accused of having a clique. I admit that there is a lot of truth to this statement. But what is a clique really? I consider the people in my clique to be anyone who treats me with kindness and respect. There are many different types of people in my clique. My clique is not exclusive but rather, inclusive. There are gay people, straight people, old people, young people, people of all different races, ethnicities, gender identities, socio-economic classes, and so on and so on. It is human nature to want to run in your own circle. We tend to want to be with those people who validate us and make us feel good. We must be careful, however, to not make our circle too small or closed because we could miss important people and cheat ourselves out of the joy they could share with us. It is just as important not to include people in your circle who will harm you or those you love. Finally, I had to take a hard look and ask myself why it mattered. Why do I care what people, who are not even an important part of my life, think of me? I’m not running for office. I’m not trying to rule the world. All I am trying to do is live my life to the fullest and enjoy each moment that I can. I am not trying to be better than anyone else, but I am always trying to be the best I can be. So, if my conscience is clear, then it’s time for me to let it go and move on to more important things. It is time to concentrate on all of the good that my life has to offer and all of
the many blessings I get from genuine friends and people who care about me. It’s time to stay focused and continue with the work and the mission that I set out to do years ago in my life. The mission of reminding people of their own goodness. The mission of holding a mirror up to people and making them see the good that lives within themselves. The mission of sharing with the people that I engage and interact with that each of them is special and important and they are worthy of love— both from others and from themselves. So, my new mantra is, “Two tears in a bucket…” For the rest of the phrase, you can read the book by Lady Chablis called Hiding My Candy. One of my sisters keeps telling me if they aren’t feeding me, financing me, or ****ing me, then forget about them. Good advice, I think! This may sound callous and bitter and I have strived to not have a hardened heart. However, a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do in order to protect herself. So… I guess I’ll wear my shield of protection. Just pray for me that my shield is only worn when needed and that no one ever gets blocked from my heart that I am supposed to know or that needs love or joy that I can give them. I wish I could be a good person all of the time, but in some situations, turning the other cheek is something I just can’t do. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be better. Send comments or suggestions to HelenaHandbasketKY@gmail.com
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FOCUS ON FAIRNESS, EQUALITY & JUSTICE
Happy Pride Month! I look forward to meeting you at PRIDE and other community events and I appreciate your VOTE on November 6!
JUDGE PAMELA
GOODWINE COURT OF APPEALS
EXPERIENCE • DEDICATED • RESULTS • Presided over more capital murder cases than any judge in the Commonwealth of Kentucky • Presided over more trials than any other judge in the 5th Appellate District • Awarded Trial Judge of the Year • 18 years as a trial judge
CONNECT WITH ME ON FACEBOOK
VISIT JUDGEGOODWINE.COM TO HELP ME ACHIEVE MY DREAM! VOLUNTEER • DONATE • YARD SIGNS
Paid for by Friends of Judge Goodwine, Lindy Karns, C.P.A., Treasurer
TransKY ADVOCATE by Tuesday G Meadows
WHAT EXACTLY IS INCLUSION?
“Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand/Put a little love in your heart/You see it’s getting late, oh please don’t hesitate... I hope you decide kindness will be your guide/Put a little love in your heart/And the world will be a better place for you and me/You just wait and see.” Put A Little Love In Your Heart, Jackie DeShannon
ADVOCACY
J
ust last month, I wrote about those of us who get excluded. Little did I know that the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) would be ruling on the Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission (MC) case in early June, right after my article went to print. They ruled very narrowly that the Colorado Civil Rights Commission acted unfairly in the handling of the case against MC. Of course, now bigots see it as permission that they can exclude anybody from their businesses that they see as unfit to use their goods or service. The part of the ruling from SCOTUS that some seem to be overlooking is where they said that LGBTQ+ persons should be treated with dignity when accessing goods and services in the marketplace. Which brings us to the subject of inclusion. Many of us can point out groups or organizations that exclude different people. Whether it is tacitly or overtly, organizations use many tactics to exclude. They may say “Men Only,” target a particular religion, admit those with a certain education, or require financial commitments that exclude many. Inclusion is much more tricky. Indeed,
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even groups that say they are inclusive can have some barriers to true inclusion. Often groups confuse their want for diversity with inclusion, which leads to tokenism, disenfranchisement, or worse. The organizations that strive for true inclusion know that it is always a work in progress. There are some great organizations striving for inclusion of LGBTQ+ people in Lexington. The Bluegrass Rainbow Faith Communities (BRFC) engages their grassroots effort for an interfaith coalition of LGBTQ+ affirming faith and lay leaders. They even provide a directory of LGBTQ+ affirming congregations across different faiths, published annually. Louise Tallen and Rev. Carol Ruthven lead the coalition and work hard along with Vicki Stanley to build connections in the community. The Pride Community Services Organization (PCSO) has inclusion and not just diversity as a top priority under the leadership of Christopher Bauer. The United Nations Association of The Bluegrass under Dr. Greg Hall is a wonderful example of inclusion. They never quit working toward progress. In healthcare, a great
example is Transform Health. They see all LGBTQ+ people, especially those who may have felt like the system had failed them in the past. In health-related research, I’m particularly fond of the Wellness Health and You (WHY; formerly Women’s Health and You) project and their branch WHY Queer Health that focuses increasing participation in clinical research for our community at the University of Kentucky. The research focuses on queer people because we face an array of health disparities, including higher rates of breast and cervical cancer and lower rates of screening. Additionally, we experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance use disorder, and tobacco use compared to our nonqueer counterparts. Likewise, life events, including discrimination or lack of family acceptance, may fuel health disparities. The face of that project is Lateisha Ousley and we’ve become friends. Not only is she a bundle of energy, but she is also always considerate, mindful, and kind in her pursuit of getting people involved with this research. Despite these bright spots in our community, nationally, there are some ominous signs of increased exclusion. Our military
commerce, buy goods, or work at a business together? Is our government for all of its people? Maybe absolute inclusion is not possible. But I want any group that I am part of to always strive for inclusion. As a society, as a country, I want us to work together to be inclusive. Inclusion makes
all of its members feel valued and important. Sounds like something I want to be part of. You may write me at tmeadows828@gmail. com or follow my blog at Tuesdays gonewiththewind.wordpress.com. Now Tuesday’s gone with the wind.
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ADVOCACY
is a prime example. I am amazed at the number of people who now say things like our government shouldn’t let transgender individuals serve in the military. That our military is not a social experiment (meant to be a slam at President Obama). But you know what? Our military is a social experiment. Our entire country is a social experiment. If we want to continue as a country, we need to ask ourselves some hard questions. Can people of different backgrounds come together to protect our country? Inclusion in our military makes us stronger, not weaker. At this point in our history, we will be remembered as to how we answered some important questions. Can straight people and queer people live and worship together? Can people of different ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender identities, or races conduct
THE JOURNEY HOME
—PRIDE—
“Are You For Real?” by Stan “JR” Zerkowski, Founder of Lexington Interfaith Encounters Executive Director, Fortunate Families, Inc.
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S
ometimes I am a curiosity and, for some people, a perplexing one too. I am always asked questions about the ministry I participate in. Usually, people feel very strongly, one way or another, about what I do. Pride Festivals, though, really brought out the questions! “Are you for real?” That particular question was asked repeatedly at festivals last year. We had our banners: “LGBT Catholics, Family & Friends—All Are Welcome” and “Catholic LGBT Ministry—Together on the Bridge.” By the looks on many people’s faces who stopped by the booth we had at PrideFest here in Lexington and Pride Festivals in Frankfort and Morehead, the banners and I were outdone in being the sole curiosities when they noticed Father John Curtis in Roman collar or Sister Clara Fehringer, OSU,
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sporting her Ursuline cross in the booth. We had straight, LGBTQ+, celibate, single, partnered, and married people staffing the booth, too. A lot of people were amazed! Some Catholics were unhappy with us for being there; some LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers were unhappy with the Catholic Church. We were happy though! We were happy to be part of these wonderful gatherings. We listened, embraced, cried with, laughed with, affirmed, celebrated and loved LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers. We chatted up a storm with some of the Kentucky Fried Sisters and we
even channeled the Weather Girls for an impromptu singalong; we shared over 1,000 “Catholics United in Dignity” buttons and 1,500 wildflower seed packets that read “Bee the change you want to see!” Oh,
and we prayed with folks, too. At the Festivals and during the last year, I have been asked, many times, by detractors and supporters: “Why would a Catholic celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride?” I’d like to rephrase the question and then answer it for you. I think the real question is: “Why should a Catholic celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride?” Let me explain. Jesus’ entire life and ministry called his followers to be concerned with the marginalized, the oppressed, those on the peripheries, and people whom others considered outcast or unwelcomed— even those whom the religious leaders considered unclean or unworthy. The dignity of every human person is a foundational element of Catholic Social Teaching and sisters and brothers who
“I was curious but was not sure if I should ask.” Then he told me that in the Islamic tradition, it is a blessing to visit someone, especially a child who is sick. “I knew you from the United Encounters and I wanted to give you this blessing,” he told me. I have learned that God, many times, invites us to encounter others so that we can build bridges and work to end injustice and inequality. Others become a blessing to us and we become a blessing to them. When we encounter another person, we encounter the life of the Divine. So, it makes sense that we’d receive a blessing. Our coming together to celebrate Pride is a blessing. Each of us is a blessing. You who are reading this article—you are a blessing! This is the crux of our Pride. When we reach out and build bridges with our hearts, hands, attitudes, openness, welcome,
creativity, laughter, tears, talents, goodness, stories, and love, we have reasons to be proud. Our Pride, really, is in sharing ourselves —our wonderfully graced selves—with others, being a blessing to them. We are one human family, united in dignity, united in Pride, on our journey home. We celebrate our dignity and Pride in festivals everywhere. LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers celebrate. Straight allies, families, and friends celebrate. Our sisters and brothers of other faith traditions and those who ascribe to no faith tradition celebrate. Yes, even we Catholics celebrate! Q
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are hurt, rejected, or have been intentionally marginalized or hurt by the Church must now understand that they are loved and valued by our witness and not just our words. The precious gift of presence is a means of acknowledging and sharing God’s life among us as equally blessed and equally beloved children of one Creator. And, we are called to hold sacred the image of the Divine in every person—which surely includes our LGBTQ+ sisters and whose dignity and pride we especially celebrate. Last June, during Pride month, a couple of weeks before the Pride Interfaith Service, I visited the children’s ward in the hospital. A man stopped me in the hallway and invited me to come and visit his sick daughter. He was a Muslim. At the end of my visit, he asked: “Do you want to know why I invited you to see my daughter?” “Yes,” I said,
SPOTLIGHT ON WELL-BEING by David Pascale-Hague, PhD
SEEDS OF HOPE How to Discuss Suicide and Offer Hope
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A
s I write this article, there is much in the news about suicide. Two well-known celebrities have died by suicide and a conversation is emerging online and in person about how to speak to others who may be feeling suicidal and how to discuss suicide after it happens. I want to begin with a few direct statements: If you are experiencing suicidal thinking, there is help available to you Call or text now to speak to a person who can listen and help. 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or chat online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat How can we respectfully discuss suicide when it touches our lives? What can we do when someone in our life has died by suicide? When someone has died by suicide, the language we use to discuss it matters. If we use terms like “committed” suicide we are then implying a crime or a moral failure. When we speak about suicide using language such as “died by suicide” we convey far less judgement, and focus less
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on stigma. It is also important to keep in mind that privacy matters. Protecting any known details of the suicide is a key way to respect those who are grieving. It also avoids sensationalizing or further stigmatizing suicide. Many people who lose a loved one to suicide will feel isolated and confused. In addition, the social stigma about suicide can create a barrier between them and their usual support network. When someone we know has experienced the death of a loved one to suicide, they may be looking for social and personal support, which can offer a ray of hope to those who are grieving. Helping your friend maintain strong social support while they process their loss can make it easier for them to know who to access for help when they need it. Don’t be surprised by intense feelings, but continue to listen and offer compassion. Do not feel the need to explain or make sense of it for the person. Simply listening and reminding them you are present and available is the key ingredient. Remember, they may be going through troubling and confusing emotions; such as guilt, blame,
anger, regret and shame, well beyond what they may have ever experienced before. When someone we know (or even high-profile persons like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain) has died by suicide, many people have natural questions. How did this happen? Why would someone end their life? What if someone I love is ever feeling suicidal? These questions ask us to reflect on those around us and sometimes we are unsure how we would even offer help if someone opened up to us about their own thoughts of suicide. If a friend speaks to you about their depressed feelings and you are concerned about their safety, it is often best to plainly and directly ask if they are thinking about suicide. An example would be, “I hear how sad you have been feeling, have you been thinking about suicide?” If you want to be ready to help a friend, then you need to practice hearing yourself say these words. Even as you read this column now, practice saying it out loud. Our own internalized stigmas about suicide can get in the way of plainly asking someone we love if they are thinking about suicide, but being
will access supportive therapy or emergency services. An additional myth is that suicide happens without warning. While there may indeed be cases when a person kept their thinking or planning private, many others cases include times when someone does share their thinking with a person they trust. These are the moments when we can make a difference and take the signs or warnings seriously. A person sharing their thinking may not always make a direct, easy to understand verbal statement. Sometimes we will need to pick up on the veiled cues. Cues and warning signs may include hopelessness, substance use, depression, isolation, mood changes, anger, or recklessness. When you see these signs, it could be an important time to make space to speak with your friend. We each have an important
Emotional Support for Men
part to play in helping others find support when they are feeling suicidal or depressed. We also have a part to play in helping others process and grieve when someone has died by suicide. Continue to educate yourself and others about this important issue. If we can have more honest conversations, in time, maybe we can save a life. For more information please visit: www.suicidology.org David Pascale-Hague is a licensed Psychologist in private practice in Lexington, KY and a Board member of the Pride Community Services Organization.
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able to ask can open the door to save a life. Before you ask the question, please research what resources are available. Offer the suicide prevention phone number. Stay with the person while they call. Offer to help them locate a therapist or to get to the ER if they need immediate help. Do not back down now, stay with the person and offer help. Being by their side can make all the difference. There is a common myth that asking someone about suicide when they are speaking about depression can make them more likely to act on their thinking. In actuality, published psychological research has found no correlation between discussing suicide and an increase in acting on suicidal plans. In fact, it may be the case that giving someone the chance to speak openly about their thoughts can improve the chances they
This article is educational in nature and not intended to replace mental health treatment. Please reach out to local resources if you need professional support.
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Do you struggle with intimacy, and trust in relationships? We are proud to offer group therapy for men who are oriented towards other men, regardless of identities or labels. Gay, bisexual, queer, questioning (etc.) men are all welcome. Group is designed as a place to discuss identity, intimacy, self-esteem, relationships, and other issues of importance to group members. Group can help you build trust, gives opportunities for feedback, and cultivates personal growth. Thursdays 6:30-8pm $37 / per session if paid weekly $275 / 8-weeks paid prior to group
Personalized Individual Therapy for Adults Affirming Mental Health Support for the LGBTQ Community
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859-429-1362
AROUND THE LIBRARY reviewed by Megan Lucy
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The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
I
n addition to books, the PCSO Pride Library also houses a collection of DVDs for patrons to borrow. Several patrons had recently requested a copy of the film, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and we are happy to say that the library has added a copy of the DVD to the collection. The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, is a 1994 Australian musical staring Hugo Weaving (Lord of the Rings, The Matrix), Guy Pearce (Momento, Iron Man 3), and Terence Stamp (1978’s Superman, Smallville). Weaving and Pearce play drag queens Tick (Mitzi) and Adam (Felicia) who, tiring of the drag scene in Sydney, book a
written by Stephan Elliott residency at a resort in Alice Springs, nearly 3,000 miles away and across the Outback Desert. Stamp plays the recently widowed transgender woman, Bernadette, whom Tick convinces to join them on the trip as a way to work though her grief. The trio hop onboard a tour bus that Adam paints purple and christens, “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.” They run into many difficulties along the way from bus trouble, to getting lost, to dealing with homophobic communities. However, they are met with just as many uplifting and wonderful surprises as they make new friends and get to know each other and themselves better.
The film is most known for its drag covers of popular 70s hits, and for the splendid costuming, which won the film an Oscar. I found the film to be truly delightful, while also dealing surprisingly well with deeper content such as family, love, grief, and self-acceptance. The DVD copy the library has is used and froze on me once as I watched it, but I was able to move it forward and finish the film. Given the demand for the film and its status as a classic, we will continue looking for a higher quality DVD. In the meantime, the copy currently in the library’s collection can be found on the A/V shelf under AV-FEAT ADVE. Q
Betsy Donelson
Lexington’s LoveABLE Warrior by Carmen Wampler-Collins
FEATURE
B
etsy Donelson’s roots in activism run deep. was a place where I could help make a difference.” Born with cerebral palsy, they learned quickly that life They jumped into making a difference by wasn’t always fair and that they would have to fight for interning and volunteering at the Kentucky Refugee their rights if they wanted people to respect them. They Ministries. In addition, Betsy became involved in started school a few years before the Americans with disability activism by participating in conferences Disabilities Act became law, but strong-willed even around and developing programming about sexuality as a child, they convinced their mom to fight for the for disabled people. They also became a moderator for accommodations they needed at school. When they an online disability support group. At the same time, were seven, they took on their elementary school and they took on a new challenge focusing on creativity. won. “Even though I had always been interested in Betsy says it wasn’t a very big jump to becoming making art, I can’t see three-dimensional space because an activist. “Discrimination is so overt for people of my disability. In high school, I was told that I couldn’t with disabilities. I knew I wasn’t being treated fairly, be an artist because I couldn’t draw. My art teacher and I did what I had to do to change that. From there, wanted me to be the teacher’s helper rather than making whenever I saw somebody in life that wasn’t being adaptations so that I could participate in class.” Their treated fairly for whatever reason, I wanted to stand up creative nature kept bringing them back to art, though, for them too.” so as an adult they figured out a process that Betsy came to Lexington when worked for them. They began creating they received a full scholarship to colorful abstract backgrounds and attend Transylvania University. overlaying them with layers of After graduating, they went on found images that they colored to the University of Kentucky and reassembled along with where they earned a Masters creative wording that they in Social Work. They stayed printed. They began using in the area because it felt this process to scrapbook as like home. “Having moved well as to make stand-alone around the country growing pieces. They branched out up, I finally felt like I was into making creative crochet in a place where I could put pieces, fused bead work, down roots. A lot of people and cross-stitch. By varying encouraged me to move to a their mediums they found they bigger, more progressive place, could maintain a creative practice but there are so many good things regardless of fluctuations in their Betsy Donelson shows off some of their artwork. happening here. I felt like Lexington physical condition.
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Betsy sees making art as something that goes hand-inhand with activism. “Creativity is freedom. I don’t enter the space of making art with a handicap.” They also say that it allows them to express their “darker” emotions in a way that is more palatable to many people. “Sometimes what I am allowed to express in my everyday life has rules because of identities
FEATURE
for people with disabilities. They more inclusive space within the explain, “There is a lot of segregation LGBTQ+ community. So when they in the disability community. We are found out there was potential to a very diverse group as a whole and start a group for LGBTQ+ people are often divided based on the types with disabilities at the PCSO, it felt of disabilities we have, whether we like a good fit. They launched the have physical or mental disabilities, group, LoveABLE, in the fall of 2017 whether our disabilities are visible and moderate the meetings that take or invisible to the rest of the world, place every Wednesday evening at and even the words we use and ways 5:30 P.M. at the PCSO Pride Center. we refer to ourselves.” They go on to Topics for the group have ranged say that most support from creating accommodations, to and advocacy groups dating and having sex, to coming are specific to a certain out about a disability. Future plans type of disability or include an art night and group impairment, but that social outings. They want to see the inclusive resources group grow and change to meet the are limited, making needs of the people who attend. it difficult for some in Betsy recently had to take a the community to find step back from the group and their support and resources. other work to deal with a cancer For a long time, Betsy diagnosis. It hasn’t daunted their Betsy Doneslson tables for the Pride Community Services Organization to inform had wanted to start approach to life though. They say, people about LoveABLE and the other services offered by the PCSO. a support and social “I don’t know who I am if I’m not I hold. For example, if I choose to group that would be inclusive to conquering something.” They are express my anger over how difficult all people with mental and physical now recovering from a successful the world can be, I can be labeled as disabilities and/or chronic illnesses. surgery and have a positive a bitter, disabled person—someone They wanted to create a space prognosis for the future. They see who isn’t ‘doing disability correctly.’ where people could talk about their themselves getting back to the I can express the same emotions and shared challenges and triumphs bigger fight for a better life soon. ideas in my art and it isn’t judged as in a world that was not always “For better or worse, I see myself harshly.” accessible or understanding. They as a warrior. Sometimes a dejected, As a level playing field for believed there was a way to make tired warrior, but I don’t know how self-expression, art has come to be this happen because they had seen to go through the world without an important focus in Betsy’s life. it in the LGBTQ+ community. “The making change.” They say that there is not a person LGBTQ+ umbrella includes a lot of in the world who can’t make art, diverse identities, and while it can Q and they spend a lot of time trying be challenging to remain inclusive, to prove that point. They created there are groups a studio in their home and have that include and developed a creative practice that support all of us they share with others in person and and our rights as via video blog. They sell finished a whole.” work through Art the Fork Studios As a nonand all proceeds from commissions binary, bisexual, and original creations are donated disabled person to charities. You can find out more who is married about their work at ArtTheFork on to a bisexual, Instagram. disabled man, Betsy is also passionate about Betsy was also building connections and inclusion eager to create Betsy Donelson with husband Steve Donelson.
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THE KENTUCKY FRIED SISTERS A Question and Answer
FEATURE
by Ken Tagious
Q: A:
What are The Kentucky Fried Sisters?
The Kentucky Fried Sisters are a group of rather radical genderqueer clown nuns that serve the Bluegrass community. We are dedicated to education, activism, and advocacy of the queer community and its allies. We formed on December 11th of 2016 when we manifested (put on makeup) and ventured out for afternoon tea at Shakespeare and Co. Since that day we have grown in number and in spirit. We currently host a variety of routine events in Lexington and the surrounding areas and attend local events in the community.
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What is The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and how do you all fit into that?
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The Kentucky Fried Sisters are basically the Lexington abbey of the international organization “The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence”. The group started in 1979 in San Francisco, CA. and since then has grown exponentially. The Order is coming up on its 40th anniversary and in North America, I believe, we currently have 46 houses. Kentucky is actually blessed to have two houses of nuns! We have The Derby City Sisters of Louisville and The Kentucky Fried Sisters of Lexington right here in the Bluegrass.
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Members of the Kentucky Fried Sisters commune with members of other Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence houses.
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Many feel that your organization mocks nuns and the Catholic religion, is this true? The short answer to that is “No”. Nuns take vows of stability, so do we. Nuns take vows of poverty, most of us have been poor for as long as we can remember. Nuns take vows of obedience, so do we. Nuns take vows of celibacy, three out of four is pretty good, I think. We do not mock nuns, we ARE nuns for the queer community. As far as Catholicism is concerned, we actually base a lot of our traditions on Catholics and organized religion as a whole. To the claims that we make fun of religion, we make fun of everything… we are clown nuns.
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Why the white makeup?
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So, there are actually several versions as to why we wear the clown white when we do ministry. The first one is that many of our early members were rent boys and were afraid that they would be recognized and it would potentially harm their business. Another was that in the late 70s, our culture suffered (or still suffers) from high levels of toxic masculinity. Gay men were deeply concerned with their perception and wanted to be viewed as these highly masculine “Tom of Finland” types. Many feared that if they were seen as gender bending dragnuns that they would basically be forced into a vow of celibacy. Others in the Order feel that this mask helps make us anonymous. That covering our faces will make our work in the community the focus. In the KFS we refer to it as our war paint. There was once a time when it was used to hide our faces, but now I like to think it helps us stand out. We are iconic and recognizable to those in need and at the same time we are fierce fighters capable of striking fear into those that wish to war against our family. I will let you decide which one you believe.
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What are the types of membership offered in the KFS?
We actually have four types of membership within the KFS. We have sisters which are what most people think of in regard to our organization. They are the nuns. Second, we have the role of brother, which is like a priest or a monk. We have guards that watch over other members and help to ensure the safety of the sisters and brothers. Finally, we have angels. Angels are members of our house that volunteer and help us, but simply have no interest in doing makeup.
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How many members does the KFS currently have?
Our roost is made up of 18 members so far. We have What is with the forks and plate on your head? three angels, one guard, two brothers, and twelve sisters. We are constantly growing as well and have over a Every house within The Sisters of Perpetual dozen individuals working on joining the organization. Indulgence creates their own unique coronet to be Q part of the overall habit they wear. Many Orders of actual nuns do something very similar. The idea behind designing a unique coronet is we become easily recognizable and distinct from other workers in our Order. For example, Louisville sisters wear a large white derby hat as a part of their habit. In Lexington we decided to do something silly and playful, we designed a headpiece that would be easily recognizable, had great symbolism behind it, and also embraced our fried foolishness as sacred clowns. Our official house coronet is a golden plate adorned with golden forks, sporks, or even chicken. Our house actually has six coronets but the Halo (fork and plate) is our most iconic.
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FEATURE
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sharp edges. Founding members may wear this one that we renamed The Bloodletter. Our Brothers wear horns that we call our Profanity. Lastly our guards incorporate a feather into their look and we call it their Plumage.
You have six coronets; can you explain why?
To be fair, positions in our house require their own coronet and function also plays a large factor into this. We have the official house coronet which is the fork and plate halo. We also have a “Festive” coronet called the Bucket O’ Fun that is a modified chicken bucket. We understand that sometimes these pieces can be obnoxious and obstruct the view of others so we created the Nimbus which is made of flowers upon our heads. Some of you have seen that when we first started we used to wear a radiant crown of spines. This was quickly changed because of the danger it presented by having
Sister Ken Tagious.
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SUSTAINING
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S
PRIDE
by Paul Brown, 2018 Lexington Pride Festival Chair
ustainability—we frequently utilize the word to talk about systems. We discuss the sustainability of an organization. We work on the sustainability of the ecosystem. We throw sustainability out there for any tangible system we want to maintain. But do we apply the word to intangible concepts? Do we talk about the sustainability of love? Of self-worth? Of truth? Perhaps some, but not terribly often. I would like to apply the word to the concept of Pride. I am writing this article in the middle of June for the July issue. As I sit here reflecting on what I have seen this month, I realize how widely June has come to be associated with Pride and how huge Pride has grown. I walk the mall or go shopping at bookstores to find large Pride displays. Major retailer Target had one of the biggest, nicest collections I have seen. I look through Facebook and notice so many people using a rainbow themed frame on their profile picture. People are posting countless videos of rainbow unicorns and sassy drag queens sashaying down the streets. This is the month where people feel more comfortable and emboldened to be out and vocal about it. With two weeks to go until the Lexington Pride Festival, people are still trying to get vendor or sponsorship booths, and we have sold out of space. I am very proud of the enormity that the Lexington Pride Festival has amassed. Wherever I go, the message is clear that Pride is what is new, now,
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next, and everybody wants a piece of it. But what happens in July when this article hits stands and the Pride Festival has ended? When the stores take down their displays? When Facebook goes back to people sharing posts about their butternut squash spaghetti dinners? It is true that Joseph Beth will take down its roundtable of LGBTQ+ themed books and Target will remove its display of clothes decked out in rainbows soon after June 30th. But does that mean that we in the community have nothing to look up to? Nothing to be proud of? Does Pride become an after thought or a quaint memory until next year? Let us make a deal that the definitive answer to those questions is NO. Sustainability means finding ways to celebrate Pride all year. Let us agree that we will espouse Pride through the entire year, and let us talk about the sustainability of Pride. Pride is so much more than one month, so much more than a Festival. Pride is knowing that clothes belong in closets not people. When elected leaders ask you to hide your essence, tell them you clawed out of the closet and you are not going back. Do not hide for their sake. You have been uncomfortable long enough. They can deal with some discomfort. Pride is self-care, self-worth, and self-love no matter what. When people unprepared to be a part of an inclusive world hurl hurtful insults, you stand strong in your truth and never cave, for you know you are
worthy. Pride is banding together with and bolstering other members of the LGBTQ+ family. When haters put down our trans brothers and sisters or our POC family, you tell them they can take their hatred out the door, out of Lexington, out of Kentucky, out of these great United States. Pride is learning LGBTQ+ history and issues and endeavoring to educate others about them. When doubters tell you that you have no history, you point to people like Harvey Milk and the drag queens at the Stonewall Inn and remind them of the brave sacrifices they made to ensure we could achieve equality. Pride is finding spirituality and finding peace in that relationship. When non-affirming churches tell you that God hates you, you tell them you will find a church with a valid message because God does not hate His creations but loves them, all of them, and love wins every time. Love wins every time. Really, that statement is the key to Pride’s sustainability. If you come at each day with love, you will triumph, and you will be proud of your triumph. Coming with love is not a component of June or a Festival, it is a component of sustaining Pride 365 days per year. Love Family. Love your community. Love your history. Above all, love yourself. With that advice held tight, I promise you will sustain Pride. As you are reading this article, the Festival and June are coming to their end, but I say to you today and every day, Happy Pride, Loves.
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IMPERIAL COURT OF KENTUCKY NEWS The Imperial Court of Kentucky Presents The Bourbon Ball—Coronation 37 Highlights by Her Most Imperial Majesty, Empress 37 Petty Giuliana Poussey and His Most Imperial Majesty, Regent Emperor 37 Clayton Burchell
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presented The Bourbon Ball, Coronation 37. This event, held on June 3, 2018 at the Lexington Downtown Hilton was a huge fundraising success! Thank you to all
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s the newest monarchs of the Imperial Court of Kentucky, we would like to thank everyone who attended this year’s Coronation as The Imperial Court of Kentucky
Her Most Imperial Majesty, Empress 37 Petty Poussey & His Most Imperial Majesty, Regent Emperor 37 Clayton Burchell were crowned at The Bourbon Ball, Coronation 37, on June 3 at the Downtown Hilton.
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the visiting courts and community supporters for your attendance at this year’s event. One of the many highlights that came from this amazing event included a preview of the film, Nelly Queen: The Life and Times of Jose Sarria. The Imperial Court of Kentucky was thrilled that we were able to receive a grant from JustFundKY in the amount of $5,000 to support the final editing and production of this epic project. A check was presented on stage at this year’s Coronation to Executive Producer, Writer, & Director, Mr. Joe Castel. This grant will help tell the story and celebrate the legacy of Jose Sarria, founder of the International Imperial Court System and the world’s first openly gay man to run for public office (ten years before Harvey Milk). Mr. Castel and the Imperial Court of Kentucky are in the process of planning a premier screening of this film in Lexington later this year. Another highlight of the evening was celebrating one the Imperial Court of Kentucky’s trailblazers, Her Imperial Majesty, Empress 15 & 20—Natalie Gaye. It was imperative that we posthumously honor Empress Natalie Gaye for her lifelong
Joe Castel, Nicole Diamond, & Daddy Wayne receive a grant check from JustFundKy for final editing & production of Nelly Queen: The Life and Times of Jose Sarria at The Bourbon Ball, Coronation 37, on June 3 at the Downtown Hilton.
Legend by Imperial Proclamation, bestowing the perpetual title of Honorary Empress of Kentucky for Life to Chelsea Pearl. Chelsea Pearl was present to accept the award and gave a very touching acceptance speech. We are thrilled to have witnessed such an incredible moment and to honor an individual who has been an advocate and trailblazer for the LGBTQ+ community. Chelsea, your Imperial Court of Kentucky Family will always be there for you throughout anything and everything you need. Lastly, Coronation ended with a regal procession and crowning of Regent Emperor 37 and Empress 37 of the Imperial Court of Kentucky.
As the newly crowned Monarchs, we are both thrilled and excited that the community has selected us to represent our community. We are eager to help lead the Court through a great year of fundraising. We both have a vision, a mission, and goals that we hope you will embrace and help us in raising money for our partner charities. We thank you for believing in us and we look forward to an amazing year. Watch our website at www. imperialcourtofkentucky.org and our Facebook Page for upcoming events! “Through Diversity Comes Prosperity”.
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dedication to the Imperial Court of Kentucky and this community. In memory of her legacy, The College of Monarchs established the Natalie Gaye Humanitarian Award. The following individuals in our community were recognized with this inaugural prestigious award: Debbie & Paul Wesley (Natalie’s sister and brother-in-law), His Imperial Majesty Emperor 20— Christopher Rhorer, Her Imperial Majesty Empress 18—Eden Towers, Her Imperial Majesty Empress 19— Tracy Taylor, and lifelong friend— Georgia Peach. A special highlight of the evening came when the College of Monarchs honored a Lexington
Chelsea Pearl (Center) speaks after receiving an Imperial Proclamation bestowing upon her the perpetual title of Honorary Empress of Kentucy for Life, with Nicole Diamond (Left) & Fred Worsham (Right) at The Bourbon Ball, Coronation 37, on June 3 at the Downtown Hilton.
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The Imperial Court of Kentucky honors individuals with the Natalie Gaye Humanitarian Award at The Bourbon Ball, Coronation 37, on June 3 at the Downtown Hilton. From Left: Nicole Diamond, Helena Handbasket,Tracey Taylor, Debbie Paul,Wesley Paul, Eden Towers, Christopher Rhorer, Georgia Peach, & Daddy Wayne.
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BASTIN THE EXPERIENCED LEADER LEXINGTON NEEDS As Lexington’s Chief of Police and Commissioner of Public Safety, Ronnie Bastin led thousands of employees, managed half of government and oversaw million-dollar departments where he cut waste and reduced spending without any layoffs. As Mayor, Ronnie will modernize crime fighting by getting at the root causes of crime instead of just treating the symptoms. He will work to tackle the opioid epidemic, confront violent crime and keep students safe from guns in our schools. But Ronnie will also work to maintain the progress Lexington has achieved in making the city a nationally-recognized, welcoming community for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
w w w.bastinformayor.com F
@bastinformayorlex
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@ronniebastin
Paid for by Bastin for Mayor
Staff from The Bar Complex pose in front of the new historic marker recognizing their location. From Left: Georgia Peach, Armani Devine, Uma Jewels, Jenna Jive, Cadillac Seville, Kali Dupree, Joey Brookshire, & Jayda Mack.
One of two new historical markers, the first in Kentucky marking LGBTQ+ history, is unveiled in front of The Bar Complex on June 3rd. The second marker is around the corner at Water & Quality Streets.
Dean Bucalos & Ernesto Scorsone, attorneys who represented Jeffrey Wasson in a case that struck down Kentucky’s anti-sodomy law, pose in front of the new historical marker commerorating their victory.
Lydia Frazier and Sarah Brown prepare for Pride month at Lussi Brown Coffee Bar by hanging a rainbow flag in their shop window on Church Street.
Members of Company Q perform their original play, Golden Goal at the Lexington Children’s Theatre on June 9.
Evan Wampler-Collins, LexPrideFest Volunteers Chair, tables for the Lexington Pride Festival and PCSO at the Kentuckiana Pride Festival on June 16.
Members of the Woodford County Fairness Coalition at the Woodford County Pride Picnic. From Left (Standing): Steve Osborne, Natalie Blake, Wes Blake, MariaTheresia Eggert, Dan Brown, Elington King, Jeannie King, & Davey King. From Left (Seated): Mary Nehring & Jerry Sevier.
JULY CALENDAR & DIRECTORY
Tuesday, July 3 7:30 p.m.-Crystal Meth Anonymous (LGBTQ+ Inclusive) (First Presbyterian Church) Wednesday, July 4 5:30 p.m.-LoveABLE Meeting (PCSO Center) 7:00 p.m.-“Heart To Heart” LGBTQ+ Discussion Group (PCSO Center) Thursday, July 5 6:30 p.m.-PCSO Board Meeting (PCSO Center) Saturday, July 7 10:00 a.m.-Grief Support Group (Ahava Center) 2:30 p.m.-Bluegrass Black Pride Meeting (Northside Library) 7:30 p.m.-TransKentucky Meeting
Monday, July 9 6:00 p.m.-LGBTQ+ Sci-Fi/Horror Group (PCSO Center) Tuesday, July 10 6:30 p.m.-PFLAG Meeting (St. Michael’s Church) 7:30 p.m.-Crystal Meth Anonymous (LGBTQ+ Inclusive) (First Presbyterian Church) Wednesday, July 11 5:00 p.m.-Richmond’s Alphabet Soup Support Group (UU Fellowship Hall) 5:30 p.m.-LoveABLE Meeting (PCSO Center) 7:00 p.m.-“Heart To Heart” LGBTQ+ Discussion Group (PCSO Center) Saturday, July 14 1:00 p.m.-PCSO Coming Out Group (PCSO Center) 9:00 p.m.-Kentucky Bourbon Bears Board Meeting (Crossings) Sunday, July 15 LinQ Editorial & Ad Deadline 3:00 p.m.-Kentucky Fried Sisters (PCSO Center)
COMMUNITY & SOCIAL GROUPS 24-Hour National Crisis Line
1-800-221-0446
24-Hour Teen Crisis Line
1-800-432-4510
24/7 Veteran’s Administration Crisis Line
1-800-273-8255, Press 1
AA/Alcoholic Teens
859-277-1877
Alcoholics Anonymous
859-967-9960
Arbor Youth Services
859-254-2501
Council for Peace and Justice
859-488-1448
Fairness of Louisville
502-893-0788
Gay-Straight Alliance, Teens
859-221-4396
Monday, July 16 7:00 p.m.-GLAST - LGBTQ+ in Recovery Peer Support Group (PCSO Center)
Gays & Lesbians Achieveing Sobriety Together
513-334-6945
“Heart to Heart” Discussion Group
859-253-3233
Imperial Court of Kentucky
859-619-7521
KY Survivors Area of Narcotics Anonymous
859-253-4673
Legal Aid of the Bluegrass
859-431-8200
Tuesday, July 17 7:30 p.m.-Crystal Meth Anonymous (LGBTQ+ Inclusive) (First Presbyterian Church)
Lexington Fair Housing Council
1-866-438-8617
Lexington Fairness
859-951-8565
Lexington Human Rights
859-252-4931
Lexington Pride Festival
859-253-3233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
PCSO Pride Center
859-253-3233
PFLAG Central Kentucky, Inc.
859-338-4393
PFLAG Louisville
502-223-1323
Rainbow League
859-806-4299
SAGE Elder Hotline
1-888-234-7243
SisterSound
859-806-0243
Social Services, Lexington
211
TransParentLex
859-230-0409
TransKentucky
859-448-LGBT (5428)
TransLex
translexington@gmail.com
Transgender Youth Family Allies
1-888-462-8932
Trevor Lifeline 24/7
1-866-488-7386
United Way
859-313-5465
VA, Lexington LGBT Veteran Care Office
859-233-4511, Ext. 3482
7:00 p.m.-Bingo with the Kentucky Fried Sisters (Pivot Brewing)
Wednesday, July 18 5:30 p.m.-LoveABLE Meeting (PCSO Center) 7:00 p.m.-“Heart To Heart” LGBTQ+ Discussion Group (PCSO Center) Friday, July 20 7:00 p.m.-Senior’s Bistro (Potluck) (PCSO Center) Sunday, July 22 6:00 p.m. ICK’s Board of Directors/Membership Meeting (PCSO Center)
COLLEGE STUDENT GROUPS Berea College ACE
859-958-3633
BCTC Gay-Straight Alliance
859-246-6365
Centre College BGLA
859-238-5332
EKU Alphabet Center
859-622-5041
EKU Pride Alliance
859-622-1027
Morehead State University
606-783-2071
TUnity (Transy)
859-445-3822
Tuesday, July 24 7:30 p.m.-Crystal Meth Anonymous (LGBTQ+ Inclusive) (First Presbyterian Church)
UK LGBTQ* Resource Center
859-323-3312
Wednesday, July 25 5:30 p.m.-LoveABLE Meeting (PCSO Center) 7:00 p.m.-“Heart To Heart” LGBTQ+ Discussion Group (PCSO Center)
Monday, July 23 6:00 p.m.-LGBTQ+ Sci-Fi/ Horror Group (PCSO Center)
Thursday, July 26 6:30 p.m.-Lexington Pride Festival Committee Meeting. (PCSO Center) Tuesday, July 31 7:30 p.m.-Crystal Meth Anonymous (LGBTQ+ Inclusive) (First Presbyterian Church)
For more details on events, view the full calendar at pcsoky.org at the bottom of the webpage
RELIGIOUS GROUPS Ahava Center for Spiritual Living
859-373-8910
Bluegrass United Church of Christ
859-233-0208
Central Christian Church
859-233-1551
Faith Lutheran Church
859-266-7621
First Presbyterian Church
859-252-1919
Hunter Presbyterian Church
859-277-5126
Lex Friends, Quakers
859-254-3319
Maxwell Street Presbyterian Church
859-255-1075
St. Martha’s Episcopal Church
859-271-7641
St. Michael's Episcopal Church
859-277-7511
Unitarian Universalist Church
859-223-1448
Woodland Christian Church
859-266-3416
HIV/STD TESTING, SERVICES & INFO AIDS Volunteers of Lexington (AVOL)
859-225-3000
Health Department, Fayette County
859-288-2437
Health Department, Woodford County
859-873-4541
HIV/AIDS Legal Project
502-584-1254
Moveable Feast
859-252-2867
Northern KY Region
859-341-4264
UK Adolescent Medicine
859-323-5643
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